第16章

BLOOM(Trembling，beginningtoobey。)Theweatherhasbeensowarm。

(DavyStephens，ringleted，passeswithabevyofbarefootnewsboys。)

DAVYSTEPHENSMessengeroftheSacredHeartandEveningTelegraphwithSaintPatrick’sDaySupplement。ContainingthenewaddressesofallthecuckoldsinDublin。

(TheveryreverendCanonO’Hanloninclothofgoldcopeelevatesandexposesamarbletimepiece。BeforehimFatherConroyandthereverendJohnHughesS。J。bendlow。)

THETIMEPIECE(Unportalling。)

Cuckoo

Cuckoo

Cuckoo

(Thebrassquoitsofabedareheardtojingle。)

THEQUOITSJigjag，Jigajiga。Jigjag。

(Apaneloffogrollsbackrapidly，revealingrapidlyinthejuryboxthefacesofMartinCunningham，foremansilkhatted，JackPowerSimonDedalus，TomKernan，NedLambert，JohnHenryMenton，MylesCrawford，Lenehan，PaddyLeonardNoseyFlynn，M’CoyandthefeaturelessfaceofaNamelessOne。)

THENAMELESSONEBarebackriding。Weightforage。Gob，heorganisedher。

THEJURORS(Alltheirheadsturnedtohisvoice。)Really？

THENAMELESSONE(Snarls。)Arseovertip。Hundredshillingstofive。

THEJURORS(Alltheirheadsloweredinassent。)Mostofusthoughtasmuch。

FIRSTWATCHHeisamarkedman。Anothergirl’splaitcut。Wanted:JacktheRipper。Athousandpoundsreward。

SECONDWATCH(Awed，whispers。)Andinblack。Amormon。Anarchist。

THECRIER(Loudly。)WhereasLeopoldBloomofnofixedabodeisawell-knowndynamitard，forger，bigamist，bawdandcuckoldadapublicnuisancetothecitizensofDublinandwhereasatthiscommissionofassizesthemosthonourable。

(HisHonoursirFrederickFalkinerrecorderofDublin，injudicialgarbofgreystonerisesfromthebench，stonebearded。Hebearsinhisarmsanumbrellasceptre。FromhisforeheadarisestarklytheMosaicramshorns。)

THERECORDERIwillputanendtothiswhiteslavetrafficandridDublinofthisodiouspest。Scandalous！(Hedonstheblackcap。)Lethimbetaken，MrSubsheriff，fromthedockwherehenowstandsanddetainedincustodyinMountjoyprisonduringHisMajesty’spleasureandtherebehangedbytheneckuntilheisdeadandthereinfailnotatyourperilormaytheLordhave-mercyonyoursoul。Removehim。(Ablackskullcapdescendsuponhishead。)

(ThesubsherifflongJohnFanningappears，smokingapungentHenryClay。)

LONGJOHNFANNING(Scowlsandcallswithrichrollingutterance。)Who’llhangJudasIscariot？

(H。Rumbold，masterbarberinabloodcolouredjerkinandtanner’sapron，aropecoiledoverhisshouldermountstheblock。Alifepreserverandanailstuddedbludgeonarestuckinhisbelt。Herubsgrimlyhisgrappinghands，knobbedwithknuckledusters。)

RUMBOLD(Totherecorderwithsinisterfamiliarity。)HangingHarry，yourMajesty，theMerseyterror。Fiveguineasajugular。Neckornothing。

(ThebellsofGeorge’schurchtollslowly，louddarkiron。)

THEBELLSHeigho！Heigho！

BLOOM(Desperately。)Wait。Stop。Gulls。Goodheart。Isaw。Innocence。Girlinthemonkeyhouse。Zoo。Lewdchimpanzees。(Breathlessly。)Pelvicbasin。Herartlessblushunmannedme。(Overcomewithemotion。)Ilefttheprecincts。(Heturnstoafigureinthecrowd，appealing。)Hynes，mayIspeaktoyou？Youknowme。Thatthreeshillingsyoucankeep。Ifyouwantalittlemore。

HYNES(Coldly。)Youareaperfectstranger。

SECONDWATCH(Pointstothecorner。)Thebombishere。FIRSTWATCHInfernalmachinewithatimefuse。BLOOMNo，no。Pig’sfeet。Iwasatafuneral。FIRSTWATCH(Drawshistruncheon。)Liar！

(Thebeagleliftshissnout，showingthegreyscorbuticfaceofPaddyDignam。Hehasgnawedall。Heexhalesaputridcarcasefedbreath。Hegrowstohumansizeandshape。Hisdachshundcoatbecomesabrownmortuaryhabit。Hisgreeneyeflashesbloodshot。Halfofoneearallthenoseandboththumbsareghouleaten。)

PADDYDIGNAM(Inahollowvoice。)Itistrue。Itwasmyfuneral。DoctorFinucanepronouncedlifeextinctwhenIsuccumbedtothediseasefromnaturalcauses。

(Heliftshismutilatedashenfacemoonwardsandbayslugubriously。)

BLOOM(Intriumph。)Youhear？

PADDYDIGNAMBloom，IamPaddyDignam’sspirit。List，list，Olist！

BLOOMThevoiceisthevoiceofEsau。

SECONDWATCH(Blesseshimself。)Howisthatpossible？

FIRSTWATCHItisnotinthepennycatechism。

PADDYDIGNAMBymetempsychosis。Spooks。

AVOICEOrocks。

PADDYDIGNAM(Earnestly。)OnceIwasintheemployofMrJ。H。Menton，solicitor，commissionerforoathsandaffidavits，of27Bachelor’sWalk。NowIamdefunct，thewallofthehearthypertrophied。Hardlines。Thepoorwifewasawfullycutup。Dowisshebearingit？Keepheroffthatbottleofsherry。(Helooksroundhim。)Alamp。Imustsatisfyananimalneed。Thatbuttermilkdidn’tagreewithme。

(TheportlyfigureofJohnO’Connell，caretakerstandsforth，holdingabunchofkeystiedwithcrape。BesidehimstandsFatherCoffey，chaplain，toadbellied，wrynecked，inasurpliceandbandannanightcap，holdingsleepilyastaffoftwistedpoppies。)

FATHERCOFFEY(Yawns，thenchantswithahoarsecroak。)Namine。JacobsVobiscuits。Amen。

(Foghornsstormilythroughhismegaphone。)Dignam，PatrickT。，deceased。

PADDYDIGNAM(Withprickedupears，winces。)Overtones。

(Hewrigglesforward，placesaneartotheground。)Mymasters’voice！

JOHNO’CONNELLBurialdocketletternumberU。P。Eightyfivethousand。Fieldseventeen。HouseofKeys。Plot，onehundredandone。

(PaddyDignamlistenswithvisibleeffort，thinking，histailstiffpointed，hisearscocked。)

PADDYDIGNAMPrayforthereposeofhissoul。

(Hewormsdownthroughacoalhole，hisbrownhabittrailingitstetheroverrattlingpebbles。Afterhimtoddlesanobesegrandfatherratonfungusturtlepawsunderagreycarapace。Dignam’svoice，muffled，isheardbayingunderground:Dignam’sdeadandgonebelow。TomRochford，robinredbreasted，incapandbreeches，jumpsfromhistwo-columnedmachine。)

TOMROCHFORD(Ahandtohisbreastbone，bows。)ReubenJ。AflorinIfindhim。(Hefixesthemanholewitharesolutestare。)Myturnnowon。FollowmeuptoCarlow。

(Heexecutesadaredevilsalmonleapintheairandisengulfedinthecoalhole。Twodiscsonthecolumnswobbleeyesofnought。Allrecedes。Bloomplodgesforwardagain。Hestandsbeforealightedhouse，listening。Thekisses，wingingfromtheirbowers，flyabouthim，twittering，warbling，cooing。)

THEKISSES(Warbling。)Leo！(Twittering。)IckylickymickystickyforLeo！(Cooing。)Coocoocoo！YummyummWomworn！(Warbling。)Bigcomebig！Pirouette！Leopopold！(Twittering。)Leeolee！(Warbling。)OLeo！

(Theyrustle，flutteruponhisgarments，alight，brightgiddyflecks，silverysequins。)

BLOOMAman’stouch。Sadmusic。Churchmusic。Perhapshere。

(ZoeHiggins，ayoungwhoreinasapphireslip，closedwiththreebronzebuckles，aslimblackvelvetfilletroundherthroat，nods，tripsdownthestepsandaccostshim。)

ZOEAreyoulookingforsomeone？He’sinsidewithhisfriend。

BLOOMIsthisMrsMack’s？

ZOENo，eightyone。MrsCohen’s。Youmightgofartherandfareworse。MotherSlipperslapper。(Familiarly。)She’sonthejobherselftonightwiththevet，hertipster，thatgivesherallthewinnersandpaysforhersoninOxford。Workingovertimebutherluck’sturnedtoday。(Suspiciously。)You’renothisfather，areyou？

BLOOMNotI！

ZOEYoubothinblack。Haslittlemouseyanyticklestonight？

(Hisskin，alert，feelsherfingertipsapproach。Ahandslidesoverhisleftthigh。)

ZOEHow’sthenuts？

BLOOMOffside。Curiouslytheyareontheright。HeavierIsuppose。Oneinamillionmytailor，Mesias，says。

ZOE(Insuddenalarm。)You’veahardchancre。

BLOOMNotlikely。

ZOEIfeelit。

(Herhandslidesintohislefttrouserpocketandbringsoutahardblackshrivelledpotato。SheregardsitandBloomwithdumbmoistlips。)

BLOOMAtalisman。Heirloom。

ZOEForZoe？Forkeeps？Forbeingsonice，eh？

(Sheputsthepotatogreedilyintoapocket，thenlinkshisarm，cuddlinghimwithsupplewarmth。Hesmilesuneasily。Slowly，notebynote，orientalmusicisplayed。Hegazesinthetawnycrystalofhereyes，ringedwithkohol。Hissmilesoftens。)

ZOEYou’llknowmethenexttime。

BLOOM(Forlornly。)Ineverlovedadeargazellebutitwassureto。

(Gazellesareleaping，feedingonthemountains。Neararelakes。Roundtheirshoresfileshadowsblackofcedargroves。Aromarises，astronghairgrowthofresin。Itburns，theorient，askyofsapphire，cleftbythebronzeflightofeagles。Underitliesthewomancity，nude，white，still，cool，inluxury。Afountainmurmursamongdamaskroses。Mammothrosesmurmurofscarletwinegrapes。Awineofshame，lust，bloodexudes，strangelymurmuring。)

ZOE(Murmuringsingsongwiththemusic，herodalisklipslusciouslysmearedwithsalveofswinefatandrosewater。)Schorachaniwenowach，benoithHierushaloim。

BLOOM(Fascinated。)Ithoughtyouwereofgoodstockbyyouraccent。

ZOEAndyouknowwhatthoughtdid？

(Shebiteshiseargentlywithlittlegoldstoppedteethsendingonhimacloyingbreathofstalegarlic。Therosesdrawapart，discloseasepulchreofthegoldofkingsandtheirmoulderingbones。)

BLOOM(Drawsback，mechanicallycaressingherrightbubwithaflatawkwardhand。)AreyouaDublingirl？

ZOE(Catchesastrayhairdeftlyandtwistsittohercoil。)Nobloodyfear。I’mEnglish。Haveyouaswaggerroot？

BLOOM(Asbefore。)Rarelysmoke，dear。Cigarnowandthen。Childishdevice。(Lewdly。)Themouthcanbebetterengagedthanwithacylinderofrankweed。

ZOEGoon。Makeastumpspeechoutofit。

BLOOM(Inworkman’scorduroyoveralls，blackgansywithredfloatingtieandapachecap。)Mankindisincorrigible。SirWalterRaleighbroughtfromthenewworldthatpotatoandthatweed，theoneakillerofpestilencebyabsorption，theotherapoisoneroftheear，eye，heart，memory，will，understanding，all。Thatistosay，hebroughtthepoisonahundredyearsbeforeanotherpersonwhosenameIforgetbroughtthefood。Suicide。Lies。Allourhabits。Why，lookatourpubliclife！

(Midnightchimesfromdistantsteeples。)

THECHIMESTurnagain，Leopold！LordMayorofDublin！

BLOOM(Inalderman’sgownandchain。)ElectorsofArranQuay，InnsQuay，Rotunda，MountjoyandNorthDock，betterrunatramline，Isay，fromthecattlemarkettotheriver。That’sthemusicofthefuture。That’smyprogramme。CuiBono？ButourbuccaneeringVanderdeckensintheirphantomshipoffinance……

ANELECTORThreetimesthreeforourfuturechiefmagistrate！

(Theauroraborealisofthetorchlightprocessionleaps。)

THETORCHBEARERSHooray！

(Severalwellknownburgesses，citymagnatesandfreemenofthecityshakehandswithBloomandcongratulatehim。TimothyHarrington，latethriceLordMayorofDublin，imposinginmayoralscarlet，goldchainandwhitesilktie，conferswithcouncillorLorcanSherlock，locumtenens。Theynodvigorouslyinagreement。)

LATELORDMAYORHARRINGTON(Inscarletrobewithmace，goldmayoralchainandlacewhitesilkscarf)ThataldermansirLeoBloom’sspeechbeprintedattheexpenseoftheratepayers。ThatthehouseinwhichhewasbornbeornamentedwithacommemorativetabletandthatthethoroughfarehithertoknownasCowParlouroffCorkstreetbehenceforthdesignatedBoulevardBloom。

COUNCILLORLORCANSHERLOCKCarriedunanimously。

BLOOM(Impassionedly。)TheseflyingDutchmenorlyingDutchmenastheyreclineintheirupholsteredpoop，castingdice，whatreckthey？Machinesistheircry，theirchimera，theirpanacea。Laboursavingapparatuses，supplanters，bug-bears，manufacturedmonstersformutualmurder，hideoushobgoblinsproducedbyahordeofcapitalisticlustsuponourprostitutedlabour。Thepoormanstarveswhiletheyaregrassingtheirroyalmountainstagsorshootingpeasantsandphartridgesintheirpurblindpompofpelfandpower。Buttheirreignisroverforreverandeverandev……

(Prolongedapplause。Venetianmasts，maypolesandfestalarchesspringup。AstreamerbearingthelegendsCeadMilleFailteandMahTtobMelekIsraelspansthestreet。Allthewindowsarethrongedwithsightseers，chieflyladies。AlongtheroutetheregimentsoftheroyalDublinFusiliers，theKingsOwnScottishBoraerers，theCameronHighlandersandtheWelshFusiliers，standingtoattention，keepbackthecrowd。BoysfromHighschoolareperchedonthelampposts，telegraphpoles，windowsills，cornices，gutters，chimneypots，railings，rainspouts，whistlingandcheering。Thepillarofthecloudappears。AfifeanddrumbandisheardinthedistanceplayingtheKolNidre。Thebeatersapproachwithimperialeagleshoisted，trailingbannersandwavingorientalpalms。Thechryselephantinepapalstandardriseshigh，surroundedbypennonsofthecivicflag。ThevanoftheprocessionappearsheadedbyJohnHowardParnell，citymarshal，inachessboardtabard，theAthlonePoursuivantandUlsterKingofArms。TheyarefollowedbytheRightHonourableJosephHutchinson，lordmayorofDublin，thelordmayorofCork，theirworshipsthemayorsofLimerick，Galway，SligoandWatedord，twentyeightIrishrepresentativepeers，sirdars，grandeesandmaharajahsbearingtheclothofestate，theDublinMetropolitanFireBrigade，thechapterofthesaintsoffinanceintheirplutocraticorderofprecedence，thebishopofDownandConnorHisEminenceMichaelcardinalLoguearchbishopofArmagh，primateofallIreland，HisGrace，themostreverendDrWilliamAlexanderarchbishopofArmagh，primateofallIreland，thechiefrabbi，thepresbyterianmoderator，theheadsofthebaptist，anabaptist，methodistandMoravianchapelsandthehonorarysecretaryofthesocietyoffriends。herthemmarchtheguildsandtradesandtrainbandswithflyingcolours:coopen，birdfanciers，millwrights，newspapercanvassers，lawscriveners，masseurs，vintners，trussmakers，chimneysweeps，lardrefiners，tabinetandpoplinweavers，farriers，Italianwarehousemen，churchdecorators，bootjackmanufacturers，undertaken，silkmercers，lapidaries，salesmasters，corkcutters，assessorsoffirelosses，dyersandcleaners，exportbottlers，fellmongers，ticketwriters，heraldicsealengravers，horserepositoryhands，bullionbroken，cricketandarcheryoutfitters，riddlemakers，eggandpotatofactors，hosiersandglovers，plumbingcontractors。AfterthemmarchgentlemenofthebedchamberBlackRod，DeputyGarterGoldStick，themasterofhone，thelordgreatchamberlain，theearlmarshal，thehighconstablecarryingtheswordofstate，saintStephen’sironcrown，thechaliceandbible。Fourbuglersonfootblowasennet。Beefeatenreply，windingclarionsofwelcome。UnderanarchoftriumphBloomappearsbareheaded，inacrimsonvelvetmantletrimmedwithermine，bearingSaintEdward’sstafftheorbandsceptrewiththedove，thecurtana。Heisseatedonamilkwhitehonewithlongflowingcrimsontail，richlycaparisoned，withgoldenheadstall。Wildexcitement。Theladiesfromtheirbalconiesthrowdownrosepetals。Theairisperfumedwithessences。Themencheer。Bloom’sboysrunamidthebystanderswithbranchesofhawthornandwrenbushes。)

BLOOM’SBOYS

Thewren，thewren，

Thekingofallbirds，

SaintStephen’shisday，

Wascaughtinthefurze。

ABLACKSMITH(Murmurs。)FortheHonourofGod！AndisthatBloom？Hescarcelylooksthirtyone。

APAVIORANDFLAGGERThat’sthefamousBloomnow，theworld’sgreatestreformer。Hatsoff！

(Alluncovertheirheads。Womenwhispereagerly。)

AMILLIONAIRESS(Richly。)Isn’thesimplywonderful？

ANOBLEWOMAN(Nobly。)Allthatmanhasseen！

AFEMINIST(Masculinely。)Anddone！

ABELLHANGERAclassicface！Hehastheforeheadofathinker。

(Bloom’sweather。Asunburstappearsinthenorthwest。)

THEBISHOPOFDOWNANDCONNORIherepresentyourundoubtedemperorpresidentandkingchairman，themostsereneandpotentandverypuissantrulerofthisrealm。GodsaveLeopoldtheFirst！

ALLGodsaveLeopoldtheFirst！

BLOOM(Indalmaticandpurplemantle，tothebishopofDownandConnorwithdignity。)Thanks，somewhateminentsir。

WILLIAM，ARCHBISHOPOFARMAGH(Inpurplestockandshovelhat。)WillyoutoyourpowercauselawandmercytobeexecutedinallyourjudgmentsinIrelandandterritoriesthereuntobelonging？

BLOOM(Placinghisrighthandonhistesticles，swears。)SomaytheCreatordealwithme。AllthisIpromisetodo。

MICHAEL，ARCHBISHOPOFARMAGH(PoursacruseofhairoiloverBloom’shead。)Gaudiummagnumannuntiovobis。Habemuscarneficem。Leopold，Patrick，Andrew，David，George，bethouanointed！

(Bloomassumesamantleofclothofgoldandputsonarubyring。Heascendsandstandsonthestoneofdestiny。Therepresentativepeersputonatthesametimetheirtwentyeightcrowns。JoybellsringinChristchurch，SaintPatrick’s，George’sandgayMalahide。Mirusbazaarfireworksgoupfromallsideswithsymbolicalphallopyrotechnicdesigns。Thepeersdohomage，onebyone，approachingandgenuflecting。)

THEPEERSIdobecomeyourliegemanoflifeandlimbtoearthlyworship。

(BloomholdsuphisrighthandonwhichsparklestheKoh-i-Noordiamond。Hispalfreyneighs。Immediatesilence。Wirelessintercontinentalandinterplanetarytransmittersaresetforreceptionofmessage。)

BLOOMMysubjects！WeherebynominateourfaithfulchargerCopulaFelixhereditaryGrandVizierandannouncethatwehavethisdayrepudiatedourformerspouseandhavebestowedourroyalhandupontheprincessSelene，thesplendourofnight。

(TheformermorganaticspouseofBloomishastilyremovedintheBlackMaria。TheprincessSelene，inmoonbluerobes，asilvercrescentonherhead，descendsfromaSedanchairbornebytwogiants。Anoutburstofcheering。)

JOHNHOWARDPARNELL(Raisestheroyalstandard。)IllustriousBloom！Successortomyfamousbrother！

BLOOM(EmbracesJohnHowardParnell。)Wethankyoufromourheart，John，forthisrightroyalwelcometogreenErin，thepromisedlandofourcommonancestors。

(Thefreedomofthecityispresentedtohimembodiedinacharter。ThekeysofDublin，crossedonacrimsoncushion，aregiventohim。Heshowsallthatheiswearinggreensocks。)

TOMKERNANYoudeserveit，yourhonour。

BLOOMOnthisdaytwentyyearsagoweovercamethehereditaryenemyatLadysmith。Ourhowitzersandcamelswivelgunsplayedonhislineswithtellingeffect。Halfaleagueonward！Theycharge！Allislostnow！Doweyield？No！Wedrivethemheadlong！Lo！Wecharge！DeployingtotheleftourlighthorsesweptacrosstheheightsofPlevnaand，utteringtheirwarcry，BonafideSabaoth，sabredtheSaracengunnerstoaman。

THECHAPELOFFREEMANTYPESETTERSHear！Hear！

JOHNWYSENOLANThere’sthemanthatgotawayJamesStephens。

ABLUECOATSCHOOLBOYBravo！

ANOLDRESIDENTYou’reacredittoyourcountry，sir，that’swhatyouare。

ANAPPLEWOMANHe’samanlikeIrelandwants。

BLOOMMybelovedsubjects，aneweraisabouttodawn。I，Bloom，tellyouverilyitisevennowathand。Yea，onthewordofaBloom，yeshallerelongenterintothegoldencitywhichistobe，thenewBloomusalemintheNovaHiberniaofthefuture。

(Thirtytwoworkmenwearingrosettes，fromallthecountiesofIreland，undertheguidanceofDerwanthebuilderconstructthenewBloomusalem。Itisacolossaledifice，withcrystalroofbuiltintheshapeofahugeporkkidney，containingfortythousandrooms。Inthecourseofitsextensionseveralbuildingsandmonumentsaredemolished。Governmentofficesaretemporarilytransferredtorailwaysheds。Numeroushousesarerazedtotheground。Theinhabitantsarelodgedinbarrelsandboxes，allmarkedinredwiththeletters:L。B。Severalpaupersfallfromaladder。ApartofthewallsofDublin，crowdedwithloyalsightseers，collapses。)

THESIGHTSEERS(Dying)Morituritesalutant。(Theydie。)

(Amaninabrownmacintoshspringsupthroughatrap-door。HepointsanelongatedfingeratBloom。)

THEMANINTHEMACINTOSHDon’tyoubelieveawordheSays。ThatmanisLeopoldM’Intosh，thenotoriousfireraiser。HisrealnameisHiggins。

BLOOMShoothim！Dogofachristian！SomuchforM’Intosh！

(Acannonshot。Themaninthemacintoshdisappears。Bloomwithhissceptrestrikesdownpoppies。Theinstantaneousdeathsofmanypowerfulenemies，graziers，membersofparliament，membersofstandingcommittees，arereported。Bloom’sbodyguarddistributeMaundymoney，commemorationmedals，loavesandfishes，temperancebadges，expensiveHenryClaycigars，freecowbonesforsoup，rubberpreservatives，insealedenvelopestiedwithgoldthread，butterscotch，pineapplerock，billetsdouxintheformofcockedhats，readymadesuits，porringersoftoadinthehole，bottlesofJeyes’Fluid，purchasestamps，40days’indulgences，spuriouscoins，dairyfedporksausages，theatrepasses，seasonticketsavailableforalltramlines，couponsoftheroyalandprivilegedHungarianlottery，pennydinnercounters，cheapreprintsoftheWorld’sTwelveWorstBooks:FroggyandFritz(politic)，CareoftheBaby(infantilic)，SoMealsfor7/6(culinic)，WasJesusaSunMyth？(historic)，ExpelthatPain(medic)，Infant’sCompendiumoftheUniverse(cosmic)，Let’sAllChortle(hilaric)，Canvasser’sVadeMecum(journalic)，love-lettersofMotherAssistant(erotic)，Who’sWhoinSpace(astric)，SongsthatReachedOurHeart(melodic)，Pennywise’sWaytoWealth(parsimonic)。Ageneralrushandscramble。WomenpressforwardtotouchthehemofBloom’srobe。TheladyGwendolenDubedatburststhroughthethrong，leapsonhishorseandkisseshimonbothcheeksamidgreatacclamation。Amagnesiumflashlightphotographistaken。Babesandsucklingsareheldup。)

THEWOMENLittlefather！Littlefather！

THEBABESANDSUCKLINGS

ClapclaphandstillPoldycomeshome，

CakesinhispocketforLeoalone。

(Bloom，bendingdown，pokesBabyBoardmangentlyinthestomach。)

BABYBOARDMAN(Hiccups，curdledmilkflowingfromhismouth。)Hajajaja。

BLOOM(Shakinghandswithablindstripling。)MymorethanBrother！(Placinghisarmsroundtheshouldersofanoldcouple。)Dearoldfriends！(Heplayspussyfourcornerswithraggedboysandgirls。)Peep！Bopeep！(Hewheelstwinsinaperambulator。)Ticktacktwowouldyousetashoe？(Heperformsjuggler’stricks，drawsred，orange，yellow，green，blue，indigoandvioletsilkhandkerchiefsfromhismouth。)Roygbiv。32feetpersecond。(Heconsolesawidow。)Absencemakestheheartgrowyounger。(HedancestheHighlandflingwithgrotesqueantics。)Legit，yedevils！(Hekissesthebedsoresofapalsiedveteran。)Honourablewounds！(Hetripsupafatpoliceman。)U。p。:up。U。p。:up。(Hewhispersintheearofablushingwaitressandlaughskindly。)Ah，naughty，naughty！(HeeatsarawturnipofferedhimbyMauriceButterly，farmer。)Fine！Splendid！(HerefusestoacceptthreeshillingsofferedhimbyJosephHynes，journalist。)Mydearfellow，notatall！(Hegiveshiscoattoabeggar。)Pleaseaccept。(Hetakespartinastomachracewithelderlymaleandfemalecripples。)Comeon，boys！Wriggleit，girls！

THECITIZEN(Chokedwithemotion，brushesasideatearinhisemeraldmuffler。)MaythegoodGodblesshim！

(Therams’hornssoundforsilence。ThestandardofZionishoisted。)

BLOOM(Uncloaksimpressively，revealingobesity，unrollsapaperandreadssolemnly。)AlephBethGhimelDalethHagadahTephilimKosherYomKippurHanukahRoschaschanaBeniBrithBarMitzvahMazzothAskenazimMeshuggahTalith。

(AnofficialtranslationisreadbyJimmyHenry，assistanttownclerk。)

JIMMYHENRYTheCourtofConscienceisnowopen。HisMostCatholicMajestywillnowadministeropenairjustice。Freemedicalandlegaladvice，solutionofdoublesandotherproblems。Allcordiallyinvited。GivenatthisourloyalcityofDublinintheyearIoftheParadisiacalEra。

PADDYLEONARDWhatamItodoaboutmyratesandtaxes？

BLOOMPaythem，myfriend。

PADDYLEONARDThankyou。

NOSEYFLYNNCanIraiseamortgageonmyfireinsurance？

BLOOM(Obdurately。)Sirs，takenoticethatbythelawoftortsyouareboundoverinyourownrecognisancesforsixmonthsinthesumoffivepounds。

J。J。O’MOLLYADanieldidIsay？Nay！APeterO’Brien！

NOSEYFLYNNWheredoIdrawthefivepounds？

PISSERBURKEForbladdertrouble？

BLOOM

Acid。nit。hydrochlordil。，20minims，

Tinct。mix。vom。，4minims。

Extr。taraxel。lig。，30minims。

Aq。dis。terindie。

CHRISCALLINANWhatistheparallaxofthesubsolareclipticofAldebaran？

BLOOMPleasedtohearfromyou，Chris。K。II。

JOEHYNESWhyaren’tyouinuniform？

BLOOMWhenmyprogenitorofsaintedmemoryworetheuniformoftheAustriandespotinadankprisonwherewasyours？

BENDOLLARDPansies？

BLOOMEmbellish(beautify)suburbangardens。

BENDOLLARDWhentwinsarrive？

BLOOMFather(pater，dad)startsthinking。

LARRYO’ROURKEAneightdaylicenceformynewpremises。Yourememberme，sirLeo，whenyouwereinnumberseven。I’msendingaroundadozenofstoutforthemissus。

BLOOM(Coldly。)Youhavetheadvantageofme。LadyBloomacceptsnopresents。

CROFTONThisisindeedafestivity。

BLOOM(Solemnly。)Youcallitafestivity。Icallitasacrament。

ALEXANDERKEYESWhenwillwehaveourownhouseofkeys？

BLOOMIstandforthereformofmunicipalmoralsandtheplaintencommandments。Newworldsforold。Unionofall，jew，moslemandgentile。Threeacresandacowforallchildrenofnature。Saloonmotorhearses。Compulsorymanuallabourforall。Allparksopentothepublicdayandnight。Electricdishscrubbers。Tuberculosis，lunacy，warandmendicancymustnowcease。Generalamnesty，weeklycarnival，withmaskedlicence，bonusesforall，esperantotheuniversalbrotherhood。Nomorepatriotismofbarspongersanddropsicalimpostors。Freemoney，freeloveandafreelaychurchinafreelaystate。

O’MADDENBURKEFreefoxinafreehenroost。

DAVYBYRNE(Yawning。)Iiiiiiiiiaaaaaaach！

BLOOMMixedracesandmixedmarriage。

LENEHANWhataboutmixedbathing？

(Bloomexplainstothosenearhimhisschemesforsocialregeneration。Allagreewithhim。ThekeeperoftheKildareStreetMuseumappears，draggingalorryonwhicharetheshakingstatuesofseveralnakedgoddesses，VenusCallipyge，VenusPandemosVenusMetempsychosis，andplasterfigures，alsonaked，representingthenewninemuses，Commerce，OperaticMusic，AmorPublicity，Manufacture，libertyofSpeech，PluralVoting，Gastronomy，PrivateHygiene，SeasideConcertEntertainments，PainlessObstetricsandAstronomyforthePeople。)

FATHERFARLEYHeisanepiscopalian，anagnostic，ananythingarianseekingtooverthrowourholyfaith。

MRSRIORDAN(Tearsupherwill。)I’mdisappointedinyou！Youbadman！

MOTHERGROGAN(RemovesherboottothrowitatBloom。)Youbeast！Youabominableperson！

NOSEYFLYNNGiveusatune，Bloom。Oneoftheoldsweetsongs。

BLOOM(Withrollickinghumour。)

IvowedthatIneverwouldleaveher，

Sheturnedoutacrueldeceiver。

Withmytooraloomtooraloomtooralcomtooraloom。

HOPPYHOLOHANGoodoldBloom！There’snobodylikehimafterall。

PADDYLEONARDStageIrishman！

BLOOMWhatrailwayoperaislikeatramlineinGibraltar？TheRowsofCasteele。(Laughter。)

LENEHANPlagiarist！DownwithBloom！

THEVEILEDSIBYL(Enthusiastically。)I’maBloomiteandIgloryinit。Ibelieveinhiminspiteofall。I’dgivemylifeforhim，thefunniestmanonearth。

BLOOM(Winksatthebystanders。)Ibetshe’sabonnylassie。

THEODOREPUREFOY(Infishingcapandoilskinjacket。)Heemploysamechanicaldevicetofrustratethesacredendsofnature。

THEVEILEDSIBYL(Stabsherself。)Myherogod！(Shedies。)

(Manymostattractiveandenthusiasticwomenalsocommitsuicidebystabbing，drowning，drinkingprussicacid，aconite，arsenic，openingtheirveins，refusingfood，castingthemselvesundersteamrollers，fromthetopofNelson’sPillar，intothegreatvatofGuinness’sbrewery，asphyxiatingthemselvesbyplacingtheirheadsingasovens，hangingthemselvesinstylishgarters，leapingfromwindowsofdifferentstoreys。)

ALEXANDERJ。DOWIE(Violently。)FellowchristiansandantiBloomites，themancalledBloomisfromtherootsofhell，adisgracetochristianmen。AfiendishlibertinefromhisearliestyearsthisstinkinggoatofMendesgaveprecocioussignsofinfantiledebaucheryrecallingthecitiesoftheplain，withadissolutegranddam。Thisvilehypocrite，bronzedwithinfamy，isthewhitebullmentionedintheApocalypse。AworshipperoftheScarletWoman，intrigueistheverybreathofhisnostrils。Thestakefaggotsandthecaldronofboilingoilareforhim。Caliban！

THEMOBLynchhim！Roasthim！He’sasbadasParnellwas。MrFox！

(MotherGroganthrowsherbootatBloom。SeveralshopkeepersfromupperandlowerDorsetstreetthrowobjectsoflittleornocommercialvalue，hambones，condensedmilktins，unsaleablecabbage，stalebread，sheeps’tails，oddpiecesoffat。)

BLOOM(Excitedly。)Thisismidsummermadness，someghastlyjokeagain。Byheaven，Iamguiltlessastheunsunnedsnow！ItwasmybrotherHenry。Heismydouble。Helivesinnumber2Dolphin’sBarn。Slander，theviper，haswrongfullyaccusedme。Fellowcountrymen，sgenlinnbanbatacoisdegancapall。Icallonmyoldfriend，DrMalachiMulligan，sexspecialisttogivemedicaltestimonyonmybehalf。

DRMULLIGAN(Inmotorjerkin，greenmotorogglesonhisbrow。)DrBloomisbisexuallyabnormal。HehasrecentlyescapedfromDrEustace’sprivateasylumfordementedgentlemen。Bornoutofbedlockhereditaryepilepsyispresent，theconsequenceofunbridledlust。Tracesofelephantiasishavebeendiscoveredamonghisascendants。Therearemarkedsymptomsofchronicexhibitionism。Ambidexterityisalsolatent。Heisprematurelybaldfromselfabuse，perverselyidealisticinconsequence，areformedrake，andhasmetalteeth。InconsequenceofafamilycomplexhehastemporarilylosthismemoryandIbelievehimtobemoresinnedagainstthansinning。Ihavemadeapervaginalexaminationand，afterapplicationoftheacidtestto5427anal，axillary，pectoralandpubichairs，Ideclarehimtobevirgointacta。

(Bloomholdshishighgradehatoverhisgenitalorgans。)

DRMADDENHypsospadiaisalsomarked。IntheinterestofcominggenerationsIsuggestthatthepartsaffectedshouldbepreservedinspiritsofwineinthenationalteratologicalmuseum。

DRCROTTHERSIhaveexaminedthepatient’surine。Itisalbuminoid。Salivationisinsufficient，thepatellarreflexintermittent。

DRPUNCHCOSTELLOThefetorjudaicusismostperceptible。

DRDIXON(Readsabillofhealth。)ProfessorBloomisafinishedexampleofthenewwomanlyman。Hismoralnatureissimpleandlovable。Manyhavefoundhimadearman，adearperson。Heisaratherquaintfellowonthewhole，coythoughnotfeeble-mindedinthemedicalsense。Hehaswrittenareallybeautifulletter，apoeminitself，tothecourtmissionaryoftheReformedPriests’ProtectionSocietywhichclearsupeverything。HeispracticallyatotalabstainerandIcanaffirmthathesleepsonastrawlitterandeatsthemostSpartanfood，colddriedgrocer’speas。HewearsahairshirtwinterandsummerandscourgeshimselfeverySaturday。Hewas，Iunderstand，atonetimeafirstclassmisdemeanantinGlencreereformatory。Anotherreportstatesthathewasaveryposthumouschild。Iappealforclemencyinthenameofthemostsacredwordourvocalorganshaveeverbeencalledupontospeak。Heisabouttohaveababy。

(Generalcommotionandcompassion。Womenfaint。AwealthyAmericanmakesastreetcollectionforBloom。Goldandsilvercoins，bankcheques，banknotes，jewels，treasurybonds，maturingbillsofexchange，I。O。U。s，weddingrings’watch-chains，lockets，necklacesandbraceletsarerapidlycollected。)

BLOOMO，Isowanttobeamother。

MRSTHORNTON(Innursetender’sgown。)Embracemetight，dear。You’llbesoonoverit。Tight，dear。

(Bloomembraceshertightlyandbearseightmaleyellowandwhitechildren。Theyappearonaredcarpetedstaircaseadornedwithexpensiveplants。Allarehandsome，withvaluablemetallicfaces，wellmade，respectablydressedandwellconducted，speakingfivemodernlanguagesfluentlyandinterestedinvariousartsandsciences。Eachhashisnameprintedinlegiblelettersonhisshirtfront:Nasodoro，Goldfinger，Chrysostomos，Maindorée，Silversmile，SilberselberVifargent，Panargros。Theyareimmediatelyappointedtopositionsofhighpublictrustinseveraldifferentcountriesasmanagingdirectorsofbanks，trafficmanagersofrailways，chairmenoflimitedliabilitycompanies，vicechairmenofhotelsyndicates。)

AVOICEBloom，areyoutheMessiahbenJosephorbenDavid？

BLOOM(Darkly。)Youhavesaidit。

BROTHERBUZZThenperformamiracle。

BANTAMLYONSProphesywhowillwintheSaintLeger。

(Bloomwalksonanet，covershislefteyewithhisleftear，passesthroughseveralwalls，climbsNelson’sPillar，hangsfromthetheledgebyhiseyelids，eatstwelvedozenoysters(shellsincluded)，healsseveralsufferersfromkingsevil，contractshisfacesoastoresemblemanyhistoricalpersonages，lordBeaconsfield，lordByron，WatTyler，MosesofEgypt，MosesMaimonides，MosesMendelssohn，HenryIrving，RipvanWinkle，Rossuth，JeanJacquesRousseau，BaronLeopoldRothschild，RobinsonCrusoe，SherlockHolmes，Pasteur，turnseachfootsimultaneouslyindifferentdirections，bidsthetideturnback，eclipsesthesunbyextendinghislittlefinger。)

BRINI，PAPALNUNCIO(Inpapalzouave’suniform，steelcuirassesasbreastplate，armplates，thighplates，legplates，largeprofanemoustachesandbrownpapermitre。)Leopoldiautemgeneratio。MosesbegatNoahandNoahbegatEunuchandEunuchbegatO’HalloranandO’HalloranbegatGuggenheimandGuggenheimbegatAgendathandAgendathbegatNetaimandNetaimbegatLeHirschandLeHirschbegatJesurumandJesurumbegatMacKayandMacKaybegatOstrolopskyandOstrolopskybegatSmerdozandSmerdozbegatWeissandWeissbegatSchwarzandSchwarzbegatAdrianopoliandAdrianopolibeganAranjuezandAranjuezbegatLewyLawsonandLewyLawsonbegatIchabudonosorandIchabudonosorbegatO’DonnellMagnusandO’DonnellMagnusbegatChristbaumandChristbaumbegatBenMaimunandBenMaimunbegatDustyRhodesandDustyRhodesbegatBenamorandBenamorbegatJones-SmithandJones-SmithbegatSavorgnanovichandSavorgnanovichbegatJasperstoneandJasperstonebegatVingtetuniemeandVingtetuniemebegatSzombathelyandSzombathelybegatViragandViragbegatBloometvocabiturnomeneiusEmmanuel。

ADEADHAND(Writesonthewall。)Bloomisacod。ACRAB(Inbushranger’skit。)WhatdidyoudointhecattlecreepbehindKilbarrack？

AFEMALEINFANT(Shakesarattle。)AndunderBallyboughbridge？

AHOLLYBUSHAndinthedevil’sglen？

BLOOM(Blushesfuriouslyalloverfromfronttonates，threetearsfallingfromhislefteye。)Sparemypast。

THEIRISHEVICTEDTENANTS(Inbodycoats，kneebreeches，withDonnybrookfairshillelaghs。)Sjambokhim！

(Bloomwithasses’earsseatshimselfinthepillorywithcrossedarms，hisfeetprotruding。HewhistlesDonGiovanni，acenarteco。Artaneorphans，joininghands，caperroundhim。GirlsofthePrisonGateMission，joininghands，caperroundintheoppositedirection。)

THEARTANEORPHANS

Youbig，youbog，youdirtydog！

Youthinktheladiesloveyou！

THEPRISONGATEGIRLS

Ifyouseekay

Tellhimhemay

Seeyouintea

Tellhimfromme。

HORNBLOWER(Inephodandhuntingcap，announces。)AndheshallcarrythesinsofthepeopletoAzazel，thespiritwhichisinthewilderness，andtoLilith，thenighthag。Andtheyshallstonehimanddefilehim，yea，allfromAgendathNetaimandfromMizraim，thelandofHam。

(AllthepeoplecastsoftpantomimestonesatBloom。Manybonafidetravellersandownerlessdogscomenearhimanddefilehim。MastianskyandCitronapproachingaberdines，wearinglongearlocks。TheywagtheirbeardsatBloom。)

MASTIANSKYANDCITRONBelial！LaemleinofIstria！thefalseMessiah！Abulafia！

(GeorgeS。Mesias，Bloom’stailor，appears，atailor’sgooseunderhisarm，presentingabill。)

MESIASToalterationonepairtrouserselevenshillings。

BLOOM(Rubshishandscheerfully。)Justlikeoldtimes。PoorBloom！

(ReubenJ。Dodd，blackbeardedIscariot，badshepherd，bearingonhisshouldersthedrownedcorpseofhisson，approachesthepillory。)

REUBENJ。(Whispershoarsely。)Thesqueakisout。Asplitisgonefortheflatties。Nipthefirstrattler。

THEFIREBRIGADEPflaap！

BROTHERBUZZ(InvestsBloominayellowhabitwithembroideryofpaintedflamesandhighpointedhat。Heplacesabagofgunpowderroundhisneckandhandshimovertothecivilpower，saying。)Forgivehimhistrespasses。

(LieutenantMyersoftheDublinFireBrigadebygeneralrequestsetsfiretoBloom。Lamentations。)

THECITIZENThankheaven！

BLOOM(InaseamlessgarmentmarkedI。H。S。standsuprightamidphoenixflames。)Weepnotforme，OdaughtersofErin。

(HeexhibitstoDublinreporterstracesofburning。ThedaughtersofErin，inblackgarmentswithlaceprayerbooksandlonglightedcandlesintheirhands，kneeldownandpray。)

THEDAUGHTERSOFERINKidneyofBloom，prayforus。FloweroftheBath，prayforus。MentorofMenton，prayforus。CanvasserfortheFreeman，prayforus。CharitableMason，prayforus。WanderingSoap，prayforus。SweetsofSin，prayforus。MusicwithoutWords，prayforus。ReproveroftheCitizen，prayforus。FriendofallFrillies，prayforus。MidwifeMostMerciful，prayforus。PotatoPreservativeagainstPlagueandPestilence，prayforus。

(Achoirofsixhundredvoices，conductedbyMrVincentO’Brien，singstheAlleluiachorus，accompaniedontheorganbyJosephGlynn。Bloombecomesmute，shrunken，carbonised。)

ZOETalkawaytillyou’reblackintheface。

BLOOM(Incaubeenwithclaypipestuckintheband，dustybrogues，anemigrant’sredhandkerchiefbundleinhishand，leadingablackbogoakpigbyasugaun，withasmileinhiseye。)Letmebegoingnow，womanofthehouse，forbyallthegoatsinConnemaraI’mafterhavingthefatherandmotherofabating。(Withatearinhiseye。)Allinsanity。Patriotism，sorrowforthedead，music，futureoftherace。Tobeornottobe。Life’sdreamiso’er。Enditpeacefully。Theycanliveon。(Hegazesfarawaymournfully。)Iamruined。Afewpastillesofaconite。Theblindsdrawn。Aletter。Thenliebacktorest。(Hebreathessoftly。)Nomore。Ihavelived。Fare。Farewell。

ZOE(Stiffly，herfingerinherneckfillet。)Honest？Tillthenexttime。(Shesneers。)Supposeyougotupthewrongsideofthebedorcametooquickwithyourbestgirl。O，Icanreadyourthoughts。

BLOOM(Bitterly。)Manandwoman，love，whatisit？Acorkandbottle。

ZOE(Insuddensulks。)Ihatearotterthat’sinsincere。Giveableedingwhoreachance。

BLOOM(Repentantly。)Iamverydisagreeable。Youareanecessaryevil。Whereareyoufrom？London？

ZOE(Glibly。)Hog’sNortonwherethepigsplaytheorgans。I’mYorkshireborn。(Sheholdshishandwhichisfeelingforhernipple。)Isay，TommyTittlemouse。Stopthatandbeginworse。Haveyoucashforashorttime？Tenshillings？

BLOOM(Smiles，nodsslowly。)More，houri，more。

ZOEAndmore’smother？(Shepatshimoffhandedlywithvelvetpaws。)Areyoucomingintothemusicroomtoseeournewpianola？ComeandI’llpeeloff。

BLOOM(Feelinghisocciputdubiouslywiththeunparalleledembarrassmentofaharassedpedlargaugingthesymmetryofherpeeledpears。)Somebodywouldbedreadfullyjealousifsheknew。Thegreeneyedmonster。(Earnestly。)Youknowhowdifficultitis。Ineedn’ttellyou。

ZOE(Flattered。)Whattheeyecan’tseetheheartcan’tgrievefor。(Shepatshim。)Come。

BLOOMLaughingwitch！Thehandthatrocksthecradle。

ZOEBabby！

BLOOM(Inbabylinenandpelisse，bigheaded，withacaulofdarkhair，fixesbigeyesonherfluidslipandcountsitsbronzebuckleswithachubbyfinger，hismoisttonguetollingandlisping。)Onetwotlee:tleetlwotlone。

THEBUCKLESLoveme。Lovemenot。Loveme。

ZOESilentmeansconsent。(Withlittlepartedtalonsshecaptureshishand，herforefingergivingtohispalmthepasstouchofsecretmonitor，luringhimtodoom。)Hothandscoldgizzard。

(Hehesitatesamidscents，music，temptations。Sheleadshimtowardsthesteps，drawinghimbytheodourofherarmpits，theviceofherpaintedeyes，therustleofherslipinwhosesinuousfoldslurksthelionreekofallthemalebrutesthathavepossessedher。)

THEMALEBRUTES(Exhalingsulphurofrutanddungandrampingintheirloosebox，faintlyroaring，theirdruggedheadsswayingtoandfro。)Good！

(ZoeandBloomreachthedoorwaywheretwosisterwhoresareseated。Theyexaminehimcuriouslyfromundertheirpencilledbrowsandsmiletohishastybow。Hetripsawkwardly。)

ZOE(Herluckyhandinstantlysavinghim。)Hoopsa！Don’tfallupstairs。

BLOOMThejustmanfallsseventimes。(Hestandsasideatthethreshold。)Afteryouisgoodmanners。

ZOELadiesfirst，gentlemenafter。

(Shecrossesthethreshold。Hehesitates。Sheturnsand，holdingoutherhands，drawshimover。Hehops。Ontheantieredrackofthehallhangaman’shatandwaterproofBloomuncovershimselfbut，seeingthem，frowns，thensmiles，preoccupied。Adooronthereturnlandingisthrownopen。Amaninpurpleshirtandgreytrousers，brownsocked，passeswithanapesgait，hisbaldheadandgoateebeardupheld，huggingafullwaterjugjarhistwotailedblackbracesdanglingatheels。AvertinghisfacequicklyBloombendstoexamineonthehalltablethespanieleyesofarunningfox:then，hisliftedheadsniffing，followsZoeintothemusicroom。Ashadeofmauvetissuepaperdimsthelightofthechandelier。Roundandroundamothflies，colliding，escaping。Theflooriscoveredwithanoilclothmosaicofjadeandazureandcinnabarrhomboids。Footmarksarestampedoveritinallsenses，heeltoheel，heeltohollow，toetotoe，feetlocked，amorrisofshufflingfeetwithoutbodyphantoms，allinascrimmagehiggledypiggledy。Thewallsaretapes-triedwithapaperofyewfrondsandclearglades。Inthegrateisspreadascreenofpeacockfeathers。Lynchsquatscrossleggedonthehearthrugofmattedhair，hiscapbacktothefront。Withawandhebeatstimeslowly。KittyRicketts，abonypallidwhoreinnavycostume，doeskinglovesrolledbackfromacoralwristlet，achainpurseinherhand，sitsperchedontheedgeofthetableswingingherlegandglancingatherselfinthegiltmirroroverthemantelpiece。Atagofhercorsetlacehangsslightlybelowherjacket。Lynchindicatesmockinglythecoupleatthepiano。)

KITTY(Coughsbehindherhand。)She’sabitimbecilic。(Shesignswithawagglingforefinger。)Blemblem。(Lynchliftsupherskirtandwhitepetticoatwiththewand。Shesettlesthemdownquickly。)Respectyourself。(Shehiccups，thenbendsquicklyhersailorhatunderwhichherhairglows，redwithhenna。)O，excuse！

ZOEMorelimelight，Charley。(Shegoestothechandelierandturnsthegasfullcock。)

KITTY(Peersatthegasjet。)Whatailsittonight？

LYNCH(Deeply。)Enteraghostandhobgoblins。

ZOEClaponthebackforZoe。

(ThewandinLynch’shandflashes:abrasspoker。Stephenstandsatthepianolaonwhichsprawlhishatandashplant。Withtwofingersherepeatsoncemoretheseriesofemptyfifths。FlorryTalbot，ablondfeeblegoosefatwhoreinatatterdemaliongownofmildewedstrawberry，lollsspreadeagleinthesofacorner，herlimpforearmpendentoverthebolster，listening。Aheavystyedroopsoverhersleepyeyelid。)

KITTY(Hiccupsagainwithakickofherhorsedfoot。)O，excuse！

ZOE(Promptly。)Yourboy’sthinkingofyou。Tieaknotonyourshift。

(KittyRickettsbendsherhead。Herboauncoils，slides，glidesoverhershoulder，back，arm，chairtotheground。Lynchliftsthecurledcaterpillaronhiswand。Shesnakesherneck，nestling。Stephenglancesbehindatthesquattedfigurewithitscapbacktothefront。)

STEPHENAsamatteroffactitisofnoimportancewhetherBenedettoMarcellofounditormadeit。Theriteisthepoet’srest。ItmaybeanoldhymntoDemeteroralsoillustrateClaenarrantgloriamDomini。ItissusceptibleofnodesormodesasfarapartashyperphrygianandmixolydianandoftextssodivergentaspriestshaihoopingroundDavid’sthatisCirce’sorwhatamIsayingCeres’altarandDavid’stipfromthestabletohischiefbassoonistabouthisalmightiness。Mais，nomdenom，thatisanotherpairoftrousers。Jetezlagourme。Fautquejeunessesepasse。(Hestops，pointsatLynch’scap，smiles，laughs。)Whichsideisyourknowledgebump？

THECAP(Withsaturninespleen。)Bah！Itisbecauseitis。Woman’sreason。Jewgreekisgreekjew。Extremesmeet。Deathisthehighestformoflife。Bah！

STEPHENYourememberfairlyaccuratelyallmyerrors，boasts，mistakes。HowlongshallIcontinuetoclosemyeyestodisloyalty？Whetstone！

THECAPBah！

STEPHENHere’sanotherforyou。(Hefrowns。)Thereasonisbecausethefundamentalandthedominantareseparatedbythegreatestpossibleintervalwhich。

THECAPWhich？Finish。Youcan’t。

STEPHEN(Withoneffort。)Intervalwhich。Isthegreatestpossibleellipse。Consistentwith。Theultimatereturn。Theoctave。Which。

THECAPWhich？(OutsidethegramophonebeginstoblareTheHolyCity。)

STEPHEN(Abruptly。)Whatwentforthtotheendsoftheworldtotraversenotitself。God，thesun，Shakespeare，acommercialtraveller，havingitselftraversedinrealityitself，becomesthatself。Waitamoment。Waitasecond。Damnthatfellow’snoiseinthestreet。Selfwhichititselfwasineluctablypreconditionedtobecome。Ecco！

LYNCH(WithamockingwhinnyoflaughtergrinsatBloomandZoeHiggins。)Whatalearnedspeech，eh？

ZOE(Briskly。)Godhelpyourhead，heknowsmorethanyouhaveforgotten。

(WithobesestupidityFlorryTalbotregardsStephen。)

FLORRYTheysaythelastdayiscomingthissummer。

KITTYNo！

ZOE(Explodesinlaughter。)GreatunjustGod！

FLORRY(Offended。)Well，itwasinthepapersaboutAntichrist。O，myfoot’stickling。

(Raggedbarefootnewsboys，joggingawagtailkite，patterpast，yelling。)

THENEWSBOYSStoppressedition。Resultoftherockinghorseraces。Seaserpentintheroyalcanal。SafearrivalofAntichrist。

(StephenturnsandseesBloom。)

STEPHENAtime，timesandhalfatime。

(ReubenJ。Antichrist，wanderingjew，aclutchinghandopenonhisspine，stumpsforward。Acrosshisloinsisslungapilgrimswalletfromwhichprotrudepromissorynotesanddishonouredbills。Aloftoverhisshoulderhebearsalongboatpolefromthehookofwhichthesoddenhuddledmassofhisonlyson，savedfromLiffeywaters，hangsfromtheslackofitsbreeches。AhobgoblinintheimageofPunchCostello，hipshot，crookbacked，hydrocephalic，prognathicwithrecedingforeheadandAllySlopernose，tumblesinsomersaultsthroughthegatheringdarkness。)

ALLWhat？

THEHOBGOBLIN(Hisjawschattering，caperstoandfro，gogglinghiseyes，squeaking，kangaroohopping，withoutstretchedclutchingarms，thenallatoncethrustshisliplessfacethroughtheforkofhisthighs。)Ilvient！C’estmoi！L’hommequirit！L’hommeprimigene！(Hewhirlsroundandroundwithdervishhowls。)Sieursetdames，faitesvosjeux！(Hecrouchesjuggling。Tinyrouletteplanetsflyfromhishands。)Lesjeuxson！faits！(Theplanetsrushtogether，utteringcrepitantcracks。)Rienn’vaplus。(Theplanets，buoyantballoons，sailswollenupandaway。Hespringsoffintovacuum。)

FLORRY(Sinkingintotorpor，crossesherselfsecretly。)Theendoftheworld！

(Afemaletepideffluviumleaksoutfromher。Nebulousobscurityoccupiesspace。Throughthedriftingfogwithoutthegramophoneblaresovercoughsandfeetshuffling。)

THEGRAMOPHONEJerusalem！OpenyourgatesandsingHosanna……

(Arocketrushesuptheskyandbursts。Awhitestarfallsfromit，proclaimingtheconsummationofallthingsandsecondcomingofElijah。Alonganinfiniteinvisibletight-ropetautfromzenithtonadirtheEndoftheWorld，atwoheadedoctopusingillieskilts，busbyandtartanfilibegs，whirlsthroughthemurk，headoverheels，inthefoboftheThreeLugsofMan。)

THEENDOFTHEWORLD(WithaScotchaccent。)Wha’lldancethekeelrow，thekeelrow，thekeelrow？

(Overthepassingdriftandchokingbreathcoughs，Elijah’svoice，harshasacorncrakes，jarsonhigh。Perspiringinalooselawnsurplicewithfunnelsleevesheisseen，vergefacedabovearostrumaboutwhichthebannerofoldgloryisdraped。Hethumpstheparapet。)

ELIJAHNoyapping，ifyouplease，inthisbooth。JakeCrane，CreoleSue，DaveCampbell，AbeKirschner，doyourcoughingwithyourmouthsshut。Say，Iamoperatingallthistrunkline。Boys，doitnow。God’stimeis12。25。Tellmotheryou’llbethere。Rushyourorderandyouplayaslickace。Joinonrighthere！Bookthroughtoeternityjunction，thenonstoprun。Justonewordmore。Areyouagodoradoggoneclod？IfthesecondadventcametoConeyIslandareweready？FlorryChrist，StephenChrist，ZoeChrist，BloomChrist，KittyChrist，LynchChrist，it’suptoyoutosensethatcosmicforce。Havewecoldfeetaboutthecosmos？No。Beonthesideoftheangels。Beaprism。Youhavethatsomethingwithin，thehigherself。YoucanrubshoulderswithaJesus，aGautama，anIngersoll。Areyouallinthisvibration？Isayyouare。Youoncenobblethat，congregation，andabuckjoyridetoheavenbecomesabacknumber。Yougotme？It’salifebrightener，sure。Thehotteststuffeverwas。It’sthewholepiewithjamin。It’sjustthecutestsnappiestlineout。Itisimmense，supersumptuous。Itrestores。Itvibrates。IknowandIamsomevibrator。Jokingapartandgettingdowntobedrock，A。J。ChristDowieandtheharmonialphilosophy，haveyougotthat？O。K。Seventysevenwestsixtyninthstreet。Gotme？That’sit。Youcallmeupbysunphoneanyoldtime。Bumboosers，saveyourstamps。(Heshouts。)Nowthenourglorysong。Alljoinheartilyinthesinging。Encore！(Hesings。)Jeru……

THEGRAMOPHONE(Drowninghisvoice。)Whorusalaminyourhighhohhhh。

(Thediscraspsgratinglyagainsttheneedle。)

THETHREE’WHORES(Coveringtheirears，squawk。)Ahhkkk！

ELIJAH(Inrolledupshirtsleeves，blackintheface，shoutsatthetopofhisvoice，hisarmsuplifted。)BigBrotherupthere，MrPresident，youhearwhatIdonejustbeensayingtoyou。Certainly，Isortofbelievestronginyou，MrPresident。IcertainlyamthinkingnowMissHigginsandMissRickettsgotreligionwayinsidethem。CertainlyseemstomeIdon’tneverseenowusserscaredfemalethanthewayyoubeen，MissFlorry，justnowasIdoneseedyou。MrPresident，youcomelongandhelpmesaveoursistersdear。(Hewinksathisaudience。)OurMrPresident，hetwigthewholelotandheain’tsayingnothing。

KITTY-KATEIforgotmyself。InaweakmomentIerredanddidwhatIdidonConstitutionhill。Iwasconfirmedbythebishop。Mymother’ssistermarriedaMontmorency。ItwasaworkingplumberwasmyruinationwhenIwaspure。

ZOE-FANNYIlethimlarrupitintomeforthefunofit。

FLORRY-TERESAItwasinconsequenceofaportwinebeverageontopofHennessy’sthreestarsIwasguiltywithWhelanwhenheslippedintothebed。

STEPHENInthebeginningwastheword，intheendtheworldwithoutend。Blessedbetheeightbeatitudes。

(Thebeatitudes，Dixon，Madden，Crotthers，Costello，Lenehan，Bannon，MulliganandLynchinwhitesurgicalstudents’gowns，fourabreast，goosestepping，trampfastpastinnoisymarching。)

THEBEATITUDES(Incoherently。)Beerbeefbattledogbuybullbusinumbarnumbuggerumbishop。

LYSTER(Inquakergreykneebreechesandbroadbrimmedhat，saysdiscreetly。)Heisourfriend。Ineednotmentionnames。Seekthouthelight。

(Hecorantosby。Bestentersinhairdresserattire，shinilylaundered，hislocksincurlpapers。HeleadsJohnEglintonwhowearsamandarin’skimonoofNankeenyellow，lizard-lettered，andahighpagodahat。)

BEST(Smiling，liftsthehatanddisplaysashavenpollfromthecrownofwhichbristlesapigtailtoupeetiedwithanorangetopknot。)Iwasjustbeautifyinghim，don’tyouknow。Athingofbeauty，don’tyouknow。Yeatssays，orImean，Keatssays。(Producesagreencappeddarklanternandflashesittowardsacorner；withcarpingaccent。)Estheticsandcosmeticsarefortheboudoir。Iamoutfortruth。Plaintruthforaplainman。Tanderageewantsthefactsandmeanstogetthem。

(Intheconeofthesearchlightbehindthecoalscuttle，ollave，holyeyed，thebeardedfigureofMananaanMacLirbroods，chinonknees。Herisesslowly。Acoldseawindblowsfromhisdruidmantle。Abouthisheadwritheeelsandelvers。Heisencrustedwithweedsandshells。Hisrighthandholdsabicyclepump。Hislefthandgraspsahugecrayfishbyitstwotalons。)

MANANAANMACLIR(Withavoiceofwaves。)Aum！Hek！Wal！Ak！Lub！Mor！Ma！WhiteyoghinoftheGods。OccultpimanderofHermesTrismegistos。(Withavoiceofwhistlingseawind。)Punarjanampatsypunjaub！Iwon’thavemylegpulled。Ithasbeensaidbyone:bewaretheleft，thecultofShakti。(Withacryofstormbirds。)Shakti，Shiva！DarkhiddenFather！(Hesmiteswithhisbicyclepumpthecrayfishinhislefthand。Onitsco-operativedialglowthetwelvesignsofthezodiac。Hewailswiththevehemenceoftheocean。)Aum！Baum！Pyjaum！Iamthelightofthehomestead，Iamthedreamerycreamerybutter。

(Askeletonjudashandstranglesthelight。Thegreenlightwanestomauve。Thegasjetwailswhistling。)

THEGASJETPooah！Pfuiiiiii！

(Zoerunstothechandelierand，crookingherleg，adjuststhemantle。)

ZOEWhohasafagasI’mhere？

LYNCH(Tossingacigaretteontothetable。)Here。

ZOE(Herheadperchedasideinmockpride。)Isthatthewaytohandthepottoalady？(Shestretchesuptolightthecigaretteovertheflame，twirlingitslowly，showingthebrowntuftsofherarmpits。Lynchwithhispokerliftsboldlyasideofherslip。Barefromhergartersupherfleshappearsunderthesapphireanixie’sgreen。Shepuffscalmlyathercigarette。)Canyouseethebeautyspotofmybehind？

LYNCHI’mnotlooking。

ZOE(Makessheep’seyes。)No？Youwouldn’tdoalessthing。Wouldyousuckalemon？

(SquintinginmockshamesheglanceswithsidelongmeaningatBloom，thentwistsroundtowardshim，pullingherslipfreeofthepoker。Bluefluidagainflowsoverherflesh。Bloomstands，smilingdesirously，twirlinghisthumbs。KittyRickettslickshermiddlefingerwithherspittleandgazinginthemirror，smoothsbotheyebrows。LipotiVirag，basilicogrammate，chutesrapidlydownthroughthechimneyflueandstrutstwostepstotheleftongawkypinkstilts。Heissausagedintoseveralovercoatsandwearsabrownmacintoshunderwhichheholdsarollofparchment。InhislefteyeflashesthemonocleofCashelBoyleO’ConnorFitzmauriceTisdallFarrell。OnhisheadisperchedanEgyptianpshent。Twoquillsprojectoverhisears。)

VIRAG(Heelstogetherbows。)MynameisViragLipoti，ofSzombathely。(Hecoughsthoughtfully，drily。)Promiscuousnakednessismuchinevidencehereabouts，eh？Inadvertentlyherbackviewrevealedthefactthatsheisnotwearingthoseratherintimategarmentsofwhichyouareaparticulardevotee。TheinjectionmarkonthethighIhopeyouperceived？Good。

BLOOMGranpapachi。But……

VIRAGNumbertwoontheotherhand，sheofthecherryrougeandcoiffeusewhite，whosehairowesnotalittletoourtribalelixirofgopherwood，isinwalkingcostumeandtightlystaysedbyhersit，Ishouldopine。Backboneinfront，sotosay。CorrectmebutIalwaysunderstoodthattheactsoperformedbyskittishhumanswithglimpsesoflingerieappealedtoyouinvirtueofitsexhibitionististicicity。Inaword。Hippogriff。AmIright？

BLOOMSheisratherlean。