下载辰思小说免费APP
CHAPTERXXXIV
TheOldMan’sStorycontinued—MiseryintheHead—TheStrangeMarks—Tea—dealerfromLondon—DifficultiesoftheChineseLanguage。
AFTERanotherpausetheoldmanoncemoreresumedhisnarration：—"Ifevertherewasamanperfectlymiserableitwasmyself，afterthelossofthatcherishedwoman。Isatsolitaryinthehouse，inwhichIhadhopedinhercompanytorealizethechoicestearthlyhappiness，apreytothebitterestreflections；manypeoplevisited，andendeavouredtoconsoleme—amongstthemwastheclergymanoftheparish，whobeggedmetoberesigned，andtoldmethatitwasgoodtobeafflicted。Ibowedmyhead，butIcouldnothelpthinkinghoweasyitmustbeforthosewhofeelnoaffliction，tobidotherstoberesigned，andtotalkofthebenefitresultingfromsorrow；perhapsIshouldhavepaidmoreattentiontohisdiscoursethanIdid，providedhehadbeenapersonforwhomitwaspossibletoentertainmuchrespect，buthisownheartwasknowntobesetonthethingsofthisworld。
"Withinalittletimehehadanopportunity，inhisowncase，ofpractisingresignation，andofrealizingthebenefitofbeingafflicted。Amerchant，towhomhehadentrustedallhisfortune，inthehopeofalargeinterest，becamesuddenlyabankrupt，withscarcelyanyassets。Iwillnotsaythatitwasowingtothismisfortunethatthedivinediedinlessthanamonthafteritsoccurrence，butsuchwasthefact。
Amongstthosewhomostfrequentlyvisitedmewasmyfriendthesurgeon；hedidnotconfinehimselftothecommontopicsofconsolation，butendeavouredtoimpressuponmethenecessityofrousingmyself，advisingmetooccupymymindwithsomepursuit，particularlyrecommendingagriculture；butagriculturepossessednointerestforme，nor，indeed，anypursuitwithinmyreach；myhopesofhappinesshadbeenblighted，andwhatcaredIforanything？soatlasthethoughtitbesttoleavemetomyself，hopingthattimewouldbringwithitconsolation；andIremainedsolitaryinmyhouse，waiteduponbyamaleandafemaleservant。Oh，whatdrearymomentsIpassed！Myonlyamusement—anditwasasadone—wastolookatthethingswhichoncebelongedtomybeloved，andwhichwerenewinmypossession。Oh，howfondlywouldIdwelluponthem！Thereweresomebooks；Icarednotforbooks，butthesehadbelongedtomybeloved。Oh，howfondlydidIdwellonthem！Thentherewasherhatandbonnet—oh，me，howfondlydidIgazeuponthem！andafterlookingatherthingsforhours，IwouldsitandruminateonthehappinessIhadlost。HowIexecratedthemomentIhadgonetothefairtosellhorses！’WouldthatIhadneverbeentoHorncastletosellhorses！’Iwouldsay；’Imightatthismomenthavebeenenjoyingthecompanyofmybeloved，leadingahappy，quiet，easylife，butforthatfatalexpedition；’thatthoughtworkedonmybrain，tillmybrainseemedtoturnround。
"OnedayIsatatthebreakfast—tablegazingvacantlyaroundme，mymindwasinastateofinexpressiblemisery；therewasawhirlinmybrain，probablylikethatwhichpeoplefeelwhoarerapidlygoingmad；thisincreasedtosuchadegreethatI
feltgiddinesscominguponme。ToabatethisfeelingInolongerpermittedmyeyestowanderabout，butfixedthemuponanobjectonthetable，andcontinuedgazingatitforseveralminuteswithoutknowingwhatitwas；atlength，themiseryinmyheadwassomewhatstilled，mylipsmoved，andI
heardmyselfsaying，’Whatoddmarks！’Ihadfastenedmyeyesonthesideofateapot，andbykeepingthemfixeduponit，hadbecomeawareofafactthathadescapedmynoticebefore—namely，thatthereweremarksuponit。Ikeptmyeyesfixeduponthem，andrepeatedatintervals，’Whatstrangemarks！’—forIthoughtthatlookinguponthemarkstendedtoabatethewhirlinmyhead：Ikepttracingthemarksoneaftertheother，andIobservedthatthoughtheyallboreageneralresemblancetoeachother，theywerealltoacertainextentdifferent。Thesmallestportionpossibleofcuriousinteresthadbeenawakenedwithinme，and，atlast，Iaskedmyself，withinmyownmind，’Whatmotivecouldinducepeopletoputsuchoddmarksontheircrockery？theywerenotpictures，theywerenotletters；whatmotivecouldpeoplehaveforputtingthemthere？’AtlastIremovedmyeyesfromtheteapot，andthoughtforafewmomentsaboutthemarks；presently，however，Ifeltthewhirlreturning；themarksbecamealmosteffacedfrommymind，andIwasbeginningtoreverttomymiserableruminations，whensuddenlymethoughtIheardavoicesay，’Themarks！themarks！clingtothemarks？or—’SoIfixedmyeyesagainuponthemarks，inspectingthemmoreattentively，ifpossible，thanIhaddonebefore，and，atlast，Icametotheconclusionthattheywerenotcapriciousorfancifulmarks，butwerearrangedsystematically；whenIhadgazedatthemforaconsiderabletime，Iturnedtheteapotround，andontheothersideI
observedmarksofasimilarkind，whichIsoondiscoveredwereidenticalwiththeonesIhadbeenobserving。Allthemarksweresomethingalike，butallsomewhatdifferent，andoncomparingthemwitheachother，Iwasstruckwiththefrequentoccurrenceofamarkcrossinganuprightline，orprojectingfromit，nowontheright，nowontheleftside；
andIsaidtomyself，’Whydoesthismarksometimescrosstheuprightline，andsometimesproject？’andthemoreIthoughtonthematter，thelessdidIfeelofthemiseryinmyhead。
"Thethingswereatlengthremoved，andIsat，asIhadforsometimepastbeenwonttositaftermymeals，silentandmotionless；butinthepresentinstancemymindwasnotentirelyabandonedtotheonemournfulideawhichhadsolongdistressedit。Itwas，toacertainextent，occupiedwiththemarksontheteapot；itistruethatthemournfulideastrovehardwiththemarksontheteapotforthemasteryinmymind，andatlastthepainfulideadrovethemarksoftheteapotout；they，however，wouldoccasionallyreturnandflitacrossmymindforamomentortwo，andtheircomingwaslikeamomentaryrelieffromintensepain。IthoughtonceortwicethatIwouldhavetheteapotplacedbeforeme，thatI
mightexaminethemarksatleisure，butIconsideredthatitwouldbeaswelltodeferthere—examinationofthemarkstillthenextmorning；atthattimeIdidnottaketeaofanevening。Bydeferringtheexaminationthus，Ihadsomethingtolookforwardtoonthenextmorning。Thedaywasamelancholyone，butitcertainlywasmoretolerabletomethananyoftheothershadbeensincethedeathofmybeloved。AsIlayawakethatnightIoccasionallythoughtofthemarks，andinmysleepmethoughtIsawthemupontheteapotvividlybeforeme。Onthemorrow，Iexaminedthemarksagain；howsingulartheylooked！Surelytheymustmeansomething，andifso，whatcouldtheymean？andatlastI
thoughtwithinmyselfwhetheritwouldbepossibleformetomakeoutwhattheymeant：thatdayIfeltmorereliefthanontheprecedingone，andtowardsnightIwalkedalittleabout。
"Inaboutaweek’stimeIreceivedavisitfrommyfriendthesurgeon；afteralittlediscourse，hetoldmethatheperceivedIwasbetterthanwhenhehadlastseenme，andaskedmewhatIhadbeenabout；ItoldhimthatIhadbeenprincipallyoccupiedinconsideringcertainmarkswhichIhadfoundonateapot，andwonderingwhattheycouldmean；hesmiledatfirst，butinstantlyassumingaseriouslook，heaskedtoseetheteapot。Iproducedit，andafterhavingsurveyedthemarkswithattention，heobservedthattheywerehighlycurious，andalsowonderedwhattheymeant。’I
stronglyadviseyou，’saidhe，’toattempttomakethemout，andalsototakemoderateexercise，andtoseeafteryourconcerns。’Ifollowedhisadvice；everymorningIstudiedthemarksontheteapot，andinthecourseofthedaytookmoderateexercise，andattendedtolittledomesticmatters，asbecamethemasterofahouse。
"Isubsequentlylearnedthatthesurgeon，inadvisingmetostudythemarks，andendeavourtomakeouttheirmeaning，merelyhopedthatbymeansofthemmymindmightbydegreesbedivertedfromthemournfulideaonwhichIhadsolongbrooded。Hewasamanwellskilledinhisprofession，buthadreadandthoughtverylittleonmattersunconnectedwithit。Hehadnoideathatthemarkshadanyparticularsignification，orwereanythingelsebutcommonandfortuitousones。ThatIbecameatallacquaintedwiththeirnaturewasowingtoaludicrouscircumstancewhichIwillnowrelate。
"Oneday，chancingtobeatane
