The Landlord At Lions Head

第26章

Ifshewasnotthatnow,shewouldgrowintothatthroughthelapsefromthepersonaltotheancestralwhichweallundergointheprocessoftheyears。

Thesightofherfaceashehadpicturedit,andofthesoulwhichbehadimaginedforit,restoredhimtoabettersenseofher,buthefelttheneedofescapingfromthesuggestionofherfather’spresence,andtakingfurtherthought。Perhapsheshouldneveragainreachthepointthathewasawareofdeflectingfromnow;hefilledhislungswithlongbreaths,whichheexhaledinsighsofrelief。Itmighthavebeenamistakeonthespiritualaswellastheworldlyside;itwouldcertainlynothavepromotedhiscareer;itmighthaveimpededit。Thesemisgivingsflittedoverthesurfaceofthoughtthatmoreprofoundlywasoccupiedwithaquestionofotherthings。Inthetimesincehehadseenherlastitmightverywellbethatayoungandprettygirlhadmetsomeonewhohadtakenherfancy;andhecouldnotbesurethatherfancyhadeverbeenhis,evenifthishadnothappened。Hehadnoproofatallthatshehadevercaredorcouldcareforhimexceptgratefully,respectfully,almostreverentially,withthatminglingoffilialandmaternalanxietywhichhadhithertobeenthewarmestexpressionofherregard。Hetriedtoreasonitout,andcouldnot。Hesuddenlyfoundhimselfbitterlydisappointedthathehadmissedseeingher,foriftheyhadmet,hewouldhaveknownbythistimewhattothink,whattohope。Hefeltold——

hefeltfullythirty—sixyearsold——ashepassedhishandoverhiscrown,whosegossamergrowthopposedsolittleresistancetohistouch。Hehadbeguntolosehishairearly,buttillthenhehadnotmuchregrettedhisbaldness。Heenteredintoalittlequestionoftheircomparativeages,whichledhimtotheconclusionthatCynthiamustnowbeabouttwenty—

five。

Almostatthesamemomenthesawhercomingupthewalktowardhimfromfardowntheavenue。Forareason,orratheramotive,ofhisownhepretendedtohimselfthatitwasnotshe,butheknewinstantlythatitwas,andheputonhishat。Hecouldseethatshedidnotknowhim,anditwasaprettythingtowitnesstherecognitiondawnonher。Whenithaditsfulleffect,hewasawareofaflutter,apauseinherwholefigurebeforeshecameontowardhim,andhehurriedhisstepsforthecharmofherbeautifulb

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