第11章

Itmustbeconfessedthatwesometimeskeptverybad

companyatVersailles。

Theking，whoabhorreddegradingactions，

didnotliketheducdeFronsac，butwasfullofkindlyfeeling

towardstheducd’Aiguillon。

Thelatterexperiencedtheextent

ofhisfavorinhislongandobstinatestrugglewiththeparliament

ofBretagne。

Itmustbeowned，thatifhegainedthevictoryat

court，hedecidedlylostitinthecity，andIwaspublicly

insultedonthisaccountinthemostbrutalmanner。

However，

thefriendshipwhichhisfirstinterviewinspiredmewith，Ihave

alwayspreservedunaltered。

Theweekglidedaway，andeachdaymyfortuneseemedmorefully

assured。

Theloveofthekingincreased，heheapedpresentson

meperpetually，andseemedtothinkhenevercoulddoenoughfor

me。

ThebountiesofLouisXVwereknown，andinstantlyaroused

againstmethetwoenemieswithwhomIhadbeenthreatened——the

ducdeChoiseulandtheduchessedeGrammont，hissister。

Imust

say，however，that，atfirst，thebrothercontentedhimselfwith

despisingme，buttheduchessewasfurious；Ihadoffendedher

feminineself-love，andshecouldnotforgiveme。

Ihavetoldyou

thatsheobtainedpossessionofthekingbystratagem。

Thisis

fact。

Shewasinaplaceofconcealmentduringaregaldebauch，

andwhenLouisleftthetable，withhisheadheatedbywine，she

awaitedhiminhisbedtocommitasortofviolenceonhim。

What

curiousambition！

Assoonasthisnobleladylearnedmyposition，

shewasdesirousofknowingwhoIwas，andIhavebeentold

sinceallthemeasuresshetooktolearnthis。

Shedidnot

confinehersearchtothecircleofVersailles，buthastenedto

prosecuteherinquiriesinPariswithM。deSartines。

The

lieutenantofpolicenotsuspectingthefavorthatawaitedme，

aswellasthatwhichIalreadyenjoyed，andontheotherhand

persuadedofthatoftheChoiseulfamily，setallhisbloodhounds

onmytraces。

Theydidnotfailtobringhimbackathousand

horribletalesaboutme，withwhichhegratifiedtheduchesse，

who，thinkingtherebytodomeasevereinjury，spreadinthe

chateauamultitudeofprejudicialtalesagainstme，hopingthat

theywouldreachtheearsofthekinganddisgusthimwithhis

amour。

Itwasatthisjuncturethatappearedinthe“

alaMain>“thoseinfamousarticles，collectedinwhattheycall

theCollectionofBachaumont。

Fromthesamesourceproceeded

thesongswhichfilledParis，andweresung

abouteverywhere。

Thesescandalsproducednoothereffectthan

increasingtheattachmentwhichthekinghadforme，andto

diminishthatwhichhefeltfortheducdeChoiseul。

Passionneverreasons；ifithadcommonsense，itwouldperceive

thatitcannotdisgustaloverbyvilifyinghismistress，but，on

thecontrary，interestshisself-loveinsupportingher。

Thus

alltheseintriguesscathedmenot；Ididnotmentiontomy

counsellorcomteJeananinsultwhichImetwithinthepark

atVersaillesfrommadamedeGrammont。

Ididnottellittothe

king，notwishingtocreateanydisturbanceatcourt。

Iavenged

myselfbymyself，andthinkIconductedmyselfremarkablywell

inthisadventure，whichwasasfollows:

IwaswalkinginthegardenwithHenriette，whohadgivenmeher

arm；itwasearlyinthemorning，andthewalksappearedsolitary。

WewalkedtowardsthesideoftheIled’Amour，whenwe

heardthestepsoftwopersonswhocamebehindus。

Henriette

turnedherheadandthensaidtome，“HerearemesdamesdeBrionne

anddeGrammont。“

Iknewthelatterbutveryslightly，andthe

formernotatall。

Certainlyshecouldnothavebeenthereby

chance；theyknewIshouldbethere，andwishedtoseemeclosely。

Notsuspectingwhatwastofollow，Iwasdelightedattherencontre。

Theypasseduswithheaderect，haughtyair；lookedatmewitha

disdainfulstare，laughedrudelyandwalkedaway。

Altho’such

behavioroffendedme，itdidnotputmeoutofhumor；Ithought

itverynaturalformadamedeGrammonttobeirritatedagainstme。

Henriettehadlessmagnanimity。

Sherepeatedsooftenhow

impertinentitwasthustoinsultafemalehonoredbythebounties

oftheking，andsofarexcitedmyfeelings，thatinsteadof

returningasprudencesuggested，Ifollowedthestepsofthese

ladies。

IdidnotproceedfarbeforeIrejoinedthem；theywere

seatedonabench，awaitingmyarrivalasitappeared。

Ipassed

closetothem，andatthatmomenttheduchessedeGrammont，

raisinghervoice，said，

“Itmustbeaprofitablebusinesstosleepwitheverybody。“

Iwasexcessivelynettled，andinstantlyretorted，“AtleastI

cannotbeaccusedofmakingaforcibleentryintoanyperson’s

bed。“

Thearrowwenttothemarkandpenetrateddeeply。

The

wholecountenanceoftheduchesseturnedpale，exceptherlips，

whichbecameblue。

Shewouldhavesaidsomethingfoolish，but

madamedeBrionne，morecoolbecausetouchedlessnearly，placed

herhandoverhercompanion’smouth。

Iinmyturnwalkedaway

withHenriette，laughingtilltearscameintomyeyesatthis

pleasingvictory。

TheduchessedeGrammont，whohadnofurtherinclinationtolaugh，

toldthewholetoherbrother。

He，wholovedherexcessively，too

muchsoperhaps，reprimandedher，nevertheless，andpointedout

toherthedisadvantageinanopenstrugglewithme。

Madamede

Brionnewasenjoinedtosecrecy，butthatdidnotpreventherfrom

confidingtheaffairtothedowagerduchessed’Aiguillon。

Thislatterwasaladyofmostsuperiormerit，unitingtomuch

witmoresolidacquirements。

ShespokeEnglishlikeanative。

Herdeath，whichhappenedin1772，wasagreatmisfortunetoher

son，towhomshegavethemostexcellentcounsel。

Shetoldmy

adventuretoherdaughter-in-law，who，excessivelyambitious，saw，

withoutanypain，theincreasingattachmentofherhusbandfor

me。

Imusttellyou，inaparenthesis，thatIalwayslivedonthe

besttermswithher，andthat，inmydisgrace，herfriendshipdid

notweaken。

Imustdoherthisjustice。

Allmy

havenotbeenequallyfaithfultowardsme。

Thesetwoladiesknowingthisoccurrence，theducd’Aiguillonwas

notlongkeptinignorancethatsomethinghadhappened。

Hecame

inhastetoseeme，andinquiredwhatitwas。

Butheaskedinvain，

Iwouldnottellhim。

Mysecrecyhurthim，andonhisreturnhome

hewrotetome。

AsIhavegreatpleasureintellingyouallthat

recallsthisamiablegentlemantomymind，Iwilltranscribehis

letter，whichwillgiveyouanopportunityofjudgingoftheturn

ofhismind。

Ihadflattered

myselfwithhavingobtainedyourconfidence，but

theobstinatesilencewhichyouhavekeptwithme

hascruellyinformedmeofmymistake。

Allowthe

deepinterestwithwhichyouhaveinspiredmeto

offerasuggestion。

Youknownothingofforms，you

areunacquaintedwithourusages:yourequireafriend

whoshalldirectandcounselyou。

Whyshouldyounot

selectamanentirelydevotedtoyou，andasequally

sototheking，thekingwhoseaffectionsyoupossess——and

whocouldrefusethemtoyou？

Ipause。

Nothingismore

dangerousthantouseapenwherewehaveaheart

overflowinglikemine。

Bemoregracioustowards

me，Iaskitofyouincharity，andtakenopleasure

indrivingmetotwofolddesperation。

Adieu，

madame，etc。

“Signed，theDucD’A。“

Ireadandreadagainthisepistle:itdelightedmefrombeginning

toend。

Ifoundinitadepthofpassionwhichdidnotdisplease

me:Iperfectlycomprehendedtheobscurityofthelatterphrase。

IneededasortofmentorsuperiortocomteJean，andIpreferred

theducd’Aiguillontoanyother，becausehepleasedme。

This

feelingdecidedme，andIrepliedtohimintheseterms:——

“Youarewrong，monsieur，tobeannoyed，andtothink

thatIamnotdisposedtograntyoumyconfidence。

It

seemstomethatIcannotplacemyselfinbetterhands。

However，wedonotknoweachotherwellenoughfor

metoreposeinyouatonce:seemefrequently，and

then，withthehabitofbeinginyourcompany，Iwill

allowmyselftoglidequietlyintothatstateof

confidencewhichyoudesire。

Yes，Iamindeeda

strangertoallthatpassesaroundme；myonlysupport

istheprotectionwithwhichthekinghonorsme。