OUR MUTUAL FRIEND

第2章

Thegirllaugheddelightedly,andhereeyesfilledwithpleasanttears,asheputbothhisarmsroundherwaistandsoheldher。

\'Thereareyouandme,Charley,whenfatherwasawayatworkandlockedusout,forfearweshouldsetourselvesafireorfalloutofwindow,sittingonthedoor-sill,sittingonotherdoor-steps,sittingonthebankoftheriver,wanderingabouttogetthroughthetime。

Youareratherheavytocarry,Charley,andIamoftenobligedtorest。Sometimeswearesleepyandfallasleeptogetherinacorner,sometimesweareveryhungry,sometimeswearealittlefrightened,butwhatisoftenestharduponusisthecold。Youremember,Charley?\'

\'Iremember,\'saidtheboy,pressinghertohimtwiceorthrice,\'thatIsnuggledunderalittleshawl,anditwaswarmthere。\'

\'Sometimesitrains,andwecreepunderaboatorthelikeofthat:

sometimesit\'sdark,andwegetamongthegaslights,sittingwatchingthepeopleastheygoalongthestreets。Atlast,upcomesfatherandtakesushome。Andhomeseemssuchashelterafteroutofdoors!Andfatherpullsmyshoesoff,anddriesmyfeetatthefire,andhasmetositbyhimwhilehesmokeshispipelongafteryouareabed,andInoticethatfather\'sisalargehandbutneveraheavyonewhenittouchesme,andthatfather\'sisaroughvoicebutneveranangryonewhenitspeakstome。So,Igrowup,andlittlebylittlefathertrustsme,andmakesmehiscompanion,and,lethimbeputoutashemay,neveroncestrikesme。\'

Thelisteningboygaveagrunthere,asmuchastosay\'ButhestrikesMEthough!\'

\'Thosearesomeofthepicturesofwhatispast,Charley。\'

\'Cutawayagain,\'saidtheboy,\'andgiveusafortune-tellingone;afutureone。\'

\'Well!ThereamI,continuingwithfatherandholdingtofather,becausefatherlovesmeandIlovefather。Ican\'tsomuchasreadabook,because,ifIhadlearned,fatherwouldhavethoughtIwasdesertinghim,andIshouldhavelostmyinfluence。IhavenottheinfluenceIwanttohave,IcannotstopsomedreadfulthingsItrytostop,butIgooninthehopeandtrustthatthetimewillcome。InthemeanwhileIknowthatIaminsomethingsastaytofather,andthatifIwasnotfaithfultohimhewould——inrevenge-like,orindisappointment,orboth——gowildandbad。\'

\'Giveusatouchofthefortune-tellingpicturesaboutme。\'

\'Iwaspassingontothem,Charley,\'saidthegirl,whohadnotchangedherattitudesinceshebegan,andwhonowmournfullyshookherhead;\'theotherswereallleadingup。Thereareyou——\'

\'WhereamI,Liz?\'

\'Stillinthehollowdownbytheflare。\'

\'Thereseemstobethedeuce-and-allinthehollowdownbytheflare,\'saidtheboy,glancingfromhereyestothebrazier,whichhadagrislyskeletonlookonitslongthinlegs。

\'Thereareyou,Charley,workingyourway,insecretfromfather,attheschool;andyougetprizes;andyougoonbetterandbetter;andyoucometobea——whatwasityoucalleditwhenyoutoldmeaboutthat?\'

\'Ha,ha!Fortune-tellingnotknowthename!\'criedtheboy,seemingtoberatherrelievedbythisdefaultonthepartofthehollowdownbytheflare。\'Pupil-teacher。\'

\'Youcometobeapupil-teacher,andyoustillgoonbetterandbetter,andyourisetobeamasterfulloflearningandrespect。Butthesecrethascometofather\'sknowledgelongbefore,andithasdividedyoufromfather,andfromme。\'

\'Noithasn\'t!\'

\'Yesithas,Charley。Isee,asplainasplaincanbe,thatyourwayisnotours,andthateveniffathercouldbegottoforgiveyourtakingit(whichhenevercouldbe),thatwayofyourswouldbedarkenedbyourway。ButIseetoo,Charley——\'

\'Stillasplainasplaincanbe,Liz?\'askedtheboyplayfully。

\'Ah!Still。Thatitisagreatworktohavecutyouawayfromfather\'slife,andtohavemadeanewandgoodbeginning。SothereamI,Charley,leftalonewithfather,keepinghimasstraightasI

can,watchingformoreinfluencethanIhave,andhopingthatthroughsomefortunatechance,orwhenheisill,orwhen——Idon\'tknowwhat——Imayturnhimtowishtodobetterthings。\'

\'Yousaidyoucouldn\'treadabook,Lizzie。Yourlibraryofbooksisthehollowdownbytheflare,Ithink。\'

\'Ishouldbeverygladtobeabletoreadrealbooks。Ifeelmywantoflearningverymuch,Charley。ButIshouldfeelitmuchmore,ifIdidn\'tknowittobeatiebetweenmeandfather——Hark!Father\'stread!\'

Itbeingnowpastmidnight,thebirdofpreywentstraighttoroost。

Atmid-dayfollowinghereappearedattheSixJollyFellowshipPorters,inthecharacter,notnewtohim,ofawitnessbeforeaCoroner\'sJury。

MrMortimerLightwood,besidessustainingthecharacterofoneofthewitnesses,doubledthepartwiththatoftheeminentsolicitorwhowatchedtheproceedingsonbehalfoftherepresentativesofthedeceased,aswasdulyrecordedinthenewspapers。MrInspectorwatchedtheproceedingstoo,andkepthiswatchingcloselytohimself。MrJuliusHandfordhavinggivenhisrightaddress,andbeingreportedinsolventcircumstancesastohisbill,thoughnothingmorewasknownofhimathishotelexceptthathiswayoflifewasveryretired,hadnosummonstoappear,andwasmerelypresentintheshadesofMrInspector\'smind。

Thecasewasmadeinterestingtothepublic,byMrMortimerLighiwood\'sevidencetouchingthecircumstancesunderwhichthedeceased,MrJohnHarmon,hadreturnedtoEngland;exclusiveprivateproprietorshipinwhichcircumstanceswassetupatdinner-

tablesforseveraldays,byVeneering,Twemlow,Podsnap,andalltheBuffers:whoallrelatedthemirreconcilablywithoneanother,andcontradictedthemselves。ItwasalsomadeinterestingbythetestimonyofJobPotterson,theship\'ssteward,andoneMrJacobKibble,afellow-passenger,thatthedeceasedMrJohnHarmondidbringover,inahand-valisewithwhichhediddisembark,thesumrealizedbytheforcedsaleofhislittlelandedproperty,andthatthesumexceeded,inreadymoney,sevenhundredpounds。Itwasfurthermadeinteresting,bytheremarkableexperiencesofJesseHexaminhavingrescuedfromtheThamessomanydeadbodies,andforwhosebehoofarapturousadmirersubscribinghimself\'A

friendtoBurial\'(perhapsanundertaker),senteighteenpostagestamps,andfive\'NowSir\'stotheeditoroftheTimes。

Upontheevidenceadducedbeforethem,theJuryfound,ThatthebodyofMrJohnHarmonhadbeendiscoveredfloatingintheThames,inanadvancedstateofdecay,andmuchinjured;andthatthesaidMrJohnHarmonhadcomebyhisdeathunderhighlysuspiciouscircumstances,thoughbywhoseactorinwhatprecisemannertherewasnoevidencebeforethisJurytoshow。Andtheyappendedtotheirverdict,arecommendationtotheHomeOffice(whichMrInspectorappearedtothinkhighlysensible),toofferarewardforthesolutionofthemystery。Withineight-and-fortyhours,arewardofOneHundredPoundswasproclaimed,togetherwithafreepardontoanypersonorpersonsnottheactualperpetratororperpetrators,andsoforthindueform。

ThisProclamationrenderedMrInspectoradditionallystudious,andcausedhimtostandmeditatingonriver-stairsandcauseways,andtogolurkingaboutinboats,puttingthisandthattogether。

But,accordingtothesuccesswithwhichyouputthisandthattogether,yougetawomanandafishapart,oraMermaidincombination。AndMrInspectorcouldturnoutnothingbetterthanaMermaid,whichnoJudgeandJurywouldbelievein。

Thus,likethetidesonwhichithadbeenbornetotheknowledgeofmen,theHarmonMurder——asitcametobepopularlycalled——wentupanddown,andebbedandflowed,nowinthetown,nowinthecountry,nowamongpalaces,nowamonghovels,nowamonglordsandladiesandgentlefolks,nowamonglabourersandhammerersandballast-heavers,untilatlast,afteralongintervalofslackwateritgotouttoseaanddriftedaway。

Chapter4

THER。WILFERFAMILY

ReginaldWilferisanamewithratheragrandsound,suggestingonfirstacquaintancebrassesincountrychurches,scrollsinstained-glasswindows,andgenerallytheDeWilferswhocameoverwiththeConqueror。For,itisaremarkablefactingenealogythatnoDeAnyonesevercameoverwithAnybodyelse。

But,theReginaldWilferfamilywereofsuchcommonplaceextractionandpursuitsthattheirforefathershadforgenerationsmodestlysubsistedontheDocks,theExciseOffice,andtheCustomHouse,andtheexistingR。Wilferwasapoorclerk。Sopooraclerk,thoughhavingalimitedsalaryandanunlimitedfamily,thathehadneveryetattainedthemodestobjectofhisambition:whichwas,towearacompletenewsuitofclothes,hatandbootsincluded,atonetime。Hisblackhatwasbrownbeforehecouldaffordacoat,hispantaloonswerewhiteattheseamsandkneesbeforehecouldbuyapairofboots,hisbootshadwornoutbeforehecouldtreathimselftonewpantaloons,and,bythetimeheworkedroundtothehatagain,thatshiningmodernarticleroofed-inanancientruinofvariousperiods。

IftheconventionalCherubcouldevergrowupandbeclothed,hemightbephotographedasaportraitofWilfer。Hischubby,smooth,innocentappearancewasareasonforhisbeingalwaystreatedwithcondescensionwhenhewasnotputdown。Astrangerenteringhisownpoorhouseataboutteno\'clockP。M。mighthavebeensurprisedtofindhimsittinguptosupper。Soboyishwasheinhiscurvesandproportions,thathisoldschoolmastermeetinghiminCheapside,mighthavebeenunabletowithstandthetemptationofcaninghimonthespot。Inshort,hewastheconventionalcherub,afterthesupposititiousshootjustmentioned,rathergrey,withsignsofcareonhisexpression,andindecidedlyinsolventcircumstances。

Hewasshy,andunwillingtoowntothenameofReginald,asbeingtooaspiringandself-assertiveaname。InhissignatureheusedonlytheinitialR。,andimpartedwhatitreallystoodfor,tononebutchosenfriends,underthesealofconfidence。Outofthis,thefacetioushabithadarisenintheneighbourhoodsurroundingMincingLaneofmakingchristiannamesforhimofadjectivesandparticiplesbeginningwithR。Someoftheseweremoreorlessappropriate:asRusty,Retiring,Ruddy,Round,Ripe,Ridiculous,Ruminative;others,derivedtheirpointfromtheirwantofapplication:asRaging,Rattling,Roaring,Raffish。But,hispopularnamewasRumty,whichinamomentofinspirationhadbeenbestoweduponhimbyagentlemanofconvivialhabitsconnectedwiththedrug-markets,asthebeginningofasocialchorus,hisleadingpartintheexecutionofwhichhadledthisgentlemantotheTempleofFame,andofwhichthewholeexpressiveburdenran:

\'Rumtyiddity,rowdowdow,Singtoodlely,teedlely,bowwowwow。\'

Thushewasconstantlyaddressed,eveninminornotesonbusiness,as\'DearRumty\';inanswertowhich,hesedatelysignedhimself,\'Yourstruly,R。Wilfer。\'

Hewasclerkinthedrug-houseofChicksey,Veneering,andStobbles。ChickseyandStobbles,hisformermasters,hadbothbecomeabsorbedinVeneering,oncetheirtravellerorcommissionagent:whohadsignalizedhisaccessiontosupremepowerbybringingintothebusinessaquantityofplate-glasswindowandFrench-polishedmahoganypartition,andagleamingandenormousdoorplate。

R。Wilferlockeduphisdeskoneevening,and,puttinghisbunchofkeysinhispocketmuchasifitwerehispeg-top,madeforhome。HishomewasintheHollowayregionnorthofLondon,andthendividedfromitbyfieldsandtrees。BetweenBattleBridgeandthatpartoftheHollowaydistrictinwhichhedwelt,wasatractofsuburbanSahara,wheretilesandbrickswereburnt,boneswereboiled,carpetswerebeat,rubbishwasshot,dogswerefought,anddustwasheapedbycontractors。Skirtingtheborderofthisdesert,bythewayhetook,whenthelightofitskiln-firesmadeluridsmearsonthefog,R。Wilfersighedandshookhishead。

\'Ahme!\'saidhe,\'whatmighthavebeenisnotwhatis!\'

Withwhichcommentaryonhumanlife,indicatinganexperienceofitnotexclusivelyhisown,hemadethebestofhiswaytotheendofhisjourney。

MrsWilferwas,ofcourse,atallwomanandanangular。Herlordbeingcherubic,shewasnecessarilymajestic,accordingtotheprinciplewhichmatrimoniallyunitescontrasts。Shewasmuchgiventotyingupherheadinapocket-handkerchief,knottedunderthechin。Thishead-gear,inconjunctionwithapairofgloveswornwithindoors,sheseemedtoconsiderasatonceakindofarmouragainstmisfortune(invariablyassumingitwheninlowspiritsordifficulties),andasaspeciesoffulldress。Itwasthereforewithsomesinkingofthespiritthatherhusbandbeheldherthusheroicallyattired,puttingdownhercandleinthelittlehall,andcomingdownthedoorstepsthroughthelittlefrontcourttoopenthegateforhim。

Somethinghadgonewrongwiththehouse-door,forR。Wilferstoppedonthesteps,staringatit,andcried:

\'Hal-loa?\'

\'Yes,\'saidMrsWilfer,\'themancamehimselfwithapairofpincers,andtookitoff,andtookitaway。Hesaidthatashehadnoexpectationofeverbeingpaidforit,andashehadanorderforanotherLADIES\'SCHOOLdoor-plate,itwasbetter(burnishedup)fortheinterestsofallparties。\'

\'Perhapsitwas,mydear;whatdoyouthink?\'

\'Youaremasterhere,R。W。,\'returnedhiswife。\'Itisasyouthink;

notasIdo。Perhapsitmighthavebeenbetterifthemanhadtakenthedoortoo?\'

\'Mydear,wecouldn\'thavedonewithoutthedoor。\'

\'Couldn\'twe?\'

\'Why,mydear!Couldwe?\'

\'Itisasyouthink,R。W。;notasIdo。\'Withthosesubmissivewords,thedutifulwifeprecededhimdownafewstairstoalittlebasementfrontroom,halfkitchen,halfparlour,whereagirlofaboutnineteen,withanexceedinglyprettyfigureandface,butwithanimpatientandpetulantexpressionbothinherfaceandinhershoulders(whichinhersexandatherageareveryexpressiveofdiscontent),satplayingdraughtswithayoungergirl,whowastheyoungestoftheHouseofWilfer。NottoencumberthispagebytellingofftheWilfersindetailandcastingthemupinthegross,itisenoughforthepresentthattherestwerewhatiscalled\'outintheworld,\'invariousways,andthattheywereMany。Somany,thatwhenoneofhisdutifulchildrencalledintoseehim,R。Wilfergenerallyseemedtosaytohimself,afteralittlementalarithmetic,\'Oh!here\'sanotherof\'em!\'beforeaddingaloud,\'Howdedo,John,\'

orSusan,asthecasemightbe。

\'WellPiggywiggies,\'saidR。W。,\'howdedoto-night?WhatIwasthinkingof,mydear,\'toMrsWilferalreadyseatedinacornerwithfoldedgloves,\'was,thataswehaveletourfirstfloorsowell,andaswehavenownoplaceinwhichyoucouldteachpupilsevenifpupils——\'

\'Themilkmansaidheknewoftwoyoungladiesofthehighestrespectabilitywhowereinsearchofasuitableestablishment,andhetookacard,\'interposedMrsWilfer,withseveremonotony,asifshewerereadinganActofParliamentaloud。\'TellyourfatherwhetheritwaslastMonday,Bella。\'

\'Butweneverheardanymoreofit,ma,\'saidBella,theeldergirl。

\'Inadditiontowhich,mydear,\'herhusbandurged,\'ifyouhavenoplacetoputtwoyoungpersonsinto——\'

\'Pardonme,\'MrsWilferagaininterposed;\'theywerenotyoungpersons。Twoyoungladiesofthehighestrespectability。Tellyourfather,Bella,whetherthemilkmansaidso。\'

\'Mydear,itisthesamething。\'

\'Noitisnot,\'saidMrsWilfer,withthesameimpressivemonotony。

\'Pardonme!\'

\'Imean,mydear,itisthesamethingastospace。Astospace。Ifyouhavenospaceinwhichtoputtwoyouthfulfellow-creatures,howevereminentlyrespectable,whichIdonotdoubt,wherearethoseyouthfulfellow-creaturestobeaccommodated?Icarryitnofurtherthanthat。Andsolelylookingatit,\'saidherhusband,makingthestipulationatonceinaconciliatory,complimentary,andargumentativetone——\'asIamsureyouwillagree,mylove——

fromafellow-creaturepointofview,mydear。\'

\'Ihavenothingmoretosay,\'returnedMrsWilfer,withameekrenunciatoryactionofhergloves。\'Itisasyouthink,R。W。;

notasIdo。\'

Here,thehuffingofMissBellaandthelossofthreeofhermenataswoop,aggravatedbythecoronationofanopponent,ledtothatyounglady\'sjerkingthedraught-boardandpiecesoffthetable:

whichhersisterwentdownonherkneestopickup。

\'PoorBella!\'saidMrsWilfer。

\'AndpoorLavinia,perhaps,mydear?\'suggestedR。W。

\'Pardonme,\'saidMrsWilfer,\'no!\'

Itwasoneoftheworthywoman\'sspecialitiesthatshehadanamazingpowerofgratifyingherspleneticorwordly-mindedhumoursbyextollingherownfamily:whichshethusproceeded,inthepresentcase,todo。

\'No,R。W。LaviniahasnotknownthetrialthatBellahasknown。

ThetrialthatyourdaughterBellahasundergone,is,perhaps,withoutaparallel,andhasbeenborne,Iwillsay,Nobly。WhenyouseeyourdaughterBellainherblackdress,whichshealoneofallthefamilywears,andwhenyourememberthecircumstanceswhichhaveledtoherwearingit,andwhenyouknowhowthosecircumstanceshavebeensustained,then,R。W。,layyourheaduponyourpillowandsay,“PoorLavinia!“\'

Here,MissLavinia,fromherkneelingsituationunderthetable,putinthatshedidn\'twanttobe\'pooredbypa\',oranybodyelse。

\'Iamsureyoudonot,mydear,\'returnedhermother,\'foryouhaveafinebravespirit。AndyoursisterCeciliahasafinebravespiritofanotherkind,aspiritofpuredevotion,abeau-ti-fulspirit!Theself-sacrificeofCeciliarevealsapureandwomanlycharacter,veryseldomequalled,neversurpassed。IhavenowinmypocketaletterfromyoursisterCecilia,receivedthismorning——receivedthreemonthsafterhermarriage,poorchild!——inwhichshetellsmethatherhusbandmustunexpectedlyshelterundertheirroofhisreducedaunt。“ButIwillbetruetohim,mamma,“shetouchinglywrites,“Iwillnotleavehim,Imustnotforgetthatheismyhusband。Lethisauntcome!“Ifthisisnotpathetic,ifthisisnotwoman\'sdevotion——!\'Thegoodladywavedherglovesinasenseoftheimpossibilityofsayingmore,andtiedthepocket-

handkerchiefoverherheadinatighterknotunderherchin。

Bella,whowasnowseatedontherugtowarmherself,withherbrowneyesonthefireandahandfulofherbrowncurlsinhermouth,laughedatthis,andthenpoutedandhalfcried。

\'Iamsure,\'saidshe,\'thoughyouhavenofeelingforme,pa,Iamoneofthemostunfortunategirlsthateverlived。Youknowhowpoorweare\'(itisprobablehedid,havingsomereasontoknowit!),\'andwhataglimpseofwealthIhad,andhowitmeltedaway,andhowIamhereinthisridiculousmourning——whichIhate!——akindofawidowwhoneverwasmarried。Andyetyoudon\'tfeelforme——Yesyoudo,yesyoudo。\'

Thisabruptchangewasoccasionedbyherfather\'sface。Shestoppedtopullhimdownfromhischairinanattitudehighlyfavourabletostrangulation,andtogivehimakissandapatortwoonthecheek。

\'Butyououghttofeelforme,youknow,pa。\'

\'Mydear,Ido。\'

\'Yes,andIsayyououghtto。Iftheyhadonlyleftmealoneandtoldmenothingaboutit,itwouldhavematteredmuchless。ButthatnastyMrLightwoodfeelsithisduty,ashesays,towriteandtellmewhatisinreserveforme,andthenIamobligedtogetridofGeorgeSampson。\'

Here,Lavinia,risingtothesurfacewiththelastdraughtmanrescued,interposed,\'YounevercaredforGeorgeSampson,Bella。\'

\'AnddidIsayIdid,miss?\'Then,poutingagain,withthecurlsinhermouth;\'GeorgeSampsonwasveryfondofme,andadmiredmeverymuch,andputupwitheverythingIdidtohim。\'

\'Youwererudeenoughtohim,\'Laviniaagaininterposed。

\'AnddidIsayIwasn\'t,miss?IamnotsettinguptobesentimentalaboutGeorgeSampson。IonlysayGeorgeSampsonwasbetterthannothing。\'

\'Youdidn\'tshowhimthatyouthoughteventhat,\'Laviniaagaininterposed。

\'Youareachitandalittleidiot,\'returnedBella,\'oryouwouldn\'tmakesuchadollyspeech。Whatdidyouexpectmetodo?Waittillyouareawoman,anddon\'ttalkaboutwhatyoudon\'tunderstand。Youonlyshowyourignorance!\'Then,whimperingagain,andatintervalsbitingthecurls,andstoppingtolookhowmuchwasbittenoff,\'It\'sashame!Thereneverwassuchahardcase!Ishouldn\'tcaresomuchifitwasn\'tsoridiculous。Itwasridiculousenoughtohaveastrangercomingovertomarryme,whetherhelikeditornot。Itwasridiculousenoughtoknowwhatanembarrassingmeetingitwouldbe,andhowwenevercouldpretendtohaveaninclinationofourown,eitherofus。ItwasridiculousenoughtoknowIshouldn\'tlikehim——howCOULDI

likehim,lefttohiminawill,likeadozenofspoons,witheverythingcutanddriedbeforehand,likeorangechips。Talkoforangeflowersindeed!Ideclareagainit\'sashame!Thoseridiculouspointswouldhavebeensmoothedawaybythemoney,forIlovemoney,andwantmoney——wantitdreadfully。Ihatetobepoor,andwearedegradinglypoor,offensivelypoor,miserablypoor,beastlypoor。ButhereIam,leftwithalltheridiculouspartsofthesituationremaining,and,addedtothemall,thisridiculousdress!Andifthetruthwasknown,whentheHarmonmurderwasalloverthetown,andpeoplewerespeculatingonitsbeingsuicide,Idaresaythoseimpudentwretchesattheclubsandplacesmadejokesaboutthemiserablecreature\'shavingpreferredawaterygravetome。It\'slikelyenoughtheytooksuchliberties;Ishouldn\'twonder!Ideclareit\'saveryhardcaseindeed,andIamamostunfortunategirl。Theideaofbeingakindofawidow,andneverhavingbeenmarried!Andtheideaofbeingaspooraseverafterall,andgoingintoblack,besides,foramanIneversaw,andshouldhavehated——asfarasHEwasconcerned——ifIhadseen!\'

Theyounglady\'slamentationswerecheckedatthispointbyaknuckle,knockingatthehalf-opendooroftheroom。Theknucklehadknockedtwoorthreetimesalready,buthadnotbeenheard。

\'Whoisit?\'saidMrsWilfer,inherAct-of-Parliamentmanner。

\'Enter!\'

Agentlemancomingin,MissBella,withashortandsharpexclamation,scrambledoffthehearth-rugandmassedthebittencurlstogetherintheirrightplaceonherneck。

\'TheservantgirlhadherkeyinthedoorasIcameup,anddirectedmetothisroom,tellingmeIwasexpected。IamafraidIshouldhaveaskedhertoannounceme。\'

\'Pardonme,\'returnedMrsWilfer。\'Notatall。Twoofmydaughters。R。W。,thisisthegentlemanwhohastakenyourfirst-

floor。Hewassogoodastomakeanappointmentforto-night,whenyouwouldbeathome。\'

Adarkgentleman。Thirtyattheutmost。Anexpressive,onemightsayhandsome,face。Averybadmanner。Inthelastdegreeconstrained,reserved,diffident,troubled。HiseyeswereonMissBellaforaninstant,andthenlookedatthegroundasheaddressedthemasterofthehouse。

\'SeeingthatIamquitesatisfied,MrWilfer,withtherooms,andwiththeirsituation,andwiththeirprice,Isupposeamemorandumbetweenusoftwoorthreelines,andapaymentdown,willbindthebargain?Iwishtosendinfurniturewithoutdelay。\'

Twoorthreetimesduringthisshortaddress,thecherubaddressedhadmadechubbymotionstowardsachair。Thegentlemannowtookit,layingahesitatinghandonacornerofthetable,andwithanotherhesitatinghandliftingthecrownofhishattohislips,anddrawingitbeforehismouth。

\'Thegentleman,R。W。,\'saidMrsWilfer,\'proposestotakeyourapartmentsbythequarter。Aquarter\'snoticeoneitherside。\'

\'ShallImention,sir,\'insinuatedthelandlord,expectingittobereceivedasamatterofcourse,\'theformofareference?\'

\'Ithink,\'returnedthegentleman,afterapause,\'thatareferenceisnotnecessary;neither,tosaythetruth,isitconvenient,forIamastrangerinLondon。Irequirenoreferencefromyou,andperhaps,therefore,youwillrequirenonefromme。Thatwillbefaironbothsides。Indeed,Ishowthegreaterconfidenceofthetwo,forIwillpayinadvancewhateveryouplease,andIamgoingtotrustmyfurniturehere。Whereas,ifyouwereinembarrassedcircumstances——thisismerelysupposititious——\'

ConsciencecausingR。Wilfertocolour,MrsWilfer,fromacorner(shealwaysgotintostatelycorners)cametotherescuewithadeep-toned\'Per-fectly。\'

\'——WhythenI——mightloseit。\'

\'Well!\'observedR。Wilfer,cheerfully,\'moneyandgoodsarecertainlythebestofreferences。\'

\'DoyouthinktheyAREthebest,pa?\'askedMissBella,inalowvoice,andwithoutlookingoverhershoulderasshewarmedherfootonthefender。

\'Amongthebest,mydear。\'

\'Ishouldhavethought,myself,itwassoeasytoaddtheusualkindofone,\'saidBella,withatossofhercurls。

Thegentlemanlistenedtoher,withafaceofmarkedattention,thoughheneitherlookedupnorchangedhisattitude。Hesat,stillandsilent,untilhisfuturelandlordacceptedhisproposals,andbroughtwritingmaterialstocompletethebusiness。Hesat,stillandsilent,whilethelandlordwrote。

Whentheagreementwasreadyinduplicate(thelandlordhavingworkedatitlikesomecherubicscribe,inwhatisconventionallycalledadoubtful,whichmeansanotatalldoubtful,OldMaster),itwassignedbythecontractingparties,Bellalookingonasscornfulwitness。ThecontractingpartieswereR。Wilfer,andJohnRokesmithEsquire。

WhenitcametoBella\'sturntosignhername,MrRokesmith,whowasstanding,ashehadsat,withahesitatinghanduponthetable,lookedatherstealthily,butnarrowly。Helookedattheprettyfigurebendingdownoverthepaperandsaying,\'WhereamItogo,pa?Here,inthiscorner?\'Helookedatthebeautifulbrownhair,shadingthecoquettishface;helookedatthefreedashofthesignature,whichwasaboldoneforawoman\'s;andthentheylookedatoneanother。

\'Muchobligedtoyou,MissWilfer。\'

\'Obliged?\'

\'Ihavegivenyousomuchtrouble。\'

\'Signingmyname?Yes,certainly。ButIamyourlandlord\'sdaughter,sir。\'

Astherewasnothingmoretodobutpayeightsovereignsinearnestofthebargain,pockettheagreement,appointatimeforthearrivalofhisfurnitureandhimself,andgo,MrRokesmithdidthatasawkwardlyasitmightbedone,andwasescortedbyhislandlordtotheouterair。WhenR。Wilferreturned,candlestickinhand,tothebosomofhisfamily,hefoundthebosomagitated。

\'Pa,\'saidBella,\'wehavegotaMurdererforatenant。\'

\'Pa,\'saidLavinia,\'wehavegotaRobber。\'

\'Toseehimunableforhislifetolookanybodyintheface!\'saidBella。\'Thereneverwassuchanexhibition。\'

\'Mydears,\'saidtheirfather,\'heisadiffidentgentleman,andI

shouldsayparticularlysointhesocietyofgirlsofyourage。\'

\'Nonsense,ourage!\'criedBella,impatiently。\'What\'sthatgottodowithhim?\'

\'Besides,wearenotofthesameage:——whichage?\'demandedLavinia。

\'NeverYOUmind,Lavvy,\'retortedBella;\'youwaittillyouareofanagetoasksuchquestions。Pa,markmywords!BetweenMrRokesmithandme,thereisanaturalantipathyandadeepdistrust;

andsomethingwillcomeofit!\'

\'Mydear,andgirls,\'saidthecherub-patriarch,\'betweenMrRokesmithandme,thereisamatterofeightsovereigns,andsomethingforsuppershallcomeofit,ifyou\'llagreeuponthearticle。\'

Thiswasaneatandhappyturntogivethesubject,treatsbeingrareintheWilferhousehold,whereamonotonousappearanceofDutch-cheeseatteno\'clockintheeveninghadbeenratherfrequentlycommentedonbythedimpledshouldersofMissBella。

Indeed,themodestDutchmanhimselfseemedconsciousofhiswantofvariety,andgenerallycamebeforethefamilyinastateofapologeticperspiration。Aftersomediscussionontherelativemeritsofveal-cutlet,sweetbread,andlobster,adecisionwaspronouncedinfavourofveal-cutlet。MrsWilferthensolemnlydivestedherselfofherhandkerchiefandgloves,asapreliminarysacrificetopreparingthefrying-pan,andR。W。himselfwentouttopurchasetheviand。Hesoonreturned,bearingthesameinafreshcabbage-leaf,whereitcoylyembracedarasherofham。Melodioussoundswerenotlonginrisingfromthefrying-panonthefire,orinseeming,asthefirelightdancedinthemellowhallsofacoupleoffullbottlesonthetable,toplayappropriatedance-music。

TheclothwaslaidbyLavvy。Bella,astheacknowledgedornamentofthefamily,employedbothherhandsingivingherhairanadditionalwavewhilesittingintheeasiestchair,andoccasionallythrewinadirectiontouchingthesupper:as,\'Verybrown,ma;\'or,tohersister,\'Putthesaltcellarstraight,miss,anddon\'tbeadowdylittlepuss。\'

Meantimeherfather,chinkingMrRokesmith\'sgoldashesatexpectantbetweenhisknifeandfork,remarkedthatsixofthosesovereignscamejustintimefortheirlandlord,andstoodtheminalittlepileonthewhitetableclothtolookat。

\'Ihateourlandlord!\'saidBella。

But,observingafallinherfather\'sface,shewentandsatdownbyhimatthetable,andbegantouchinguphishairwiththehandleofafork。Itwasoneofthegirl\'sspoiltwaystobealwaysarrangingthefamily\'shair——perhapsbecauseherownwassopretty,andoccupiedsomuchofherattention。

\'Youdeservetohaveahouseofyourown;don\'tyou,poorpa?\'

\'Idon\'tdeserveitbetterthananother,mydear。\'

\'AtanyrateI,forone,wantitmorethananother,\'saidBella,holdinghimbythechin,asshestuckhisflaxenhaironend,\'andI

grudgethismoneygoingtotheMonsterthatswallowsupsomuch,whenweallwant——Everything。Andifyousay(asyouwanttosay;

Iknowyouwanttosayso,pa)“that\'sneitherreasonablenorhonest,Bella,“thenIanswer,“Maybenot,pa——verylikely——butit\'soneoftheconsequencesofbeingpoor,andofthoroughlyhatinganddetestingtobepoor,andthat\'smycase。”Now,youlooklovely,pa;whydon\'tyoualwayswearyourhairlikethat?Andhere\'sthecutlet!Ifitisn\'tverybrown,ma,Ican\'teatit,andmusthaveabitputbacktobedoneexpressly。\'

However,asitwasbrown,eventoBella\'staste,theyoungladygraciouslypartookofitwithoutreconsignmenttothefrying-pan,andalso,induecourse,ofthecontentsofthetwobottles:whereofoneheldScotchaleandtheotherrum。Thelatterperfume,withthefosteringaidofboilingwaterandlemon-peel,diffuseditselfthroughouttheroom,andbecamesohighlyconcentratedaroundthewarmfireside,thatthewindpassingoverthehouseroofmusthaverushedoffchargedwithadeliciouswhiffofit,afterbuzzinglikeagreatbeeatthatparticularchimneypot。

\'Pa,\'saidBella,sippingthefragrantmixtureandwarmingherfavouriteankle;\'whenoldMrHarmonmadesuchafoolofme(nottomentionhimself,asheisdead),whatdoyousupposehediditfor?\'

\'Impossibletosay,mydear。AsIhavetoldyoutimeoutofnumbersincehiswillwasbroughttolight,IdoubtifIeverexchangedahundredwordswiththeoldgentleman。Ifitwashiswhimtosurpriseus,hiswhimsucceeded。Forhecertainlydidit。\'

\'AndIwasstampingmyfootandscreaming,whenhefirsttooknoticeofme;wasI?\'saidBella,contemplatingtheanklebeforementioned。

\'Youwerestampingyourlittlefoot,mydear,andscreamingwithyourlittlevoice,andlayingintomewithyourlittlebonnet,whichyouhadsnatchedoffforthepurpose,\'returnedherfather,asiftheremembrancegavearelishtotherum;\'youweredoingthisoneSundaymorningwhenItookyouout,becauseIdidn\'tgotheexactwayyouwanted,whentheoldgentleman,sittingonaseatnear,said,“That\'sanicegirl;that\'saVERYnicegirl;apromisinggirl!“

Andsoyouwere,mydear。\'

\'Andthenheaskedmyname,didhe,pa?\'

\'Thenheaskedyourname,mydear,andmine;andonotherSundaymornings,whenwewalkedhisway,wesawhimagain,and——andreallythat\'sall。\'

Asthatwasalltherumandwatertoo,or,inotherwords,asR。W。

delicatelysignifiedthathisglasswasempty,bythrowingbackhisheadandstandingtheglassupsidedownonhisnoseandupperlip,itmighthavebeencharitableinMrsWilfertosuggestreplenishment。Butthatheroinebrieflysuggesting\'Bedtime\'

instead,thebottleswereputaway,andthefamilyretired;shecherubicallyescorted,likesomeseveresaintinapainting,ormerelyhumanmatronallegoricallytreated。

\'Andbythistimeto-morrow,\'saidLaviniawhenthetwogirlswerealoneintheirroom,\'weshallhaveMrRokesmithhere,andshallbeexpectingtohaveourthroatscut。\'

\'Youneedn\'tstandbetweenmeandthecandleforallthat,\'retortedBella。\'Thisisanotheroftheconsequencesofbeingpoor!Theideaofagirlwithareallyfineheadofhair,havingtodoitbyoneflatcandleandafewinchesoflooking-glass!\'

\'YoucaughtGeorgeSampsonwithit,Bella,badasyourmeansofdressingitare。\'

\'Youlowlittlething。CaughtGeorgeSampsonwithit!Don\'ttalkaboutcatchingpeople,miss,tillyourowntimeforcatching——asyoucallit——comes。\'

\'Perhapsithascome,\'mutteredLavvy,withatossofherhead。

\'Whatdidyousay?\'askedBella,verysharply。\'Whatdidyousay,miss?\'

Lavvydecliningequallytorepeatortoexplain,Bellagraduallylapsedoverherhair-dressingintoasoliloquyonthemiseriesofbeingpoor,asexemplifiedinhavingnothingtoputon,nothingtogooutin,nothingtodressby,onlyanastyboxtodressatinsteadofacommodiousdressing-table,andbeingobligedtotakeinsuspiciouslodgers。Onthelastgrievanceasherclimax,shelaidgreatstress——andmighthavelaidgreater,hadsheknownthatifMrJuliusHandfordhadatwinbrotheruponearth,MrJohnRokesmithwastheman。

Chapter5

BOFFIN\'SBOWER

OveragainstaLondonhouse,acornerhousenotfarfromCavendishSquare,amanwithawoodenleghadsatforsomeyears,withhisremainingfootinabasketincoldweather,pickingupalivingonthiswise:——Everymorningateighto\'clock,hestumpedtothecorner,carryingachair,aclothes-horse,apairoftrestles,aboard,abasket,andanumbrella,allstrappedtogether。

Separatingthese,theboardandtrestlesbecameacounter,thebasketsuppliedthefewsmalllotsoffruitandsweetsthatheofferedforsaleuponitandbecameafoot-warmer,theunfoldedclothes-horsedisplayedachoicecollectionofhalfpennyballadsandbecameascreen,andthestoolplantedwithinitbecamehispostfortherestoftheday。Allweatherssawthemanatthepost。

Thisistobeacceptedinadoublesense,forhecontrivedabacktohiswoodenstool,byplacingitagainstthelamp-post。Whentheweatherwaswet,heputuphisumbrellaoverhisstockintrade,notoverhimself;whentheweatherwasdry,hefurledthatfadedarticle,tieditroundwithapieceofyarn,andlaiditcross-wiseunderthetrestles:whereitlookedlikeanunwholesomely-forcedlettucethathadlostincolourandcrispnesswhatithadgainedinsize。

Hehadestablishedhisrighttothecorner,byimperceptibleprescription。Hehadnevervariedhisgroundaninch,buthadinthebeginningdiffidentlytakenthecorneruponwhichthesideofthehousegave。Ahowlingcornerinthewintertime,adustycornerinthesummertime,anundesirablecorneratthebestoftimes。Shelterlessfragmentsofstrawandpapergotuprevolvingstormsthere,whenthemainstreetwasatpeace;andthewater-

cart,asifitweredrunkorshort-sighted,cameblunderingandjoltingroundit,makingitmuddywhenallelsewasclean。

Onthefrontofhissale-boardhungalittleplacard,likeakettle-

holder,bearingtheinscriptioninhisownsmalltext:

ErrandsgoneOnwithfiDelityByLadiesandGentlemenIremainYourhumbleServt:

SilasWeggHehadnotonlysettleditwithhimselfincourseoftime,thathewaserrand-goerbyappointmenttothehouseatthecorner(thoughhereceivedsuchcommissionsnothalfadozentimesinayear,andthenonlyassomeservant\'sdeputy),butalsothathewasoneofthehouse\'sretainersandowedvassalagetoitandwasboundtolealandloyalinterestinit。Forthisreason,healwaysspokeofitas\'OurHouse,\'and,thoughhisknowledgeofitsaffairswasmostlyspeculativeandallwrong,claimedtobeinitsconfidence。Onsimilargroundsheneverbeheldaninmateatanyoneofitswindowsbuthetouchedhishat。Yet,heknewsolittleabouttheinmatesthathegavethemnamesofhisowninvention:as\'MissElizabeth\',\'MasterGeorge\',\'AuntJane\',\'UncleParker\'——havingnoauthoritywhateverforanysuchdesignations,butparticularlythelast——towhich,asanaturalconsequence,hestuckwithgreatobstinacy。

Overthehouseitself,heexercisedthesameimaginarypowerasoveritsinhabitantsandtheiraffairs。Hehadneverbeeninit,thelengthofapieceoffatblackwater-pipewhichtraileditselfoverthearea-doorintoadampstonepassage,andhadrathertheairofaleechonthehousethathad\'taken\'wonderfully;butthiswasnoimpedimenttohisarrangingitaccordingtoaplanofhisown。Itwasagreatdingyhousewithaquantityofdimsidewindowandblankbackpremises,anditcosthismindaworldoftroublesotolayitoutastoaccountforeverythinginitsexternalappearance。

But,thisoncedone,wasquitesatisfactory,andherestedpersuaded,thatheknewhiswayaboutthehouseblindfold:fromthebarredgarretsinthehighroof,tothetwoironextinguishersbeforethemaindoor——whichseemedtorequestalllivelyvisitorstohavethekindnesstoputthemselvesout,beforeentering。

Assuredly,thisstallofSilasWegg\'swasthehardestlittlestallofallthesterilelittlestallsinLondon。Itgaveyoutheface-achetolookathisapples,thestomach-achetolookathisoranges,thetooth-achetolookathisnuts。Ofthelattercommodityhehadalwaysagrimlittleheap,onwhichlayalittlewoodenmeasurewhichhadnodiscernibleinside,andwasconsideredtorepresentthepenn\'orthappointedbyMagnaCharta。Whetherfromtoomucheastwindorno——itwasaneasterlycorner——thestall,thestock,andthekeeper,wereallasdryastheDesert。Weggwasaknottyman,andaclose-grained,withafacecarvedoutofveryhardmaterial,thathadjustasmuchplayofexpressionasawatchman\'srattle。Whenhelaughed,certainjerksoccurredinit,andtherattlesprung。Soothtosay,hewassowoodenamanthatheseemedtohavetakenhiswoodenlegnaturally,andrathersuggestedtothefancifulobserver,thathemightbeexpected——ifhisdevelopmentreceivednountimelycheck——tobecompletelysetupwithapairofwoodenlegsinaboutsixmonths。

MrWeggwasanobservantperson,or,ashehimselfsaid,\'tookapowerfulsightofnotice\'。Hesalutedallhisregularpassers-byeveryday,ashesatonhisstoolbackedupbythelamp-post;andontheadaptablecharacterofthesesaluteshegreatlyplumedhimself。Thus,totherector,headdressedabow,compoundedoflaydeference,andaslighttouchoftheshadypreliminarymeditationatchurch;tothedoctor,aconfidentialbow,astoagentlemanwhoseacquaintancewithhisinsidehebeggedrespectfullytoacknowledge;beforetheQualityhedelightedtoabasehimself;andforUncleParker,whowasinthearmy(atleast,sohehadsettledit),heputhisopenhandtothesideofhishat,inamilitarymannerwhichthatangry-eyedbuttoned-upinflammatory-facedoldgentlemanappearedbutimperfectlytoappreciate。

TheonlyarticleinwhichSilasdealt,thatwasnothard,wasgingerbread。Onacertainday,somewretchedinfanthavingpurchasedthedampgingerbread-horse(fearfullyoutofcondition),andtheadhesivebird-cage,whichhadbeenexposedfortheday\'ssale,hehadtakenatinboxfromunderhisstooltoproducearelayofthosedreadfulspecimens,andwasgoingtolookinatthelid,whenhesaidtohimself,pausing:\'Oh!Hereyouareagain!\'

Thewordsreferredtoabroad,round-shouldered,one-sidedoldfellowinmourning,comingcomicallyamblingtowardsthecorner,dressedinapeaover-coat,andcarryingalargestick。Heworethickshoes,andthickleathergaiters,andthickgloveslikeahedger\'s。Bothastohisdressandtohimself,hewasofanoverlappingrhinocerosbuild,withfoldsinhischeeks,andhisforehead,andhiseyelids,andhislips,andhisears;butwithbright,eager,childishly-inquiring,greyeyes,underhisraggedeyebrows,andbroad-brimmedhat。Averyodd-lookingoldfellowaltogether。

\'Hereyouareagain,\'repeatedMrWegg,musing。\'Andwhatareyounow?AreyouintheFunns,orwhereareyou?Haveyoulatelycometosettleinthisneighbourhood,ordoyouowntoanotherneighbourhood?Areyouinindependentcircumstances,orisitwastingthemotionsofabowonyou?Come!I\'llspeculate!

I\'llinvestabowinyou。\'

WhichMrWegg,havingreplacedhistinbox,accordinglydid,asherosetobaithisgingerbread-trapforsomeotherdevotedinfant。

Thesalutewasacknowledgedwith:

\'Morning,sir!Morning!Morning!\'

(\'CallsmeSir!\'saidMrWegg,tohimself;\'HEwon\'tanswer。A

bowgone!\')

\'Morning,morning,morning!\'

\'Appearstoberathera\'artyoldcock,too,\'saidMrWegg,asbefore;\'GoodmorningtoYOU,sir。\'

\'Doyourememberme,then?\'askedhisnewacquaintance,stoppinginhisamble,one-sided,beforethestall,andspeakinginapoundingway,thoughwithgreatgood-humour。

\'Ihavenoticedyougopastourhouse,sir,severaltimesinthecourseofthelastweekorso。\'

\'Ourhouse,\'repeatedtheother。\'Meaning——?\'

\'Yes,\'saidMrWegg,nodding,astheotherpointedtheclumsyforefingerofhisrightgloveatthecornerhouse。

\'Oh!Now,what,\'pursuedtheoldfellow,inaninquisitivemanner,carryinghisknottedstickinhisleftarmasifitwereababy,\'whatdotheyallowyounow?\'

\'It\'sjobworkthatIdoforourhouse,\'returnedSilas,drily,andwithreticence;\'it\'snotyetbroughttoanexactallowance。\'

\'Oh!It\'snotyetbroughttoanexactallowance?No!It\'snotyetbroughttoanexactallowance。Oh!——Morning,morning,morning!\'

\'Appearstoberatheracrackedoldcock,\'thoughtSilas,qualifyinghisformergoodopinion,astheotherambledoff。But,inamomenthewasbackagainwiththequestion:

\'Howdidyougetyourwoodenleg?\'

MrWeggreplied,(tartlytothispersonalinquiry),\'Inanaccident。\'

\'Doyoulikeit?\'

\'Well!Ihaven\'tgottokeepitwarm,\'MrWeggmadeanswer,inasortofdesperationoccasionedbythesingularityofthequestion。

\'Hehasn\'t,\'repeatedtheothertohisknottedstick,ashegaveitahug;\'hehasn\'tgot——ha!——ha!——tokeepitwarm!DidyoueverhearofthenameofBoffin?\'

\'No,\'saidMrWegg,whowasgrowingrestiveunderthisexamination。\'IneverdidhearofthenameofBoffin。\'

\'Doyoulikeit?\'

\'Why,no,\'retortedMrWegg,againapproachingdesperation;\'I

can\'tsayIdo。\'

\'Whydon\'tyoulikeit?\'

\'Idon\'tknowwhyIdon\'t,\'retortedMrWegg,approachingfrenzy,\'butIdon\'tatall。\'

\'Now,I\'lltellyousomethingthat\'llmakeyousorryforthat,\'saidthestranger,smiling。\'Myname\'sBoffin。\'

\'Ican\'thelpit!\'returnedMrWegg。Implyinginhismannertheoffensiveaddition,\'andifIcould,Iwouldn\'t。\'

\'Butthere\'sanotherchanceforyou,\'saidMrBoffin,smilingstill,\'DoyoulikethenameofNicodemus?Thinkitover。Nick,orNoddy。\'

\'Itisnot,sir,\'MrWeggrejoined,ashesatdownonhisstool,withanairofgentleresignation,combinedwithmelancholycandour;itisnotanameasIcouldwishanyonethatIhadarespectfor,tocallMEby;buttheremaybepersonsthatwouldnotviewitwiththesameobjections——Idon\'tknowwhy,\'MrWeggadded,anticipatinganotherquestion。

\'NoddyBoffin,\'saidthatgentleman。\'Noddy。That\'smyname。

Noddy——orNick——Boffin。What\'syourname?\'

\'SilasWegg——Idon\'t,\'saidMrWegg,bestirringhimselftotakethesameprecautionasbefore,\'Idon\'tknowwhySilas,andIdon\'tknowwhyWegg。\'

\'Now,Wegg,\'saidMrBoffin,hugginghisstickcloser,\'Iwanttomakeasortofoffertoyou。Doyourememberwhenyoufirstseeme?\'

ThewoodenWegglookedathimwithameditativeeye,andalsowithasoftenedairasdescryingpossibilityofprofit。\'Letmethink。

Iain\'tquitesure,andyetIgenerallytakeapowerfulsightofnotice,too。WasitonaMondaymorning,whenthebutcher-boyhadbeentoourhousefororders,andboughtaballadofme,which,beingunacquaintedwiththetune,Irunitovertohim?\'

\'Right,Wegg,right!Butheboughtmorethanone。\'

\'Yes,tobesure,sir;heboughtseveral;andwishingtolayouthismoneytothebest,hetookmyopiniontoguidehischoice,andwewentoverthecollectiontogether。Tobesurewedid。Herewashimasitmightbe,andherewasmyselfasitmightbe,andtherewasyou,MrBoffin,asyouidenticallyare,withyourself-samestickunderyourverysamearm,andyourverysamebacktowardsus。To——be——sure!\'addedMrWegg,lookingalittleroundMrBoffin,totakehimintherear,andidentifythislastextraordinarycoincidence,\'yourweryself-sameback!\'

\'WhatdoyouthinkIwasdoing,Wegg?\'

\'Ishouldjudge,sir,thatyoumightbeglancingyoureyedownthestreet。\'

\'No,Wegg。Iwasalistening。\'

\'Wasyou,indeed?\'saidMrWegg,dubiously。

\'Notinadishonourableway,Wegg,becauseyouwassingingtothebutcher;andyouwouldn\'tsingsecretstoabutcherinthestreet,youknow。\'

\'ItneverhappenedthatIdidsoyet,tothebestofmyremembrance,\'saidMrWegg,cautiously。\'ButImightdoit。A

mancan\'tsaywhathemightwishtodosomedayoranother。\'

(This,nottoreleaseanylittleadvantagehemightderivefromMrBoffin\'savowal。)

\'Well,\'repeatedBoffin,\'Iwasalisteningtoyouandtohim。Andwhatdoyou——youhaven\'tgotanotherstool,haveyou?I\'mratherthickinmybreath。\'

\'Ihaven\'tgotanother,butyou\'rewelcometothis,\'saidWegg,resigningit。\'It\'satreattometostand。\'

\'Lard!\'exclaimedMrBoffin,inatoneofgreatenjoyment,ashesettledhimselfdown,stillnursinghissticklikeababy,\'it\'sapleasantplace,this!Andthentobeshutinoneachside,withtheseballads,likesomanybook-leafblinkers!Why,itsdelightful!\'

\'IfIamnotmistaken,sir,\'MrWeggdelicatelyhinted,restingahandonhisstall,andbendingoverthediscursiveBoffin,\'youalludedtosomeofferoranotherthatwasinyourmind?\'

\'I\'mcomingtoit!Allright。I\'mcomingtoit!IwasgoingtosaythatwhenIlistenedthatmorning,Ilistenedwithhadmirationamountingtohaw。Ithoughttomyself,“Here\'samanwithawoodenleg——aliterarymanwith——“\'

\'N——notexactlyso,sir,\'saidMrWegg。

\'Why,youknoweveryoneofthesesongsbynameandbytune,andifyouwanttoreadortosinganyoneon\'emoffstraight,you\'veonlytowhiponyourspectaclesanddoit!\'criedMrBoffin。

\'Iseeyouatit!\'

\'Well,sir,\'returnedMrWegg,withaconsciousinclinationofthehead;\'we\'llsayliterary,then。\'

\'“Aliteraryman——WITHawoodenleg——andallPrintisopentohim!“That\'swhatIthoughttomyself,thatmorning,\'pursuedMrBoffin,leaningforwardtodescribe,uncrampedbytheclotheshorse,aslargeanarcashisrightarmcouldmake;\'“allPrintisopentohim!“Anditis,ain\'tit?\'

\'Why,truly,sir,\'MrWeggadmitted,withmodesty;\'Ibelieveyoucouldn\'tshowmethepieceofEnglishprint,thatIwouldn\'tbeequaltocollaringandthrowing。\'

\'Onthespot?\'saidMrBoffin。

\'Onthespot。\'

\'Iknow\'dit!Thenconsiderthis。HereamI,amanwithoutawoodenleg,andyetallprintisshuttome。\'

\'Indeed,sir?\'MrWeggreturnedwithincreasingself-complacency。

\'Educationneglected?\'

\'Neg——lected!\'repeatedBoffin,withemphasis。\'Thatain\'tnowordforit。Idon\'tmeantosaybutwhatifyoushowedmeaB,Icouldsofargiveyouchangeforit,astoanswerBoffin。\'

\'Come,come,sir,\'saidMrWegg,throwinginalittleencouragement,\'that\'ssomething,too。\'

\'It\'ssomething,\'answeredMrBoffin,\'butI\'lltakemyoathitain\'tmuch。\'

\'Perhapsit\'snotasmuchascouldbewishedbyaninquiringmind,sir,\'MrWeggadmitted。

\'Now,lookhere。I\'mretiredfrombusiness。MeandMrsBoffin——

HeneriettyBoffin——whichherfather\'snamewasHenery,andhermother\'snamewasHetty,andsoyougetit——weliveonacompittance,underthewillofadiseasedgovernor。\'

\'Gentlemandead,sir?\'

\'Manalive,don\'tItellyou?Adiseasedgovernor?Now,it\'stoolateformetobeginshovellingandsiftingatalphabedsandgrammar-books。I\'mgettingtobeaoldbird,andIwanttotakeiteasy。ButIwantsomereading——somefineboldreading,somesplendidbookinagorgingLord-Mayor\'s-Showofwollumes\'

(probablymeaninggorgeous,butmisledbyassociationofideas);

\'as\'llreachrightdownyourpintofview,andtaketimetogobyyou。HowcanIgetthatreading,Wegg?By,\'tappinghimonthebreastwiththeheadofhisthickstick,\'payingamantrulyqualifiedtodoit,somuchanhour(saytwopence)tocomeanddoit。\'

\'Hem!Flattered,sir,Iamsure,\'saidWegg,beginningtoregardhimselfinquiteanewlight。\'Hew!Thisistheofferyoumentioned,sir?\'

\'Yes。Doyoulikeit?\'

\'Iamconsideringofit,MrBoffin。\'

\'Idon\'t,\'saidBoffin,inafree-handedmanner,\'wanttotiealiteraryman——WITHawoodenleg——downtootight。Ahalfpennyanhourshan\'tpartus。Thehoursareyourowntochoose,afteryou\'vedoneforthedaywithyourhousehere。IliveoverMaiden-Laneway——

outHollowaydirection——andyou\'veonlygottogoEast-and-by-

Northwhenyou\'vefinishedhere,andyou\'rethere。Twopencehalfpennyanhour,\'saidBoffin,takingapieceofchalkfromhispocketandgettingoffthestooltoworkthesumonthetopofitinhisownway;\'twolong\'unsandashort\'un——twopencehalfpenny;

twoshort\'unsisalong\'unandtwotwolong\'unsisfourlong\'uns——

makingfivelong\'uns;sixnightsaweekatfivelong\'unsanight,\'

scoringthemalldownseparately,\'andyoumountuptothirtylong\'uns。Around\'un!Halfacrown!\'

Pointingtothisresultasalargeandsatisfactoryone,MrBoffinsmeareditoutwithhismoistenedglove,andsatdownontheremains。

\'Halfacrown,\'saidWegg,meditating。\'Yes。(Itain\'tmuch,sir。)

Halfacrown。\'

\'Perweek,youknow。\'

\'Perweek。Yes。Astotheamountofstrainupontheintellectnow。

Wasyouthinkingatallofpoetry?\'MrWegginquired,musing。

\'Woulditcomedearer?\'MrBoffinasked。

\'Itwouldcomedearer,\'MrWeggreturned。\'Forwhenapersoncomestogrindoffpoetrynightafternight,itisbutrightheshouldexpecttobepaidforitsweakeningeffectonhismind。\'

\'TotellyouthetruthWegg,\'saidBoffin,\'Iwasn\'tthinkingofpoetry,exceptinsofurasthis:——IfyouwastohappennowandthentofeelyourselfinthemindtotipmeandMrsBoffinoneofyourballads,whythenweshoulddropintopoetry。\'

\'Ifollowyou,sir,\'saidWegg。\'Butnotbeingaregularmusicalprofessional,Ishouldbeloathtoengagemyselfforthat;andthereforewhenIdroppedintopoetry,Ishouldasktobeconsideredsofur,inthelightofafriend。\'

Atthis,MrBoffin\'seyessparkled,andheshookSilasearnestlybythehand:protestingthatitwasmorethanhecouldhaveasked,andthathetookitverykindlyindeed。

\'Whatdoyouthinkoftheterms,Wegg?\'MrBoffinthendemanded,withunconcealedanxiety。

Silas,whohadstimulatedthisanxietybyhishardreserveofmanner,andwhohadbeguntounderstandhismanverywell,repliedwithanair;asifheweresayingsomethingextraordinarilygenerousandgreat:

\'MrBoffin,Ineverbargain。\'

\'SoIshouldhavethoughtofyou!\'saidMrBoffin,admiringly。\'No,sir。Ineverdid\'aggleandIneverwill\'aggle。ConsequentlyImeetyouatonce,freeandfair,with——Done,fordoublethemoney!\'

MrBoffinseemedalittleunpreparedforthisconclusion,butassented,withtheremark,\'YouknowbetterwhatitoughttobethanIdo,Wegg,\'andagainshookhandswithhimuponit。

\'Couldyoubegintonight,Wegg?\'hethendemanded。

\'Yes,sir,\'saidMrWegg,carefultoleavealltheeagernesstohim。

\'Iseenodifficultyifyouwishit。Youareprovidedwiththeneedfulimplement——abook,sir?\'

\'Boughthimatasale,\'saidMrBoffin。\'Eightwollumes。Redandgold。Purpleribbonineverywollume,tokeeptheplacewhereyouleaveoff。Doyouknowhim?\'

\'Thebook\'sname,sir?\'inquiredSilas。

\'Ithoughtyoumighthaveknow\'dhimwithoutit,\'saidMrBoffinslightlydisappointed。\'HisnameisDecline-And-Fall-Off-The-

Rooshan-Empire。\'(MrBoffinwentoverthesestonesslowlyandwithmuchcaution。)

\'Ayindeed!\'saidMrWegg,noddinghisheadwithanairoffriendlyrecognition。

\'Youknowhim,Wegg?\'

\'Ihaven\'tbeennottosayrightslapthroughhim,verylately,\'MrWeggmadeanswer,\'havingbeenotherwaysemployed,MrBoffin。

Butknowhim?OldfamiliardecliningandfallingofftheRooshan?Rather,sir!EversinceIwasnotsohighasyourstick。

Eversincemyeldestbrotherleftourcottagetoenlistintothearmy。

Onwhichoccasion,astheballadthatwasmadeaboutitdescribes:

\'Besidethatcottagedoor,MrBoffin,Agirlwasonherknees;

Sheheldaloftasnowyscarf,Sir,Which(myeldestbrothernoticed)flutteredinthebreeze。

Shebreathedaprayerforhim,MrBoffin;

Aprayerhecooldnothear。

Andmyeldestbrotherlean\'duponhissword,MrBoffin,Andwipedawayatear。\'

Muchimpressedbythisfamilycircumstance,andalsobythefriendlydispositionofMrWegg,asexemplifiedinhissosoondroppingintopoetry,MrBoffinagainshookhandswiththatligneoussharper,andbesoughthimtonamehishour。MrWeggnamedeight。

\'WhereIlive,\'saidMrBoffin,\'iscalledTheBower。Boffin\'sBoweristhenameMrsBoffinchristeneditwhenwecomeintoitasaproperty。Ifyoushouldmeetwithanybodythatdon\'tknowitbythatname(whichhardlyanybodydoes),whenyou\'vegotnighuponaboutaoddmile,orsayandaquarterifyoulike,upMaidenLane,BattleBridge,askforHarmonyJail,andyou\'llbeputright。

Ishallexpectyou,Wegg,\'saidMrBoffin,clappinghimontheshoulderwiththegreatestenthusiasm,\'mostjoyfully。Ishallhavenopeaceorpatiencetillyoucome。Printisnowopeningaheadofme。Thisnight,aliteraryman——WITHawoodenleg——\'hebestowedanadmiringlookuponthatdecoration,asifitgreatlyenhancedtherelishofMrWegg\'sattainments——\'willbegintoleadmeanewlife!Myfistagain,Wegg。Morning,morning,morning!\'

Leftaloneathisstallastheotherambledoff,MrWeggsubsidedintohisscreen,producedasmallpocket-handkerchiefofapenitentially-scrubbingcharacter,andtookhimselfbythenosewithathoughtfulaspect。Also,whilehestillgraspedthatfeature,hedirectedseveralthoughtfullooksdownthestreet,aftertheretiringfigureofMrBoffin。But,profoundgravitysatenthronedonWegg\'scountenance。For,whileheconsideredwithinhimselfthatthiswasanoldfellowofraresimplicity,thatthiswasanopportunitytobeimproved,andthatheremighthemoneytobegotbeyondpresentcalculation,stillhecompromisedhimselfbynoadmissionthathisnewengagementwasatalloutofhisway,orinvolvedtheleastelementoftheridiculous。MrWeggwouldevenhavepickedahandsomequarrelwithanyonewhoshouldhavechallengedhisdeepacquaintancewiththoseaforesaideightvolumesofDeclineandFall。Hisgravitywasunusual,portentous,andimmeasurable,notbecauseheadmittedanydoubtofhimselfbutbecauseheperceiveditnecessarytoforestallanydoubtofhimselfinothers。Andhereinherangedwiththatverynumerousclassofimpostors,whoarequiteasdeterminedtokeepupappearancestothemselves,astotheirneighbours。

Acertainloftiness,likewise,tookpossessionofMrWegg;acondescendingsenseofbeinginrequestasanofficialexpounderofmysteries。Itdidnotmovehimtocommercialgreatness,butrathertolittleness,insomuchthatifithadbeenwithinthepossibilitiesofthingsforthewoodenmeasuretoholdfewernutsthanusual,itwouldhavedonesothatday。But,whennightcame,andwithherveiledeyesbeheldhimstumpingtowardsBoffin\'sBower,hewaselatedtoo。

TheBowerwasasdifficulttofind,asFairRosamond\'swithouttheclue。MrWegg,havingreachedthequarterindicated,inquiredfortheBowerhalfadozentimeswithouttheleastsuccess,untilherememberedtoaskforHarmonyJail。Thisoccasionedaquickchangeinthespiritsofahoarsegentlemanandadonkey,whomhehadmuchperplexed。

\'Why,yermeanOldHarmon\'s,doyer?\'saidthehoarsegentleman,whowasdrivinghisdonkeyinatruck,withacarrotforawhip。

\'Whydidn\'tyerniversayso?Eddardandmeisagoin\'byHIM!

Jumpin。\'

MrWeggcomplied,andthehoarsegentlemaninvitedhisattentiontothethirdpersonincompany,thus;

\'Now,youlookatEddard\'sears。Whatwasitasyounamed,agin?

Whisper。\'

MrWeggwhispered,\'Boffin\'sBower。\'

\'Eddard!(keepyerhionhisears)cutawaytoBoffin\'sBower!\'

Edward,withhisearslyingback,remainedimmoveable。

\'Eddard!(keepyerhionhisears)cutawaytoOldHarmon\'s。\'

Edwardinstantlyprickeduphisearstotheirutmost,andrattledoffatsuchapacethatMrWegg\'sconversationwasjoltedoutofhiminamostdislocatedstate。

\'Was-it-Ev-verajail?\'askedMrWegg,holdingon。

\'Notaproperjail,wotyouandmewouldgetcommittedto,\'

returnedhisescort;\'theygiv\'itthename,onaccountsofOldHarmonlivingsolitarythere。\'

\'And-why-did-they-callitharm-Ony?\'askedWegg。

\'Onaccountsofhisneveragreeingwithnobody。Likeaspeechesofchaff。Harmon\'sJail;HarmonyJail。Workingitroundlike。\'

\'Doyouknow-Mist-Erboff-in?\'askedWegg。

\'Ishouldthinkso!Everybodydoabouthere。Eddardknowshim。

(Keepyerhionhisears。)NoddyBoffin,Eddard!\'

Theeffectofthenamewassoveryalarming,inrespectofcausingatemporarydisappearanceofEdward\'shead,castinghishindhoofsintheair,greatlyacceleratingthepaceandincreasingthejolting,thatMrWeggwasfaintodevotehisattentionexclusivelytoholdingon,andtorelinquishhisdesireofascertainingwhetherthishomagetoBoffinwastobeconsideredcomplimentaryorthereverse。

Presently,Edwardstoppedatagateway,andWeggdiscreetlylostnotimeinslippingoutatthebackofthetruck。Themomenthewaslanded,hislatedriverwithawaveofthecarrot,said\'Supper,Eddard!\'andhe,thehindhoofs,thetruck,andEdward,allseemedtoflyintotheairtogether,inakindofapotheosis。

Pushingthegate,whichstoodajar,Wegglookedintoanenclosedspacewherecertaintalldarkmoundsrosehighagainstthesky,andwherethepathwaytotheBowerwasindicated,asthemoonlightshowed,betweentwolinesofbrokencrockerysetinashes。Awhitefigureadvancingalongthispath,provedtobenothingmoreghostlythanMrBoffin,easilyattiredforthepursuitofknowledge,inanundressgarmentofshortwhitesmock-frock。

Havingreceivedhisliteraryfriendwithgreatcordiality,heconductedhimtotheinterioroftheBowerandtherepresentedhimtoMrsBoffin:——astoutladyofarubicundandcheerfulaspect,dressed(toMrWegg\'sconsternation)inalowevening-dressofsablesatin,andalargeblackvelvethatandfeathers。

\'MrsBoffin,Wegg,\'saidBoffin,\'isahighflyeratFashion。Andhermakeissuch,thatshedoesitcredit。AstomyselfIain\'tyetasFash\'nableasImaycometobe。Henerietty,oldlady,thisisthegentlemanthat\'sagoingtodeclineandfallofftheRooshanEmpire。\'

\'AndIamsureIhopeit\'lldoyoubothgood,\'saidMrsBoffin。

Itwasthequeerestofrooms,fittedandfurnishedmorelikealuxuriousamateurtap-roomthananythingelsewithinthekenofSilasWegg。Thereweretwowoodensettlesbythefire,oneoneithersideofit,withacorrespondingtablebeforeeach。Ononeofthesetables,theeightvolumeswererangedflat,inarow,likeagalvanicbattery;ontheother,certainsquatcase-bottlesofinvitingappearanceseemedtostandontiptoetoexchangeglanceswithMrWeggoverafrontrowoftumblersandabasinofwhitesugar。Onthehob,akettlesteamed;onthehearth,acatreposed。Facingthefirebetweenthesettles,asofa,afootstool,andalittletable,formedacentrepiecedevotedtoMrsBoffin。Theyweregarishintasteandcolour,butwereexpensivearticlesofdrawing-roomfurniturethathadaveryoddlookbesidethesettlesandtheflaringgaslightpendentfromtheceiling。Therewasaflowerycarpetonthefloor;but,insteadofreachingtothefireside,itsglowingvegetationstoppedshortatMrsBoffin\'sfootstool,andgaveplacetoaregionofsandandsawdust。MrWeggalsonoticed,withadmiringeyes,that,whiletheflowerylanddisplayedsuchhollowornamentationasstuffedbirdsandwaxenfruitsunderglass-

shades,therewere,intheterritorywherevegetationceased,compensatoryshelvesonwhichthebestpartofalargepieandlikewiseofacoldjointwereplainlydiscernibleamongothersolids。Theroomitselfwaslarge,thoughlow;andtheheavyframesofitsold-fashionedwindows,andtheheavybeamsinitscrookedceiling,seemedtoindicatethatithadoncebeenahouseofsomemarkstandingaloneinthecountry。

\'Doyoulikeit,Wegg?\'askedMrBoffin,inhispouncingmanner。

\'Iadmireitgreatly,sir,\'saidWegg。\'Peculiarcomfortatthisfireside,sir。\'

\'Doyouunderstandit,Wegg?\'

\'Why,inageneralway,sir,\'MrWeggwasbeginningslowlyandknowingly,withhisheadstuckononeside,asevasivepeopledobegin,whentheothercuthimshort:

\'YouDON\'Tunderstandit,Wegg,andI\'llexplainit。ThesearrangementsismadebymutualconsentbetweenMrsBoffinandme。MrsBoffin,asI\'vementioned,isahighflyeratFashion;atpresentI\'mnot。Idon\'tgohigherthancomfort,andcomfortofthesortthatI\'mequaltotheenjoymentof。Wellthen。WherewouldbethegoodofMrsBoffinandmequarrellingoverit?Weneverdidquarrel,beforewecomeintoBoffin\'sBowerasaproperty;whyquarrelwhenweHAVEcomeintoBoffin\'sBowerasaproperty?

SoMrsBoffin,shekeepsupherpartoftheroom,inherway;I

keepupmypartoftheroominmine。Inconsequenceofwhichwehaveatonce,Sociability(IshouldgomelancholymadwithoutMrsBoffin),Fashion,andComfort。IfIgetbydegreestobeahigher-

flyeratFashion,thenMrsBoffinwillbydegreescomefor\'arder。IfMrsBoffinshouldeverbelessofadabatFashionthansheisatthepresenttime,thenMrsBoffin\'scarpetwouldgoback\'arder。Ifweshouldbothcontinnyasweare,whythenHEREweare,andgiveusakiss,oldlady。\'

MrsBoffinwho,perpetuallysmiling,hadapproachedanddrawnherplumparmthroughherlord\'s,mostwillinglycomplied。

Fashion,intheformofherblackvelvethatandfeathers,triedtopreventit;butgotdeservedlycrushedintheendeavour。

\'Sonow,Wegg,\'saidMrBoffin,wipinghismouthwithanairofmuchrefreshment,\'youbegintoknowusasweare。Thisisacharmingspot,istheBower,butyoumustgettoapprechiateitbydegrees。It\'saspottofindoutthemeritsof;littlebylittle,andanew\'uneveryday。There\'saserpentiningwalkupeachofthemounds,thatgivesyoutheyardandneighbourhoodchangingeverymoment。Whenyougettothetop,there\'saviewoftheneighbouringpremises,nottobesurpassed。ThepremisesofMrsBoffin\'slatefather(CanineProvisionTrade),youlookdowninto,asiftheywasyourown。AndthetopoftheHighMoundiscrownedwithalattice-workArbour,inwhich,ifyoudon\'treadoutloudmanyabookinthesummer,ay,andasafriend,dropmanyatimeintopoetrytoo,itshan\'tbemyfault。Now,what\'llyoureadon?\'

\'Thankyou,sir,\'returnedWegg,asiftherewerenothingnewinhisreadingatall。\'Igenerallydoitonginandwater。\'

\'Keepstheorganmoist,doesit,Wegg?\'askedMrBoffin,withinnocenteagerness。

\'N-no,sir,\'repliedWegg,coolly,\'Ishouldhardlydescribeitso,sir。

Ishouldsay,mellersit。Mellersit,isthewordIshouldemploy,MrBoffin。\'

Hiswoodenconceitandcraftkeptexactpacewiththedelightedexpectationofhisvictim。Thevisionsrisingbeforehismercenarymind,ofthemanywaysinwhichthisconnexionwastobeturnedtoaccount,neverobscuredtheforemostideanaturaltoadulloverreachingman,thathemustnotmakehimselftoocheap。

MrsBoffin\'sFashion,asalessinexorabledeitythantheidolusuallyworshippedunderthatname,didnotforbidhermixingforherliteraryguest,oraskingifhefoundtheresulttohisliking。Onhisreturningagraciousanswerandtakinghisplaceattheliterarysettle,MrBoffinbegantocomposehimselfasalistener,attheoppositesettle,withexultanteyes。

\'Sorrytodepriveyouofapipe,Wegg,\'hesaid,fillinghisown,\'butyoucan\'tdobothtogether。Oh!andanotherthingIforgottoname!

Whenyoucomeinhereofanevening,andlookroundyou,andnoticeanythingonashelfthathappenstocatchyourfancy,mentionit。\'

Wegg,whohadbeengoingtoputonhisspectacles,immediatelylaidthemdown,withthesprightlyobservation:

\'Youreadmythoughts,sir。DOmyeyesdeceiveme,oristhatobjectuptherea——apie?Itcan\'tbeapie。\'

\'Yes,it\'sapie,Wegg,\'repliedMrBoffin,withaglanceofsomelittlediscomfitureattheDeclineandFall。

\'HAVEIlostmysmellforfruits,orisitaapplepie,sir?\'askedWegg。

\'It\'savealandhampie,\'saidMrBoffin。

\'Isitindeed,sir?Anditwouldbehard,sir,tonamethepiethatisabetterpiethanawealandhammer,\'saidMrWegg,noddinghisheademotionally。

\'Havesome,Wegg?\'

\'Thankyou,MrBoffin,IthinkIwill,atyourinvitation。Iwouldn\'tatanyotherparty\'s,atthepresentjuncture;butatyours,sir!——Andmeatyjellytoo,especiallywhenalittlesalt,whichisthecasewherethere\'sham,ismelleringtotheorgan,isverymelleringtotheorgan。\'MrWeggdidnotsaywhatorgan,butspokewithacheerfulgenerality。

So,thepiewasbroughtdown,andtheworthyMrBoffinexercisedhispatienceuntilWegg,intheexerciseofhisknifeandfork,hadfinishedthedish:onlyprofitingbytheopportunitytoinformWeggthatalthoughitwasnotstrictlyFashionabletokeepthecontentsofalarderthusexposedtoview,he(MrBoffin)consideredithospitable;forthereason,thatinsteadofsaying,inacomparativelyunmeaningmanner,toavisitor,\'Therearesuchandsuchediblesdownstairs;willyouhaveanythingup?\'youtooktheboldpracticalcourseofsaying,\'Castyoureyealongtheshelves,and,ifyouseeanythingyoulikethere,haveitdown。\'

Andnow,MrWeggatlengthpushedawayhisplateandputonhisspectacles,andMrBoffinlightedhispipeandlookedwithbeamingeyesintotheopeningworldbeforehim,andMrsBoffinreclinedinafashionablemanneronhersofa:asonewhowouldbepartoftheaudienceifshefoundshecould,andwouldgotosleepifshefoundshecouldn\'t。

\'Hem!\'beganWegg,\'This,MrBoffinandLady,isthefirstchapterofthefirstwollumeoftheDeclineandFalloff——\'herehelookedhardatthebook,andstopped。

\'What\'sthematter,Wegg?\'

\'Why,itcomesintomymind,doyouknow,sir,\'saidWeggwithanairofinsinuatingfrankness(havingfirstagainlookedhardatthebook),\'thatyoumadealittlemistakethismorning,whichIhadmeanttosetyourightin,onlysomethingputitoutofmyhead。I

thinkyousaidRooshanEmpire,sir?\'

\'ItisRooshan;ain\'tit,Wegg?\'

\'No,sir。Roman。Roman。\'

\'What\'sthedifference,Wegg?\'

\'Thedifference,sir?\'MrWeggwasfalteringandindangerofbreakingdown,whenabrightthoughtflasheduponhim。\'Thedifference,sir?Thereyouplacemeinadifficulty,MrBoffin。

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