第12章

“Well，gentlemen，“saidtherain-maker，“I’mpackedup，andmytrain’llbealongsoon——wouldhavebeenalongbythis，onlyit’slate。What’sthewordastomythreehundredandfiftydollars？“

Evenstilltherewereobjectionsexpressed。Hehadnotentirelyperformedhissideofthecontract。

“Ithinkdifferent，gentlemen，“saidhe。“ButI’llunpackandletthattraingo。Ican’thavethelawonyou，Isuppose。Butifyoudon’tpayme“(therain-makerputhishandsinhispocketsandleanedagainstthefence)“I’llfloodyourtown。“

Inearthquakesanderuptionspeopleendbyexpectinganything；andinthetotaleclipsethatwasnowoverallCheyenne’sordinarystandardsandprecedentsthebewilderedcommunitysawinthisthreatnothingmoreunusualthanifhehadsaidtwicetwomadefour。Thepursewashandedover。

“I’mobliged，“saidHilbrun，simply。

“IfIhadforeseen，gentlemen，“saidJode，toodeeplygrievednowtofeelanger，“thatIwouldevenbeindirectlyassociatedwithyourlosingyourmoneythroughthis——thisabsurdoccurrence，Iwouldhavedeclinedtohelpyou。Itbecomesmyduty，“hecontinued，turningcoldlytotheinebriatedLusk，“tohandthistoyou，sir。“Andtheassistantlurchinglystuffedhisstakesaway。

“It’sworthit，“saidLin。“He’swelcometomycash。“

“What’sthatyousay，LinMcLean？“Itwasthebiscuit-shooter，andshesurgedtothefront。

“I’mbroke。He’sgotit。That’sall，“saidLin，briefly。

“Broke!You!“Sheglaredatherathleticyounglord，andsheutteredapreliminaryhowl。

Atthatlong-lostcryLuskturnedhissillyface。“It’smydarlingKate，“

hesaid。“Why，Kate!“

ThenextthingthatIknewOgdenandIweregrapplingwithLinMcLean；

foreverythinghadhappenedatonce。Thebridehadswoopeduponherfirstweddedloveandburstintotearsontheman’sneck，whichLinwastryingtobreakinconsequence。Wedonotalwaysrecognizeourbenefactorsatsight。Theyallcametotheground，andwehauledthesecondhusbandoff。

TheladyandLuskremainedinaheap，hefoolish，tearful，andaffectionate；sheturnedfuriouslyatbay，hisguardianangel，indifferenttotheonlookingcrowd，andhurlingrighteousdefianceatLin。“Don’tyusdarelayyerfingeronmyhusband，yousage-brushbigamist!“iswhatthemarvelousfemalesaid。

“Bigamist？“repeatedLin，dazedatthischarge。“Iain’t，“hesaidtoOgdenandme。“Ineverdid。I’venevermarriedanyof’embeforeher。“

“Littlegoodthat’lldoyus，LinMcLean!MeandhimwasmanandwifebeforeeverIcomeacrosstyus。“

“Youandhim？“murmuredthepuncher。

“Herandme，“whimperedLusk。“Sidney。“Hesatupwithalimp，confidingstareateverybody。

“Sidneywho？“saidLin。

“No，no，“correctedLusk，crossly——“Sidney，Nebraska。“

Thestakesatthispointfellfromhispocketwhichhedidnotnotice。

Butthebridehadtheminsafe-keepingatonce。

“Whoareyu’，anyway——whenyu’ain’tdrunk？“demandedLin。

“He’sasgoodamanasyou，andbetter，“snortedtheguardianangel。

“Givehimapistol，andhe’llmakeyouhardtofind。“

“Well，youlistentome，SidneyNebraska——“Linbegan。

“No，no，“correctedLuskoncemore，asadistantwhistleblew——“Jim。“

“Good-bye，gentlemen，“saidtherain-maker。“That’sthewest-bound。I’mperfectlysatisfiedwithmyexperimenthere，andI’mofftorepeatitatSaltLakeCity。“

“Youare？“shoutedLinMcLean。“HimandJim’sgoingtoworkitagain!Forgoodness’sake，somebodylendmetwenty-fivedollars!“

Atthistherewasaninstantaneousrush。Tenminuteslater，infrontoftheticket-windowstherewasalineofcitizensbuyingticketsforSaltLakeasifithadbeenMadameBernhardt。Somerockhadbeensmitten，andreadymoneyhadflowedforth。TheGovernorsawusoff，sadthathisdutiesshoulddetainhim。ButJodewent!

“Bettingisthefool’sargument，gentlemen，“saidhetoOgden，McLean，andme，“andit’sawearytimesinceIhavehadthepleasure。“

“Whichwayareyu’bettin’？“Linasked。

“Withmyprinciples，sir，“answeredthelittlesignal-serviceofficer。

“IexpectIain’tgotany，“saidthepuncher。“It’sJimI’mbackin’thistime。“

“Seehere，“saidI；“Iwanttotalktoyou。“Wewentintoanothercar，andIdid。

“Andsoyu’knowedaboutLuskwhenwewasonthemboardwalks？“thepunchersaid。

“DoyoumeanIoughttohave——“

“Shucks!no。Yu’couldn’t。Nobodycouldn’t。It’saqueerworld，allthesame。Yu’havegoodfriends，andallthat。“Helookedoutofthewindow。“

Laramiealready!“hecommented，andgotoutandwalkedbyhimselfontheplatformuntilwehadstartedagain。“Yu’havegoodfriends，“hepursued，settlinghimselfsohislonglegswerestretchedandcomfortable，“andtheytellyu’things，andyoutellthemthings。Andwhenitdon’tmakenoparticularmatteronewayortheother，yu’give’emyourhonestopinionandtalkstraightto’em，andthey’llcometoyouthesameway。Sothatwhenyu’reridin’therangealonesometimes，andthinkin’aloto’thingsoverontopmaybeofsomedog-gonedhill，you’llsaytoyourselfaboutsomefellowyu’knowmightywell，’There’samanisagoodfriendofmine。’Andyu’meanit。Andit’sso。Yetwhenmattersisserious，asoncedinawhilethey’reboundtoget，andyu’reinaplumbhole，whereisthemanthen——yourgoodfriend？Why，he’swhereyu’wanthimtobe。

Standin’off，keepin’hismouthshut，andlettin’yu’findyourowntrailout。Ifhetriedtoshowittoyu’，yu’dlikelyhithim。Butshucks!

Circumstanceshaveshowedmethetrailthistime，youbet!“Andthepuncher’sface，whichhadbeensombre，grewlively，andhelaidafriendlyhandonmyknee。

“Thetrail’sprettysimple，“saidI。

“Youbet!Butit’ssureaqueerworld。Tellyu’，“saidLin，withtheairofhavingmadeadiscovery，“whenamangetsdowntobed-rockaffairsinthislifehe’sgottodohistravellin’alone，sameashedoeshisdyin’。

Iexpectevenmarriedmenhasthoughtsandhopestheydon’ttelltheirwives。“

“Neverwasmarried，“saidI。

“Well——nomorewasI。Let’sgotobed。“AndLinshookmyhand，andgavemeasingular，rathermelancholysmile。

AtSaltLakeCity，whichOgdenwasgladtoincludeinhisWesternholiday，wefoundbothMormonandGentilereadytogiveusoddsagainstrain——onlyInoticedthatthoseofthetruefaithwerelessfree。Indeed；

theMormon，theQuaker，andmostsectsofanisolateddoctrinehaveaniceprudenceinmoney。Duringourbriefstaywevisitedthesights：

floatinginthelake，listeningtopinsdropinthegalleryoftheTabernacle，seeingfrescosofsaintsinrobesspeakingfromheaventoJosephSmithintheSundayclothesofamodernfarm-hand，andinthestreetweheardatadistanceastrenuousdomestictalkbetweenthenew——

orperhapsIshouldsaytheoriginal——husbandandwife。

“She’scorralledSidney’scash!“saidthedelightedLin。“Hecan’tbetnothingonthisshower“

Andthen，afterall，thistime——itdidn’train!

Strippedofmoneybothways，Cheyenne，havingmostfortunatelypurchasedareturnticket，soughtitshome。Theperplexedrain-makerwentsomewhereelse，withouthisassistant。Lusk’sexultingwife，havingthemoney，retainedhimwithher。

“Goodlucktoyu’，Sidney!“saidLin，speakingtohimforthefirsttimesinceCheyenne。“IfeelaheapbettersinceI’vesawyu’married。“Hepaidnoattentiontothebiscuit-shooter，orthehorriblelanguagethatshethrewafterhim。

Jodealsofelt“aheapbetter。“Legitimatesciencehadtriumphed。To-day，mostofCheyennebelieveswithJodethatitwasallacoincidence。SouthCarolinahadbetonherprinciples，andwonfromLinthefewdollarsthatIhadlentthepuncher。

“Andwhatwillyoudonow？“IsaidtoLin。

“Jointhebeefround-up。Balaam’spayin’fortydollars。Iguessthat’llkeepasingleman。“

AJOURNEYINSEARCHOFCHRISTMAS

TheGovernordescendedthestepsoftheCapitolslowlyandwithpauses，liftingalistfrequentlytohiseye。Hehadintermittentlypencilleditbetweenstagesoftheforenoon’spublicbusiness，andhisgaitgrewabsentasherecurrednowtohisjottingsintheiraccumulation，withaslightpainattheirnumber，andthedefinitefearthattheywouldbemoreinseasonstocome。Theywerethenamesofhisfriends’childrentowhomhisexcellentheartmovedhimtogiveChristmaspresents。Hehadputoffthisregeneratingeviluntilthelatestday，aswashiscustom，andnowhewassettingforthtodothewholethingatablow，entirelyplanlessamongthegunsandrocking-horsesthatwouldpresentlysurroundhim。Ashereachedthehighwayheheardhimselffamiliarlyaddressedfromadistance，and，turning，sawfoursonsofthealkalijoggingintotownfromtheplain。Onewhohadshoutedtohimgallopedoutfromtheothers，roundedtheCapitol’senclosure，and，approachingwithradiantcountenanceleanedtoreachthehandoftheGovernor，andonceagaingreetedhimwithahilarious“Hello，Doc!“

GovernorBarker，M。D。，seeingMr。McLeanunexpectedlyafterseveralyears，hailedthehorsemanwithfrankandlivelypleasure，and，inquiringwhomightbetheotherridersbehind，wastoldthattheywereShorty，Chalkeye，andDollarBill，comeforChristmas。“Anddandiestohittownwith，“Mr。McLeanadded。“Red-hot。“

“Iamacquaintedwiththem，“assentedhisExcellency。

“We’vebeenridin’trailfortwelveweeks，“thecow-punchercontinued，“makin’ourbedsdownanywheres，andeatin’thesameoldchuckeveryday。

Sowe’veshookfriedbeefandheifer’sdelight，andwe’regoin’tofeedhigh。“

ThenMr。McLeanoverflowedwithtalkandpungentconfidences，fortheholidaysalreadyriotedinhisspirit，andhistonguewasloosedovertheircomingrites。

“We’vesouredonscenery，“hefinished，inhisdrasticidiom。“We’resickofmoonlightandcow-dung，andwe’reheeledforabigtime。“

“Callonme，“remarkedtheGovernor，cheerily，“whenyou’rereadyforbromidesandsulphates。“

“Iain’tbox-headednomore，“protestedMr。McLean；“I’vegotmaturity，Doc，sinceIseenyu’attherain-making，andI’maheapolderthanthemhospitaldayswhenIbustmylegonyu’。Threeorfourglassesandquit。

That’smyrule。“

“Thatyourrule，too？“inquiredtheGovernorofShorty，Chalkeye，andDollarBill。Thesegentlemenofthesaddleweresittingquiteexpressionlessupontheirhorses。

“Weain’ttalkin’，we’rewaitin’，“observedChalkeye；andthethreecynicssmiledamiably。

“Well，Doc，seeyu’again，“saidMr。McLean。Heturnedtoaccompanyhisbrothercow-punchers，butinthatparticularmomentFatedescendedorcameupfromwhateverplaceshedwellsinandenteredthebodyoftheunsuspectingGovernor。

“What’syourhurry？“saidFate，speakingintheofficial’sheartymanner。

“Comealongwithme。“

“Can’tdoit。Whereareyu’goin’？“

“Christmasing，“repliedFate。

“Well，I’vegottofeedmyhorse。Christmasing，yu’say？“

“Yes；I’mbuyingtoys。“

“Toys!You？Whatfor？“

“Oh，somekids。“

“Yourn？“screechedLin，precipitately。

HisExcellencythejovialGovernoropenedhisteethinpleasureatthis，forhewasabachelor，andtherewerefifteenuponhislist，whichheheldupfortheedificationofthehastyMcLean。“Notmine，I’mhappytosay。Myfriendskeepmarryingandsettling，andtheirkidscallmeuncle，andclimbaroundandbother，andIforgettheirnames，andthinkit’sagirl，andthemothergetsmad。Why，ifIdidn’tremembertheselittlefolksatChristmasthey’dbewondering——notthekids，theyjustbreakyourtoysanddon’tnotice；butthemotherwouldwonder——’What’sthematterwithDr。Barker？HasGovernorBarkergonebackonus？’——that’swherethestraincomes!“hebrokeoff，facingMr。McLeanwithanotherspaciouslaugh。