第3章

Shewonthegame，andIdealt。Imisdealt，aswasonlynatural，whenIknewshewaslyinginwaitformetodowrong；andshedenouncedmeforastupid，clumsylabouring-boy。

`Yousaynothingofher，\'remarkedMissHavishamtome，asshelookedon。`Shesaysmanyhardthingsofyou，butyousaynothingofher。Whatdoyouthinkofher？\'

`Idon\'tliketosay，\'Istammered。

`Tellmeinmyear，\'saidMissHavisham，bendingdown。

`Ithinksheisveryproud，\'Ireplied，inawhisper。

`Anythingelse？\'

`Ithinksheisverypretty。\'

`Anythingelse？\'

`Ithinksheisveryinsulting。\'(Shewaslookingatmethenwithalookofsupremeaversion。)

`Anythingelse？\'

`IthinkIshouldliketogohome。\'

`Andneverseeheragain，thoughsheissopretty？\'

`IamnotsurethatIshouldn\'tliketoseeheragain，butIshouldliketogohomenow。\'

`Youshallgosoon，\'saidMissHavisham，aloud。`Playthegameout。\'

Savingfortheoneweirdsmileatfirst，IshouldhavefeltalmostsurethatMissHavisham\'sfacecouldnotsmile。Ithaddroppedintoawatchfulandbroodingexpression-mostlikelywhenallthethingsaboutherhadbecometransfixed-anditlookedasifnothingcouldeverliftitupagain。

Herchesthaddropped，sothatshestooped；andhervoicehaddropped，sothatshespokelow，andwithadeadlulluponher；altogether，shehadtheappearanceofhavingdropped，bodyandsoul，withinandwithout，undertheweightofacrushingblow。

IplayedthegametoanendwithEstella，andshebeggaredme。Shethrewthecardsdownonthetablewhenshehadwonthemall，asifshedespisedthemforhavingbeenwonofme。

`WhenshallIhaveyouhereagain？\'saidmissHavisham。`Letmethink。\'

Iwasbeginningtoremindherthatto-daywasWednesday，whenshecheckedmewithherformerimpatientmovementofthefingersofherrighthand。

`There，there！Iknownothingofdaysoftheweek；Iknownothingofweeksoftheyear。Comeagainaftersixdays。Youhear？\'

`Yes，ma\'am。\'

`Estella，takehimdown。Lethimhavesomethingtoeat，andlethimroamandlookabouthimwhileheeats。Go，Pip。\'

Ifollowedthecandledown，asIhadfollowedthecandleup，andshestooditintheplacewherewehadfoundit。Untilsheopenedthesideentrance，Ihadfancied，withoutthinkingaboutit，thatitmustnecessarilybenight-time。Therushofthedaylightquiteconfoundedme，andmademefeelasifIhadbeeninthecandlelightofthestrangeroommanyhours。

`Youaretowaithere，youboy，\'saidEstella；anddisappearedandclosedthedoor。

Itooktheopportunityofbeingaloneinthecourt-yard，tolookatmycoarsehandsandmycommonboots。Myopinionofthoseaccessorieswasnotfavourable。Theyhadnevertroubledmebefore，buttheytroubledmenow，asvulgarappendages。IdeterminedtoaskJoewhyhehadevertaughtmetocallthosepicture-cards，Jacks，whichoughttobecalledknaves。

IwishedJoehadbeenrathermoregenteellybroughtup，andthenIshouldhavebeensotoo。

Shecameback，withsomebreadandmeatandalittlemugofbeer。Sheputthemugdownonthestonesoftheyard，andgavemethebreadandmeatwithoutlookingatme，asinsolentlyasifIwereadogindisgrace。I

wassohumiliated，hurt，spurned，offended，angry，sorry-Icannothitupontherightnameforthesmart-Godknowswhatitsnamewas-thattearsstartedtomyeyes。Themomenttheysprangthere，thegirllookedatmewithaquickdelightinhavingbeenthecauseofthem。Thisgavemepowertokeepthembackandtolookather:so，shegaveacontemptuoustoss-butwithasense，Ithought，ofhavingmadetoosurethatIwassowounded-andleftme。

But，whenshewasgone，Ilookedaboutmeforaplacetohidemyfacein，andgotbehindoneofthegatesinthebrewery-lane，andleanedmysleeveagainstthewallthere，andleanedmyforeheadonitandcried。

AsIcried，Ikickedthewall，andtookahardtwistatmyhair；sobitterweremyfeelings，andsosharpwasthesmartwithoutaname，thatneededcounteraction。

Mysister\'sbringinguphadmademesensitive。Inthelittleworldinwhichchildrenhavetheirexistencewhosoeverbringsthemup，thereisnothingsofinelyperceivedandsofinelyfelt，asinjustice。Itmaybeonlysmallinjusticethatthechildcanbeexposedto；butthechildissmall，anditsworldissmall，anditsrocking-horsestandsasmanyhandshigh，accordingtoscale，asabig-bonedIrishhunter。Withinmyself，I

hadsustained，frommybabyhood，aperpetualconflictwithinjustice。I

hadknown，fromthetimewhenIcouldspeak，thatmysister，inhercapriciousandviolentcoercion，wasunjusttome。Ihadcherishedaprofoundconvictionthatherbringingmeupbyhand，gavehernorighttobringmeupbyjerks。

Throughallmypunishments，disgraces，fastsandvigils，andotherpenitentialperformances，Ihadnursedthisassurance；andtomycommuningsomuchwithit，inasolitaryandunprotectedway，IingreatpartreferthefactthatIwasmorallytimidandverysensitive。

Igotridofmyinjuredfeelingsforthetime，bykickingthemintothebrewerywall，andtwistingthemoutofmyhair，andthenIsmoothedmyfacewithmysleeve，andcamefrombehindthegate。Thebreadandmeatwereacceptable，andthebeerwaswarmingandtingling，andIwassooninspiritstolookaboutme。

Tobesure，itwasadesertedplace，downtothepigeon-houseinthebrewery-yard，whichhadbeenblowncrookedonitspolebysomehighwind，andwouldhavemadethepigeonsthinkthemselvesatsea，iftherehadbeenanypigeonstheretoberockedbyit。But，therewerenopigeonsinthedove-cot，nohorsesinthestable，nopigsinthesty，nomaltinthestore-house，nosmellsofgrainsandbeerinthecopperorthevat。Alltheusesandscentsofthebrewerymighthaveevaporatedwithitslastreekofsmoke。

Inaby-yard，therewasawildernessofemptycasks，whichhadacertainsourremembranceofbetterdayslingeringaboutthem；butitwastoosourtobeacceptedasasampleofthebeerthatwasgone-andinthisrespectIrememberthosereclusesasbeinglikemostothers。

Behindthefurthestendofthebrewery，wasarankgardenwithanoldwall:notsohighbutthatIcouldstruggleupandholdonlongenoughtolookoverit，andseethattherankgardenwasthegardenofthehouse，andthatitwasovergrownwithtangledweeds，butthattherewasatrackuponthegreenandyellowpaths，asifsomeonesometimeswalkedthere，andthatEstellawaswalkingawayfrommeeventhen。Butsheseemedtobeeverywhere。For，whenIyieldedtothetemptationpresentedbythecasks，andbegantowalkonthem。Isawherwalkingonthemattheendoftheyardofcasks。Shehadherbacktowardsme，andheldherprettybrownhairspreadoutinhertwohands，andneverlookedround，andpassedoutofmyviewdirectly。So，inthebreweryitself-bywhichImeanthelargepavedloftyplaceinwhichtheyusedtomakethebeer，andwherethebrewingutensilsstillwere。WhenIfirstwentintoit，and，ratheroppressedbyitsgloom，stoodnearthedoorlookingaboutme，Isawherpassamongtheextinguishedfires，andascendsomelightironstairs，andgooutbyagalleryhighoverhead，asifsheweregoingoutintothesky。

Itwasinthisplace，andatthismoment，thatastrangethinghappenedtomyfancy。Ithoughtitastrangethingthen，andIthoughtitastrangerthinglongafterwards。Iturnedmyeyes-alittledimmedbylookingupatthefrostylight-towardsagreatwoodenbeaminalownookofthebuildingnearmeonmyrighthand，andIsawafigurehangingtherebytheneck。Afigureallinyellowwhite，withbutoneshoetothefeet；

andithungso，thatIcouldseethatthefadedtrimmingsofthedresswerelikeearthypaper，andthatthefacewasMissHavisham\'s，withamovementgoingoverthewholecountenanceasifsheweretryingtocalltome。Intheterrorofseeingthefigure，andintheterrorofbeingcertainthatithadnotbeenthereamomentbefore，Iatfirstranfromit，andthenrantowardsit。Andmyterrorwasgreatestofall，whenIfoundnofigurethere。

Nothinglessthanthefrostylightofthecheerfulsky，thesightofpeoplepassingbeyondthebarsofthecourt-yardgate，andtherevivinginfluenceoftherestofthebreadandmeatandbeer，wouldhavebroughtmeround。Evenwiththoseaids，ImightnothavecometomyselfassoonasIdid，butthatIsawEstellaapproachingwiththekeys，toletmeout。

Shewouldhavesomefairreasonforlookingdownuponme，Ithought，ifshesawmefrightened；andsheshouldhavenofairreason。

Shegavemeatriumphantglanceinpassingme，asifsherejoicedthatmyhandsweresocoarseandmybootsweresothick，andsheopenedthegate，andstoodholdingit。Iwaspassingoutwithoutlookingather，whenshetouchedmewithatauntinghand。

`Whydon\'tyoucry？\'

`BecauseIdon\'twantto。\'

`Youdo，\'saidshe。`Youhavebeencryingtillyouarehalfblind，andyouarenearcryingagainnow。\'

Shelaughedcontemptuously，pushedmeout，andlockedthegateuponme。IwentstraighttoMrPumblechook\'s，andwasimmenselyrelievedtofindhimnotathome。So，leavingwordwiththeshopmanonwhatdayIwaswantedatMissHavisham\'sagain，Isetoffonthefour-milewalktoourforge；pondering，asIwentalong，onallIhadseen，anddeeplyrevolvingthatIwasacommonlabouring-boy；thatmyhandswerecoarse；thatmybootswerethick；thatIhadfallenintoadespicablehabitofcallingknavesJacks；thatIwasmuchmoreignorantthanIhadconsideredmyselflastnight，andgenerallythatIwasinalow-livedbadway。

Chapter9

WHENIreachedhome，mysisterwasverycurioustoknowallaboutMissHavisham\'s，andaskedanumberofquestions。AndIsoonfoundmyselfgettingheavilybumpedfrombehindinthenapeoftheneckandthesmalloftheback，andhavingmyfaceignominiouslyshovedagainstthekitchenwall，becauseIdidnotanswerthosequestionsatsufficientlength。

Ifadreadofnotbeingunderstoodbehiddeninthebreastsofotheryoungpeopletoanythingliketheextenttowhichitusedtobehiddeninmine-whichIconsiderprobable，asIhavenoparticularreasontosuspectmyselfofhavingbeenamonstrosity-itisthekeytomanyreservations。

IfeltconvincedthatifIdescribedMissHavisham\'sasmyeyeshadseenit，Ishouldnotbeunderstood。Notonlythat，butIfeltconvincedthatMissHavishamtoowouldnotbeunderstood；andalthoughshewasperfectlyincomprehensibletome，Ientertainedanimpressionthattherewouldbesomethingcoarseandtreacherousinmydraggingherasshereallywas(tosaynothingofMissEstella)beforethecontemplationofMrsJoe。Consequently，IsaidaslittleasIcould，andhadmyfaceshovedagainstthekitchenwall。

TheworstofitwasthatthatbullyingoldPumblechook，preyeduponbyadevouringcuriositytobeinformedofallIhadseenandheard，camegapingoverinhischaise-cartattea-time，tohavethedetailsdivulgedtohim。Andthemeresightofthetorment，withhisfishyeyesandmouthopen，hissandyhairinquisitivelyonend，andhiswaistcoatheavingwithwindyarithmetic，mademeviciousinmyreticence。

`Well，boy，\'UnclePumblechookbegan，assoonashewasseatedinthechairofhonourbythefire。`Howdidyougetonuptown？\'

Ianswered，`Prettywell，sir，\'andmysistershookherfistatme。

`Prettywell？\'Mr。Pumblechookrepeated。`Prettywellisnoanswer。

Telluswhatyoumeanbyprettywell，boy？\'

Whitewashontheforeheadhardensthebrainintoastateofobstinacyperhaps。Anyhow，withwhitewashfromthewallonmyforehead，myobstinacywasadamantine。Ireflectedforsometime，andthenansweredasifIhaddiscoveredanewidea，`Imeanprettywell。\'

Mysisterwithanexclamationofimpatiencewasgoingtoflyatme-

Ihadnoshadowofdefence，forJoewasbusyintheforgewhenMrPumblechookinterposedwith`No！Don\'tloseyourtemper。Leavethisladtome，ma\'am；

leavethisladtome。\'MrPumblechookthenturnedmetowardshim，asifheweregoingtocutmyhair，andsaid:

`First(togetourthoughtsinorder):Forty-threepence？\'

Icalculatedtheconsequencesofreplying`FourHundredPound，\'andfindingthemagainstme，wentasneartheanswerasIcould-whichwassomewhereabouteightpenceoff。MrPumblechookthenputmethroughmypence-tablefrom`twelvepencemakeoneshilling，\'upto`fortypencemakethreeandfourpence，\'andthentriumphantlydemanded，asifhehaddoneforme，`Now！Howmuchisforty-threepence？\'TowhichIreplied，afteralongintervalofreflection，`Idon\'tknow。\'AndIwassoaggravatedthatIalmostdoubtifIdidknow。

MrPumblechookworkedhisheadlikeascrewtoscrewitoutofme，andsaid，`Isforty-threepencesevenandsixpencethreefardens，forinstance？\'

`Yes！\'saidI。Andalthoughmysisterinstantlyboxedmyears，itwashighlygratifyingtometoseethattheanswerspoilthisjoke，andbroughthimtoadeadstop。

`Boy！WhatlikeisMissHavisham？\'MrPumblechookbeganagainwhenhehadrecovered；foldinghisarmstightonhischestandapplyingthescrew。

`Verytallanddark，\'Itoldhim。

`Isshe，uncle？\'askedmysister。

MrPumblechookwinkedassent；fromwhichIatonceinferredthathehadneverseenMissHavisham，forshewasnothingofthekind。

`Good！\'saidMrPumblechookconceitedly。(`Thisisthewaytohavehim！

Wearebeginningtoholdourown，Ithink，Mum？\')

`Iamsure，uncle，\'returnedMrsJoe，`Iwishyouhadhimalways:youknowsowellhowtodealwithhim。\'

`Now，boy！Whatwassheadoingof，whenyouwentintoday？\'askedMrPumblechook。

`Shewassitting，\'Ianswered，`inablackvelvetcoach。\'

MrPumblechookandMrsJoestaredatoneanother-astheywellmight-andbothrepeated，`Inablackvelvetcoach？\'

`Yes，\'saidI。`AndMissEstella-that\'sherniece，Ithink-handedherincakeandwineatthecoach-window，onagoldplate。Andweallhadcakeandwineongoldplates。AndIgotupbehindthecoachtoeatmine，becauseshetoldmeto。\'

`Wasanybodyelsethere？\'askedMrPumblechook。

`Fourdogs，\'saidI。

`Largeorsmall？\'

`Immense，\'saidI。`Andtheyfoughtforvealcutletsoutofasilverbasket。\'

MrPumblechookandMrsJoestaredatoneanotheragain，inutteramazement。

Iwasperfectlyfrantic-arecklesswitnessunderthetorture-andwouldhavetoldthemanything。

`Wherewasthiscoach，inthenameofgracious？\'askedmysister。

`InMissHavisham\'sroom。\'Theystaredagain。`Butthereweren\'tanyhorsestoit。\'Iaddedthissavingclause，inthemomentofrejectingfourrichlycaparisonedcourserswhichIhadhadwildthoughtsofharnessing。

`Canthisbepossible，uncle？\'askedMrsJoe。`Whatcantheboymean？\'

`I\'lltellyou，Mum，\'saidMrPumblechook。`Myopinionis，it\'sasedan-chair。

She\'sflighty，youknow-veryflighty-quiteflightyenoughtopassherdaysinasedan-chair。\'

`Didyoueverseeherinit，uncle？\'askedMrsJoe。

`HowcouldI，\'hereturned，forcedtotheadmission，`whenIneverseeherinmylife？Neverclappedeyesuponher！\'

`Goodness，uncle！Andyetyouhavespokentoher？\'

`Why，don\'tyouknow，\'saidMrPumblechook，testily，`thatwhenIhavebeenthere，Ihavebeentookuptotheoutsideofherdoor，andthedoorhasstoodajar，andshehasspoketomethatway。Don\'tsayyoudon\'tknowthat，Mum。Howsever，theboywenttheretoplay。Whatdidyouplayat，boy？\'

`Weplayedwithflags，\'Isaid。(IbegtoobservethatIthinkofmyselfwithamazement，whenIrecalltheliesItoldonthisoccasion。)

`Flags！\'echoedmysister。

`Yes，\'saidI。`Estellawavedablueflag，andIwavedaredone，andMissHavishamwavedonesprinkledalloverwithlittlegoldstars，outatthecoach-window。Andthenweallwavedourswordsandhurrahed。\'

`Swords！\'repeatedmysister。`Wheredidyougetswordsfrom？\'

`Outofacupboard，\'sandI。`AndIsawpistolsinit-andjam-andpills。Andtherewasnodaylightintheroom，butitwasalllightedupwithcandles。\'

`That\'strue，Mum，\'saidMrPumblechook，withagravenod。`That\'sthestateofthecase，forthatmuchI\'veseenmyself。\'Andthentheybothstaredatme，andI，withanobtrusiveshowofartlessnessonmycountenance，staredatthem，andplaitedtherightlegofmytrouserswithmyrighthand。

IftheyhadaskedmeanymorequestionsIshouldundoubtedlyhavebetrayedmyself，forIwaseventhenonthepointofmentioningthattherewasaballoonintheyard，andshouldhavehazardedthestatementbutformyinventionbeingdividedbetweenthatphenomenonandabearinthebrewery。

Theyweresomuchoccupied，however，indiscussingthemarvelsIhadalreadypresentedfortheirconsideration，thatIescaped。ThesubjectstillheldthemwhenJoecameinfromhisworktohaveacupoftea。Towhommysister，moreforthereliefofherownmindthanforthegratificationofhis，relatedmypretendedexperiences。

Now，whenIsawJoeopenhisblueeyesandrollthemallroundthekitcheninhelplessamazement，Iwasovertakenbypenitence；butonlyasregardedhim-notintheleastasregardedtheothertwo。TowardsJoe，andJoeonly，Iconsideredmyselfayoungmonster，whiletheysatdebatingwhatresultswouldcometomefromMissHavisham\'sacquaintanceandfavour。

TheyhadnodoubtthatMissHavishamwould`dosomething\'forme；theirdoubtsrelatedtotheformthatsomethingwouldtake。Mysisterstoodoutfor`property。\'MrPumblechookwasinfavourofahandsomepremiumforbindingmeapprenticetosomegenteeltrade-say，thecornandseedtrade，forinstance。Joefellintothedeepestdisgracewithboth，forofferingthebrightsuggestionthatImightonlybepresentedwithoneofthedogswhohadfoughtfortheveal-cutlets。`Ifafool\'sheadcan\'texpressbetteropinionsthanthat，\'saidmysister，`andyouhavegotanyworktodo，youhadbettergoanddoit。\'Sohewent。

AfterMrPumblechookhaddrivenoff，andwhenmysisterwaswashingup，IstoleintotheforgetoJoe，andremainedbyhimuntilhehaddoneforthenight。ThenIsaid，`Beforethefiregoesout，Joe，Ishouldliketotellyousomething。\'

`Shouldyou，Pip？\'saidJoe，drawinghisshoeing-stoolneartheforge。

`Thentellus。Whatisit，Pip？\'

`Joe，\'saidI，takingholdofhisrolled-upshirtsleeve，andtwistingitbetweenmyfingerandthumb，`yourememberallthataboutMissHavisham\'s？\'

`Remember？\'saidJoe。`Ibelieveyou！Wonderful！\'

`It\'saterriblething，Joe；itain\'ttrue。\'

`Whatareyoutellingof，Pip？\'criedJoe，fallingbackinthegreatestamazement。`Youdon\'tmeantosayit\'s——\'

`YesIdo；it\'slies，Joe。\'

`Butnotallofit？Whysureyoudon\'tmeantosay，Pip，thattherewasnoblackwelwetco-eh？\'For，Istoodshakingmyhead。`Butatleasttherewasdogs，Pip？Come，Pip，\'saidJoe，persuasively，`iftherewarn\'tnoweal-cutlets，atleasttherewasdogs？\'

`No，Joe。\'

`Adog？\'saidJoe。`Apuppy？Come？\'

`No，Joe，therewasnothingatallofthekind。\'

AsIfixedmyeyeshopelesslyonJoe，Joecontemplatedmeindismay。

`Pip，oldchap！Thiswon\'tdo，oldfellow！Isay！Wheredoyouexpecttogoto？\'

`It\'sterrible，Joe；an\'tit？\'

`Terrible？\'criedJoe。`Awful！Whatpossessedyou？\'

`Idon\'tknowwhatpossessedme，Joe，\'Ireplied，lettinghisshirtsleevego，andsittingdownintheashesathisfeet，hangingmyhead；

`butIwishyouhadn\'ttaughtmetocallKnavesatcards，Jacks；andI

wishmybootsweren\'tsothicknotmyhandssocoarse。\'

AndthenItoldJoethatIfeltverymiserable，andthatIhadn\'tbeenabletoexplainmyselftoMrsJoeandPumblechookwhoweresorudetome，andthattherehadbeenabeautifulyoungladyatMissHavisham\'swhowasdreadfullyproud，andthatshehadsaidIwascommon，andthatIknewI

wascommon，andthatIwishedIwasnotcommon，andthatthelieshadcomeofitsomehow，thoughIdidn\'tknowhow。

Thiswasacaseofmetaphysics，atleastasdifficultforJoetodealwith，asforme。ButJoetookthecasealtogetheroutoftheregionofmetaphysics，andbythatmeansvanquishedit。

`There\'sonethingyoumaybesureof，Pip，\'saidJoe，aftersomerumination，`namely，thatliesislies。Howsevertheycome，theydidn\'toughttocome，andtheycomefromthefatheroflies，andworkroundtothesame。Don\'tyoutellnomoreof\'em，Pip。Thatain\'tthewaytogetoutofbeingcommon，oldchap。Andastobeingcommon，Idon\'tmakeitoutatallclear。

Youareoncommoninsomethings。You\'reoncommonsmall。Likewiseyou\'reaoncommonscholar。\'

`No，Iamignorantandbackward，Joe。\'

`Why，seewhataletteryouwrotelastnight！Wroteinprinteven！I\'veseenletters-Ah！andfromgentlefolks！-thatI\'llswearweren\'twroteinprint，\'saidJoe。

`Ihavelearntnexttonothing，Joe。Youthinkmuchofme。It\'sonlythat。\'

`Well，Pip，\'saidJoe，`beitsoorbeitson\'t，youmustbeacommonscholaraforeyoucanbeaoncommonone，Ishouldhope！Thekinguponhisthrone，withhiscrownuponhis\'ed，can\'tsitandwritehisactsofParliamentinprint，withouthavingbegun，whenhewereaunpromotedPrince，withthealphabet-Ah！\'addedJoe，withashakeoftheheadthatwasfullofmeaning，`andbegunatAtoo，andworkedhiswaytoZ。AndIknowwhatthatistodo，thoughIcan\'tsayI\'veexactlydoneit。\'

Therewassomehopeinthispieceofwisdom，anditratherencouragedme。

`Whethercommononesastocallingsandearnings，\'pursuedJoe，reflectively，`mightn\'tbethebetterofcontinuingforakeepcompanywithcommonones，insteadofgoingouttoplaywithoncommonones-whichremindsmetohopethattherewereaflag，perhaps？\'

`No，Joe。\'

`(I\'msorrythereweren\'taflag，Pip)。Whetherthatmightbe，ormightn\'tbe，isathingascan\'tbelookedintonow，withoutputtingyoursisterontheRampage；andthat\'sathingnottobethoughtof，asbeingdoneintentional。Lookeehere，Pip，atwhatissaidtoyoubyatruefriend。

Whichthistoyouthetruefriendsay。Ifyoucan\'tgettobeoncommonthroughgoingstraight，you\'llnevergettodoitthroughgoingcrooked。

Sodon\'ttellnomoreon\'em，Pip，andlivewellanddiehappy。\'

`Youarenotangrywithme，Joe？\'

`No，oldchap。ButbearinginmindthatthemwerewhichImeantersayofastunningandoutdacioussort-alludingtothemwhichborderedonweal-cutletsanddog-fighting-asincerewellwisherwouldadwise，Pip，theirbeingdroppedintoyourmeditations，whenyougoup-stairstobed。

That\'sall，oldchap，anddon\'tneverdoitnomore。\'

WhenIgotuptomylittleroomandsaidmyprayers，IdidnotforgetJoe\'srecommendation，andyetmyyoungmindwasinthatdisturbedandunthankfulstate，thatIthoughtlongafterIlaidmedown，howcommonEstellawouldconsiderJoe，amereblacksmith:howthickhisboots，andhowcoarsehishands。IthoughthowJoeandmysisterwerethensittinginthekitchen，andhowIhadcomeuptobedfromthekitchen，andhowMissHavishamandEstellaneversatinakitchen，butwerefarabovethelevelofsuchcommondoings。IfellasleeprecallingwhatI`usedtodo\'whenIwasatMissHavisham\'s；asthoughIhadbeenthereweeksormonths，insteadofhours；

andasthoughitwerequiteanoldsubjectofremembrance，insteadofonethathadarisenonlythatday。

Thatwasamemorabledaytome，foritmadegreatchangesinme。But，itisthesamewithanylife。Imagineoneselecteddaystruckoutofit，andthinkhowdifferentitscoursewouldhavebeen。Pauseyouwhoreadthis，andthinkforamomentofthelongchainofironorgold，ofthornsorflowers，thatwouldneverhaveboundyou，butfortheformationofthefirstlinkononememorableday。

Chapter10

THEfelicitousideaoccurredtomeamorningortwolaterwhenIwoke，thatthebeststepIcouldtaketowardsmakingmyselfuncommonwastogetoutofBiddyeverythingsheknew。InpursuanceofthisluminousconceptionImentionedtoBiddywhenIwenttoMrWopsle\'sgreat-aunt\'satnight，thatIhadaparticularreasonforwishingtogetoninlife，andthatIshouldfeelverymuchobligedtoherifshewouldimpartallherlearningtome。Biddy，whowasthemostobligingofgirls，immediatelysaidshewould，andindeedbegantocarryoutherpromisewithinfiveminutes。

TheEducationalschemeorCourseestablishedbyMrWopsle\'sgreat-auntmayberesolvedintothefollowingsynopsis。Thepupilsateapplesandputstrawsdownoneanother\'sbacks，untilMrWopsle\'sgreat-auntcollectedherenergies，andmadeanindiscriminatetotteratthemwithabirch-rod。

Afterreceivingthechargewitheverymarkofderision，thepupilsformedinlineandbuzzinglypassedaraggedbookfromhandtohand。Thebookhadanalphabetinit，somefiguresandtables，andalittlespelling-

thatistosay，ithadhadonce。Assoonasthisvolumebegantocirculate，MrWopsle\'sgreat-auntfellintoastateofcoma；arisingeitherfromsleeporarheumaticparoxysm。ThepupilsthenenteredamongthemselvesuponacompetitiveexaminationonthesubjectofBoots，withtheviewofascertainingwhocouldtreadthehardestuponwhosetoes。ThismentalexerciselasteduntilBiddymadearushatthemanddistributedthreedefacedBibles(shapedasiftheyhadbeenunskilfullycutoffthechump-endofsomething)，moreillegiblyprintedatthebestthananycuriositiesofliteratureIhavesincemetwith，speckledalloverwithironmould，andhavingvariousspecimensoftheinsectworldsmashedbetweentheirleaves。ThispartoftheCoursewasusuallylightenedbyseveralsinglecombatsbetweenBiddyandrefractorystudents。Whenthefightswereover，Biddygaveoutthenumberofapage，andthenweallreadaloudwhatwecould-orwhatwecouldn\'t-inafrightfulchorus；Biddyleadingwithahighshrillmonotonousvoice，andnoneofushavingtheleastnotionof，orreverencefor，whatwewerereadingabout。

Whenthishorribledinhadlastedacertaintime，itmechanicallyawokeMrWopsle\'sgreat-aunt，whostaggeredataboyfortuitously，andpulledhisears。ThiswasunderstoodtoterminatetheCoursefortheevening，andweemergedintotheairwithshrieksofintellectualvictory。Itisfairtoremarkthattherewasnoprohibitionagainstanypupil\'sentertaininghimselfwithaslateorevenwiththeink(whentherewasany)，butthatitwasnoteasytopursuethatbranchofstudyinthewinterseason，onaccountofthelittlegeneralshopinwhichtheclasseswereholden-andwhichwasalsoMrWopsle\'sgreat-aunt\'ssitting-roomandbed-chamber-

beingbutfaintlyilluminatedthroughtheagencyofonelow-spiriteddip-candleandnosnuffers。

Itappearedtomethatitwouldtaketime，tobecomeuncommonunderthesecircumstances:nevertheless，Iresolvedtotryit，andthatveryeveningBiddyenteredonourspecialagreement，byimpartingsomeinformationfromherlittlecatalogueofPrices，undertheheadofmoistsugar，andlendingme，tocopyathome，alargeoldEnglishDwhichshehadimitatedfromtheheadingofsomenewspaper，andwhichIsupposed，untilshetoldmewhatitwas，tobeadesignforabuckle。

Ofcoursetherewasapublic-houseinthevillage，andofcourseJoelikedsometimestosmokehispipethere。IhadreceivedstrictordersfrommysistertocallforhimattheThreeJollyBargemen，thatevening，onmywayfromschool，andbringhimhomeatmyperil。TotheThreeJollyBargemen，therefore，Idirectedmysteps。

TherewasabarattheJollyBargemen，withsomealarminglylongchalkscoresinitonthewallatthesideofthedoor，whichseemedtometobeneverpaidoff。TheyhadbeenthereeversinceIcouldremember，andhadgrownmorethanIhad。Buttherewasaquantityofchalkaboutourcountry，andperhapsthepeopleneglectednoopportunityofturningittoaccount。

ItbeingSaturdaynight，Ifoundthelandlordlookingrathergrimlyattheserecords，butasmybusinesswaswithJoeandnotwithhim，Imerelywishedhimgoodevening，andpassedintothecommonroomattheendofthepassage，wheretherewasabrightlargekitchenfire，andwhereJoewassmokinghispipeincompanywithMrWopsleandastranger。Joegreetedmeasusualwith`Halloa，Pip，oldchap！\'andthemomenthesaidthat，thestrangerturnedhisheadandlookedatme。

Hewasasecret-lookingmanwhomIhadneverseenbefore。Hisheadwasallononeside，andoneofhiseyeswashalfshutup，asifheweretakingaimatsomethingwithaninvisiblegun。Hehadapipeinhismouth，andhetookitout，and，afterslowlyblowingallhissmokeawayandlookinghardatmeallthetime，nodded。So，Inodded，andthenhenoddedagain，andmaderoomonthesettlebesidehimthatImightsitdownthere。

But，asIwasusedtositbesideJoewheneverIenteredthatplaceofresort，Isaid`No，thankyou，sir，\'andfellintothespaceJoemadeformeontheoppositesettle。Thestrangeman，afterglancingatJoe，andseeingthathisattentionwasotherwiseengaged，noddedtomeagainwhenIhadtakenmyseat，andthenrubbedhisleg-inaveryoddway，asitstruckme。

`Youwassaying，\'saidthestrangeman，turningtoJoe，`thatyouwasablacksmith。\'

`Yes。Isaidit，youknow，\'saidJoe。

`What\'llyoudrink，Mr-？Youdidn\'tmentionyourname，by-the-bye。\'

Joementioneditnow，andthestrangemancalledhimbyit。`What\'llyoudrink，MrGargery？Atmyexpense？Totopupwith？\'

`Well，\'saidJoe，`totellyouthetruth，Iain\'tmuchinthehabitofdrinkingatanybody\'sexpensebutmyown。\'

`Habit？No，\'returnedthestranger，`butonceandaway，andonaSaturdaynighttoo。Come！Putanametoit，MrGargery。\'

`Iwouldn\'twishtobestiffcompany，\'saidJoe。`Rum。\'

`Rum，\'repeatedthestranger。`Andwilltheothergentlemanoriginateasentiment。\'

`Rum，\'saidMrWopsle。

`ThreeRums！\'criedthestranger，callingtothelandlord。`Glassesround！\'

`Thisothergentleman，\'observedJoe，bywayofintroducingMrWopsle，`isagentlemanthatyouwouldliketoheargiveitout。Ourclerkatchurch。\'

`Aha！\'saidthestranger，quickly，andcockinghiseyeatme。`Thelonelychurch，rightoutonthemarshes，withgravesroundit！\'

`That\'sit，\'saidJoe。

Thestranger，withacomfortablekindofgruntoverhispipe，puthislegsuponthesettlethathehadtohimself。Heworeaflappingbroad-brimmedtraveller\'shat，andunderitahandkerchieftiedoverhisheadinthemannerofacap:sothatheshowednohair。Ashelookedatthefire，I

thoughtIsawacunningexpression，followedbyahalf-laugh，comeintohisface。

`Iamnotacquaintedwiththiscountry，gentlemen，butitseemsasolitarycountrytowardstheriver。\'

`Mostmarshesissolitary，\'saidJoe。

`Nodoubt，nodoubt。Doyoufindanygipsies，now，ortramps，orvagrantsofanysort，outthere？\'

`No，\'saidJoe；`nonebutarunawayconvictnowandthen。Andwedon\'tfindthem，easy。Eh，MrWopsle？\'

MrWopsle，withamajesticremembranceofolddiscomfiture，assented；

butnotwarmly。

`Seemsyouhavebeenoutaftersuch？\'askedthestranger。

`Once，\'returnedJoe。`Notthatwewantedtotakethem，youunderstand；

wewentoutaslookerson；me，andMrWopsle，andPip。Didn\'tus，Pip？\'

`Yes，Joe。\'

Thestrangerlookedatmeagain-stillcockinghiseye，asifhewereexpresslytakingaimatmewithhisinvisiblegun-andsaid，`He\'salikelyyoungparcelofbonesthat。Whatisityoucallhim？\'

`Pip，\'saidJoe。

`ChristenedPip？\'

`No，notchristenedPip。\'

`SurnamePip？\'

`No，\'saidJoe，`it\'sakindoffamilynamewhathegavehimselfwhenainfant，andiscalledby。\'

`Sonofyours？\'

`Well，\'saidJoe，meditatively-not，ofcourse，thatitcouldbeinanywisenecessarytoconsideraboutit，butbecauseitwasthewayattheJollyBargementoseemtoconsiderdeeplyabouteverythingthatwasdiscussedoverpipes；`well-no。No，heain\'t。\'

`Nevvy？\'saidthestrangeman。

`Well，\'saidJoe，withthesameappearanceofprofoundcogitation，`heisnot-no，nottodeceiveyou，heisnot-mynevvy。\'

`WhattheBlueBlazesishe？\'askedthestranger。Whichappearedtometobeaninquiryofunnecessarystrength。

Mr。Wopslestruckinuponthat；asonewhoknewallaboutrelationships，havingprofessionaloccasiontobearinmindwhatfemalerelationsamanmightnotmarry；andexpoundedthetiesbetweenmeandJoe。Havinghishandin，MrWopslefinishedoffwithamostterrificallysnarlingpassagefromRichardtheThird，andseemedtothinkhehaddonequiteenoughtoaccountforitwhenheadded，-`asthepoetsays。\'

AndhereImayremarkthatwhenMrWopslereferredtome，heconsidereditanecessarypartofsuchreferencetorumplemyhairandpokeitintomyeyes。Icannotconceivewhyeverybodyofhisstandingwhovisitedatourhouseshouldalwayshaveputmethroughthesameinflammatoryprocessundersimilarcircumstances。YetIdonotcalltomindthatIwaseverinmyearlieryouththesubjectofremarkinoursocialfamilycircle，butsomelarge-handedpersontooksomesuchophthalmicstepstopatronizeme。

Allthiswhile，thestrangemanlookedatnobodybutme，andlookedatmeasifheweredeterminedtohaveashotatmeatlast，andbringmedown。ButhesaidnothingafterofferinghisBlueBlazesobservation，untiltheglassesofrum-and-waterwerebrought；andthenhemadehisshot，andamostextraordinaryshotitwas。

Itwasnotaverbalremark，butaproceedingindumpshow，andwaspointedlyaddressedtome。Hestirredhisrum-and-waterpointedlyatme，andhetastedhisrum-and-waterpointedlyatme。Andhestirreditandhetastedit:

notwithaspoonthatwasbroughttohim，butwithafile。

HedidthissothatnobodybutIsawthefile；andwhenhehaddoneithewipedthefileandputitinabreast-pocket。IknewittobeJoe\'sfile，andIknewthatheknewmyconvict，themomentIsawtheinstrument。

Isatgazingathim，spell-bound。Buthenowreclinedonhissettle，takingverylittlenoticeofme，andtalkingprincipallyaboutturnips。

Therewasadelicioussenseofcleaning-upandmakingaquietpausebeforegoingoninlifeafresh，inourvillageonSaturdaynights，whichstimulatedJoetodaretostayouthalfanhourlongeronSaturdaysthanatothertimes。Thehalfhourandtherum-and-waterrunningouttogether，Joegotuptogo，andtookmebythehand。

`Stophalfamoment，MrGargery，\'saidthestrangeman。`IthinkI\'vegotabrightnewshillingsomewhereinmypocket，andifIhave，theboyshallhaveit。\'

Helookeditoutfromahandfulofsmallchange，foldeditinsomecrumpledpaper，andgaveittome。`Yours！\'saidhe。`Mind！Yourown。\'

Ithankedhim，staringathimfarbeyondtheboundsofgoodmanners，andholdingtighttoJoe。HegaveJoegood-night，andhegaveMrWopslegood-night(whowentoutwithus)，andhegavemeonlyalookwithhisaimingeye-no，notalook，forheshutitup，butwondersmaybedonewithaneyebyhidingit。

Onthewayhome，ifIhadbeeninahumourfortalking，thetalkmusthavebeenallonmyside，forMrWopslepartedfromusatthedooroftheJollyBargemen，andJoewentallthewayhomewithhismouthwideopen，torinsetherumoutwithasmuchairaspossible。ButIwasinamannerstupefiedbythisturningupofmyoldmisdeedandoldacquaintance，andcouldthinkofnothingelse。

Mysisterwasnotinaverybadtemperwhenwepresentedourselvesinthekitchen，andJoewasencouragedbythatunusualcircumstancetotellheraboutthebrightshilling。`Abadun，I\'llbebound，\'saidMrsJoetriumphantly，`orhewouldn\'thavegivenittotheboy！Let\'slookatit。\'

Itookitoutofthepaper，anditprovedtobeagoodone。`Butwhat\'sthis？\'saidMrsJoe，throwingdowntheshillingandcatchingupthepaper。

`TwoOne-Poundnotes？\'

Nothinglessthantwofatswelteringone-poundnotesthatseemedtohavebeenontermsofthewarmestintimacywithallthecattlemarketsinthecounty。Joecaughtuphishatagain，andranwiththemtotheJollyBargementorestorethemtotheirowner。Whilehewasgone，Isatdownonmyusualstoolandlookedvacantlyatmysister，feelingprettysurethatthemanwouldnotbethere。

Presently，Joecameback，sayingthatthemanwasgone，butthathe，Joe，hadleftwordattheThreeJollyBargemenconcerningthenotes。Thenmysistersealedthemupinapieceofpaper，andputthemundersomedriedrose-leavesinanornamentaltea-potonthetopofapressinthestateparlour。Theretheyremained，anightmaretome，manyandmanyanightandday。

IhadsadlybrokensleepwhenIgottobed，throughthinkingofthestrangemantakingaimatmewithhisinvisiblegun，andoftheguiltilycoarseandcommonthingitwas，tobeonsecrettermsofconspiracywithconvicts-afeatureinmylowcareerthatIhadpreviouslyforgotten。

Iwashauntedbythefiletoo。AdreadpossessedmethatwhenIleastexpectedit，thefilewouldreappear。IcoaxedmyselftosleepbythinkingofMissHavisham\'s，nextWednesday；andinmysleepIsawthefilecomingatmeoutofadoor，withoutseeingwhoheldit，andIscreamedmyselfawake。

Chapter11

ATtheappointedtimeIreturnedtoMissHavisham\'s，andmyhesitatingringatthegatebroughtoutEstella。Shelockeditafteradmittingme，asshehaddonebefore，andagainprecededmeintothedarkpassagewherehercandlestood。Shetooknonoticeofmeuntilshehadthecandleinherhand，whenshelookedoverhershoulder，superciliouslysaying，`Youaretocomethiswaytoday，\'andtookmetoquiteanotherpartofthehouse。

Thepassagewasalongone，andseemedtopervadethewholesquarebasementoftheManorHouse。Wetraversedbutonesideofthesquare，however，andattheendofitshestopped，andputhercandledownandopenedadoor。

Here，thedaylightreappeared，andIfoundmyselfinasmallpavedcourt-yard，theoppositesideofwhichwasformedbyadetacheddwelling-house，thatlookedasifithadoncebelongedtothemanagerorheadclerkoftheextinctbrewery。Therewasaclockintheouterwallofthishouse。LiketheclockinMissHavisham\'sroom，andlikeMissHavisham\'swatch，ithadstoppedattwentyminutestonine。

Wewentinatthedoor，whichstoodopen，andintoagloomyroomwithalowceiling，onthegroundfloorattheback。Therewassomecompanyintheroom，andEstellasaidtomeasshejoinedit，`Youaretogoandstandthere，boy，tillyouarewanted。\'`There\'，beingthewindow，Icrossedtoit，andstood`there，\'inaveryuncomfortablestateofmind，lookingout。

Itopenedtotheground，andlookedintoamostmiserablecorneroftheneglectedgarden，uponarankruinofcabbage-stalks，andoneboxtreethathadbeenclippedroundlongago，likeapudding，andhadanewgrowthatthetopofit，outofshapeandofadifferentcolour，asifthatpartofthepuddinghadstucktothesaucepanandgotburnt。Thiswasmyhomelythought，asIcontemplatedthebox-tree。Therehadbeensomelightsnow，overnight，anditlaynowhereelsetomyknowledge；but，ithadnotquitemeltedfromthecoldshadowofthisbitofgarden，andthewindcaughtitupinlittleeddiesandthrewitatthewindow，asifitpeltedmeforcomingthere。

Idivinedthatmycominghadstoppedconversationintheroom，andthatitsotheroccupantswerelookingatme。Icouldseenothingoftheroomexcepttheshiningofthefireinthewindowglass，butIstiffenedinallmyjointswiththeconsciousnessthatIwasundercloseinspection。

Therewerethreeladiesintheroomandonegentleman。BeforeIhadbeenstandingatthewindowfiveminutes，theysomehowconveyedtomethattheywerealltoadiesandhumbugs，butthateachofthempretendednottoknowthattheothersweretoadiesandhumbugs:becausetheadmissionthatheorshedidknowit，wouldhavemadehimorherouttobeatoadyandhumbug。

Theyallhadalistlessanddrearyairofwaitingsomebody\'spleasure，andthemosttalkativeoftheladieshadtospeakquiterigidlytorepressayawn。Thislady，whosenamewasCamilla，verymuchremindedmeofmysister，withthedifferencethatshewasolder，and(asIfoundwhenI

caughtsightofher)ofabluntercastoffeatures。Indeed，whenIknewherbetterIbegantothinkitwasaMercyshehadanyfeaturesatall，soveryblankandhighwasthedeadwallofherface。

`Poordearsoul！\'saidthislady，withanabruptnessofmannerquitemysister\'s。`Nobody\'senemybuthisown！\'

`Itwouldbemuchmorecommendabletobesomebodyelse\'senemy，\'saidthegentleman；`farmorenatural。\'

`CousinRaymond，\'observedanotherlady，`wearetoloveourneighbour。\'

`SarahPocket，\'returnedCousinRaymond，`ifamanisnothisownneighbour，whois？\'

MissPocketlaughed，andCamillalaughedandsaid(checkingayawn)，`Theidea！\'ButIthoughttheyseemedtothinkitratheragoodideatoo。

Theotherlady，whohadnotspokenyet，saidgravelyandemphatically，`Verytrue！\'

`Poorsoul！\'Camillapresentlywenton(Iknewtheyhadallbeenlookingatmeinthemeantime)，`heissoverystrange！WouldanyonebelievethatwhenTom\'swifedied，heactuallycouldnotbeinducedtoseetheimportanceofthechildren\'shavingthedeepestoftrimmingstotheirmourning？"GoodLord！"sayshe，"Camilla，whatcanitsignifysolongasthepoorbereavedlittlethingsareinblack？"SolikeMatthew！Theidea！\'

`Goodpointsinhim，goodpointsinhim，\'saidCousinRaymond；`HeavenforbidIshoulddenygoodpointsinhim；butheneverhad，andheneverwillhave，anysenseoftheproprieties。\'

`YouknowIwasobliged，\'saidCamilla，`Iwasobligedtobefirm。I

said，"ItWILLNOTDO，forthecreditofthefamily。"Itoldhimthat，withoutdeeptrimmings，thefamilywasdisgraced。Icriedaboutitfrombreakfasttilldinner。Iinjuredmydigestion。Andatlastheflungoutinhisviolentway，andsaid，withaD，"Thendoasyoulike。"ThankGoodnessitwillalwaysbeaconsolationtometoknowthatIinstantlywentoutinapouringrainandboughtthethings。\'

`Hepaidforthem，didhenot？\'askedEstella。

`It\'snotthequestion，mydearchild，whopaidforthem，\'returnedCamilla。`Iboughtthem。AndIshalloftenthinkofthatwithpeace，whenIwakeupinthenight。\'

Theringingofadistantbell，combinedwiththeechoingofsomecryorcallalongthepassagebywhichIhadcome，interruptedtheconversationandcausedEstellatosaytome，`Now，boy！\'Onmyturninground，theyalllookedatmewiththeutmostcontempt，and，asIwentout，IheardSarahPocketsay，`WellIamsure！Whatnext！\'andCamillaadd，withindignation，`Wasthereeversuchafancy！Thei-de-a！\'

Asweweregoingwithourcandlealongthedarkpassage，Estellastoppedallofasudden，and，facinground，saidinhertauntingmannerwithherfacequiteclosetomine:

`Well？\'

`Well，miss？\'Ianswered，almostfallingoverherandcheckingmyself。

Shestoodlookingatme，and，ofcourse，Istoodlookingather。

`AmIpretty？\'

`Yes；Ithinkyouareverypretty。\'

`AmIinsulting？\'

`Notsomuchsoasyouwerelasttime，\'saidI。

`Notsomuchso？\'

`No。\'

Shefiredwhensheaskedthelastquestion，andsheslappedmyfacewithsuchforceasshehad，whenIansweredit。

`Now？\'saidshe。`Youlittlecoarsemonster，whatdoyouthinkofmenow？\'

`Ishallnottellyou。\'

`Becauseyouaregoingtotell，up-stairs。Itthatit？\'

`No，\'saidI，`that\'snotit。\'

`Whydon\'tyoucryagain，youlittlewretch？\'

`BecauseI\'llnevercryforyouagain，\'saidI。Whichwas，Isuppose，asfalseadeclarationaseverwasmade；forIwasinwardlycryingforherthen，andIknowwhatIknowofthepainshecostmeafterwards。

Wewentonourwayup-stairsafterthisepisode；and，asweweregoingup，wemetagentlemangropinghiswaydown。

`Whomhavewehere？\'askedthegentleman，stoppingandlookingatme。

`Aboy，\'saidEstella。

Hewasaburlymanofanexceedinglydarkcomplexion，withanexceedinglylargeheadandacorrespondinglargehand。Hetookmychininhislargehandandturnedupmyfacetohavealookatmebythelightofthecandle。

Hewasprematurelybaldonthetopofhishead，andhadbushyblackeyebrowsthatwouldn\'tliedownbutstoodupbristling。Hiseyesweresetverydeepinhishead，andweredisagreeablysharpandsuspicious。Hehadalargewatchchain，andstrongblackdotswherehisbeardandwhiskerswouldhavebeenifhehadletthem。Hewasnothingtome，andIcouldhavehadnoforesightthen，thatheeverwouldbeanythingtome，butithappenedthatIhadthisopportunityofobservinghimwell。

`Boyoftheneighbourhood？Hey？\'saidhe。

`Yes，sir，\'saidI。

`Howdoyoucomehere？\'

`MissHavishamsentforme，sir，\'Iexplained。

`Well！Behaveyourself。Ihaveaprettylargeexperienceofboys，andyou\'reabadsetoffellows。Nowmind！\'saidhe，bitingthesideofhisgreatforefingerashefrownedatme，`youbehaveyourself！\'

Withthosewords，hereleasedme-whichIwasgladof，forhishandsmeltofscentedsoap-andwenthiswaydown-stairs。Iwonderedwhetherhecouldbeadoctor；butno，Ithought；hecouldn\'tbeadoctor，orhewouldhaveaquieterandmorepersuasivemanner。Therewasnotmuchtimetoconsiderthesubject，forweweresooninMissHavisham\'sroom，wheresheandeverythingelsewerejustasIhadleftthem。Estellaleftmestandingnearthedoor，andIstoodthereuntilMissHavishamcasthereyesuponmefromthedressing-table。

`So！\'shesaid，withoutbeingstartledorsurprised；`thedayshavewornaway，havethey？\'

`Yes，ma\'am。To-dayis——\'

`There，there，there！\'withtheimpatientmovementofherfingers。`I

don\'twanttoknow。Areyoureadytoplay？\'

Iwasobligedtoanswerinsomeconfusion，`Idon\'tthinkIam，ma\'am。\'

`Notatcardsagain？\'shedemanded，withasearchinglook。

`Yes，ma\'am；Icoulddothat，ifIwaswanted。\'

`Sincethishousestrikesyouoldandgrave，boy，\'saidMissHavisham，impatiently，`andyouareunwillingtoplay，areyouwillingtowork？\'

IcouldanswerthisinquirywithabetterheartthanIhadbeenabletofindfortheotherquestion，andIsaidIwasquitewilling。

`Thengointothatoppositeroom，\'saidshe，pointingatthedoorbehindmewithherwitheredhand，`andwaittheretillIcome。\'

Icrossedthestaircaselanding，andenteredtheroomsheindicated。

Fromthatroom，too，thedaylightwascompletelyexcluded，andithadanairlesssmellthatwasoppressive。Afirehadbeenlatelykindledinthedampold-fashionedgrate，anditwasmoredisposedtogooutthantoburnup，andthereluctantsmokewhichhungintheroomseemedcolderthantheclearerair-likeourownmarshmist。Certainwintrybranchesofcandlesonthehighchimneypiecefaintlylightedthechamber:or，itwouldbemoreexpressivetosay，faintlytroubleditsdarkness。Itwasspacious，andIdaresayhadoncebeenhandsome，buteverydiscerniblethinginitwascoveredwithdustandmould，anddroppingtopieces。Themostprominentobjectwasalongtablewithatableclothspreadonit，asifafeasthadbeeninpreparationwhenthehouseandtheclocksallstoppedtogether。

Ané；pergneorcentrepieceofsomekindwasinthemiddleofthiscloth；itwassoheavilyoverhungwithcobwebsthatitsformwasquiteundistinguishable；and，asIlookedalongtheyellowexpanseoutofwhichIrememberitsseemingtogrow，likeablackfungus，Isawspeckled-leggedspiderswithblotchybodiesrunninghometoit，andrunningoutfromit，asifsomecircumstancesofthegreatestpublicimportancehadjusttranspiredinthespidercommunity。

Iheardthemicetoo，rattlingbehindthepanels，asifthesameoccurrencewereimportanttotheirinterests。But，theblackbeetlestooknonoticeoftheagitation，andgropedaboutthehearthinaponderouselderlyway，asiftheywereshort-sightedandhardofhearing，andnotontermswithoneanother。

ThesecrawlingthingshadfascinatedmyattentionandIwaswatchingthemfromadistance，whenMissHavishamlaidahanduponmyshoulder。

Inherotherhandshehadacrutch-headedstickonwhichsheleaned，andshelookedliketheWitchoftheplace。

`This，\'saidshe，pointingtothelongtablewithherstick，`iswhereIwillbelaidwhenIamdead。Theyshallcomeandlookatmehere。\'

Withsomevaguemisgivingthatshemightgetuponthetablethenandthereanddieatonce，thecompleterealizationoftheghastlywaxworkattheFair，Ishrankunderhertouch。

`Whatdoyouthinkthatis？\'sheaskedme，againpointingwithherstick；

`that，wherethosecobwebsare？\'

`Ican\'tguesswhatitis，ma\'am。\'

`It\'sagreatcake。Abride-cake。Mine！\'

Shelookedallroundtheroominaglaringmanner，andthensaid，leaningonmewhileherhandtwitchedmyshoulder，`Come，come，come！Walkme，walkme！\'

Imadeoutfromthis，thattheworkIhadtodo，wastowalkMissHavishamroundandroundtheroom。Accordingly，Istatedatonce，andsheleaneduponmyshoulder，andwewentawayatapacethatmighthavebeenanimitation(foundedonmyfirstimpulseunderthatroof)ofMrPumblechook\'schaise-cart。

Shewasnotphysicallystrong，andafteralittletimesaid，`Slower！\'

Still，wewentatanimpatientfitfulspeed，andaswewent，shetwitchedthehanduponmyshoulder，andworkedhermouth，andledmetobelievethatweweregoingfastbecauseherthoughtswentfast。Afterawhileshesaid，`CallEstella！\'soIwentoutonthelandingandroaredthatnameasIhaddoneonthepreviousoccasion。Whenherlightappeared，IreturnedtoMissHavisham，andwestartedawayagainroundandroundtheroom。

IfonlyEstellahadcometobeaspectatorofourproceedings，Ishouldhavefeltsufficientlydiscontented；but，asshebroughtwithherthethreeladiesandthegentlemanwhomIhadseenbelow，Ididn\'tknowwhattodo。

Inmypoliteness，Iwouldhavestopped；but，MissHavishamtwitchedmyshoulder，andwepostedon-withashame-facedconsciousnessonmypartthattheywouldthinkitwasallmydoing。

`DearMissHavisham，\'saidMissSarahPocket。`Howwellyoulook！\'

`Idonot，\'returnedMissHavisham。`Iamyellowskinandbone。\'

CamillabrightenedwhenMissPocketmetwiththisrebuff；andshemurmured，assheplaintivelycontemplatedMissHavisham，`Poordearsoul！\'Certainlynottobeexpectedtolookwell，poorthing。Theidea！\'

`Andhowareyou？\'saidMissHavishamtoCamilla。AswewereclosetoCamillathen，Iwouldhavestoppedasamatterofcourse，onlyMissHavishamwouldn\'tstop。Weswepton，andIfeltthatIwashighlyobnoxioustoCamilla。

`Thankyou，MissHavisham，\'shereturned，`Iamaswellascanbeexpected。\'

`Why，what\'sthematterwithyou？\'askedMissHavisham，withexceedingsharpness。

`Nothingworthmentioning，\'repliedCamilla。`Idon\'twishtomakeadisplayofmyfeelings，butIhavehabituallythoughtofyoumoreinthenightthanIamquiteequalto。\'

`Thendon\'tthinkofme，\'retortedMissHavisham。

`Veryeasilysaid！\'remarkedCamilla，amiablyrepressingasob，whileahitchcameintoherupperlip，andhertearsoverflowed。`RaymondisawitnesswhatgingerandsalvolatileIamobligedtotakeinthenight。

RaymondisawitnesswhatnervousjerkingsIhaveinmylegs。Chokingsandnervousjerkings，however，arenothingnewtomewhenIthinkwithanxietyofthoseIlove。IfIcouldbelessaffectionateandsensitive，Ishouldhaveabetterdigestionandanironsetofnerves。IamsureI

wishtocouldbeso。Butastonotthinkingofyouinthenight-Theidea！\'

Here，aburstoftears。

TheRaymondreferredto，Iunderstoodtobethegentlemanpresent，andhimIunderstoodtobeMrCamilla。Hecametotherescueatthispoint，andsaidinaconsolatoryandcomplimentaryvoice，`Camilla，mydear，itiswellknownthatyourfamilyfeelingsaregraduallyunderminingyoutotheextentofmakingoneofyourlegsshorterthantheother。\'

`Iamnotaware，\'observedthegraveladywhosevoiceIhadheardbutonce，`thattothinkofanypersonistomakeagreatclaimuponthatperson，mydear。\'

MissSarahPocket，whomInowsawtobealittledrybrowncorrugatedoldwoman，withasmallfacethatmighthavebeenmadeofwalnutshells，andalargemouthlikeacat\'swithoutthewhiskers，supportedthispositionbysaying，`No，indeed，mydear。Hem！\'

`Thinkingiseasyenough，\'saidthegravelady。

`Whatiseasier，youknow？\'assentedMissSarahPocket。

`Oh，yes，yes！\'criedCamilla，whosefermentingfeelingsappearedtorisefromherlegstoherbosom。`It\'sallverytrue！It\'saweaknesstobesoaffectionate，butIcan\'thelpit。Nodoubtmyhealthwouldbemuchbetterifitwasotherwise，stillIwouldn\'tchangemydispositionifI

could。It\'sthecauseofmuchsuffering，butit\'saconsolationtoknowIpossesit，whenIwakeupinthenight。\'Hereanotherburstoffeeling。

MissHavishamandIhadneverstoppedallthistime，butkeptgoingroundandroundtheroom:now，brushingagainsttheskirtsofthevisitors:

now，givingthemthewholelengthofthedismalchamber。

`There\'sMatthew！\'saidCamilla。`Nevermixingwithanynaturalties，nevercomingheretoseehowMissHavishamis！Ihavetakentothesofawithmystaylacecut，andhavelaintherehours，insensible，withmyheadovertheside，andmyhairalldown，andmyfeetIdon\'tknowwhere——\'

(`Muchhigherthanyourhead，mylove，\'saidMrCamilla。)

`Ihavegoneoffintothatstate，hoursandhours，onaccountofMatthew\'sstrangeandinexplicableconduct，andnobodyhasthankedme。\'

`ReallyImustsayIshouldthinknot！\'interposedthegravelady。

`Yousee，mydear，\'addedMissSarahPocket(ablandlyviciouspersonage)，`thequestiontoputtoyourselfis，whodidyouexpecttothankyou，mylove？\'

`Withoutexpectinganythanks，oranythingofthesort，\'resumedCamilla，`Ihaveremainedinthatstate，hoursandhours，andRaymondisawitnessoftheextenttowhichIhavechoked，andwhatthetotalinefficacyofgingerhasbeen，andIhavebeenheardatthepianoforte-tuner\'sacrossthestreet，wherethepoormistakenchildrenhaveevensupposedittobepigeonscooingatadistance-andnowtobetold——\'HereCamillaputherhandtoherthroat，andbegantobequitechemicalastotheformationofnewcombinationsthere。

WhenthissameMatthewwasmentioned，MissHavishamstoppedmeandherself，andstoodlookingatthespeaker。ThischangehadagreatinfluenceinbringingCamilla\'schemistrytoasuddenend。

`Matthewwillcomeandseemeatlast，\'saidMissHavisham，sternly，whenIamlaidonthattable。Thatwillbehisplace-there，\'strikingthetablewithherstick，`atmyhead！Andyourswillbethere！Andyourhusband\'sthere！AndSarahPocket\'sthere！AndGeorgiana\'sthere！Nowyouallknowwheretotakeyourstationswhenyoucometofeastuponme。Andnowgo！\'

Atthementionofeachname，shehadstruckthetablewithherstickinanewplace。Shenowsaid，`Walkme，walkme！\'andwewentonagain。

`Isupposethere\'snothingtobedone，\'exclaimedCamilla，`butcomplyanddepart。It\'ssomethingtohaveseentheobjectofone\'sloveandduty，forevensoshortatime。IshallthinkofitwithamelancholysatisfactionwhenIwakeupinthenight。IwishMatthewcouldhavethatcomfort，buthesetsitatdefiance。Iamdeterminednottomakeadisplayofmyfeelings，butit\'sveryhardtobetoldonewantstofeastonone\'srelations-asifonewasaGiant-andtobetoldtogo。Thebareidea！\'

MrCamillainterposing，asMrsCamillalaidherhanduponherheavingbosom，thatladyassumedanunnaturalfortitudeofmannerwhichIsupposedtobeexpressiveofanintentiontodropandchokewhenoutofview，andkissingherhandtoMissHavisham，wasescortedforth。SarahPocketandGeorgianacontendedwhoshouldremainlast；but，Sarahwastooknowingtobeoutdone，andambledroundGeorgianawiththatartfulslipperiness，thatthelatterwasobligedtotakeprecedence。SarahPocketthenmadeherseparateeffectofdepartingwith`Blessyou，MissHavishamdear！\'

andwithasmileofforgivingpityonherwalnut-shellcountenancefortheweaknessesoftherest。

WhileEstellawasawaylightingthemdown，MissHavishamstillwalkedwithherhandonmyshoulder，butmoreandmoreslowly。Atlastshestoppedbeforethefire，andsaid，aftermutteringandlookingatitsomeseconds:

`Thisismybirthday，Pip。\'

Iwasgoingtowishhermanyhappyreturns，whensheliftedherstick。

`Idon\'tsufferittobespokenof。Idon\'tsufferthosewhowereherejustnow，oranyone，tospeakofit。Theycomehereontheday，buttheydarenotrefertoit。\'

OfcourseImadenofurtherefforttorefertoit。

`Onthisdayoftheyear，longbeforeyouwereborn，thisheapofdecay，\'

stabbingwithhercrutchedstickatthepileofcobwebsonthetablebutnottouchingit，`wasbroughthere。ItandIhavewornawaytogether。Themicehavegnawedatit，andsharperteeththanteethofmicehavegnawedatme。\'

Sheheldtheheadofherstickagainstherheartasshestoodlookingatthetable；sheinheroncewhitedress，allyellowandwithered；theoncewhiteclothallyellowandwithered；everythingaround，inastatetocrumbleunderatouch。

`Whentheruiniscomplete，\'saidshe，withaghastlylook，`andwhentheylaymedead，inmybride\'sdressonthebride\'stable-whichshallbedone，andwhichwillbethefinishedcurseuponhim-somuchthebetterifitisdoneonthisday！\'

Shestoodlookingatthetableasifshestoodlookingatherownfigurelyingthere。Iremainedquiet。Estellareturned，andshetooremainedquiet。

Itseemedtomethatwecontinuedthusforalongtime。Intheheavyairoftheroom，andtheheavydarknessthatbroodedinitsremotercorners，IevenhadanalarmingfancythatEstellaandImightpresentlybegintodecay。

Atlength，notcomingoutofherdistraughtstatebydegrees，butinaninstant，MissHavishamsaid，`Letmeseeyoutwoplaycards；whyhaveyounotbegun？\'Withthat，wereturnedtoherroom，andsatdownasbefore；

Iwasbeggared，asbefore；andagain，asbefore，MissHavishamwatchedusallthetime，directedmyattentiontoEstella\'sbeauty，andmademenoticeitthemorebytryingherjewelsonEstella\'sbreastandhair。