第10章

Insteadofanswering，Estellaburstoutlaughing。Thiswasverysingulartome，andIlookedatherinconsiderableperplexity。Whensheleftoff-andshehadnotlaughedlanguidly，butwithrealenjoyment-Isaid，inmydiffidentwaywithher:

`IhopeImaysupposethatyouwouldnotbeamusediftheydidmeanyharm。\'

`No，noyoumaybesureofthat，\'saidEstella。`YoumaybecertainthatIlaughbecausetheyfail。Oh，thosepeoplewithMissHavisham，andthetorturestheyundergo！\'Shelaughedagain，andevennowwhenshehadtoldmewhy，herlaughterwasverysingulartome，forIcouldnotdoubtitsbeinggenuine，andyetitseemedtoomuchfortheoccasion。IthoughttheremustreallybesomethingmoreherethanIknew；shesawthethoughtinmymind，andansweredit。

`Itisnoteasyforevenyou。\'saidEstella，`toknowwhatsatisfactionitgivesmetoseethosepeoplethwarted，orwhatanenjoyablesenseoftheridiculousIhavewhentheyaremaderidiculous。Foryouwerenotbroughtupinthatstrangehousefromamerebaby-Iwas。Youhadnotyourlittlewitssharpenedbytheirintriguingagainstyou，suppressedanddefenceless，underthemaskofsympathyandpityandwhatnotthatissoftandsoothing-

Ihad。Youdidnotgraduallyopenyourroundchildisheyeswiderandwidertothediscoveryofthatimpostorofawomanwhocalculatesherstoresofpeaceofmindforwhenshewakesupinthenight-Idid。\'

IwasnolaughingmatterwithEstellanow，norwasshesummoningtheseremembrancesfromanyshallowplace。Iwouldnothavebeenthecauseofthatlookofhers，forallmyexpectationsinaheap。

`TwothingsIcantellyou，\'saidEstella。`First，notwithstandingtheproverbthatconstantdroppingwillwearawayastone，youmaysetyourmindatrestthatthesepeopleneverwill-neverwould，inhundredyears-impairyourgroundwithMissHavisham，inanyparticular，greatorsmall。

Second，Iambeholdentoyouasthecauseoftheirbeingsobusyandsomeaninvain，andthereismyhanduponit。\'

Asshegaveitmeplayfully-forherdarkermoodhadbeenbutmomentary-Ihelditandputittomylips。`Youridiculousboy，\'saidEstella，`willyounevertakewarning？OrdoyoukissmyhandinthesamespiritinwhichIonceletyoukissmycheek？\'

`Whatspiritwasthat？\'saidI。

`ImustthinkamomentAspiritofcontemptforthefawnersandplotters。\'

`IfIsayyes，mayIkissthecheekagain？\'

`Youshouldhaveaskedbeforeyoutouchedthehand。But，yes，ifyoulike。\'

Ileaneddown，andhercalmfacewaslikeastatue\'s。`Now，\'saidEstella，glidingawaytheinstantItouchedhercheek，`youaretotakecarethatIhavesometea，andyouaretotakemetoRichmond。\'

Herrevertingtothistoneasifourassociationwereforceduponusandweweremerepuppets，gavemepain；buteverythinginourintercoursedidgivemepain。Whateverhertonewithmehappenedtobe，Icouldputnotrustinit，andbuildnohopeonit；andyetIwentonagainsttrustandagainsthope。Whyrepeatitathousandtimes？Soitalwayswas。

Irangforthetea，andthewaiter，reappearingwithhismagicclue，broughtinbydegreessomefiftyadjunctstothatrefreshmentbutofteanotaglimpse。Ateaboard，cupsandsaucers，plates，knivesandforks(includingcarvers)，spoons(various)，saltcellars，ameeklittlemuffinconfinedwiththeutmostprecautionunderastrongironcover，Mosesinthebullrushestypifiedbyasoftbitofbutterinaquantityofparsley，apaleloafwithapowderedhead，twoproofimpressionsofthebarsofthekitchenfire-placeontriangularbitsofbread，andultimatelyafatfamilyurn:

whichthewaiterstaggeredinwith，expressinginhiscountenanceburdenandsuffering。Afteraprolongedabsenceatthisstageoftheentertainment，heatlengthcamebackwithacasketofpreciousappearancecontainingtwigs。TheseIsteepedinhotwater，andsofromthewholeoftheseappliancesextractedonecupofIdon\'tknowwhat，forEstella。

Thebillpaid，andthewaiterremembered，andtheostlernotforgotten，andthechambermaidtakenintoconsideration-inaword，thewholehousebribedintoastateofcontemptandanimosity，andEstella\'spursemuchlightened-wegotintoourpost-coachanddroveaway。TurningintoCheapsideandrattlingupNewgate-street，weweresoonunderthewallsofwhichI

wassoashamed。

`Whatplaceisthat？\'Estellaaskedme。

Imadeafoolishpretenceofnotatfirstrecognizingit，andthentoldher。Asshelookedatit，anddrewinherheadagain，murmuring`Wretches！\'

Iwouldnothaveconfessedtomyvisitforanyconsideration。

`MrJaggers，\'saidI，bywayofputtingitneatlyonsomebodyelse，`hasthereputationofbeingmoreinthesecretsofthatdismalplacethananymaninLondon。\'

`Heismoreinthesecretsofeveryplace，Ithink，\'saidEstella，inalowvoice。

`Youhavebeenaccustomedtoseehimoften，Isuppose？\'

`Ihavebeenaccustomedtoseehimatuncertainintervals，eversinceIcanremember。ButIknowhimnobetternow，thatIdidbeforeIcouldspeakplainly。Whatisyourownexperienceofhim？Doyouadvancewithhim？\'

`Oncehabituatedtohisdistrustfulmanner，\'saidI，`Ihavedoneverywell。\'

`Areyouintimate？\'

`Ihavedinedwithhimathisprivatehouse。\'

`Ifancy，\'saidEstella，shrinking`thatmustbeacuriousplace。\'

`Itisacuriousplace。\'

Ishouldhavebeencharyofdiscussingmyguardiantoofreelyevenwithher；butIshouldhavegoneonwiththesubjectsofarastodescribethedinnerinGerrard-street，ifwehadnotthencomeintoasuddenglareofgas。Itseemed，whileitlasted，tobeallalightandalivewiththatinexplicablefeelingIhadhadbefore；andwhenwewereoutofit，IwasasmuchdazedforafewmomentsasifIhadbeeninLightning。

So，wefellintoothertalk，anditwasprincipallyaboutthewaybywhichweweretravelling，andaboutwhatpartsofLondonlayonthissideofit，andwhatonthat。Thegreatcitywasalmostnewtoher，shetoldme，forshehadneverleftMissHavisham\'sneighbourhooduntilshehadgonetoFrance，andshehadmerelypassedthroughLondontheningoingandreturning。Iaskedherifmyguardianhadanychargeofherwhilesheremainedhere？Tothatsheemphaticallysaid`Godforbid！\'andnomore。

Itwasimpossibleformetoavoidseeingthatshecaredtoattractme；

thatshemadeherselfwinning；andwouldhavewonmeevenifthetaskhadneededpains。Yetthismademenonethehappier，for，evenifshehadnottakenthattoneofourbeingdisposedofbyothers，Ishouldhavefeltthatsheheldmyheartinherhandbecauseshewilfullychosetodoit，andnotbecauseitwouldhavewrunganytendernessinher，tocrushitandthrowitaway。

WhenwepassedthroughHammersmith，IshowedherwhereMrMatthewPocketlived，andsaiditwasnogreatwayfromRichmond，andthatIhopedIshouldseehersometimes。

`Ohyes，youareseeme；youaretocomewhenyouthinkproper；youaretobementionedtothefamily；indeedyouarealreadymentioned。\'

Iinquiredwasitalargehouseholdshewasgoingtobeamemberof？

`No；thereareonlytwo；motheranddaughter。Themotherisaladyofsomestation，thoughnotaversetoincreasingherincome。\'

`IwonderMissHavishamcouldpartwithyouagainsosoon。\'

`ItisapartofMissHavisham\'splansforme，Pip，\'saidEstella，withasigh，asifsheweretired；`IamtowritetoherconstantlyandseeherregularlyandreporthowIgoon-Iandthejewels-fortheyarenearlyallminenow。\'

Itwasthefirsttimeshehadevercalledmebymyname。Ofcourseshedidso，purposely，andknewthatIshouldtreasureitup。

WecametoRichmondalltoosoon，andourdestinationthere，wasahousebytheGreen；astaidoldhouse，wherehoopsandpowderandpatches，embroideredcoatsrolledstockingsrufflesandswords，hadhadtheircourtdaysmanyatime。Someancienttreesbeforethehousewerestillcutintofashionsasformalandunnaturalasthehoopsandwigsandstiffskirts；buttheirownallottedplacesinthegreatprocessionofthedeadwerenotfaroff，andtheywouldsoondropintothemandgothesilentwayoftherest。

Abellwithanoldvoice-whichIdaresayinitstimehadoftensaidtothehouse，Hereisthegreenfarthingale，Hereisthediamondhiltedsword，Herearetheshoeswithredheelsandthebluesolitaire，-soundedgravelyinthemoonlight，andtwocherrycolouredmaidscameflutteringouttoreceiveEstella。Thedoorwaysoonabsorbedherboxes，andshegavemeherhandandasmile，andsaidgoodnight，andwasabsorbedlikewise。

AndstillIstoodlookingatthehouse，thinkinghowhappyIshouldbeifIlivedtherewithher，andknowingthatIneverwashappywithher，butalwaysmiserable。

IgotintothecarriagetobetakenbacktoHammersmith，andIgotinwithabadheart-ache，andIgotoutwithaworseheart-ache。Atourowndoor，IfoundlittleJanePocketcominghomefromalittlepartyescortedbyherlittlelover；andIenviedherlittlelover，inspiteofhisbeingsubjecttoFlopson。

MrPocketwasoutlecturing；for，hewasamostdelightfullecturerondomesticeconomy，andhistreatisesonthemanagementofchildrenandservantswereconsideredtheverybesttext-booksonthosethemes。But，MrsPocketwasathome，andwasinalittledifficulty，onaccountofthebaby\'shavingbeenaccommodatedwithaneedle-casetokeephimquietduringtheunaccountableabsence(witharelativeintheFootGuards)ofMillers。

Andmoreneedlesweremissing，thanitcouldberegardedasquitewholesomeforapatientofsuchtenderyearseithertoapplyexternallyortotakeasatonicMrPocketbeingjustlycelebratedforgivingmostexcellentpracticaladvice，andforhavingaclearandsoundperceptionofthingsandahighlyjudiciousmind，Ihadsomenotioninmyheartacheofbegginghimtoacceptmyconfidence。But，happeningtolookupatMrsPocketasshesatreadingherbookofdignitiesafterprescribingBedasasovereignremedyforbaby，Ithought-Well-No，Iwouldn\'t。

Chapter34

ASIhadgrownaccustomedtomyexpectations，Ihadinsensiblybeguntonoticetheireffectuponmyselfandthosearoundme。Theirinfluenceonmyowncharacter，Idisguisedfrommyrecognitionasmuchaspossible，butIknewverywellthatitwasnotallgood。IlivedinastateofchronicuneasinessrespectingmybehaviourtoJoe。MyconsciencewasnotbyanymeanscomfortableaboutBiddy。WhenIwokeupinthenight-likeCamilla-Iusedtothink，withawearinessonmyspirits，thatIshouldhavebeenhappierandbetterifIhadneverseenMissHavisham\'sface，andhadrisentomanhoodcontenttobepartnerswithJoeinthehonestoldforge。Manyatimeofanevening，whenIsatalonelookingatthefire，Ithought，afterall，therewasnofireliketheforgefireandthekitchenfireathome。

YetEstellawassoinseparablefromallmyrestlessnessanddisquietofmind，thatIreallyfellintoconfusionastothelimitsofmyownpartinitsproduction。Thatistosay，supposingIhadhadnoexpectations，andyethadhadEstellatothinkof，IcouldnotmakeouttomysatisfactionthatIshouldhavedonemuchbetter。Now，concerningtheinfluenceofmypositiononothers，Iwasinnosuchdifficulty，andsoIperceived-thoughdimlyenoughperhaps-thatitwasnotbeneficialtoanybody，and，aboveall，thatitwasnotbeneficialtoHerbert。Mylavishhabitsledhiseasynatureintoexpensesthathecouldnotafford，corruptedthesimplicityofhislife，anddisturbedhispeacewithanxietiesandregrets。IwasnotatallremorsefulforhavingunwittinglysetthoseotherbranchesofthePocketfamilytothepoorartstheypractised:becausesuchlittlenessesweretheirnaturalbent，andwouldhavebeenevokedbyanybodyelse，ifIhadleftthemslumbering。ButHerbert\'swasaverydifferentcase，anditoftencausedmeatwingetothinkthatIhaddonehimevilserviceincrowdinghissparely-furnishedchamberswithincongruousupholsterywork，andplacingthecanary-breastedAvengerathisdisposalSonow，asaninfalliblewayofmakinglittleeasegreatease，Ibegantocontractaquantityofdebt。IcouldhardlybeginbutHerbertmustbegintoo，sohesoonfollowed。AtStartop\'ssuggestion，weputourselvesdownforelectionintoaclubcalledTheFinchesoftheGrove:theobjectofwhichinstitutionIhaveneverdivined，ifitwerenotthatthemembersshoulddineexpensivelyonceafortnight，toquarrelamongthemselvesasmuchaspossibleafterdinner，andtocausesixwaiterstogetdrunkonthestairs。IKnowthatthesegratifyingsocialendsweresoinvariablyaccomplished，thatHerbertandIunderstoodnothingelsetobereferredtointhefirststandingtoastofthesociety:whichran`Gentlemen，maythepresentpromotionofgoodfeelingeverreignpredominantamongtheFinchesoftheGrove。\'

TheFinchesspenttheirmoneyfoolishly(theHotelwedinedatwasinCovent-garden)，andthefirstFinchIsaw，whenIhadthehonourofjoiningtheGrove，wasBentleyDrummle:atthattimeflounderingabouttowninacabofhisown，anddoingagreatdealofdamagetothepostsatthestreetcorners。Occasionally，heshothimselfoutofhisequipagehead-foremostovertheapron；andIsawhimononeoccasiondeliverhimselfatthedooroftheGroveinthisunintentionalway-likecoals。ButhereIanticipatealittleforIwasnotaFinch，andcouldnotbe，accordingtothesacredlawsofthesociety，untilIcameofage。

Inmyconfidenceinmyownresources，IwouldwillinglyhavetakenHerbert\'sexpensesonmyself；butHerbertwasproud，andIcouldmakenosuchproposaltohim。So，hegotintodifficultiesineverydirection，andcontinuedtolookabouthim。Whenwegraduallyfellintokeepinglatehoursandlatecompany，Inoticedthathelookedabouthimwithadespondingeyeatbreakfast-time；

thathebegantolookabouthimmorehopefullyaboutmid-day；thathedroopedwhenhecameintodinner；thatheseemedtodescryCapitalinthedistanceratherclearly，afterdinner；thatheallbutrealizedCapitaltowardsmidnight；andthatatabouttwoo\'clockinthemorning，hebecamesodeeplydespondentagainastotalkofbuyingarifleandgoingtoAmerica，withageneralpurposeofcompellingbuffaloestomakehisfortune。

IwasusuallyatHammersmithabouthalftheweek，andwhenIwasatHammersmithIhauntedRichmond:whereofseparatelyby-and-by。HerbertwouldoftencometoHammersmithwhenIwasthere，andIthinkatthoseseasonshisfatherwouldoccasionallyhavesomepassingperceptionthattheopeninghewaslookingfor，hadnotappearedyet。Butinthegeneraltumblingupofthefamily，histumblingoutinlifesomewhere，wasathingtotransactitselfsomehow。InthemeantimeMrPocketgrewgreyer，andtriedoftenertolifthimselfoutofhisperplexitiesbythehair。WhileMrsPockettrippedupthefamilywithherfootstool，readherbookofdignities，lostherpocket-handkerchief，toldusabouthergrandpapa，andtaughttheyoungideahowtoshoot，byshootingitintobedwheneveritattractedhernotice。

AsIamnowgeneralizingaperiodofmylifewiththeobjectofclearingmywaybeforeme，IcanscarcelydosobetterthanbyatoncecompletingthedescriptionofourusualmannersandcustomsatBarnard\'sInnWespentasmuchmoneyaswecould，andgotaslittleforitaspeoplecouldmakeuptheirmindstogiveus。Wewerealwaysmoreorlessmiserable，andmostofouracquaintancewereinthesamecondition。Therewasagayfictionamongusthatwewereconstantlyenjoyingourselves，andaskeletontruththatweneverdid。Tothebestofmybelief，ourcasewasinthelastaspectarathercommonone。

Everymorning，withanairevernew，HerbertwentintotheCitytolookabouthim。Ioftenpaidhimavisitinthedarkback-roominwhichheconsortedwithanink-jar，ahat-peg，acoal-box，astring-box，analmanack，adeskandstool，andaruler；andIdonotrememberthatIeversawhimdoanythingelsebutlookabouthim。Ifwealldidwhatweundertaketodo，asfaithfullyasHerbertdid，wemightliveinaRepublicoftheVirtues。Hehadnothingelsetodo，poorfellow，exceptatacertainhourofeveryafternoonto`gotoLloyd\'s\'-inobservanceofaceremonyofseeinghisprincipal，Ithink。HeneverdidanythingelseinconnexionwithLloyd\'sthatIcouldfindout，exceptcomebackagain。Whenhefelthiscaseunusuallyserious，andthathepositivelymustfindanopening，hewouldgoon\'Changeatabusytime，andwalkinandout，inakindofgloomycountrydancefigure，amongtheassembledmagnates。`For，\'saysHerberttome，cominghometodinnerononeofthosespecialoccasions，`Ifindthetruthtobe，Handel，thatanopeningwon\'tcometoone，butonemustgotoit-soIhavebeen。\'

Ifwehadbeenlessattachedtooneanother，Ithinkwemusthavehatedoneanotherregularlyeverymorning。Idetestedthechambersbeyondexpressionatthatperiodofrepentance，andcouldnotendurethesightoftheAvenger\'slivery:whichhadamoreexpensiveandalessremunerativeappearancethen，thanatanyothertimeinthefour-and-twentyhours。Aswegotmoreandmoreintodebtbreakfastbecameahollowerandhollowerform，and，beingononeoccasionatbreakfast-timethreatened(byletter)withlegalproceedings，`notunwhollyunconnected，\'asmylocalpapermightputit，`withjewellery，\'

IwentsofarastoseizetheAvengerbyhisbluecollarandshakehimoffhisfeet-sothathewasactuallyintheair，likeabootedCupid-forpresumingtosupposethatwewantedaroll。

Atcertaintimes-meaningatuncertaintimes，fortheydependedonourhumour-IwouldsaytoHerbert，asifitwerearemarkablediscovery:

`MydearHerbert，wearegettingonbadly。\'

`MydearHandel，\'Herbertwouldsaytome，inallsincerity，ifyouwillbelieveme，thoseverywordswereonmylips，byastrangecoincidence。\'

`Then，Herbert，\'Iwouldrespond，`letuslookintooutaffairs。\'

Wealwaysderivedprofoundsatisfactionfrommakinganappointmentforthispurpose。Ialwaysthoughtthiswasbusiness，thiswasthewaytoconfrontthething，thiswasthewaytotakethefoebythethroat。AndIknowHerbertthoughtsotoo。

Weorderedsomethingratherspecialfordinner，withabottleofsomethingsimilarlyoutofthecommonway，inorderthatourmindsmightbefortifiedfortheoccasion，andwemightcomewelluptothemark。Dinnerover，weproducedabundleofpens，acopioussupplyofink，andagoodlyshowofwritingandblottingpaper。For，therewassomethingverycomfortableinhavingplentyofstationery。

Iwouldthentakeasheetofpaper，andwriteacrossthetopofit，inaneathand，theheading，`MemorandumofPip\'sdebts；\'withBarnard\'sInnandthedateverycarefullyadded。Herbertwouldalsotakeasheetofpaper，andwriteacrossitwithsimilarformalities，`MemorandumofHerbert\'sdebts。\'

Eachofuswouldthenrefertoaconfusedheapofpapersathisside，whichhadbeenthrownintodrawers，wornintoholesinPockets，half-burntinlightingcandles，stuckforweeksintothelooking-glass，andotherwisedamaged。Thesoundofourpensgoing，refreshedusexceedingly，insomuchthatIsometimesfounditdifficulttodistinguishbetweenthisedifyingbusinessproceedingandactuallypayingthemoney。Inpointofmeritoriouscharacter，thetwothingsseemedaboutequal。

Whenwehadwrittenalittlewhile，IwouldaskHerberthowhegoton？

Herbertprobablywouldhavebeenscratchinghisheadinamostruefulmanneratthesightofhisaccumulatingfigures。

`Theyaremountingup，Handel，\'Herbertwouldsay；`uponmylife，theyaremountingup。\'

`Befirm，Herbert，\'Iwouldretort，plyingmyownpenwithgreatassiduity。

`Lookthethingintheface。Lookintoyouraffairs。Starethemoutofcountenance。\'

`SoIwould，Handel，onlytheyarestaringmeoutofcountenance。\'

However，mydeterminedmannerwouldhaveitseffect，andHerbertwouldfalltoworkagain。Afteratimehewouldgiveuponcemore，onthepleathathehadnotgotCobbs\'sbill，orLobbs\'s，orNobbs\'s，asthecasemightbe。

`Then，Herbert，estimate；estimateitinroundnumbers，andputitdown。\'

`Whatafellowofresourceyouare！\'myfriendwouldreply，withadmiration。

`Reallyyourbusinesspowersareveryremarkable。\'

Ithoughtsotoo。Iestablishedwithmyselfontheseoccasions，thereputationofafirst-ratemanofbusiness-prompt，decisive，energetic，clear，cool-headed。WhenIhadgotallmyresponsibilitiesdownuponmylist，Icomparedeachwiththebill，andtickeditoff。Myself-approvalwhenItickedanentrywasquitealuxurioussensation。WhenIhadnomoretickstomake，Ifoldedallmybillsupuniformly，docketedeachontheback，andtiedthewholeintoasymmetricalbundle。ThenIdidthesameforHerbert(whomodestlysaidhehadnotmyadministrativegenius)，andfeltthatIhadbroughthisaffairsintoafocusforhim。

Mybusinesshabitshadoneotherbrightfeature，whichicalled`leavingaMargin。\'Forexample；supposingHerbert\'sdebtstobeonehundredandsixty-fourpoundsfour-and-twopence，Iwouldsay，`Leaveamargin，andputthemdownattwohundred。\'Or，supposingmyowntobefourtimesasmuch，Iwouldleaveamargin，andputthemdownatsevenhundred。IhadthehighestopinionofthewisdomofthissameMargin，butIamboundtoacknowledgethatonlookingback，Ideemittohavebeenanexpensivedevice。

For，wealwaysranintonewdebtimmediately，tothefullextentofthemargin，andsometimes，inthesenseoffreedomandsolvencyitimparted，gotprettyfaronintoanothermargin。

Buttherewasacalm，arest，avirtuoushush，consequentontheseexaminationsofouraffairsthatgaveme，forthetime，anadmirableopinionofmyself。

Soothedbymyexertions，mymethod，andHerbert\'scompliments，Iwouldsitwithhissymmetricalbundleandmyownonthetablebeforemeamongthestationary，andfeellikeaBankofsomesort，ratherthanaprivateindividual。

Weshutourouterdooronthesesolemnoccasions，inorderthatwemightnotbeinterrupted。Ihadfallenintomyserenestateoneevening，whenweheardaletterdroppedthroughtheslitinthesaiddoor，andfallontheground。`It\'sforyou，Handel，\'saidHerbert，goingoutandcomingbackwithit，`andIhopethereisnothingthematter。\'Thiswasinallusiontoitsheavyblacksealandborder。

TheletterwassignedTRABB&；CO。，anditscontentsweresimply，thatIwasanhonouredsir，andthattheybeggedtoinformmethatMrsJ。GargeryhaddepartedthislifeonMondaylast，attwentyminutespastsixintheevening，andthatmyattendancewasrequestedattheintermentonMondaynextatthreeo\'clockintheafternoon。

Chapter35

ITwasthefirsttimethatagravehadopenedinmyroadoflife，andthegapitmadeinthesmoothgroundwaswonderful。Thefigureofmysisterinherchairbythekitchenfire，hauntedmenightandday。Thattheplacecouldpossiblybe，withouther，wassomethingmymindseemedunabletocompass；andwhereasshehadseldomorneverbeeninmythoughtsoflate，Ihadnowthestrangestideasthatshewascomingtowardsmeinthestreet，orthatshewouldpresentlyknockatthedoor。Inmyroomstoo，withwhichshehadneverbeenatallassociated，therewasatoncetheblanknessofdeathandaperpetualsuggestionofthesoundofhervoiceortheturnofherfaceorfigure，asifshewerestillaliveandhadbeenoftenthere。

Whatevermyfortunesmighthavebeen，Icouldscarcelyhaverecalledmysisterwithmuchtenderness。ButIsupposethereisashockofregretwhichmayexistwithoutmuchtenderness。Underitsinfluence(andperhapstomakeupforthewantofthesofterfeeling)Iwasseizedwithaviolentindignationagainsttheassailantfromwhomshehadsufferedsomuch；andIfeltthatonsufficientproofIcouldhaverevengefullypursuedOrlick，oranyoneelse，tothelastextremity。

HavingwrittentoJoe，toofferconsolation，andtoassurehimthatIshouldcometothefuneral，IpassedtheintermediatedaysinthecuriousstateofmindIhaveglancedat。Iwentdownearlyinthemorning，andalightedattheBlueBoaringoodtimetowalkovertotheforge。

Itwasfinesummerweatheragain，and，asIwalkedalong，thetimeswhenIwasalittlehelplesscreature，andmysisterdidnotspareme，vividlyreturned。ButtheyreturnedwithagentletoneuponthemthatsoftenedeventheedgeofTickler。Fornow，theverybreathofthebeansandcloverwhisperedtomyheartthatthedaymustcomewhenitwouldbewellformymemorythatotherswalkinginthesunshineshouldbesoftenedastheythoughtofme。

AtlastIcamewithinsightofthehouse，andsawthatTrabbandCo。

hadputinafunerealexecutionandtakenpossession。Twodismallyabsurdpersons，eachostentatiouslyexhibitingacrutchdoneupinablackbandage-asifthatinstrumentcouldpossiblycommunicateanycomforttoanybody-werepostedatthefrontdoor；andinoneofthemIrecognizedapostboydischargedfromtheBoarforturningayoungcoupleintoasawpitontheirbridalmorning，inconsequenceofintoxicationrenderingitnecessaryforhimtoridehishorseclaspedroundtheneckwithbotharms。Allthechildrenofthevillage，andmostofthewomen，wereadmiringthesesablewardersandtheclosedwindowsofthehouseandforge；andasIcameup，oneofthetwowarders(thepostboy)knockedatthedoor-implyingthatIwasfartoomuchexhaustedbygrief，tohavestrengthremainingtoknockformyself。

Anothersablewarder(acarpenter，whohadonceeatentwogeeseforawager)openedthedoor，andshowedmeintothebestparlour。Here，MrTrabbhadtakenuntohimselfthebesttable，andhadgotalltheleavesup，andwasholdingakindofblackBazaar，withtheaidofaquantityofblackpins。Atthemomentofmyarrival，hehadjustfinishedputtingsomebody\'shatintoblacklong-clothes，likeanAfricanbaby；soheheldouthishandformine。ButI，misledbytheaction，andconfusedbytheoccasion，shookhandswithhimwitheverytestimonyofwarmaffection。

PoordearJoe，entangledinalittleblackcloaktiedinalargebowunderhischin，wasseatedapartattheupperendoftheroom；where，aschiefmourner，hehadevidentlybeenstationedbyTrabb。WhenIbentdownandsaidtohim，`DearJoe，howareyou？\'hesaid，`Pip，oldchap，youknowedherwhenshewereafinefigureofa——\'andclaspedmyhandandsaidnomore。

Biddy，lookingveryneatandmodestinherblackdress，wentquietlyhereandthere，andwasveryhelpful。WhenIhadspokentoBiddy，asI

thoughtitnotatimefortalkingIwentandsatdownnearJoe，andtherebegantowonderinwhatpartofthehouseit-she-mysister-was。Theairoftheparlourbeingfaintwiththesmellofsweetcake，Ilookedaboutforthetableofrefreshments；itwasscarcelyvisibleuntilonehadgotaccustomedtothegloom，buttherewasacut-upplum-cakeuponit，andtherewerecut-uporanges，andsandwiches，andbiscuits，andtwodecantersthatIknewverywellasornaments，buthadneverseenusedinallmylife；

onefullofport，andoneofsherry。Standingatthistable，IbecameconsciousoftheservilePumblechookinablackcloakandseveralyardsofhatband，whowasalternatelystuffinghimself，andmakingobsequiousmovementstocatchmyattention。Themomenthesucceeded，hecameovertome(breathingsherryandcrumbs)，andsaidinasubduedvoice，`MayI，dearsir？\'anddid。IthendescriedMrandMrsHubble；thelast-namedinadecentspeechlessparoxysminacorner。Wewereallgoingto`follow，\'andwereallincourseofbeingtiedupseparately(byTrabb)intoridiculousbundles。

`WhichImeantersay，Pip，\'Joewhisperedme，aswewerebeingwhatMrTrabbcalled`formed\'intheparlour，twoandtwo-anditwasdreadfullylikeapreparationforsomegrimkindofdance；`whichImeantersay，sir，asIwouldinpreferencehavecarriedhertothechurchmyself，alongwiththreeorfourfriendlyoneswotcometoitwithwillinghartsandarms，butitwereconsideredwottheneighbourswouldlookdownonsuchandwouldbeofopinionsasitwerewantinginrespect。\'

`Pocket-handkerchiefsout，all！\'criedMrTrabbatthispoint，inadepressedbusiness-likevoice。`Pocket-handkerchiefsout！Weareready！\'

So，weallputourpocket-handkerchiefstoourfaces，asifournoseswerebleeding，andfiledouttwoandtwo；JoeandI；BiddyandPumblechook；

MrandMrsHubble。Theremainsofmypoorsisterhadbeenbroughtroundbythekitchendoor，and，itbeingapointofUndertakingceremonythatthesixbearersmustbestifledandblindedunderahorribleblackvelvethousingwithawhiteborder，thewholelookedlikeablindmonsterwithtwelvehumanlegs，shufflingandblunderingalong，undertheguidanceoftwokeepers-thepostboyandhiscomrade。

Theneighbourhood，however，highlyapprovedofthesearrangements，andweweremuchadmiredaswewentthroughthevillage；themoreyouthfulandvigorouspartofthecommunitymakingdashesnowandthentocutusoff，andlyinginwaittointerceptusatpointsofvantage。Atsuchtimesthemoreexuberantamongthemcalledoutinanexcitedmanneronouremergenceroundsomecornerofexpectancy，`Heretheycome！\'`Heretheyare！\'andwewereallbutcheered。InthisprogressIwasmuchannoyedbytheabjectPumblechook，who，beingbehindme，persistedallthewayasadelicateattentioninarrangingmystreaminghatband，andsmoothingmycloak。MythoughtswerefurtherdistractedbytheexcessiveprideofMrandMrsHubble，whoweresurpassinglyconceitedandvaingloriousinbeingmembersofsodistinguishedaprocession。

Andnow，therangeofmarsheslayclearbeforeus，withthesailsoftheshipsontherivergrowingoutofit；andwewentintothechurchyard，closetothegravesofmyunknownparents，PhilipPirrip，lateofthisparish，andAlsoGeorgiana，WifeoftheAbove。Andthere，mysisterwaslaidquietlyintheearthwhilethelarkssanghighaboveit，andthelightwindstreweditwithbeautifulshadowsofcloudsandtrees。

Oftheconductoftheworldly-mindedPumblechookwhilethiswasdoing，Idesiretosaynomorethanitwasalladdressedtome；andthatevenwhenthosenoblepassageswerereadwhichremindhumanityhowitbroughtnothingintotheworldandcantakenothingout，andhowitfleethlikeashadowandnevercontinuethlonginonestay，Iheardhimcoughareservationofthecaseofayounggentlemanwhocameunexpectedlyintolargeproperty。

Whenwegotback，hehadthehardihoodtotellmethathewishedmysistercouldhaveknownIhaddonehersomuchhonour，andtohintthatshewouldhaveconsidereditreasonablypurchasedatthepriceofherdeath。Afterthat，hedrankalltherestofthesherry，andMrHubbledranktheport，andthetwotalked(whichIhavesinceobservedtobecustomaryinsuchcases)asiftheywereofquiteanotherracefromthedeceased，andwerenotoriouslyimmortal。Finally，hewentawaywithMrandMrsHubble-tomakeaneveningofit，Ifeltsure，andtotelltheJollyBargementhathewasthefounderofmyfortunesandmyearliestbenefactor。

Whentheywereallgone，andwhenTrabbandhismen-butnothisboy:

Ilookedforhim-hadcrammedtheirmummeryintobags，andweregonetoo，thehousefeltwholesomer。Soonafterwards，Biddy，Joe，andI，hadacolddinnertogether；butwedinedinthebestparlour，notintheoldkitchen，andJoewassoexceedinglyparticularwhathedidwithhisknifeandforkandthesaltcellarandwhatnot，thattherewasgreatrestraintuponus。

Butafterdinner，whenImadehimtakehispipe，andwhenIhadloiteredwithhimabouttheforge，andwhenwesatdowntogetheronthegreatblockofstoneoutsideit，wegotonbetter。InoticedthatafterthefuneralJoechangedhisclothessofar，astomakeacompromisebetweenhisSundaydressandworkingdress:inwhichthedearfellowlookednatural，andliketheManhewas。

HewasverymuchpleasedbymyaskingifImightsleepinmyownlittleroom，andIwaspleasedtoo；for，IfeltthatIhaddoneratheragreatthinginmakingtherequest。Whentheshadowsofeveningwereclosingin，ItookanopportunityofgettingintothegardenwithBiddyforalittletalk。

`Biddy，\'saidI，`Ithinkyoumighthavewrittentomeaboutthesesadmatters。\'

`Doyou，MrPip？\'saidBiddy。`IshouldhavewrittenifIhadthoughtthat。\'

`Don\'tsupposethatImeantobeunkind，Biddy，whenIsayIconsiderthatyououghttohavethoughtthat。\'

`Doyou，MrPip？\'

Shewassoquiet，andhadsuchanorderly，good，andprettywaywithher，thatIdidnotlikethethoughtofmakinghercryagain。Afterlookingalittleatherdowncasteyesasshewalkedbesideme，Igaveupthatpoint。

`Isupposeitwillbedifficultforyoutoremainherenow，Biddydear？\'

`Oh！Ican\'tdoso，MrPip，\'saidBiddy，inatoneofregret，butstillofquietconviction。`IhavebeenspeakingtoMrsHubble，andIamgoingtoherto-morrow。IhopeweshallbeabletotakesomecareofMrGargery，together，untilhesettlesdown。\'

`Howareyougoingtolive，Biddy？Ifyouwantanymo——\'

`HowamIgoingtolive？\'repeatedBiddy，strikingin，withamomentaryflushuponherface。`I\'lltellyou，MrPip。Iamgoingtotrytogettheplaceofmistressinthenewschoolnearlyfinishedhere。Icanbewellrecommendedbyalltheneighbours，andIhopeIcanbeindustriousandpatient，andteachmyselfwhileIteachothers。Youknow，MrPip，\'pursuedBiddy，withasmile，assheraisedhereyestomyface，`thenewschoolsarenotliketheold，butIlearntagooddealfromyouafterthattime，andhavehadtimesincethentoimprove。\'

`Ithinkyouwouldalwaysimprove，Biddy，underanycircumstances。\'

`Ah！Exceptinmybadsideofhumannature，\'murmuredBiddy。

Itwasnotsomuchareproach，asanirresistiblethinkingaloud。Well！

IthoughtIwouldgiveupthatpointtoo。So，IwalkedalittlefurtherwithBiddy，lookingsilentlyatherdowncasteyes。

`Ihavenotheardtheparticularsofmysister\'sdeath，Biddy。\'

`Theyareveryslight，poorthing。Shehadbeeninoneofherbadstates-thoughtheyhadgotbetteroflate，ratherthanworse-forfourdays，whenshecameoutofitintheevening，justatteatime，andsaidquiteplainly，"Joe。"Asshehadneversaidanywordforalongwhile，IranandfetchedinMrGargeryfromtheforge。Shemadesignstomethatshewantedhimtositdownclosetoher，andwantedmetoputherarmsroundhisneck。SoIputthemroundhisneck，andshelaidherheaddownonhisshoulderquitecontentandsatisfied。Andsoshepresentlysaid"Joe"again，andonce"Pardon，"andonce"Pip。"Andsosheneverliftedherheadupanymore，anditwasjustanhourlaterwhenwelaiditdownonherownbed，becausewefoundshewasgone。\'

Biddycried；thedarkeninggarden，andthelane，andthestarsthatwerecomingout，wereblurredinmyownsight。

`Nothingwaseverdiscovered，Biddy？\'

`Nothing。\'

`DoyouknowwhatisbecomeofOrlick？\'

`Ishouldthinkfromthecolourofhisclothesthatheisworkinginthequarries。\'

`Ofcourseyouhaveseenhimthen？-Whyareyoulookingatthatdarktreeinthelane？\'

`Isawhimthere，onthenightshedied。\'

`Thatwasnotthelasttimeeither，Biddy？\'

`No；Ihaveseenhimthere，sincewehavebeenwalkinghere-Itisofnouse，\'saidBiddy，layingherhanduponmyarm，asIwasforrunningout，`youknowIwouldnotdeceiveyou；hewasnotthereaminute，andheisgone。\'

Itrevivedmyutmostindignationtofindthatshewasstillpursuedbythisfellow，andIfeltinveterateagainsthim。Itoldherso，andtoldherthatIwouldspendanymoneyortakeanypainstodrivehimoutofthatcountry。Bydegreessheledmeintomoretemperatetalk，andshetoldmehowJoelovedme，andhowJoenevercomplainedofanything-shedidn\'tsay，ofme；shehadnoneed；Iknewwhatshemeant-buteverdidhisdutyinhiswayoflife，withastronghand，quiettonguè；，andagentleheart。

`Indeed，itwouldbehardtosaytoomuchforhim，\'saidI；`andBiddy，wemustoftenspeakofthesethings，forofcourseIshallbeoftendownherenow。IamnotgoingtoleavepoorJoealone。\'

Biddysaidneverasingleword。

`Biddy，don\'tyouhearme？\'

`Yes，MrPip。\'

`NottomentionyourcallingmeMrPip-whichappearstometobeinbadtaste，Biddy-whatdoyoumean？\'

`WhatdoImean？\'askedBiddy，timidly。

`Biddy，\'saidI，inavirtuouslyself-assertingmanner，`Imustrequesttoknowwhatyoumeanbythis？\'

`Bythis？\'saidBiddy。

`Now，don\'techo，\'Iretorted。`Youusednottoecho，Biddy。\'

`Usednot！\'saidBiddy。`OMrPip！Used！\'

Well！IratherthoughtIwouldgiveupthatpointtoo。Afteranothersilentturninthegarden，Ifellbackonthemainposition。

`Biddy，\'saidI，`Imadearemarkrespectingmycomingdownhereoften，toseeJoe，whichyoureceivedwithamarkedsilence。Havethegoodness，Biddy，totellmewhy。\'

`Areyouquitesure，then，thatyouWILLcometoseehimoften？\'askedBiddy，stoppinginthenarrowgardenwalk，andlookingatmeunderthestarswithaclearandhonesteye。

`Ohdearme！\'saidI，asifIfoundmyselfcompelledtogiveupBiddyindespair。`Thisreallyisaverybadsideofhumannature！Don\'tsayanymore，ifyouplease，Biddy。Thisshocksmeverymuch。\'

ForwhichcogentreasonIkeptBiddyatadistanceduringsupper，and，whenIwentuptomyownoldlittleroom，tookasstatelyaleaveofherasIcould，inmymurmuringsoul，deemreconcilablewiththechurchyardandtheeventoftheday。AsoftenasIwasrestlessinthenight，andthatwaseveryquarterofanhour，Ireflectedwhatanunkindness，whataninjury，whataninjustice，Biddyhaddoneme。

Earlyinthemorning，Iwastogo。Earlyinthemorning，Iwasout，andlookingin，unseen，atoneofthewoodenwindowsoftheforge。ThereIstood，forminutes，lookingatJoe，alreadyatworkwithaglowofhealthandstrengthuponhisfacethatmadeitshowasifthebrightsunofthelifeinstoreforhimwereshiningonit。

`Good-bye，dearJoe！-No，don\'twipeitoff-forGod\'ssake，givemeyourblackenedhand！-Ishallbedownsoon，andoften。\'

`Nevertoosoon，sir，\'saidJoe，`andnevertoooften，Pip！\'

Biddywaswaitingformeatthekitchendoor，withamugofnewmilkandacrustofbread。`Biddy，\'saidI，whenIgavehermyhandatparting，`Iamnotangry，butIamhurt。\'

`No，don\'tbehurt，\'shepleadedquitepathetically；`letonlymebehurt，ifIhavebeenungenerous。\'

Oncemore，themistswererisingasIwalkedaway。Iftheydisclosedtome，asIsuspecttheydid，thatIshouldnotcomeback，andthatBiddywasquiteright，allIcansayis-theywerequiterighttoo。

Chapter36

HERBERTandIwentonfrombadtoworse，inthewayofincreasingourdebts，lookingintoouraffairs，leavingMargins，andthelikeexemplarytransactions；andTimewenton，whetherorno，ashehasawayofdoing；

andIcameofage-infulfilmentofHerbert\'sprediction，thatIshoulddosobeforeIknewwhereIwas。

Herberthimselfhadcomeofage，eightmonthsbeforeme。Ashehadnothingelsethanhismajoritytocomeinto，theeventdidnotmakeaprofoundsensationinBarnard\'sInn。Butwehadlookedforwardtomyone-and-twentiethbirthday，withacrowdofspeculationsandanticipations，forwehadbothconsideredthatmyguardiancouldhardlyhelpsayingsomethingdefiniteonthatoccasion。

IhadtakencaretohaveitwellunderstoodinLittleBritain，whenmybirthdaywas。Onthedaybeforeit，IreceivedanofficialnotefromWemmick，informingmethatMrJaggerswouldbegladifIwouldcalluponhimatfiveintheafternoonoftheauspiciousday。Thisconvincedusthatsomethinggreatwastohappen，andthrewmeintoanunusualflutterwhenIrepairedtomyguardian\'soffice，amodelofpunctuality。

IntheouterofficeWemmickofferedmehiscongratulations，andincidentallyrubbedthesideofhisnosewithafoldedpieceoftissuepaperthatIlikedthelookof。Buthesaidnothingrespectingit，andmotionedmewithanodintomyguardian\'sroom。ItwasNovember，andmyguardianwasstandingbeforehisfireleaninghisbackagainstthechimney-piece，withhishandsunderhiscoattails。

`Well，Pip，\'saidhe，`ImustcallyouMrPipto-day。Congratulations，MrPip。\'

Weshookhands-hewasalwaysaremarkablyshortshaker-andIthankedhim。

`Takeachair，MrPip，\'saidmyguardian。

AsIsatdown，andhepreservedhisattitudeandbenthisbrowsathisboots，Ifeltatadisadvantage，whichremindedmeofthatoldtimewhenIhadbeenputuponatombstone。Thetwoghastlycastsontheshelfwerenotfarfromhim，andtheirexpressionwasasiftheyweremakingastupidapoplecticattempttoattendtotheconversation。

`Nowmyyoungfriend，\'myguardianbegan，asifIwereawitnessinthebox，`Iamgoingtohaveawordortwowithyou。\'

`Ifyouplease，sir。\'

`Whatdoyousuppose，\'saidMrJaggers，bendingforwardtolookattheground，andthenthrowinghisheadbacktolookattheceiling，`whatdoyousupposeyouarelivingattherateof？\'

`Attherateof，sir？\'

`At，\'repeatedMrJaggers，stilllookingattheceiling，`the-rate-of？\'Andthenlookedallroundtheroom，andpausedwithhispocket-handkerchiefinhishand，halfwaytohisnose。

Ihadlookedintomyaffairssooften，thatIhadthoroughlydestroyedanyslightnotionImighteverhavehadoftheirbearings。Reluctantly，Iconfessedmyselfquiteunabletoanswerthequestion。ThisreplyseemedagreeabletoMrJaggers，whosaid，`Ithoughtso！\'andblewhisnosewithanairofsatisfaction。

`Now，Ihaveaskedyouaquestion，myfriend，\'saidMrJaggers。

`Haveyouanythingtoaskme？\'

`Ofcourseitwouldbeagreatrelieftometoaskyouseveralquestions，sir；butIrememberyourprohibition。\'

`Askone，\'saidMrJaggers。

`Ismybenefactortobemadeknowntometo-day？\'

`No。Askanother。\'

`Isthatconfidencetobeimpartedtomesoon？\'

`Waivethat，amoment，\'saidMrJaggers，`andaskanother。\'

Ilookedaboutme，butthereappearedtobenownopossibleescapefromtheinquiry，`Have-I-anythingtoreceive，sir？\'Onthat，MrJaggerssaid，triumphantly，`Ithoughtweshouldcometoit！\'andcalledtoWemmicktogivehimthatpieceofpaper。Wemmickappeared，handeditin，anddisappeared。

`Now，MrPip，\'saidMrJaggers，`attend，ifyouplease。Youhavebeendrawingprettyfreelyhere；yournameoccursprettyofteninWemmick\'scash-book；butyouareindebt，ofcourse？\'

`IamafraidImustsayyes，sir。\'

`Youknowyoumustsayyes；don\'tyou？\'saidMrJaggers。

`Yes，sir。\'

`Idon\'taskyouwhatyouowe，becauseyoudon\'tknow；andifyoudidknow，youwouldn\'ttellme；youwouldsayless。Yes，yes，myfriend，\'criedMrJaggers，wavinghisforefingertostopme，asImadeashowofprotesting:

`it\'slikelyenoughthatyouthinkyouwouldn\'t，butyouwould。You\'llexcuseme，butIknowbetterthanyou。Now，takethispieceofpaperinyourhand。Youhavegotit？Verygood。Now，unfolditandtellmewhatitis。\'

`Thisisabank-note，\'saidI，`forfivehundredpounds。\'

`Thatisabank-note，\'repeatedMrJaggers，`forfivehundredpounds。

Andaveryhandsomesumofmoneytoo，Ithink。Youconsideritso？\'

`HowcouldIdootherwise！\'

`Ah！Butanswerthequestion，\'saidMrJaggers。

`Undoubtedly。\'

`Youconsiderit，undoubtedly，ahandsomesumofmoney。Now，thathandsomesumofmoney，Pip，isyourown。Itisapresenttoyouonthisday，inearnestofyourexpectations。Andattherateofthathandsomesumofmoneyperannum，andatnohigherrate，youaretoliveuntilthedonorofthewholeappears。Thatistosay，youwillnowtakeyourmoneyaffairsentirelyintoyourownhands，andyouwilldrawfromWemmickonehundredandtwenty-fivepoundsperquarter，untilyouareincommunicationwiththefountain-head，andnolongerwiththemereagent。AsIhavetoldyoubefore，Iamthemereagent。Iexecutemyinstructions，andIampaidfordoingso。Ithinktheminjudicious，butIamnotpaidforgivinganyopinionontheirmerits。\'

IwasbeginningtoexpressmygratitudetomybenefactorforthegreatliberalitywithwhichIwastreated，whenMrJaggersstoppedme。`Iamnotpaid，Pip，\'saidhe，coolly，`tocarryyourwordstoanyone；\'andthengathereduphiscoat-tails，ashehadgatheredupthesubject，andstoodfrowningathisbootsasifhesuspectedthemofdesignsagainsthim。

Afterapause，Ihinted:

`Therewasaquestionjustnow，MrJaggers，whichyoudesiredmetowaiveforamoment。IhopeIamdoingnothingwronginaskingitagain？\'

`Whatisit？\'saidhe。

Imighthaveknownthathewouldneverhelpmeout；butittookmeabacktohavetoshapethequestionafresh，asifitwerequitenew。`Isitlikely，\'

Isaid，afterhesitating，`thatmypatron，thefountain-headyouhavespokenof，MrJaggers，willsoon——\'thereIdelicatelystopped。

`Willsoonwhat？\'askedMrJaggers。`That\'snoquestionasitstands，youknow。\'

`WillsooncometoLondon，\'saidI，aftercastingaboutforapreciseformofwords，`orsummonmeanywhereelse？\'

`Nowhere，\'repliedMrJaggers，fixingmeforthefirsttimewithhisdarkdeep-seteyes，`wemustreverttotheeveningwhenwefirstencounteredoneanotherinyourvillage。WhatdidItellyouthen，Pip？\'

`Youtoldme，MrJaggers，thatitmightbeyearshencewhenthatpersonappeared。\'

`Justso，\'saidMrJaggers；`that\'smyanswer。\'

Aswelookedfullatoneanother，Ifeltmybreathcomequickerinmystrongdesiretogetsomethingoutofhim。AndasIfeltthatitcamequicker，andasIfeltthathesawthatitcamequicker，IfeltthatIhadlesschancethaneverofgettinganythingoutofhim。

`Doyousupposeitwillstillbeyearshence，MrJaggers？\'

MrJaggersshookhishead-notinnegativingthequestion，butinaltogethernegativingthenotionthathecouldanyhowbegottoanswerit-andthetwohorriblecastsofthetwitchedfaceslooked，whenmyeyesstrayeduptothem，asiftheyhadcometoacrisisintheirsuspendedattention，andweregoingtosneeze。

`Come！\'saidMrJaggers，warmingthebacksofhislegswiththebacksofhiswarmedhands，`I\'llbeplainwithyou，myfriendPip。That\'saquestionImustnotbeasked。You\'llunderstandthat，better，whenItellyouit\'saquestionthatmightcompromiseme。Come！I\'llgoalittlefurtherwithyou；I\'llsaysomethingmore。\'

Hebentdownsolowtofrownathisboots，thathewasabletorubthecalvesofhislegsinthepausehemade。

`Whenthatpersondiscloses，\'saidMrJaggers，straighteninghimself，`youandthatpersonwillsettleyourownaffairs。Whenthatpersondiscloses，mypartinthisbusinesswillceaseanddetermine。Whenthatpersondiscloses，itwillnotbenecessaryformetoknowanythingaboutit。Andthat\'sallIhavegottosay。\'

WelookedatoneanotheruntilIwithdrewmyeyes，andlookedthoughtfullyatthefloor。FromthislastspeechIderivedthenotionthatMissHavisham，forsomereasonornoreason，hadnottakenhimintoherconfidenceastoherdesigningmeforEstella；thatheresentedthis，andfeltajealousyaboutit；orthathereallydidobjecttothatscheme，andwouldhavenothingtodowithit。WhenIraisedmyeyesagain，Ifoundthathehadbeenshrewdlylookingatmeallthetime，andwasdoingsostill。

`Ifthatisallyouhavetosay，sir，\'Iremarked，`therecanbenothingleftformetosay。\'

Henoddedassent，andpulledouthisthief-dreadedwatch，andaskedmewhereIwasgoingtodine？Irepliedatmyownchambers，withHerbert。

Asanecessarysequence，Iaskedhimifhewouldfavouruswithhiscompany，andhepromptlyacceptedtheinvitation。Butheinsistedonwalkinghomewithme，inorderthatImightmakenoextrapreparationforhim，andfirsthehadaletterortwotowrite，and(ofcourse)hadhishandstowash。

So，IsaidIwouldgointotheouterofficeandtalktoWemmick。

Thefactwas，thatwhenthefivehundredpoundshadcomeintomypocket，athoughthadcomeintomyheadwhichhadbeenoftentherebefore；anditappearedtomethatWemmickwasagoodpersontoadvisewith，concerningsuchthought。

Hehadalreadylockeduphissafe，andmadepreparationsforgoinghome。

Hehadlefthisdesk，broughtouthistwogreasyofficecandlesticksandstoodtheminlinewiththesnuffersonaslabnearthedoor，readytobeextinguished；hehadrakedhisfirelow，puthishatandgreat-coatready，andwasbeatinghimselfalloverthechestwithhissafe-key，asanathleticexerciseafterbusiness。

`MrWemmick，\'saidI，`Iwanttoaskyouropinion。Iamverydesiroustoserveafriend。\'

Wemmicktightenedhispost-officeandshookhishead，asifhisopinionweredeadagainstanyfatalweaknessofthatsort。

`Thisfriend，\'Ipursued，`istryingtogetonincommerciallife，buthasnomoney，andfindsitdifficultanddishearteningtomakeabeginning。

Now，Iwantsomehowtohelphimtoabeginning。\'

`Withmoneydown？\'saidWemmick，inatonedrierthananysawdust。

`Withsomemoneydown，\'Ireplied，foranuneasyremembranceshotacrossmeofthatsymmetricalbundleofpapersathome；`withsomemoneydown，andperhapssomeanticipationofmyexpectations。\'

`MrPip，\'saidWemmick，`Ishouldlikejusttorunoverwithyouonmyfingers，ifyouplease，thenamesofthevariousbridgesupashighasChelseaReach。Let\'ssee；there\'sLondon，one；Southwark，two；Blackfriars，three；Waterloo，four；Westminster，five；Vauxhall，six。\'Hehadcheckedoffeachbridgeinitsturn，withthehandleofhissafe-keyonthepalmofhishand。`There\'sasmanyassix，yousee，tochoosefrom。\'

`Idon\'tunderstandyou，\'saidI。

`Chooseyourbridge，MrPip，\'returnedWemmick，`andtakeawalkuponyourbridge，andpitchyourmoneyintotheThamesoverthecentrearchofyourbridge，andyouknowtheendofit。Serveafriendwithit，andyoumayknowtheendofittoo-butit\'salesspleasantandprofitableend。\'

Icouldhavepostedanewspaperinhismouth，hemadeitsowideaftersayingthis。

`Thisisverydiscouraging，\'saidI。

`Meanttobeso，\'saidWemmick。

`Thenisityouropinion，\'Iinquired，withsomelittleindignation，`thatamanshouldnever——\'

`-Investportablepropertyinafriend？\'saidWemmick。`Certainlyheshouldnot。Unlesshewantstogetridofthefriend-andthenitbecomesaquestionhowmuchportablepropertyitmaybeworthtogetridofhim。\'

`Andthat，\'saidI，`isyourdeliberateopinion，MrWemmick？\'

`That，\'hereturned，`ismydeliberateopinioninthisoffice。\'

`Ah！\'saidI，pressinghim，forIthoughtIsawhimnearaloopholehere；`butwouldthatbeyouropinionatWalworth？\'

`MrPip，\'hereplied，withgravity，`Walworthisoneplace，andthisofficeisanother。MuchastheAgedisoneperson，andMrJaggersisanother。

Theymustnotbeconfoundedtogether。MyWalworthsentimentsmustbetakenatWalworth；nonebutmyofficialsentimentscanbetakeninthisoffice。\'

`Verywell，\'saidI，muchrelieved，`thenIshalllookyouupatWalworth，youmaydependuponit。\'

`MrPip，\'hereturned，`youwillbewelcomethere，inaprivateandpersonalcapacity。\'

Wehadheldthisconversationinalowvoice，wellknowingmyguardian\'searstobethesharpestofthesharp。Ashenowappearedinhisdoorway，towellinghishands，Wemmickgotonhisgreatcoatandstoodbytosnuffoutthecandles。Weallthreewentintothestreettogether，andfromthedoor-stepWemmickturnedhisway，andMrJaggersandIturnedours。

Icouldnothelpwishingmorethanoncethatevening，thatMrJaggershadhadanAgedinGerrard-street，oraStinger，oraSomething，oraSomebody，tounbendhisbrowsalittle。Itwasanuncomfortableconsiderationonatwenty-firstbirthday，thatcomingofageatallseemedhardlyworthwhileinsuchaguardedandsuspiciousworldashemadeofit。HewasathousandtimesbetterinformedandclevererthanWemmick，andyetIwouldathousandtimesratherhavehadWemmicktodinner。AndMrJaggersmadenotmealoneintenselymelancholy，because，afterhewasgone，Herbertsaidofhimself，withhiseyesfixedonthefire，thathethoughthemusthavecommittedafelonyandforgottenthedetailsofit，hefeltsodejectedandguilty。

Chapter37

DEEMINGSundaythebestdayfortakingMrWemmick\'sWalworthsentiments，IdevotedthenextensuingSundayafternoontoapilgrimagetotheCastle。

Onarrivingbeforethebattlements，IfoundtheUnionJackflyingandthedrawbridgeup；butundeterredbythisshowofdefianceandresistance，Irangatthegate，andwasadmittedinamostpacificmannerbytheAged。

`Myson，sir，\'saidtheoldman，aftersecuringthedrawbridge，`ratherhaditinhismindthatyoumighthappentodropin，andheleftwordthathewouldsoonbehomefromhisafternoon\'swalk。Heisveryregularinhiswalks，ismyson。Veryregularineverything，ismyson。\'

InoddedattheoldgentlemanasWemmickhimselfmighthavenodded，andwewentinandsatdownbythefireside。

`Youmadeacquaintancewithmyson，sir，\'saidtheoldman，inhischirpingway，whilehewarmedhishandsattheblaze，`athisoffice，Iexpect？\'

Inodded。`Hah！Ihaveheerdthatmysonisawonderfulhandathisbusiness，sir？\'Inoddedhard。`Yes；sotheytellme。HisbusinessistheLaw？\'I

noddedharder。`Whichmakesitmoresurprisinginmyson，\'saidtheoldman，`forhewasnotbroughtuptotheLaw，buttotheWine-Coopering。\'

CurioustoknowhowtheoldgentlemanstoodinformedconcerningthereputationofMrJaggers，Iroaredthatnameathim。Hethrewmeintothegreatestconfusionbylaughingheartilyandreplyinginaverysprightlymanner，`No，tobesure；you\'reright。\'AndtothishourIhavenotthefaintestnotionwhathemeant，orwhatjokehethoughtIhadmade。

AsIcouldnotsittherenoddingathimperpetually，withoutmakingsomeotherattempttointeresthim，Ishoutedatinquirywhetherhisowncallinginlifehadbeen`theWine-Coopering。\'Bydintofstrainingthattermoutofmyselfseveraltimesandtappingtheoldgentlemanonthechesttoassociateitwithhim，Iatlastsucceededinmakingmymeaningunderstood。

`No，\'saidtheoldgentleman；`thewarehousing，thewarehousing。First，overyonder；\'heappearedtomeanupthechimney，butIbelieveheintendedtorefermetoLiverpool；`andthenintheCityofLondonhere。However，havinganinfirmity-forIamhardofhearing，sir——\'

Iexpressedinpantomimethegreatestastonishment。

`-Yes，hardofhearing；havingthatinfirmitycominguponme，mysonhewentintotheLaw，andhetookchargeofme，andhebylittleandlittlemadeoutthiselegantandbeautifulproperty。Butreturningtowhatyousaid，youknow，\'pursuedtheoldman，againlaughingheartily，`whatI

sayis，Notobesure；you\'reright。\'

Iwasmodestlywonderingwhethermyutmostingenuitywouldhaveenabledmetosayanythingthatwouldhaveamusedhimhalfasmuchasthisimaginarypleasantry，whenIwasstartledbyasuddenclickinthewallononesideofthechimney，andtheghostlytumblingopenofalittlewoodenflapwith`JOHN\'uponit。Theoldman，followingmyeyes，criedwithgreattriumph，`Myson\'scomehome！\'andwebothwentouttothedrawbridge。

ItwasworthanymoneytoseeWemmickwavingasalutetomefromtheothersideofthemoat，whenwemighthaveshakenhandsacrossitwiththegreatestease。TheAgedwassodelightedtoworkthedrawbridge，thatImadenooffertoassisthim，butstoodquietuntilWemmickhadcomeacross，andhadpresentedmetoMissSkiffins:aladybywhomhewasaccompanied。

MissSkiffinswasofawoodenappearance，andwas，likeherescort，inthepost-officebranchoftheservice。ShemighthavebeensometwoorthreeyearsyoungerthanWemmick，andIjudgedhertostandpossessedofportableproperty。Thecutofherdressfromthewaistupward，bothbeforeandbehind，madeherfigureverylikeaboy\'skite；andImighthavepronouncedhergownalittletoodecidedlyorange，andherglovesalittletoointenselygreen。Butsheseemedtobeagoodsortoffellow，andshowedahighregardfortheAged。IwasnotlongindiscoveringthatshewasafrequentvisitorattheCastle；for，onourgoingin，andmycomplimentingWemmickonhisingeniouscontrivanceforannouncinghimselftotheAged，hebeggedmetogivemyattentionforamomenttotheothersideofthechimney，anddisappeared。Presentlyanotherclickcame，andanotherlittledoortumbledopenwith`MissSkiffins\'onit；thenMissSkiffinsshutupandJohntumbledopen；thenMissSkiffinsandJohnbothtumbledopentogether，andfinallyshutuptogether。OnWemmick\'sreturnfromworkingthesemechanicalappliances，IexpressedthegreatadmirationwithwhichIregardedthem，andhesaid，`Well，youknow，they\'rebothpleasantandusefultotheAged。AndbyGeorge，sir，it\'sathingworthmentioning，thatofallthepeoplewhocometothisgate，thesecretofthosepullsisonlyknowntotheAged，MissSkiffins，andme！\'

`AndMrWemmickmadethem，\'addedMissSkiffins，`withhisownhandsoutofhisownhead。\'

WhileMissSkiffinswastakingoffherbonnet(sheretainedhergreenglovesduringtheeveningasanoutwardandvisiblesignthattherewascompany)，Wemmickinvitedmetotakeawalkwithhimroundtheproperty，andseehowtheislandlookedinwintertime。ThinkingthathedidthistogivemeanopportunityoftakinghisWalworthsentiments，IseizedtheopportunityassoonaswewereoutoftheCastle。

Havingthoughtofthematterwithcare，IapproachedmysubjectasifIhadneverhintedatitbefore。IinformedWemmickthatIwasanxiousinbehalfofHerbertPocket，andItoldhimhowwehadfirstmet，andhowwehadfought。IglancedatHerbert\'shome，andathischaracter，andathishavingnomeansbutsuchashewasdependentonhisfatherfor:those，uncertainandunpunctual。

IalludedtotheadvantagesIhadderivedinmyfirstrawnessandignorancefromhissociety，andIconfessedthatIfearedIhadbutillrepaidthem，andthathemighthavedonebetterwithoutmeandmyexpectations。KeepingMissHavishaminthebackgroundatagreatdistance，Istillhintedatthepossibilityofmyhavingcompetedwithhiminhisprospects，andatthecertaintyofhispossessingageneroussoul，andbeingfaraboveanymeandistrusts，retaliations，ordesigns。Forallthesereasons(ItoldWemmick)，andbecausehewasmyyoungcompanionandfriend，andIhadagreataffectionforhim，Iwishedmyowngoodfortunetoreflectsomeraysuponhim，andthereforeIsoughtadvicefromWemmick\'sexperienceandknowledgeofmenandaffairs，howIcouldbesttrywithmyresourcestohelpHerberttosomepresentincome-sayofahundredayear，tokeephimingoodhopeandheart-andgraduallytobuyhimontosomesmallpartnership。IbeggedWemmick，inconclusion，tounderstandthatmyhelpmustalwaysberenderedwithoutHerbert\'sknowledgeorsuspicion，andthattherewasnooneelseintheworldwithwhomIcouldadvise。Iwoundupbylayingmyhanduponhisshoulder，andsaying，`Ican\'thelpconfidinginyou，thoughIknowitmustbetroublesometoyou；butthatisyourfault，inhavingeverbroughtmehere。\'

Wemmickwassilentforalittlewhile，andthensaidwithakindofstart，`Wellyouknow，MrPip，Imusttellyouonething。Thisisdevilishgoodofyou。\'

`Sayyou\'llhelpmetobegoodthen，\'saidI。

`Ecod，\'repliedWemmick，shakinghishead，`that\'snotmytrade。\'

`Noristhisyourtrading-place，\'saidI。

`Youareright，\'hereturned。`Youhitthenailonthehead。MrPip，I\'llputonmyconsidering-cap，andIthinkallyouwanttodo，maybedonebydegrees。Skiffins(that\'sherbrother)isanaccountantandagent。

I\'lllookhimupandgotoworkforyou。\'

`Ithankyoutenthousandtimes。\'

`Onthecontrary，\'saidhe，`Ithankyou，forthoughwearestrictlyinourprivateandpersonalcapacity，stillitmaybementionedthatthereareNewgatecobwebsabout，anditbrushesthemaway。\'

Afteralittlefurtherconversationtothesameeffect，wereturnedintotheCastlewherewefoundMissSkiffinspreparingtea。TheresponsibledutyofmakingthetoastwasdelegatedtotheAged，andthatexcellentoldgentlemanwassointentuponitthatheseemedtomeinsomedangerofmeltinghiseyes。Itwasnonominalmealthatweweregoingtomake，butavigorousreality。TheAgedpreparedsuchahaystackofbutteredtoast，thatIcouldscarcelyseehimoveritasitsimmeredonanironstandhookedontothetop-bar；whileMissSkiffinsbrewedsuchajorumoftea，thatthepiginthebackpremisesbecamestronglyexcited，andrepeatedlyexpressedhisdesiretoparticipateintheentertainment。

Theflaghadbeenstruck，andthegunhadbeenfired，attherightmomentoftime，andIfeltassnuglycutofffromtherestofWalworthasifthemoatwerethirtyfeetwidebyasmanydeep。NothingdisturbedthetranquillityoftheCastle，buttheoccasionaltumblingopenofJohnandMissSkiffins:

whichlittledoorswereapreytosomespasmodicinfirmitythatmademesympatheticallyuncomfortableuntilIgotusedtoit。IinferredfromthemethodicalnatureofMissSkiffins\'sarrangementsthatshemadeteathereeverySundaynight；andIrathersuspectedthataclassicbroochshewore，representingtheprofileofanundesirablefemalewithaverystraightnoseandaverynewmoon，wasapieceofportablepropertythathadbeengivenherbyWemmick。

Weatethewholeofthetoast，anddrankteainproportion，anditwasdelightfultoseehowwarmandgreasyweallgotafterit。TheAgedespecially，mighthavepassedforsomecleanoldchiefofasavagetribe，justoiled。

Afterashortpauseofrepose，MissSkiffins-intheabsenceofthelittleservantwho，itseemed，retiredtothebosomofherfamilyonSundayafternoons-washedupthetea-things，inatriflinglady-likeamateurmannerthatcompromisednoneofus。Then，sheputonherglovesagain，andwedrewroundthefire，andWemmicksaid，`NowAgedParent，tipusthepaper。\'