第23章

Youtouchedme，asIwaswalkingawayagain，andhandedmethetumblerfilledtothebrim。Atthesametime，Allanturnedroundfromthewindow;andI，inmyturn，handedthetumblerto_him。_——Isthereanymistakesofar？’

“Thequickthrobbingofmyheartalmostchokedme。Icouldjustshakemyhead——Icoulddonomore。

“’IsawAllanraisethetumblertohislips——Did_you_seeit？

Isawhisfaceturnwhiteinaninstant——Did_you？_Isawtheglassfallfromhishandonthefloor。Isawhimstagger，andcaughthimbeforehefell。Arethesethingstrue？ForGod’ssake，searchyourmemory，andtellme——arethesethingstrue？’

“Thethrobbingatmyheartseemed，foronebreathlessinstant，tostop。Thenextmomentsomethingfiery，somethingmaddening，flewthroughme。Istartedtomyfeet，withmytemperinaflame，recklessofallconsequences，desperateenoughtosayanything。

“’Yourquestionsareaninsult！Yourlooksareaninsult！’I

burstout。’_DoyouthinkItriedtopoisonhim？_’

“Thewordsrushedoutofmylipsinspiteofme。Theywerethelastwordsunderheaventhatanywoman，insuchasituationasmine，oughttohavespoken。AndyetIspokethem！

“Heroseinalarmandgavememysmelling-bottle。’Hush！hush！’

hesaid。’You，too，areoverwrought——you，too，areoverexcitedbyallthathashappenedto-night。Youaretalkingwildlyandshockingly。GoodGod！howcanyouhavesoutterlymisunderstoodme？Composeyourself——pray，composeyourself。’

“Hemightaswellhavetoldawildanimaltocomposeherself。

Havingbeenmadenoughtosaythewords，Iwasmadenoughnexttoreturntothesubjectofthelemonade，inspiteofhisentreatiestometobesilent。

“’ItoldyouwhatIhadputintheglass，themomentMr。

Armadalefainted，’Iwenton;insistingfuriouslyondefendingmyself，whennoattackwasmadeonme。’ItoldyouIhadtakentheflaskofbrandywhichyoukeptatyourbedside，andmixedsomeofitwiththelemonade。HowcouldIknowthathehadanervoushorrorofthesmellandtasteofbrandy？Didn’thesaytomehimself，whenhecametohissenses，It’smyfault;Ioughttohavewarnedyoutoputnobrandyinit？Didn’theremindyouafterwardofthetimewhenyouandhewereintheIsleofMantogether，andwhenthedoctorthereinnocentlymadethesamemistakewithhimthatImadeto-night？’

[“Ilaidagreatstressonmyinnocence——andwithsomereasontoo。WhateverelseImaybe，Ipridemyselfonnotbeingahypocrite。I_was_innocent——sofarasthebrandywasconcerned。

Ihadputitintothelemonade，inpureignoranceofArmadale’snervouspeculiarity，todisguisethetasteof——nevermindwhat！

AnotherofthethingsIpridemyselfonisthatIneverwanderfrommysubject。WhatMidwintersaidnextiswhatIoughttobewritingaboutnow。]

“Helookedatmeforamoment，asifhethoughtIhadtakenleaveofmysenses。Thenhecameroundtomysideofthetableandstoodovermeagain。

“’Ifnothingelsewillsatisfyyouthatyouareentirelymisinterpretingmymotives，’hesaid，’andthatIhaven’tanideaofblaming_you_inthematter——readthis。’

“Hetookapaperfromthebreast-pocketofhiscoat，andspreaditopenundermyeyes。ItwastheNarrativeofArmadale’sDream。

“Inaninstantthewholeweightonmymindwasliftedoffit。I

feltmistressofmyselfagain——Iunderstoodhimatlast。

“’Doyouknowwhatthisis？’heasked。’DoyourememberwhatI

saidtoyouatThorpeAmbroseaboutAllan’sDream？ItoldyouthenthattwooutofthethreeVisionshadalreadycometrue。I

tellyounowthatthethirdVisionhasbeenfulfilledinthishouseto-night。’

“Heturnedovertheleavesofthemanuscript，andpointedtothelinesthathewishedmetoread。

“Ireadthese，ornearlyreadthesewords，fromtheNarrativeoftheDream，asMidwinterhadtakenitdownfromArmadale’sownlips:

“’Thedarknessopenedforthethirdtime，andshowedmetheShadowoftheManandtheShadowoftheWomantogether。TheMan-Shadewasthenearest;theWoman-Shadowstoodback。Fromwheresheslood，Iheardasoundlikethepouringoutofaliquidsoftly。IsawhertouchtheShadowoftheManwithonehand，andgivehimaglasswiththeother。Hetooktheglassandhandedittome。AtthemomentwhenIputittomylips，adeadlyfaintnessovercameme。WhenIrecoveredmysensesagain，theShadowshadvanished，andtheVisionwasatanend。’

“Forthemoment，IwasascompletelystaggeredbythisextraordinarycoincidenceasMidwinterhimself。

“Heputonehandontheopennarrativeandlaidtheotherheavilyonmyarm。

“’_Now_doyouunderstandmymotiveincominghere？’heasked。

’_Now_doyouseethatthelasthopeIhadtoclingtowasthehopethatyourmemoryofthenight’seventsmightprovemymemorytobewrong？_Now_doyouknowwhyIwon’thelpAllan？WhyI

won’tsailwithhim？WhyIamplottingandlying，andmakingyouplotandlietoo，tokeepmybestanddearestfriendoutofthehouse？’

“’HaveyouforgottenMr。Brock’sletter？’Iasked。

“Hestruckhishandpassionatelyontheopenmanuscript。’IfMr。

Brookhadlivedtoseewhatwehaveseento-nighthewouldhavefeltwhatIfeel，hewouldhavesaidwhatIsay！’Hisvoicesankmysteriously，andhisgreatblackeyesglitteredatmeashemadethatanswer。’ThricetheShadowsoftheVisionwarnedAllaninhissleep，’hewenton;’andthricethoseShadowshavebeenembodiedintheafter-timebyYouandbyMe！You，andnoother，stoodintheWoman’splaceatthepool。I，andnoother，stoodintheMan’splaceatthewindow。AndyouandItogether，whenthelastVisionshowedtheShadowstogether，standintheMan’splaceandtheWoman’splacestill！For蔩this，_themiserabledaydawnedwhenyouandIfirstmet。For_this，_yourinfluencedrewmetoyou，whenmybetterangelwarnedmetoflythesightofyourface。Thereisacurseonourlives！thereisafatalityinourfootsteps！Allan’sfuturedependsonhisseparationfromusatonceandforever。Drivehimfromtheplacewelivein，andtheairwebreathe。Forcehimamongstrangers——theworstandwickedestofthemwillbemoreharmless，tohimthanweare！Lethisyachtsail，thoughhegoesonhiskneestoaskus，withoutYouandwithoutMe;andlethimknowhowIlovedhiminanotherworldthanthis，wherethewickedceasefromtroubling，andthewearyareatrest！’

“Hisgriefconqueredhim;hisvoicebrokeintoasobwhenhespokethoselastwords。HetooktheNarrativeoftheDreamfromthetable，andleftmeasabruptlyashehadcomein。

“AsIheardhisdoorlockedbetweenus，mymindwentbacktowhathehadsaidtomeaboutmyself。Inremembering’themiserableday’whenwefirstsaweachother，and’thebetterangel’thathadwarnedhimto’flythesightofmyface，’Iforgotallelse。

Itdoesn’tmatterwhatIfelt——Iwouldn’townit，evenifIhadafriendtospeakto。WhocaresforthemiseryofsuchawomanasI

am？whobelievesinit？Besides，hespokeundertheinfluenceofamadsuperstitionthathasgotpossessionofhimagain。Thereiseveryexcusefor_him_——thereisnoexcusefor_me。_IfIcan’thelpbeingfondofhimthroughitall，Imusttaketheconsequencesandsuffer。Ideservetosuffer;Ideserveneitherlovenorpityfromanybody——Goodheavens，whatafoolIam！Andhowunnaturalallthiswouldbe，ifitwaswritteninabook！

“Ithasstruckone。IcanhearMidwinterstill，pacingtoandfroinhisroom。

“Heisthinking，Isuppose？Well！Icanthinktoo。WhatamItodonext？Ishallwaitandsee。Eventstakeoddturnssometimes;

andeventsmayjustifythefatalismoftheamiablemaninthenextroom，whocursesthedaywhenhefirstsawmyface。Hemaylivetocurseitforotherreasonsthanhehasnow。IfIamtheWomanpointedatintheDream，therewillbeanothertemptationputinmywaybeforelong;andtherewillbenobrandyinArmadale’slemonadeifImixitforhimasecondtime。

“October24th——BarelytwelvehourshavepassedsinceIwrotemyyesterday’sentry;andthatothertemptationhascome，tried，amidconqueredmealready！

“Thistimetherewasnoalternative。Instantexposureandruinstaredmeintheface:Ihadnochoicebuttoyieldinmyowndefense。Inplainerwordsstill，itwasnoaccidentalresemblancethatstartledmeatthetheaterlastnight。Thechorus-singerattheoperawasManuelhimself！

“NottenminutesafterMidwinterhadleftthesitting-roomforhisstudy，thewomanofthehousecameinwithadirtylittlethree-cornerednoteinherhand。Onelookatthewritingontheaddresswasenough。Hehadrecognizedmeinthebox;andtheballetbetweentheactsoftheoperahadgivenhimtimetotracemehome。IdrewthatplainconclusioninthemomentthatelapsedbeforeIopenedtheletter。Itinformedme，intwolines，thathewaswaitinginaby-streetleadingtothebeach;andthat，ifI

failedtomakemyappearanceintenminutes，heshouldinterpretmyabsenceasmyinvitationtohimtocallatthehouse。

“WhatIwentthroughyesterdaymusthavehardenedme，Isuppose。

Atanyrate，afterreadingtheletter，IfeltmorelikethewomanIoncewasthanIhavefeltformonthspast。Iputonmybonnetandwentdownstairs，andleftthehouseasifnothinghadhappened。

“Hewaswaitingformeattheentrancetothestreet。

“Intheinstantwhenwestoodfacetoface，allmywretchedlifewithhimcamebacktome。Ithoughtofmytrustthathehadbetrayed;Ithoughtofthecruelmockeryofamarriagethathehadpracticedonme，whenheknewthathehadawifeliving;I

thoughtofthetimewhenIhadfeltdespairenoughathisdesertionofmetoattemptmyownlife。WhenIrecalledallthis，andwhenthecomparisonbetweenMidwinterandthemean，miserablevillainwhomIhadoncebelievedinforceditselfintomymind，I

knewforthefirsttimewhatawomanfeelswheneveryatomofrespectforherselfhaslefther。Ifhehadpersonallyinsultedmeatthatmoment，IbelieveIshouldhavesubmittedtoit。

“Buthehadnoideaofinsultingme，inthemorebrutalmeaningoftheword。Hehadmeathismercy，andhiswayofmakingmefeelitwastobehavewithanelaboratemockeryofpenitenceandrespect。Ilethimspeakashepleased，withoutinterruptinghim，withoutlookingathimasecondtime，withoutevenallowingmydresstotouchhim，aswewalkedtogethertowardthequieterpartofthebeach。Ihadnoticedthewretchedstateofhisclothes，andthegreedyglitterinhiseyes，inmyfirstlookathim。AndIknewitwouldend——asitdidend——inademandonmeformoney。

“Yes！AftertakingfrommethelastfarthingIpossessedofmyown，andthelastfarthingIcouldextortforhimfrommyoldmistress，heturnedonmeaswestoodbythemarginofthesea，andaskedifIcouldreconcileittomyconsciencetolethimbewearingsuchacoatashethenhadonhisback，andearninghismiserablelivingasachorus-singerattheopera！

“Mydisgust，ratherthanmyindignation，rousedmeintospeakingtohimatlast。

“’Youwantmoney，’Isaid。’SupposeIamtoopoortogiveittoyou？’

“’Inthatcase，’hereplied，’Ishallbeforcedtorememberthatyouareatreasureinyourself。AndIshallbeunderthepainfulnecessityofpressingmyclaimtoyouontheattentionofoneofthosetwogentlemenwhomIsawwithyouattheopera——thegentleman，ofcourse，whoisnowhonoredbyyourpreference，andwholivesprovisionallyinthelightofyoursmiles。’

“Imadehimnoanswer，forIhadnoanswertogive。Disputinghisrighttoclaimmefromanybodywouldhavebeenamerewasteofwords。HeknewaswellasIdidthathehadnottheshadowofaclaimonme。Butthemereattempttoraiseitwould，ashewaswellaware，leadnecessarilytotheexposureofmywholepastlife。

“Stillkeepingsilence，Ilookedoutoverthesea。Idon’tknowwhy，exceptthatIinstinctivelylookedanywhereratherthanlookat_him。_

“Alittlesailing-boatwasapproachingtheshore。Themansteeringwashiddenfrommebythesail;buttheboatwassonearthatIthoughtIrecognizedtheflagonthemast。Ilookedatmywatch。Yes！ItwasArmadalecomingoverfromSantaLuciaathisusualtime，tovisitusinhisusualway。

“BeforeIhadputmywatchbackinmybelt，themeansofextricatingmyselffromthefrightfulpositionIwasplacedinshowedthemselvestomeasplainlyasIseethemnow。

“Iturnedandledthewaytothehigherpartofthebeach，wheresomefishing-boatsweredrawnupwhichcompletelyscreenedusfromtheviewofanyonelandingontheshorebelow。SeeingprobablythatIhadapurposeofsomekind，Manuelfollowedmewithoututteringaword。Assoonasweweresafelyundertheshelteroftheboats，Iforcedmyself，inmyowndefense，tolookathimagain。

“’Whatshouldyousay，’Iasked，’ifIwasrichinsteadofpoor？

WhatshouldyousayifIcouldaffordtogiveyouahundredpounds？’

“Hestarted。IsawplainlythathehadnotexpectedsomuchashalfthesumIhadmentioned。Itisneedlesstoaddthathistonguelied，whilehisfacespokethetruth，andthatwhenherepliedtometheanswerwas，’Nothinglikeenough。’

“’Suppose，’Iwenton，withouttakinganynoticeofwhathehadsaid，’thatIcouldshowyouawayofhelpingyourselftotwiceasmuch——threetimesasmuch——fivetimesasmuchasahundredpounds，areyouboldenoughtoputoutyourhandandtakeit？’

“Thegreedyglittercameintohiseyesoncemore。Hisvoicedroppedlow，inbreathlessexpectationofmynextwords。

“’Whoistheperson？’heasked。’Andwhatistherisk？’

“Iansweredhimatonce，intheplainestterms。IthrewArmadaletohim，asImighthavethrownapieceofmeattoawildbeastwhowaspursuingme。

“’ThepersonisarichyoungEnglishman，’Isaid。’Hehasjusthiredtheyachtcalledthe_Dorothea，_intheharborhere;andhestandsinneedofasailing-masterandacrew。YouwereonceanofficerintheSpanishnavy——youspeakEnglishandItalianperfectly——youarethoroughlywellacquaintedwithNaplesandallthatbelongstoit。TherichyoungEnglishmanisignorantofthelanguage，andtheinterpreterwhoassistshimknowsnothingofthesea。Heisathiswits’endforwantofusefulhelpinthisstrangeplace;hehasnomoreknowledgeoftheworldthanthatchildwhoisdiggingholeswithastickthereinthesand;andhecarriesallhismoneywithhimincircularnotes。Somuchfortheperson。Asfortherisk，estimateitforyourself。’

“ThegreedyglitterinhiseyesgrewbrighterandbrighterwitheverywordIsaid。HewasplainlyreadytofacetheriskbeforeI

haddonespeaking。

“’WhencanIseetheEnglishman？’heasked，eagerly。

“Imovedtotheseawardendofthefishing-boat，andsawthatArmadalewasatthatmomentdisembarkingontheshore。

“’Youcanseehimnow，’Ianswered，andpointedtotheplace。

“AfteralonglookatArmadalewalkingcarelesslyuptheslopeofthebeach，Manueldrewbackagainundertheshelteroftheboat。

Hewaitedamoment，consideringsomethingcarefullywithhimself，andputanotherquestiontome，inawhisperthistime。

“’Whenthevesselismanned，’hesaid，’andtheEnglishmansailsfromNaples，howmanyfriendssailwithhim？’

“’Hehasbuttwofriendshere，’Ireplied;’thatothergentlemanwhomyousawwithmeattheopera，andmyself。Hewillinviteusbothtosailwithhim;andwhenthetimecomes，weshallbothrefuse。’

“’Doyouanswerforthat？’

“’Ianswerforitpositively。’

“Hewalkedafewstepsaway，andstoodwithhisfacehiddenfromme，thinkingagain。AllIcouldseewasthathetookoffhishatandpassedhishandkerchiefoverhisforehead。AllIcouldhearwasthathetalkedtohimselfexcitedlyinhisownlanguage。

“Therewasachangeinhimwhenhecameback。Hisfacehadturnedtoalividyellow，andhiseyeslookedatmewithahideousdistrust。

“’Onelastquestion，’hesaid，andsuddenlycameclosertome，suddenlyspokewithamarkedemphasisonhisnextwords:’_Whatisyourinterestinthis？_’

“Istartedbackfromhim。ThequestionremindedmethatI_had_

aninterestinthematter，whichwasentirelyunconnectedwiththeinterestofkeepingManuelandMidwinterapart。ThusfarI

hadonlyrememberedthatMidwinter’sfatalismhadsmoothedthewayforme，byabandoningArmadalebeforehandtoanystrangerwhomightcomeforwardtohelphim。ThusfarthesoleobjectIhadkeptinviewwastoprotectmyself，bythesacrificeofArmadale，fromtheexposurethatthreatenedme。ItellnoliestomyDiary。

Idon’taffecttohavefeltamoment’sconsiderationfortheinterestsofArmadale’spurseorthesafetyofArmadale’slife。I

hatedhimtoosavagelytocarewhatpitfallsmytonguemightbethemeansofopeningunderhisfeet。ButIcertainlydidnotsee(untilthatlastquestionwasputtome)that，inservinghisowndesigns，Manuelmight——ifhedaredgoalllengthsforthemoney——beservingmydesignstoo。TheoneoverpoweringanxietytoprotectmyselffromexposurebeforeMidwinterhad(Isuppose)

filledallmymind，totheexclusionofeverythingelse。

“FindingthatImadenoreplyforthemoment，Manuelreiteratedhisquestion，puttingitinanewform。

“’YouhavecastyourEnglishmanatme，’hesaid，’likethesoptoCerberus。Wouldyouhavebeenquitesoreadytodothatifyouhadnothadamotiveofyourown？Irepeatmyquestion。Youhaveaninterestinthis——whatisit？’

“’Ihavetwointerests，’Ianswered。’Theinterestofforcingyoutorespectmypositionhere，andtheinterestofriddingmyselfofthesightofyouatonceandforever！’Ispokewithaboldnesshehadnotyetheardfromme。ThesensethatIwasmakingthevillainaninstrumentinmyhands，andforcinghimtohelpmypurposeblindly，whilehewashelpinghisown，rousedmyspirits，andmademefeellikemyselfagain。

“Helaughed。’Stronglanguage，oncertainoccasions，isalady’sprivilege，’hesaid。’Youmay，ormaynot，ridyourselfofthesightofme，atonceandforever。Wewillleavethatquestiontobesettledinthefuture。Butyourotherinterestinthismatterpuzzlesme。YouhavetoldmeallIneedknowabouttheEnglishmanandhisyacht，andyouhavemadenoconditionsbeforeyouopenedyourlips。Pray，howareyoutoforceme，asyousay，torespectyourpositionhere？’

“’Iwilltellyouhow，’Irejoined。’Youshallhearmyconditionsfirst。Iinsistonyourleavingmeinfiveminutesmore。IinsistonyourneveragaincomingnearthehousewhereI

live;andIforbidyourattemptingtocommunicateinanywayeitherwithmeorwiththatothergentlemanwhomyousawwithmeatthetheater——’

“’AndsupposeIsayno？’heinterposed。’Inthatcase，whatwillyoudo？’

“’Inthatcase，’Ianswered，’IshallsaytwowordsinprivatetotherichyoungEnglishman，andyouwillfindyourselfbackagainamongthechorusattheopera。’

“’YouareaboldwomantotakeitforgrantedthatIhavemydesignsontheEnglishmanalready，andthatIamcertaintosucceedinthem。Howdoyouknow——？’

“’Iknow_you，_’Isaid。’Andthatisenough。’

“Therewasamoment’ssilencebetweenus。Helookedatme，andI

lookedathim。Weunderstoodeachother。

“Hewasthefirsttospeak。Thevillainoussmilediedoutofhisface，andhisvoicedroppedagaindistrustfullytoitslowesttones。

“’Iacceptyourterms，’hesaid。’Aslongasyourlipsareclosed，mylipsshallbeclosedtoo——exceptintheeventofmyfindingthatyouhavedeceivedme;inwhichcasethebargainisatanend，andyouwillseemeagain。IshallpresentmyselftotheEnglishmanto-morrow，withthenecessarycredentialstoestablishmeinhisconfidence。Tellmehisname？’

“Itoldit。

“’Givemehisaddress？’

“Igaveit，andturnedtoleavehim。BeforeIhadsteppedoutoftheshelteroftheboats，Iheardhimbehindmeagain。

“’Onelastword，’hesaid。’Accidentssometimeshappenatsea。

HaveyouinterestenoughintheEnglishman——ifanaccidenthappensinhiscase——towishtoknowwhathasbecomeofhim？’

“Istopped，andconsideredonmyside。IhadplainlyfailedtopersuadehimthatIhadnosecrettoserveinplacingArmadale’smoneyand(asaprobableconsequence)Armadale’slifeathismercy。Anditwasnowequallyclearthathewascunninglyattemptingtoassociatehimselfwithmyprivateobjects(whatevertheymightbe)byopeningameansofcommunicationbetweenusinthefuture。Therecouldbenohesitationabouthowtoanswerhimundersuchcircumstancesasthese。Ifthe’accident’atwhichhehinteddidreallyhappentoArmadale，IstoodinnoneedofManuel’sinterventiontogivemetheintelligenceofit。AneasysearchthroughtheobituarycolumnsoftheEnglishpaperswouldtellmethenews——withthegreatadditionaladvantagethatthepapersmightbereliedon，insuchamatterasthis，totellthetruth。IformallythankedManuel，anddeclinedtoaccepthisproposal。’HavingnointerestintheEnglishman，’Isaid，’Ihavenowishw