The Voyage Out

第31章

Whatwouldyoudoifyoulikedtwopeople,bothofthemtremendously,andyoucouldn’ttellwhichmost?“

“Ishouldgoonlikingthem——Ishouldwaitandsee。Whynot?“

“Butonehastomakeupone’smind,“saidEvelyn。“Orareyouoneofthepeoplewhodoesn’tbelieveinmarriagesandallthat?

Lookhere——thisisn’tfair,Idoallthetelling,andyoutellnothing。

Perhapsyou’rethesameasyourfriend“——shelookedathimsuspiciously;

“perhapsyoudon’tlikeme?“

“Idon’tknowyou,“saidHewet。

“IknowwhenIlikeapersondirectlyIseethem!IknewIlikedyoutheveryfirstnightatdinner。Ohdear,“shecontinuedimpatiently,“whatalotofbotherwouldbesavedifonlypeoplewouldsaythethingstheythinkstraightout!I’mmadelikethat。Ican’thelpit。“

“Butdon’tyoufinditleadstodifficulties?“Hewetasked。

“That’smen’sfault,“sheanswered。“Theyalwaysdragitin-love,Imean。“

“Andsoyou’vegoneonhavingoneproposalafteranother,“

saidHewet。

“Idon’tsupposeI’vehadmoreproposalsthanmostwomen,“

saidEvelyn,butshespokewithoutconviction。

“Five,six,ten?“Hewetventured。

Evelynseemedtointimatethatperhapstenwastherightfigure,butthatitreallywasnotahighone。

“Ibelieveyou’rethinkingmeaheartlessflirt,“sheprotested。

“ButIdon’tcareifyouare。Idon’tcarewhatanyonethinksofme。

Justbecauseone’sinterestedandlikestobefriendswithmen,andtalktothemasonetalkstowomen,one’scalledaflirt。“

“ButMissMurgatroyd——“

“Iwishyou’dcallmeEvelyn,“sheinterrupted。

“Aftertenproposalsdoyouhonestlythinkthatmenarethesameaswomen?“

“Honestly,honestly,——howIhatethatword!It’salwaysusedbyprigs,“

criedEvelyn。“HonestlyIthinktheyoughttobe。That’swhat’ssodisappointing。Everytimeonethinksit’snotgoingtohappen,andeverytimeitdoes。“

“ThepursuitofFriendship,“saidHewet。“Thetitleofacomedy。“

“You’rehorrid,“shecried。“Youdon’tcareabitreally。

YoumightbeMr。Hirst。“

“Well,“saidHewet,“let’sconsider。Letusconsider——“Hepaused,becauseforthemomenthecouldnotrememberwhatitwasthattheyhadtoconsider。Hewasfarmoreinterestedinherthaninherstory,forasshewentonspeakinghisnumbnesshaddisappeared,andhewasconsciousofamixtureofliking,pity,anddistrust。

“You’vepromisedtomarrybothOliverandPerrott?“heconcluded。

“Notexactlypromised,“saidEvelyn。“Ican’tmakeupmymindwhichI

reallylikebest。OhhowIdetestmodernlife!“sheflungoff。

“ItmusthavebeensomucheasierfortheElizabethans!IthoughttheotherdayonthatmountainhowI’dhavelikedtobeoneofthosecolonists,tocutdowntreesandmakelawsandallthat,insteadoffoolingaboutwithallthesepeoplewhothinkone’sjustaprettyyounglady。ThoughI’mnot。Ireallymight_do_something。“

Shereflectedinsilenceforaminute。Thenshesaid:

“I’mafraidrightdowninmyheartthatAlfredPerrot_won’t_do。

He’snotstrong,ishe?“

“Perhapshecouldn’tcutdownatree,“saidHewet。“Haveyounevercaredforanybody?“heasked。

“I’vecaredforheapsofpeople,butnottomarrythem,“shesaid。

“IsupposeI’mtoofastidious。AllmylifeI’vewantedsomebodyI

couldlookupto,somebodygreatandbigandsplendid。Mostmenaresosmall。“

“Whatd’youmeanbysplendid?“Hewetasked。“Peopleare——

nothingmore。“

Evelynwaspuzzled。

“Wedon’tcareforpeoplebecauseoftheirqualities,“

hetriedtoexplain。“It’sjustthemthatwecarefor,“——

hestruckamatch——“justthat,“hesaid,pointingtotheflames。

“Iseewhatyoumean,“shesaid,“butIdon’tagree。IdoknowwhyIcareforpeople,andIthinkI’mhardlyeverwrong。Iseeatoncewhatthey’vegotinthem。NowIthinkyoumustberathersplendid;

butnotMr。Hirst。“

Hewletshookhishead。

“He’snotnearlysounselfish,orsosympatheti

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