第41章

accursedlife；andTHERE——somewherelosttome——thingswerehappening——momentous，terriblethings……Ilivedatnights——mydays，mywakingdays，thislifeIamlivingnow，becameafaded，far-awaydream，adrabsetting，thecoverofthebook。“

Hethought。

“Icouldtellyouall，tellyoueverylittlethinginthedream，butastowhatIdidinthedaytime——no。Icouldnottell——Idonotremember。Mymemory——mymemoryhasgone。Thebusinessoflifeslipsfromme——“

Heleantforward，andpressedhishandsuponhiseyes。Foralongtimehesaidnothing。

“Andthen？“saidI。

“Thewarburstlikeahurricane。“

Hestaredbeforehimatunspeakablethings。

“Andthen？“Iurgedagain。

“Onetouchofunreality，“hesaid，inthelowtoneofamanwhospeakstohimself，“andtheywouldhavebeennightmares。Buttheywerenotnightmares——theywerenotnightmares。NO！“

Hewassilentforsolongthatitdawneduponmethattherewasadangeroflosingtherestofthestory。Buthewentontalkingagaininthesametoneofquestioningself-communion。

“Whatwastheretodobutflight？IhadnotthoughtthewarwouldtouchCapri——IhadseemedtoseeCapriasbeingoutofitall，asthecontrasttoitall；buttwonightsafterthewholeplacewasshoutingandbawling，everywomanalmostandeveryothermanworeabadge——Evesham’sbadge——andtherewasnomusicbutajanglingwar-songoverandoveragain，andeverywheremenenlisting，andinthedancinghallstheyweredrilling。Thewholeislandwasawhirlwithrumours；itwassaid，againandagain，thatfightinghadbegun。

Ihadnotexpectedthis。IhadseensolittleofthelifeofpleasurethatIhadfailedtoreckonwiththisviolenceoftheamateurs。

Andasforme，Iwasoutofit。Iwaslikeamanwhomighthavepreventedthefiringofamagazine。Thetimehadgone。Iwasnoone；

thevaineststriplingwithabadgecountedformorethanI。Thecrowdjostledusandbawledinourears；thataccursedsongdeafenedus；

awomanshriekedatmyladybecausenobadgewasonher，andwetwowentbacktoourownplaceagain，ruffledandinsulted——

myladywhiteandsilent，andIaquiverwithrage。SofuriouswasI，IcouldhavequarrelledwithherifIcouldhavefoundoneshadeofaccusationinhereyes。

“Allmymagnificencehadgonefromme。Iwalkedupanddownourrockcell，andoutsidewasthedarklingseaandalighttothesouthwardthatflaredandpassedandcameagain。

“’Wemustgetoutofthisplace，’Isaidoverandover。’Ihavemademychoice，andIwillhavenohandinthesetroubles。Iwillhavenothingofthiswar。Wehavetakenourlivesoutofallthesethings。Thisisnorefugeforus。Letusgo。’

“Andthenextdaywewerealreadyinflightfromthewarthatcoveredtheworld。

“AndalltherestwasFlight——alltherestwasFlight。“

Hemuseddarkly。

“Howmuchwasthereofit？“

Hemadenoanswer。