The Voyage Out

第30章

ButHirstdidnothelphim,andtheotherpeoplewiththeiraimlessmovementsandtheirunknownlivesweredisturbing,sothathelongedfortheemptydarkness。ThefirstthinghelookedforwhenhesteppedoutofthehalldoorwasthelightoftheAmbroses’villa。Whenhehaddefinitelydecidedthatacertainlightapartfromtheothershigherupthehillwastheirlight,hewasconsiderablyreassured。

Thereseemedtobeatoncealittlestabilityinallthisincoherence。

Withoutanydefiniteplaninhishead,hetooktheturningtotherightandwalkedthroughthetownandcametothewallbythemeetingoftheroads,wherehestopped。Theboomingoftheseawasaudible。

Thedark-bluemassofthemountainsroseagainstthepalerblueofthesky。Therewasnomoon,butmyriadsofstars,andlightswereanchoredupanddowninthedarkwavesofearthallroundhim。

Hehadmeanttogoback,butthesinglelightoftheAmbroses’

villahadnowbecomethreeseparatelights,andhewastemptedtogoon。

HemightaswellmakesurethatRachelwasstillthere。Walkingfast,hesoonstoodbytheirongateoftheirgarden,andpusheditopen;

theoutlineofthehousesuddenlyappearedsharplybeforehiseyes,andthethincolumnoftheverandahcuttingacrossthepalelylitgraveloftheterrace。Hehesitated。Atthebackofthehousesomeonewasrattlingcans。Heapproachedthefront;thelightontheterraceshowedhimthatthesitting-roomswereonthatside。

Hestoodasnearthelightashecouldbythecornerofthehouse,theleavesofacreeperbrushinghisface。Afteramomenthecouldhearavoice。Thevoicewentonsteadily;itwasnottalking,butfromthecontinuityofthesounditwasavoicereadingaloud。

Hecreptalittlecloser;hecrumpledtheleavestogethersoastostoptheirrustlingabouthisears。ItmightbeRachel’svoice。

Helefttheshadowandsteppedintotheradiusofthelight,andthenheardasentencespokenquitedistinctly。

“Andtherewelivedfromtheyear1860to1895,thehappiestyearsofmyparents’lives,andtherein1862mybrotherMauricewasborn,tothedelightofhisparents,ashewasdestinedtobethedelightofallwhoknewhim。“

Thevoicequickened,andthetonebecameconclusiverisingslightlyinpitch,asifthesewordswereattheendofthechapter。

Hewetdrewbackagainintotheshadow。Therewasalongsilence。

Hecouldjusthearchairsbeingmovedinside。Hehadalmostdecidedtogoback,whensuddenlytwofiguresappearedatthewindow,notsixfeetfromhim。

“ItwasMauriceFielding,ofcourse,thatyourmotherwasengagedto,“

saidHelen’svoice。Shespokereflectively,lookingoutintothedarkgarden,andthinkingevidentlyasmuchofthelookofthenightasofwhatshewassaying。

“Mother?“saidRachel。Hewet’sheartleapt,andhenoticedthefact。

Hervoice,thoughlow,wasfullofsurprise。

“Youdidn’tknowthat?“saidHelen。

“Ineverknewthere’dbeenanyoneelse,“saidRachel。Shewasclearlysurprised,butalltheysaidwassaidlowandinexpressively,becausetheywerespeakingoutintothecooldarknight。

“MorepeoplewereinlovewithherthanwithanyoneI’veeverknown,“

Helenstated。Shehadthatpower——sheenjoyedthings。Shewasn’tbeautiful,but——Iwasthinkingofherlastnightatthedance。

Shegotonwitheverykindofperson,andthenshemadeitallsoamazingly——funny。“

ItappearedthatHelenwasgoingbackintothepast,choosingherwordsdeliberately,comparingTheresawiththepeopleshehadknownsinceTheresadied。

“Idon’tknowhowshedidit,“shecontinued,andceased,andtherewasalongpause,inwhichalittleowlcalledfirsthere,thenthere,asitmovedfromtreetotreeinthegarden。

“That’ssolikeAuntLucyandAuntKatie,“saidRachelatlast。

“Theyalwaysmakeoutthatshewasverysadandverygood。“

“Thenwhy,forgoodness’sake,didtheydonothingbutcriticizeherwhenshewasalive?“saidHelen。Verygentletheirvoicessounded,asiftheyfellthroughthewavesofthesea。

“IfIweretodieto-morrow……“shebegan。

ThebrokensentenceshadanextraordinarybeautyanddetachmentinHewet’sears,andak

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