第133章

“Therestofthishistoryiscountedinmymindbyfourdays——Wednesday，Thursday，Friday，Saturday。Afterthatitallfadesofflike，andthenewyearscomewithastrangelook，beingtheyearsofanewlife。

“Whatabouttheoldlifefirst？WhatdidIfeel，inthehorridquietofthemorning，whenIhaddoneit？

“Idon’tknowwhatIfelt。Ican’trememberit，orIcan’ttellit，Idon’tknowwhich。Icanwritethehistoryofthefourdays，andthat’sall。

“Wednesday——Igavethealarmtowardnoon。Hoursbefore，Ihadputthingsstraightandfittobeseen。Ihadonlytocallforhelp，andtoleavethepeopletodoastheypleased。Theneighborscamein，andthenthepolice。Theyknocked，uselessly，athisdoor。Thentheybrokeitopen，andfoundhimdeadinhisbed。

“Nottheghostofasuspicionofmeenteredthemindofanyone。

Therewasnofearofhumanjusticefindingmeout：myoneunutterabledreadwasdreadofanAvengingProvidence。

Ihadashortsleepthatnight，andadream，inwhichIdidthedeedoveragain。Foratimemymindwasbusywiththoughtsofconfessingtothepolice，andofgivingmyselfup。IfIhadnotbelongedtoarespectablefamily，Ishouldhavedoneit。Fromgenerationtogenerationtherehadbeennostainonourgoodname。Itwouldbedeathtomyfather，anddisgracetoallmyfamily，ifIownedwhatIhaddone，andsufferedforitonthepublicscaffold。Iprayedtobeguided；andIhadarevelation，towardmorning，ofwhattodo。

“Iwascommanded，inavision，toopentheBible，andvowonittosetmyguiltyselfapartamongmyinnocentfellow-creaturesfromthatdayforth；toliveamongthemaseparateandsilentlife，todedicatetheuseofmyspeechtothelanguageofprayeronly，offeredupinthesolitudeofmyownchamberwhennohumanearcouldhearme。Alone，inthemorning，Isawthevision，andvowedthevow。Nohumanear_has_heardmefromthattime。Nohumanear_will_hearme，tothedayofmydeath。

“Thursday——Thepeoplecametospeaktome，asusual。Theyfoundmedumb。

“Whathadhappenedtomeinthepast，whenmyheadhadbeenhurt，andmyspeechaffectedbyit，gavealikelierlooktomydumbnessthanitmighthaveborneinthecaseofanotherperson。Theytookmebackagaintothehospital。Thedoctorsweredividedinopinion。Somesaidtheshockofwhathadtakenplaceinthehouse，comingonthebackoftheothershock，might，foralltheyknew，havedonethemischief。Andotherssaid，’Shegotherspeechagainaftertheaccident；therehasbeennonewinjurysincethattime；thewomanisshammingdumb，forsomepurposeofherown。’Iletthemdisputeitastheyliked。Allhumantalkwasnothingnowtome。Ihadsetmyselfapartamongmyfellow-creatures；Ihadbegunmyseparateandsilentlife。

“Throughallthistimethesenseofacomingpunishmenthangingovermeneverleftmymind。Ihadnothingtodreadfromhumanjustice。ThejudgmentofanAvengingProvidence——therewaswhatI