第59章

Reallyfromhisownstandpointtherewasnothingveryoutrageousinwhathewasdoing。HehadknownandbeenveryfondofEllenyearsbefore。Heknewhertocomeofrespectablepeople，andtohaveborneagoodcharacter，andtohavebeenuniversallylikedatBattersby。Shewasthenaquick，smart，hard-workinggirl——andaveryprettyone。Whenatlasttheymetagainshewasonherbestbehaviour，infact，shewasmodestyanddemurenessitself。Whatwonder，then，thathisimaginationshouldfailtorealisethechangesthateightyearsmusthaveworked？Heknewtoomuchagainsthimself，andwastoobankruptinlovetobesqueamish；ifEllenhadbeenonlywhathethoughther，andifhisprospectshadbeeninrealitynobetterthanhebelievedtheywere，IdonotknowthatthereisanythingmuchmoreimprudentinwhatErnestproposedthanthereisinhalfthemarriagesthattakeplaceeveryday。

Therewasnothingforit，however，buttomakethebestoftheinevitable，soIwishedmyyoungfriendgoodfortune，andtoldhimhecouldhavewhatevermoneyhewantedtostarthisshopwith，ifwhathehadinhandwasnotsufficient。Hethankedme，askedmetobekindenoughtolethimdoallmymendingandrepairing，andtogethimanyotherlikeordersthatIcould，andleftmetomyownreflections。

IwasevenmoreangrywhenhewasgonethanIhadbeenwhilehewaswithme。Hisfrank，boyishfacehadbeamedwithahappinessthathadrarelyvisitedit。ExceptatCambridgehehadhardlyknownwhathappinessmeant，andeventherehislifehadbeencloudedasofamanforwhomwisdomatthegreatestofitsentranceswasquiteshutout。Ihadseenenoughoftheworldandofhimtohaveobservedthis，butitwasimpossible，orIthoughtithadbeenimpossible，formetohavehelpedhim。

WhetherIoughttohavetriedtohelphimornotIdonotknow，butIamsurethattheyoungofallanimalsoftendowanthelpuponmattersaboutwhichanyonewouldsayapriorithatthereshouldbenodifficulty。Onewouldthinkthatayoungsealwouldwantnoteachinghowtoswim，noryetabirdtofly，butinpracticeayoungsealdrownsifputoutofitsdepthbeforeitsparentshavetaughtittoswim；andsoagain，eventheyounghawkmustbetaughttoflybeforeitcandoso。

Igrantthatthetendencyofthetimesistoexaggeratethegoodwhichteachingcando，butintryingtoteachtoomuch，inmostmatters，wehaveneglectedothersinrespectofwhichalittlesensibleteachingwoulddonoharm。

Iknowitisthefashiontosaythatyoungpeoplemustfindoutthingsforthemselves，andsotheyprobablywouldiftheyhadfairplaytotheextentofnothavingobstaclesputintheirway。Buttheyseldomhavefairplay；asageneralruletheymeetwithfoulplay，andfoulplayfromthosewholivebysellingthemstonesmadeintoagreatvarietyofshapesandsizessoastoformatolerableimitationofbread。

Someareluckyenoughtomeetwithfewobstacles，somearepluckyenoughtoover-ridethem，butinthegreaternumberofcases，ifpeoplearesavedatalltheyaresavedsoasbyfire。

WhileErnestwaswithmeEllenwaslookingoutforashoponthesouthsideoftheThamesnearthe“ElephantandCastle。”whichwasthenalmostanewandaveryrisingneighbourhood。Byoneo’clockshehadfoundseveralfromwhichaselectionwastobemade，andbeforenightthepairhadmadetheirchoice。

ErnestbroughtEllentome。Ididnotwanttoseeher，butcouldnotwellrefuse。Hehadlaidoutafewofhisshillingsuponherwardrobe，sothatshewasneatlydressed，and，indeed，shelookedveryprettyandsogoodthatIcouldhardlybesurprisedatErnest’sinfatuationwhentheothercircumstancesofthecaseweretakenintoconsideration。Ofcoursewehatedoneanotherinstinctivelyfromthefirstmomentweseteyesononeanother，butweeachtoldErnestthatwehadbeenmostfavourablyimpressed。

ThenIwastakentoseetheshop。Anemptyhouseislikeastraydogorabodyfromwhichlifehasdeparted。Decaysetsinatonceineverypartofit，andwhatmouldandwindandweatherwouldspare，streetboyscommonlydestroy。Ernest’sshopini