下载辰思小说免费APP
VIRAG(Notunpleasantly。)Absolutely！Wellobservedandthosepannierpocketsoftheskirtandslightlypegtopeffectaredevisedtosuggestbunchinessofhip。Anewpurchaseatsomemonstersaleforwhichagullhasbeenmulcted。Meretriciousfinerytodeceivetheeye。Observetheattentiontodetailsofdustspecks。Neverputonyoutomorrowwhatyoucanweartoday。Parallax！(Withanervoustwitchofhishead。)Didyouhearmybraingosnap？Pollysyllabax！
BLOOM(Anelbowrestinginahand，aforefingeragainsthischeek。)Sheseemssad。
VIRAG(Cynically，hisweaselteethbaredyellow，drawsdownhislefteyewithafingerandbarkshoarsely。)Hoax！Bewareoftheflapperandbogusmournful。Lilyofthealley。Allpossessbachelor’sbuttondiscoveredbyRualdusColombus。Tumbleher。Columbleher。Chameleon。(Moregenially。)Wellthen，permitmetodrawyourattentiontoitemnumberthree。Thereisplentyofhervisibletothenakedeye。Observethemassofoxygenatedvegetablematteronherskull。Whatho，shebumps！Theuglyducklingoftheparty，longcastedanddeepinkeel。
BLOOM(Regretfully。)Whenyoucomeoutwithoutyourgun。
VIRAGWecandoyouallbrands，mild，mediumandstrong。Payyourmoney，takeyourchoice。Howhappycouldyoubewitheither……
BLOOMWith？……
VIRAG(Histongueupcurling。)Lyum！Look。Herbeamisbroad。Sheiscoatedwithquiteaconsiderablelayeroffat。Obviouslymammalinweightofbosomyouremarkthatshehasinfrontwelltotheforetwoprotuberancesofveryrespectabledimensions，inclinedtofallinthenoondaysoupplate，whileonherrerelowerdownaretwoadditionalprotuberances，suggestiveofpotentrectumandtumescentforpalpationwhichleavenothingtobedesiredsavecompactness。Suchfleshypartsaretheproductofcarefulnurture。Whencoopfattenedtheirliversreachanelephantinesize。Pelletsofnewbreadwithfennygreekandgumbenjaminswampeddownbypotionsofgreenteaendowthemduringtheirbriefexistencewithnaturalpincushionsofquitecolossalblubber。Thatsuitsyourbook，eh？FleshhotpotsofEgypttohankerafter。Wallowinit。Lycopodium。(Histhroattwitches。)Slapbang！Therehegoesagain。
BLOOMThestyeIdislike。
VIRAG(Archeshiseyebrows。)Contactwithagoldring，theysay。Argumentumadfeminam，aswesaidinoldRomeandancientGreeceintheconsulshipofDiplodocusandIchthyosaurus。FortherestEve’ssovereignremedy。Notforsale。Hireonly。Huguenot。(Hetwitches。)Itisafunnysound。
(Hecoughsencouragingly。)Butpossiblyitisonlyawart。IpresumeyoushallhaverememberedwhatIwillhavetaughtyouonthathead？Wheatenmealwithhoneyandnutmeg。
BLOOM(Reflecting。)Wheatenmealwithlycopodiumandsyllabax。Thissearchingordeal。Ithasbeenanunusuallyfatiguingday，achapterofaccidents。Wait。Imean，wartsbloodspreadswarts，yousaid。
VIRAG(Severely，hisnosehardhumped，hissideeyewinking。)Stoptwirlingyourthumbsandhaveagoodoldthunk。See，youhaveforgotten。Exerciseyourmnemotechnic。Lacausaèsanta。Tara。Tara。(Aside。)Hewillsurelyremember。
BLOOMRosemaryalsodidIunderstandyoutosayorwillpoweroverparasitictissues。ThennaynoIhaveaninkling。Thetouchofadeadhandcures。Mnemo？
VIRAG(Excitedly。)Isayso。Isayso。E’enso。Technic。(Hetapshisparchmentrollenergetically。)Thisbooktellsyouhowtoactwithalldescriptiveparticulars。Consultindexforagitatedfearofaconite，melancholyofmuriatic，priapicpulsatilla。Viragisgoingtotalkaboutamputation。Ouroldfriendcaustic。Theymustbestarved。Snipoffwithhorsehairunderthedennedneck。But，tochangethevenuetotheBulgarandtheBasque，haveyoumadeupyourmindwhetheryoulikeordislikewomeninmalehabiliments？(Withadrysnigger。)Youintendedtodevoteanentireyeartothestudyofthereligiousproblemandthesummermonthsof1882tosquarethecircleandwinthatmillion。Pomegranate！Fromthesublimetotheridiculousisbutastep。Pyjamas，letussay？Orstockingettegussetedknickers，closed？Or，putwethecase，thosecomplicatedcombinations，camiknickers？(Hecrowsderisively。)Keekeereekee！
(Bloomsurveysuncertainlythethreewhores，thengazesattheveiledmauvelight，hearingtheeverflyingmoth。)
BLOOMIwantedthentohavenowconcluded。Nightdresswasnever。Hencethis。Buttomorrowisanewdaywillbe。Pastwasistoday。Whatnowiswillthentomorrowasnowwasbepastyester。
VIRAG(Promptsintohisearinapig’swhisper。)Insectsofthedayspendtheirbriefexistenceinreiteratedcoition，luredbythesmelloftheinferiorlypulchritudinousfemalepossessingextendifiedpudendalverveindorsalregion。PrettyPoll！(Hisyellowparrotbeakgabblesnasally。)TheyhadaproverbintheCarpathiansinorabouttheyearfivethousandfivehundredandfiftyofourera。OnetablespoonfulofhoneywillattractfriendBruinmorethanhalfadozenbarrelsoffirstchoicemaltvinegar。Bear’sbuzzbothersbees。Butofthisapart。Atanothertimewemayresume。Wewereverypleased，weothers。(Hecoughsand，bendinghisbrow，rubshisnosethoughtfullywithascoopinghand。)Youshallfindthatthesenightinsectsfollowthelight。Anillusionforremembertheircomplexunadjustableeye。ForalltheseknottypointsseetheseventeenthbookofmyFundamentalsofSexologyortheLovePassionwhichDoctorL。B。saysisthebooksensationoftheyear。Some，toexample，thereareagainwhosemovementsareautomatic。Perceive。Thatishisappropriatesun。Nightbirdnightsunnighttown。Chaseme，Charley！Buzz！
BLOOMBeeorbluebottletoootherdaybuttingshadowonwalldazedselfthenmewandereddazeddownshirtgoodjobI……
VIRAG(Hisfaceimpassive，laughsinarichfemininekey。)Splendid！Spanishflyinhisflyormustardplasteronhisdibble。(Hegobblesgluttonouslywithturkeywattles。)Bubblyjock！Bubblyjock！Wherearewe？OpenSesame！Comethforth！(Heunrollshisparchmentrapidlyandreads，hisglowworm’snoserunningbackwardsovertheletterswhichheclaws。)Stay，goodfriend。IbringtheethyanswerRedbankoysterswillshortlybeuponus。I’mthebesto’cook。ThosesucculentbivalvesmayhelpusandthetrufflesofPerigord，tubersdislodgedthroughmisteromnivorousporker，wereunsurpassedincasesofnervousdebilityorviragitis。Thoughtheystinkyettheysting。(Hewagsheadwithcacklingraillery。)Jocular。Withmyeyeglassinmyocular。
BLOOM(Absently。)Ocularlywoman’sbivalvecaseisworse。Alwaysopensesame。Theclovensex。Whytheyfearvermin，creepingthings。YetEveandtheserpentcontradict。Notahistoricalfact。Obviousanalogytomyidea。Serpentstooaregluttonsforwoman’smilk。Windtheirwaythroughmilesofomnivorousforesttosucksucculentherbreastdry。LikethosebubblyjocularRomanmatronsonereadsofinElephantuliasis。
VIRAG(Hismouthprojectedinhardwrinkles，eyesstonilyforlornlyclosed，psalmsinoutlandishmonotone。)Thatthecowswiththeirthosedistendeduddersthattheyhavebeentheknown……
BLOOMIamgoingtoscream。Ibegyourpardon。Ah？So。(Herepeats。)Spontaneouslytoseekoutthesaurian’slairinordertoentrusttheirteatstohisavidsuction。Antmilksaphis。(Profoundly。)Instinctrulestheworld。Inlife。Indeath。
VIRAG(Headaskew，archeshisbackandhunchedwing-shoulders，peersatthemothoutofblearbulgedeyes，pointsahomingclawandcries。)Who’sGerGer？Who’sdearGerald？O，Imuchfearheshallbemostbadlyburned。Willsomepleashepershonnotnowimpedimentsocatastrophicsmitagitationoffirstclasstablenumpkin？(Hemews。)Lusspusspusspuss！(Hesighs，drawsbackandstaressidewaysdownwithdroppingunderjaw。)Well，well。Hedothrestanon。
I’matinytinything
Everflyinginthespring
Roundandroundaringaring。
LongagoIwasaking，
NowIdothiskindofthing
Onthewing，onthewing！
Bing！
(Herushesagainstthemauveshadeflappingnoisily。)Prettyprettyprettyprettyprettyprettypetticoats。
(FromleftupperentrancewithtwoslidingstepsHenryFlowercomesforwardtoleftfrontcentre。Hewearsadarkmantleanddroopingplumedsombrero。HecarriesasilverstringedinlaiddulcimerandalongstemmedbambooJacobspipe，itsclaybowlfashionedasafemalehead。Hewearsdarkvelvethoseandsilverbuckledpumps。HehastheromanticSaviour’sfacewithflowinglocks，thinbeardandmoustache。HisspindlelegsandsparrowfeetarethoseofthetenorMario，princeofCandia。Hesettlesdownhisgofferedruffsandmoistenshislipswithapassageofhisamoroustongue。)
HENRY(Inalowdulcetvoice，touchingthestringsofhisguitar。)Thereisaflowerthatbloometh。
(Viragtruculent，hisjowlset，staresatthelamp。GraveBloomregardsZoe’sneck。Henrygallantturnswithpendentdewlaptothepiano。)
STEPHEN(Tohimself。)Playwithyoureyesshut。Imitatepa。Fillingmybellywithhusksofswine。Toomuchofthis。Iwillariseandgotomy。Expectthisisthe。Steve，thouartinaparlousway。MustvisitoldDeasyortelegraph。Ourinterviewofthismorninghasleftonmeadeepimpression。Thoughourages。Willwritefullytomorrow。I’mpartiallydrunk，bytheway。(Hetouchesthekeysagain。)Minorchordcomesnow。Yes。Notmuchhowever。
(AlmidanoArtifoniholdsoutabatonrollofmusicwithvigorousmoustachework。)
ARTIFONICirifletta。Leirovinatutto。
FLORRYSingussomething。Love’soldsweetsong。
STEPHENNovoice。Iamamostfinishedartist。Lynch，didIshowyoutheletteraboutthelute？
FLORRY(Smirking。)Thebirdthatcansingandwon’tsing。
(TheSiamesetwins，PhilipDrunkandPhilipSobertwoOxforddonswithlawnmowers，appearinthewindowembrasure。BotharemaskedwithMatthewArnold’sface。)
PHILIPSOBERTakeafool’sadvice。Allisnotwell。Workitoutwiththebuttendofapencil，likeagoodyoungidiot。Threepoundstwelveyougot，twonotes，onesovereign，twocrowns，ifyouthbutknew。Mooney’senville，Mooney’ssurmer，theMoira，Larchet’s，Hollesstreethospital，Burke’s。Eh？Iamwatchingyou。
PHILIPDRUNK(Impatiently。)Ah，bosh，man。Gotohell！Ipaidmyway。IfIcouldonlyfindoutaboutoctaves。Reduplicationofpersonality。Whowasittoldmehisname？
(Hislawnmowerbeginstopurr。)Aha，yes。Zoemousasagapo。HaveanotionIwasherebefore。WhenwasitnotAtkinsonhiscardIhavesomewhere？Macsomebody。UnmackIhaveit。Hetoldmeabout，holdon，Swinburne，wasit，no？
FLORRYAndthesong？
STEPHENSpiritiswillingbutthefleshisweak。
FLORRYAreyououtofMaynooth？You’relikesomeoneIknewonce。
STEPHENOutofitnow。(Tohimself。)Clever。
PHILIPDRUNKANDPHILIPSOBER(Theirlawnmowerspurringwitharigadoonofgrasshalms。)Cleverever。Outofit。Outofit。Bythebyhaveyouthebook，thething，theashplant？Yes，thereit，yes。Clevereveroutofitnow。Keepincondition。Dolikeus。
ZOETherewasapriestdownheretwonightsagotodohisbitofbusinesswithhiscoatbuttonedup。Youneedn’ttrytohide，Isaystohim。Iknowyou’veaRomancollar。
VIRAGPerfectlylogicalfromhisstandpoint。Fallofman。(Harshly，hispupilswaxing。)Tohellwiththepope！Nothingnewunderthesun。IamtheViragwhodisclosedthesexsecretsofmonksandmaidens。WhyIlefttheChurchofRome。ReadthePriest，theWomanandtheConfessional。Penrose。FlippertyJippert。(Hewriggles。)Woman，undoingwithsweetpudorherbeltofrushrope，offersherallmoistyonitoman’slingam。Shorttimeaftermanpresentswomanwithpiecesofjunglemeat。Womanshowsjoyandcoversherselfwithfeatherskins。Manlovesheryonifiercelywithbiglingam，thestiffone。(Hecries。)Coactusvolui。Thengiddywomanwillrunabout。Strongmangraspswoman’swrist。Womansqueals，bites，spucks。Man，nowfierceangry，strikeswoman’sfatyadgana。(Hechaseshistail。)Piffpaff！Popo！(Hestops，sneezes。)Pchp！(Heworrieshisbutt。)Prrrrrht！
LYNCHIhopeyougavethegoodfatherapenance。Ninegloriasforshootingabishop。
ZOE(Spoutswalrussmokethroughhernostrils。)Hecouldn’tgetaconnection。Only，youknow，sensation。Adryrush。
BLOOMPoorman！
ZOE(Lightly。)Onlyforwhathappenedhim。
BLOOMHow？
VIRAG(Adiabolicrictusofblackluminositycontractinghisvisage，craneshisscraggyneckforward。Heliftsamooncalfnozzleandhowls。)VerfluchteGoim！Hehadafather，fortyfathers。Heneverexisted。PigGod！Hehadtwoleftfeet。HewasJudasIacchias，aLibyaneunuch，thepope’sbastard。(Heleansoutontorturedforepaws，elbowsbentrigid，hiseyeagonisinginhisflatskullneckandyelpsoverthemuteworld。)Asonofawhore。Apocalypse。
KITTYAndMaryShortallthatwasinthelockwiththepoxshegotfromJimmyPidgeoninthebluecapshadachildoffhimthatcouldn’tswallowandwassmotheredwiththeconvulsionsinthemattressandweallsubscribedforthefuneral。
PHILIPDRUNK(Gravely。)Quivousamisdanscettefichueposition，Philippe？
PHILIPSOBER(Gaily。)C’étaitlesacrépigeon，Philippe。
(Kittyunpinsherhatandsetsitdowncalmly，pattingherhennahair。Andaprettier，adaintierheadofwinsomecurlswasneverseenonawhoresshoulders。Lynchputsonherhat。Shewhipsitoff。)
LYNCH(Laughs。)AndtosuchdelightshasMetchnikoffinoculatedanthropoidapes。
FLORRY(Nods。)Locomotorataxy。
ZOE(Gaily。)O，mydictionary。
LYNCHThreewisevirgins。
VIRAG(Agueshaken，profuseyellowspawnfoamingoverhisbonyepilepticlips。)Shesoldlovephiltres，whitewax，orangeflower。Panther，theRomancenturion，pollutedherwithhisgenitories。(Hesticksoutaflickeringphosphorescentscorpiontongue，hishandonhisfork。)Messiah！Hebursthertympanum。(Withgibberingbaboon’scrieshejerkshishipsinthecynicalspasm。)Hik！Hek！Hak！Hok！Huk！Kok！Kuk！
(BenJumboDollard，rubicund，musclebound，hairynostrilled，hugebearded，cabbageeared，shaggychested，shockmaned，fatpapped，standsforth，hisloinsandgenitalstightenedintoapairofblackbathingbagslops。)
BENPOLLARD(Nakkeringcastanetbonesinhishugepaddedpaws，yodelsjoviallyinbasebarreltone。)Whenloveabsorbsmyardentsoul。
(Thevirgins，NurseCallanandNurseQuigley，burstthroughtheringkeepersandtheropesandmobhimwithopenarms。)
THEVIRGINS(Gushingly。)BigBen！BenMacChree！
AVOICEHoldthatfellowwiththebadbreeches。
BENDOLLARD(Smiteshisthighinabundantlaughter。)Holdhimnow。
HENRY(Caressingonhisbreastaseveredfemalehead，murmurs。)Thineheart，minelove。(Hepluckshislutestrings。)WhenfirstIsaw。
VIRAG(Sloughinghisskins，hismultitudinousplumagemoulting。)Rats！(Heyawns；showingacoalblackthroatandcloseshisjawsbyanupwardpushofhisparchmentroll。)AfterhavingsaidwhichItookmydeparture。Farewell。Faretheewell。Dreck！
(HenryFlowercombshismoustacheandbeardrapidlywithapocketcombandgivesacowslicktohishair。Steeredbyhisrapier，heglidestothedoorhiswildhadslungbehindhim。Viragreachesthedoorintwoungainlystilthops，histailcocked，anddeftlyclapssidewaysonthewallapusyellowflybill，buttingitwithhishead。)
THEFLYBILLK。11。postnobills。Strictlyconfidential。DrHyFranks。
HENRYAllislostnow。
(Viragunscrewshisheadinatriceandholdsitunderhisarm。)
VIRAG’SHEADQuack！
(Exeuntseverally。)
STEPHEN(OverhisshouldertoZoe。)Youwouldhavepreferredthefightingparsonwhofoundedtheprotestanterror。ButbewareAntisthenes，thedogsage，andthelastendofAnusHeresiarchus。Theagonyinthecloset。
LYNCHAlloneandthesameGodtoher。
STEPHEN(Devoutly。)AndSovereignLordofallthings。
FLORRY(ToStephen。)I’msureyouareaspoiledpriest。Oramonk。
LYNCHHeis。ACardinal’sson。
STEPHENCardinalsin。Monksofthescrew。
(HisEminence，SimonStephenCardinalDedalus，PrimateofallIreland，appearsinthedoorway，dressedinredsoutane，sandalsandsocks。Sevendwarfsimianacolytes，alsoinred，cardinalsins，upholdhistrain，peepingunderit。Hewearsabatteredsilkhatsidewaysonhishead。Histhumbsarestuckinhisarmpitsandhispalmsoutspread。Roundhisneckhangsarosaryofcorksendingonhisbreastinacorkscrewcross。Releasinghisthumbs，heinvokesgracefromonhighwithlacewavegesturesandproclaimswithbloatedpomp。)
THECARDINAL
Conservioliescaptured。
Heliesinthelowestdungeon
Withmanaclesandchainsaroundhislimbs
Weighingupwardsofthreetons。
(Helooksatallforamoment，hisrighteyeclosedtight，hisleftcheekpuffedout。Then，unabletorepresshismerriment，herockstoandfro，adsakimbo，andsingswithbroadrollickinghumour。)O，thepoorlittlefellowHi-hi-hi-hi-hislegstheywereyellowHewasplump，fatandheavyandbriskasasnakeButsomebloodysavageTograizehiswhitecabbageHemurderedNellFlaherty’sducklovingdrake。
(Amultitudeofmidgesswarmsoverhisrobe。Hescratcheshimselfwithcrossedarmsathisribs，grimacing，andexclaims。)I’msufferingtheagonyofthedamned。Bythehokyfiddle，thanksbetoJesusthosefunnylittlechapsarenotunanimous。Iftheywerethey’dwalkmeoffthefaceofthebloodyglobe。
(Hisheadaslant，heblessescurtlywithforeandmiddlefingers，impartstheEasterkissanddoubleshufflesoffcomically，swayinghishatfromsidetoside，shrinkingquicklytothesizeofhistrainbearers。Thedwarfacolytes，giggling，peeping，nudging，ogling，Easterkissing，zigzagbehindhim。Hisvoiceisheardmellowfromafar，merciful，male，melodious。)Shallcarrymyhearttothee，Shallcarrymyhearttothee，AndthebreathofthebalmynightShallcarrymyhearttothee。
(Thetrickdoorhandleturns。)
THEDOORHANDLETheeee。
ZOEThedevilisinthatdoor。
(Amaleformpassesdownthecreakingstaircaseandisheardtakingthewaterproofandhatfromtherack。Bloomstartsforwardinvoluntarilyand，halfclosingthedoorashepasses，takesthechocolatefromhispocketandoffersitnervouslytoZoe。)
ZOE(Sniffshishairbriskly。)Hum。Thankyourmotherfortherabbits。I’mveryfondofwhatIlike。
BLOOM(Hearingamalevoiceintalkwiththewhoresonthedoorstep，prickshisears。)Ifitwerehe？After？Orbecausenot？Orthedoubleevent？
ZOE(Tearsopenthesilverfoil。)Fingerswasmadebeforeforks。(Shebreaksoffandnibblesapiece，givesapiecetoKittyRickettsandthenturnskittenishlytoLynch。)NoobjectiontoFrenchlozenges？(Henods。Shetauntshim。)Haveitnoworwaittillyougetit？(Heopenshismouth，hisheadcocked。Shewhirlstheprizeinleftcircle。Hisheadfollows。Shewhirlsitbackinrightcircle。Heeyesher。)Catch。
(Shetossesapiece。Withanadroitsnaphecatchesitandbitesitthroughwithacrack。)
KITTY(Chewing。)TheengineerIwaswithatthebazaardoeshavelovelyones。Fullofthebestliqueurs。Andtheviceroywastherewithhislady。ThegaswehadontheToft’shobbyhorses。I’mgiddystill。
BLOOM(InSvengali’sfurovercoat，withfoldedarmsandNapoleonicforelock，frownsinventriloquialexorcismwithpiercingeagleglancetowardsthedoor。Then，rigid，withleftfootadvanced，hemakesaswiftpasswithimpellingfingersandgivesthesignofpastmaster，drawinghisrightarmdownwardsfromhisleftshoulder。)Go，go，go，Iconjureyou，whoeveryouare。
(Amalecoughandtreadareheardpassingthroughthemistoutside。Bloomsfeaturesrelax。Heplacesahandinhiswaistcoat，posingcalmly。Zoeoffershimchocolate。)
BLOOM(Solemnly。)Thanks。
ZOEDoasyou’rebid。Here。
(Afirmheelclackingisheardonthestairs。)
BLOOM(Takesthechocolate。)Aphrodisiac？ButIthoughtit。Vanillacalmsor？Mnemo。Confusedlightconfusesmemory。Redinfluenceslupus。Coloursaffectwomen’scharacters，anytheyhave。Thisblackmakesmesad。Eatandbemerryfortomorrow。(Heeats。)Influencetastetoo，mauve。ButitissolongsinceI。Seemsnew。Aphro。Thatpriest。Mustcome。Betterlatethannever。TrytrufflesatAndrews。
(Thedooropens。BellaCohen，amassivewhoremistressenters。Sheisdressedinathreequarterivorygown，fringedroundthehemwithtasselledselvedge，andcoolsherselfflirtingablackhornfanlikeMinnieHauckinCarmen。Onherlefthandareweddingandkeeperrings。Hereyesaredeeplycarboned。Shehasasproutingmoustache。Herolivefaceisheavy，slightlysweatedandfullnosed，withorangetaintednostrils。Shehaslacependantberyleardrops。)
BELLAMyword！I’mallofamucksweat。
(Sheglancesaroundheratthecouples。ThenhereyesrestonBloomwithhardinsistence。Herlacefanwinnowswindtowardsherheatedface，neckandembonpoint。Herfalconeyesglitter。)
THEFAN(Flirtingquickly，thenslowly。)Married，Isee。
BLOOMYes……Partly，Ihavemislaid。
THEFAN(Halfopening，thenclosing。)Andthemissusismaster。Petticoatgovernment。
BLOOM(Looksdownwithasheepishgrin。)Thatisso。
THEFAN(Foldingtogether，restsagainsthereardrop。)Haveyouforgottenme？
BLOOMYes。No。
THEFAN(Foldedakimboagainstherwaist。)Ismeherwasyoudreamedbefore？Wasthenshehimyouussinceknew？Amallthemandthesamenowwe？(Bellaapproaches，gentlytappingwiththefan。)
BLOOM(Wincing。)Powerfulbeing。Inmyeyesreadthatslumberwhichwomenlove。
THEFAN(Tapping。)Wehavemet。Youaremine。Itisfate。
BLOOM(Cowed。)Exuberantfemale。EnormouslyIdesiderateyourdomination。Iamexhausted，abandoned，nomoreyoung。Istand，sotospeak，withanunpostedletterbearingtheextraregulationfeebeforethetoolateboxofthegeneralpostofficeofhumanlife。Thedoorandwindowopenatarightanglecauseadraughtofthirtytwofeetpersecondaccordingtothelawoffallingbodies。Ihavefeltthisinstantatwingeofsciaticainmyleftglutearmuscle。Itrunsinourfamily。Poordearpapa，awidower，wasaregularbarometerfromit。Hebelievedinanimalheat。Askinoftabbylinedhiswinterwaistcoat。Neartheend，rememberingkingDavidandtheSunamite，hesharedhisbedwithAthos，faithfulafterdeath。Adog’sspittle，asyouprobably……(Hewinces。)Ah！
RICHIEGOULDING(Bagweighted，passesthedoor。)Mockingiscatch。BestvalueinDub。Fitforaprince’sliverandkidney。
THEFAN(Tapping。)Allthingsend。Bemine。Now。
BLOOM(Undecided。)Allnow？Ishouldnothavepartedwithmytalisman。Rain，exposureatdewfallonthesearocks，apeccadilloatmytimeoflife。Everyphenomenonhasanaturalcause。
THEFAN(Pointsdownwardsslowly。)Youmay。
BLOOM(Looksdownwardsandperceivesherunfastenedbootlace。)Weareobserved。
THEFAN(Pointsdownwardsquickly。)Youmust。
BLOOM(Withdesire，withreluctance。)Icanmakeatrueblackknot。LearnedwhenIservedmytimeandworkedthemailorderlineforKellet’s。Experiencedhand。Everyknotsaysalot。Letme。Incourtesy。Ikneltoncebeforetoday。Ah！
(Bellaraiseshergownslightlyand，steadyingherpose，liftstotheedgeofachairaplumpbuskinedhoofandafullpastern，silksocked。Bloom，stiffleggedageing，bendsoverherhoofandwithgentlefingersdrawsoutandinherlaces。)
BLOOM(Murmurslovingly。)TobeashoefitterinMansfield’swasmylove’syoungdream，thedarlingjoysofsweetbuttonhooking，tolaceupcrisscrossedtokneelengththedressykidfootwearsatinlined，soincrediblysmall，ofClydeRoadladies。EventheirwaxmodelRaymondeIvisiteddailytoadmirehercobwebhoseandstickofrhubarbtoe，asworninParis。
THEHOOFSmellmyhotgoathide。Feelmyroyalweight。
BLOOM(Crosslacing。)Tootight？
THEHOOFIfyoubungle，HandyAndy，I’llkickyourfootballforyou。
BLOOMNottolacethewrongeyeletasIdidthenightofthebazaardance。Badluck。Nookinwrongtacheofher……personyoumentioned。Thatnightshemet……Now！
(Heknotsthelace。Bellaplacesherfootonthefloor。Bloomraiseshishead。Herheavyface，hereyesstrikehiminmid-brow。Hiseyesgrowdull，darkerandpouched，hisnosethickens。)
BLOOM(Mumbles。)Awaitingyourfurtherorders，weremain，gentlemen。
BELLO(Withahardbasiliskstare，inabaritonevoice。)Houndofdishonour！
BLOOM(Infatuated。)Empress！
BELLO(Hisheavycheekchopssagging。)Adoreroftheadulterousrump！
BLOOM(Plaintively。)Hugeness！
BELLODungdevourer！
BLOOM(Withsinewssemiflexed。)Magnificence。
BELLODown！(Hetapsherontheshoulderwithhisfan。)Inclinefeetforward！Slideleftfootonepaceback。Youwillfall。Youarefalling。Onthehandsdown！
BLOOM(Hereyesupturnedinthesignofadmiration，closing。)Truffles！
(Withapiercingepilepticcryshesinksonallfours，grunting，snuffling，rootingathisfeet，thenlies，shammingdeadwitheyesshuttight，tremblingeyelids，boweduponthegroundintheattitudeofmostexcellentmaster。)
BELLO(Withbobbedhairpurplegills，fatmoustacheringsroundhisshavenmouth，inmountaineer’sputtees，greensilverbuttonedcoat，sportskirtandalpinehatwithmoorcock’sfeather，hishandsstuckdeepinhisbreechespockets，placeshisheelonherneckandgrindsitin。)Feelmyentireweight。Bow，bondslave，beforethethroneofyourdespot’sgloriousheels，soglisteningintheirprouderectness。
BLOOM(Enthralled，bleats。)Ipromisenevertodisobey。
BELLO(Laughsloudly。)Holysmoke！Youlittleknowwhat’sinstoreforyou。I’mthetartartosettleyourlittlelotandbreakyouin！I’llbetKentuckycocktailsallroundIshameitoutofyou，oldson。Cheekme，Idareyou。Ifyoudotrembleinanticipationofheeldisciplinetobeinflictedingymcostume。
(Bloomcreepsunderthesofaandpeersoutthroughthefringe。
ZOE(Wideninghersliptoscreenher。)She’snothere。
BLOOM(Closinghereyes。)She’snothere。
FLORRY(Hidingherwithhergown。)Shedidn’tmeanit，MrBello。She’llbegood，sir。
KITTYDon’tbetoohardonher，MrBello。Sureyouwon’t，ma’amsir。
BELLO(Coaxingly。)Come，duckydear。Iwantawordwithyou，darling，justtoadministercorrection。Justalittlehearttohearttalk，sweety。(Bloomputsouthertimidhead。)There’sagoodgirlynow。(Bellograbsherhairviolentlyanddragsherforward。)Ionlywanttocorrectyouforyourowngoodonasoftsafespot。How’sthattenderbehind？O，eversogently，pet。Begintogetready。
BLOOM(Fainting。)Don’ttearmy。
BELLO(Savagely。)Thenosering，thepliers，thebastinado，thehanginghook，theknoutI’llmakeyoukisswhiletheflutesplayliketheNubianslaveofold。You’reinforitthistime。I’llmakeyouremembermeforthebalanceofyournaturallife。(Hisforeheadveinsswollen，hisfacecongested。)IshallsitonyourottomansaddlebackeverymorningaftermythumpinggoodbreakfastofMatterson’sfathamrashersandabottleofGuinness’sporter。(Hebelches。)AndsuckmythumpinggoodStockExchangecigarwhileIreadtheLicensedVictualler’sGazette。VerypossiblyIshallhaveyouslaughteredandskeweredinmystablesandenjoyasliceOfyouwithcrispcracklingfromthebakingtinbastedandbakedlikesuckingpigwithriceandlemonorcurrantsauce。Itwillhurtyou。
(Hetwistsherarm。Bloomsqueaks，turningturtle。)
BLOOMDon’tbecruel，nurse！Don’t！
BELLO(Twisting。)Another！
BLOOM(Screams。)O，it’shellitself！Everynerveinmybodyacheslikemad！
BELLO(Shouts。)Good，bytherumpingjumpinggeneral！That’sthebestbitofnewsIheardthesesixweeks。Here，don’tkeepmewaiting，damnyou。(Heslapsherface。)
BLOOM(Whimpers。)You’reafterhittingme。I’lltell……
BELLOHoldhimdown，girls，tillIsquatonhim。
ZOEYes。Walkonhim！Iwill。
FLORRYIwill。Don’tbegreedy。
KITTYNo，me。Lendhimtome。
(Thebrothelcook，MrsKeogh，wrinkled，greybearded，inagreasybib，men’sgreyandgreensocksandbrogues，flour-smeared，arollingpinstuckwithrawpastryinherbareredarmandhand，appearsatthedoor。)
MRSKEOCH(Ferociously。)CanIhelp？(TheyholdandpinionBloom。)
BELLO(Squats，withagrunt，onBloom’supturnedface，puffingcigar-smoke，nursingafatleg。)IseeKeatingClayiselectedchairmanoftheRichmondAsylumandbythebyGuinness’spreferencesharesareatsixteenthreequarters。CursemeforafoolthatIdidn’tbuythatlotCraigandGardnertoldmeabout。Justmyinfernalluck，curseit。AndthatGoddamnedoutsiderThrowawayattwentytoone。(HequencheshiscigarangrilyonBloom’sear。)Where’sthatGoddamnedcursedashtray？
BLOOM(Goaded，buttocksmothered。)O！O！Monsters！Cruelone！
BELLOAskforthateverytenminutes。Beg，prayforitasyouneverprayedbefore。(Hethrustsoutafiggedfistandfoulcigar。)Here，kissthat。Both。Kiss。(Hethrowsalegastrideand，pressingwithhorseman’sknees，callsinahardvoice。)Geeup！AcockhorsetoBanburycross。I’llridehimfortheEclipsestakes。(Hebendssidewaysandsqueezeshismount’stesticlesroughly，shouting。)Ho！offwepop！I’llnurseyouinproperfashion。(Hehorseridescockhorse，leapinginthesaddle。)Theladygoesapaceapaceandthecoachmangoesatrotatrotandthegentlemangoesagallopagallopagallopagallop。
FLORRY(PullsatBello。)Letmeonhimnow。Youhadenough。Iaskedbeforeyou。
ZOE(PullingatFlorry。)Me。Me。Areyounotfinishedwithhimyet，suckeress？
BLOOM(Stifling。)Can’t。
BELLOWell，I’mnot。Wait。(Heholdsinhisbreath。)Curseit。Here。Thisbung’saboutburst。(Heuncorkshimselfbehind:then，contortinghisfeatures，fartsloudly。)Takethat！(Herecorkshimself)Yes，byJingo，sixteenthreequarters。
BLOOM(Asweatbreakingoutoverhim。)Notman。(Hesniffs。)Woman。
BELLO(Standsup。)Nomoreblowhotandcold。Whatyoulongedforhascometopass。Henceforthyouareunmannedandmineinearnest，athingundertheyoke。Nowforyourpunishmentfrock。Youwillshedyourmalegarments，youunderstand，RubyCohen？anddontheshotsilkluxuriouslyrustlingoverheadandshouldersandquicklytoo。
BLOOM(Shrinks。)Silk，mistresssaid！Ocrinkly！scrapy！MustItip-touchitwithmynails？
BELLO(Pointstohiswhores。)Astheyarenow，sowillyoube，wigged，singed，perfumesprayed，ricepowdered，withsmoothshavenarmpits。Tapemeasurementswillbetakennextyourskin。Youwillbelacedwithcruelforceintovicelikecorsetsofsoftdovecoutille，withwhalebonebusk，tothediamondtrimmedpelvis，theabsoluteoutsideedge，whileyourfigure，plumperthanwhenatlarge，willberestrainedinnettightfrocks，prettytwoouncepetticoatsandfringesandthingsstamped，ofcourse，withmyhouseflag，creationsoflovelylingerieforAliceandnicescentforAlice。Alicewillfeelthepullpull。MarthaandMarywillbealittlechillyatfirstinsuchdelicatethighcasingbutthefrillyflimsinessoflaceroundyourbarekneeswillremindyou……
BLOOM(Achafingsoubrettewithdaubycheeks，mustardhairandlacemalehandsandnose，leeringmouth。)Itriedherthingsononlyonce，asmallprank，inHollesstreet。WhenwewerehardupIwashedthemtosavethelaundrybill。MyownshirtsIturned。Itwasthepurestthrift。
BELLO(Jeers。)Littlejobsthatmakemotherpleased，eh！andshowedoffcoquettishlyinyourdominoatthemirrorbehindclose-drawnblindsyourunskirtedthighsandhegoat’sudders，invariousposesofsurrender，eh？Ho！Ho！Ihavetolaugh！ThatsecondhandblackoperatopshiftandshorttrunklegnaughtiesallsplitupthestitchesatherlastrapethatMrsMiriamDandradesoldyoufromtheShelbourneHotel，eh？
BLOOMMiriam，Black。Demimondaine。
BELLO(Guffaws。)ChristAlmighty，it’stootickling，this！YouwereanicelookingMiriamwhenyouclippedoffyourbackgatehairsandlayswooninginthethingacrossthebedasMrsDandrade，abouttobeviolatedbyLieutenantSmytheSmythe，MrPhilipAugustusBlockwell，M。P。，SignorLaciDaremo，therobusttenor，blueeyedBert，theliftboy，HenryFleuryofGordonBennettfame，Sheridan，thequadroonCr&Aelig；sus，thevarsitywetbobeightfromoldTrinity，Ponto，hersplendidNewfoundlandandBobs，dowagerduchessofManorhamilton。(Heguffawsagain。)Christ，wouldn’titmakeaSiamesecatlaugh？
BLOOM(Herhandsandfeaturesworking。)ItwasGeraldconvertedmetobeatruecorsetloverwhenIwasfemaleimpersonatorintheHighSchoolplayViceVersa。ItwasdearGerald。Hegotthatkink，fascinatedbysister’sstays。NowdearestGeraldusespinkygreasepaintandgildshiseyelids。Cultofthebeautiful。
BELLO(Withwickedglee。)Beautiful！Giveusabreather！Whenyoutookyourseatwithwomanishcare，liftingyourbillowyflounces，onthesmoothwornthrone。
BLOOMScience。Tocomparethevariousjoysweeachenjoy。(Earnestly。)Andreallyit’sbettertheposition……becauseoftenIusedtowet。
BELLO(Sternly。)Noinsubordination。Thesawdustisthereinthecornerforyou。Igaveyoustrictinstructions，didn’tI？Doitstanding，sir！I’llteachyoutobehavelikeajinkleman！IfIcatchatraceonyourswaddles。Aha！BytheassoftheDoransyou’llfindI’mamartinet。Thesinsofyourpastarerisingagainstyou。Many。Hundreds。
THESINSOFTHEPAST(Inamedleyofvoices。)HewentthroughaformofclandestinemarriagewithatleastonewomanintheshadowoftheBlackChurch。UnspeakablemessageshetelephonedmentallytoMissDunnatanaddressind’OlierStreetwhilehepresentedhimselfindecentlytotheinstrumentinthecallbox。Bywordanddeedheencouragedanocturnalstrumpettodepositfecalandothermatterinanunsanitaryouthouseattachedtoemptypremises。Infivepublicconvenienceshewrotepencilledmessagesofferinghisnuptialpartnertoallstrongmemberedmales。Andbytheoffensivelysmellingvitriolworksdidhenotpassnightafternightbylovingcourtingcouplestoseeifandwhatandhowmuchhecouldsee？Didhenotlieinbed，thegrossboar，gloatingoveranauseousfragmentofwellusedtoiletpaperpresentedtohimbyanastyharlot，stimulatedbygingerbreadandapostalorder？
BELLO(Whistlesloudly。)Say！Whatwasthemostrevoltingpieceofobscenityinallyourcareerofcrime？Gothewholehog。Pukeitout。Becandidforonce。
(Muteinhumanfacesthrongforward，leering，vanishing，gibbering，Eooloohoom。PoldyHock，Bootlacesapenny，cassidy’shag，blindstripling，LarryRhinoceros，thegirl，thewoman，thewhore，theotherthe……)
BLOOMDon’taskme。Ourmutualfaith。Pleasantsstreet。Ionlythoughtthehalfofthe……Iswearonmysacredoath……
BELLO(Peremptorily。)Answer。Repugnantwretch！Iinsistonknowing。Tellmesomethingtoamuseme，smutorabloodygood-ghoststoryoralineofpoetry，quick，quick，quick！Where？How？Whattime？Withhowmany？Igiveyoujustthreeseconds。One！Two！Thr……！
BLOOM(Docile，gurgles。)Irererepugnosedinrerererepugnant……
BELLO(Imperiously。)Ogetout，youskunk！Holdyourtongue！Speakwhenyou’respokento。
BLOOM(Bows。)Master！Mistress！Mantamer！
(Heliftshisarms。Hisbanglebraceletsfall。)
BELLO(Satirically。)Bydayyouwillsouseandbatoursmellingunderclothes，alsowhenweladiesareunwell，andswaboutourlatrineswithdresspinnedupandadishclouttiedtoyourtail。Won’tthatbenice？(Heplacesarubyringonherfinger。)Andtherenow！WiththisringItheeown。Say，thankyou，mistress。
BLOOMThankyou，mistress。
BELLOYouwillmakethebeds，getmytubready，emptythepisspotsinthedifferentrooms，includingoldMrsKeogh’sthecook’s，asandyone。Ay，andrinsethesevenofthemwell，mind，orlapituplikechampagne。Drinkmepipinghot。Hop！youwilldanceattendanceorI’lllectureyouonyourmisdeeds，MissRuby，andspankyourbarebotrightwell，miss，withthehairbrush。You’llbetaughttheerrorofyourways。Atnightyourwellcreamedbraceletedhandswillwearfortythreebuttonglovesnewpowderedwithtalcandhavingdelicatelyscentedfingertips。Forsuchfavoursknightsofoldlaiddowntheirlives。(Hechuckles。)Myboyswillbenoendcharmedtoseeyousoladylike，thecolonel，aboveall。Whentheycomeherethenightbeforetheweddingtofondlemynewattractioningildedheels。First，I’llhaveagoatyoumyself。AmanIknowontheturfnamedCharlesAlbertaMarsh(IwasinbedwithhimjustnowandanothergentlemanoutoftheHanaperandPettyBagoffice)isonthelookoutforamaidofallworkatashortknock。Swellthebust。Smile。Droopshoulders。Whatoffers？(Hepoints。)Forthatlottrainedbyownertofetchandcarry，basketinmouth。(HebareshisarmandplungesitelbowdeepinBloom’svulva。)There’sfinedepthforyou！What，boys？Thatgiveyouahardon？(Heshoveshisarminabidder’sface。)Here，wetthedeckandwipeitround！
ABIDDERAflorin！
(Dillon’slacqueyringshishandbell。)
AVOICEOneandeightpencetoomuch。
THELACQUEYBarang！
CHARLESALBERTAMARSHMustbevirgin。Goodbreath。Clean。
BELLO(Givesarapwithhisgavel。)Twobar。Rockbottomfigureandcheapattheprice。Fourteenhandshigh。Touchandexaminehispoints。Handlehim。Thisdownyskin，thesesoftmuscles，thistenderflesh。IfIhadonlymygoldpiercerhere！Andquiteeasytomilk。Threenewlaidgallonsaday。Apurestockgetter，duetolaywithinthehour。Hissire’smilkrecordwasathousandgallonsofwholemilkinfortyweeks。Whoa，myjewel！Begup！Whoa！(HebrandshisinitialConBloom’scroup。)So！WarrantedCohen！Whatadvanceontwobob，gentlemen？
ADARKVISAGEDMAN(Indisguisedaccent。)Hoondertpuntsterlink。
VOICES(Subdued。)FortheCaliphHarounAlRaschid。
BELLO(Gaily。)Right。Letthemallcome。Thescanty，daringlyshortskirt，ridingupatthekneetoshowapeepofwhitepantalette，isapotentweaponandtransparentstockings，emeraldgartered，withthelongstraightseamtrailingupbeyondtheknee，appealtothebetterinstinctsoftheblasémanabouttown。LearnthesmoothmincingwalkonfourinchLouisXVheels，theGrecianbendwithprovokingcroup，thethighsfluescent，kneesmodestlykissing。Bringallyourpoweroffascinationtobearonthem。PandertotheirGomorrahanvices。
BLOOM(Bendshisblushingfaceintohisarmpitandsimperswithforefingerinmouth。)O，Iknowwhatyou’rehintingatnow。
BELLOWhatelseareyougoodfor，animpotentthinglikeyou？(Hestoopsand，peering，pokeswithhisfanrudelyunderthefatsuetfoldsofBloom’shaunches。)Up！Up！Manxcat！Whathavewehere？Where’syourcurlyteapotgonetoorwhodockeditonyou，cockyolly？Sing，birdy，sing。It’saslimpasaboyofsix’sdoinghispoolybehindacart。Buyabucketorsellyourpump。(Loudly。)Canyoudoaman’sjob？
BLOOMEcclesStreet。
BELLO(Sarcastically。)Iwouldn’thurtyourfeelingsfortheworldbutthere’samanofbrawninpossessionthere。Thetablesareturned，mygayyoungfellow！Heissomethinglikeafullgrownoutdoorman。Wellforyou，youmuff，ifyouhadthatweaponwithknobsandlumpsandwartsalloverit。Heshothisbolt，Icantellyou！Foottofoot，kneetoknee，bellytobelly，bubstobreast！He’snoeunuch。Ashockofredhairhehasstickingoutofhimbehindlikeafurzebush！Waitforninemonths，mylad！Holyginger，it’skickingandcoughingupanddowninhergutsalready！Thatmakesyouwild，don’tit？Touchesthespot？(Hespitsincontempt。)Spittoon！
BLOOMIwasindecentlytreated，I……informthepolice。Hundredpounds。Unmentionable。I。
BELLOWouldifyoucould，lameduck。Adownpourwewant，notyourdrizzle。
BLOOMTodrivememad！Moll！Iforgot！Forgive！Moll！……We……Still……
BELLO(Ruthlessly。)No，LeopoldBloom，allischangedbywoman’swillsinceyouslepthorizontalinSleepyHollowyournightoftwentyyears。Returnandsee。
(OldSleepyHollowcallsoverthewold。)
SLEEPYHOLLOWRipVanWinkle！RipVanWinkle！
BLOOM(Intatteredmoccasinswitharustyfowlingpiece，tiptoeing，fingertipping，hishaggardbonybeardedfacepeeringthroughthediamondpanes，criesout。)Iseeher！It’sshe！ThefirstnightatMatDillon’s！Butthatdress，thegreen！Andherhairisdyedgoldandhe。
BELLO(Laughsmockingly。)That’syourdaughter，youowl，withaMullingarstudent。
(MillyBloom，fairhaired，greenvested，slimsandalled，herbluescabintheseawindsimplyswirling，breaksfromthearmsofherloverandcalls，heryoungeyeswonderwide。)
MILLYMy！It’sPapli！But。OPapli，howoldyou’vegrown！
BELLOChanged，eh？Ourwhatnot，ourwritingtablewhereweneverwrote，AuntHegarty’sarmchair，ourclassicreprintsofoldmasters。Amanandhismenfriendsarelivingthereinclover。TheCuckoos’Rest！Whynot？Howmanywomenhadyou，say？Followingthemupdarkstreets，flatfoot，excitingthembyyoursmotheredgrunts。What，youmaleprostitute？Blamelessdameswithparcelsofgroceries。Turnabout。Sauceforthegoose，mygander，O。
BLOOMThey……I
BELLO(Cuttingly。)TheirheelmarkswillstamptheBrusselettecarpetyouboughtatWren’sauction。IntheirhorseplaywithMolltheromptofindthebuckfleainherbreechestheywilldefacethelittlestatueyoucarriedhomeintherainforartforart’ssake。Theywillviolatethesecretsofyourbottomdrawer。Pageswillbetornfromyourhandbookofastronomytomakethempipespills。AndtheywillspitinyourtenshillingbrassfenderfromHamptonLeedom’s。
BLOOMTenandsix。Theactoflowscoundrels。Letmego。Iwillreturn。Iwillprove……
AVOICESwear！
(Bloomclencheshisfistsandcrawlsforward，abowieknifebetweenhisteeth。)
BELLOAsapayingguestorakeptman？Toolate。Youhavemadeyoursecondbestbedandothersmustlieinit。Yourepitaphiswritten。Youaredownandoutanddon’tyouforgetit，oldbean。
BLOOMJustice！AllIrelandversusone！Hasnobody……？
(Hebiteshisthumb。)
BELLODieandbedamnedtoyouifyouhaveanysenseofdecencyorgraceaboutyou。Icangiveyouarareoldwinethat’llsendyouskippingtohellandback。Signawillandleaveusanycoinyouhave。Ifyouhavenoneseeyoudamnwellgetit，stealit，robit！We’llburyyouinourshrubberyjakeswhereyou’llbedeadanddirtywitholdCuckCohen，mystepnephewImarried，thebloodyoldgoutyprocuratorandsodomitewithacrickinhisneck，andmyothertenorelevenhusbands，whateverthebuggers’nameswere，suffocatedintheonecesspool。(Heexplodesinaloudphlegmylaugh。)We’llmanureyou，MrFlower！(Hepipesscoffingly。)Byby，Poldy！Byby，Papli！
BLOOM(Claspshishead。)Mywillpower！Memory！Ihavesinned！Ihavesuff……(Heweepstearlessly。)
BELLO(Sneers。)Crybabby！Crocodiletears！
(Bloom，broken，closelyveiledforthesacrifice，sobs，hisfacetotheearth。Thepassingbellisheard。Darkshawledfiguresofthecircumcised，insackclothandashes，standbythewailingwall。M。Shulomowitz，JosephGoldwaterMosesHerzog，HarrisRosenberg，M。Moisel，J。Citron，MinnieWatchman，0。Mastiansky，theReverendLeopoldAbramovitz，Chazen。WithswayingarmstheywailinpneumaovertherecreantBloom。)
THECIRCUMCISED(Inadarkgutturalchantastheycastdeadseafruituponhim，noflowers。)ShemaIsraelAdonaiElohenuAdonaiEchad。
VOICES(Sighing。)Sohe’sgone。Ah，yes。Yes，indeed。Bloom？Neverheardofhim。No？Queerkindofchap。There’sthewidow。Thatso？Ah，yes。
(Fromthesutteepyretheflameofgumcamphireascends。Thepallofincensesmokescreensanddisperses。Outofheroakframeanymphwithhairunbound，lightlycladinteabrownartcolours，descendsfromhergrottoandpassingunderinterlacingyews，standsoverBloom。)
THEYEWS(Theirleaveswhispering。)Sister。Oursister。Ssh。
THENYMPH(Softly。)Mortal！(Kindly。)Nay，dostnotweepest！
BLOOM(Crawlsjellilyforwardundertheboughs，streakedbysunlight，withdignity。)Thisposition。Ifeltitwasexpectedofme。Forceofhabit。
THENYMPHMortal！Youfoundmeinevilcompany，highkickers，costerpicnicmakers，pugilists，populargenerals，immoralpantoboysinfleshtightsandtheniftyshimmydancers，LaAuroraandKarini，musicalact，thehitofthecentury。Iwashiddenincheappinkpaperthatsmeltofrockoil。Iwassurroundedbythestalesmutofclubmen，storiestodisturbcallowyouth，adsfortransparencies，truedupdiceandbustpads，proprietaryarticlesandwhywearatrusswithtestimonialfromrupturedgentleman。Usefulhintstothemarried。
BLOOM(Liftsaturtleheadtowardsherlap。)Wehavemetbefore。Onanotherstar。
THENYMPH(Sadly。)Rubbergoods。Neverrip。Brandassuppliedtothearistocracy。Corsetsformen。Icurefitsormoneyrefunded。UnsolicitedtestimonialsforProfessorWaldmann’swonderfulchestexuber。Mybustdevelopedfourinchesinthreeweeks，reportsMrsGusRublinwithphoto。
BLOOMYoumeanPhotoBits？
THENYMPHIdo。Youboremeaway，framedmeinoakandtinsel，setmeaboveyourmarriagecouch。Unseen，onesummereve，youkissedmeinfourplaces。Andwithlovingpencilyoushadedmyeyes，mybosomandmyshame。
BLOOM(Humblykissesherlonghair。)Yourclassiccurves，beautifulimmortal。Iwasgladtolookonyou，topraiseyou，athingofbeauty，almosttopray。
THENYMPHDuringdarknightsIheardyourpraise。
BLOOM(Quickly。)Yes，yes。YoumeanthatI……Sleeprevealstheworstsideofeveryone，childrenperhapsexcepted。IknowIfelloutofmybedorratherwaspushed。Steelwineissaidtocuresnoring。FortherestthereisthatEnglishinvention，pamphletofwhichIreceivedsomedaysago，incorrectlyaddressed。Itclaimstoaffordanoiselessinoffensivevent。(Hesighs。)’Twaseverthus。Frailty，thynameismarriage。
THENYMPH(Herfingersinherears。)Andwords。Theyarenotinmydictionary。
BLOOMYouunderstoodthem？
THEYEWSSsh。
THENYMPH(Coversherfacewithherhand。)WhathaveInotseeninthatchamber？Whatmustmyeyeslookdownon？
BLOOM(Apologetically。)Iknow。Soiledpersonallinen，wrongsideupwithcare。Thequoitsareloose。FromGibraltarbylongsea，longago。
THENYMPH(Bendsherhead。)Worse！Worse！
BLOOM(Reflectsprecautiously。)Thatantiquatedcommode。Itwasn’therweight。Shescaledjustelevenstonenine。Sheputonninepoundsafterweaning。Itwasacrackandwantofglue。Eh？Andthatabsurdorangekeyedutensilwhichhasonlyonehandle。
(Thesoundofawaterfallisheardinbrightcascade。)
THEWATERFALL
PoulaphoucaPoulaphouca
PoulaphoucaPoulaphouca。
THEYEWS(Minglingtheirboughs。)Listen。Whisper。Sheisright，oursister。WegrewbyPoulaphoucawaterfall。Wegaveshadeonlanguoroussummerdays。
JOHNWYSENOLAN(Inthebackground，inIrishNationalForester’suniform，doffshisplumedhat。)Prosper！Giveshadeonlanguorousdays，treesofIreland！
THEYEWS(Murmuring。)WhocametoPoulaphoucawiththehighschoolexcursion？Wholefthisnutquestingclassmatestoseekourshade？
BLOOM(Pigeonbreasted，bottleshouldered，padded，innondescriptjuvenilegreyandblackstripedsuit，toosmallforhim，whitetennisshoes，borderedstockingswithturnovertops，andaredschoolcapwithbadge。)Iwasinmyteens，agrowingboy。Alittlethensufficed，ajoltingcar，theminglingodoursoftheladies’cloakroomandlavatory，thethrongpennedtightontheoldRoyalstairs，fortheylovecrushes，instinctsoftheherd，andthedarksexsmellingtheatreunbridlesvice。Evenapricelistoftheirhosiery。Andthentheheat。Thereweresunspotsthatsummer。Endofschool。Andtipsycake。Halcyondays。
(HalcyonDays，highschoolboysinblueandwhitefootballjerseysandshorts，MasterDonaldTurnbull，MasterAbrahamChatterton，MasterOwenGoldberg，MasterJackMeredith，MasterPercyApjohn，standinaclearingofthetreesandshouttoMasterLeopoldBloom。)
THEHALCYONDAYSMackerel！Liveusagain。Hurray！
(Theycheer。)
BLOOM(Hobbledehoy，warmgloved，mammamufflered，stunnedwithspentsnowballs，strugglestorise。)Again！Ifeelsixteen！Whatalark！Let’sringallthebellsinMontagueStreet。(Hecheersfeebly。)HurrayfortheHighSchool！
THEECHOFool！
THEYEWS(Rustling。)Sheisright，oursister。Whisper。(Whisperedkissesareheardinallthewood。Facesofhamadryadspeepoutfromthebolesandamongtheleavesandbreakblossomingintobloom。)Whoprofanedoursilentshade？
THENYMPH(Coylythroughpartingfingers。)There！Intheopenair？
THEYEWS(Sweepingdownward。)Sister，yes。Andonourvirginsward。
THEWATERFALL
PoulaphoucaPoulaphouca
PhoucaphoucaPhoucaphouca。
THENYMPH(Withwidefingers。)O！Infamy！
BLOOMIwasprecocious。Youth。Thefauns。Isacrificedtothegodoftheforest。Theflowersthatbloominthespring。Itwaspairingtime。Capillaryattractionisanaturalphenomenon。LottyClarke，flaxenhaired，Isawathernighttoilettethroughill-closedcurtains，withpoorpapa’soperaglasses。Thewantonategrasswildly。SherolleddownhillatRialtoBridgetotemptmewithherflowofanimalspirits。SheclimbedtheircrookedtreeandI……Asaintcouldn’tresistit。Thedemonpossessedme。Besides，whosaw？
(StaggeringBob，awhitepolledcalfthrustsaruminatingheadwithhumidnostrilsthroughthefoliage。)
STAGGERINGBOBMe。Mesee。
BLOOMSimplysatisfyinganeed。(Withpathos。)NogirlwouldwhenIwentgirling。Toougly。Theywouldn’tplay。
(HighonBenHowththroughrhododendronsanannygoatpasses，plumpuddered，buttytailed，droppingcurvants。)
THENANNYGOAT(Bleats。)Megegaggegg！Nannannanny！
BLOOM(Hatless，flushed，coveredwithburnofthistledownandgotrepine。)Regularlyengaged。Circumstancesaltercases。(Hegazesintentlydownwardsonthewater。)Thirtytwoheadoverheelspersecond。Pressnightmare。GiddyElijah。Fallfromcliff。Sadendofgovernmentprinter’sclerk。(ThroughsilversilentsummerairthedummyofBloom，rolledinamummy，rollsrotatinglyfromtheLion’sHeadcliffintothepurpleWaitingwaters。)
THEDUMMYMUMMYBbbbblllllbbblblodschbg？
(FaroutinthebaybetweenBaileyandKishlightstheErin’sKingsails，sendingabroadeningplumeofcoalsmokefromherfunneltowardstheland。)
COUNCILLORNANNETI(Aloneondeck，indarkalpaca，yellowkitefaced，hishandinhiswaistcoatopening，declaims。)Whenmycountrytakesherplaceamongthenationsoftheearth，then，andnottillthenletmyepitaphbewritten。Ihave……
BLOOMDone。Prff。
THENYMPH(Loftily。)Weimmortals，asyousawtoday，havenotsuchaplaceandnohairthereeither。Wearestonecoldandpure。Weeatelectriclight。(Shearchesherbodyinlasciviouscrispation，placingherforefingerinhermouth。)Spoketome。Heardfrombehind。Howthencouldyou……？
BLOOM(Pacingtheheatherabjectly。)O，Ihavebeenaperfectpig。EnemastooIhaveadministered。Onethirdofapintofquassia，towhichaddatablespoonfulofrocksalt。Upthefundament。WithHamiltonLong’ssyringe，theladies’friend。
THENYMPHInmypresence。Thepowderpuff。(Sheblushesandmakesaknee。)Andtherest。
BLOOM(Dejected。)Yes。Peccavi！Ihavepaidhomageonthatlivingaltarwherethebackchangesname。(Withsuddenfervour。)Forwhyshouldthedaintyscentedjewelledhand，thehandthatrules……？
(Figureswindserpentinginslowwoodlandpatternaroundthetreestems，cooeeing。)
THEVOICEOFKITTY(Inthethicket。)Showusoneofthemcushions。
THEVOICEOFFLORRYHere。
(Agrousewingsclumsilythroughtheunderwood。)
THEVOICEOFLYNCH(Inthethicket。)Whew！Pipinghot！
THEVOICEOFZOE(Fromthethicket。)Camefromahotplace。
THEVOICEOFVIRAG(Abirdchiefbluestreakedandfeatheredinwarpanoplywithhisassegai，stridingthroughacracklingcanebrakeoverbeechmastandacorns。)Hot！Hot！WareSittingBull！
BLOOMItoverpowersme。Thewarmimpressofherwarmform。Eventositwhereawomanhassat，especiallywithdivaricatedthighs，asthoughtograntthelastfavours，mostespeciallywithpreviouslywellupliftedwhitesateencoatpans。Sowomanlyfull。Itfillsmefull。
THEWATERFALL
PhillaphullaPoulaphouca
PoulaphoucaPoulaphouca。
THEYEWSSsh！Sister，speak！
THENYMPH(Eyeless，innun’swhitehabit，coifandhugewingedwimple，softly，withremoteeyes。)Tranquiliaconvent。SisterAgatha。MountCarmel，theapparitionsofKnockandLourdes。Nomoredesire。(Shereclinesherhead，sighing。)Onlytheethereal。Wheredreamycreamygullwaveso’erthewatersdull。
(Bloomhalfrises。Hisbacktrousersbuttonsnaps。)
THEBUTTONBip！
(TwoslutsoftheCoombedancerainilyby，shawled，yellingflatly。)
THESLUTS
OLeopoldlostthepinofhisdrawers
Hedidn’tknowwhattodo，
Tokeepitup，
Tokeepitup。
BLOOM(Coldly。)Youhavebrokenthespell。Thelaststraw。Iftherewereonlyetherealwherewouldyouallbe，postulantsandnovices？Shybutwilling，likeanasspissing。
THEYEWS(Theirsilverfoilofleavesprecipitating，theirskinnyarmsageingandswaying。)Deciduously！
THENYMPHSacrilege！Toattemptmyvirtue！(Alargemoiststainappearsonherrobe。)Sullymyinnocence！Youarenotfittotouchthegarmentofapurewoman。(Sheclutchesinherrobe。)Wait，Satan。You’llsingnomorelovesongs。Amen。Amen。Amen。Amen。(Shedrawsaponiardand，cladinthesheathmailofanelectedknightofnine，strikesathisloins。)Nekum！
BLOOM(Startsup，seizesherhand。)Hoy！Nebrakada！Catofninelives！Fairplay，madam。Nopruningknife。Thefoxandthegrapes，isit？Whatdowelackwithyourbarbedwire？Crucifixnotthickenough？(Heclutchesherveil。)AholyabbotyouwantorBrophy，thelamegardener，orthespoutlessstatueofthewatercarrierorgoodMotherAlphonsus，ehReynard？
THENYMPH(Withacry，fleesfromhimunveiled，herplastercastcracking，acloudofstenchescapingfromthecracks。)Poli……！
BLOOM(Callsafterher。)Asifyoudidn’tgetitonthedoubleyourselves。Nojerksandmultiplemucositiesalloveryou。Itriedit。Yourstrengthourweakness。What’sourstudfee？Whatwillyoupayonthenail？YoufeemendancersontheRiviera，Iread。(Thefleeingnymphraisesakeen。)Eh！Ihavesixteenyearsofblackslavelabourbehindme。Andwouldajurygivemefiveshillingsalimonytomorrow，eh？Foolsomeoneelse，notme。(Hesniffs。)But。Onions。Stale。Sulphur。Grease。
(ThefigureofBellaCohenstandsbeforehim。)
BELLAYou’llknowmethenexttime。
BLOOM(Composed，regardsher。)Passée。Muttondressedaslamb。Loneinthetoothandsuperfluoushairs。Arawonionthelastthingatnightwouldbenefityourcomplexion。Andtakesomedoublechindrill。Youreyesareasvapidastheglasseyesofyourstuffedfox。Theyhavethedimensionsofyourotherfeatures，that’sall。I’mnotatriplescrewpropeller。
BELLA(Contemptuously。)You’renotgame，infact。(Hersowcuntbarks。)Fohracht！
BLOOM(Contemptuously。)Cleanyournaillessmiddlefingerfirst，thecoldspunkofyourbullyisdrippingfromyourcockscomb。Takeahandfulofhayandwipeyourself。
BELLAIknowyou，canvasser！Deadcod！
BLOOMIsawhim，kipkeeper！Poxandgleetvendor！
BELLA(Turnstothepiano。)WhichofyouwasplayingthedeadmarchfromSaul？
ZOEMe。Mindyourcornflowers。(Shedartstothepianoandbangschordsonitwithcrossedarms。)Thecat’sramblethroughtheslag。(Sheglancesback。)Eh？Who’smakinglovetomysweeties？(Shedartsbacktothetable。)What’syoursismineandwhat’smineismyown。
(Kittydisconcertedcoatsherteethwiththesilverpaper。BloomapproachesZoe。)
BLOOM(Gently。)Givemebackthatpotato，willyou？ZoeForfeits，afinethingandasuperfinething。
BLOOM(Withfeeling。)Itisnothing，butstillarelicofpoormamma。
ZOE
Giveathingandtakeitback
God’llaskyouwhereisthat
You’llsayyoudon’tknow
God’llsendyoudownbelow。
BLOOMThereisamemoryattachedtoit。Ishouldliketohaveit。
STEPHENTohaveornottohave，thatisthequestion。
ZOEHere。(Shehaulsupareefofherslip，revealingherbarethighandunrollsthepotatofromthetopofherstocking。)Thosethathidesknowswheretofind。
BELLA(Frowns。)Here。Thisisn’tamusicalpeepshow。Anddon’tyousmashthatpiano。Who’spayinghere？
(Shegoestothepianola。Stephenfumblesinhispocketand，takingoutabanknotebyitscorner，handsittoher。)
STEPHEN(Withexaggeratedpoliteness。)ThissilkenpurseImadeoutofthesow’searofthepublic。Madam，excuseme。Ifyouallowme。(HeindicatesvaguelyLynchandBloom。)Weareallinthesamesweepstake，KinchandLynch。Danscebordeloùtenonsnostreétat。
LYNCH(Callsfromthehearth。)Dedalus！Giveheryourblessingforme。
STEPHEN(HandsBellaacoin。)Gold。Shehasit。
