第5章

Chapter16

WITHmyheadfullofGeorgeBarnwell，IwasatfirstdisposedtobelievethatImusthavehadsomehandintheattackuponmysister，oratalleventsthatashernearrelation，popularlyknowntobeunderobligationstoher，Iwasamorelegitimateobjectofsuspicionthananyoneelse。

Butwhen，intheclearerlightofnextmorning，Ibegantoreconsiderthematterandtohearitdiscussedaroundmeonallsides，Itookanotherviewofthecase，whichwasmorereasonable。

JoehadbeenattheThreeJollyBargemen，smokinghispipe，fromaquarteraftereighto\'clocktoaquarterbeforeten。Whilehewasthere，mysisterhadbeenseenstandingatthekitchendoor，andhadexchangedGoodNightwithafarm-labourergoinghome。Themancouldnotbemoreparticularastothetimeatwhichhesawher(hegotintodenseconfusionwhenhetriedtobe)，thanthatitmusthavebeenbeforenine。WhenJoewenthomeatfiveminutesbeforeten，hefoundherstruckdownonthefloor，andpromptlycalledinassistance。Thefirehadnotthenburntunusuallylow，norwasthesnuffofthecandleverylong；thecandle，however，hadbeenblownout。

Nothinghadbeentakenawayfromanypartofthehouse。Neither，beyondtheblowingoutofthecandle-whichstoodonatablebetweenthedoorandmysister，andwasbehindherwhenshestoodfacingthefireandwasstruck-wasthereanydisarrangementofthekitchen，exceptingsuchassheherselfhadmade，infallingandbleeding。But，therewasoneremarkablepieceofevidenceonthespot。Shehadbeenstruckwithsomethingbluntandheavy，ontheheadandspine；aftertheblowsweredealt，somethingheavyhadbeenthrowndownatherwithconsiderableviolence，asshelayonherface。Andonthegroundbesideher，whenJoepickedherup，wasaconvict\'sleg-ironwhichhadbeenfiledasunder。

Now，Joe，examiningthisironwithasmith\'seye，declaredittohavebeenfiledasundersometimeago。ThehueandcrygoingofftotheHulks，andpeoplecomingthencetoexaminetheiron，Joe\'sopinionwascorroborated。

Theydidnotundertaketosaywhenithadlefttheprison-shipstowhichitundoubtedlyhadoncebelonged；buttheyclaimedtoknowforcertainthatthatparticularmanaclehadnotbeenwornbyeitheroftwoconvictswhohadescapedlastnight。Further，oneofthosetwowasalreadyre-taken，andhadnotfreedhimselfofhisiron。

KnowingwhatIknew，Isetupaninferenceofmyownhere。Ibelievedtheirontobemyconvict\'siron-theironIhadseenandheardhimfilingat，onthemarshes-butmyminddidnotaccusehimofhavingputittoitslatestuse。For，Ibelievedoneoftwootherpersonstohavebecomepossessedofit，andtohaveturnedittothiscruelaccount。EitherOrlick，orthestrangemanwhohadshownmethefile。

Now，astoOrlick；hehadgonetotownexactlyashetolduswhenwepickedhimupattheturnpike，hehadbeenseenabouttownalltheevening，hehadbeenindiverscompaniesinseveralpublic-houses，andhehadcomebackwithmyselfandMrWopsle。Therewasnothingagainsthim，savethequarrel；andmysisterhadquarrelledwithhim，andwitheverybodyelseabouther，tenthousandtimes。Astothestrangeman；ifhehadcomebackforhistwobank-notestherecouldhavebeennodisputeaboutthem，becausemysisterwasfullypreparedtorestorethem。Besides，therehadbeennoaltercation；theassailanthadcomeinsosilentlyandsuddenly，thatshehadbeenfelledbeforeshecouldlookround。

ItwashorribletothinkthatIhadprovidedtheweapon，howeverundesignedly，butIcouldhardlythinkotherwise。IsufferedunspeakabletroublewhileIconsideredandreconsideredwhetherIshouldatlastdissolvethatspellofmychildhood，andtellJoeallthestory。Formonthsafterwards，Ieverydaysettledthequestionfinallyinthenegative，andreopenedandreargueditnextmorning。Thecontentioncame，afterall，tothis；-thesecretwassuchanoldonenow，hadsogrownintomeandbecomeapartofmyself，thatIcouldnottearitaway。Inadditiontothedreadthat，havingleduptosomuchmischief，itwouldbenowmorelikelythanevertoalienateJoefrommeifhebelievedit，Ihadafurtherrestrainingdreadthathewouldnotbelieveit，butwouldassortitwiththefabulousdogsandveal-cutletsasamonstrousinvention。However，Itemporizedwithmyself，ofcourse-for，wasInotwaveringbetweenrightandwrong，whenthethingisalwaysdone？-andresolvedtomakeafulldisclosureifIshouldseeanysuchnewoccasionasanewchanceofhelpinginthediscoveryoftheassailant。

TheConstables，andtheBowStreetmenfromLondon-for，thishappenedinthedaysoftheextinctred-waistcoatedpolice-wereaboutthehouseforaweekortwo，anddidprettymuchwhatIhaveheardandreadoflikeauthoritiesdoinginothersuchcases。Theytookupseveralobviouslywrongpeople，andtheyrantheirheadsveryhardagainstwrongideas，andpersistedintryingtofitthecircumstancestotheideas，insteadoftryingtoextractideasfromthecircumstances。Also，theystoodaboutthedooroftheJollyBargemen，withknowingandreservedlooksthatfilledthewholeneighbourhoodwithadmiration；andtheyhadamysteriousmanneroftakingtheirdrink，thatwasalmostasgoodastakingtheculprit。Butnotquite，fortheyneverdidit。

Longaftertheseconstitutionalpowershaddispersed，mysisterlayveryillinbed。Hersightwasdisturbed，sothatshesawobjectsmultiplied，andgraspedatvisionaryteacupsandwine-glassesinsteadoftherealities；

herhearingwasgreatlyimpaired；hermemoryalso；andherspeechwasunintelligible。

When，atlast，shecameroundsofarastobehelpeddown-stairs，itwasstillnecessarytokeepmyslatealwaysbyher，thatshemightindicateinwritingwhatshecouldnotindicateinspeech。Asshewas(verybadhandwritingapart)amorethanindifferentspeller，andasJoewasamorethanindifferentreader，extraordinarycomplicationsarosebetweenthem，whichIwasalwayscalledintosolve。Theadministrationofmuttoninsteadofmedicine，thesubstitutionofTeaforJoe，andthebakerforbacon，wereamongthemildestofmyownmistakes。

However，hertemperwasgreatlyimproved，andshewaspatient。Atremulousuncertaintyoftheactionofallherlimbssoonbecameapartofherregularstate，andafterwards，atintervalsoftwoorthreemonths，shewouldoftenputherhandstoherhead，andwouldthenremainforaboutaweekatatimeinsomegloomyaberrationofmind。Wewereatalosstofindasuitableattendantforher，untilacircumstancehappenedconvenientlytorelieveus。MrWopsle\'sgreat-auntconqueredaconfirmedhabitoflivingintowhichshehadfallen，andBiddybecameapartofourestablishment。

Itmayhavebeenaboutamonthaftermysister\'sreappearanceinthekitchen，whenBiddycametouswithasmallspeckledboxcontainingthewholeofherworldlyeffects，andbecameablessingtothehousehold。Aboveall，shewasablessingtoJoe，forthedearoldfellowwassadlycutupbytheconstantcontemplationofthewreckofhiswife，andhadbeenaccustomed，whileattendingonherofanevening，toturntomeeverynowandthenandsay，withhisblueeyesmoistened，`Suchafinefigureofawomanassheoncewere，Pip！\'Biddyinstantlytakingthecleverestchargeofherasthoughshehadstudiedherfrominfancy，Joebecameableinsomesorttoappreciatethegreaterquietofhislife，andtogetdowntotheJollyBargemennowandthenforachangethatdidhimgood。ItwascharacteristicofthepolicepeoplethattheyhadallmoreorlesssuspectedpoorJoe(thoughheneverknewit)，andthattheyhadtoamanconcurredinregardinghimasoneofthedeepestspiritstheyhadeverencountered。

Biddy\'sfirsttriumphinhernewoffice，wastosolveadifficultythathadcompletelyvanquishedme。Ihadtriedhardatit，buthadmadenothingofit。Thusitwas:

Againandagainandagain，mysisterhadtracedupontheslate，acharacterthatlookedlikeacuriousT，andthenwiththeutmosteagernesshadcalledourattentiontoitassomethingsheparticularlywanted。IhadinvaintriedeverythingproduciblethatbeganwithaT，fromtartotoastandtub。Atlengthithadcomeintomyheadthatthesignlookedlikeahammer，andonmylustilycallingthatwordinmysister\'sear，shehadbeguntohammeronthetableandhadexpressedaqualifiedassent。Thereupon，I

hadbroughtinallourhammers，oneafteranother，butwithoutavail。ThenIbethoughtmeofacrutch，theshapebeingmuchthesame，andIborrowedoneinthevillage，anddisplayedittomysisterwithconsiderableconfidence。

Butsheshookherheadtothatextentwhenshewasshownit，thatwewereterrifiedlestinherweakandshatteredstatesheshoulddislocateherneck。

WhenmysisterfoundthatBiddywasveryquicktounderstandher，thismysterioussignreappearedontheslate。Biddylookedthoughtfullyatit，heardmyexplanation，lookedthoughtfullyatmysister，lookedthoughtfullyatJoe(whowasalwaysrepresentedontheslatebyhisinitialletter)，andranintotheforge，followedbyJoeandme。

`Why，ofcourse！\'criedBiddy，withanexultantface。`Don\'tyousee？

It\'shim！\'

Orlick，withoutadoubt！Shehadlosthisname，andcouldonlysignifyhimbyhishammer。Wetoldhimwhywewantedhimtocomeintothekitchen，andheslowlylaiddownhishammer，wipedhisbrowwithhisarm，tookanotherwipeatitwithhisapron，andcameslouchingout，withacuriousloosevagabondbendinthekneesthatstronglydistinguishedhim。

IconfessthatIexpectedtoseemysisterdenouncehim，andthatI

wasdisappointedbythedifferentresult。Shemanifestedthegreatestanxietytobeongoodtermswithhim，wasevidentlymuchpleasedbyhisbeingatlengthproduced，andmotionedthatshewouldhavehimgivensomethingtodrink。Shewatchedhiscountenanceasifshewereparticularlywishfultobeassuredthathetookkindlytohisreception，sheshowedeverypossibledesiretoconciliatehim，andtherewasanairofhumblepropitiationinallshedid，suchasIhaveseenpervadethebearingofachildtowardsahardmaster。Afterthatday，adayrarelypassedwithoutherdrawingthehammeronherslate，andwithoutOrlick\'sslouchinginandstandingdoggedlybeforeher，asifheknewnomorethanIdidwhattomakeofit。

Chapter17

INOWfellintoaregularroutineofapprenticeshiplife，whichwasvaried，beyondthelimitsofthevillageandthemarshes，bynomoreremarkablecircumstancethanthearrivalofmybirthdayandmypayinganothervisittoMissHavisham。IfoundMissSarahPocketstillondutyatthegate，IfoundMissHavishamjustasIhadlefther，andshespokeofEstellaintheverysameway，ifnotintheverysamewords。Theinterviewlastedbutafewminutes，andshegavemeaguineawhenIwasgoing，andtoldmetocomeagainonmynextbirthday。Imaymentionatoncethatthisbecameanannualcustom。Itriedtodeclinetakingtheguineaonthefirstoccasion，butwithnobettereffectthancausinghertoaskmeveryangrily，ifI

expectedmore？Then，andafterthat，Itookit。

Sounchangingwasthedulloldhouse，theyellowlightinthedarkenedroom，thefadedspectreinthechairbythedressing-tableglass，thatIfeltasifthestoppingoftheclockshadstoppedTimeinthatmysteriousplace，and，whileIandeverythingelseoutsideitgrewolder，itstoodstill。Daylightneverenteredthehouseastomythoughtsandremembrancesofit，anymorethanastotheactualfact。Itbewilderedme，andunderitsinfluenceIcontinuedathearttohatemytradeandtobeashamedofhome。

ImperceptiblyIbecameconsciousofachangeinBiddy，however。Hershoescameupattheheel，herhairgrewbrightandneat，herhandswerealwaysclean。Shewasnotbeautiful-shewascommon，andcouldnotbelikeEstella-butshewaspleasantandwholesomeandsweet-tempered。Shehadnotbeenwithusmorethanayear(Irememberherbeingnewlyoutofmourningatthetimeitstruckme)，whenIobservedtomyselfoneeveningthatshehadcuriouslythoughtfulandattentiveeyes；eyesthatwereveryprettyandverygood。

ItcameofmyliftingupmyowneyesfromataskIwasporingat-writingsomepassagesfromabook，toimprovemyselfintwowaysatoncebyasortofstratagem-andseeingBiddyobservantofwhatIwasabout。Ilaiddownmypen，andBiddystoppedinherneedleworkwithoutlayingitdown。

`Biddy，\'saidI，`howdoyoumanageit？EitherIamverystupid，oryouareveryclever。\'

`WhatisitthatImanage？Idon\'tknow，\'returnedBiddy，smiling。

Shemanagedourwholedomesticlife，andwonderfullytoo；butIdidnotmeanthat，thoughthatmadewhatIdidmean，moresurprising。

`Howdoyoumanage，Biddy，\'saidI，`tolearneverythingthatIlearn，andalwaystokeepupwithme？\'Iwasbeginningtoberathervainofmyknowledge，forIspentmybirthdayguineasonit，andsetasidethegreaterpartofmypocket-moneyforsimilarinvestment；thoughIhavenodoubt，now，thatthetitleIknewwasextremelydearattheprice。

`Imightaswellaskyou，\'saidBiddy，`howyoumanage？\'

`No；becausewhenIcomeinfromtheforgeofanight，anyonecanseemeturningtoatit。Butyouneverturntoatit，Biddy。\'

`IsupposeImustcatchit-likeacough，\'saidBiddy，quietly；andwentonwithhersewing。

PursuingmyideaasIleanedbackinmywoodenchairandlookedatBiddysewingawaywithherheadononeside，Ibegantothinkherratheranextraordinarygirl。For，Icalledtomindnow，thatshewasequallyaccomplishedinthetermsofourtrade，andthenamesofourdifferentsortsofwork，andourvarioustools。Inshort，whateverIknew，Biddyknew。Theoretically，shewasalreadyasgoodablacksmithasI，orbetter。

`Youareoneofthose，Biddy，\'saidI，`whomakethemostofeverychance。

Youneverhadachancebeforeyoucamehere，andseehowimprovedyouare！\'

Biddylookedatmeforaninstant，andwentonwithhersewing。`Iwasyourfirstteacherthough；wasn\'tI？\'saidshe，asshesewed。

`Biddy！\'Iexclaimed，inamazement。`Why，youarecrying！\'

`NoIamnot，\'saidBiddy，lookingupandlaughing。`Whatputthatinyourhead？\'

Whatcouldhaveputitinmyhead，buttheglisteningofatearasitdroppedonherwork？Isatsilent，recallingwhatadrudgeshehadbeenuntilMrWopsle\'sgreat-auntsuccessfullyovercamethatbadhabitofliving，sohighlydesirabletobegotridofbysomepeople。Irecalledthehopelesscircumstancesbywhichshehadbeensurroundedinthemiserablelittleshopandthemiserablelittlenoisyeveningschool，withthatmiserableoldbundleofincompetencealwaystobedraggedandshouldered。IreflectedthateveninthoseuntowardtimestheremusthavebeenlatentinBiddywhatwasnowdeveloping，for，inmyfirstuneasinessanddiscontentIhadturnedtoherforhelp，asamatterofcourse。Biddysatquietlysewing，sheddingnomoretears，andwhileIlookedatherandthoughtaboutitall，itoccurredtomethatperhapsIhadnotbeensufficientlygratefultoBiddy。Imighthavebeentooreserved，andshouldhavepatronizedhermore(thoughIdidnotusethatprecisewordinmymeditations)，withmyconfidence。

`Yes，Biddy，\'Iobserved，whenIhaddoneturningitover，`youweremyfirstteacher，andthatatatimewhenwelittlethoughtofeverbeingtogetherlikethis，inthiskitchen。\'

`Ah，poorthing！\'repliedBiddy。Itwaslikeherself-forgetfulness，totransfertheremarktomysister，andtogetupandbebusyabouther，makinghermorecomfortable；`that\'ssadlytrue！\'

`Well！\'saidI，`wemusttalktogetheralittlemore，asweusedtodo。AndImustconsultyoualittlemore，asIusedtodo。LetushaveaquietwalkonthemarshesnextSunday，Biddy，andalongchat。\'

Mysisterwasneverleftalonenow；butJoemorethanreadilyundertookthecareofheronthatSundayafternoon，andBiddyandIwentouttogether。

Itwassummer-time，andlovelyweather。Whenwehadpassedthevillageandthechurchandthechurchyard，andwereoutonthemarshesandbegantoseethesailsoftheshipsastheysailedon，IbegantocombineMissHavishamandEstellawiththeprospect，inmyusualway。Whenwecametotheriver-sideandsatdownonthebank，withthewaterripplingatourfeet，makingitallmorequietthanitwouldhavebeenwithoutthatsound，IresolvedthatitwasagoodtimeandplacefortheadmissionofBiddyintomyinnerconfidence。

`Biddy，\'saidI，afterbindinghertosecrecy，`Iwanttobeagentleman。\'

`Oh，Iwouldn\'t，ifIwasyou！\'shereturned。`Idon\'tthinkitwouldanswer。\'

`Biddy，\'saidI，withsomeseverity，`Ihaveparticularreasonsforwantingtobeagentleman。\'

`Youknowbest，Pip；butdon\'tyouthinkyouarehappierasyouare？\'

`Biddy，\'Iexclaimed，impatiently，`IamnotatallhappyasIam。I

amdisgustedwithmycallingandwithmylife。Ihavenevertakentoeither，sinceIwasbound。Don\'tbeabsurd。\'

`WasIabsurd？\'saidBiddy，quietlyraisinghereyebrows；`Iamsorryforthat；Ididn\'tmeantobe。Ionlywantyoutodowell，andtobecomfortable。\'

`Wellthen，understandonceforallthatInevershallorcanbecomfortable-oranythingbutmiserable-there，Biddy！-unlessIcanleadaverydifferentsortoflifefromthelifeIleadnow。\'

`That\'sapity！\'saidBiddy，shakingherheadwithasorrowfulair。

Now，Itoohadsooftenthoughtitapity，that，inthesingularkindofquarrelwithmyselfwhichIwasalwayscarryingon，IwashalfinclinedtoshedtearsofvexationanddistresswhenBiddygaveutterancetohersentimentandmyown。Itoldhershewasright，andIknewitwasmuchtoberegretted，butstillitwasnottobehelped。

`IfIcouldhavesettleddown，\'IsaidtoBiddy，pluckinguptheshortgrasswithinreach，muchasIhadonceuponatimepulledmyfeelingsoutofmyhairandkickedthemintothebrewerywall:`ifIcouldhavesettleddownandbeenbuthalfasfondoftheforgeasIwaswhenIwaslittle，Iknowitwouldhavebeenmuchbetterforme。YouandIandJoewouldhavewantednothingthen，andJoeandIwouldperhapshavegonepartnerswhenIwasoutofmytime，andImightevenhavegrownuptokeepcompanywithyou，andwemighthavesatonthisverybankonafineSunday，quitedifferentpeople。Ishouldhavebeengoodenoughforyou；shouldn\'tI，Biddy？\'

Biddysighedasshelookedattheshipssailingon，andreturnedforanswer，`Yes；Iamnotover-particular。\'Itscarcelysoundedflattering，butIknewshemeantwell。

`Insteadofthat，\'saidI，pluckingupmoregrassandchewingabladeortwo，`seehowIamgoingon。Dissatisfied，anduncomfortable，and-

whatwoulditsignifytome，beingcoarseandcommon，ifnobodyhadtoldmeso！\'

Biddyturnedherfacesuddenlytowardsmine，andlookedfarmoreattentivelyatmethanshehadlookedatthesailingships。

`Itwasneitheraverytruenoraverypolitethingtosay，\'sheremarked，directinghereyestotheshipsagain。`Whosaidit？\'

Iwasdisconcerted，forIhadbrokenawaywithoutquiteseeingwhereIwasgoingto。Itwasnottobeshuffledoffnow，however，andIanswered，`ThebeautifulyoungladyatMissHavisham\'s，andshe\'smorebeautifulthananybodyeverwas，andIadmireherdreadfully，andIwanttobeagentlemanonheraccount。\'Havingmadethislunaticconfession，Ibegantothrowmytorn-upgrassintotheriver，asifIhadsomethoughtsoffollowingit。

`Doyouwanttobeagentleman，tospiteherortogainherover？\'Biddyquietlyaskedme，afterapause。

`Idon\'tknow，\'Imoodilyanswered。

`Because，ifitistospiteher，\'Biddypursued，`Ishouldthink-butyouknowbest-thatmightbebetterandmoreindependentlydonebycaringnothingforherwords。Andifitistogainherover，Ishouldthink-

butyouknowbest-shewasnotworthgainingover。\'

ExactlywhatImyselfhadthought，manytimes。Exactlywhatwasperfectlymanifesttomeatthemoment。ButhowcouldI，apoordazedvillagelad，avoidthatwonderfulinconsistencyintowhichthebestandwisestofmenfalleveryday？

`Itmaybeallquitetrue，\'saidItoBiddy，`butIadmireherdreadfully。\'

Inshort，IturnedoveronmyfacewhenIcametothat，andgotagoodgrasponthehaironeachsideofmyhead，andwrencheditwell。Allthewhileknowingthemadnessofmyhearttobesoverymadandmisplaced，thatIwasquiteconsciousitwouldhaveservedmyfaceright，ifIhadlifteditupbymyhair，andknockeditagainstthepebblesasapunishmentforbelongingtosuchanidiot。

Biddywasthewisestofgirls，andshetriedtoreasonnomorewithme。Sheputherhand，whichwasacomfortablehandthoughroughenedbywork，uponmyhands，oneafteranother，andgentlytookthemoutofmyhair。Thenshesoftlypattedmyshoulderinasoothingway，whilewithmyfaceuponmysleeveIcriedalittle-exactlyasIhaddoneinthebreweryyard-andfeltvaguelyconvincedthatIwasverymuchill-usedbysomebody，orbyeverybody；Ican\'tsaywhich。

`Iamgladofonething，\'saidBiddy，`andthatis，thatyouhavefeltyoucouldgivemeyourconfidence，Pip。AndIamgladofanotherthing，andthatis，thatofcourseyouknowyoumaydependuponmykeepingitandalwayssofardeservingit。Ifyourfirstteacher(dear！suchapoorone，andsomuchinneedofbeingtaughtherself！)hadbeenyourteacheratthepresenttime，shethinkssheknowswhatlessonshewouldset。ButItwouldbeahardonetolearn，andyouhavegotbeyondher，andit\'sofnousenow。\'So，withaquietsighforme，Biddyrosefromthebank，andsaid，withafreshandpleasantchangeofvoice，`Shallwewalkalittlefurther，orgohome？\'

`Biddy，\'Icried，gettingup，puttingmyarmroundherneck，andgivingherakiss，`Ishallalwaystellyoueverything。\'

`Tillyou\'reagentleman，\'saidBiddy。

`YouknowInevershallbe，sothat\'salways。NotthatIhaveanyoccasiontotellyouanything，foryouknoweverythingIknow-asItoldyouathometheothernight。\'

`Ah！\'saidBiddy，quiteinawhisper，asshelookedawayattheships。

Andthenrepeated，withherformerpleasantchange；`shallwewalkalittlefurther，orgohome？\'

IsaidtoBiddywewouldwalkalittlefurther，andwedidso，andthesummerafternoontoneddownintothesummerevening，anditwasverybeautiful。

IbegantoconsiderwhetherIwasnotmorenaturallyandwholesomelysituated，afterall，inthesecircumstances，thanplayingbeggarmyneighbourbycandlelightintheroomwiththestoppedclocks，andbeingdespisedbyEstella。IthoughtitwouldbeverygoodformeifIcouldgetheroutofmyhead，withalltherestofthoseremembrancesandfancies，andcouldgotoworkdeterminedtorelishwhatIhadtodo，andsticktoit，andmakethebestofit。IaskedmyselfthequestionwhetherIdidnotsurelyknowthatifEstellawerebesidemeatthatmomentinsteadofBiddy，shewouldmakememiserable？IwasobligedtoadmitthatIdidknowitforacertainty，andIsaidtomyself，`Pip，whatafoolyouare！\'

Wetalkedagooddealaswewalked，andallthatBiddysaidseemedright。

Biddywasneverinsulting，orcapricious，orBiddyto-dayandsomebodyelseto-morrow；shewouldhavederivedonlypain，andnopleasure，fromgivingmepain；shewouldfarratherhavewoundedherownbreastthanmine。

Howcoulditbe，then，thatIdidnotlikehermuchthebetterofthetwo？

`Biddy，\'saidI，whenwewerewalkinghomeward，`Iwishyoucouldputmeright。\'

`IwishIcould！\'saidBiddy。

`IfIcouldonlygetmyselftofallinlovewithyou-youdon\'tmindmyspeakingsoopenlytosuchanoldacquaintance？\'

`Ohdear，notatall！\'saidBiddy。`Don\'tmindme。\'

`IfIcouldonlygetmyselftodoit，thatwouldbethethingforme。\'

`Butyouneverwill，yousee，\'saidBiddy。

Itdidnotappearquitesounlikelytomethatevening，asitwouldhavedoneifwehaddiscusseditafewhoursbefore。IthereforeobservedIwasnotquitesureofthat。ButBiddysaidshewas，andshesaiditdecisively。InmyheartIbelievedhertoberight；andyetItookitratherill，too，thatsheshouldbesopositiveonthepoint。

Whenwecamenearthechurchyard，wehadtocrossanembankment，andgetoverastilenearasluicegate。Therestartedup，fromthegate，orfromtherushes，orfromtheooze(whichwasquiteinhisstagnantway)，OldOrlick。

`Halloa！\'hegrowled，`whereareyoutwogoing？\'

`Whereshouldwebegoing，buthome？\'

`Wellthen，\'saidhe，`I\'mjiggeredifIdon\'tseeyouhome！\'

Thispenaltyofbeingjiggeredwasafavouritesupposititiouscaseofhis。HeattachednodefinitemeaningtothewordthatIamawareof，butusedit，likehisownpretendedChristianname，toaffrontmankind，andconveyanideaofsomethingsavagelydamaging。WhenIwasyounger，Ihadhadageneralbeliefthatifhehadjiggeredmepersonally，hewouldhavedoneitwithasharpandtwistedhook。

Biddywasmuchagainsthisgoingwithus，andsaidtomeinawhisper，`Don\'tlethimcome；Idon\'tlikehim。\'AsIdidnotlikehimeither，I

tookthelibertyofsayingthatwethankedhim，butwedidn\'twantseeinghome。Hereceivedthatpieceofinformationwithayelloflaughter，anddroppedback，butcameslouchingafterusatalittledistance。

CurioustoknowwhetherBiddysuspectedhimofhavinghadahandinthatmurderousattackofwhichmysisterhadneverbeenabletogiveanyaccount，Iaskedherwhyshedidnotlikehim。

`Oh！\'shereplied，glancingoverhershoulderasheslouchedafterus，`becauseI-Iamafraidhelikesme。\'

`Didheevertellyouhelikedyou？\'Iasked，indignantly。

`No，\'saidBiddy，glancingoverhershoulderagain，`henevertoldmeso；buthedancesatme，wheneverhecancatchmyeye。\'

Howevernovelandpeculiarthistestimonyofattachment，Ididnotdoubttheaccuracyoftheinterpretation。IwasveryhotindeeduponOldOrlick\'sdaringtoadmireher；ashotasifitwereanoutrageonmyself。

`Butitmakesnodifferencetoyou，youknow，\'saidBiddy，calmly。

`No，Biddy，itmakesnodifferencetome；onlyIdon\'tlikeit；Idon\'tapproveofit。\'

`NorIneither，\'saidBiddy。`Thoughthatmakesnodifferencetoyou。\'

`Exactly，\'saidI；`butImusttellyouIshouldhavenoopinionofyou，Biddy，ifhedancedatyouwithyourownconsent。\'

IkeptaneyeonOrlickafterthatnight，and，whenevercircumstanceswerefavourabletohisdancingatBiddy，gotbeforehim，toobscurethatdemonstration。HehadstruckrootinJoe\'sestablishment，byreasonofmysister\'ssuddenfancyforhim，orIshouldhavetriedtogethimdismissed。

Hequiteunderstoodandreciprocatedmygoodintentions，asIhadreasontoknowthereafter。

Andnow，becausemymindwasnotconfusedenoughbefore，Icomplicateditsconfusionfiftythousand-fold，byhavingstatesandseasonswhenI

wasclearthatBiddywasimmeasurablybetterthanEstella，andthattheplainhonestworkinglifetowhichIwasborn，hadnothinginittobeashamedof，butofferedmesufficientmeansofself-respectandhappiness。

Atthosetimes，IwoulddecideconclusivelythatmydisaffectiontodearoldJoeandtheforge，wasgone，andthatIwasgrowingupinafairwaytobepartnerswithJoeandtokeepcompanywithBiddy-whenallinamomentsomeconfoundingremembranceoftheHavishamdayswouldfalluponme，likeadestructivemissile，andscattermywitsagain。Scatteredwitstakealongtimepickingup；andoften，beforeIhadgotthemwelltogether，theywouldbedispersedinalldirectionsbyonestraythought，thatperhapsafterallMissHavishamwasgoingtomakemyfortunewhenmytimewasout。

Ifmytimehadrunout，itwouldhaveleftmestillattheheightofmyperplexities，Idaresay。Itneverdidrunout，however，butwasbroughttoaprematureend，asIproceedtorelate。

Chapter18

ITwasinthefourthyearofmyapprenticeshiptoJoe，anditwasaSaturdaynight。TherewasagroupassembledroundthefireattheThreeJollyBargemen，attentivetoMrWopsleashereadthenewspaperaloud。

OfthatgroupIwasone。

Ahighlypopularmurderhadbeencommitted，andMrWopslewasimbruedinbloodtotheeyebrows。Hegloatedovereveryabhorrentadjectiveinthedescription，andidentifiedhimselfwitheverywitnessattheInquest。

Hefaintlymoaned，`Iamdonefor，\'asthevictim，andhebarbarouslybellowed，`I\'llserveyouout，\'asthemurderer。Hegavethemedicaltestimony，inpointedimitationofourlocalpractitioner；andhepipedandshook，astheagedturnpike-keeperwhohadheardblows，toanextentsoveryparalyticastosuggestadoubtregardingthementalcompetencyofthatwitness。

Thecoroner，inMrWopsle\'shands，becameTimonofAthens；thebeadle，Coriolanus。Heenjoyedhimselfthoroughly，andweallenjoyedourselves，andweredelightfullycomfortable。InthiscozystateofmindwecametotheverdictWilfulMurder。

Then，andnotsooner，Ibecameawareofastrangegentlemanleaningoverthebackofthesettleoppositeme，lookingon。Therewasanexpressionofcontemptonhisface，andhebitthesideofagreatforefingerashewatchedthegroupoffaces。

`Well！\'saidthestrangertoMrWopsle，whenthereadingwasdone，`youhavesettleditalltoyourownsatisfaction，Ihavenodoubt？\'

Everybodystartedandlookedup，asifitwerethemurderer。Helookedateverybodycoldlyandsarcastically。

`Guilty，ofcourse？\'saidhe。`Outwithit。Come！\'

`Sir，\'returnedMrWopsle，`withouthavingthehonourofyouracquaintance，IdosayGuilty。\'Uponthis，wealltookcouragetouniteinaconfirmatorymurmur。

`Iknowyoudo，\'saidthestranger；`Iknewyouwould。Itoldyouso。

ButnowI\'llaskyouaquestion。Doyouknow，ordoyounotknow，thatthelawofEnglandsupposeseverymantobeinnocent，untilheisproved-proved-tobeguilty？\'

`Sir，\'MrWopslebegantoreply，`asanEnglishmanmyself，I——\'

`Come！\'saidthestranger，bitinghisforefingerathim。`Don\'tevadethequestion。Eitheryouknowit，oryoudon\'tknowit。Whichisittobe？\'

Hestoodwithhisheadononesideandhimselfononeside，inabullyinginterrogativemanner，andhethrewhisforefingeratMrWopsle-asitweretomarkhimout-beforebitingitagain。

`Now！\'saidhe。`Doyouknowit，ordon\'tyouknowit？\'

`CertainlyIknowit，\'repliedMrWopsle。

`Certainlyyouknowit。Thenwhydidn\'tyousaysoatfirst？Now，I\'llaskyouanotherquestion；\'takingpossessionofMrWopsle，asifhehadarighttohim。`Doyouknowthatnoneofthesewitnesseshaveyetbeencross-examined？\'

MrWopslewasbeginning，`Icanonlysay——\'whenthestrangerstoppedhim。

`What？Youwon\'tanswerthequestion，yesorno？Now，I\'lltryyouagain。\'

Throwinghisfingerathimagain。`Attendtome。Areyouaware，orareyounotaware，thatnoneofthesewitnesseshaveyetbeencross-examined？

Come，Ionlywantonewordfromyou。Yes，orno？\'

MrWopslehesitated，andweallbegantoconceiveratherapooropinionofhim。

`Come！\'saidthestranger，`I\'llhelpyou。Youdon\'tdeservehelp，butI\'llhelpyou。Lookatthatpaperyouholdinyourhand。Whatisit？\'

`Whatisit？\'repeatedMrWopsle，eyeingit，muchataloss。

`Isit，\'pursuedthestrangerinhismostsarcasticandsuspiciousmanner，`theprintedpaperyouhavejustbeenreadingfrom？\'

`Undoubtedly。\'

`Undoubtedly。Now，turntothatpaper，andtellmewhetheritdistinctlystatesthattheprisonerexpresslysaidthathislegaladvisersinstructedhimaltogethertoreservehisdefence？\'

`Ireadthatjustnow，\'MrWopslepleaded。

`Nevermindwhatyoureadjustnow，sir；Idon\'taskyouwhatyoureadjustnow。YoumayreadtheLord\'sPrayerbackwards，ifyoulike-and，perhaps，havedoneitbeforeto-day。Turntothepaper。No，no，nomyfriend；

nottothetopofthecolumn；youknowbetterthanthat；tothebottom，tothebottom。\'(WeallbegantothinkMrWopslefullofsubterfuge。)`Well？

Haveyoufoundit？\'

`Hereitis，\'saidMrWopsle。

`Now，followthatpassagewithyoureye，andtellmewhetheritdistinctlystatesthattheprisonerexpresslysaidthathewasinstructedbyhislegaladviserswhollytoreservehisdefence？Come！Doyoumakethatofit？\'

MrWopsleanswered，`Thosearenottheexactwords。\'

`Nottheexactwords！\'repeatedthegentleman，bitterly。`Isthattheexactsubstance？\'

`Yes，\'saidMrWopsle。

`Yes，\'repeatedthestranger，lookingroundattherestofthecompanywithhisrighthandextendedtowardsthewitness，Wopsle。`AndnowIaskyouwhatyousaytotheconscienceofthatmanwho，withthatpassagebeforehiseyes，canlayhisheaduponhispillowafterhavingpronouncedafellow-creatureguilty，unheard？\'

WeallbegantosuspectthatMrWopslewasnotthemanwehadthoughthim，andthathewasbeginningtobefoundout。

`Andthatsameman，remember，\'pursuedthegentleman，throwinghisfingeratMrWopsleheavily；`thatsamemanmightbesummonedasajurymanuponthisverytrial，and，havingthusdeeplycommittedhimself，mightreturntothebosomofhisfamilyandlayhisheaduponhispillow，afterdeliberatelyswearingthathewouldwellandtrulytrytheissuejoinedbetweenOurSovereignLordtheKingandtheprisoneratthebar，andwouldatrueverdictgiveaccordingtotheevidence，sohelphimGod！\'

WewerealldeeplypersuadedthattheunfortunateWopslehadgonetoofar，andhadbetterstopinhisrecklesscareerwhiletherewasyettime。

Thestrangegentleman，withanairofauthoritynottobedisputed，andwithamannerexpressiveofknowingsomethingsecretabouteveryoneofusthatwouldeffectuallydoforeachindividualifhechosetodiscloseit，leftthebackofthesettle，andcameintothespacebetweenthetwosettles，infrontofthefire，whereheremainedstanding:hislefthandinhispocket，andhebitingtheforefingerofhisright。

`FrominformationIhavereceived，\'saidhe，lookingroundatusasweallquailedbeforehim，`Ihavereasontobelievethereisablacksmithamongyou，bynameJoseph-orJoe-Gargery。Whichistheman？\'

`Hereistheman，\'saidJoe。

Thestrangegentlemanbeckonedhimoutofhisplace，andJoewent。

`Youhaveanapprentice，\'pursuedthestranger，`commonlyknownasPip？

Ishehere？\'

`Iamhere！\'Icried。

Thestrangerdidnotrecognizeme，butIrecognizedhimasthegentlemanIhadmetonthestairs，ontheoccasionofmysecondvisittoMissHavisham。

IhadknownhimthemomentIsawhimlookingoverthesettle，andnowthatIstoodconfrontinghimwithhishanduponmyshoulder，Icheckedoffagainindetail，hislargehead，hisdarkcomplexion，hisdeep-seteyes，hisbushyblackeyebrows，hislargewatch-chain，hisstrongblackdotsofbeardandwhisker，andeventhesmellofscentedsoaponhisgreathand。

`Iwishtohaveaprivateconferencewithyoutwo，\'saidhe，whenhehadsurveyedmeathisleisure。`Itwilltakealittletime。Perhapswehadbettergotoyourplaceofresidence。Iprefernottoanticipatemycommunicationhere；youwillimpartasmuchoraslittleofitasyoupleasetoyourfriendsafterwards；Ihavenothingtodowiththat。\'

Amidstawonderingsilence，wethreewalkedoutoftheJollyBargemen，andinawonderingsilencewalkedhome。Whilegoingalong，thestrangegentlemanoccasionallylookedatme，andoccasionallybitthesideofhisfinger。Aswenearedhome，Joevaguelyacknowledgingtheoccasionasanimpressiveandceremoniousone，wentonaheadtoopenthefrontdoor。Ourconferencewasheldinthestateparlour，whichwasfeeblylightedbyonecandle。

Itbeganwiththestrangegentleman\'ssittingdownatthetable，drawingthecandletohim，andlookingoversomeentriesinhispocket-book。Hethenputupthepocket-bookandsetthecandlealittleaside:afterpeeringrounditintothedarknessatJoeandme，toascertainwhichwaswhich。

`Myname，\'hesaid，`isJaggers，andIamalawyerinLondon。Iamprettywellknown。Ihaveunusualbusinesstotransactwithyou，andIcommencebyexplainingthatitisnotofmyoriginating。Ifmyadvicehadbeenasked，Ishouldnothavebeenhere。Itwasnotasked，andyouseemehere。WhatIhavetodoastheconfidentialagentofanother，Ido。Noless，nomore。\'

Findingthathecouldnotseeusverywellfromwherehesat，hegotup，andthrewonelegoverthebackofachairandleaneduponit；thushavingonefootontheseatofthechair，andonefootontheground。

`Now，JosephGargery，Iamthebearerofanoffertorelieveyouofthisyoungfellowyourapprentice。Youwouldnotobjecttocancelhisindentures，athisrequestandforhisgood？Youwouldwantnothingforsodoing？\'

`LordforbidthatIshouldwantanythingfornotstandinginPip\'sway，\'

saidJoe，staring。

`Lordforbiddingispious，butnottothepurpose，\'returnedMrJaggers。

`Thequestionis，Wouldyouwantanything？Doyouwantanything？\'

`Theansweris，\'returnedJoe，sternly，`No。\'

IthoughtMrJaggersglancedatJoe，asifheconsideredhimafoolforhisdisinterestedness。ButIwastoomuchbewilderedbetweenbreathlesscuriosityandsurprise，tobesureofit。

`Verywell，\'saidMrJaggers。`Recollecttheadmissionyouhavemade，anddon\'ttrytogofromitpresently。\'

`Who\'sa-goingtotry？\'retortedJoe。

`Idon\'tsayanybodyis。Doyoukeepadog？\'

`Yes，Idokeepadog。\'

`Bearinmindthen，thatBragisagooddog，butHoldfastisabetter。

Bearthatinmind，willyou？\'repeatedMrJaggers，shuttinghiseyesandnoddinghisheadatJoe，asifhewereforgivinghimsomething。`Now，I

returntothisyoungfellow。AndthecommunicationIhavegottomakeis，thathehasgreatexpectations。\'

JoeandIgasped，andlookedatoneanother。

`Iaminstructedtocommunicatetohim，\'saidMrJaggers，throwinghisfingeratmesideways，`thathewillcomeintoahandsomeproperty。Further，thatitisthedesireofthepresentpossessorofthatproperty，thathebeimmediatelyremovedfromhispresentsphereoflifeandfromthisplace，andbebroughtupasagentleman-inaword，asayoungfellowofgreatexpectations。\'

Mydreamwasout；mywildfancywassurpassedbysoberreality；MissHavishamwasgoingtomakemyfortuneonagrandscale。

`Now，MrPip，\'pursuedthelawyer，`IaddresstherestofwhatIhavetosay，toyou。Youaretounderstand，first，thatitistherequestofthepersonfromwhomItakemyinstructions，thatyoualwaysbearthenameofPip。Youwillhavenoobjection，Idaresay，toyourgreatexpectationsbeingencumberedwiththateasycondition。Butifyouhaveanyobjection，thisisthetimetomentionit。\'

Myheartwasbeatingsofast，andtherewassuchasinginginmyears，thatIcouldscarcelystammerIhadnoobjection。

`Ishouldthinknot！Nowyouaretounderstand，secondly，MrPip，thatthenameofthepersonwhoisyourliberalbenefactorremainsaprofoundsecret，untilthepersonchoosestorevealit。Iamempoweredtomentionthatitistheintentionofthepersontorevealitatfirsthandbywordofmouthtoyourself。Whenorwherethatintentionmaybecarriedout，Icannotsay；noonecansay。Itmaybeyearshence。Now，youaredistinctlytounderstandthatyouaremostpositivelyprohibitedfrommakinganyinquiryonthishead，oranyallusionorreference，howeverdistant，toanyindividualwhomsoeverastheindividual，inallthecommunicationsyoumayhavewithme。Ifyouhaveasuspicioninyourownbreast，keepthatsuspicioninyourownbreast。Itisnottheleasttothepurposewhatthereasonsofthisprohibitionare；theymaybethestrongestandgravestreasons，ortheymaybemerewhim。Thisisnotforyoutoinquireinto。Theconditionislaiddown。Youracceptanceofit，andyourobservanceofitasbinding，istheonlyremainingconditionthatIamchargedwith，bythepersonfromwhomItakemyinstructions，andforwhomIamnototherwiseresponsible。

Thatpersonisthepersonfromwhomyouderiveyourexpectations，andthesecretissolelyheldbythatpersonandbyme。Again，notaverydifficultconditionwithwhichtoencumbersuchariseinfortune；butifyouhaveanyobjectiontoit，thisisthetimetomentionit。Speakout。\'

Oncemore，IstammeredwithdifficultythatIhadnoobjection。

`Ishouldthinknot！Now，MrPip，Ihavedonewithstipulations。\'ThoughhecalledmeMrPip，andbeganrathertomakeuptome，hestillcouldnotgetridofacertainairofbullyingsuspicion；andevennowheoccasionallyshuthiseyesandthrewhisfingeratmewhilehespoke，asmuchastoexpressthatheknewallkindsofthingstomydisparagement，ifheonlychosetomentionthem。`Wecomenext，tomeredetailsofarrangement。Youmustknowthat，althoughIhaveusedtheterm"expectations"morethanonce，youarenotendowedwithexpectationsonly。Thereisalreadylodgedinmyhands，asumofmoneyamplysufficientforyoursuitableeducationandmaintenance。Youwillpleaseconsidermeyourguardian。Oh！\'forI

wasgoingtothankhim，`Itellyouatonce，Iampaidformyservices，orIshouldn\'trenderthem。Itisconsideredthatyoumustbebettereducated，inaccordancewithyouralteredposition，andthatyouwillbealivetotheimportanceandnecessityofatonceenteringonthatadvantage。\'

IsaidIhadalwayslongedforit。

`Nevermindwhatyouhavealwayslongedfor，MrPip，\'heretorted；`keeptotherecord。Ifyoulongforitnow，that\'senough。AmIansweredthatyouarereadytobeplacedatonce，undersomepropertutor？Isthatit？\'

Istammeredyes，thatwasit。

`Good。Now，yourinclinationsaretobeconsulted。Idon\'tthinkthatwise，mind，butit\'smytrust。Haveyoueverheardofanytutorwhomyouwouldprefertoanother？\'

IhadneverheardofanytutorbutBiddyandMrWopsle\'sgreataunt；

so，Irepliedinthenegative。

`Thereisacertaintutor，ofwhomIhavesomeknowledge，whoIthinkmightsuitthepurpose，\'saidMrJaggers。`Idon\'trecommendhim，observe；

becauseIneverrecommendanybody。ThegentlemanIspeakof，isoneMrMatthewPocket。\'

Ah！Icaughtatthenamedirectly。MissHavisham\'srelation。TheMatthewwhomMrandMrsCamillahadspokenof。TheMatthewwhoseplacewastobeatMissHavisham\'shead，whenshelaydead，inherbride\'sdressonthebride\'stable。

`Youknowthename？\'saidMrJaggers，lookingshrewdlyatme，andthenshuttinguphiseyeswhilehewaitedformyanswer。

Myanswerwas，thatIhadheardofthename。

`Oh！\'saidhe。`Youhaveheardofthename。Butthequestionis，whatdoyousayofit？\'

Isaid，ortriedtosay，thatIwasmuchobligedtohimforhisrecommendation——

`No，myyoungfriend！\'heinterrupted，shakinghisgreatheadveryslowly。

`Recollectyourself！\'

Notrecollectingmyself，IbeganagainthatIwasmuchobligedtohimforhisrecommendation——

`No，myyoungfriend，\'heinterrupted，shakinghisheadandfrowningandsmilingbothatonce；`no，no，no；it\'sverywelldone，butitwon\'tdo；youaretooyoungtofixmewithit。Recommendationisnottheword，MrPip。Tryanother。\'

Correctingmyself，IsaidthatIwasmuchobligedtohimforhismentionofMrMatthewPocket——

`That\'smorelikeit！\'criedMrJaggers-

And(Iadded)，Iwouldgladlytrythatgentleman。

`Good。Youhadbettertryhiminhisownhouse。Thewayshallbepreparedforyou，andyoucanseehimsonfirst，whoisinLondon。WhenwillyoucometoLondon？\'

Isaid(glancingatJoe，whostoodlookingon，motionless)，thatIsupposedIcouldcomedirectly。

`First，\'saidMrJaggers，`youshouldhavesomenewclothestocomein，andtheyshouldnotbeworkingclothes。Saythisdayweek。You\'llwantsomemoney。ShallIleaveyoutwentyguineas？\'

Heproducedalongpurse，withthegreatestcoolness，andcountedthemoutinthetableandpushedthemovertome。Thiswasthefirsttimehehadtakenhislegfromthechair。Hesatastrideofthechairwhenhehadpushedthemoneyover，andsatswinginghispurseandeyeingJoe。

`Well，JosephGargery？Youlookdumbfoundered？\'

`Iam！\'saidJoe，inaverydecidedmanner。

`Itwasunderstoodthatyouwantednothingforyourself，remember？\'

`Itwereunderstood，\'saidJoe。`Anditareunderstood。Anditeverwillbesimilaraccording。\'

`Butwhat，\'saidMrJaggers，swinginghispurse，`whatifitwasinmyinstructionstomakeyouapresent，ascompensation？\'

`Ascompensationwhatfor？\'Joedemanded。

`Forthelossofhisservices。\'

Joelaidhishanduponmyshoulderwiththetouchofawoman。Ihaveoftenthoughthimsince，likethesteam-hammer，thatcancrushamanorpatanegg-shell，inhiscombinationofstrengthwithgentleness。`Pipisthatheartywelcome，\'saidJoe，`togofreewithhisservices，tohonourandfortun\'，asnowordscantellhim。ButifyouthinkasMoneycanmakecompensationtomeforthelossofthelittlechild-whatcometotheforge-andeverthebestoffriends！——\'

OdeargoodJoe，whomIwassoreadytoleaveandsounthankfulto，Iseeyouagain，withyourmuscularblacksmith\'sarmbeforeyoureyes，andyourbroadchestheaving，andyourvoicedyingaway。OdeargoodfaithfultenderJoe，Ifeelthelovingtrembleofyourhanduponmyarm，assolemnlythisdayasifithadbeentherustleofanangel\'swing！

ButIencouragedJoeatthetime。Iwaslostinthemazesofmyfuturefortunes，andcouldnotretracetheby-pathswehadtroddentogether。I

beggedJoetobecomforted，for(ashesaid)wehadeverbeenthebestoffriends，and(asIsaid)weeverwouldbeso。Joescoopedhiseyeswithhisdisengagedwrist，asifhewerebentongouginghimself，butsaidnotanotherword。

MrJaggershadlookedonatthis，asonewhorecognizedinJoethevillageidiot，andinmehiskeeper。Whenitwasover，hesaid，weighinginhishandthepursehehadceasedtoswing:

`Now，JosephGargery，Iwarnyouthisisyourlastchance。Nohalfmeasureswithme。IfyoumeantotakeapresentthatIhaveitinchargetomakeyou，speakout，andyoushallhaveit。Ifonthecontraryyoumeantosay——\'

Here，tohisgreatamazement，hewasstoppedbyJoe\'ssuddenlyworkingroundhimwitheverydemonstrationofafellpugilisticpurpose。

`WhichImeantersay，\'criedJoe，`thatifyoucomeintomyplacebull-baitingandbadgeringme，comeout！WhichImeantersayassechifyou\'reaman，comeon！WhichImeantersaythatwhatIsay，Imeantersayandstandorfallby！\'

IdrewJoeaway，andheimmediatelybecameplacable；merelystatingtome，inanobligingmannerandasapoliteexpostulatorynoticetoanyonewhomitmighthappentoconcern，thathewerenotagoingtobebull-baitedandbadgeredinhisownplace。MrJaggershadrisenwhenJoedemonstrated，andhadbackednearthedoor。Withoutevincinganyinclinationtocomeinagain，hetheredeliveredhisvaledictoryremarks。Theywerethese:

`Well，MrPip，Ithinkthesooneryouleavehere-asyouaretobeagentleman-thebetter。Letitstandforthisdayweek，andyoushallreceivemyprintedaddressinthemeantime。Youcantakeahackney-coachatthestage-coachofficeinLondon，andcomestraighttome。Understand，thatIexpressnoopinion，onewayorother，onthetrustIundertake。

Iampaidforundertakingit，andIdoso。Now，understandthat，finally。

Understandthat！\'

Hewasthrowinghisfingeratbothofus，andIthinkwouldhavegoneon，butforhisseemingtothinkJoedangerous，andgoingoff。

Somethingcameintomyheadwhichinducedmetorunafterhim，ashewasgoingdowntotheJollyBargemenwherehehadleftahiredcarriage。

`Ibegyourpardon，MrJaggers。\'

`Halloa！\'saidhe，facinground，`what\'sthematter？\'

`Iwishtobequiteright，MrJaggers，andtokeeptoyourdirections；

soIthoughtIhadbetterask。WouldtherebeanyobjectiontomytakingleaveofanyoneIknow，abouthere，beforeIgoaway？\'

`No，\'saidhe，lookingasifhehardlyunderstoodme。

`Idon\'tmeaninthevillageonly，butup-town？\'

`No，\'saidhe。`Noobjection。\'

Ithankedhimandranhomeagain，andthereIfoundthatJoehadalreadylockedthefrontdoorandvacatedthestateparlour，andwasseatedbythekitchenfirewithahandoneachknee，gazingintentlyattheburningcoals。Itoosatdownbeforethefireandgazedatthecoals，andnothingwassaidforalongtime。

Mysisterwasinhercushionedchairinhercorner，andBiddysatatherneedleworkbeforethefire，andJoesatnextBiddy，andIsatnextJoeinthecorneroppositemysister。ThemoreIlookedintotheglowingcoals，themoreincapableIbecameoflookingatJoe；thelongerthesilencelasted，themoreunableIfelttospeak。

AtlengthIgotout，`Joe，haveyoutoldBiddy？\'

`No，Pip，\'returnedJoe，stilllookingatthefire，andholdinghiskneestight，asifhehadprivateinformationthattheyintendedtomakeoffsomewhere，`whichIleftittoyourself，Pip。\'

`Iwouldratheryoutold，Joe。\'

`Pip\'sagentlemanoffortun\'then，\'saidJoe，`andGodblesshiminit！\'

Biddydroppedherwork，andlookedatme。Joeheldhiskneesandlookedatme。Ilookedatbothofthem。Afterapause，theybothheartilycongratulatedme；buttherewasacertaintouchofsadnessintheircongratulations，thatIratherresented。

ItookituponmyselftoimpressBiddy(andthroughBiddy，Joe)withthegraveobligationIconsideredmyfriendsunder，toknownothingandsaynothingaboutthemakerofmyfortune。Itwouldallcomeoutingoodtime，Iobserved，andinthemeanwhilenothingwastobesaid，savethatIhadcomeintogreatexpectationsfromamysteriouspatron。Biddynoddedherheadthoughtfullyatthefireasshetookupherworkagain，andsaidshewouldbeveryparticular；andJoe，stilldetaininghisknees，said，`Ay，ay，I\'llbeekervallypartickler，Pip；\'andthentheycongratulatedmeagain，andwentontoexpresssomuchwonderatthenotionofmybeingagentleman，thatIdidn\'thalflikeit。

InfinitepainswerethentakenbyBiddytoconveytomysistersomeideaofwhathadhappened。Tothebestofmybelief，thoseeffortsentirelyfailed。Shelaughedandnoddedherheadagreatmanytimes，andevenrepeatedafterBiddy，thewords`Pip\'and`Property。\'ButIdoubtiftheyhadmoremeaninginthemthananelectioncry，andIcannotsuggestadarkerpictureofherstateofmind。

Inevercouldhavebelieveditwithoutexperience，butasJoeandBiddybecamemoreattheircheerfuleaseagain，Ibecamequitegloomy。Dissatisfiedwithmyfortune，ofcourseIcouldnotbe；butitispossiblethatImayhavebeen，withoutquiteknowingit，dissatisfiedwithmyself。

Anyhow，Isatwithmyelbowonmykneeandmyfaceuponmyhand，lookingintothefire，asthosetwotalkedaboutmygoingaway，andaboutwhattheyshoulddowithoutme，andallthat。AndwheneverIcaughtoneofthemlookingatme，thoughneversopleasantly(andtheyoftenlookedatme-particularlyBiddy)，Ifeltoffended:asiftheywereexpressingsomemistrustofme。ThoughHeavenknowstheyneverdidbywordorsign。

AtthosetimesIwouldgetupandlookoutatthedoor；for，ourkitchendooropenedatonceuponthenight，andstoodopenonsummereveningstoairtheroom。TheverystarstowhichIthenraisedmyeyes，IamafraidItooktobebutpoorandhumblestarsforglitteringontherusticobjectsamongwhichIhadpassedmylife。

`Saturdaynight，\'saidI，whenwesatatoursupperofbread-and-cheeseandbeer。`Fivemoredays，andthenthedaybeforetheday！They\'llsoongo。\'

`Yes，Pip，\'observedJoe，whosevoicesoundedhollowinhisbeermug。

`They\'llsoongo。\'

`Soon，soongo，\'saidBiddy。

`Ihavebeenthinking，Joe，thatwhenIgodownonMonday，andordermynewclothes，IshalltellthetailorthatI\'llcomeandputthemonthere，orthatI\'llhavethemsenttoMrPumblechook\'s。Itwouldbeverydisagreeabletobestaredatbyallthepeoplehere。\'

`MrandMrsHubblemightliketoseeyouinyournewgenteelfiguretoo，Pip，\'saidJoe，industriouslycuttinghisbread，withhischeeseonit，inthepalmofhislefthand，andglancingatmyuntastedsupperasifhethoughtofthetimewhenweusedtocompareslices。`SomightWopsle。

AndtheJollyBargemenmighttakeitasacompliment。\'

`That\'sjustwhatIdon\'twant，Joe。Theywouldmakesuchabusinessofit-suchacoarseandcommonbusiness-thatIcouldn\'tbearmyself。\'

`Ah，thatindeed，Pip！\'saidJoe。`Ifyoucouldn\'tabearyourself——\'

Biddyaskedmehere，asshesatholdingmysister\'splate，`Haveyouthoughtaboutwhenyou\'llshowyourselftoMrGargery，andyoursister，andme？Youwillshowyourselftous；won\'tyou？\'

`Biddy，\'Ireturnedwithsomeresentment，`youaresoexceedinglyquickthatit\'sdifficulttokeepupwithyou。\'

(`Shealwayswerequick，\'observedJoe。)

`Ifyouhadwaitedanothermoment，Biddy，youwouldhaveheardmesaythatIshallbringmyclotheshereinabundleoneevening-mostlikelyontheeveningbeforeIgoaway。\'

Biddysaidnomore。Handsomelyforgivingher，Isoonexchangedanaffectionategood-nightwithherandJoe，andwentuptobed。WhenIgotintomylittleroom，Isatdownandtookalonglookatit，asameanlittleroomthatIshouldsoonbepartedfromandraisedabove，forever，Itwasfurnishedwithfreshyoungremembrancestoo，andevenatthesamemomentIfellintomuchthesameconfuseddivisionofmindbetweenitandthebetterroomstowhichIwasgoing，asIhadbeeninsooftenbetweentheforgeandMissHavisham\'s，andBiddyandEstella。

Thesunhadbeenshiningbrightlyalldayontheroofofmyattic，andtheroomwaswarm。AsIputthewindowopenandstoodlookingout，IsawJoecomeslowlyforthatthedarkdoorbelow，andtakeaturnortwointheair；andthenIsawBiddycome，andbringhimapipeandlightitforhim。Heneversmokedsolate，anditseemedtohinttomethathewantedcomforting，forsomereasonorother。

Hepresentlystoodatthedoorimmediatelybeneathme，smokinghispipe，andBiddystoodtheretoo，quietlytalkingtohim，andIknewthattheytalkedofme，forIheardmynamementionedinanendearingtonebybothofthemmorethanonce。Iwouldnothavelistenedformore，ifIcouldhaveheardmore:so，Idrewawayfromthewindow，andsatdowninmyonechairbythebedside，feelingitverysorrowfulandstrangethatthisfirstnightofmybrightfortunesshouldbetheloneliestIhadeverknown。

Lookingtowardstheopenwindow，IsawlightwreathsfromJoe\'spipefloatingthere，andIfancieditwaslikeablessingfromJoe-notobtrudedonmeorparadedbeforeme，butpervadingtheairwesharedtogether。I

putmylightout，andcreptintobed；anditwasanuneasybednow，andIneverslepttheoldsoundsleepinitanymore。

Chapter19

MORNINGmadeaconsiderabledifferenceinmygeneralprospectofLife，andbrighteneditsomuchthatitscarcelyseemedthesame。Whatlayheaviestonmymind，was，theconsiderationthatsixdaysintervenedbetweenmeandthedayofdeparture；for，IcouldnotdivestmyselfofamisgivingthatsomethingmighthappentoLondoninthemeanwhile，andthat，whenIgotthere，itwouldbeeithergreatlydeterioratedorcleangone。

JoeandBiddywereverysympatheticandpleasantwhenIspokeofourapproachingseparation；buttheyonlyreferredtoitwhenIdid。Afterbreakfast，Joebroughtoutmyindenturesfromthepressinthebestparlour，andweputtheminthefire，andIfeltthatIwasfree。Withallthenoveltyofmyemancipationonme，IwenttochurchwithJoe，andthought，perhapstheclergymanwouldn\'thavereadthatabouttherichmanandthekingdomofHeaven，ifhehadknownall。

AfterourearlydinnerIstrolledoutalone，purposingoffinishoffthemarshesatonce，andgetthemdonewith。AsIpassedthechurch，I

felt(asIhadfeltduringserviceinthemorning)asublimecompassionforthepoorcreatureswhoweredestinedtogothere，SundayafterSunday，alltheirlivesthrough，andtolieobscurelyatlastamongthelowgreenmounds。IpromisedmyselfthatIwoulddosomethingforthemoneofthesedays，andformedaplaninoutlineforbestowingadinnerofroast-beefandplumpudding，apintofale，andagallonofcondescension，uponeverybodyinthevillage。

IfIhadoftenthoughtbefore，withsomethingalliedtoshame，ofmycompanionshipwiththefugitivewhomIhadonceseenlimpingamongthosegraves，whatweremythoughtsonthisSunday，whentheplacerecalledthewretch，raggedandshivering，withhisfelonironandbadge！Mycomfortwas，thatithappenedalongtimeago，andthathehaddoubtlessbeentransportedalongwayoff，andthathewasdeadtome，andmightbeveritablydeadintothebargain。

Nomorelowwetgrounds，nomoredykesandsluices，nomoreofthesegrazingcattle-thoughtheyseemed，intheirdullmanner，towearamorerespectfulairnow，andtofaceround，inorderthattheymightstareaslongaspossibleatthepossessorofsuchgreatexpectations-farewell，monotonousacquaintancesofmychildhood，henceforthIwasforLondonandgreatness:notforsmith\'sworkingeneralandforyou！ImademyexultantwaytotheoldBattery，and，lyingdowntheretoconsiderthequestionwhetherMissHavishamintendedmeforEstella，fellasleep。

WhenIawoke，IwasmuchsurprisedtofindJoesittingbesideme，smokinghispipe。Hegreetedmewithacheerfulsmileonmyopeningmyeyes，andsaid:

`Asbeingthelasttime，Pip，IthoughtI\'dfoller。\'

`AndJoe，Iamverygladyoudidso。\'

`Thankee，Pip。\'

`Youmaybesure，dearJoe，\'Iwenton，afterwehadshakenhands，`thatIshallneverforgetyou。\'

`No，no，Pip！\'saidJoe，inacomfortabletone，`I\'msureofthat。Ay，ay，oldchap！Blessyou，itwereonlynecessarytogetitwellroundinaman\'smind，tobecertainonit。Butittookabitoftimetogetitwellround，thechangecomesooncommonplump；didn\'tit？\'

Somehow，IwasnotbestpleasedwithJoe\'sbeingsomightilysecureofme。Ishouldhavelikedhimtohavebetrayedemotion，ortohavesaid，`Itdoesyoucredit，Pip，\'orsomethingofthatsort。Therefore，ImadenoremarkonJoe\'sfirsthead:merelysayingastohissecond，thatthetidingshadindeedcomesuddenly，butthatIhadalwayswantedtobeagentleman，andhadoftenandoftenspeculatedonwhatIwoulddo，ifI

wereone。

`Haveyouthough？\'saidJoe。`Astonishing！\'

`It\'sapitynow，Joe，\'saidI，`thatyoudidnotgetonalittlemore，whenwehadourlessonshere；isn\'tit？\'

`Well，Idon\'tknow，\'returnedJoe。`I\'msoawfuldull。I\'monlymasterofmyowntrade。ItwerealwaysapityasIwassoawfuldull；butit\'snomoreofapitynow，thanitwas-thisdaytwelvemonth-don\'tyousee？\'

WhatIhadmeantwas，thatwhenIcameintomypropertyandwasabletodosomethingforJoe，itwouldhavebeenmuchmoreagreeableifhehadbeenbetterqualifiedforariseinstation。Hewassoperfectlyinnocentofmymeaning，however，thatIthoughtIwouldmentionittoBiddyinpreference。

So，whenwehadwalkedhomeandhadhadtea，ItookBiddyintoourlittlegardenbythesideofthelane，and，afterthrowingoutinageneralwayforelevationofherspirits，thatIshouldneverforgether，saidIhadafavourtoaskofher。

`Anditis，Biddy，\'saidI，`thatyouwillnotomitanyopportunityofhelpingJoeon，alittle。\'

`Howhelpinghimon？\'askedBiddy，withasteadysortofglance。

`Well！Joeisadeargoodfellow-infact，Ithinkheisthedearestfellowthateverlived-butheisratherbackwardinsomethings。Forinstance，Biddy，inhislearningandhismanners。\'