The Voyage Out

第44章

“Thelivesofthesepeople,“shetriedtoexplain,theaimlessness,thewaytheylive。Onegoesfromonetoanother,andit’sallthesame。

Onenevergetswhatonewantsoutofanyofthem。“

HeremotionalstateandherconfusionwouldhavemadeheraneasypreyifHelenhadwishedtoargueorhadwishedtodrawconfidences。

Butinsteadoftalkingshefellintoaprofoundsilenceastheywalkedon。Aimless,trivial,meaningless,ohno——whatshehadseenatteamadeitimpossibleforhertobelievethat。

Thelittlejokes,thechatter,theinanitiesoftheafternoonhadshrivelledupbeforehereyes。Underneaththelikingsandspites,thecomingstogetherandpartings,greatthingswerehappening——

terriblethings,becausetheyweresogreat。Hersenseofsafetywasshaken,asifbeneathtwigsanddeadleavesshehadseenthemovementofasnake。Itseemedtoherthatamoment’srespitewasallowed,amoment’smake-believe,andthenagaintheprofoundandreasonlesslawasserteditself,mouldingthemalltoitsliking,makinganddestroying。

ShelookedatRachelwalkingbesideher,stillcrushingtheleavesinherfingersandabsorbedinherownthoughts。Shewasinlove,andshepitiedherprofoundly。Butsherousedherselffromthesethoughtsandapologised。“I’mverysorry,“shesaid,“butifI’mdull,it’smynature,anditcan’tbehelped。“Ifitwasanaturaldefect,however,shefoundaneasyremedy,forshewentontosaythatshethoughtMr。Flushing’sschemeaverygoodone,onlyneedingalittleconsideration,whichitappearedshehadgivenitbythetimetheyreachedhome。Bythattimetheyhadsettledthatifanythingmorewassaid,theywouldaccepttheinvitation。

WhenconsideredindetailbyMr。FlushingandMrs。Ambrosetheexpeditionprovedneitherdangerousnordifficult。

Theyfoundalsothatitwasnotevenunusual。EveryyearatthisseasonEnglishpeoplemadepartieswhichsteamedashortwayuptheriver,landed,andlookedatthenativevillage,boughtacertainnumberofthingsfromthenatives,andreturnedagainwithoutdamagedonetomindorbody。Whenitwasdiscoveredthatsixpeoplereallywishedthesamethingthearrangementsweresooncarriedout。

SincethetimeofElizabethveryfewpeoplehadseentheriver,andnothinghasbeendonetochangeitsappearancefromwhatitwastotheeyesoftheElizabethanvoyagers。ThetimeofElizabethwasonlydistantfromthepresenttimebyamomentofspacecomparedwiththeageswhichhadpassedsincethewaterhadrunbetweenthosebanks,andthegreenthicketsswarmedthere,andthesmalltreeshadgrowntohugewrinkledtreesinsolitude。

Changingonlywiththechangeofthesunandtheclouds,thewavinggreenmasshadstoodthereforcenturyaftercentury,andthewaterhadrunbetweenitsbanksceaselessly,sometimeswashingawayearthandsometimesthebranchesoftrees,whileinotherpartsoftheworldonetownhadrisenupontheruinsofanothertown,andthemeninthetownshadbecomemoreandmorearticulateandunlikeeachother。Afewmilesofthisriverwerevisiblefromthetopofthemountainwheresomeweeksbeforethepartyfromthehotelhadpicnicked。SusanandArthurhadseenitastheykissedeachother,andTerenceandRachelastheysattalkingaboutRichmond,andEvelynandPerrottastheystrolledabout,imaginingthattheyweregreatcaptainssenttocolonisetheworld。

Theyhadseenthebroadbluemarkacrossthesandwhereitflowedintothesea,andthegreencloudoftreesmassthemselvesaboutitfartherup,andfinallyhideitswatersaltogetherfromsight。

Atintervalsforthefirsttwentymilesorsohouseswerescatteredonthebank;bydegreesthehousesbecamehuts,and,laterstill,therewasneitherhutnorhouse,buttreesandgrass,whichwereseenonlybyhunters,explorers,ormerchants,marchingorsailing,butmakingnosettlement。

ByleavingSantaMarinaearlyinthemorning,drivingtwentymilesandridingeight,theparty,whichwascomposedfinallyofsixEnglishpeople,reachedtheriver-sideasthenightfell。

Theycamecanteringthroughthetrees——Mr。andMrs。Flushing,HelenAmbrose,Rachel,Terence,andSt。John。Thetiredlittlehorsesthenstoppedautomatically,andtheEn

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