第15章

Headvancedafewsteps，andstopped。Absorbedinherself，Annefailedtohearhim。Shenevermoved。

“Ihavecome，asyoumadeapointofit，“hesaid，sullenly。

“But，mindyou，itisn’tsafe。“

Atthesoundofhisvoice，Anneturnedtowardhim。Achangeofexpressionappearedinherface，assheslowlyadvancedfromthebackofthesummer-house，whichrevealedalikenesstohermother，notperceivableatothertimes。Asthemotherhadlooked，inby-gonedays，atthemanwhohaddisownedher，sothedaughterlookedatGeoffreyDelamayn——withthesameterriblecomposure，andthesameterriblecontempt。

“Well？“heasked。“Whathaveyougottosaytome？“

“Mr。Delamayn，“sheanswered，“youareoneofthefortunatepeopleofthisworld。Youareanobleman’sson。Youareahandsomeman。Youarepopularatyourcollege。YouarefreeofthebesthousesinEngland。Areyousomethingbesidesallthis？

Areyouacowardandascoundrelaswell？“

Hestarted——openedhislipstospeak——checkedhimself——andmadeanuneasyattempttolaughitoff。“Come!“hesaid，“keepyourtemper。“

Thesuppressedpassioninherbegantoforceitswaytothesurface。

“Keepmytemper？“sherepeated。“Do_you_ofallmenexpectmetocontrolmyself？Whatamemoryyoursmustbe!HaveyouforgottenthetimewhenIwasfoolenoughtothinkyouwerefondofme？andmadenoughtobelieveyoucouldkeepapromise？“

Hepersistedintryingtolaughitoff。“Madisastrongishwordtouse，MissSilvester!“

“Madistherightword!Ilookbackatmyowninfatuation——andI

can’taccountforit；Ican’tunderstandmyself。Whatwastherein_you_，“sheasked，withanoutbreakofcontemptuoussurprise，“toattractsuchawomanasIam？“

Hisinexhaustiblegood-naturewasproofevenagainstthis。Heputhishandsinhispockets，andsaid，“I’msureIdon’tknow。“

Sheturnedawayfromhim。Thefrankbrutalityoftheanswerhadnotoffendedher。Itforcedher，cruellyforcedher，torememberthatshehadnobodybutherselftoblameforthepositioninwhichshestoodatthatmoment。Shewasunwillingtolethimseehowtheremembrancehurther——thatwasall。Asad，sadstory；butitmustbetold。Inhermother’stimeshehadbeenthesweetest，themostlovableofchildren。Inlaterdays，underthecareofhermother’sfriend，hergirlhoodhadpassedsoharmlesslyandsohappily——itseemedasifthesleepingpassionsmightsleepforever!Shehadlivedontotheprimeofherwomanhood——andthen，whenthetreasureofherlifewasatitsrichest，inonefatalmomentshehadflungitawayonthemaninwhosepresenceshenowstood。

Wasshewithoutexcuse？No：notutterlywithoutexcuse。

Shehadseenhimunderotheraspectsthantheaspectwhichhepresentednow。Shehadseenhim，theherooftheriver-race，thefirstandforemostmaninatrialofstrengthandskillwhichhadrousedtheenthusiasmofallEngland。Shehadseenhim，thecentralobjectoftheinterestofanation；theidolofthepopularworshipandthepopularapplause。_His_werethearmswhosemusclewascelebratedinthenewspapers。_He_wasfirstamongtheheroeshailedbytenthousandroaringthroatsastheprideandflowerofEngland。Awoman，inanatmosphereofred-hotenthusiasm，witnessestheapotheosisofPhysicalStrength。Isitreasonable——isitjust——toexpecthertoaskherself，incoldblood，What(morallyandintellectually)isallthisworth？——andthat，whenthemanwhoistheobjectoftheapotheosis，noticesher，ispresentedtoher，findshertohistaste，andsinglesheroutfromtherest？No。Whilehumanityishumanity，thewomanisnotutterlywithoutexcuse。

Hassheescaped，withoutsufferingforit？

Lookatherasshestandsthere，torturedbytheknowledgeofherownsecret——thehideoussecretwhichsheishidingfromtheinnocentgirl，whomsheloveswithasister’slove。Lookather，boweddownunderahumiliationwhichisunutterableinwords。Shehasseenhimbelowthesurface——now，whenitistoolate。Sherateshimathistruevalue——now，whenherreputationisathismercy。Askherthequestion：Whatwastheretoloveinamanwhocanspeaktoyouasthatmanhasspoken，whocantreatyouasthatmanistreatingyounow？yousoclever，socultivated，sorefined——what，inHeaven’sname，could_you_seeinhim？Askherthat，andshewillhavenoanswertogive。Shewillnotevenremindyouthathewasonceyourmodelofmanlybeauty，too——thatyouwavedyourhandkerchieftillyoucouldwaveitnolonger，whenhetookhisseat，withtheothers，intheboat——thatyourheartwasliketojumpoutofyourbosom，onthatlateroccasionwhenheleapedthelasthurdleatthefoot-race，andwonitbyahead。Inthebitternessofherremorse，shewillnotevenseekfor_that_excuseforherself。Istherenoatoningsufferingtobeseenhere？Doyoursympathiesshrinkfromsuchacharacterasthis？Followher，goodfriendsofvirtue，onthepilgrimagethatleads，bysteepandthornyways，tothepureratmosphereandthenoblerlife。Yourfellow-creature，whohassinnedandhasrepented——youhavetheauthorityoftheDivineTeacherforit——isyourfellow-creature，purifiedandennobled。Ajoyamongtheangelsofheaven——oh，mybrothersandsistersoftheearth，haveInotlaidmyhandonafitcompanionforYou？

Therewasamomentofsilenceinthesummer-house。Thecheerfultumultofthelawn-partywaspleasantlyaudiblefromthedistance。Outside，thehumofvoices，thelaughterofgirls，thethumpofthecroquet-malletagainsttheball。Inside，nothingbutawomanforcingbackthebittertearsofsorrowandshame——andamanwhowastiredofher。

Sherousedherself。Shewashermother’sdaughter；andshehadasparkofhermother’sspirit。Herlifedependedontheissueofthatinterview。Itwasuseless——withoutfatherorbrothertotakeherpart——tolosethelastchanceofappealingtohim。Shedashedawaythetears——timeenoughtocry，istimeeasilyfoundinawoman’sexistence——shedashedawaythetears，andspoketohimagain，moregentlythanshehadspokenyet。

“Youhavebeenthreeweeks，Geoffrey，atyourbrotherJulius’splace，nottenmilesfromhere；andyouhaveneveronceriddenovertoseeme。Youwouldnothavecometo-day，ifIhadnotwrittentoyoutoinsistonit。IsthatthetreatmentIhavedeserved？“

Shepaused。Therewasnoanswer。

“Doyouhearme？“sheasked，advancingandspeakinginloudertones。

Hewasstillsilent。Itwasnotinhumanendurancetobearhiscontempt。Thewarningofacomingoutbreakbegantoshowitselfinherface。Hemetit，beforehand，withanimpenetrablefront。

Feelingnervousabouttheinterview，whilehewaswaitingintherose-garden——nowthathestoodcommittedtoit，hewasinfullpossessionofhimself。Hewascomposedenoughtorememberthathehadnotputhispipeinitscase——composedenoughtosetthatlittlematterrightbeforeothermatterswentanyfarther。Hetookthecaseoutofonepocket，andthepipeoutofanother。

“Goon，“hesaid，quietly。“Ihearyou。“

Shestruckthepipeoutofhishandatablow。Ifshehadhadthestrengthshewouldhavestruckhimdownwithitonthefloorofthesummer-house。

“Howdareyouusemeinthisway？“sheburstout，vehemently。

“Yourconductisinfamous。Defenditifyoucan!“

Hemadenoattempttodefendit。Helooked，withanexpressionofgenuineanxiety，atthefallenpipe。Itwasbeautifullycolored——ithadcosthimtenshillings。“I’llpickupmypipefirst，“hesaid。Hisfacebrightenedpleasantly——helookedhandsomerthanever——asheexaminedthepreciousobject，andputitbackinthecase。“Allright，“hesaidtohimself。“Shehasn’tbrokenit。“Hisattitudeashelookedatheragain，wastheperfectionofeasygrace——thegracethatattendsoncultivatedstrengthinastateofrepose。“Iputittoyourowncommon-sense，“hesaid，inthemostreasonablemanner，“what’sthegoodofbullyingme？Youdon’twantthemtohearyou，outonthelawnthere——doyou？Youwomenareallalike。There’snobeatingalittleprudenceintoyourheads，tryhowonemay。“

Therehewaited，expectinghertospeak。Shewaited，onherside，andforcedhimtogoon。

“Lookhere，“hesaid，“there’snoneedtoquarrel，youknow。I

don’twanttobreakmypromise；butwhatcanIdo？I’mnottheeldestson。I’mdependentonmyfatherforeveryfarthingIhave；

andI’monbadtermswithhimalready。Can’tyouseeityourself？

You’realady，andallthat，Iknow。Butyou’reonlyagoverness。

It’syourinterestaswellasminetowaittillmyfatherhasprovidedforme。Hereitisinanut-shell：ifImarryyounow，I’maruinedman。“

Theanswercame，thistime。

“Youvillainifyou_don’t_marryme，Iamaruinedwoman!“

“Whatdoyoumean？“

“YouknowwhatImean。Don’tlookatmeinthatway。“

“Howdoyouexpectmetolookatawomanwhocallsmeavillaintomyface？“

Shesuddenlychangedhertone。Thesavageelementinhumanity——letthemodernoptimistswhodoubtitsexistencelookatanyuncultivatedman(nomatterhowmuscular)，woman(nomatterhowbeautiful)，orchild(nomatterhowyoung)——begantoshowitselffurtivelyinhiseyes，toutteritselffurtivelyinhisvoice。Washetoblameforthemannerinwhichhelookedatherandspoketoher？Nothe!Whathadtherebeeninthetrainingof_his_life(atschooloratcollege)tosoftenandsubduethesavageelementinhim？Aboutasmuchastherehadbeeninthetrainingofhisancestors(withouttheschoolorthecollege)

fivehundredyearssince。

Itwasplainthatoneofthemmustgiveway。Thewomanhadthemostatstake——andthewomansettheexampleofsubmission。

“Don’tbehardonme，“shepleaded。“Idon’tmeantobehardon_you。_Mytempergetsthebetterofme。Youknowmytemper。IamsorryIforgotmyself。Geoffrey，mywholefutureisinyourhands。Willyoudomejustice？“