下载辰思小说免费APP
\'Thank\'ee，Wegg，bothforyourconfidenceinmeandforyourfrequentdroppingintopoetry；bothofwhichisfriendly。Well，then；myideais，thatyoushouldgiveupyourstall，andthatI
shouldputyouintotheBowerhere，tokeepitforus。It\'sapleasantspot；andamanwithcoalsandcandlesandapoundaweekmightbeincloverhere。\'
\'Hem！Wouldthatman，sir——wewillsaythatman，forthepurposesofargueyment；\'MrWeggmadeasmilingdemonstrationofgreatperspicuityhere；\'wouldthatman，sir，beexpectedtothrowanyothercapacityin，orwouldanyothercapacitybeconsideredextra?
Nowletus(forthepurposesofargueyment)supposethatmantobeengagedasareader:say(forthepurposesofargunyment)intheevening。Wouldthatman\'spayasareaderintheevening，beaddedtotheotheramount，which，adoptingyourlanguage，wewillcallclover；orwoulditmergeintothatamount，orclover?\'
\'Well，\'saidMrBoffin，\'Isupposeitwouldbeadded。\'
\'Isupposeitwould，sir。Youareright，sir。Exactlymyownviews，MrBoffin。\'HereWeggrose，andbalancinghimselfonhiswoodenleg，flutteredoverhispreywithextendedhand。\'MrBoffin，consideritdone。Saynomore，sir，notawordmore。MystallandIareforeverparted。Thecollectionofballadswillinfuturebereservedforprivatestudy，withtheobjectofmakingpoetrytributary\'——Weggwassoproudofhavingfoundthisword，thathesaiditagain，withacapitalletter——\'Tributary，tofriendship。MrBoffin，don\'tallowyourselftobemadeuncomfortablebythepangitgivesmetopartfrommystockandstall。SimilaremotionwasundergonebymyownfatherwhenpromotedforhismeritsfromhisoccupationasawatermantoasituationunderGovernment。
HisChristiannamewasThomas。Hiswordsatthetime(Iwasthenaninfant，butsodeepwastheirimpressiononme，thatI
committedthemtomemory)were:
Thenfarewellmytrim-builtwherry，Oarsandcoatandbadgefarewell！
NevermoreatChelseaFerry，ShallyourThomastakeaspell！——
Myfathergotoverit，MrBoffin，andsoshallI。\'
Whiledeliveringthesevaledictoryobservations，WeggcontinuallydisappointedMrBoffinofhishandbyflourishingitintheair。Henowdarteditathispatron，whotookit，andfelthismindrelievedofagreatweight:observingthatastheyhadarrangedtheirjointaffairssosatisfactorily，hewouldnowhegladtolookintothoseofBullySawyers。Which，indeed，hadbeenleftover-nightinaveryunpromisingposture，andforwhoseimpendingexpeditionagainstthePersianstheweatherhadbeenbynomeansfavourableallday。
MrWeggresumedhisspectaclestherefore。ButSawyerswasnottobeofthepartythatnight；for，beforeWegghadfoundhisplace，MrsBoffin\'streadwashearduponthestairs，sounusuallyheavyandhurried，thatMrBoffinwouldhavestartedupatthesound，anticipatingsomeoccurrencemuchoutofthecommoncourse，eventhoughshehadnotalsocalledtohiminanagitatedtone。
MrBoffinhurriedout，andfoundheronthedarkstaircase，panting，withalightedcandleinherhand。
\'What\'sthematter，mydear?\'
\'Idon\'tknow；Idon\'tknow；butIwishyou\'dcomeup-stairs。\'
Muchsurprised，MrBoffinwentupstairsandaccompaniedMrsBoffinintotheirownroom:asecondlargeroomonthesamefloorastheroominwhichthelateproprietorhaddied。MrBoffinlookedallroundhim，andsawnothingmoreunusualthanvariousarticlesoffoldedlinenonalargechest，whichMrsBoffinhadbeensorting。
\'Whatisit，mydear?Why，you\'refrightened！YOUfrightened?\'
\'Iamnotoneofthatsortcertainly，\'saidMrsBoffin，asshesatdowninachairtorecoverherself，andtookherhusband\'sarm；\'butit\'sverystrange！\'
\'Whatis，mydear?\'
\'Noddy，thefacesoftheoldmanandthetwochildrenarealloverthehouseto-night。\'
\'Mydear?\'exclaimedMrBoffin。Butnotwithoutacertainuncomfortablesensationglidingdownhisback。
\'Iknowitmustsoundfoolish，andyetitisso。\'
\'Wheredidyouthinkyousawthem?\'
\'Idon\'tknowthatIthinkIsawthemanywhere。Ifeltthem。\'
\'Touchedthem?\'
\'No。Feltthemintheair。Iwassortingthosethingsonthechest，andnotthinkingoftheoldmanorthechildren，butsingingtomyself，whenallinamomentIfelttherewasafacegrowingoutofthedark。\'
\'Whatface?\'askedherhusband，lookingabouthim。
\'Foramomentitwastheoldman\'s，andthenitgotyounger。Foramomentitwasboththechildren\'s，andthenitgotolder。Foramomentitwasastrangeface，andthenitwasallthefaces。\'
\'Andthenitwasgone?\'
\'Yes；andthenitwasgone。\'
\'Wherewereyouthen，oldlady?\'
\'Here，atthechest。Well；Igotthebetterofit，andwentonsorting，andwentonsingingtomyself。“Lor！“Isays，“I\'llthinkofsomethingelse——somethingcomfortable——andputitoutofmyhead。”SoIthoughtofthenewhouseandMissBellaWilfer，andwasthinkingatagreatratewiththatsheetthereinmyhand，whenallofasudden，thefacesseemedtobehiddeninamongthefoldsofitandIletitdrop。\'
Asitstilllayonthefloorwhereithadfallen，MrBoffinpickeditupandlaiditonthechest。
\'Andthenyourandownstairs?\'
\'No。IthoughtI\'dtryanotherroom，andshakeitoff。Isaystomyself，“I\'llgoandwalkslowlyupanddowntheoldman\'sroomthreetimes，fromendtoend，andthenIshallhaveconqueredit。”I
wentinwiththecandleinmyhand；butthemomentIcamenearthebed，theairgotthickwiththem。\'
\'Withthefaces?\'
\'Yes，andIevenfeltthattheywereinthedarkbehindtheside-
door，andonthelittlestaircase，floatingawayintotheyard。Then，Icalledyou。\'
MrBoffin，lostinamazement，lookedatMrsBoffin。MrsBoffin，lostinherownflutteredinabilitytomakethisout，lookedatMrBoffin。
\'Ithink，mydear，\'saidtheGoldenDustman，\'I\'llatoncegetridofWeggforthenight，becausehe\'scomingtoinhabittheBower，anditmightbeputintohisheadorsomebodyelse\'s，ifheheardthisanditgotaboutthatthehouseishaunted。Whereasweknowbetter。Don\'twe?\'
\'Ineverhadthefeelinginthehousebefore，\'saidMrsBoffin；\'andI
havebeenaboutitaloneatallhoursofthenight。IhavebeeninthehousewhenDeathwasinit，andIhavebeeninthehousewhenMurderwasanewpartofitsadventures，andIneverhadafrightinityet。\'
\'Andwon\'tagain，mydear，\'saidMrBoffin。\'Dependuponit，itcomesofthinkinganddwellingonthatdarkspot。\'
\'Yes；butwhydidn\'titcomebefore?\'askedMrsBoffin。
ThisdraftonMrBoffin\'sphilosophycouldonlybemetbythatgentlemanwiththeremarkthateverythingthatisatall，mustbeginatsometime。Then，tuckinghiswife\'sarmunderhisown，thatshemightnotbeleftbyherselftobetroubledagain，hedescendedtoreleaseWegg。Who，beingsomethingdrowsyafterhisplentifulrepast，andconstitutionallyofashirkingtemperament，waswellenoughpleasedtostumpaway，withoutdoingwhathehadcometodo，andwaspaidfordoing。
MrBoffinthenputonhishat，andMrsBoffinhershawl；andthepair，furtherprovidedwithabunchofkeysandalightedlantern，wentalloverthedismalhouse——dismaleverywhere，butintheirowntworooms——fromcellartocock-loft。NotrestingsatisfiedwithgivingthatmuchchacetoMrsBoffin\'sfancies，theypursuedthemintotheyardandoutbuildings，andundertheMounds。Andsettingthelantern，whenallwasdone，atthefootofoneoftheMounds，theycomfortablytrottedtoandfroforaneveningwalk，totheendthatthemurkycobwebsinMrsBoffin\'sbrainmightbeblownaway。
There，mydear！\'saidMrBoffinwhentheycameintosupper。
\'Thatwasthetreatment，yousee。Completelyworkedround，haven\'tyou?\'
\'Yes，deary，\'saidMrsBoffin，layingasidehershawl。\'I\'mnotnervousanymore。I\'mnotabittroublednow。I\'dgoanywhereaboutthehousethesameasever。But——\'
\'Eh！\'saidMrBoffin。
\'ButI\'veonlytoshutmyeyes。\'
\'Andwhatthen?\'
\'Whythen，\'saidMrsBoffin，speakingwithhereyesclosed，andherlefthandthoughtfullytouchingherbrow，\'then，theretheyare！
Theoldman\'sface，anditgetsyounger。Thetwochildren\'sfaces，andtheygetolder。AfacethatIdon\'tknow。Andthenallthefaces！\'
Openinghereyesagain，andseeingherhusband\'sfaceacrossthetable，sheleanedforwardtogiveitapatonthecheek，andsatdowntosupper，declaringittobethebestfaceintheworld。
Chapter16
MINDERSANDRE-MINDERS
TheSecretarylostnotimeingettingtowork，andhisvigilanceandmethodsoonsettheirmarkontheGoldenDustman\'saffairs。Hisearnestnessindeterminingtounderstandthelengthandbreadthanddepthofeverypieceofworksubmittedtohimbyhisemployer，wasasspecialashisdespatchintransactingit。Heacceptednoinformationorexplanationatsecondhand，butmadehimselfthemasterofeverythingconfidedtohim。
OnepartoftheSecretary\'sconduct，underlyingalltherest，mighthavebeenmistrustedbyamanwithabetterknowledgeofmenthantheGoldenDustmanhad。TheSecretarywasasfarfrombeinginquisitiveorintrusiveasSecretarycouldbe，butnothinglessthanacompleteunderstandingofthewholeoftheaffairswouldcontenthim。Itsoonbecameapparent(fromtheknowledgewithwhichhesetout)thathemusthavebeentotheofficewheretheHarmonwillwasregistered，andmusthavereadthewill。HeanticipatedMrBoffin\'sconsiderationwhetherheshouldbeadvisedwithonthisorthattopic，byshowingthathealreadyknewofitandunderstoodit。Hedidthiswithnoattemptatconcealment，seemingtobesatisfiedthatitwaspartofhisdutytohavepreparedhimselfatallattainablepointsforitsutmostdischarge。
Thismight——letitberepeated——haveawakenedsomelittlevaguemistrustinamanmoreworldly-wisethantheGoldenDustman。
Ontheotherhand，theSecretarywasdiscerning，discreet，andsilent，thoughaszealousasiftheaffairshadbeenhisown。Heshowednoloveofpatronageorthecommandofmoney，butdistinctlypreferredresigningbothtoMrBoffin。If，inhislimitedsphere，hesoughtpower，itwasthepowerofknowledge；thepowerderivablefromaperfectcomprehensionofhisbusiness。
AsontheSecretary\'sfacetherewasanamelesscloud，soonhismannertherewasashadowequallyindefinable。Itwasnotthathewasembarrassed，asonthatfirstnightwiththeWilferfamily；hewashabituallyunembarrassednow，andyetthesomethingremained。Itwasnotthathismannerwasbad，asonthatoccasion；
itwasnowverygood，asbeingmodest，gracious，andready。Yetthesomethingneverleftit。Ithasbeenwrittenofmenwhohaveundergoneacruelcaptivity，orwhohavepassedthroughaterriblestrait，orwhoinself-preservationhavekilledadefencelessfellow-
creature，thattherecordthereofhasneverfadedfromtheircountenancesuntiltheydied。Wasthereanysuchrecordhere?
Heestablishedatemporaryofficeforhimselfinthenewhouse，andallwentwellunderhishand，withonesingularexception。HemanifestlyobjectedtocommunicatewithMrBoffin\'ssolicitor。
Twoorthreetimes，whentherewassomeslightoccasionforhisdoingso，hetransferredthetasktoMrBoffin；andhisevasionofitsoonbecamesocuriouslyapparent，thatMrBoffinspoketohimonthesubjectofhisreluctance。
\'Itisso，\'theSecretaryadmitted。\'Iwouldrathernot。\'
HadheanypersonalobjectiontoMrLightwood?
\'Idon\'tknowhim。\'
Hadhesufferedfromlaw-suits?
\'Notmorethanothermen，\'washisshortanswer。
Washeprejudicedagainsttheraceoflawyers?
\'No。ButwhileIaminyouremployment，sir，Iwouldratherheexcusedfromgoingbetweenthelawyerandtheclient。Ofcourseifyoupressit，MrBoffin，Iamreadytocomply。ButIshouldtakeitasagreatfavourifyouwouldnotpressitwithouturgentoccasion。\'
Now，itcouldnotbesaidthatthereWASurgentoccasion，forLightwoodretainednootheraffairsinhishandsthansuchasstilllingeredandlanguishedabouttheundiscoveredcriminal，andsuchasaroseoutofthepurchaseofthehouse。Manyothermattersthatmighthavetravelledtohim，nowstoppedshortattheSecretary，underwhoseadministrationtheywerefarmoreexpeditiouslyandsatisfactorilydisposedofthantheywouldhavebeeniftheyhadgotintoYoungBlight\'sdomain。ThistheGoldenDustmanquiteunderstood。EventhematterimmediatelyinhandwasofverylittlemomentasrequiringpersonalappearanceontheSecretary\'spart，foritamountedtonomorethanthis:——ThedeathofHexamrenderingthesweatofthehonestman\'sbrowunprofitable，thehonestmanhadshufflinglydecidedtomoistenhisbrowfornothing，withthatsevereexertionwhichisknowninlegalcirclesasswearingyourwaythroughastonewall。Consequently，thatnewlighthadgonesputteringout。But，theairingoftheoldfactshadledsomeoneconcernedtosuggestthatitwouldbewellbeforetheywerereconsignedtotheirgloomyshelf——nowprobablyforever——toinduceorcompelthatMrJuliusHandfordtoreappearandbequestioned。AndalltracesofMrJuliusHandfordbeinglost，Lightwoodnowreferredtohisclientforauthoritytoseekhimthroughpublicadvertisement。
\'DoesyourobjectiongotowritingtoLightwood，Rokesmith?\'
\'Notintheleast，sir。\'
\'Thenperhapsyou\'llwritehimaline，andsayheisfreetodowhathelikes。Idon\'tthinkitpromises。\'
\'Idon\'tthinkitpromises，\'saidtheSecretary。
\'Still，hemaydowhathelikes。\'
\'Iwillwriteimmediately。Letmethankyouforsoconsideratelyyieldingtomydisinclination。Itmayseemlessunreasonable，ifI
avowtoyouthatalthoughIdon\'tknowMrLightwood，Ihaveadisagreeableassociationconnectedwithhim。Itisnothisfault；heisnotatalltoblameforit，anddoesnotevenknowmyname。\'
MrBoffindismissedthematterwithanodortwo。Theletterwaswritten，andnextdayMrJuliusHandfordwasadvertisedfor。HewasrequestedtoplacehimselfincommunicationwithMrMortimerLightwood，asapossiblemeansoffurtheringtheendsofjustice，andarewardwasofferedtoanyoneacquaintedwithhiswhereaboutwhowouldcommunicatethesametothesaidMrMortimerLightwoodathisofficeintheTemple。Everydayforsixweeksthisadvertisementappearedattheheadofallthenewspapers，andeverydayforsixweekstheSecretary，whenhesawit，saidtohimself；inthetoneinwhichhehadsaidtohisemployer，——\'Idon\'tthinkitpromises！\'
AmonghisfirstoccupationsthepursuitofthatorphanwantedbyMrsBoffinheldaconspicuousplace。Fromtheearliestmomentofhisengagementheshowedaparticulardesiretopleaseher，and，knowinghertohavethisobjectatheart，hefolloweditupwithunwearyingalacrityandinterest。
MrandMrsMilveyhadfoundtheirsearchadifficultone。Eitheraneligibleorphanwasofthewrongsex(whichalmostalwayshappened)orwastooold，ortooyoung，ortoosickly，ortoodirty，ortoomuchaccustomedtothestreets，ortoolikelytorunaway；or，itwasfoundimpossibletocompletethephilanthropictransactionwithoutbuyingtheorphan。For，theinstantitbecameknownthatanybodywantedtheorphan，upstartedsomeaffectionaterelativeoftheorphanwhoputapriceupontheorphan\'shead。Thesuddennessofanorphan\'sriseinthemarketwasnottobeparalleledbythemaddestrecordsoftheStockExchange。Hewouldbeatfivethousandpercentdiscountoutatnursemakingamudpieatnineinthemorning，and(beinginquiredfor)wouldgouptofivethousandpercentpremiumbeforenoon。Themarketwas\'rigged\'invariousartfulways。Counterfeitstockgotintocirculation。Parentsboldlyrepresentedthemselvesasdead，andbroughttheirorphanswiththem。Genuineorphan-stockwassurreptitiouslywithdrawnfromthemarket。Itbeingannounced，byemissariespostedforthepurpose，thatMrandMrsMilveywerecomingdownthecourt，orphanscripwouldbeinstantlyconcealed，andproductionrefused，saveonaconditionusuallystatedbythebrokersas\'agallonofbeer\'。Likewise，fluctuationsofawildandSouth-Seanaturewereoccasioned，byorphan-holderskeepingback，andthenrushingintothemarketadozentogether。But，theuniformprincipleattherootofallthesevariousoperationswasbargainandsale；andthatprinciplecouldnotberecognizedbyMrandMrsMilvey。
Atlength，tidingswerereceivedbytheReverendFrankofacharmingorphantobefoundatBrentford。Oneofthedeceasedparents(latehisparishioners)hadapoorwidowedgrandmotherinthatagreeabletown，andshe，MrsBettyHigden，hadcarriedofftheorphanwithmaternalcare，butcouldnotaffordtokeephim。
TheSecretaryproposedtoMrsBoffin，eithertogodownhimselfandtakeapreliminarysurveyofthisorphan，ortodriveherdown，thatshemightatonceformherownopinion。MrsBoffinpreferringthelattercourse，theysetoffonemorninginahiredphaeton，conveyingthehammer-headedyoungmanbehindthem。
TheabodeofMrsBettyHigdenwasnoteasytofind，lyinginsuchcomplicatedbacksettlementsofmuddyBrentfordthattheylefttheirequipageatthesignoftheThreeMagpies，andwentinsearchofitonfoot。Aftermanyinquiriesanddefeats，therewaspointedouttotheminalane，averysmallcottageresidence，withaboardacrosstheopendoorway，hookedontowhichboardbythearmpitswasayounggentlemanoftenderyears，anglingformudwithaheadlesswoodenhorseandline。Inthisyoungsportsman，distinguishedbyacrisplycurlingauburnheadandabluffcountenance，theSecretarydescriedtheorphan。
Itunfortunatelyhappenedastheyquickenedtheirpace，thattheorphan，losttoconsiderationsofpersonalsafetyintheardourofthemoment，overbalancedhimselfandtoppledintothestreet。Beinganorphanofachubbyconformation，hethentooktorolling，andhadrolledintothegutterbeforetheycouldcomeup。FromthegutterhewasrescuedbyJohnRokesmith，andthusthefirstmeetingwithMrsHigdenwasinauguratedbytheawkwardcircumstanceoftheirbeinginpossession——onewouldsayatfirstsightunlawfulpossession——oftheorphan，upsidedownandpurpleinthecountenance。Theboardacrossthedoorwaytoo，actingasatrapequallyforthefeetofMrsHigdencomingout，andthefeetofMrsBoffinandJohnRokesmithgoingin，greatlyincreasedthedifficultyofthesituation:towhichthecriesoftheorphanimpartedalugubriousandinhumancharacter。
Atfirst，itwasimpossibletoexplain，onaccountoftheorphan\'s\'holdinghisbreath\':amostterrificproceeding，super-inducingintheorphanlead-colourrigidityandadeadlysilence，comparedwithwhichhiscriesweremusicyieldingtheheightofenjoyment。
Butashegraduallyrecovered，MrsBoffingraduallyintroducedherself；andsmilingpeacewasgraduallywooedbacktoMrsBettyHigden\'shome。
Itwasthenperceivedtobeasmallhomewithalargemangleinit，atthehandleofwhichmachinestoodaverylongboy，withaverylittlehead，andanopenmouthofdisproportionatecapacitythatseemedtoassisthiseyesinstaringatthevisitors。Inacornerbelowthemangle，onacoupleofstools，sattwoverylittlechildren:aboyandagirl；andwhentheverylongboy，inanintervalofstaring，tookaturnatthemangle，itwasalarmingtoseehowitlungeditselfatthosetwoinnocents，likeacatapultdesignedfortheirdestruction，harmlesslyretiringwhenwithinaninchoftheirheads。Theroomwascleanandneat。Ithadabrickfloor，andawindowofdiamondpanes，andaflouncehangingbelowthechimney-piece，andstringsnailedfrombottomtotopoutsidethewindowonwhichscarlet-beansweretogrowinthecomingseasoniftheFateswerepropitious。Howeverpropitioustheymighthavebeenintheseasonsthatweregone，toBettyHigdeninthematterofbeans，theyhadnotbeenveryfavourableinthematterofcoins；
foritwaseasytoseethatshewaspoor。
Shewasoneofthoseoldwomen，wasMrsBettyHigden，whobydintofanindomitablepurposeandastrongconstitutionfightoutmanyyears，thougheachyearhascomewithitsnewknock-downblowsfreshtothefightagainsther，weariedbyit；anactiveoldwoman，withabrightdarkeyeandaresoluteface，yetquiteatendercreaturetoo；notalogically-reasoningwoman，butGodisgood，andheartsmaycountinHeavenashighasheads。
\'Yessure！\'saidshe，whenthebusinesswasopened，\'MrsMilveyhadthekindnesstowritetome，ma\'am，andIgotSloppytoreadit。
Itwasaprettyletter。Butshe\'sanaffablelady。\'
Thevisitorsglancedatthelongboy，whoseemedtoindicatebyabroaderstareofhismouthandeyesthatinhimSloppystoodconfessed。
\'ForIaint，youmustknow，\'saidBetty，\'muchofahandatreadingwriting-hand，thoughIcanreadmyBibleandmostprint。AndI
doloveanewspaper。Youmightn\'tthinkit，butSloppyisabeautifulreaderofanewspaper。HedothePoliceindifferentvoices。\'
ThevisitorsagainconsidereditapointofpolitenesstolookatSloppy，who，lookingatthem，suddenlythrewbackhishead，extendedhismouthtoitsutmostwidth，andlaughedloudandlong。Atthisthetwoinnocents，withtheirbrainsinthatapparentdanger，laughed，andMrsHigdenlaughed，andtheorphanlaughed，andthenthevisitorslaughed。Whichwasmorecheerfulthanintelligible。
ThenSloppyseemingtobeseizedwithanindustriousmaniaorfury，turnedtoatthemangle，andimpelleditattheheadsoftheinnocentswithsuchacreakingandrumbling，thatMrsHigdenstoppedhim。
\'Thegentlefolkscan\'thearthemselvesspeak，Sloppy。Bideabit，bideabit！\'
\'Isthatthedearchildinyourlap?\'saidMrsBoffin。
\'Yes，ma\'am，thisisJohnny。\'
\'Johnny，too！\'criedMrsBoffin，turningtotheSecretary；\'alreadyJohnny！Onlyoneofthetwonameslefttogivehim！He\'saprettyboy。\'
Withhischintuckeddowninhisshychildishmanner，hewaslookingfurtivelyatMrsBoffinoutofhisblueeyes，andreachinghisfatdimpledhanduptothelipsoftheoldwoman，whowaskissingitbytimes。
\'Yes，ma\'am，he\'saprettyboy，he\'sadeardarlingboy，he\'sthechildofmyownlastleftdaughter\'sdaughter。Butshe\'sgonethewayofalltherest。\'
\'Thosearenothisbrotherandsister?\'saidMrsBoffin。\'Oh，dearno，ma\'am。ThoseareMinders。\'
\'Minders?\'theSecretaryrepeated。
\'LefttoheMinded，sir。IkeepaMinding-School。Icantakeonlythree，onaccountoftheMangle。ButIlovechildren，andFour-
penceaweekisFour-pence。Comehere，ToddlesandPoddles。\'
Toddleswasthepet-nameoftheboy；Poddlesofthegirl。Attheirlittleunsteadypace，theycameacrossthefloor，hand-in-hand，asiftheyweretraversinganextremelydifficultroadintersectedbybrooks，and，whentheyhadhadtheirheadspattedbyMrsBettyHigden，madelungesattheorphan，dramaticallyrepresentinganattempttobearhim，crowing，intocaptivityandslavery。Allthethreechildrenenjoyedthistoadelightfulextent，andthesympatheticSloppyagainlaughedlongandloud。Whenitwasdiscreettostoptheplay，BettyHigdensaid\'GotoyourseatsToddlesandPoddles，\'andtheyreturnedhand-in-handacrosscountry，seemingtofindthebrooksratherswollenbylaterains。
\'AndMaster——orMister——Sloppy?\'saidtheSecretary，indoubtwhetherhewasman，boy，orwhat。
\'Alove-child，\'returnedBettyHigden，droppinghervoice；\'parentsneverknown；foundinthestreet。Hewasbroughtupinthe——\'withashiverofrepugnance，\'——theHouse。\'
\'ThePoor-house?\'saidtheSecretary。
MrsHigdensetthatresoluteoldfaceofhers，anddarklynoddedyes。
\'Youdislikethementionofit。\'
\'Dislikethementionofit?\'answeredtheoldwoman。\'Killmesoonerthantakemethere。Throwthisprettychildundercart-
horsesfeetandaloadedwaggon，soonerthantakehimthere。
Cometousandfindusalla-dying，andsetalighttousallwherewelieandletusallblazeawaywiththehouseintoaheapofcinderssoonerthanmoveacorpseofusthere！\'
Asurprisingspiritinthislonelywomanaftersomanyyearsofhardworking，andhardliving，myLordsandGentlemenandHonourableBoards！Whatisitthatwecallitinourgrandiosespeeches?Britishindependence，ratherperverted?Isthat，orsomethinglikeit，theringofthecant?
\'DoIneverreadinthenewspapers，\'saidthedame，fondlingthechild——\'Godhelpmeandthelikeofme！——howtheworn-outpeoplethatdocomedowntothat，getdrivenfromposttopillarandpillartopost，a-purposetotirethemout！DoIneverreadhowtheyareputoff，putoff，putoff——howtheyaregrudged，grudged，grudged，theshelter，orthedoctor，orthedropofphysic，orthebitofbread?
DoIneverreadhowtheygrowheartsickofitandgiveitup，afterhavingletthemslevesdropsolow，andhowtheyafteralldieoutforwantofhelp?ThenIsay，IhopeIcandieaswellasanother，andI\'lldiewithoutthatdisgrace。\'
AbsolutelyimpossiblemyLordsandGentlemenandHonourableBoards，byanystretchoflegislativewisdomtosettheseperversepeoplerightintheirlogic?
\'Johnny，mypretty，\'continuedoldBetty，caressingthechild，andrathermourningoveritthanspeakingtoit，\'youroldGrannyBettyisnigherfourscoreyearthanthreescoreandten。SheneverbeggednorhadapennyoftheUnionmoneyinallherlife。Shepaidscotandshepaidlotwhenshehadmoneytopay；sheworkedwhenshecould，andshestarvedwhenshemust。YoupraythatyourGrannymayhavestrengthenoughleftheratthelast(she\'sstrongforanoldone，Johnny)，togetupfromherbedandrunandhideherselfandswowntodeathinahole，soonerthanfallintothehandsofthoseCruelJackswereadofthatdodgeanddrive，andworryandweary，andscornandshame，thedecentpoor。\'
Abrilliantsuccess，myLordsandGentlemenandHonourableBoardstohavebroughtittothisinthemindsofthebestofthepoor！Undersubmission，mightitbeworththinkingofatanyoddtime?
ThefrightandabhorrencethatMrsBettyHigdensmoothedoutofherstrongfaceassheendedthisdiversion，showedhowseriouslyshehadmeantit。
\'Anddoesheworkforyou?\'askedtheSecretary，gentlybringingthediscoursebacktoMasterorMisterSloppy。
\'Yes，\'saidBettywithagood-humouredsmileandnodofthehead。
\'Andwelltoo。\'
\'Doeshelivehere?\'
\'Helivesmoreherethananywhere。HewasthoughttobenobetterthanaNatural，andfirstcometomeasaMinder。ImadeinterestwithMrBloggtheBeadletohavehimasaMinder，seeinghimbychanceupatchurch，andthinkingImightdosomethingwithhim。Forhewasaweakrickettycreeturthen。\'
\'Ishecalledbyhisrightname?\'
\'Why，yousee，speakingquitecorrectly，hehasnorightname。I
alwaysunderstoodhetookhisnamefrombeingfoundonaSloppynight。\'
\'Heseemsanamiablefellow。\'
\'Blessyou，sir，there\'snotabitofhim，\'returnedBetty，\'that\'snotamiable。Soyoumayjudgehowamiableheis，byrunningyoureyealonghisheighth。\'
OfanungainlymakewasSloppy。Toomuchofhimlongwise，toolittleofhimbroadwise，andtoomanysharpanglesofhimangle-
wise。Oneofthoseshamblingmalehumancreatures，borntobeindiscreetlycandidintherevelationofbuttons；everybuttonhehadabouthimglaringatthepublictoaquitepreternaturalextent。A
considerablecapitalofkneeandelbowandwristandankle，hadSloppy，andhedidn\'tknowhowtodisposeofittothebestadvantage，butwasalwaysinvestingitinwrongsecurities，andsogettinghimselfintoembarrassedcircumstances。Full-PrivateNumberOneintheAwkwardSquadoftherankandfileoflife，wasSloppy，andyethadhisglimmeringnotionsofstandingtruetotheColours。
\'Andnow，\'saidMrsBoffin，\'concerningJohnny。\'
AsJohnny，withhischintuckedinandlipspouting，reclinedinBetty\'slap，concentratinghisblueeyesonthevisitorsandshadingthemfromobservationwithadimpledarm，oldBettytookoneofhisfreshfathandsinherwitheredright，andfelltogentlybeatingitonherwitheredleft。
\'Yes，ma\'am。ConcerningJohnny。\'
\'Ifyoutrustthedearchildtome，\'saidMrsBoffin，withafaceinvitingtrust，\'heshallhavethebestofhomes，thebestofcare，thebestofeducation，thebestoffriends。PleaseGodIwillbeatruegoodmothertohim！\'
\'Iamthankfultoyou，ma\'am，andthedearchildwouldbethankfulifhewasoldenoughtounderstand。\'Stilllightlybeatingthelittlehanduponherown。\'Iwouldn\'tstandinthedearchild\'slight，notifIhadallmylifebeforemeinsteadofaverylittleofit。ButI
hopeyouwon\'ttakeitillthatIcleavetothechildcloserthanwordscantell，forhe\'sthelastlivingthingleftme。\'
\'Takeitill，mydearsoul?Isitlikely?Andyousotenderofhimastobringhimhomehere！\'
\'Ihaveseen，\'saidBetty，stillwiththatlightbeatuponherhardroughhand，\'somanyofthemonmylap。Andtheyareallgonebutthisone！Iamashamedtoseemsoselfish，butIdon\'treallymeanit。It\'llbethemakingofhisfortune，andhe\'llbeagentlemanwhenIamdead。I——I——don\'tknowwhatcomesoverme。I——tryagainstit。Don\'tnoticeme！\'Thelightbeatstopped，theresolutemouthgaveway，andthefinestrongoldfacebrokeupintoweaknessandtears。
Now，greatlytothereliefofthevisitors，theemotionalSloppynosoonerbeheldhispatronessinthiscondition，than，throwingbackhisheadandthrowingopenhismouth，helifteduphisvoiceandbellowed。ThisalarmingnoteofsomethingwronginstantlyterrifiedToddlesandPoddles，whowerenosoonerheardtoroarsurprisingly，thanJohnny，curvinghimselfthewrongwayandstrikingoutatMrsBoffinwithapairofindifferentshoes，becameapreytodespair。Theabsurdityofthesituationputitspathostotherout。MrsBettyHigdenwasherselfinamoment，andbroughtthemalltoorderwiththatspeed，thatSloppy，stoppingshortinapolysyllabicbellow，transferredhisenergytothemangle，andhadtakenseveralpenitentialturnsbeforehecouldbestopped。
\'There，there，there！\'saidMrsBoffin，almostregardingherkindselfasthemostruthlessofwomen。\'Nothingisgoingtobedone。
Nobodyneedbefrightened。We\'reallcomfortable；ain\'twe，MrsHigden?\'
\'Sureandcertainweare，\'returnedBetty。
\'Andtherereallyisnohurry，youknow，\'saidMrsBoffininalowervoice。\'Taketimetothinkofit，mygoodcreature！\'
\'Don\'tyoufearMEnomore，ma\'am，\'saidBetty；\'Ithoughtofitforgoodyesterday。Idon\'tknowwhatcomeovermejustnow，butit\'llnevercomeagain。\'
\'Well，then，Johnnyshallhavemoretimetothinkofit，\'returnedMrsBoffin；\'theprettychildshallhavetimetogetusedtoit。Andyou\'llgethimmoreusedtoit，ifyouthinkwellofit；won\'tyou?\'
Bettyundertookthat，cheerfullyandreadily。
\'Lor，\'criedMrsBoffin，lookingradiantlyabouther，\'wewanttomakeeverybodyhappy，notdismal！——Andperhapsyouwouldn\'tmindlettingmeknowhowusedtoityoubegintoget，andhowitallgoeson?\'
\'I\'llsendSloppy，\'saidMrsHigden。
\'Andthisgentlemanwhohascomewithmewillpayhimforhistrouble，\'saidMrsBoffin。\'AndMrSloppy，wheneveryoucometomyhouse，besureyounevergoawaywithouthavinghadagooddinnerofmeat，beer，vegetables，andpudding。\'
Thisstillfurtherbrightenedthefaceofaffairs；for，thehighlysympatheticSloppy，firstbroadlystaringandgrinning，andthenroaringwithlaughter，ToddlesandPoddlesfollowedsuit，andJohnnytrumpedthetrick。TandPconsideringthesefavourablecircumstancesfortheresumptionofthatdramaticdescentuponJohnny，againcameacross-countryhand-in-handuponabuccaneermgexpedition；andthishavingbeenfoughtoutinthechimneycornerbehindMrsHigden\'schair，withgreatvalouronbothsides，thosedesperatepiratesreturnedhand-in-handtotheirstools，acrossthedrybedofamountaintorrent。
\'YoumusttellmewhatIcandoforyou，Bettymyfriend，\'saidMrsBoffinconfidentially，\'ifnotto-day，nexttime。\'
\'Thankyouallthesame，ma\'am，butIwantnothingformyself。I
canwork。I\'mstrong。IcanwalktwentymileifI\'mputtoit。\'OldBettywasproud，andsaiditwithasparkleinherbrighteyes。
\'Yes，buttherearesomelittlecomfortsthatyouwouldn\'tbetheworsefor，\'returnedMrsBoffin。\'Blessye，Iwasn\'tbornaladyanymorethanyou。\'
\'Itseemstome，\'saidBetty，smiling，\'thatyouwerebornalady，andatrueone，orthereneverwasaladyborn。ButIcouldn\'ttakeanythingfromyou，mydear。Ineverdidtakeanythingfromanyone。Itain\'tthatI\'mnotgrateful，butIlovetoearnitbetter。\'
\'Well，well！\'returnedMrsBoffin。\'Ionlyspokeoflittlethings，orI
wouldn\'thavetakentheliberty。\'
Bettyputhervisitor\'shandtoherlips，inacknowledgmentofthedelicateanswer。Wonderfullyuprightherfigurewas，andwonderfullyself-reliantherlook，as，standingfacinghervisitor，sheexplainedherselffurther。
\'IfIcouldhavekeptthedearchild，withoutthedreadthat\'salwaysuponmeofhiscomingtothatfateIhavespokenof，Icouldneverhavepartedwithhim，eventoyou。ForIlovehim，Ilovehim，I
lovehim！Ilovemyhusbandlongdeadandgone，inhim；Ilovemychildrendeadandgone，inhim；Ilovemyyoungandhopefuldaysdeadandgone，inhim。Icouldn\'tsellthatlove，andlookyouinyourbrightkindface。It\'safreegift。Iaminwantofnothing。
Whenmystrengthfailsme，ifIcanbutdieoutquickandquiet，I
shallbequitecontent。IhavestoodbetweenmydeadandthatshameIhavespokenof；andithasbeenkeptofffromeveryoneofthem。Sewedintomygown，\'withherhanduponherbreast，\'isjustenoughtolaymeinthegrave。Onlyseethatit\'srightlyspent，soasImayrestfreetothelastfromthatcrueltyanddisgrace，andyou\'llhavedonemuchmorethanalittlethingforme，andallthatinthispresentworldmyheartissetupon。\'
MrsBettyHigden\'svisitorpressedherhand。Therewasnomorebreakingupofthestrongoldfaceintoweakness。MyLordsandGentlemenandHonourableBoards，itreallywasascomposedasourownfaces，andalmostasdignified。
Andnow，JohnnywastobeinveigledintooccupyingatemporarypositiononMrsBoffin\'slap。ItwasnotuntilhehadbeenpiquedintocompetitionwiththetwodiminutiveMinders，byseeingthemsuccessivelyraisedtothatpostandretirefromitwithoutinjury，thathecouldbebyanymeansinducedtoleaveMrsBettyHigden\'sskirts；towardswhichheexhibited，evenwheninMrsBoffin\'sembrace，strongyearnings，spiritualandbodily；theformerexpressedinaverygloomyvisage，thelatterinextendedarms。
However，ageneraldescriptionofthetoy-wonderslurkinginMrBoffin\'shouse，sofarconciliatedthisworldly-mindedorphanastoinducehimtostareatherfrowningly，withafistinhismouth，andevenatlengthtochucklewhenarichly-caparisonedhorseonwheels，withamiraculousgiftofcanteringtocake-shops，wasmentioned。ThissoundbeingtakenupbytheMinders，swelledintoarapturoustriowhichgavegeneralsatisfaction。
So，theinterviewwasconsideredverysuccessful，andMrsBoffinwaspleased，andallweresatisfied。Notleastofall，Sloppy，whoundertooktoconductthevisitorsbackbythebestwaytotheThreeMagpies，andwhomthehammer-headedyoungmanmuchdespised。
Thispieceofbusinessthusputintrain，theSecretarydroveMrsBoffinbacktotheBower，andfoundemploymentforhimselfatthenewhouseuntilevening。Whether，wheneveningcame，hetookawaytohislodgingsthatledthroughfields，withanydesignoffindingMissBellaWilferinthosefields，isnotsocertainasthatsheregularlywalkedthereatthathour。
And，moreover，itiscertainthatthereshewas。
Nolongerinmourning，MissBellawasdressedinasprettycoloursasshecouldmuster。Thereisnodenyingthatshewasasprettyasthey，andthatsheandthecolourswentveryprettilytogether。Shewasreadingasshewalked，andofcourseitistobeinferred，fromhershowingnoknowledgeofMrRokesmith\'sapproach，thatshedidnotknowhewasapproaching。
\'Eh?\'saidMissBella，raisinghereyesfromherbook，whenhestoppedbeforeher。\'Oh！It\'syou。\'
\'OnlyI。Afineevening！\'
\'Isit?\'saidBella，lookingcoldlyround。\'Isupposeitis，nowyoumentionit。Ihavenotbeenthinkingoftheevening。\'
\'Sointentuponyourbook?\'
\'Ye-e-es，\'repliedBella，withadrawlofindifference。
\'Alovestory，MissWilfer?\'
\'Ohdearno，orIshouldn\'tbereadingit。It\'smoreaboutmoneythananythingelse。\'
\'Anddoesitsaythatmoneyisbetterthananything?\'
\'Uponmyword，\'returnedBella，\'Iforgetwhatitsays，butyoucanfindoutforyourselfifyoulike，MrRokesmith。Idon\'twantitanymore。\'
TheSecretarytookthebook——shehadflutteredtheleavesasifitwereafan——andwalkedbesideher。
\'Iamchargedwithamessageforyou，MissWilfer。\'
\'Impossible，Ithink！\'saidBella，withanotherdrawl。
\'FromMrsBoffin。Shedesiredmetoassureyouofthepleasureshehasinfindingthatshewillbereadytoreceiveyouinanotherweekortwoatfurthest。\'
Bellaturnedherheadtowardshim，withherprettily-insolenteyebrowsraised，andhereyelidsdrooping。Asmuchastosay，\'HowdidYOUcomebythemessage，pray?\'
\'IhavebeenwaitingforanopportunityoftellingyouthatIamMrBoffin\'sSecretary。\'
\'Iamaswiseasever，\'saidMissBella，loftily，\'forIdon\'tknowwhataSecretaryis。Notthatitsignifies。\'
\'Notatall。\'
Acovertglanceatherface，ashewalkedbesideher，showedhimthatshehadnotexpectedhisreadyassenttothatproposition。
\'Thenareyougoingtobealwaysthere，MrRokesmith?\'sheinquired，asifthatwouldbeadrawback。
\'Always?No。Verymuchthere?Yes。\'
\'Dearme！\'drawledBella，inatoneofmortification。
\'ButmypositionthereasSecretary，willbeverydifferentfromyoursasguest。Youwillknowlittleornothingaboutme。Ishalltransactthebusiness:youwilltransactthepleasure。Ishallhavemysalarytoearn；youwillhavenothingtodobuttoenjoyandattract。\'
\'Attract，sir?\'saidBella，againwithhereyebrowsraised，andhereyelidsdrooping。\'Idon\'tunderstandyou。\'
Withoutreplyingonthispoint，MrRokesmithwenton。
\'Excuseme；whenIfirstsawyouinyourblackdress——\'
(\'There！\'wasMissBella\'smentalexclamation。\'WhatdidIsaytothemathome?Everybodynoticedthatridiculousmourning。\')
\'WhenIfirstsawyouinyourblackdress，Iwasatalosstoaccountforthatdistinctionbetweenyourselfandyourfamily。Ihopeitwasnotimpertinenttospeculateuponit?\'
\'Ihopenot，Iamsure，\'saidMissBella，haughtily。\'Butyououghttoknowbesthowyouspeculateduponit。\'
MrRokesmithinclinedhisheadinadeprecatorymanner，andwenton。
\'SinceIhavebeenentrustedwithMrBoffin\'saffairs，Ihavenecessarilycometounderstandthelittlemystery。IventuretoremarkthatIfeelpersuadedthatmuchofyourlossmayberepaired。Ispeak，ofcourse，merelyofwealth，MissWilfer。Thelossofaperfectstranger，whoseworth，orworthlessness，Icannotestimate——noryoueither——isbesidethequestion。Butthisexcellentgentlemanandladyaresofullofsimplicity，sofullofgenerosity，soinclinedtowardsyou，andsodesirousto——howshallIexpressit?——tomakeamendsfortheirgoodfortune，thatyouhaveonlytorespond。\'
Ashewatchedherwithanothercovertlook，hesawacertainambitioustriumphinherfacewhichnoassumedcoldnesscouldconceal。
\'Aswehavebeenbroughtunderoneroofbyanaccidentalcombinationofcircumstances，whichoddlyextendsitselftothenewrelationsbeforeus，Ihavetakenthelibertyofsayingthesefewwords。Youdon\'tconsiderthemintrusiveIhope?\'saidtheSecretarywithdeference。
\'Really，MrRokesmith，Ican\'tsaywhatIconsiderthem，\'returnedtheyounglady。\'Theyareperfectlynewtome，andmaybefoundedaltogetheronyourownimagination。\'
\'Youwillsee。\'
ThesesamefieldswereoppositetheWilferpremises。ThediscreetMrsWilfernowlookingoutofwindowandbeholdingherdaughterinconferencewithherlodger，instantlytiedupherheadandcameoutforacasualwalk。
\'IhavebeentellingMissWilfer，\'saidJohnRokesmith，asthemajesticladycamestalkingup，\'thatIhavebecome，byacuriouschance，MrBoffin\'sSecretaryormanofbusiness。\'
\'Ihavenot，\'returnedMrsWilfer，wavingherglovesinherchronicstateofdignity，andvagueill-usage，\'thehonourofanyintimateacquaintancewithMrBoffin，anditisnotformetocongratulatethatgentlemanontheacquisitionhehasmade。\'
\'Apooroneenough，\'saidRokesmith。
\'Pardonme，\'returnedMrsWilfer，\'themeritsofMrBoffinmaybehighlydistinguished——maybemoredistinguishedthanthecountenanceofMrsBoffinwouldimply——butitweretheinsanityofhumilitytodeemhimworthyofabetterassistant。\'
\'Youareverygood。IhavealsobeentellingMissWilferthatsheisexpectedveryshortlyatthenewresidenceintown。\'
\'Havingtacitlyconsented，\'saidMrsWilfer，withagrandshrugofhershoulders，andanotherwaveofhergloves，\'tomychild\'sacceptanceoftheprofferedattentionsofMrsBoffin，Iinterposenoobjection。\'
HereMissBellaofferedtheremonstrance:\'Don\'ttalknonsense，ma，please。\'
\'Peace！\'saidMrsWilfer。
\'No，ma，Iamnotgoingtobemadesoabsurd。Interposingobjections！\'
\'Isay，\'repeatedMrsWilfer，withavastaccessofgrandeur，\'thatI
amNOTgoingtointerposeobjections。IfMrsBoffin(towhosecountenancenodiscipleofLavatercouldpossiblyforasinglemomentsubscribe)，\'withashiver，\'seekstoilluminatehernewresidenceintownwiththeattractionsofachildofmine，Iamcontentthatsheshouldbefavouredbythecompanyofachildofmine。\'
\'Youusetheword，ma\'am，Ihavemyselfused，\'saidRokesmith，withaglanceatBella，\'whenyouspeakofMissWilfer\'sattractionsthere。\'
\'Pardonme，\'returnedMrsWilfer，withdreadfulsolemnity，\'butI
hadnotfinished。\'
\'Prayexcuseme。\'
\'Iwasabouttosay，\'pursuedMrsWilfer，whoclearlyhadnothadthefaintestideaofsayinganythingmore:\'thatwhenIusethetermattractions，IdosowiththequalificationthatIdonotmeanitinanywaywhatever。\'
Theexcellentladydeliveredthisluminouselucidationofherviewswithanairofgreatlyobligingherhearers，andgreatlydistinguishingherself。WhereatMissBellalaughedascornfullittlelaughandsaid:
\'Quiteenoughaboutthis，Iamsure，onallsides。Havethegoodness，MrRokesmith，togivemylovetoMrsBoffin——\'
\'Pardonme！\'criedMrsWilfer。\'Compliments。\'
\'Love！\'repeatedBella，withalittlestampofherfoot。
\'No！\'saidMrsWilfer，monotonously。\'Compliments。\'
(\'SayMissWilfer\'slove，andMrsWilfer\'scompliments，\'theSecretaryproposed，asacompromise。)
\'AndIshallbeverygladtocomewhensheisreadyforme。Thesooner，thebetter。\'
\'Onelastword，Bella，\'saidMrsWilfer，\'beforedescendingtothefamilyapartment。Itrustthatasachildofmineyouwilleverbesensiblethatitwillbegracefulinyou，whenassociatingwithMrandMrsBoffinuponequalterms，torememberthattheSecretary，MrRokesmith，asyourfather\'slodger，hasaclaimonyourgoodword。\'
ThecondescensionwithwhichMrsWilferdeliveredthisproclamationofpatronage，wasaswonderfulastheswiftnesswithwhichthelodgerhadlostcasteintheSecretary。Hesmiledasthemotherretireddownstairs；buthisfacefell，asthedaughterfollowed。
\'Soinsolent，sotrivial，socapricious，somercenary，socareless，sohardtotouch，sohardtoturn！\'hesaid，bitterly。
Andaddedashewentupstairs。\'Andyetsopretty，sopretty！\'
Andaddedpresently，ashewalkedtoandfroinhisroom。\'Andifsheknew！\'
Sheknewthathewasshakingthehousebyhiswalkingtoandfro；
andshedeclareditanotherofthemiseriesofbeingpoor，thatyoucouldn\'tgetridofahauntingSecretary，stump——stump——stumpingoverheadinthedark，likeaGhost。
Chapter17
ADISMALSWAMP
Andnow，inthebloomingsummerdays，beholdMrandMrsBoffinestablishedintheeminentlyaristocraticfamilymansion，andbeholdallmannerofcrawling，creeping，fluttering，andbuzzingcreatures，attractedbythegolddustoftheGoldenDustman！
Foremostamongthoseleavingcardsattheeminentlyaristocraticdoorbeforeitisquitepainted，aretheVeneerings:outofbreath，onemightimagine，fromtheimpetuosityoftheirrushtotheeminentlyaristocraticsteps。Onecopper-plateMrsVeneering，twocopper-plateMrVeneerings，andaconnubialcopper-plateMrandMrsVeneering，requestingthehonourofMrandMrsBoffin\'scompanyatdinnerwiththeutmostAnalyticalsolemnities。TheenchantingLadyTippinsleavesacard。Twemlowleavescards。A
tallcustard-colouredphaetontoolingupinasolemnmannerleavesfourcards，towit，acoupleofMrPodsnaps，aMrsPodsnap，andaMissPodsnap。Alltheworldandhiswifeanddaughterleavecards。Sometimestheworld\'swifehassomanydaughters，thathercardreadsratherlikeaMiscellaneousLotatanAuction；
comprisingMrsTapkins，MissTapkins，MissFredericaTapkins，MissAntoninaTapkins，MissMalvinaTapkins，andMissEuphemiaTapkins；atthesametime，thesameladyleavesthecardofMrsHenryGeorgeAlfredSwoshle，NEETapkins；also，acard，MrsTapkinsatHome，Wednesdays，Music，PortlandPlace。
MissBellaWilferbecomesaninmate，foranindefiniteperiod，oftheeminentlyaristocraticdwelling。MrsBoffinbearsMissBellaawaytoherMilliner\'sandDressmaker\'s，andshegetsbeautifullydressed。TheVeneeringsfindwithswiftremorsethattheyhaveomittedtoinviteMissBellaWilfer。OneMrsVeneeringandoneMrandMrsVeneeringrequestingthatadditionalhonour，instantlydopenanceinwhitecardboardonthehalltable。MrsTapkinslikewisediscoversheromission，andwithpromptituderepairsit；
forherself；forMissTapkins，forMissFredericaTapkins，forMissAntoninaTapkins，forMissMalvinaTapkins，andforMissEuphemiaTapkins。Likewise，forMrsHenryGeorgeAlfredSwoshleNEETapkins。Likewise，forMrsTapkinsatHome，Wednesdays，Music，PortlandPlace。
Tradesmen\'sbookshunger，andtradesmen\'smouthswater，forthegolddustoftheGoldenDustman。AsMrsBoffinandMissWilferdriveout，orasMrBoffinwalksoutathisjog-trotpace，thefishmongerpullsoffhishatwithanairofreverencefoundedonconviction。HismencleansetheirfingersontheirwoollenapronsbeforepresumingtotouchtheirforeheadstoMrBoffinorLady。
Thegapingsalmonandthegoldenmulletlyingontheslabseemtoturnuptheireyessideways，astheywouldturnuptheirhandsiftheyhadany，inworshippingadmiration。Thebutcher，thoughaportlyandaprosperousman，doesn\'tknowwhattodowithhimself；soanxiousishetoexpresshumilitywhendiscoveredbythepassingBoffinstakingtheairinamuttongrove。PresentsaremadetotheBoffinservants，andblandstrangerswithbusiness-
cardsmeetingsaidservantsinthestreet，offerhypotheticalcorruption。As，\'SupposingIwastobefavouredwithanorderfromMrBoffin，mydearfriend，itwouldbeworthmywhile\'——todoacertainthingthatIhopemightnotprovewhollydisagreeabletoyourfeelings。
ButnooneknowssowellastheSecretary，whoopensandreadstheletters，whatasetismadeatthemanmarkedbyastrokeofnotoriety。Ohthevarietiesofdustforocularuse，offeredinexchangeforthegolddustoftheGoldenDustman！Fifty-sevenchurchestobeerectedwithhalf-crowns，forty-twoparsonagehousestoberepairedwithshillings，seven-and-twentyorganstobebuiltwithhalfpence，twelvehundredchildrentobebroughtuponpostagestamps。Notthatahalf-crown，shilling，halfpenny，orpostagestamp，wouldbeparticularlyacceptablefromMrBoffin，butthatitissoobviousheisthemantomakeupthedeficiency。
Andthenthecharities，myChristianbrother！Andmostlyindifficulties，yetmostlylavish，too，intheexpensivearticlesofprintandpaper。Largefatprivatedoubleletter，sealedwithducalcoronet。\'NicodemusBoffin，Esquire。MyDearSir，——HavingconsentedtopresideattheforthcomingAnnualDinneroftheFamilyPartyFund，andfeelingdeeplyimpressedwiththeimmenseusefulnessofthatnobleInstitutionandthegreatimportanceofitsbeingsupportedbyaListofStewardsthatshallprovetothepublictheinteresttakeninitbypopularanddistinguishedmen，IhaveundertakentoaskyoutobecomeaStewardonthatoccasion。Solicitingyourfavourablereplybeforethe14thinstant，Iam，MyDearSir，YourfaithfulServant，LINSEED。P。S。TheSteward\'sfeeislimitedtothreeGuineas。\'
Friendlythis，onthepartoftheDukeofLinseed(andthoughtfulinthepostscript)，onlylithographedbythehundredandpresentingbutapaleindividualityofanaddresstoNicodemusBoffin，Esquire，inquiteanotherhand。IttakestwonobleEarlsandaViscount，combined，toinformNicodemusBoffin，Esquire，inanequallyflatteringmanner，thatanestimableladyintheWestofEnglandhasofferedtopresentapursecontainingtwentypounds，totheSocietyforGrantingAnnuitiestoUnassumingMembersoftheMiddleClasses，iftwentyindividualswillpreviouslypresentpursesofonehundredpoundseach。AndthosebenevolentnoblemenverykindlypointoutthatifNicodemusBoffin，Esquire，shouldwishtopresenttwoormorepurses，itwillnotbeinconsistentwiththedesignoftheestimableladyintheWestofEngland，providedeachpursebecoupledwiththenameofsomememberofhishonouredandrespectedfamily。
Thesearethecorporatebeggars。Butthereare，besides，theindividualbeggars；andhowdoestheheartoftheSecretaryfailhimwhenhehastocopewithTHEM！Andtheymustbecopedwithtosomeextent，becausetheyallenclosedocuments(theycalltheirscrapsdocuments；buttheyare，astopapersdeservingthename，whatmincedvealistoacalf)，thenon-returnofwhichwouldbetheirruin。Thatissay，theyareutterlyruinednow，buttheywouldbemoreutterlyruinedthen。Amongthesecorrespondentsareseveraldaughtersofgeneralofficers，longaccustomedtoeveryluxuryoflife(exceptspelling)，wholittlethought，whentheirgallantfatherswagedwarinthePeninsula，thattheywouldeverhavetoappealtothosewhomProvidence，initsinscrutablewisdom，hasblessedwithuntoldgold，andfromamongwhomtheyselectthenameofNicodemusBoffin，Esquire，foramaideneffortinthiswise，understandingthathehassuchaheartasneverwas。TheSecretarylearns，too，thatconfidencebetweenmanandwifewouldseemtoobtainbutrarelywhenvirtueisindistress，sonumerousarethewiveswhotakeuptheirpenstoaskMrBoffinformoneywithouttheknowledgeoftheirdevotedhusbands，whowouldneverpermitit；while，ontheotherhand，sonumerousarethehusbandswhotakeuptheirpenstoaskMrBoffinformoneywithouttheknowledgeoftheirdevotedwives，whowouldinstantlygooutoftheirsensesiftheyhadtheleastsuspicionofthecircumstance。Therearetheinspiredbeggars，too。
Theseweresitting，onlyyesterdayevening，musingoverafragmentofcandlewhichmustsoongooutandleavetheminthedarkfortherestoftheirnights，whensurelysomeAngelwhisperedthenameofNicodemusBoffin，Esquire，totheirsouls，impartingraysofhope，nayconfidence，towhichtheyhadlongbeenstrangers！
Akintothesearethesuggestively-befriendedbeggars。Theywerepartakingofacoldpotatoandwaterbytheflickeringandgloomylightofalucifer-match，intheirlodgings(rentconsiderablyinarrear，andheartlesslandladythreateningexpulsion\'likeadog\'
intothestreets)，whenagiftedfriendhappeningtolookin，said，\'WriteimmediatelytoNicodemusBoffin，Esquire，\'andwouldtakenodenial。Therearethenoblyindependentbeggarstoo。These，inthedaysoftheirabundance，everregardedgoldasdross，andhavenotyetgotoverthatonlyimpedimentinthewayoftheiramassingwealth，buttheywantnodrossfromNicodemusBoffin，Esquire；
No，MrBoffin；theworldmaytermitpride，paltryprideifyouwill，buttheywouldn\'ttakeitifyouofferedit；aloan，sir——forfourteenweekstotheday，interestcalculatedattherateoffivepercentperannum，tobebestoweduponanycharitableinstitutionyoumayname——isalltheywantofyou，andifyouhavethemeannesstorefuseit，countonbeingdespisedbythesegreatspirits。Therearethebeggarsofpunctualbusiness-habitstoo。ThesewillmakeanendofthemselvesataquartertooneP。M。onTuesday，ifnoPost-
officeorderisintheinterimreceivedfromNicodemusBoffin，Esquire；arrivingafteraquartertooneP。M。onTuesday，itneednotbesent，astheywillthen(havingmadeanexactmemorandumoftheheartlesscircumstances)be\'coldindeath。\'Therearethebeggarsonhorsebacktoo，inanothersensefromthesenseoftheproverb。Thesearemountedandreadytostartonthehighwaytoaffluence。Thegoalisbeforethem，theroadisinthebestcondition，theirspursareon，thesteediswilling，but，atthelastmoment，forwantofsomespecialthing——aclock，aviolin，anastronomicaltelescope，anelectrifyingmachine——theymustdismountforever，unlesstheyreceiveitsequivalentinmoneyfromNicodemusBoffin，Esquire。Lessgiventodetailarethebeggarswhomakesportingventures。These，usuallytobeaddressedinreplyunderinitialsatacountrypost-office，inquireinfemininehands，DareonewhocannotdiscloseherselftoNicodemusBoffin，Esquire，butwhosenamemightstartlehimwereitrevealed，solicittheimmediateadvanceoftwohundredpoundsfromunexpectedrichesexercisingtheirnoblestprivilegeinthetrustofacommonhumanity?
InsuchaDismalSwampdoesthenewhousestand，andthroughitdoestheSecretarydailystrugglebreast-high。Nottomentionallthepeoplealivewhohavemadeinventionsthatwon\'tact，andallthejobberswhojobinallthejobberiesjobbed；thoughthesemayberegardedastheAlligatorsoftheDismalSwamp，andarealwayslyingbytodragtheGoldenDustmanunder。
Buttheoldhouse。TherearenodesignsagainsttheGoldenDustmanthere?TherearenofishofthesharktribeintheBowerwaters?Perhapsnot。Still，Weggisestablishedthere，andwouldseem，judgedbyhissecretproceedings，tocherishanotionofmakingadiscovery。For，whenamanwithawoodenlegliesproneonhisstomachtopeepunderbedsteads；andhopsupladders，likesomeextinctbird，tosurveythetopsofpressesandcupboards；andprovideshimselfanironrodwhichheisalwayspokingandproddingintodust-mounds；theprobabilityisthatheexpectstofindsomething。
BOOKTHESECONDBIRDSOFAFEATHER
Chapter1
OFANEDUCATIONALCHARACTER
TheschoolatwhichyoungCharleyHexamhadfirstlearnedfromabook——thestreetsbeing，forpupilsofhisdegree，thegreatPreparatoryEstablishmentinwhichverymuchthatisneverunlearnedislearnedwithoutandbeforebook——wasamiserableloftinanunsavouryyard。Itsatmospherewasoppressiveanddisagreeable；itwascrowded，noisy，andconfusing；halfthepupilsdroppedasleep，orfellintoastateofwakingstupefaction；theotherhalfkeptthemineitherconditionbymaintainingamonotonousdroningnoise，asiftheywereperforming，outoftimeandtune，onarudersortofbagpipe。Theteachers，animatedsolelybygoodintentions，hadnoideaofexecution，andalamentablejumblewastheupshotoftheirkindendeavours。
Itwasaschoolforallages，andforbothsexes。Thelatterwerekeptapart，andtheformerwerepartitionedoffintosquareassortments。But，alltheplacewaspervadedbyagrimlyludicrouspretencethateverypupilwaschildishandinnocent。
Thispretence，muchfavouredbythelady-visitors，ledtotheghastliestabsurdities。Youngwomenoldinthevicesofthecommonestandworstlife，wereexpectedtoprofessthemselvesenthralledbythegoodchild\'sbook，theAdventuresofLittleMargery，whoresidedinthevillagecottagebythemill；severelyreprovedandmorallysquashedthemiller，whenshewasfiveandhewasfifty；dividedherporridgewithsingingbirds；deniedherselfanewnankeenbonnet，onthegroundthattheturnipsdidnotwearnankeenbonnets，neitherdidthesheepwhoatethem；
whoplaitedstrawanddeliveredthedreariestorationstoallcomers，atallsortsofunseasonabletimes。So，unwieldyyoungdredgersandhulkingmudlarkswerereferredtotheexperiencesofThomasTwopence，who，havingresolvednottorob(undercircumstancesofuncommonatrocity)hisparticularfriendandbenefactor，ofeighteenpence，presentlycameintosupernaturalpossessionofthreeandsixpence，andlivedashininglighteverafterwards。(Note，thatthebenefactorcametonogood。)Severalswaggeringsinnershadwrittentheirownbiographiesinthesamestrain；italwaysappearingfromthelessonsofthoseveryboastfulpersons，thatyouweretodogood，notbecauseitWASgood，butbecauseyouweretomakeagoodthingofit。Contrariwise，theadultpupilsweretaughttoread(iftheycouldlearn)outoftheNewTestament；andbydintofstumblingoverthesyllablesandkeepingtheirbewilderedeyesontheparticularsyllablescomingroundtotheirturn，wereasabsolutelyignorantofthesublimehistory，asiftheyhadneverseenorheardofit。Anexceedinglyandconfoundinglyperplexingjumbleofaschool，infact，whereblackspiritsandgrey，redspiritsandwhite，jumbledjumbledjumbledjumbled，jumbledeverynight。AndparticularlyeverySundaynight。Forthen，aninclinedplaneofunfortunateinfantswouldbehandedovertotheprosiestandworstofalltheteacherswithgoodintentions，whomnobodyolderwouldendure。Who，takinghisstandonthefloorbeforethemaschiefexecutioner，wouldbeattendedbyaconventionalvolunteerboyasexecutioner\'sassistant。Whenandwhereitfirstbecametheconventionalsystemthatawearyorinattentiveinfantinaclassmusthaveitsfacesmootheddownwardwithahothand，orwhenandwheretheconventionalvolunteerboyfirstbeheldsuchsysteminoperation，andbecameinflamedwithasacredzealtoadministerit，mattersnot。Itwasthefunctionofthechiefexecutionertoholdforth，anditwasthefunctionoftheacolytetodartatsleepinginfants，yawninginfants，restlessinfants，whimperinginfants，andsmooththeirwretchedfaces；sometimeswithonehand，asifhewereanointingthemforawhisker；
sometimeswithbothhands，appliedafterthefashionofblinkers。
Andsothejumblewouldbeinactioninthisdepartmentforamortalhour；theexponentdrawlingontoMyDearertChilderrenerr，letussay，forexample，aboutthebeautifulcomingtotheSepulchre；andrepeatingthewordSepulchre(commonlyusedamonginfants)fivehundredtimes，andneveroncehintingwhatitmeant；theconventionalboysmoothingawayrightandleft，asaninfalliblecommentary；thewholehot-bedofflushedandexhaustedinfantsexchangingmeasles，rashes，whooping-cough，fever，andstomachdisorders，asiftheywereassembledinHighMarketforthepurpose。
Eveninthistempleofgoodintentions，anexceptionallysharpboyexceptionallydeterminedtolearn，couldlearnsomething，and，havinglearnedit，couldimpartitmuchbetterthantheteachers；asbeingmoreknowingthanthey，andnotatthedisadvantageinwhichtheystoodtowardstheshrewderpupils。InthiswayithadcomeaboutthatCharleyHexamhadriseninthejumble，taughtinthejumble，andbeenreceivedfromthejumbleintoabetterschool。
\'Soyouwanttogoandseeyoursister，Hexam?\'
\'Ifyouplease，MrHeadstone。\'
\'Ihavehalfamindtogowithyou。Wheredoesyoursisterlive?\'
\'Why，sheisnotsettledyet，MrHeadstone。I\'dratheryoudidn\'tseehertillsheissettled，ifitwasallthesametoyou。\'
\'Lookhere，Hexam。\'MrBradleyHeadstone，highlycertificatedstipendiaryschoolmaster，drewhisrightforefingerthroughoneofthebuttonholesoftheboy\'scoat，andlookedatitattentively。\'I
hopeyoursistermaybegoodcompanyforyou?\'
\'Whydoyoudoubtit，MrHeadstone?\'
\'IdidnotsayIdoubtedit。\'
\'No，sir；youdidn\'tsayso。\'
BradleyHeadstonelookedathisfingeragain，tookitoutofthebuttonholeandlookedatitcloser，bitthesideofitandlookedatitagain。
\'Yousee，Hexam，youwillbeoneofus。Ingoodtimeyouaresuretopassacreditableexaminationandbecomeoneofus。Thenthequestionis——\'
Theboywaitedsolongforthequestion，whiletheschoolmasterlookedatanewsideofhisfinger，andbitit，andlookedatitagain，thatatlengththeboyrepeated:
\'Thequestionis，sir——?\'
\'Whetheryouhadnotbetterleavewellalone。\'
\'Isitwelltoleavemysisteralone，MrHeadstone?\'
\'Idonotsayso，becauseIdonotknow。Iputittoyou。Iaskyoutothinkofit。Iwantyoutoconsider。Youknowhowwellyouaredoinghere。\'
\'Afterall，shegotmehere，\'saidtheboy，withastruggle。
\'Perceivingthenecessityofit，\'acquiescedtheschoolmaster，\'andmakinguphermindfullytotheseparation。Yes。\'
Theboy，withareturnofthatformerreluctanceorstruggleorwhateveritwas，seemedtodebatewithhimself。Atlengthhesaid，raisinghiseyestothemaster\'sface:
\'Iwishyou\'dcomewithmeandseeher，MrHeadstone，thoughsheisnotsettled。Iwishyou\'dcomewithme，andtakeherintherough，andjudgeherforyourself。\'
\'Youaresureyouwouldnotlike，\'askedtheschoolmaster，\'toprepareher?\'
\'MysisterLizzie，\'saidtheboy，proudly，\'wantsnopreparing，MrHeadstone。Whatsheis，sheis，andshowsherselftobe。There\'snopretendingaboutmysister。\'
Hisconfidenceinher，satmoreeasilyuponhimthantheindecisionwithwhichhehadtwicecontended。Itwashisbetternaturetobetruetoher，ifitwerehisworsenaturetobewhollyselfish。Andasyetthebetternaturehadthestrongerhold。
\'Well，Icansparetheevening，\'saidtheschoolmaster。\'Iamreadytowalkwithyou。\'
\'Thankyou，MrHeadstone。AndIamreadytogo。\'
BradleyHeadstone，inhisdecentblackcoatandwaistcoat，anddecentwhiteshirt，anddecentformalblacktie，anddecentpantaloonsofpepperandsalt，withhisdecentsilverwatchinhispocketanditsdecenthair-guardroundhisneck，lookedathoroughlydecentyoungmanofsix-and-twenty。Hewasneverseeninanyotherdress，andyettherewasacertainstiffnessinhismannerofwearingthis，asiftherewereawantofadaptationbetweenhimandit，recallingsomemechanicsintheirholidayclothes。Hehadacquiredmechanicallyagreatstoreofteacher\'sknowledge。Hecoulddomentalarithmeticmechanically，singatsightmechanically，blowvariouswindinstrumentsmechanically，evenplaythegreatchurchorganmechanically。Fromhisearlychildhoodup，hismindhadbeenaplaceofmechanicalstowage。
Thearrangementofhiswholesalewarehouse，sothatitmightbealwaysreadytomeetthedemandsofretaildealershistoryhere，geographythere，astronomytotheright，politicaleconomytotheleft——naturalhistory，thephysicalsciences，figures，music，thelowermathematics，andwhatnot，allintheirseveralplaces——thiscarehadimpartedtohiscountenancealookofcare；whilethehabitofquestioningandbeingquestionedhadgivenhimasuspiciousmanner，oramannerthatwouldbebetterdescribedasoneoflyinginwait。Therewasakindofsettledtroubleintheface。Itwasthefacebelongingtoanaturallysloworinattentiveintellectthathadtoiledhardtogetwhatithadwon，andthathadtoholditnowthatitwasgotten。Healwaysseemedtobeuneasylestanythingshouldbemissingfromhismentalwarehouse，andtakingstocktoassurehimself。
Suppressionofsomuchtomakeroomforsomuch，hadgivenhimaconstrainedmanner，overandabove。Yettherewasenoughofwhatwasanimal，andofwhatwasfiery(thoughsmouldering)，stillvisibleinhim，tosuggestthatifyoungBradleyHeadstone，whenapauperlad，hadchancedtobetoldoffforthesea，hewouldnothavebeenthelastmaninaship\'screw。Regardingthatoriginofhis，hewasproud，moody，andsullen，desiringittobeforgotten。
Andfewpeopleknewofit。
InsomevisitstotheJumblehisattentionhadbeenattractedtothisboyHexam。Anundeniableboyforapupil-teacher；anundeniableboytodocredittothemasterwhoshouldbringhimon。Combinedwiththisconsideration，theremayhavebeensomethoughtofthepauperladnownevertobementioned。Bethathowitmight，hehadwithpainsgraduallyworkedtheboyintohisownschool，andprocuredhimsomeofficestodischargethere，whichwererepaidwithfoodandlodging。Suchwerethecircumstancesthathadbroughttogether，BradleyHeadstoneandyoungCharleyHexamthatautumnevening。Autumn，becausefullhalfayearhadcomeandgonesincethebirdofpreylaydeadupontheriver-shore。
Theschools——fortheyweretwofold，asthesexes——weredowninthatdistrictoftheflatcountrytendingtotheThames，whereKentandSurreymeet，andwheretherailwaysstillbestridethemarket-
gardensthatwillsoondieunderthem。Theschoolswerenewlybuilt，andthereweresomanylikethemalloverthecountry，thatonemighthavethoughtthewholewerebutonerestlessedificewiththelocomotivegiftofAladdin\'spalace。Theywereinaneighbourhoodwhichlookedlikeatoyneighbourhoodtakeninblocksoutofaboxbyachildofparticularlyincoherentmind，andsetupanyhow；here，onesideofanewstreet；there，alargesolitarypublic-housefacingnowhere；here，anotherunfinishedstreetalreadyinruins；there，achurch；here，animmensenewwarehouse；there，adilapidatedoldcountryvilla；then，amedleyofblackditch，sparklingcucumber-frame，rankfield，richlycultivatedkitchen-garden，brickviaduct，arch-spannedcanal，anddisorderoffrowzinessandfog。Asifthechildhadgiventhetableakick，andgonetosleep。
But，evenamongschool-buildings，school-teachers，andschool-
pupils，allaccordingtopatternandallengenderedinthelightofthelatestGospelaccordingtoMonotony，theolderpatternintowhichsomanyfortuneshavebeenshapedforgoodandevil，comesout。ItcameoutinMissPeechertheschoolmistress，wateringherflowers，asMrBradleyHeadstonewalkedforth。ItcameoutinMissPeechertheschoolmistress，wateringtheflowersinthelittledustybitofgardenattachedtohersmallofficialresidence，withlittlewindowsliketheeyesinneedles，andlittledoorslikethecoversofschool-books。
Small，shining，neat，methodical，andbuxomwasMissPeecher；
cherry-cheekedandtunefulofvoice。Alittlepincushion，alittlehousewife，alittlebook，alittleworkbox，alittlesetoftablesandweightsandmeasures，andalittlewoman，allinone。Shecouldwritealittleessayonanysubject，exactlyaslatelong，beginningattheleft-handtopofonesideandendingattheright-handbottomoftheother，andtheessayshouldbestrictlyaccordingtorule。IfMrBradleyHeadstonehadaddressedawrittenproposalofmarriagetoher，shewouldprobablyhaverepliedinacompletelittleessayonthethemeexactlyaslatelong，butwouldcertainlyhaverepliedYes。Forshelovedhim。Thedecenthair-guardthatwentroundhisneckandtookcareofhisdecentsilverwatchwasanobjectofenvytoher。SowouldMissPeecherhavegoneroundhisneckandtakencareofhim。Ofhim，insensible。BecausehedidnotloveMissPeecher。
MissPeecher\'sfavouritepupil，whoassistedherinherlittlehousehold，wasinattendancewithacanofwatertoreplenishherlittlewatering-pot，andsufficientlydivinedthestateofMissPeecher\'saffectionstofeelitnecessarythatsheherselfshouldloveyoungCharleyHexam。So，therewasadoublepalpitationamongthedoublestocksanddoublewall-flowers，whenthemasterandtheboylookedoverthelittlegate。
\'Afineevening，MissPeecher，\'saidtheMaster。
\'Averyfineevening，MrHeadstone，\'saidMissPeecher。\'Areyoutakingawalk?\'
\'HexamandIaregoingtotakealongwalk。\'
\'Charmingweather，\'remarkedMissPeecher，FORalongwalk。\'
\'Oursisratheronbusinessthanmerepleasure，\'saidtheMaster。
MissPeecherinvertingherwatering-pot，andverycarefullyshakingoutthefewlastdropsoveraflower，asifthereweresomespecialvirtueinthemwhichwouldmakeitaJack\'sbeanstalkbeforemorning，calledforreplenishmenttoherpupil，whohadbeenspeakingtotheboy。
\'Good-night，MissPeecher，\'saidtheMaster。
\'Good-night，MrHeadstone，\'saidtheMistress。
Thepupilhadbeen，inherstateofpupilage，soimbuedwiththeclass-customofstretchingoutanarm，asiftohailacaboromnibus，whenevershefoundshehadanobservationonhandtooffertoMissPeecher，thatsheoftendiditintheirdomesticrelations；andshediditnow。
\'Well，MaryAnne?\'saidMissPeecher。
\'Ifyouplease，ma\'am，Hexamsaidtheyweregoingtoseehissister。\'
\'Butthatcan\'tbe，Ithink，\'returnedMissPeecher:\'becauseMrHeadstonecanhavenobusinesswithHER。\'
MaryAnneagainhailed。
\'Well，MaryAnne?\'
\'Ifyouplease，ma\'am，perhapsit\'sHexam\'sbusiness?\'
\'Thatmaybe，\'saidMissPeecher。\'Ididn\'tthinkofthat。Notthatitmattersatall。\'
MaryAnneagainhailed。
\'Well，MaryAnne?\'
\'Theysayshe\'sveryhandsome。\'
\'Oh，MaryAnne，MaryAnne！\'returnedMissPeecher，slightlycolouringandshakingherhead，alittleoutofhumour；\'howoftenhaveItoldyounottousethatvagueexpression，nottospeakinthatgeneralway?WhenyousayTHEYsay，whatdoyoumean?
PartofspeechThey?\'
MaryAnnehookedherrightarmbehindherinherlefthand，asbeingunderexamination，andreplied:
\'Personalpronoun。\'
\'Person，They?\'
\'Thirdperson。\'
\'Number，They?\'
\'Pluralnumber。\'
\'Thenhowmanydoyoumean，MaryAnne?Two?Ormore?\'
\'Ibegyourpardon，ma\'am，\'saidMaryAnne，disconcertednowshecametothinkofit；\'butIdon\'tknowthatImeanmorethanherbrotherhimself。\'Asshesaidit，sheunhookedherarm。
\'Ifeltconvincedofit，\'returnedMissPeecher，smilingagain。\'Nowpray，MaryAnne，becarefulanothertime。Hesaysisverydifferentfromtheysay，remember。Differencebetweenhesaysandtheysay?Giveitme。\'
MaryAnneimmediatelyhookedherrightarmbehindherinherlefthand——anattitudeabsolutelynecessarytothesituation——andreplied:\'Oneisindicativemood，presenttense，thirdpersonsingular，verbactivetosay。Otherisindicativemood，presenttense，thirdpersonplural，verbactivetosay。\'
\'Whyverbactive，MaryAnne?\'
\'Becauseittakesapronounafteritintheobjectivecase，MissPeecher。\'
\'Verygoodindeed，\'remarkedMissPeecher，withencouragement。
\'Infact，couldnotbebetter。Don\'tforgettoapplyit，anothertime，MaryAnne。\'Thissaid，MissPeecherfinishedthewateringofherflowers，andwentintoherlittleofficialresidence，andtookarefresheroftheprincipalriversandmountainsoftheworld，theirbreadths，depths，andheights，beforesettlingthemeasurementsofthebodyofadressforherownpersonaloccupation。
BradleyHeadstoneandCharleyHexamdulygottotheSurreysideofWestminsterBridge，andcrossedthebridge，andmadealongtheMiddlesexshoretowardsMillbank。InthisregionareacertainlittlestreetcalledChurchStreet，andacertainlittleblindsquare，calledSmithSquare，inthecentreofwhichlastretreatisaveryhideouschurchwithfourtowersatthefourcorners，generallyresemblingsomepetrifiedmonster，frightfulandgigantic，onitsbackwithitslegsintheair。Theyfoundatreenearbyinacorner，andablacksmith\'sforge，andatimberyard，andadealer\'sinoldiron。Whatarustyportionofaboilerandagreatironwheelorsomeantbylyinghalf-buriedinthedealer\'sfore-
court，nobodyseemedtoknowortowanttoknow。LiketheMillerofquestionablejollityinthesong，TheycaredforNobody，nonotthey，andNobodycaredforthem。
Aftermakingtheroundofthisplace，andnotingthattherewasadeadlykindofreposeonit，moreasthoughithadtakenlaudanumthanfallenintoanaturalrest，theystoppedatthepointwherethestreetandthesquarejoined，andwherethereweresomelittlequiethousesinarow。TotheseCharleyHexamfinallyledtheway，andatoneofthesestopped。
\'Thismustbewheremysisterlives，sir。Thisiswhereshecameforatemporarylodging，soonafterfather\'sdeath。\'
\'Howoftenhaveyouseenhersince?\'
\'Why，onlytwice，sir，\'returnedtheboy，withhisformerreluctance；\'butthat\'sasmuchherdoingasmine。\'
\'Howdoesshesupportherself?\'
\'Shewasalwaysafairneedlewoman，andshekeepsthestockroomofaseaman\'soutfitter。\'
\'Doessheeverworkatherownlodginghere?\'
\'Sometimes；butherregularhoursandregularoccupationareattheirplaceofbusiness，Ibelieve，sir。Thisisthenumber。\'
Theboyknockedatadoor，andthedoorpromptlyopenedwithaspringandaclick。Aparlourdoorwithinasmallentrystoodopen，anddisclosedachild——adwarf——agirl——asomething——sittingonalittlelowold-fashionedarm-chair，whichhadakindoflittleworkingbenchbeforeit。
\'Ican\'tgetup，\'saidthechild，\'becausemyback\'sbad，andmylegsarequeer。ButI\'mthepersonofthehouse。\'
\'Whoelseisathome?\'askedCharleyHexam，staring。
\'Nobody\'sathomeatpresent，\'returnedthechild，withaglibassertionofherdignity，\'exceptthepersonofthehouse。Whatdidyouwant，youngman?\'
\'Iwantedtoseemysister。\'
\'Manyyoungmenhavesisters，\'returnedthechild。\'Givemeyourname，youngman?\'
Thequeerlittlefigure，andthequeerbutnotuglylittleface，withitsbrightgreyeyes，weresosharp，thatthesharpnessofthemannerseemedunavoidable。Asif，beingturnedoutofthatmould，itmustbesharp。
\'Hexamismyname。\'
\'Ah，indeed?\'saidthepersonofthehouse。\'Ithoughtitmightbe。
Yoursisterwillbein，inaboutaquarterofanhour。Iamveryfondofyoursister。She\'smyparticularfriend。Takeaseat。Andthisgentleman\'sname?\'
\'MrHeadstone，myschoolmaster。\'
\'Takeaseat。Andwouldyoupleasetoshutthestreetdoorfirst?I
can\'tverywelldoitmyself；becausemyback\'ssobad，andmylegsaresoqueer。\'
