第20章

Thesightfairlymademesick。Buttheyevidentlyexpectedsomerecognition，soIwavedmyarmsinastrikingsortofnon-committalmanner。AndthenIturnedandstalkedontowardsthetreesagain。

AtthattimeIwasprayinglikemad，Iremember，overandoveragain:

’Lordhelpmethroughwithit！Lordhelpmethroughwithit！’It’sonlyfoolswhoknownothingofdangerscanaffordtolaughatpraying。

“Buttheseniggersweren’tgoingtoletmewalkthroughandawaylikethat。Theystartedakindofbowingdanceaboutme，andsortofpressedmetotakeapathwaythatlaythroughthetrees。Itwascleartometheydidn’ttakemeforaBritishcitizen，whateverelsetheythoughtofme，andformyownpartIwasneverlessanxioustoownuptotheoldcountry。

“You’dhardlybelieveit，perhaps，unlessyou’refamiliarwithsavages，butthesepoormisguided，ignorantcreaturestookmestraighttotheirkindofjossplacetopresentmetotheblessedoldblackstonethere。BythistimeIwasbeginningtosortofrealisethedepthoftheirignorance，anddirectlyIseteyesonthisdeityItookmycue。Istartedabaritonehowl，’wow-wow，’verylongononenote，andbeganwavingmyarmsaboutalot，andthenveryslowlyandceremoniouslyturnedtheirimageoveronitssideandsatdownonit。Iwantedtositdownbadly，fordiving-dressesain’tmuchwearinthetropics。Or，toputitdifferentlike，they’reasighttoomuch。Ittookawaytheirbreath，Icouldsee，mysittingontheirjoss，butinlesstimethanaminutetheymadeuptheirmindsandwerehardatworkworshippingme。AndIcantellyouIfeltabitrelievedtoseethingsturningoutsowell，inspiteoftheweightonmyshouldersandfeet。

“Butwhatmademeanxiouswaswhatthechapsinthecanoesmightthinkwhentheycameback。Ifthey’dseenmeintheboatbeforeIwentdown，andwithoutthehelmeton——fortheymighthavebeenspyingandhidingsinceovernight——theywouldverylikelytakeadifferentviewfromtheothers。Iwasinadeuceofastewaboutthatforhours，asitseemed，untiltheshindyofthearrivalbegan。

“Buttheytookitdown——thewholeblessedvillagetookitdown。

Atthecostofsittingupstiffandstern，asmuchlikethosesittingEgyptianimagesoneseesasIcouldmanage，forprettynearlytwelvehours，Ishouldguessatleast，onend，Igotoverit。You’dhardlythinkwhatitmeantinthatheatandstink。Idon’tthinkanyofthemdreamtofthemaninside。Iwasjustawonderfulleatherygreatjossthathadcomeupwithluckoutofthewater。Butthefatigue！

theheat！thebeastlycloseness！themackintosherinessandtherum！

andthefuss！Theylitastinkingfireonakindoflavaslabtherewasbeforeme，andbroughtinalotofgorymuck——theworstpartsofwhattheywerefeastingonoutside，theBeasts——andburntitallinmyhonour。Iwasgettingabithungry，butIunderstandnowhowgodsmanagetodowithouteating，whatwiththesmellofburntofferingsaboutthem。Andtheybroughtinalotofthestuffthey’dgotoffthebrigand，amongotherstuff，whatIwasabitrelievedtosee，thekindofpneumaticpumpthatwasusedforthecompressedairaffair，andthenalotofchapsandgirlscameinanddancedaboutmesomethingdisgraceful。It’sextraordinarythedifferentwaysdifferentpeoplehaveofshowingrespect。IfI’dhadahatchethandyI’dhavegoneforthelotofthem——theymademefeelthatwild。

AllthistimeIsatasstiffascompany，notknowinganythingbettertodo。Andatlast，whennightfallcame，andthewattlejoss-houseplacegotabittooshadowyfortheirtaste——alltheseheresavagesareafraidofthedark，youknow——andIstartedasortof’Moo’noise，theybuiltbigbonfiresoutsideandleftmealoneinpeaceinthedarknessofmyhut，freetounscrewmywindowsabitandthinkthingsover，andfeeljustasbadasIliked。And，Lord！Iwassick。

“Iwasweakandhungry，andmymindkeptonbehavinglikeabeetleonapin，tremendousactivityandnothingdoneattheendofit。

Comeroundjustwhereitwasbefore。Therewassorrowingfortheotherchaps，beastlydrunkardscertainly，butnotdeservingsuchafate，andyoungSanderswiththespearthroughhisneckwouldn’tgooutofmymind。TherewasthetreasuredownthereintheOceanPioneer，andhowonemightgetitandhideitsomewheresafer，andgetawayandcomebackforit。Andtherewasthepuzzlewheretogetanythingtoeat。ItellyouIwasfairrambling。Iwasafraidtoaskbysignsforfood，forfearofbehavingtoohuman，andsothereIsatandhungereduntilverynearthedawn。Thenthevillagegotabitquiet，andIcouldn’tstanditanylonger，andIwentoutandgotsomestufflikeartichokesinabowlandsomesourmilk。WhatwasleftoftheseIputawayamongtheotherofferings，justtogivethemahintofmytastes。Andinthemorningtheycametoworship，andfoundmesittingupstiffandrespectableontheirpreviousgod，justasthey’dleftmeovernight。I’dgotmybackagainstthecentralpillarofthehut，and，practically，Iwasasleep。Andthat’showIbecameagodamongtheheathen——afalsegodnodoubt，andblasphemous，butonecan’talwayspickandchoose。

“Now，Idon’twanttocrackmyselfupasagodbeyondmymerits，butImustconfessthatwhileIwasgodtothesepeopletheywasextraordinarysuccessful。Idon’tsaythere’sanythinginit，mindyou。Theywonabattlewithanothertribe——IgotalotofofferingsIdidn’twantthroughit——theyhadwonderfulfishing，andtheircropofpourrawasexceptionalfine。AndtheycountedthecaptureofthebrigamongthebenefitsIbrought’em。ImustsayIdon’tthinkthatwasapoorrecordforaperfectlynewhand。

And，thoughperhapsyou’dscarcelycreditit，Iwasthetribalgodofthosebeastlysavagesforprettynearlyfourmonths……

“WhatelsecouldIdo，man？ButIdidn’twearthatdiving-dressallthetime。Imade’emrigmeupasortofholyofholies，andadeuceofatimeIhadtoo，makingthemunderstandwhatitwasIwantedthemtodo。Thatindeedwasthegreatdifficulty——makingthemunderstandmywishes。Icouldn’tletmyselfdownbytalkingtheirlingobadly——evenifI’dbeenabletospeakatall——andIcouldn’tgoflappingalotofgesturesatthem。SoIdrewpicturesinsandandsatdownbesidethemandhootedlikeoneo’clock。SometimestheydidthethingsIwantedallright，andsometimestheydidthemallwrong。Theywasalwaysverywilling，certainly。AllthewhileIwaspuzzlinghowIwastogettheconfoundedbusinesssettled。

EverynightbeforethedawnIusedtomarchoutinfullrigandgoofftoaplacewhereIcouldseethechannelinwhichtheOceanPioneerlaysunk，andonceeven，onemoonlightnight，Itriedtowalkouttoher，buttheweedsandrocksanddarkcleanbeatme。Ididn’tgetbacktillfullday，andthenIfoundallthosesillyniggersoutonthebeachprayingtheirsea-godtoreturntothem。Iwasthatvexedandtired，messingandtumblingabout，andcomingupandgoingdownagain，Icouldhavepunchedtheirsillyheadsallroundwhentheystartedrejoicing。I’mhangedifIlikesomuchceremony。

“Andthencamethemissionary。Thatmissionary！Itwasintheafternoon，andIwassittinginstateinmyoutertempleplace，sittingonthatoldblackstoneoftheirswhenhecame。Iheardarowoutsideandjabbering，andthenhisvoicespeakingtoaninterpreter。

’Theyworshipstocksandstones，’hesaid，andIknewwhatwasup，inaflash。Ihadoneofmywindowsoutforcomfort，andIsangoutstraightawayonthespurofthemoment。’Stocksandstones！’Isays。

’Youcomeinside，’Isays，’andI’llpunchyourbloominghead。’

Therewasakindofsilenceandmorejabbering，andinhecame，Bibleinhand，afterthemannerofthem——alittlesandychapinspecksandapithhelmet。Iflattermyselfthatmesittingthereintheshadows，withmycopperheadandmybiggoggles，struckhimabitofaheapatfirst。’Well，’Isays，’how’sthetradeincalico？’

forIdon’tholdwithmissionaries。

“Ihadalarkwiththatmissionary。Hewasarawhand，andquiteoutclassedwithamanlikeme。HegaspedoutwhowasI，andItoldhimtoreadtheinscriptionatmyfeetifhewantedtoknow。Downhegoestoread，andhisinterpreter，beingofcourseassuperstitiousasanyofthem，tookitasanactofworshipandplumpeddownlikeashot。Allmypeoplegaveahowloftriumph，andtherewasn’tanymorebusinesstobedoneinmyvillageafterthatjourney，notbythelikesofhim。

“But，ofcourse，Iwasafooltochokehimofflikethat。IfI’dhadanysenseIshouldhavetoldhimstraightawayofthetreasureandtakenhimintoCo。I’venodoubthe’dhavecomeintoCo。Achild，withafewhourstothinkitover，couldhaveseentheconnectionbetweenmydiving-dressandthelossoftheOceanPioneer。AweekafterheleftIwentoutonemorningandsawtheMotherhood，thesalver’sshipfromStarrRace，towingupthechannelandsounding。

Thewholeblessedgamewasup，andallmytroublethrownaway。Gummy！

HowwildIfelt！Andguyingitinthatstinkingsillydress！Fourmonths！“

Thesunburntman’sstorydegeneratedagain。“Thinkofit，“hesaid，whenheemergedtolinguisticpurityoncemore。“Fortythousandpoundsworthofgold。“

“Didthelittlemissionarycomeback？“Iasked。

“Oh，yes！Blesshim！Andhepledgedhisreputationtherewasamaninsidethegod，andstartedouttoseeasmuchwithtremendousceremony。Buttherewasn’t——hegotsoldagain。Ialwaysdidhatescenesandexplanations，andlongbeforehecameIwasoutofitall——goinghometoBanyaalongthecoast，hidinginbushesbyday，andthievingfoodfromthevillagesbynight。Onlyweapon，aspear。

Noclothes，nomoney。Nothing。Myfacewasmyfortune，asthesayingis。Andjustasqueakofeightthousandpoundsofgold——fifthshare。

Butthenativescutuprusty，thankgoodness，becausetheythoughtitwashimhaddriventheirluckaway。“