第6章

OmniumGatherum——

Wewereonlythinkingaboutit，Stephensaid——

Allthetalents，MylesCrawfordsaid。Law，theclassics——

Theturf，Lenehanputin——

Literature，thepress——

IfBloomwerehere，theprofessorsaid。Thegentleartofadvertisement——

AndMadamBloom，MrO’MaddenBurkeadded。Thevocalmuse。Dublin’sprimefavourite。

Lenehangavealoudcough——

Ahem！hesaidverysoftly。O，forafreshofbreathair！Icaughtacoldinthepark。Thegatewasopen。

Youcandoit！

TheeditorlaidanervoushandonStephen’sshoulder——

Iwantyoutowritesomethingforme，hesaid。Somethingwithabiteinit。Youcandoit。Iseeitinyourface。Inthelexiconofyouth……

Seeitinyourface。Seeitinyoureye。Lazyidlelittleschemer——

Footandmouthdisease！theeditorcriedinscornfulinvective。GreatnationalistmeetinginBorris-in-Ossory。Allballs！Bulldosingthepublic！Givethemsomethingwithabiteinit。Putusallintoit，damnitssoul。FatherSonandHolyGhostandfakesM’Carthy——

Wecanallsupplymentalpabulum，MrO’MaddenBurkesaid。

Stephenraisedhiseyestotheboldunheedingstare——

Hewantsyouforthepressgang，J。J。O’Molloysaid。

TheGreatGallaher——

Youcandoit，MylesCrawfordrepeated，clenchinghishandinemphasis。Waitaminute。We’llparalyseEuropeasIgnatiusGallaherusedtosaywhenhewasontheshaughraun，doingbilliardmarkingintheClarence。Gallaher，thatwasapressmanforyou。Thatwasapen。Youknowhowhemadehismark？I’lltellyou。Thatwasthesmartestpieceofjournalismeverknown。Thatwasineightyone，sixthofMay，timeoftheinvincibles，murderinthePhoenixpark，beforeyouwereborn，Isuppose。I’llshowyou。

Hepushedpastthemtothefiles——

Lookathere，hesaid，turning。TheNewYorkWorldcabledforaspecial。Rememberthattime？

ProfessorMacHughnodded——

NewYorkWorld，theeditorsaid，excitedlypushingbackhisstrawhat。Whereittookplace。TimKelly，orKavanaghImean，JoeBradyandtherestofthem。WhereSkin-the-goatdrovethecar。Wholeroute，see？——

Skin-the-goat，MrO’MaddenBurkesaid。Fitzharris。Hehasthatcabman’sshelter，theysay，downthereatButtbridge。Holohantoldme。YouknowHolohan？——

Hopandcarryone，isit？MylesCrawfordsaid——

AndpoorGumleyisdowntheretoo，sohetoldme，mindingstonesforthecorporation。Anightwatchman。

Stephenturnedinsurprise——

Gumley？hesaid。Youdon’tsayso？Afriendofmyfather’s，ishe？——

NevermindGumley，MylesCrawfordcriedangrily。LetGumleymindthestones，seetheydon’trunaway。Lookathere。WhatdidIgnatiusGallaherdo？I’lltellyou。Inspirationofgenius。Cabledrightaway。HaveyouWeeklyFreemanof17March？Right。Haveyougotthat？

Heflungbackpagesofthefilesandstuckhisfingeronapoint——

Takepagefour，advertisementforBransome’scoffeeletussay。Haveyougotthat？Right。

Thetelephonewhirred。

Adistantvoice——

I’llanswerit，theprofessorsaidgoing——

Bisparkgate。Good。

Hisfingerleapedandstruckpointafterpoint，vibrating——

Tisviceregallodge。Ciswheremurdertookplace。KisKnockmaroongate。

Theloosefleshofhisneckshooklikeacock’swattles。Anillstarcheddickyjuttedupandwitharudegesturehethrustitbackintohiswaistcoat——

Hello？EveningTelegraphhere……Hello？……Who’sthere？……Yes……Yes——

FtoPistherouteSkin-the-goatdrovethecarforanalibi。Inchicore，Roundtown，WindyArbour，PalmerstonPark，Ranelagh。F。A。B。P。Gotthat？XisDavy’spublichouseinupperLeesonstreet。

Theprofessorcametotheinnerdoor——

Bloomisatthetelephone，hesaid——

Tellhimgotohell，theeditorsaidpromptly。XisBurke’spublichouse，see？

Clever，Very

Clever，Lenehansaid。Very——

Gaveittothemonahotplate，MylesCrawfordsaid，thewholebloodyhistory。

Nightmarefromwhichyouwillneverawake——

Isawit，theeditorsaidproudly。Iwaspresent，DickAdams，thebestheartedbloodyCorkmantheLordeverputthebreathoflifein，andmyself。

Lenehanbowedtoashapeofair，announcing:——

Madam，I’mAdam。AndAblewasIereIsawElba——

History！MylesCrawfordcried。TheOldWomanofPrince’sstreetwastherefirst。Therewasweepingandgnashingofteethoverthat。Outofanadvertisement。GregorGreymadethedesignforit。Thatgavehimthelegup。ThenPaddyHooperworkedTayPaywhotookhimontotheStar。Nowhe’sgotinwithBlumenfeld。That’spress。That’stalent。Pyatt！Hewasalltheirdaddies——

Thefatherofscarejournalism，Lenehanconfirmed，andthebrother-in-lawofChrisCallinan——

Hello？……Areyouthere？……Yes，he’sherestill。Comeacrossyourself——

Wheredoyoufindapressmanlikethatnow，eh？theeditorcried。Heflungthepagesdown——

Clamndever，LenehansaidtoMrO’MaddenBurke——

Verysmart，MrO’MaddenBurkesaid。

ProfessorMacHughcamefromtheinneroffice——

Talkingabouttheinvincibles，hesaid，didyouseethatsomehawkerswereupbeforetherecorder——

Oyes，J。J。O’Molloysaideagerly。LadyDudleywaswalkinghomethroughtheparktoseeallthetreesthatwereblowndownbythatcyclonelastyearandthoughtshe’dbuyaviewofDublin。AnditturnedouttobeacommemorationpostcardofJoeBradyorNumberOneorSkin-the-goat。Rightoutsidetheviceregallodge，imagine！——

They’reonlyinthehookandeyedepartment，MylesCrawfordsaid。Psha！Pressandthebar！Wherehaveyouamannowatthebarlikethosefellows，likeWhiteside，likeIsaacButt，likesilvertonguedO’Hagan？Eh？Ah，bloodynonsense！Onlyinthehalfpennyplace！

Hismouthcontinuedtotwitchunspeakinginnervouscurlsofdisdain。

Wouldanyonewishthatmouthforherkiss？Howdoyouknow？Whydidyouwriteitthen？

RhymesandReasons

Mouth，south。Isthemouthsouthsomeway？Orthesouthamouth？Mustbesome。South，pout，out，shout，drouth。Rhymes:twomendressedthesame，lookingthesame，twobytwo……latuapace……cheparlartipiace……mentrechèilvento，comefa，sitace。

Hesawthemthreebythree，approachinggirls，ingreen，inrose，inrusset，entwining，perl’aerpersoinmauve，inpurple，quellapacificaoriafiamma，ingoldoforiflamme，dirimirarfepiuardenti。ButIoldmen，penitent，leadenfooted，underdarkneaththenight:mouthsouth:tombwomb——

Speakupforyourself，MrO’MaddenBurkesaid。

SufficientfortheDay……

J。J。O’Molloy，smilingpalely，tookupthegage——

MydearMyles，hesaid，flinginghiscigaretteaside，youputafalseconstructiononmywords。Iholdnobrief，asatpresentadvised，forthethirdprofessionquaprofessionbutyourCorklegsarerunningawaywithyou。WhynotbringinHenryGrattanandFloodandDemosthenesandEdmundBurke？IgnatiusGallaherweallknowandhisChapelizodboss，Harmsworthofthefarthingpress，andhisAmericancousinoftheBoweryguttersheetnottomentionPaddyKelly’sBudget，Pue’sOccurrencesandourwatchfulfriendTheSkibereenEagle。WhybringinamasterofforensiceloquencelikeWhiteside？Sufficientforthedayisthenewspaperthereof。

LinkswithBygoneDaysofYore

GrattanandFloodwroteforthisverypaper，theeditorcriedinhisface。Irishvolunteers。Whereareyounow？Established1763。DrLucas。WhohaveyounowlikeJohnPhilpotCurran？Psha！——

Well，J。J。O’Molloysaid，BusheK。C。，forexample——

Bushe？theeditorsaid。Well，yes。Bushe，yes。Hehasastrainofitinhisblood。KendalBusheorImeanSeymourBushe——

Hewouldhavebeenonthebenchlongago，theprofessorsaid，onlyfor……Butnomatter。

J。J。O’MolloyturnedtoStephenandsaidquietlyandslowly:——

OneofthemostpolishedperiodsIthinkIeverlistenedtoinmylifefellfromthelipsofSeymourBushe。Itwasinthatcaseoffratricide，theChildsmurdercase。Bushedefendedhim。

Andintheporchesofmineeardidpour。

Bythewayhowdidhefindthatout？Hediedinhissleep。Ortheotherstory，beastwithtwobacks？——

Whatwasthat？theprofessorasked。

Italia，MagistraArtium——

Hespokeonthelawofevidence，J。J。O’Molloysaid，ofRomanjusticeascontrastedwiththeearlierMosaiccode，thelextalionis。AndhecitedtheMosesofMichelangelointheVatican——

Ha——

Afewwellchosenwords，Lenehanprefaced。Silence！

Pause。J。J。O’Molloytookouthiscigarettecase。Falselull。Somethingquiteordinary。

Messengertookouthismatchboxthoughtfullyandlithiscigar。

Ihaveoftenthoughtsinceonlookingbackoverthatstrangetimethatitwasthatsmallact，trivialinitself，thatstrikingofthatmatch，thatdeterminedthewholeaftercourseofbothourlives。

APolishedPeriod

J。J。O’Molloyresumed，mouldinghiswords:——

Hesaidofit:thatstonyeffigyinfrozenmusic，hornedandterrible，ofthehumanformdivine，thateternalsymbolofwisdomandprophecywhichifaughtthattheimaginationorthehandofsculptorhaswroughtinmarbleofsoultransfiguredandofsoultransfiguringdeservestolive，deservestolive。

Hisslimhandwithawavegracedechoandfall——

Fine！MylesCrawfordsaidatonce——

Thedivineafflatus，MrO’MaddenBurkesaid——

Youlikeit？J。J。O’MolloyaskedStephen。

Stephen，hisbloodwooedbygraceoflanguageandgesture，blushed。Hetookacigarettefromthecase。J。J。O’MolloyofferedhiscasetoMylesCrawford。Lenehanlittheircigarettesasbeforeandtookhistrophy，saying:——

Muchibusthankibus。

AManofHighMorale——

ProfessorMagenniswasspeakingtomeaboutyou，J。J。O’MolloysaidtoStephen。Whatdoyouthinkreallyofthathermeticcrowd，theopalhushpoets:A。E。themastermystic？ThatBlavatskywomanstartedit。Shewasaniceoldbagoftricks。A。E。hasbeentellingsomeyankeeinterviewerthatyoucametohiminthesmallhoursofthemorningtoaskhimaboutplanesofconsciousness。MagennisthinksyoumusthavebeenpullingA。E。’sleg。Heisamanoftheveryhighestmorale，Magennis。

Speakingaboutme。Whatdidhesay？Whatdidhesay？Whatdidhesayaboutme？Don’task——

No，thanks，professorMacHughsaid，wavingthecigarettecaseaside。Waitamoment。Letmesayonething。ThefinestdisplayoforatoryIeverheardwasaspeechmadebyJohnF。Tayloratthecollegehistoricalsociety。MrJusticeFitzgibbon，thepresentlordjusticeofappeal，hadspokenandthepaperunderdebatewasanessay(newforthosedays)，advocatingtherevivaloftheIrishtongue。

HeturnedtowardsMylesCrawfordandsaid:——

YouknowGeraldFitzgibbon。Thenyoucanimaginethestyleofhisdiscourse——

HeissittingwithTimHealy，J。J。O’Molloysaid，rumourhasit，ontheTrinitycollegeestatescommission——

Heissittingwithasweetthinginachild’sfrock，MylesCrawfordsaid。Goon。Well？——

Itwasthespeech，markyou，theprofessorsaid，ofafinishedorator，fullofcourteoushaughtinessandpouringinchasteneddiction，Iwillnotsaythevialsofhiswrathbutpouringtheproudman’scontumelyuponthenewmovement。Itwasthenanewmovement。Wewereweak，thereforeworthless。

Heclosedhislongthinlipsaninstantbut，eagertobeon，raisedanoutspannedhandtohisspectaclesand，withtremblingthumbandringfingertouchinglightlytheblackrims，steadiedthemtoanewfocus。

Impromptu

InferialtoneheaddressedJ。J。O’Molloy:——

Taylorhadcomethere，youmustknow，fromasickbed。ThathehadpreparedhisspeechIdonotbelievefortherewasnotevenoneshorthandwriterinthehall。Hisdarkleanfacehadagrowthofshaggybeardroundit。Heworealooseneckclothandaltogetherhelooked(thoughhewasnot)adyingman。

HisgazeturnedatoncebutslowlyfromJ。J。O’Molloy’stowardsStephen’sfaceandthenbentatoncetotheground，seeking。Hisunglazedlinencollarappearedbehindhisbenthead，soiledbyhiswitheringhair。Stillseeking，hesaid:——

WhenFitzgibbon’sspeechhadendedJohnF。Taylorrosetoreply。Briefly，aswellasIcanbringthemtomind，hiswordswerethese。

Heraisedhisheadfirmly。Hiseyesbethoughtthemselvesoncemore。Witlessshellfishswaminthegrosslensestoandfro，seekingoutlet。

Hebegan:——

MrChairman，ladiesandgentlemen:GreatwasmyadmirationinlisteningtotheremarksaddressedtotheyouthofIrelandamomentsincebymylearnedfriend。ItseemedtomethatIhadbeentransportedintoacountryfarawayfromthiscountry，intoanageremotefromthisage，thatIstoodinancientEgyptandthatIwaslisteningtothespeechofsomehighpriestofthatlandaddressedtotheyouthfulMoses。

Hislistenersheldtheircigarettespoisedtohear，theirsmokeascendinginfrailstalksthatfloweredwithhisspeech。Andletourcrookedsmokes。Noblewordscoming。Lookout。Couldyoutryyourhandatityourself？——

AnditseemedtomethatIheardthevoiceofthatEgyptianhighpriestraisedinatoneoflikehaughtinessandlikepride。Iheardhiswordsandtheirmeaningwasrevealedtome。

FromtheFathers

Itwasrevealedtomethatthosethingsaregoodwhichyetarecorruptedwhichneitheriftheyweresupremelygoodnorunlesstheyweregoodcouldbecorrupted。Ah，curseyou！That’ssaintAugustine——

Whywillyoujewsnotacceptourculture，ourreligionandourlanguage？Youareatribeofnomadherdsmen；weareamightypeople。Youhavenocitiesnornowealth:ourcitiesarehivesofhumanityandourgalleys，triremeandquadrireme，ladenwithallmannermerchandisefurrowthewatersoftheknownglobe。Youhavebutemergedfromprimitiveconditions:wehavealiterature，apriesthood，anagelonghistoryandapolity。

Nile。

Child，man，effigy。

BytheNilebankthebabemarieskneel，cradleofbulrushes:amansuppleincombat:stonehorned，stonebearded，heartofstone——

Youpraytoalocalandobscureidol:ourtemples，majesticandmysterious，aretheabodesofIsisandOsiris，ofHorusandAmmonRa。Yoursserfdom，aweandhumbleness:oursthunderandtheseas。Israelisweakandfewareherchildren:Egyptisanhostandterribleareherarms。Vagrantsanddaylabourersareyoucalled:theworldtremblesatourname。

Adumbbelchofhungerclefthisspeech。Heliftedhisvoiceaboveitboldly:——

But，ladiesandgentlemen，hadtheyouthfulMoseslistenedtoandacceptedthatviewoflife，hadhebowedhisheadandbowedhiswillandbowedhisspiritbeforethatarrogantadmonitionhewouldneverhavebroughtthechosenpeopleoutoftheirhouseofbondagenorfollowedthepillarofthecloudbyday。HewouldneverhavespokenwiththeEternalamidlightningsonSinai’smountaintopnoreverhavecomedownwiththelightofinspirationshininginhiscountenanceandbearinginhisarmsthetablesofthelaw，graveninthelanguageoftheoutlaw。

Heceasedandlookedatthem，enjoyingsilence。

Ominous-forHim！

J。J。O’Molloysaidnotwithoutregret:——

Andyethediedwithouthavingenteredthelandofpromise——

Asudden-at-the-moment-though-from-lingering-illness-often-previously-expectorated-demise，Lenehansaid。Andwithagreatfuturebehindhim。

Thetroopofbarefeetwasheardrushingalongthehallwayandpatteringupthestaircase——

Thatisoratory，theprofessorsaid，uncontradicted。

Gonewiththewind。HostsatMullaghmastandTaraofthekings。Milesofearsofporches。Thetribune’swordshowledandscatteredtothefourwinds。Apeopleshelteredwithinhisvoice。Deadnoise。Akasicrecordsofallthateveranywherewhereverwas。Loveandlaudhim:menomore

Ihavemoney——

Gentlemen，Stephensaid。AsthenextmotionontheagendapapermayIsuggestthatthehousedonowadjourn？——

Youtakemybreathaway。ItisnotperchanceaFrenchcompliment？MrO’MaddenBurkeasked。’Tisthehour，methinks，whenthewinejug，metaphoricallyspeaking，ismostgratefulinYeancienthostelry——

Thatitbeandherebyisresolutelyresolved。Allwhoareinfavoursayay，Lenehanannounced。Thecontraryno。Ideclareitcarried。Towhichparticularboosingshed？……Mycastingvoteis:Mooney’s！

Heledtheway，admonishing:——

Wewillsternlyrefusetopartakeofstrongwaters，willwenot？Yes，wewillnot。Bynomannerofmeans。

MrO’MaddenBurke，followingclose，saidwithanally’slungeofhisumbrella:——

Layon，Macduff！——

Chipoftheoldblock！theeditorcried，slappingStephenontheshoulder。Letusgo。Wherearethoseblastedkeys？

Hefumbledinhispocket，pullingoutthecrushedtypesheets——

Footandmouth。Iknow。That’llbeallright。That’llgo

in。Wherearethey？That’sallright。

Hethrustthesheetsbackandwentintotheinneroffice。

LetUsHope

J。J。O’Molloy，abouttofollowhimin，saidquietlytoStephen:——

Ihopeyouwilllivetoseeitpublished。Myles，onemoment。

Hewentintotheinneroffice，closingthedoorbehindhim——

Comealong，Stephen，theprofessorsaid。Thatisfine，isn’tit？Ithasthepropheticvision。FuitIlium！ThesackofwindyTroy。Kingdomsofthisworld。ThemastersoftheMediterraneanarefellaheentoday。

Thefirstnewsboycamepatteringdownthestairsattheirheelsandrushedoutintothestreet，yelling:——

Racingspecial！

Dublin。Ihavemuch，muchtolearn。

TheyturnedtotheleftalongAbbeystreet——

Ihaveavisiontoo，Stephensaid——

Yes，theprofessorsaid，skippingtogetintostep。Crawfordwillfollow。

Anothernewsboyshotpastthem，yellingasheran:——

Racingspecial！

DearDirtyDublin

Dubliners——

TwoDublinvestals，Stephensaid，elderlyandpious，havelivedfiftyandfiftythreeyearsinFumbally’slane——

Whereisthat？theprofessorasked——

OffBlackpitts。

Dampnightreekingofhungrydough。Againstthewall。Faceglisteningtallowunderherfustianshawl。Frantichearts。Akasicrecords。Quicker，darlint！

Onnow。Dareit。Lettherebelife——

TheywanttoseetheviewsofDublinfromthetopofNelson’spillar。Theysaveupthreeandtenpenceinaredtinletterboxmoneybox。Theyshakeoutthethreepennybitsandasixpenceandcoaxoutthepennieswiththebladeofaknife。Twoandthreeinsilverandoneandsevenincoppers。Theyputontheirbonnetsandbestclothesandtaketheirumbrellasforfearitmaycomeontorain——

Wisevirgins，professorMacHughsaid。

LifeontheRaw——

TheybuyoneandfourpenceworthofbrawnandfourslicesofpanloafatthenorthcitydiningroomsinMarlboroughstreetfromMissKateCollins，proprietress……Theypurchase-ourandtwentyripeplumsfromagirlatthefootofNelson’spillartotakeoffthethirstofthebrawn。Theygivetwothreepennybitstothegentlemanattheturnstileandbegintowaddleslowlyupthewindingstaircase，grunting，encouragingeachother，afraidofthedark，panting，oneaskingtheotherhaveyouthebrawn，praisingGodandtheBlessedVirgin，threateningtocomedown，peepingattheairslits。GlorybetoGod。Theyhadnoideaitwasthathigh。

TheirnamesareAnneKearnsandFlorenceMacCabe。AnneKearnshasthelumbagoforwhichsherubsonLourdeswatergivenherbyaladywhogotabottlefulfromapassionistfather。FlorenceMacCabetakesacrubeenandabottleofdoubleXforsuppereverySaturday——

Antithesis，theprofessorsaid，noddingtwice。Vestalvirgins。Icanseethem。What’skeepingourfriend？

Heturned。

Abevyofscamperingnewsboysrusheddownthesteps，scamperinginalldirections，yelling，theirwhitepapersfluttering。HardafterthemMylesCrawfordappearedonthesteps，hishataureolinghisscarletface，talkingwithJ。J。O’Molloy——

Comealong，theprofessorcried，wavinghisarm。

HesetoffagaintowalkbyStephen’sside。

ReturnofBloom——

Yes，hesaid。Iseethem——

MrBloom，breathless，caughtinawhirlofwildnewsboysneartheofficesoftheIrishCatholicandDublinPennyJournal，called:——

MrCrawford！Amoment！——

Telegraph！Racingspecial！——

Whatisit？MylesCrawfordsaid，fallingbackapace。AnewsboycriedinMrBloom’sface:——

TerribletragedyinRathmines！Achildbitbyabellows！

InterviewwiththeEditor

Justthisad，MrBloomsaid，pushingthroughtowardsthesteps，puffing，andtakingthecuttingfromhispocket。IspokewithMrKeyesjustnow。He’llgivearenewalfortwomonths，hesays。Afterhe’llsee。ButhewantsapartocallattentionintheTelegraphtoo，theSaturdaypink。Andhewantsitifit’snottoolateItoldcouncillorNannettifromtheKilkennyPeople。Icanhaveaccesstoitinthenationallibrary。Houseofkeys，don’tyousee？HisnameisKeyes。It’saplayonthename。Buthepracticallypromisedhe’dgivetherenewal。Buthewantsjustalittlepuff。WhatwillItellhim，MrCrawford？

K。M。A。

Willyoutellhimhecankissmyarse？MylesCrawfordsaid，throwingouthisarmforemphasis。Tellhimthatstraightfromthestable。

Abitnervy。Lookoutforsqualls。Alloffforadrink。Arminarm。Lenehan’syachtingcaponthecadgebeyond。Usualblarney。WonderisthatyoungDedalusthemovingspirit。Hasagoodpairofbootsonhimtoday。timeIsawhimhehadhisheelsonview。Beenwalkinginmucksomewhere。Carelesschap。WhatwashedoinginIrishtown？——

Well，MrBloomsaid，hiseyesreturning，ifIcangetthedesignIsupposeit’sworthashortpar。He’dgivetheadIthink。I’lltellhim——

HecankissmyroyalIrisharse，MylesCrawfordcriedloudlyoverhisshoulder。Anytimehelikes，tellhim。

WhileMrBloomstoodweighingthepointandabouttosmilehestrodeonjerkily。

RaisingtheWind——

Nullabona，Jack，hesaid，raisinghishandtohischin。I’muptohere。I’vebeenthroughthehoopmyself。Iwaslookingforafellowtobackabillformenolaterthanlastweek。Youmusttakethewillforthedeed。Sorry，Jack。WithaheartandahalfifIcouldraisethewindanyhow。

J。J。O’Molloypulledalongfaceandwalkedonsilently。Theycaughtupontheothersandwalkedabreast——

Whentheyhaveeatenthebrawnandthebreadandwipedtheirtwentyfingersinthepaperthebeardwaswrappedin，theygonearertotherailings——

Somethingforyou，theprofessorexplainedtoMylesCrawford。TwooldDublinwomenonthetopofNelson’spillar。

SomeColumn！-That’sWhatWaddlerOneSaid——

That’snew，MylesCrawfordsaid。That’scopy。Outforthewaxies’Dargle。Twooldtrickies，what？——

Buttheyareafraidthepillarwillfall，Stephenwenton。Theyseetheroofsandargueaboutwherethedifferentchurchesare:Rathmines’bluedome，AdamandEve’s，saintLaurenceO’Toole’s。Butitmakesthemgiddytolooksotheypulluptheirskirts……

ThoseSlightlyRambunctiousFemales——

Easyall，MylesCrawfordsaid，nopoeticlicence。We’reinthearchdiocesehere——

Andsettledownontheirstripedpetticoats，peeringupatthestatueoftheonehandledadulterer——

Onehandledadulterer！theprofessorcried。Ilikethat。Iseetheidea。Iseewhatyoumean。

DamesDonateDublin’sCitsSpeedpillsVelocitousAeroliths，Belief——

Itgivesthemacrickintheirnecks，Stephensaid，andtheyaretootiredtolookupordownortospeak。Theyputthebagofplumsbetweenthemandeattheplumsoutofitoneafteranother，wipingoffwiththeirhandkerchiefstheplumjuicethatdribblesoutoftheirmouthsandspittingtheplumstonesslowlyoutbetweentherailings。

Hegaveasuddenloudyounglaughasaclose。LenehanandMrO’MaddenBurke，hearing，turned，beckonedandledonacrosstowardsMooney’s——

Finished？MylesCrawfordsaid。Solongastheydonoworse。

SophistWallopsHaughtyHelenSquareonProboscis。SpartansGnashMolars。IthacansVowPenisChamp——

YouremindmeofAntisthenes，theprofessorsaid，adiscipleofGorgias，thesophist。Itissaidofhimthatnonecouldtellifhewerebittereragainstothersoragainsthimself。Hewasthesonofanobleandabondwoman。AndhewroteabookinwhichhetookawaythepalmofbeautyfromArgiveHelenandhandedittopoorPenelope。

PoorPenelope。PenelopeRich。

TheymadereadytocrossO’Connellstreet。

HelloThere，Central！

Atvariouspointsalongtheeightlinestramcarswithmotionlesstrolleysstoodintheirtracks，boundfororfromRathmines，Rathfarnham，Blackrock，KingstownandDalkey，SandymountGreen，RingsendandSandymountTower，Donnybrook，PalmerstonParkandUpperRathmines，allstill，becalmedinshortcircuit。Hackneycars，cabs，deliverywaggons，mail-vans，privatebroughams，aeratedmineralwaterfloatswithrattlingcratesofbottles，rattled，lolled，horsedrawn，rapidly。

What？-andLikewise-Where？——

Butwhatdoyoucallit？MylesCrawfordasked。Wheredidtheygettheplums？

Virgilian，SaysPedagogue。SophomorePlumpsforOldManMoses——

Callit，wait，theprofessorsaid，openinghislonglipswidetoreflect。Callit，letmesee。Callit:deusnobishcotiafecit——

No，Stephensaid，IcallitAPisgahSightofPalestineortheParableofthePlums——

Isee，theprofessorsaid。

Helaughedrichly——

Isee，hesaidagainwithnewpleasure。Mosesandthepromisedland。Wegavehimthatidea，headdedtoJ。J。O’Molloy。

HoratioisCynosurethisFairJuneDay

J。J。O’Molloysentawearysidelongglancecowardsthestatueandheldhispeace——

Isee，theprofessorsaid。

HehaltedonsirJohnGray’spavementislandandpeeredaloftatNelsonthroughthemeshesofhiswrysmile。

DiminishedDigitsProveTooTitillatingforFriskyFrumps。AnneWimbles，FloWangles-YetCanYouBlameThem？——

Onehandledadulterer，hesaidgrimly。ThatticklesmeImustsay——Tickledtheoldonestoo，MylesCrawfordsaid，iftheGodAlmighty’struthwasknown。

Lestrygonians

PINEAPPLEROCK，LEMONPLATT，BUTTERSCOTCH。ASUGARSTICKYGIRLshovellingscoopfulsofcreamsforachristianbrother。Someschooltreat。Badfortheirtummies。LozengeandcomfitmanufacturertoHisMajestytheKing。God。Save。Our。Sittingonhisthrone，suckingredjujubeswhite。

AsombreY。M。C。A。youngman，watchfulamongthewarmsweetfumesofGrahamLemon’s，placedathrowawayinahandofMrBloom。

Hearttohearttalks。

Bloo……Me？No。

BloodoftheLamb。

Hisslowfeetwalkedhimriverward，reading。Areyousaved？Allarewashedinthebloodofthelamb。Godwantsbloodvictim。Birth，hymen，martyr，war，foundationofabuilding，sacrifice，kidneyburntoffering，druid’saltars。Elijahiscoming。DrJohnAlexanderDowie，restorerofthechurchinZion，iscoming。

Iscoming！Iscoming！！Iscoming！！！

Allheartilywelcome。

Payinggame。TorryandAlexanderlastyear。Polygamy。Hiswifewillputthestopperonthat。WherewasthatadsomeBirminghamfirmtheluminouscrucifix？OurSaviour。Wakeupinthedeadofnightandseehimonthewall，hanging。Pepper’sghostidea。Ironnailsranin。

Phosphorusitmustbedonewith。Ifyouleaveabitofcodfishforinstance。Icouldseetheblueysilveroverit。NightIwentdowntothepantryinthekitchen。Don’tlikeallthesmellsinitwaitingtorushout。Whatwasitshewanted？TheMalagaraisins。ThinkingofSpain。BeforeRudywasborn。Thephosphorescence，thatblueygreeny。Verygoodforthebrain。

FromButler’smonumenthousecornerheglancedalongBachelor’swalk。Dedalus’daughtertherestilloutsideDillon’sauctionrooms。Mustbesellingoffsomeoldfurniture。Knewhereyesatoncefromthefather。Lobbingaboutwaitingforhim。Homealwaysbreaksupwhenthemothergoes。Fifteenchildrenhehad。Birtheveryyearalmost。That’sintheirtheologyorthepriestwon’tgivethepoorwomantheconfession，theabsolution。Increaseandmultiply。Didyoueverhearsuchanidea？Eatyououtofhouseandhome。Nofamiliesthemselvestofeed。Livingonthefatoftheland。Theirbutteriesandlarders。I’dliketoseethemdotheblackfastYomKippur。Crossbuns。Onemealandacollationforfearhe’dcollapseonthealtar。AhousekeeperofoneofthosefellowsIfyoucouldpickitoutofher。Neverpickitoutofher。LikegettingL。s。d。outofhim。Doeshimselfwell。Noguests。Allfornumberone。Watchinghiswater。Bringyourownbreadandbutter。Hisreverence。Mum’stheword。

GoodLord，thatpoorchild’sdressisinflitters。Underfedshelookstoo。Potatoesandmarge，margeandpotatoes。It’saftertheyfeelit。Proofofthepudding。Underminestheconstitution。

AshesetfootonO’Connellbridgeapuffballofsmokeplumedupfromtheparapet。Brewerybargewithexportstout。England。Seaairsoursit，Iheard。BeinterestingsomedaygetapassthroughHancocktoseethebrewery。Regularworldinitself。Vatsofporter，wonderful。Ratsgetintoo。Drinkthemselvesbloatedasbigasacolliefloating。Deaddrunkontheporter。Drinktilltheypukeagainlikechristians。Imaginedrinkingthat！Rats:vats。Wellofcourseifweknewallthethings。

Lookingdownhesawflappingstrongly，wheelingbetweenthegauntquaywalls，gulls。Roughweatheroutside。IfIthrewmyselfdown？ReubenJ’ssonmusthaveswallowedagoodbellyfulofthatsewage。Oneandeightpencetoomuch。Hhhhm。It’sthedrollwayhecomesoutwiththethings。Knowshowtotellastorytoo。

Theywheeledlower。Lookingforgrub。Wait。

Hethrewdownamongthemacrumpledpaperball。Elijahthirtytwofeetperseciscom。Notabit。Theballbobbedunheededonthewakeofswells，floatedunderbythebridgepiers。Notsuchdamnfools。AlsothedayIthrewthatstalecakeoutoftheErin’sKingpickeditupinthewakefiftyyardsastern。Livebytheirwits。Theywheeled，flapping。

Thehungryfamishedgull

Flapso’erthewatersdull。

Thatishowpoetswrite，thesimilarsounds。ButthenShakespearehasnorhymes:blankverse。Theflowofthelanguageitis。Thethoughts。Solemn。

Hamlet，Iamthyfather’sspirit

Doomedforacertaintimetowalktheearth——

Twoapplesapenny！Twoforapenny！

Hisgazepassedovertheglazedapplesserriedonherstand。Australianstheymustbethistimeofyear。Shinypeels:polishesthemupwitharagorahandkerchief。

Wait。Thosepoorbirds。

HehaltedagainandboughtfromtheoldapplewomantwoBanburycakesforapennyandbrokethebrittlepasteandthrewitsfragmentsdownintotheLiffey。Seethat？Thegullsswoopedsilentlytwo，thenall，fromtheirheights，pouncingonprey。Gone。Everymorsel。

Awareoftheirgreedandcunningheshookthepowderycrumbfromhishands。Theyneverexpectedthat。Manna。Liveonfishyfleshtheyhaveto，allseabirds，gulls，seagoose。SwansfromAnnaLiffeyswimdownheresometimestopreenthemselves。Noaccountingfortastes。Wonderwhatkindisswanmeat。RobinsonCrusoehadtoliveonthem。

Theywheeled，flappingweakly。I’mnotgoingtothrowanymore。Pennyquiteenough。LotofthanksIget。Notevenacaw。Theyspreadfootandmouthdiseasetoo。Ifyoucramaturkey，say，onchestnutmealittasteslikethat。Eatpiglikepig。Butthenwhyisitthatsaltwaterfisharenotsalty？Howisthat？

Hiseyessoughtanswerfromtheriverandsawarowboatrockatanchoronthetreaclyswellslazilyitsplasteredboard。

Kino’s

11/-

Trousers。

Goodideathat。Wonderifhepaysrenttothecorporation。Howcanyouownwaterreally？It’salwaysflowinginastream，neverthesame，whichinthestreamoflifewetrace。Becauselifeisastream。Allkindofplacesaregoodforads。Thatquackdoctorfortheclapusedtobestuckupinallthegreenhouses。Neverseeitnow。Strictlyconfidential。DrHyFranks。Didn’tcosthimaredlikeMaginnithedancingmasterselfadvertisement。Gotfellowstostickthemuporstickthemuphimselfforthatmatterontheq。t。runningintoloosenabutton。Flybynight。Justtheplacetoo。POSTNOBILLS。POST110PILLS。Somechapwithadoseburninghim。

Ifhe……

O！

Eh？

No……No。

No，no。Idon’tbelieveit。Hewouldn’tsurely？

No，no。

MrBloommovedforwardraisinghistroubledeyes。Thinknomoreaboutthat。Afterone。Timeballontheballastofficeisdown。Dunsinktime。FascinatinglittlebookthatisofsirRobertBall’s。Parallax。Ineverexactlyunderstood。There’sapriest。Couldaskhim。Parit’sGreek:parallel，parallax。MethimpikehosesshecalledittillItoldheraboutthetransmigration。Orocks！

MrBloomsmiledOrocksattwowindowsoftheballastoffice。She’srightafterall。Onlybigwordsforordinarythingsonaccountofthesound。She’snotexactlywitty。Canberudetoo。BlurtoutwhatIwasthinking。StillIdon’tknow。SheusedtosayBenDollardhadabasebarreltonevoice。Hehaslegslikebarrelsandyou’dthinkhewassingingintoabarrel。Now，isn’tthatwit？TheyusedtocallhimbigBen。Nothalfaswittyascallinghimbasebarreltone。Appetitelikeanalbatross。Getoutsideofabaronofbeef。PowerfulmanhewasatstoringawaynumberoneBass。BarrelofBass。See？itallworksout。

Aprocessionofwhitesmockedmenmarchedslowlytowardshimalongthegutter，scarletsashesacrosstheirboards。Bargains。Likethatpriesttheyarethismorning:wehavesinned:wehavesuffered。Hereadthescarletlettersontheirfivetallwhitehats:H。E。L。Y。S。WisdomHely’s。Ylaggingbehinddrewachunkofbreadfromunderhisforeboard，crammeditintohismouthandmunchedashewalked。Ourstaplefood。Threebobaday，walkingalongthegutters，streetafterstreet。Justkeepskinandbonetogether，breadandskilly。TheyarenotBoyl:no:M’Glade’smen。Doesn’tbringinanybusinesseither。Isuggestedtohimaboutatransparentshowcartwithtwosmartgirlssittinginsidewritingletters，copybooks，envelopes，blottingpaper。Ibetthatwouldhavecaughton。Smartgirlswritingsomethingcatchtheeyeatonce。Everyonedyingtoknowwhatshe’swriting。Gettwentyofthemroundyouifyoustareatnothing。Haveafingerinthepie。Womentoo。Curiosity。Pillarofsalt，Wouldn’thaveitofcoursebecausehedidn’tthinkofithimselffirst。OrtheinkbottleIsuggestedwithafalsestainofblackcelluloid。HisideasforadslikePlumtree’spottedundertheobituaries，coldmeatdepartment。Youcan’tlick’em。What？Ourenvelopes。Hello！Jones，whereareyougoing？Can’tstop，Robinson，IamhasteningtopurchasetheonlyreliableinkeraserKansell，soldbyHely’sLtd，85DameStreet。WelloutofthatruckIam。Devilofajobitwascollectingaccountsofthoseconvents。Tranquillaconvent。Thatwasanicenunthere，reallysweetface。Wimplesuitedhersmallhead。Sister？Sister？Iamsureshewascrossedinlovebyhereyes。Veryhardtobargainwiththatsortofwoman。Idisturbedheratherdevotionsthatmorning。Butgladtocommunicatewiththeoutsideworld。Ourgreatday，shesaid。FeastofOurLadyofMountCarmel。Sweetnametoo:caramel。Sheknew，Ithinksheknewbythewayshe。Ifshehadmarriedshewouldhavechanged。Isupposetheyreallywereshortofmoney。Friedeverythinginthebestbutterallthesame。Nolardforthem。Myheart’sbrokeeatingdripping。Theylikebutteringthemselvesinandout。Mollytastingit，herveilup。Sister？PatClaffey，thepawnbroker’sdaughter。Itwasanuntheysayinventedbarbedwire。

HecrossedWestmorelandstreetwhenapostropheShadploddedby。Rovercycleshop。Thoseracesareontoday。Howlongagoisthat？YearPhilGilligandied。WewereinLombardstreetwest。Wait，wasinThom’s。GotthejobinWisdomHely’syearwemarried。Sixyears。Tenyearsago:ninetyfourhedied，yesthat’sright，thebigfireatArnott’s。ValDillonwaslordmayor。TheGlencreedinner。AldermanRobertO’Reillyemptyingtheportintohissoupbeforetheflagfell，Bobboblappingitfortheinneralderman。Couldn’thearwhatthebandplayed。ForwhatwehavealreadyreceivedmaytheLordmakeus。Millywasakiddythen。Mollyhadthatelephantgreydresswiththebraidedfrogs。Mantailoredwithself-coveredbuttons。Shedidn’tlikeitbecauseIsprainedmyanklefirstdaysheworechoirpicnicattheSugarloaf。Asifthat。OldGoodwin’stallhatdoneupwithsomestickystuff。Flies’picnictoo。Neverputadressonherbacklikeit。Fittedherlikeaglove，shoulderandhips。Justbeginningtoplumpitoutwell。Rabbitpiewehadthatday。Peoplelookingafterher。

Happy。Happierthen。Snuglittleroomthatwaswiththeredwallpaper，Dockrell’s，oneandninepenceadozen。Milly’stubbingnight。AmericansoapIbought:elderflower。Cosysmellofherbathwater。Funnyshelookedsoapedallover。Shapelytoo。Nowphotography。Poorpapa’sdaguerreotypeatelierhetoldmeof。Hereditarytaste。

Hewalkedalongthecurbstone。

Streamoflife。Whatwasthenameofthatpriestylookingchapwasalwayssquintinginwhenhepassed？Weakeyes，woman。StoppedinCitron’ssaintKevin’sparade。Pensomething。Pendennis？Mymemoryisgetting。Pen……？Ofcourseit’syearsago。Noiseofthetramsprobably。Well，ifhecouldn’trememberthedayfather’snamethatheseeseveryday。

Bartelld’Arcywasthetenor，justcomingoutthen。Seeingherhomeafterpractice。Conceitedfellowwithhiswaxedupmoustache。GaveherthatsongWindsthatblowfromthesouth。

WindynightthatwasIwenttofetchhertherewasthatlodgemeetingonaboutthoselotteryticketsafterGoodwin’sconcertinthesupperroomoroakroomofthemansionhouse。HeandIbehind。Sheetofhermusicblewoutofmyhandagainstthehighschoolrailings。Luckyitdidn’t。Thinglikethatspoilstheeffectofanightforher。ProfessorGoodwinlinkingherinfront。Shakyonhispins，pooroldsot。Hisfarewellconcerts。Positivelylastappearanceonanystage。Maybeformonthsandmaybefornever。Rememberherlaughingatthewind，herblizzardcollarup。CornerofHarcourtroadrememberthatgust？Brrfoo！BlewupallherskirtsandherboanearlysmotheredoldGoodwin。Shedidgetflushedinthewind。RememberwhenwegothomerakingupthefireandfryingupthosepiecesoflapofmuttonforhersupperwiththeChutneysaucesheliked。Andthemulledrum。Couldseeherinthebedroomfromthehearthunclampingthebuskofherstays。White。

Swishandsoftflopherstaysmadeonthebed。Alwayswarmfromher。Alwayslikedtoletherselfout。Sittingthereaftertillneartwo，takingoutherhairpins。Millytuckedupinbeddyhouse。Happy。Happy。Thatwasthenight——

O，MrBloom，howdoyoudo？——

Oh，howdoyoudo，MrsBreen？——

Nousecomplaining。HowisMollythosetimes？Haven’tseenherforages——

Inthepink，MrBloomsaidgaily，MillyhasapositiondowninMullingar，youknow——

Goaway！Isn’tthatgrandforher？——

Yes，inaphotographer’sthere。Gettingonlikeahouseonfire。Howareallyourcharges？——

Allonthebaker’slist，MrsBreensaid。

Howmanyhasshe？Nootherinsight——

You’reinblackIsee。Youhaveno——

No，MrBloomsaid。Ihavejustcomefromafuneral。

Goingtocropupallday，Iforesee。Who’sdead，whenandwhatdidhedieof？Turnuplikeabadpenny——

odearme，MrsBreensaid，Ihopeitwasn’tanynearrelation。

Mayaswellgethersympathy——

Dignam，MrBloomsaid。Anoldfriendofmine。Hediedquitesuddenly，poorfellow。Hearttrouble，Ibelieve。Funeralwasthismorning。

Yourfuneral’stomorrow

Whileyou’recomingthroughtherye。

Diddlediddledumdum

Diddlediddle——

Sadtolosetheoldfriends，MrsBreen’swomaneyessaidmelancholily。

Nowthat’squiteenoughaboutthat。Justquietly:husband——

Andyourlordandmaster？

MrsBreenturneduphertwolargeeyes。Hasn’tlostthemanyhow——

O，don’tbetalking，shesaid。He’sacautiontorattlesnakes。He’sintherenowwithhislawbooksfindingoutthelawoflibel。Hehasmeheartscalded。WaittillIshowyou。

HotmockturtlevapourandsteamofnewbakedjampuffsrolypolypouredoutfromHarrison’s。TheheavynoonreektickledthetopofMrBloom’sgullet。Wanttomakegoodpastry，butter，bestflour，Demerarasugar，orthey’dtasteitwiththehottea。Orisitfromher？Abarefootarabstoodoverthegrating，breathinginthefumes。Deadenthegnawofhungerthatway。Pleasureorpainisit？Pennydinner。Knifeandforkchainedtothetable。

Openingherhandbag，chippedleather，hatpin:oughttohaveaguardonthosethings。Stickitinachap’seyeinthetram。Rummaging。Open。Money。Pleasetakeone。Devilsiftheylosesixpence。RaiseCain。Husbandbarging。Where’sthetenshillingsIgaveyouonMonday？Areyoufeedingyourlittlebrother’sfamily？Soiledhandkerchief:medicinebottle。Pastilethatwasfell。Whatisshe？——

Theremustbeanewmoonout，shesaid。He’salwaysbadthen。Doyouknowwhathedidlastnight？

Herhandceasedtorummage。Hereyesfixedthemselvesonhimwideinalarm，yetsmiling——

What？MrBloomasked。

Letherspeak。Lookstraightinhereyes。Ibelieveyou。Trustme——

Wokemeupinthenight，shesaid。Dreamhehad，anightmare。

Indiges——

Saidtheaceofspadeswaswalkingupthestairs——

Theaceofspades！MrBloomsaid。

Shetookafoldedpostcardfromherhandbag——

Readthat，shesaid。Hegotitthismorning——

Whatisit？MrBloomasked，takingthecard。U。P。？——

U。P。:up，shesaid。Someonetakingariseoutofhim。It’sagreatshameforthemwhoeverheis——

Indeeditis，MrBloomsaid。

Shetookbackthecard，sighing——

Andnowhe’sgoingroundtoMrMenton’soffice。He’sgoingtotakeanactionfortenthousandpounds，hesays。

Shefoldedthecardintoheruntidybagandsnappedthecatch。

Samebluesergedressshehadtwoyearsago，thenapbleaching。Seenitsbestdays。Wispishhairoverherears。Andthatdowdytoque，threeoldgrapestotaketheharmoutofit。Shabbygenteel。Sheusedtobeatastydresser。Linesroundhermouth。OnlyayearorsoolderthanMolly。

Seetheeyethatwomangaveher，passing。Cruel。Theunfairsex。

Helookedstillather，holdingbackbehindhislookhisdiscontent。Pungentmockturtleoxtailmulligatawny。I’mhungrytoo。Flakesofpastryonthegussetofherdress:daubofsugaryflourstucktohercheek。Rhubarbtartwithliberalfillings，richfruitinterior。JosiePowellthatwas。InLukeDoyle’slongago，Dolphin’sBarn，thecharades。U。P。:up。

Changethesubject——

DoyoueverseeanythingofMrsBeaufoy，MrBloomasked——

MinaPurefoy？shesaid。

PhilipBeaufoyIwasthinking。Playgoers’club。Matchamoftenthinksofthemasterstroke。DidIpullthechain？Yes。Thelastact——

Yes——

Ijustcalledtoaskonthewayinissheoverit。She’sinthelying-inhospitalinHollesstreet。DrHornegotherin。She’sthreedaysbadnow——

O，MrBloomsaid。I’msorrytohearthat——

Yes，MrsBreensaid。Andahousefulofkidsathome。It’saverystiffbirth，thenursetoldme——

O，MrBloomsaid。

Hisheavypityinggazeabsorbedhernews。Histongueclackedincompassion。Dth！Dth！——

I’msorrytohearthat，hesaid。Poorthing！Threedays！That’sterribleforher。

MrsBreennodded——

ShewastakenbadontheTuesday……

MrBloomtouchedherfunnybonegently，warningher——

Mind！Letthismanpass。

Abonyformstrodealongthecurbstonefromtheriver，staringwitharaptgazeintothesunlightthroughaheavystringedglass。Tightasaskullpieceatinyhatgrippedhishead。Fromhisarmafoldeddustcoat，astickandanumbrelladangledtohisstride——

Watchhim，MrBloomsaid。Healwayswalksoutsidethelampposts。Watch！——

Whoisheifit’safairquestion，MrsBreenasked。Ishedotty？——

HisnameisCashelBoyleO’ConnorFitzmauriceTisdallFarrell，MrBloomsaid，smiling。Watch！——

Hehasenoughofthem，shesaid。Deniswillbelikethatoneofthesedays。

Shebrokeoffsuddenly——

Thereheis，shesaid。Imustgoafterhim。Goodbye。RemembermetoMolly，won’tyou？——

Iwill，MrBloomsaid。

Hewatchedherdodgethroughpasserstowardstheshop-fronts。DenisBreeninskimpyfrockcoatandbluecanvasshoesshuffledoutofHarrison’shuggingtwoheavytomestohisribs。Blowninfromthebay。Likeoldtimes。Hesufferedhertoovertakehimwithoutsurpriseandthrusthisdullgreybeardtowardsher，hisloosejawwaggingashespokeearnestly。

Meshuggah。Offhischump。

MrBloomwalkedonagaineasily，seeingaheadofhiminsunlightthetightskullpiece，thedanglingstick，umbrella，dustcoat。Goingthetwodays。Watchhim！Outhegoesagain。Onewayofgettingonintheworld。Andthatotheroldmoseylunaticinthoseduds。Hardtimeshemusthavewithhim。

U。P。:up。I’lltakemyoaththat’sAlfBerganorRichieGoulding。WroteitforalarkintheScotchhouse，Ibetanything。RoundtoMenton’soffice。Hisoystereyesstaringatthepostcard。Beafeastforthegods。

HepassedtheIrishTimes。Theremightbeotheranswerslyingthere。Liketoanswerthemall。Goodsystemforcriminals。Code。Attheirlunchnow。Clerkwiththeglassestheredoesn’tknowme。O，leavethemtheretosimmer。Enoughbotherwadingthroughforty-fourofthem。Wantedsmartladytypisttoaidgentlemaninliterarywork。IcalledyounaughtydarlingbecauseIdonotlikethatotherworld。Pleasetellmewhatisthemeaning。Pleasetellmewhatperfumedoesyourwife。Tellmewhomadetheworld。Thewaytheyspringthosequestionsonyou。AndtheotheroneLizzieTwigg。MyliteraryeffortshavehadthegoodfortunetomeetwiththeapprovaloftheeminentpoetA。E。(MrGeoRussell)。Notimetodoherhairdrinkingsloppyteawithabookofpoetry。

Bestpaperbylongchalksforasmallad。Gottheprovincesnow。Cookandgeneral，exccuisine，housemaidkept。Wantedlivemanforspiritcounter。Respgirl(R。C。)wishestohearofpostinfruitorporkshop。JamesCarlislemadethat。Sixandahalfpercentdividend。MadeabigdealonCoates’sshares。Ca’canny。CunningoldScotchhunks。Allthetoadynews。Ourgraciousandpopularvicereine。BoughttheIrishFieldnow。LadyMountcashelhasquiterecoveredafterherconfinementandrodeoutwiththeWardUnionstaghoundsattheenlargementyesterdayatRathoath。Uneatablefox。Pothunterstoo。Fearinjectsjuicesmakeittenderenoughforthem。Ridingastride。Sitherhorselikeaman。Weightcarryinghuntress。Nosidesaddleorpillionforher，notforJoe。Firsttothemeetandinatthedeath。Strongasabroodmaresomeofthosehorseywomen。Swaggeraroundliverystables。Tossoffaglassofbrandyneatwhileyou’dsayknife。ThatoneattheGrosvenorthismorning。Upwithheronthecar:wishwish。Stonewallorfivebarredgateputhermounttoit。Thinkthatpugnoseddriverdiditoutofspite。Whoisthisshewaslike？Oyes？MrsMiriamDandradethatsoldmeheroldwrapsandblackunderclothesintheShelbournehotel。DivorcedSpanishAmerican。Didn’ttakeafeatheroutofhermyhandlingthem。AsifIwasherclotheshorse。SawherintheviceregalpartywhenStubbstheparkrangergotmeinwithWhelanoftheExpress。Scavengingwhatthequalityleft。Hightea。MayonnaiseIpouredontheplumsthinkingitwascustard。Herearsoughttohavetingledforafewweeksafter。Wanttobeabullforher。Borncourtesan。Nonurseryworkforher，thanks。