第31章

contemptuousnames，buttheirgreatpeoplealso。Theydidn’tcallyouthematchlessHurler，because，bydoingso，theywouldhavepaidyouacompliment，butHullovertheHeadJack，asmuchastosaythatafterallyouwereascrub；so，inancienttime，insteadofcallingRegnerthegreatconqueror，theNationTamer，theysurnamedhimLodbrog，whichsignifiesRoughorHairyBreeks—lodorloddinsignifyingroughorhairy；andinsteadofcomplimentingHalgerdr，thewifeofGunnarofHlitharend，thegreatchampionofIceland，uponhermajesticpresence，bycallingherHalgerdr，thestatelyortall；whatmusttheydobuttermherHa—brokr，orHighbreeks，itbeingthefashioninoldtimesforNorthernladiestowearbreeks，orbreeches，whichEnglishladiesofthepresentdayneverthinkofdoing；andjust，asofold，theycalledHalgerdrLong—breeks，sothisverydayafellowofHorncastlecalled，inmyhearing，ournoble—lookingHungarianfriendhere，Long—

stockings。Oh，Icouldgiveyouahundredinstances，bothancientandmodern，ofthisunseemlypropensityofourillustriousrace，thoughIwillonlytroubleyouwithafewmoreancientones；theynotonlynicknamedRegner，buthissonsalso，whowereallkings，anddistinguishedmen：one，whosenamewasBiorn，theynicknamedIronsides；another，Sigurd，SnakeintheEye；another，WhiteSark，orWhiteShirt—IwondertheydidnotcallhimDirtyShirt；andIvarr，another，whowaskingofNorthumberland，theycalledBienlausi，ortheLegless，becausehewasspindle—shanked，hadnosapinhisbones，andconsequentlynochildren。Hewasagreatking，itistrue，andverywise，neverthelesshisblackguardcountrymen，alwaysaverse，astheirdescendantsare，togivecredittoanybody，foranyvaluablequalityorpossession，mustneedslayhold，doyousee—"

ButbeforeIcouldsayanymore，thejockey，havinglaiddownhispipe，rose，andhavingtakenoffhiscoat，advancedtowardsme。

CHAPTERXLII

AShort—temperedPerson—Gravitation—TheBestEndowment—

MaryFulcher—FairDealing—Horse—witchery—DariusandhisGroom—TheJockey’sTricks—TheTwoCharacters—TheJockey’sSong。

THEjockey，havingtakenoffhiscoatandadvancedtowardsme，asIhavestatedintheprecedingchapter，exclaimed，inanangrytone，"Thisisthethirdtimeyouhaveinterruptedmeinmytale，Mr。Rye；Ipassedoverthetwofirsttimeswithasimplewarning，butyouwillnowpleasetogetupandgivemethesatisfactionofaman。"

"Iamreallysorry，"saidI，"ifIhavegivenyouoffence，butyouweretalkingofourEnglishhabitsofbestowingnicknames，andIcouldnotrefrainfromgivingafewexamplestendingtoprovewhataveryancienthabititis。"

"Butyouinterruptedme，"saidthejockey，"andputmeoutofmytale，whichyouhadnorighttodo；andasforyourexamples，howdoyouknowthatIwasn’tgoingtogivesomeasoldorolderthanyourn？Nowstandup，andI’llmakeanexampleofyou。"

"Well，"saidI，"Iconfessitwaswronginmetointerruptyou，andIaskyourpardon。"

"Thatwon’tdo，"saidthejockey，"askingpardonwon’tdo。"

"Oh，"saidI，gettingup，"ifaskingpardondoesnotsatisfyyou，youareadifferentmanfromwhatIconsideredyou。"

ButheretheHungarian，alsogettingup，interposedhistallformandpipebetweenus，sayinginEnglish，scarcelyintelligible，"Lettherebenodispute！Asformyself，IamverymuchobligedtotheyoungmanofHorncastleforhisinterruption，thoughhehastoldmethatoneofhisdirtytownsmencalledme’Long—stocking。’ByIsten！thereismorelearninginwhathehasjustsaidthaninalltheverdammtEnglishhistoriesofThorandTzernebockIeverread。"

"Icarenothingforhislearning，"saidthejockey。"I

considermyselfasgoodamanashe，forallhislearning；sostandoutoftheway，Mr。Sixfooteleven，or—"

"Ishalldonosuchthing，"saidtheHungarian。"Iwonderyouarenotashamedofyourself。Youaskayoungmantodrinkchampagnewithyou，youmakehimdronk，heinterruptyouwithverygoodsense；heaskyourpardon，yetyounot—"

"Well，"saidthejockey，"Iamsatisfied。Iamratherashort—temperedperson，butIbearnomalice。Heis，asyousay，drinkingmywine，andhasperhapstakenadroptoomuch，notbeingusedtosuchhighliquor；butonedoesn’tliketobeputoutofone’stale，moreespeciallywhenonewasabouttomoralize，doyousee，oneself，andtoshowoffwhatlittlelearningonehas。However，Ibearsnomalice。Hereisahandtoeachofyou；we’lltakeanotherglasseach，andthinknomoreaboutit。"

Thejockeyhavingshakenbothofourhands，andfilledourglassesandhisownwithwhatchampagneremainedinthebottle，putonhiscoat，satdown，andresumedhispipeandstory。

"WherewasI？Oh，roamingaboutthecountrywithHoppingNedandBitingGiles。Thosewerehappydays，andamerryandprosperouslifeweled。However，nothingcontinuesunderthesuninthesamestateinwhichitbegins，andourfirmwassoondestinedtoundergoachange。Wecametoavillagewheretherewasaveryhighchurchsteeple，andinalittletimemycomradesinducedacrowdofpeopletogoandseemedisplaymygiftbyflingingstonesabovetheheadsofMatthew，Mark，LukeandJohn，whostoodatthefourcornersonthetop，carvedinstone。Theparson，seeingthecrowd，camewaddlingoutofhisrectorytoseewhatwasgoingon。

AfterIhadflungupthestones，lettingthemfalljustwhereIliked—andone，Iremember，fellontheheadofMark，whereIdaresayitremainstothepresentday—theparson，whowasoneofthedescriptionofpeoplecalledphilosophers，helduphishand，andaskedmetoletthenextstoneIflungupfalluponit。Hewished，doyousee，toknowwithwhatweightthestonewouldfalldown，andtalkedsomethingaboutgravitation—awordwhichIcouldneverunderstandtothepresentday，savethatitturnedoutagravemattertome。

I，likeasillyfellowmyself，mustneedsconsent，and，flingingthestoneuptoavastheight，contrivedsothatitfellintotheparson’shand，whichitcutdreadfully。Theparsonflewintoagreatrage，moreparticularlyaseverybodylaughedathim，and，beingamagistrate，orderedhisclerk，whowaslikewiseconstable，toconductmetoprisonasarogueandvagabond，tellingmycomradesthatiftheydidnottakethemselvesoff，hewouldservetheminthesamemanner。

SoNedhoppedoff，andGilesranafterhim，withoutmakinganygathering，andIwasledtoBridewell，mymittimusfollowingattheendofaweek，theparson’shandnotpermittinghimtowritebeforethattime。IntheBridewellI

remainedamonth，when，beingdismissed，Iwentinquestofmycompanions，whom，aftersometime，Ifoundup，buttheyrefusedtokeepmycompanyanylonger；tellingmethatIwasadangerouscharacter，likelytobringthemmoretroublethanprofit；theyhad，moreover，filledupmyplace。Goingintoacottagetoaskforadrinkofwater，theysawacountryfellowmakingfacestoamusehischildren；thefacesweresowonderfulthatHoppingNedandBitingGilesatonceproposedtakinghimintopartnership，andtheman—whowasafellownotveryfondofwork—afteralittleentreaty，wentawaywiththem。Isawhimexhibithisgift，andcouldn’tblametheothersforpreferringhimtome；hewasaproperuglyfellowatalltimes，butwhenhemadefaceshiscountenancewaslikenothinghuman。HewascalledUglyMoses。Iwassoamazedathisfaces，thatthoughpoormyselfIgavehimsixpence，whichIhavenevergrudgedtothisday，forIneversawanythinglikethem。Thefirmthrovewonderfullyafterhehadbeenadmittedintoit。Hediedsomelittletimeago，keeperofapublic—house，whichhehadbeenenabledtotakefromtheprofitsofhisfaces。Asonofhis，oneofthechildrenhewasmakingfacestowhenmycomradesenteredhisdoor，isatpresentabarrister，andaveryrisingone。Hehashisgift—hehasnot，itistrue，thegiftofthegab，buthehassomethingbetter，hewasbornwithagrinonhisface，aquietgrin；hewouldnothavedonetogrinthroughacollarlikehisfather，andwouldneverhavebeentakenupbyHoppingNedandBitingGiles，butthatgrinofhiscausedhimtobenoticedbyamuchgreaterpersonthaneither；anattorneyobservingittookalikingtothelad，andprophesiedthathewouldsomedaybeheard