第55章

Ipleadguilty，andwillnolongerdelaythepainful

confessionIhavetomake。

Doyourememberasingularlyhandsomeyoungman，who，duringmy

abodewithmadameLagarde，fascinatedmetillmyverysensesseemed

bewilderedbymypassion。

Youknowhowhebetrayedme，andhow，

throughhim，Iwasexpelledthehouse，aswellasthetermination

ofthisfoolishadventure。

Youarenowtopassoversevenor

eightyears，andtakeyourplacewithmeinthedrawing-room，in

whichIstoodwhenIrangtosummonaservanttoconveyaletter

totheducdeVilleroi。

YoumayrememberwhatItoldyouinthe

lastchapterofthepersonwhoentered，ofhisagitationandhis

blushes，andofhisfixinghiseyeswithdeepmeaninguponmetill

hequittedtheroom-thisservantwasNoel！

HadIlistenedtothedictatesofprudence，Ishould，without

lossoftime，haveobtainedagainsthima，

whichwouldhavefreedmefromallchanceofdiscoverythrough

hismeans；butIcouldnotlistentosuchcool-blooded，though

cautious，suggestions。

Oneideaonlytookpossessionofmy

mind——theabsurddesiretoknowwhathadbecomeofNoelsincewe

separated，andbywhataccidentInowfoundhimwearingmylivery

inthecastle。

WiththisintentIavailedmyselfofthefirst

momentIwassecurefrominterruption，tosummonhimtomypresence。

Hethrewhimselfatmyfeet，imploringofmetopardonhisaudacity。

“Alas，madam！“

saidhe，“Iammoreunfortunatethanguilty。

Isaw

youwalkingsometimesince，andIcouldobtainnorestorpeace

tillIwasfortunateenoughtoobtainadmissiontoyourestablishment。

Punishmeformytemerityifyouwill；expelmefromthecastle，

havemeconfinedinaprison，Ideserveitall；but，voluntarily，

Icannotleavethishouse；andifyouwillonlypermitmystay，I

solemnlyvowyoushallseenothinginmyconductbutthezeal

ofanattachedandrespectfulservant。“

IwasweakenoughtopardonNoelandshortlyaftertoraisehim

totherankof，whichbroughthiminfinitely

toomuchaboutme。

Yes，myfriend，thewomanis，afterallattemptstoexcuseit，

blamableforbestowingheraffectionononebelowherselfinthe

scaleofsociety。

Natureherselfappearstohaveplantedinour

bosomsakindofinstinct，whichwarnsusfromit，andaprejudice

againstallthosewhosodegradethemselves。

Itisdifferent

withmen；theycanconferrankandelevationonthebelovedobject。

Awomanshouldalwayshavereasontolookuptoandfeelproud

ofthemantowhomsheconsignsherheart；thisspeciesofvanity

ismixedwiththenoblestlove，andthewomanwhocanoverlook

it，actsfrompassionofthelowest，basestkind。

Howeasyisit

toreason！

Alas！

WhyhaveInotalwaysactedaswellasIspeak。

IwasthusagainasecondtimeenthralledbyNoel，andmuchmore

so，too，thanIwillnowtellyou。

MyfaithfulHenriette，whose

devotedattachmentformekepthereverwatchfulofmysafetyand

reputation，wasthunderstruckatperceivingwhatIvainlystrove

toconcealfromher；and，asshehassincetoldme，