第42章

Ifhewastogetthebitbetweenhisteethafterhehadgotordainedandboughthisliving，hewouldplaymorepranksthaneverhe，Theobald，haddone。Thefact，doubtless，ofhisbeingordainedandhavingboughtalivingwouldgoalongwaytosteadyhim，andifhemarried，hiswifemustseetotherest；thiswashisonlychanceand，todojusticetohissagacity，Theobaldinhisheartdidnotthinkveryhighlyofit。

WhenErnestcamedowntoBattersbyinJune，heimprudentlytriedtoopenupamoreunreservedcommunicationwithhisfatherthanwashiswont。ThefirstofErnest’ssnipe-likeflightsonbeingflushedbyMrHawke’ssermonwasinthedirectionofultra-evangelicalism。

TheobaldhimselfhadbeenmuchmoreLowthanHighChurch。Thiswasthenormaldevelopmentofthecountryclergymanduringthefirstyearsofhisclericallife，between，wewillsay，theyears1825to1850；buthewasnotpreparedforthealmostcontemptwithwhichErnestnowregardedthedoctrinesofbaptismalregenerationandpriestlyabsolution(Hoitytoity，indeed，whatbusinesshadhewithsuchquestions？)，norforhisdesiretofindsomemeansofreconcilingMethodismandtheChurch。TheobaldhatedtheChurchofRome，buthehateddissenterstoo，forhefoundthemasageneralruletroublesomepeopletodealwith；healwaysfoundpeoplewhodidnotagreewithhimtroublesometodealwith：besides，theysetupforknowingasmuchashedid；neverthelessifhehadbeenletalonehewouldhaveleanedtowardsthemratherthantowardstheHighChurchparty。Theneighbouringclergy，however，wouldnotlethimalone。Onebyonetheyhadcomeundertheinfluence，directlyorindirectly，oftheOxfordmovementwhichhadbeguntwentyyearsearlier。ItwassurprisinghowmanypracticeshenowtoleratedwhichinhisyouthhewouldhaveconsideredPopish；heknewverywellthereforewhichwaythingsweregoinginChurchmatters，andsawthatasusualErnestwassettinghimselftheotherway。Theopportunityfortellinghissonthathewasafoolwastoofavourablenottobeembraced，andTheobaldwasnotslowtoembraceit。Ernestwasannoyedandsurprised，forhadnothisfatherandmotherbeenwantinghimtobemorereligiousallhislife？Nowthathehadbecomesotheywerestillnotsatisfied。Hesaidtohimselfthataprophetwasnotwithouthonoursaveinhisowncountry，buthehadbeenlately——orratheruntillately——gettingintoanodioushabitofturningproverbsupsidedown，anditoccurredtohimthatacountryissometimesnotwithouthonoursaveforitsownprophet。

Thenhelaughed，andfortherestofthedayfeltmoreasheusedtofeelbeforehehadheardMrHawke’ssermon。

HereturnedtoCambridgefortheLongVacationof1858——nonetoosoon，forhehadtogoinfortheVoluntaryTheologicalExamination，whichbishopswerenowbeginningtoinsistupon。Heimaginedallthetimehewasreadingthathewasstoringhimselfwiththeknowledgethatwouldbestfithimfortheworkhehadtakeninhand。

Intruth，hewascrammingforapass。Induetimehedidpass——

creditably，andwasordainedDeaconwithhalf-a-dozenothersofhisfriendsintheautumnof1858。Hewasthenjusttwenty-threeyearsold。

ErnesthadbeenordainedtoacuracyinoneofthecentralpartsofLondon。HehardlyknewanythingofLondonyet，buthisinstinctsdrewhimthither。Thedayafterhewasordainedheentereduponhisduties——feelingmuchashisfatherhaddonewhenhefoundhimselfboxedupinthecarriagewithChristinaonthemorningofhismarriage。Beforethefirstthreedayswereover，hebecameawarethatthelightofthehappinesswhichhehadknownduringhisfouryearsatCambridgehadbeenextinguished，andhewasappalledbytheirrevocablenatureofthestepwhichhenowfeltthathehadtakenmuchtoohurriedly。

ThemostcharitableexcusethatIcanmakeforthevagarieswhichitwillnowbemydutytochronicleisthattheshockofchangeconsequentuponhisbecomingsuddenlyreligious，beingordainedandleavingCambridge，hadbeentoomuchformyhero，andhadforthetimethrownhimoffanequilibriumwhichwasyetlittlesupportedbyexperience，andthereforeasamatterofcourseunstable。

Everyonehasamassofbadworki