第10章

XIII。

Jeffcameintotheuglyoldfamilyparlor，wherehismothersatmendingbythekerosene—lampwhichshehadkeptthroughallthehouseholdchanges，andpushedenoughofherworkasidefromthecornerofthetabletoresthisarmuponit。

"Mother，Iwantyoutolistentome，andtowaittillIgetdone。Willyou？"

Shelookedupathimoverherspectaclesfromthestockingshewasdarning；thechinaegggleamedthroughthefrayedplace。"Whatnotionhaveyougotinyourhead，now？"

"It’saboutJackson。Heisn’twell。He’sgottoleaveoffworkandgoaway。"

Themother’shanddroppedattheendoftheyarnshehaddrawnthroughthestockingheel，andshestaredatJeff。Thensheresumedherworkwiththedecisionexpressedinhertone。"Yourfatherlivedtobesixtyyearsold，andJacksona’n’tforty！Thedoctorsaidtherewa’n’tanyreasonwhyheshouldn’tliveaslongashisfatherdid。"

"I’mnotsayinghewon’tlivetoahundred。I’msayingheoughtn’ttostayanotherwinterhere，"Jeffsaid，decisively。

Mrs。Durginwassilentforatime，andthenshesaid。"Jeff，isthatyournotionaboutJackson，orwhoseisit？"

"It’smine，now。"

Mrs，Durginwaitedamoment。Thenshebegan，withafeelingquiteatvariancewithherwords：

"Well，I’llthankCynthyWhit’elltomindherownbusiness！Ofcourse，"

sheadded，andinwhatfollowedherfeelingworkedtothesurfaceinherwords，"Iknow’tshethinkstheworldofJackson，andhedoesofher；

andIpresumeshemeanswell。Iguessshe’dbemoreapttonotice，iftherewasanychange，thanwhatIshould。Whatdidshesay？"

Jefftold，asnearlyashecouldremember，andhetoldwhatCynthiaandhehadafterwardjointlyworkedoutastothebestthingforJacksontodo。Mrs。Durginlistenedfrowningly，butnotdisapprovingly，asitseemed；thoughattheendsheasked："AndwhatamIgoingtodo，withJacksongone？"

Jefflaughed，withhisheaddown。"Well，IguessyouandCynthycouldrunit，withFrankandMr。Whitwell。"

"Mr。Whit’ell！"saidMrs。Durgin，concentratinginheraccentofhisnamethecontemptshecouldnotjustlypouroutontheothers。

"Oh，"Jeffwenton，"IdidthinkthatIcouldtakeholdwithyou，ifyoucouldbringyourselftoletmeoffthislastyearatHarvard。"

"Jeff！"saidhismother，reproachfully。"Youknowyoudon’tmeanthatyou’dgiveupyourlastyearincollege？"

"Idomeanit，butIdon’texpectyoutodoit；andIdon’taskit。I

suggestedittoCynthy，whenwegottotalkingitover，andshesawitwouldn’tdo。"

"Well，sheshowedsomesensethattime，"Mrs。Durginsaid。

"Idon’tknowwhenCynthyhasn’tshownsense；exceptonce，andthenI

guessitwasmyfault。"

"Whatdoyoumean？"

"Why，thisafternoonIaskedhertomarrymesometime，andshesaidshewould。"Helookedathismotherandlaughed，andthenhedidnotlaugh。

Hehadexpectedhertobepleased；hehadthoughttopavethewaywiththisconfessionforthedeclarationofhisintentionnottostudylaw，andtomakehisengagementtoCynthiaservehiminreconcilinghismothertotheotherfact。Butamenacingsuspensefollowedhiswords。

Hismotherbrokeoutatlast："YouaskedCynthyWhit’elltomarryyou！

Andshesaidshewould！Well，Icantellhershewon’t，then！"

"AndIcantellyoushewill！"Jeffstormedback。Herosetohisfeetandstoodoverhismother。

Shebegansteadily，asifhehadnotspoken。"Ifthatdesignin’——"

"Lookout，mother！Don’tyousayanythingagainstCynthia！She’sbeenthebestgirltoyouintheworld，andyouknowit。She’sbeenastruetoyouasJacksonhashimself。Shehasn’tgotaselfishboneinherbody，andshe’ssohonestshecouldn’tdesignanythingagainstyouoranyone，unlessshetoldyoufirst。Nowyoutakethatback！Takeitback！

She’snomoredesigningthan——thanyouare！"

Mrs。Durginwasnotmovedbyhisstorming，butshewasinwardlyconvincedoferror。"Idotakeitback。Cynthyisallright。She’sallyousayandmore。It’syourfault，then，andyou’vegotyourselftothank，forwhoseverfaultitis，she’llpack——"

"IfCynthypacks，Ipack！"saidJeff。"Understandthat。ThemomentsheleavesthishouseIleaveit，too，andI’llmarryheranyway。Frank’dleaveand——and——Pshaw！Whatdoyoucareforthat？ButIdon’tknowwhatyoumean！IalwaysthoughtyoulikedCynthyandrespectedher。Ididn’tbelieveIcouldtellyouathingthatwouldpleaseyoubetterthanthatshehadsaidshewouldhaveme。Butifitdon’t，allright。"

Mrs。Durginheldherpeaceinbewilderment；shestaredathersonwithdazedeyes，underthespectaclesliftedaboveherforehead。Shefeltachangeofmoodinhisunchangedtoneofdefiance，andshemethimhalf—

way。"ItellyouItakebackwhatIcalledCynthia，andItoldyouso。

But——butIdidn’teverexpectyoutomarryher。"

"Whydidn’tyou？Thereisn’toneofthesummerfolkstocomparewithher。She’sgotmoresensethanallof’em。I’veknownhereversinceI

canremember。Whydidn’tyouexpectit？"

"Ididn’texpectit。"

"Oh，Iknow！YouthoughtI’dseesomebodyinBoston——someswellgirl。

Well，theywouldn’tanyofthemlookatme，andiftheywould，theywouldn’tlookatyou。"

"Ishouldn’tcarewhethertheylookedatmeornot。"

"Itellyoutheywouldn’tlookatme。Youdon’tunderstandaboutthesethings，andIdo。Theymarrytheirownkind，andI’mnottheirkind，andIshouldn’tbeifIwasDanielWebsterhimself。DanielWebster！

Whoremembershim，orcaresforhim，oreverdid？Youdon’tbelieveit？

YouthinkthatbecauseI’vebeenatHarvard——Oh，can’tImakeyouseeit？

I’mwhattheycallajayinHarvard，andHarvarddon’tcountifyou’reajay。"

Hismotherlookedathimwithoutspeaking。Shewouldnotconfesstheambitionhetaxedherwith，andperhapsshehadnothingsodefiniteinhermind。Perhapsitwasonlyherprideinhim，andherfaithinasplendidfutureforhim，thatmadeheraversetohismarriageinthelotshehadalwaysknown，andonalittlelowerlevelinitthatherown。

Shesaidatlast：

"Idon’tknowwhatyoumeanbybeingajay。ButIguesswebetternotsayanythingmoreaboutthisto—night。"

"Allright，"Jeffreturned。Thereneverwereanyformalgood—nightsbetweentheDurgins，andhewentawaynowwithoutfurtherwords。

Hismotherremainedsittingwherehelefther。Twoorthreetimesshedrewheremptydarning—needlethroughtheheelofthestockingshewasmending。

ShewasstillsittingtherewhenJacksonpassedonhiswaytobed，afterleavingtheofficeinchargeofthenightporter。Hefaltered，ashewentby，andashestoodonthethresholdshetoldhimwhatJeffhadtoldher。

"That’sgood，"hesaid，lifelessly。"GoodforJeff，"headded，thoughtfully，conscientiously。

"Whya’n’titgoodforher，too？"demandedJeff’smother，inquickresentmentoftheslightputuponhim。

"Ididn’tsayitwa’n’t，"saidJackson。"Butit’sbetterforJeff。"

"Shemaybeverygladtogethim！"

"Ipresumesheis。She’salwayscaredforhim，Iguess。She’llknowhowtomanagehim。"

"Idon’tknow，"saidMrs。Durgin，"asIliketohaveyoutalkso，aboutJeff。Hewashere，justnow，wantin’togiveuphislastyearinHarvard，so’stoletyougooffonavacation。Hethinksyou’veworkedyourselfdown。"

JacksonmadenorecognitionofJeff’sprofessedself—sacrifice。"Idon’twantanyvacation。I’mfeelingfirst—ratenow。IguessthatstuffIhadfromthewritin’mediumhasbeguntotakeholdofme。Idon’tknowwhenI’vefeltsowell。IbelieveI’mgoingtogetstrongerthaneverIwas。

JeffsayIneededarest？"

Somethinglikeasmileofcompassionforthedelusionofhisbrotherdawneduponthesickman’swastedface，whichwasblotchedwithlargefreckles，andstaredwithdim，largeeyesfromoutaframeworkofgrayishhair，andgrayishbeardcuttotheedgesofthecheeksandchin。

XXIV。

Mrs。DurginandCynthiadidnotseekanyformalmeetingthenextmorning。

Thecourseoftheirworkbroughtthemtogether，butitwasnottillaftertheyhadtransactedseveralhouseholdaffairsofpressingimportancethatMrs。Durginasked："What’sthisaboutyouandJeff？"

"Hashebeentellingyou？"askedCynthia，inherturn，thoughsheknewhehad。

"Yes，"saidMrs。Durgin，withacertaindryness，whichwashalfhumorous。

"Ipresume，ifyoutwoaresatisfied，it’sallright。"

"Iguesswe’resatisfied，"saidthegirl，withatremorofreliefwhichshetriedtohide。

Nothingmorewassaid，andtherewasnophysicaldemonstrationofaffectionorrejoicingbetweenthewomen。Theyknewthatthetimewouldcomewhentheywouldtalkovertheaffairdowntothebonetogether，butnowtheywerecontenttorecognizethefact，andletthetimefortalkingarrivewhenitwould。"Iguess，"saidMrs。Durgin，"you’dbettergoovertothehelps’houseandseehowthatyoungestMillergirl’sgittin’

along。She’doughttogiveupandgohomeifshea’n’tfitforherwork。"

"I’llgoandseeher，"saidCynthia。"Idon’tbelieveshe’sstrongenoughforawaitress，andIhavegottotellherso。"

"Well，"returnedMrs。Durgin，glumly，afteramoment’sreflection，"Ishouldn’twantyoushouldhurryher。Waittillshe’soutofbed，andgiveheranotherchance。"

"Allright。"

Jeffhadbeenlurkingaboutfortheeventoftheinterview，andhewaylaidCynthiaonthepathtothehelps’house。

"I’mgoingovertoseethatyoungestMillergirl，"sheexplained。

"Yes，Iknowallaboutthat，"saidJeff。"Well，mothertookitjustright，didn’tshe？Youcan’talwayscountonher；butIhadn’tmuchanxietyinthiscase。Shelikesyou，Cynthia。"

"Iguessso，"saidthegirl，demurely；andshelookedawayfromhimtosmileherpleasureinthefact。

"ButIbelieveifshehadn’tknownyouwerewithheraboutmylastyearinHarvard——itwouldhavebeendifferent。Icouldsee，whenIbroughtitinthatyouwantedmetogoback，hermindwasmadeupforyou。"

"Whyneedyousayanythingaboutthat？"

"Oh，Iknewitwouldclinchher。Iunderstandmother。Ifyouwantsomethingfromheryoumustn’taskitstraightout。Youmustproposesomethingverydisagreeable。Thenwhensherefusesthat，youcancomeinforwhatyouwerereallyafterandgetit。"

"Idon’tknow，"saidCynthia，"asIshouldliketothinkthatyourmotherhadbeentrickedintofeelingrightaboutme。"

"Tricked！"ThecolorflashedupinJeff’sface。

"Notthat，Jeff，"saidthegirl，tenderly。"ButyouknowwhatImean。

Ihopeyoutalkeditalloutfullywithher。"

"Fully？Idon’tknowwhatyoumean。"

"Aboutyournotstudyinglaw，and——everything。"

"Idon’tbelieveincrossingarivertillIcometoit，"saidJeff。

"Ididn’tsayanythingtoheraboutthat。"

"Youdidn’t！"

"No。Whathaditgottodowithourbeingengaged？"

"WhathadyourgoingbacktoHarvardtodowithit？IfyourmotherthinksI’mwithherinthat，she’llthinkI’mwithherintheother。

AndI’mnot。I’mwithyou。"Sheletherhandfindhis，astheywalkedsidebyside，andgaveitalittlepressure。

"It’sthegreatestthing，Cynthy，"hesaid，breathlessly，"tohaveyouwithmeinthat。But，ifyousaidIoughttostudylaw，Ishoulddoit。"

"Ishouldn’tsaythat，forIbelieveyou’reright；butevenifIbelievedyouwerewrong，Ishouldn’tsayit。Youhavearighttomakeyourlifewhatyouwantit；andyourmotherhasn’t。Onlyshemustknowit，andyoumusttellheratonce。"

"Atonce？"

"Yes——now。Whatgoodwillitdotoputitoff？You’renotafraidtotellher！"

"Idon’tlikeyoutousethatword。"

"AndIdon’tliketouseit。ButIknowhowitis。You’reafraidthatthebruntofitwillcomeonME。She’llthinkyou’reallright，butI’mallwrongbecauseIagreewithyou。"

"Somethinglikethat。"

"Well，now，I’mnotafraidofanythingshecansay；andwhatcouldshedo？Shecan’tpartus，unlessyoulether，andthenIshouldlether，too。"

"Butwhat’sthehurry？What’stheneedofdoingitrightoff？"

"Becauseit’sadeceitnottodoit。It’salie！"

"Idon’tseeitinthatlight。Imightchangemymind，andstillgoonandstudylaw。"

"Youknowyouneverwill。Now，Jeff！Whydoyouactso？"

Jeffdidnotansweratonce。Hewalkedbesideherwithafaceoftroublethatbecameoneofresolveinthesetjaws。"Iguessyou’reright，Cynthy。She’sgottoknowtheworst，andthesoonersheknowsitthebetter。"

"Yes！"

Hehadanothermomentoffaltering。"Youdon’twantIshouldtalkitoverwithMr。Westover？"

"Whathashegottodowithit？"

"That’strue！"

"Ifyouwanttoseeitintherightlight，youcanthinkyou’veletitrunontillafteryou’reoutofcollege，andthenyou’vegottotellher。

Supposesheaskedyouhowlongyouhadmadeupyourmindagainstthelaw，howshouldyoufeel？AndifsheaskedmewhetherI’dknownitallalong，andIhadtosayIhad，andthatI’dsupportedandencouragedyouinit，howshouldIfeel？"

"Shemightn’taskanysuchquestion，"saidJeff，gloomily。Cynthiagavealittleimpatient"Oh！"andhehastenedtoadd："Butyou’reright；I’vegottotellher。I’lltellherto—night——"

"Don’twaittillto—night；doitnow。"

"Now？"

"Yes；andI’llgowithyouassoonasI’veseentheyoungestMillergirl。"Theyhadreachedthehelps’housenow，andCynthiasaid："Youwaitoutsidehere，andI’llgorightbackwithyou。Oh，Ihopeitisn’tdoingwrongtoputitofftillI’veseenthatgirl！"Shedisappearedthroughthedoor，andJeffwaitedbythestepsoutside，pluckinguponelonggrassstemafteranotherandbitingitintwo。WhenCynthiacameoutshesaid："Iguessshe’llbeallright。Nowcome，anddon’t—loseanothersecond。"

"You’reafraidIsha’n’tdoitifIwaitanylonger！"

"I’mafraidIsha’n’t。"Therewasasilenceafterthis。

"DoyouknowwhatIthinkofyou，Cynthy？"askedJeff，hurryingtokeepupwithherquicksteps。"You’vegotmorecourage——"

"Oh，don’tpraiseme，orIshallbreakdown！"

"I’llseethatyoudon’tbreakdown，"saidJeff，tenderly。"It’sthegreatestthingtohaveyougowithme！"

"Why，don’tyouSEE？"shelamented。"Ifyouwentalone，andtoldyourmotherthatIapprovedofit，youwouldlookasifyouwereafraid，andwantedtogetbehindme；andI’mnotgoingtohavethat。"

Theyfound。Mrs。Durgininthedarkentryoftheoldfarmhouse，andCynthiasaid，withinvoluntaryimperiousness："Comeinhere，Mrs。Durgin；

Iwanttotellyousomething。"

Sheledthewaytotheoldparlor，andshecheckedMrs。Durgin’squestion，"HasthatMillergirl——"

"Itisn’tabouther，"saidCynthy，pushingthedoorto。"It’saboutmeandJeff。"

Mrs。DurginbecameawareofJeff’spresencewithaneffectofsurprise。

"Therea’n’tanythingmore，isthere？"

"Yes，thereis！"Cynthiashrilled。"Now，Jeff！"

"It’sjustthis，mother：CynthythinksIoughttotellyou——andshethinksIoughttohavetoldyoulastnight——sheexpectedmeto——thatI’mnotgoingtostudylaw。"

"AndIapproveofhisnotdoingit，"Cynthiapromptlyfollowed，andsheputherselfbesideJeffwherehestoodinfrontofhismother’srocking—

chair。

Shelookedfromonetotheotherofthefacesbeforeher。"I’msorryasonofmine，"shesaid，withdignity，"hadtobetoldhowtoactwithhismother。But，ifhehad，Idon’tknowasanybodyhadabetterrighttodoitthanthegirlthat’sgoingtomarryhim。AndI’llsaythis，CynthiaWhitwell，beforeIsayanythingelse：you’vebegunright。IwishIcouldsayJeffhad。"

TherewasanuncomfortablemomentbeforeCynthiasaid："Heexpectedtotellyou。"

"OhYes！Iknow，"saidhismother，sadly。Sheadded，sharply："Anddidbeexpecttotellmewhatheintendedtodoforalivin’？"

"Jefftooktheword。"Yes，Idid。Iintendtokeepahotel。"

"Whathotel？"askedMrs。Durgin，withatouchoftauntinginhertone。

"Thisone。"

Themotherofthebold，rebelliousboythatJeffhadbeenstirredinMrs。

Durgin’sheart，andshelookedathimwiththeeyes，thatusedtocondonehismischief。Butshesaid："Iguessyou’llfindoutthatthere’smorethanonehastoagreetothat。"

"Yes，therearetwo：youandJackson；andIdon’tknowbutwhatthree，ifyoucountCynthy，here。"

Hismotherturnedtothegirl。"Youthinkthisfellow’sgotsenseenoughtokeepahotel？"

"Yes，Mrs。Durgin，Ido。Ithinkhe’sgotgoodideasaboutahotel。"

"Andwhat’shegoin’todowithhiscollegeeducation？"

Jeffinterposed。"Youthinkthatallthecollegegraduatesturnoutlawyersanddoctorsandprofessors？Someof’emaremightygladtosweepoutbanksinhopesofaclerkship；andsometakeanysortofaplaceinamillorabusinesshouse，toworkup；andsomebumroundoutWest’oncattleranches；andsome，ifthey’relucky，getnewspaperreporters’

placesattendollarsaweek。"

Cynthiafollowedwiththegeneralization："Idon’tbelieveanybodycanknowtoomuchtokeepahotel。Itwon’thurtJeffifhe’sbeentoHarvard，ortoEurope，either。"

"Iguessthere’sapairofyou，"saidMrs。Durgin，withsuperficialcontempt。Shewassilentforatime，andtheywaited。"Well，there！"

shebrokeoutagain。"I’vegotsomethingtochewuponforaspell，I

guess。Goalong，now，bothofyou！Andthenexttimeyou’vegottofaceyourmother，Jeff，don’tyoucomeinlookin’roundanybody’spetticoats！

I’llseeyoulateraboutallthis。"

Theywentawaywiththejoyfulshameofchildrenwhohaveescapedpunishment。

"That’sthelastofit，Cynthy，"saidJeff。

"Iguessso，"thegirlassented，withacertaingriefinhervoice。

"Iwishyouhadtoldherfirst！"

"Oh，nevermindthatnow！"criedJeff，andinthedimpassagewayhetookherinhisarmsandkissedher。

Hewouldhavereleasedher，butshelingeredinhisembrace。"Willyoupromisethatifthere’severanythinglikeitagain，youwon’twaitformetomakeyou？"

"Ilikeyourhavingmademe，butIpromise，"hesaid。

Thenshetightenedherarmsroundhisneckandkissedhim。

XXV。

ThewillofJeff’smotherrelaxeditsgripuponthepurposesolongheld，asifthemerestrainofthetenacityhadweariedandweakenedit。Whenitfinallyappearedthatherambitionforhersonwasnothisambitionforhimselfandwouldneverbe，sheabandonedit。Perhapsitwastheeasierforhertoforegoherhopesofhisdistinctionintheworld，becauseshehadlearnedbeforethatshemustforegoherhopesofhiminotherways。ShehadvaguelyfanciedthatwiththeacquaintancehiscareeratHarvardwouldopentohimJeffwouldmakeasplendidmarriage。

Shehadfolloweddarklingandstumblinghiscourseinsocietyasfarashewouldreportittoher，andwhenhewouldnotsufferhertogloryinit，shebelievedthathewasforbiddingherfromapridethatwouldnotrecognizeanythingoutofthecommoninit。Sheexultedinhispride，andshetookallhissnubbingreservestenderly，assomanyproofsofhissuccess。

Atthebottomofherheartshehadbothfearandcontemptofalltowns—

people，whomshegeneralizedfromherexperienceofthemassummerfolksofagreaterorlessersilliness。Sheoftenfoundherselfunabletocopewiththem，evenwhenshefeltthatshehadtwicetheirsense；sheperceivedthattheyhadsomethingfromtheirtrainingthatwithallherundisciplinedforceshecouldneverhopetowinfromherownenvironment。

Butshebelievedthathersonwouldhavetheadvantageswhichbaffledherinthem，forhewouldhavetheirenvironment；andshehadwishedhimtorivethisholduponthoseadvantagesbytakingawifefromamongthem，andbylivingthelifeoftheirworld。Herwishes，ofcourse，hadnosuchdistinctformulation，andthefeelingshehadtowardCynthiaasapossiblebarriertoherambitionhadnomoredefinition。TherehadbeentimeswhenthefitnessofhermarriagewithJeffhadmovedthemother’shearttoajealousythatshealwayskeptsilent，whileshehopedfortheaccidentortheprovidencewhichshouldannulthedanger。ButGenevieveVostrandhadnotbeenthekindofaccidentortheprovidencethatshewouldhaveinvoked，andwhenshesawJeff’sfancyturningtowardher，Mrs。DurginhadveeredroundtoCynthia。AllthesameshekeptakeeneyeupontheyoungladiesamongthesummerfolkswhocametoLion’sHead，andtacitlycanvassedtheirmeritsandinclinationswithrespecttoJeffintheoften—imaginedeventofhiscaringforanyoneofthem。Shefoundthatherartfullycasualreferencestoherson’sbeinginHarvardscarcelyaffectedtheirmothersintherightway。Thefactmadethemthinkoftheheadwaiterswhomtheyhadmetatotherhotels，andwhowereworkingtheirwaythroughDartmouthorWilliamsorYale，anditrequiredalltheforceofJeff’srobustpersonalitytodissipatetheirerroneousimpressionsofhim。Hetooktheirdaughtersoutoftheirarmsandfromundertheirnosesonlongdrivesuponhisbuckboard，anditbecameaconventionwiththemtotreathisattentionssomewhatlikethoseofapowerfulbutfaithfulvassal。

Whetherhewasindifferent，orwhethertheyoungladieswerecoy，noneoftheseofficialflirtationscametoanything。Heseemednottocareforonemorethananother；helaughedandjokedwiththemall，andhadanofficialmannerwitheachwhichservedsomewhatlikeadisparityofyearsinputtingthemattheireasewithhim。Theyagreedthathewasveryhandsome，andsomethoughthimverytalented；buttheyquestionedwhetherhewasquitewhatyouwouldcallagentleman。Itistruethatthismisgivingattackedthemmostlyinthemass；singly，theywerelittleornotatalltroubledbyit，andtheyseverallybehavedinanunprincipledindifferencetoit。

Mrs。Durginhadthecourageofherownpurposes，butshehadthefearofJeff’s。AfterthefirstpangofthedisappointmentwhichtookfinalshapefromhisdeclarationthathewasgoingtomarryCynthia，shedidnotreallycaremuch。Shehadthehabitofthegirl；sherespectedher，sheevenlovedher。Thechildren，asshethoughtofthem，hadknowneachotherfromtheirearliestdays；JeffhadpersecutedCynthiathroughouthisgracelessboyhood，buthehadneverintimidatedher；andhismother，withallherweaknessforhim，feltthatitwaswellforhimthathiswifeshouldbebraveenoughtostandupagainsthim。