下载辰思小说免费APP
“Thelastformsandceremoniespreliminarytoourmarriagehavebeencompliedwith。IamtobehiswifeonMondaynext。Thehourmustnotbelaterthanhalf-pastten——whichwillgiveusjusttime，whentheserviceisover，togetfromthechurchdoortotherailway，andtostartonourjourneytoNaplesthesameday。
“To-day——Saturday——Sunday！Iamnotafraidofthetime;thetimewillpass。Iamnotafraidofmyself，ifIcanonlykeepallthoughtsbutoneoutofmymind。Ilovehim！Dayandnight，tillMondaycomes，Iwillthinkofnothingbutthat。Ilovehim！
“Fouro’clock——Otherthoughtsareforcedintomymindinspiteofme。Mysuspicionsofyesterdaywerenomerefancies;themillinerhasbeentamperedwith。Myfollyingoingbacktoherhousehasledtomybeingtracedhere。IamabsolutelycertainthatInevergavethewomanmyaddress;andyetmynewgownwassenthometomeattwoo’clockto-day！
“Amanbroughtitwiththebill，andacivilmessage，tosaythat，asIhadnotcalledattheappointedtimetotryitonagain，thedresshadbeenfinishedandsenttome。Hecaughtmeinthepassage;Ihadnochoicebuttopaythebill，anddismisshim。Anyotherproceeding，aseventshavenowturnedout，wouldhavebeenpurefolly。Themessenger(notthemanwhofollowedmeinthestreet，butanotherspysenttolookatme，beyondalldoubt)wouldhavedeclaredheknewnothingaboutit，ifIhadspokentohim。Themillinerwouldtellmetomyface，ifIwenttoher，thatIhadgivenhermyaddress。Theoneusefulthingtodonowistosetmywitstoworkintheinterestsofmyownsecurity，andtostepoutofthefalsepositioninwhichmyownrashnesshasplacedme——ifIcan。
“Seveno’clock——Myspiritshaverisenagain。IbelieveIaminafairwayofextricatingmyselfalready。
“Ihavejustcomebackfromalongroundinacab。First，tothecloak-roomoftheGreatWestern，togettheluggagewhichIsenttherefromAllSaints’Terrace。Next，tothecloak-roomoftheSoutheastern，toleavemyluggage(labeledinMidwinter’sname)，towaitformetillthestartingofthetidaltrainonMonday。
Next，totheGeneralPost-office，topostalettertoMidwinterattherectory，whichhewillreceiveto-morrowmorning。Lastly，backagaintothishouse——fromwhichIshallmovenomoretillMondaycomes。
“MylettertoMidwinterwill，Ihavelittledoubt，leadtohisseconding(quiteinnocently)theprecautionsthatIamtakingformyownsafety。TheshortnessofthetimeatourdisposalonMondaywillobligehimtopayhisbillatthehotelandtoremovehisluggagebeforethemarriageceremonytakesplace。AllIaskhimtodobeyondthisistotaketheluggagehimselftotheSoutheastern(soastomakeanyinquiriesuselesswhichmayaddressthemselvestotheservantsatthehotel)——and，thatdone，tomeetmeatthechurchdoor，insteadofcallingformehere。
Therestconcernsnobodybutmyself。WhenSundaynightorMondaymorningcomes，itwillbehard，indeed——freedasIamnowfromallincumbrances——ifIcan’tgivethepeoplewhoarewatchingmetheslipforthesecondtime。
“ItseemsneedlessenoughtohavewrittentoMidwinterto-day，whenheiscomingbacktometo-morrownight。Butitwasimpossibletoask，whatIhavebeenobligedtoaskofhim，withoutmakingmyfalsefamilycircumstancesoncemoretheexcuse;andhavingthistodo——Imustownthetruth——Iwrotetohimbecause，afterwhatIsufferedonthelastoccasion，Icanneveragaindeceivehimtohisface。
“August9th——Twoo’clock——Iroseearlythismorning，moredepressedinspiritsthanusual。There-beginningofone’slife，atthere-beginningofeveryday，hasalreadybeensomethingwearyandhopelesstomeforyearspast。Idreamed，too，allthroughthenight——notofMidwinterandofmymarriedlife，asI
hadhopedtodream——butofthewretchedconspiracytodiscoverme，bywhichIhavebeendrivenfromoneplacetoanother，likeahuntedanimal。Nothingintheshapeofanewrevelationenlightenedmeinmysleep。AllIcouldguessdreamingwaswhatI
hadguessedwaking，thatMotherOldershawistheenemywhoisattackingmeinthedark。
“Myrestlessnighthas，however，producedonesatisfactoryresult。Ithasledtomywinningthegoodgracesoftheservanthere，andsecuringalltheassistanceshecangivemewhenthetimecomesformakingmyescape。
“ThegirlnoticedthismorningthatIlookedpaleandanxious。I
tookherintomyconfidence，totheextentoftellingherthatI
wasprivatelyengagedtobemarried，andthatIhadenemieswhoweretryingtopartmefrommysweetheart。Thisinstantlyrousedhersympathy，andapresentofaten-shillingpieceforherkindservicestomedidtherest。Intheintervalsofherhouseworkshehasbeenwithmenearlythewholemorning;andIfoundout，amongotherthings，that_her_sweetheartisaprivatesoldierintheGuards，andthatsheexpectstoseehimto-morrow。Ihavegotmoneyenoughleft，littleasitis，toturntheheadofanyPrivateintheBritisharmy;and，ifthepersonappointedtowatchmeto-morrowisaman，IthinkitjustpossiblethathemayfindhisattentiondisagreeablydivertedfromMissGwiltinthecourseoftheevening。
“WhenMidwintercameherelastfromtherailway，hecameathalf-pasteight。HowamItogetthroughtheweary，wearyhoursbetweenthisandtheevening？IthinkIshalldarkenmybedroom，anddrinktheblessingofoblivionfrommybottleofDrops。
“Eleveno’clock——Wehavepartedforthelasttimebeforethedaycomesthatmakesusmanandwife。
“Hehasleftme。asheleftmebefore，withanabsorbingsubjectofinteresttothinkofinhisabsence。Inoticedachangeinhimthemomentheenteredtheroom。Whenhetoldmeofthefuneral，andofhispartingwithArmadaleonboardtheyacht，thoughhespokewithfeelingsdeeplymoved，hespokewithamasteryoverhimselfwhichisnewtomeinmyexperienceofhim。Itwasthesamewhenourtalkturnednextonourownhopesandprospects。Hewasplainlydisappointedwhenhefoundthatmyfamilyembarrassmentswouldpreventourmeetingto-morrow，andplainlyuneasyattheprospectofleavingmetofindmywaybymyselfonMondaytothechurch。Buttherewasacertainhopefulnessandcomposureofmannerunderlyingitall，whichproducedsostronganimpressiononmethatIwasobligedtonoticeit。
“’Youknowwhatoddfanciestakepossessionofmesometimes，’I
said。’ShallItellyouthefancythathastakenpossessionofmenow？Ican’thelpthinkingthatsomethinghashappenedsincewelastsaweachotherwhichyouhavenottoldmeyet。
“’Something_has_happened，’heanswered。’Anditissomethingwhichyououghttoknow。’
“Withthosewordshetookouthispocket-book，andproducedtwowrittenpapersfromit。Onehelookedatandputback。Theotherheplacedonthetable。
“’BeforeItellyouwhatthisis，andhowitcameintomypossession，’hesaid，’ImustownsomethingthatIhaveconcealedfromyou。Itisnomoreseriousconfessionthantheconfessionofmyownweakness。’
“HethenacknowledgedtomethattherenewalofhisfriendshipwithArmadalehadbeenclouded，throughthewholeperiodoftheirintercourseinLondon，byhisownsuperstitiousmisgivings。Hehadobeyedthesummonswhichcalledhimtotherector’sbedside，withthefirmintentionofconfidinghisprevisionsofcomingtroubletoMr。Brock;andhehadbeendoublyconfirmedinhissuperstitionwhenhefoundthatDeathhadenteredthehousebeforehim，andhadpartedthem，inthisworld，forever。Morethanthis，hehadtraveledbacktobepresentatthefuneral，withasecretsenseofreliefattheprospectofbeingpartedfromArmadale，andwithasecretresolutiontomaketheafter-meetingagreedonbetweenusthreeatNaplesameetingthatshouldnevertakeplace。Withthatpurposeinhisheart，hehadgoneupalonetotheroompreparedforhimonhisarrivalattherectory，andhadopenedaletterwhichhefoundwaitingforhimonthetable。Theletterhadonlythatdaybeendiscovered——droppedandlost——underthebedonwhichMr。Brockhaddied。Itwasintherector’shandwritingthroughout;andthepersontowhomitwasaddressedwasMidwinterhimself。
“Havingtoldmethis，nearlyinthewordsinwhichIhavewrittenit，hegavemethewrittenpaperthatlayonthetablebetweenus。
“’Readit，’hesaid;’andyouwillnotneedtobetoldthatmymindisatpeaceagain，andthatItookAllan’shandatpartingwithaheartthatwasworthierofAllan’slove。’
“Ireadtheletter。Therewasnosuperstitiontobeconqueredin_my_mind;therewerenooldfeelingsofgratitudetowardArmadaletoberousedin_my_heart;andyet，theeffectwhichtheletterhadhadonMidwinterwas，Ifirmlybelieve，morethanmatchedbytheeffectthattheletternowproducedonMe。
“Itwasvaintoaskhimtoleaveit，andtoletmereaditagain(asIwished)whenIwasleftbymyself。HeisdeterminedtokeepitsidebysidewiththatotherpaperwhichIhadseenhimtakeoutofhispocket-book，andwhichcontainsthewrittennarrativeofArmadale’sDream。AllIcoulddowastoaskhisleavetocopyit;andthishegrantedreadily。Iwrotethecopyinhispresence;andInowplaceithereinmydiary，tomarkadaywhichisoneofthememorabledaysinmylife。
“BoscombeRectory，August2d。
“MYDEARMIDWINTER——Forthefirsttimesincethebeginningofmyillness，Ifoundstrengthenoughyesterdaytolookovermyletters。OneamongthemisaletterfromAllan，whichhasbeenlyingunopenedonmytablefortendayspast。Hewritestomeingreatdistress，tosaythattherehasbeendissensionbetweenyou，andthatyouhavelefthim。Ifyoustillrememberwhatpassedbetweenus。whenyoufirstopenedyourhearttomeintheIsleofMan，youwillbeatnolosstounderstandhowIhavethoughtoverthismiserablenews，throughthenightthathasnowpassed，andyouwillnotbesurprisedtohearthatIhaverousedmyselfthismorningtomaketheeffortofwritingtoyou。
“Iwantnoexplanationofthecircumstanceswhichhavepartedyoufromyourfriend。Ifmyestimateofyourcharacterisnotfoundedonanentiredelusion，theoneinfluencewhichcanhaveledtoyourestrangementfromAllanistheinfluenceofthatevilspiritofSuperstitionwhichIhaveoncealreadycastoutofyourheart——whichIwillonceagainconquer，pleaseGod，ifIhavestrengthenoughtomakemypenspeakmymindtoyouinthisletter。
“ItisnopartofmydesigntocombatthebeliefwhichIknowyoutohold，thatmortalcreaturesmaybetheobjectsofsupernaturalinterventionintheirpilgrimagethroughthisworld。Speakingasareasonableman，IownthatIcannotproveyoutobewrong。
SpeakingasabelieverintheBible，Iamboundtogofurther，andtoadmitthatyoupossessahigherthananyhumanwarrantforthefaiththatisinyou。TheoneobjectwhichIhaveitathearttoattainistoinduceyoutofreeyourselffromtheparalyzingfatalismoftheheathenandthesavage，andtolookatthemysteriesthatperplex，andtheportentsthatdauntyou，fromtheChristian’spointofview。IfIcansucceedinthis，Ishallclearyourmindoftheghastlydoubtsthatnowoppressit，andI
shallreuniteyoutoyourfriend，nevertobepartedfromhimagain。
“Ihavenomeansofseeingandquestioningyou。IcanonlysendthislettertoAllantobeforwarded，ifheknows，orcandiscover，yourpresentaddress。Placedinthispositiontowardyou，Iamboundtoassumeallthat_can_beassumedinyourfavor。IwilltakeitforgrantedthatsomethinghashappenedtoyouortoAllanwhichtoyourmindhasnotonlyconfirmedthefatalistconvictioninwhichyourfatherdied，buthasaddedanewandterriblemeaningtothewarningwhichhesentyouinhisdeath-bedletter。
“OnthiscommongroundImeetyou。OnthiscommongroundIappealtoyourhighernatureandyourbettersense。
“Preserveyourpresentconvictionthattheeventswhichhavehappened(betheywhattheymay)arenottobereconciledwithordinarymortalcoincidencesandordinarymortallaws;andviewyourownpositionbythebestandclearestlightthatyoursuperstitioncanthrowonit。Whatareyou？YouareahelplessinstrumentinthehandsofFate。Youaredoomed，beyondallhumancapacityofresistance，tobringmiseryanddestructionblindfoldonamantowhomyouhaveharmlesslyandgratefullyunitedyourselfinthebondsofabrother’slove。Allthatismorallyfirmestinyourwillandmorallypurestinyouraspirationsavailsnothingagainstthehereditaryimpulsionofyoutowardevil，causedbyacrimewhichyourfathercommittedbeforeyouwereborn。Inwhatdoesthatbeliefend？Itendsinthedarknessinwhichyouarenowlost;intheself-contradictionsinwhichyouarenowbewildered;inthestubborndespairbywhichamanprofaneshisownsoul，andlowershimselftothelevelofthebrutesthatperish。
“Lookup，mypoorsufferingbrother——lookup，myhardlytried，mywell-lovedfriend，higherthanthis！Meetthedoubtsthatnowassailyoufromtheblessedvantage-groundofChristiancourageandChristianhope;andyourheartwillturnagaintoAllan，andyourmindwillbeatpeace。Happenwhatmay，Godisall-merciful，Godisall-wise:naturalorsupernatural，ithappensthroughHim。
ThemysteryofEvilthatperplexesourfeebleminds，thesorrowandthesufferingthattortureusinthislittlelife，leavetheonegreattruthunshakenthatthedestinyofmanisinthehandsofhisCreator，andthatGod’sblessedSondiedtomakeusworthierofit。NothingthatisdoneinunquestioningsubmissiontothewisdomoftheAlmightyisdonewrong。Noevilexistsoutofwhich，inobediencetohislaws，Goodmaynotcome。BetruetowhatChristtellsyouistrue。Encourageinyourself，bethecircumstanceswhattheymay，allthatisloving，allthatisgrateful，allthatispatient，allthatisforgiving，towardyourfellow-men。AndhumblyandtrustfullyleavetheresttotheGodwhomadeyou，andtotheSaviourwholovedyoubetterthanhisownlife。
“ThisisthefaithinwhichIhavelived，bytheDivinehelpandmercy，frommyyouthupward。Iaskyouearnestly，Iaskyouconfidently，tomakeityourfaith，too。ItisthemainspringofallthegoodIhaveeverdone，ofallthehappinessIhaveeverknown;itlightensmydarkness，itsustainsmyhope;itcomfortsandquietsme，lyinghere，toliveordie，Iknownotwhich。Letitsustain，comfort，andenlightenyou。Itwillhelpyouinyoursorestneed，asithashelpedmeinmine。ItwillshowyouanotherpurposeintheeventswhichbroughtyouandAllantogetherthanthepurposewhichyourguiltyfatherforesaw。
Strangethings，Idonotdenyit，havehappenedtoyoualready。
Strangerthingsstillmayhappenbeforelong，whichImaynotlivetosee。Remember，ifthattimecomes，thatIdiedfirmlydisbelievinginyourinfluenceoverAllanbeingotherthananinfluenceforgood。ThegreatsacrificeoftheAtonement——Isayitreverently——hasitsmortalreflections，eveninthisworld。IfdangereverthreatensAllan，you，whosefathertookhisfather’slife——YOU，andnoother，maybethemanwhomtheprovidenceofGodhasappointedtosavehim。
“CometomeifIlive。Gobacktothefriendwholovesyou，whetherIliveordie。
“Yoursaffectionatelytothelast，“DECIMUSBROCK。”
“’YOU，andnoother，maybethemanwhomtheprovidenceofGodhasappointedtosavehim！’
“Thosearethewordswhichhaveshakenmetothesoul。Thosearethewordswhichmakemefeelasifthedeadmanhadlefthisgrave，andhadputhishandontheplaceinmyheartwheremyterriblesecretlieshiddenfromeverylivingcreaturebutmyself。Onepartoftheletterhascometruealready。ThedangerthatitforeseesthreatensArmadaleatthismoment——andthreatenshimfromMe！
“Ifthefavoringcircumstanceswhichhavedrivenmethusfardrivemeontotheend，andifthatoldman’slastearthlyconvictionispropheticofthetruth，Armadalewillescapeme，dowhatImay。AndMidwinterwillbethevictimwhoissacrificedtosavehislife。
“Itishorrible！itisimpossible！itshallneverbe！Atthethinkingofitonly，myhandtremblesandmyheartsinks。Iblessthetremblingthatunnervesme！Iblessthesinkingthatturnsmefaint！Iblessthosewordsintheletterwhichhaverevivedtherelentingthoughtsthatfirstcametometwodayssince！Isithard，nowthateventsaretakingme，smoothlyandsafely，nearerandnearertotheEnd——isithardtoconquerthetemptationtogoon？No！IfthereisonlyachanceofharmcomingtoMidwinter，thedreadofthatchanceisenoughtodecideme——enoughtostrengthenmetoconquerthetemptation，forhissake。Ihaveneverlovedhimyet，never，never，neverasIlovehimnow！
“Sunday，August10th——Theeveofmywedding-day！Icloseandlockthisbook，nevertowriteinit，nevertoopenitagain。
“Ihavewonthegreatvictory;Ihavetrampledmyownwickednessunderfoot。Iaminnocent;Iamhappyagain。Mylove！myangel！
whento-morrowgivesmetoyou，Iwillnothaveathoughtinmyheartwhichisnot_your_thought，aswellasmine！“
CHAPTERXV。
THEWEDDING-DAY。
THEtimewasnineo’clockinthemorning。Theplacewasaprivateroominoneoftheold-fashionedinnswhichstillremainontheBoroughsideoftheThames。ThedatewasMonday，the11thofAugust。AndthepersonwasMr。Bashwood，whohadtraveledtoLondononasummonsfromhisson，andhadtakenuphisabodeattheinnonthepreviousday。
Hehadneveryetlookedsopitiablyoldandhelplessashelookednow。Thefeverandchillofalternatinghopeanddespairhaddried，andwithered，andwastedhim。Theanglesofhisfigurehadsharpened。Theoutlineofhisfacehadshrunk。Hisdresspointedthemelancholychangeinhimwithamercilessandshockingemphasis。Never，eveninhisyouth，hadhewornsuchclothesasheworenow。WiththedesperateresolutiontoleavenochanceuntriedofproducinganimpressiononMissGwilt，hehadcastasidehisdrearyblackgarments;hehadevenmusteredthecouragetowearhisbluesatincravat。Hiscoatwasariding-coatoflightgray。Hehadorderedit，withavindictivesubtletyofpurpose，tobemadeonthepatternofacoatthathehadseenAllanwear。Hiswaistcoatwaswhite;histrouserswereofthegayestsummerpattern，inthelargestcheck。Hiswigwasoiledandscented，andbrushedround，oneitherside，tohidethewrinklesonhistemples。Hewasanobjecttolaughat;hewasanobjecttoweepover。Hisenemies，ifacreaturesowretchedcouldhavehadenemies，wouldhaveforgivenhim，onseeinghiminhisnewdress。Hisfriends——hadanyofhisfriendsbeenleft——wouldhavebeenlessdistressediftheyhadlookedathiminhiscoffinthaniftheyhadlookedathimashewasnow。Incessantlyrestless，hepacedtheroomfromendtoend。Nowhelookedathiswatch;nowhelookedoutofthewindow;nowhelookedatthewell-furnishedbreakfast-table——alwayswiththesamewistful，uneasyinquiryinhiseyes。Thewaitercomingin，withtheurnofboilingwater，wasaddressedforthefiftiethtimeintheoneformofwordswhichthemiserablecreatureseemedtobecapableofutteringthatmorning:“Mysoniscomingtobreakfast。Mysonisveryparticular。Iwanteverythingofthebest——hotthingsandcoldthings——andteaandcoffee——andalltherestofit，waiter;
alltherestofit。”Forthefiftiethtime，henowreiteratedthoseanxiouswords。Forthefiftiethtime，theimpenetrablewaiterhadjustreturnedhisonepacifyinganswer，“Allright，sir;youmayleaveittome“——whenthesoundofleisurelyfootstepswasheardonthestairs;thedooropened;andthelong-expectedsonsaunteredindolentlyintotheroom，withaneatlittleblackleatherbaginhishand。
“Welldone，oldgentleman！“saidBashwoodtheyounger，surveyinghisfather’sdresswithasmileofsardonicencouragement。
“You’rereadytobemarriedtoMissGwiltatamoment’snotice！“
Thefathertooktheson’shand，andtriedtoechotheson’slaugh。
“Youhavesuchgoodspirits，Jemmy。”hesaid，usingthenameinitsfamiliarform，ashehadbeenaccustomedtouseitinhappierdays。“Youalwayshadgoodspirits，mydear，fromachild。Comeandsitdown;I’veorderedyouanicebreakfast。Everythingofthebest！everythingofthebest！Whatareliefitistoseeyou！
Oh，dear，dear，whatareliefitistoseeyou。”Hestoppedandsatdownatthetable，hisfaceflushedwiththeefforttocontroltheimpatiencethatwasdevouringhim。“Tellmeabouther！“heburstout，givinguptheeffortwithasuddenself-abandonment。“Ishalldie，Jemmy，ifIwaitforitanylonger。Tellme！tellme！tellme！“
“Onethingatatime。”saidBashwoodtheyounger，perfectlyunmovedbyhisfather’simpatience。“We’lltrythebreakfastfirst，andcometotheladyafterward！Gentlydoesit，oldgentleman——gentlydoesit！“
Heputhisleatherbagonachair，andsatdownoppositetohisfather，composed，andsmiling，andhummingalittletune。
Noordinaryobservation，applyingtheordinaryrulesofanalysis，wouldhavedetectedthecharacterofBashwoodtheyoungerinhisface。Hisyouthfullook，aidedbyhislighthairandhisplumpbeardlesscheeks，hiseasymannerandhisever-readysmile，hiseyeswhichmetunshrinkinglytheeyesofeveryonewhomheaddressed，allcombinedtomaketheimpressionofhimafavorableimpressioninthegeneralmind。Noeyeforreadingcharacter，butsuchaneyeasbelongstooneperson，perhaps，intenthousand，couldhavepenetratedthesmoothlydeceptivesurfaceofthisman，andhaveseenhimforwhathereallywas——thevilecreaturewhomthevilerneedofSocietyhasfashionedforitsownuse。Therehesat——theConfidentialSpyofmoderntimes，whosebusinessissteadilyenlarging，whosePrivateInquiryOfficesaresteadilyontheincrease。Therehesat——thenecessaryDetectiveattendantontheprogressofournationalcivilization;amanwhowas，inthisinstanceatleast，thelegitimateandintelligibleproductofthevocationthatemployedhim;amanprofessionallyreadyonthemerestsuspicion(ifthemerestsuspicionpaidhim)togetunderourbeds，andtolookthroughgimlet-holesinourdoors;amanwhowouldhavebeenuselesstohisemployersifhecouldhavefeltatouchofhumansympathyinhisfather’spresence;andwhowouldhavedeservedlyforfeitedhissituationif，underanycircumstanceswhatever，hehadbeenpersonallyaccessibletoasenseofpityorasenseofshame。
“Gentlydoesit，oldgentleman。”herepeated，liftingthecoversfromthedishes，andlookingunderthemoneaftertheotherallroundthetable。“Gentlydoesit！“
“Don’tbeangrywithme，Jemmy。”pleadedhisfather
