第7章

III

INLINCOLNTHEBESTpartofthetheatricalseasoncamelate，whenthegoodcompaniesstoppedoffthereforone-nightstands，aftertheirlongrunsinNewYorkandChicago。ThatspringLenawentwithmetoseeJosephJeffersonin`RipVanWinkle，\'

andtoawarplaycalled`Shenandoah。\'Shewasinflexibleaboutpayingforherownseat；saidshewasinbusinessnow，andshewouldn\'thaveaschoolboyspendinghismoneyonher。

IlikedtowatchaplaywithLena；everythingwaswonderfultoher，andeverythingwastrue。Itwaslikegoingtorevivalmeetingswithsomeonewhowasalwaysbeingconverted。Shehandedherfeelingsovertotheactorswithakindoffatalisticresignation。

Accessoriesofcostumeandscenemeantmuchmoretoherthantome。

Shesatentrancedthrough`RobinHood\'andhunguponthelipsofthecontraltowhosang，`Oh，PromiseMe！\'

TowardtheendofApril，thebillboards，whichIwatchedanxiouslyinthosedays，bloomedoutonemorningwithgleamingwhitepostersonwhichtwonameswereimpressivelyprintedinblueGothicletters:

thenameofanactressofwhomIhadoftenheard，andthename`Camille。\'

IcalledattheRaleighBlockforLenaonSaturdayevening，andwewalkeddowntothetheatre。Theweatherwaswarmandsultryandputusbothinaholidayhumour。

Wearrivedearly，becauseLenalikedtowatchthepeoplecomein。

Therewasanoteontheprogramme，sayingthatthe`incidentalmusic\'

wouldbefromtheopera`Traviata，\'whichwasmadefromthesamestoryastheplay。Wehadneitherofusreadtheplay，andwedidnotknowwhatitwasabout——thoughIseemedtorememberhavinghearditwasapieceinwhichgreatactressesshone。

`TheCountofMonteCristo，\'whichIhadseenJamesO\'Neillplaythatwinter，wasbytheonlyAlexandreDumasIknew。Thisplay，Isaw，wasbyhisson，andIexpectedafamilyresemblance。

Acoupleofjack-rabbits，runinofftheprairie，couldnothavebeenmoreinnocentofwhatawaitedthemthanwereLenaandI。

Ourexcitementbeganwiththeriseofthecurtain，whenthemoodyVarville，seatedbeforethefire，interrogatedNanine。

Decidedly，therewasanewtangaboutthisdialogue。

Ihadneverheardinthetheatrelinesthatwerealive，thatpresupposedandtookforgranted，likethosewhichpassedbetweenVarvilleandMargueriteinthebriefencounterbeforeherfriendsentered。Thisintroducedthemostbrilliant，worldly，themostenchantinglygaysceneIhadeverlookedupon。

Ihadneverseenchampagnebottlesopenedonthestagebefore——

indeed，Ihadneverseenthemopenedanywhere。Thememoryofthatsuppermakesmehungrynow；thesightofitthen，whenIhadonlyastudents\'boarding-housedinnerbehindme，wasdelicatetorment。Iseemtoremembergildedchairsandtables(arrangedhurriedlybyfootmeninwhiteglovesandstockings)，linenofdazzlingwhiteness，glitteringglass，silverdishes，agreatbowloffruit，andthereddestofroses。

Theroomwasinvadedbybeautifulwomenanddashingyoungmen，laughingandtalkingtogether。Themenweredressedmoreorlessaftertheperiodinwhichtheplaywaswritten；thewomenwerenot。

Isawnoinconsistency。Theirtalkseemedtoopentoonethebrilliantworldinwhichtheylived；everysentencemadeoneolderandwiser，everypleasantryenlargedone\'shorizon。

Onecouldexperienceexcessandsatietywithouttheinconvenienceoflearningwhattodowithone\'shandsinadrawing-room！

WhenthecharactersallspokeatonceandImissedsomeofthephrasestheyflashedateachother，Iwasinmisery。

Istrainedmyearsandeyestocatcheveryexclamation。

TheactresswhoplayedMargueritewaseventhenold-fashioned，thoughhistoric。ShehadbeenamemberofDaly\'sfamousNewYorkcompany，andafterwarda`star\'underhisdirection。

Shewasawomanwhocouldnotbetaught，itissaid，thoughshehadacrudenaturalforcewhichcarriedwithpeoplewhosefeelingswereaccessibleandwhosetastewasnotsqueamish。

Shewasalreadyold，witharavagedcountenanceandaphysiquecuriouslyhardandstiff。Shemovedwithdifficulty——

Ithinkshewaslame——Iseemtoremembersomestoryaboutamaladyofthespine。HerArmandwasdisproportionatelyyoungandslight，ahandsomeyouth，perplexedintheextreme。

Butwhatdiditmatter？Ibelieveddevoutlyinherpowertofascinatehim，inherdazzlingloveliness。Ibelievedheryoung，ardent，reckless，disillusioned，undersentence，feverish，avidofpleasure。Iwantedtocrossthefootlightsandhelptheslim-waistedArmandinthefrilledshirttoconvinceherthattherewasstillloyaltyanddevotionintheworld。

Hersuddenillness，whenthegaietywasatitsheight，herpallor，thehandkerchiefshecrushedagainstherlips，thecoughshesmotheredunderthelaughterwhileGastonkeptplayingthepianolightly——itallwrungmyheart。

Butnotsomuchashercynicisminthelongdialoguewithherloverwhichfollowed。HowfarwasIfromquestioningherunbelief！

Whilethecharminglysincereyoungmanpleadedwithher——

accompaniedbytheorchestraintheold`Traviata\'duet，\'misterioso，misterios\'altero！\'——shemaintainedherbitterscepticism，andthecurtainfellonherdancingrecklesslywiththeothers，afterArmandhadbeensentawaywithhisflower。

Betweentheactswehadnotimetoforget。Theorchestrakeptsawingawayatthe`Traviata\'music，sojoyousandsad，sothinandfar-away，soclap-trapandyetsoheart-breaking。

AfterthesecondactIleftLenaintearfulcontemplationoftheceiling，andwentoutintothelobbytosmoke。

AsIwalkedaboutthereIcongratulatedmyselfthatIhadnotbroughtsomeLincolngirlwhowouldtalkduringthewaitsaboutthejuniordances，orwhetherthecadetswouldcampatPlattsmouth。

Lenawasatleastawoman，andIwasaman。

ThroughthescenebetweenMargueriteandtheelderDuval，Lenaweptunceasingly，andIsathelplesstopreventtheclosingofthatchapterofidylliclove，dreadingthereturnoftheyoungmanwhoseineffablehappinesswasonlytobethemeasureofhisfall。

Isupposenowomancouldhavebeenfurtherinperson，voice，andtemperamentfromDumas\'appealingheroinethantheveteranactresswhofirstacquaintedmewithher。

Herconceptionofthecharacterwasasheavyanduncompromisingasherdiction；sheborehardontheideaandontheconsonants。

Atalltimesshewashighlytragic，devouredbyremorse。

Lightnessofstressorbehaviourwasfarfromher。

Hervoicewasheavyanddeep:`Ar-r-r-mond！\'shewouldbegin，asifsheweresummoninghimtothebarofJudgment。

Butthelineswereenough。Shehadonlytoutterthem。

Theycreatedthecharacterinspiteofher。

TheheartlessworldwhichMargueritere-enteredwithVarvillehadneverbeensoglitteringandrecklessasonthenightwhenitgatheredinOlympe\'ssalonforthefourthact。

Therewerechandeliershungfromtheceiling，Iremember，manyservantsinlivery，gaming-tableswherethemenplayedwithpilesofgold，andastaircasedownwhichtheguestsmadetheirentrance。Afteralltheothershadgatheredroundthecard-tablesandyoungDuvalhadbeenwarnedbyPrudence，MargueritedescendedthestaircasewithVarville；

suchacloak，suchafan，suchjewels——andherface！

Oneknewataglancehowitwaswithher。WhenArmand，withtheterriblewords，`Look，allofyou，Iowethiswomannothing！\'

flungthegoldandbank-notesatthehalf-swooningMarguerite，Lenacoweredbesidemeandcoveredherfacewithherhands。

Thecurtainroseonthebedroomscene。Bythistimetherewasn\'tanerveinmethathadn\'tbeentwisted。Naninealonecouldhavemademecry。

IlovedNaninetenderly；andGaston，howoneclungtothatgoodfellow！

TheNewYear\'spresentswerenottoomuch；nothingcouldbetoomuchnow。

Iweptunrestrainedly。Eventhehandkerchiefinmybreast-pocket，wornforeleganceandnotatallforuse，waswetthroughbythetimethatmoribundwomansankforthelasttimeintothearmsofherlover。

Whenwereachedthedoorofthetheatre，thestreetswereshiningwithrain。IhadprudentlybroughtalongMrs。Harling\'susefulCommencementpresent，andItookLenahomeunderitsshelter。Afterleavingher，IwalkedslowlyoutintothecountrypartofthetownwhereIlived。

Thelilacswereallbloomingintheyards，andthesmellofthemaftertherain，ofthenewleavesandtheblossomstogether，blewintomyfacewithasortofbittersweetness。

Itrampedthroughthepuddlesandundertheshowerytrees，mourningforMargueriteGauthierasifshehaddiedonlyyesterday，sighingwiththespiritof1840，whichhadsighedsomuch，andwhichhadreachedmeonlythatnight，acrosslongyearsandseverallanguages，throughthepersonofaninfirmoldactress。

Theideaisonethatnocircumstancescanfrustrate。

Whereverandwheneverthatpieceisputon，itisApril。

IV

HOWWELLIREMEMBERthestifflittleparlourwhereIusedtowaitforLena:thehardhorsehairfurniture，boughtatsomeauctionsale，thelongmirror，thefashion-platesonthewall。

IfIsatdownevenforamoment，IwassuretofindthreadsandbitsofcolouredsilkclingingtomyclothesafterIwentaway。

Lena\'ssuccesspuzzledme。Shewassoeasygoing；hadnoneofthepushandself-assertivenessthatgetpeopleaheadinbusiness。

ShehadcometoLincoln，acountrygirl，withnointroductionsexcepttosomecousinsofMrs。Thomaswholivedthere，andshewasalreadymakingclothesforthewomenof`theyoungmarriedset。\'

Evidentlyshehadgreatnaturalaptitudeforherwork。

Sheknew，asshesaid，`whatpeoplelookedwellin。\'

Shenevertiredofporingoverfashion-books。SometimesintheeveningIwouldfindheraloneinherwork-room，drapingfoldsofsatinonawirefigure，withaquiteblissfulexpressionofcountenance。

Icouldn\'thelpthinkingthattheyearswhenLenaliterallyhadn\'tenoughclothestocoverherselfmighthavesomethingtodowithheruntiringinterestindressingthehumanfigure。HerclientssaidthatLena`hadstyle，\'andoverlookedherhabitualinaccuracies。

Shenever，Idiscovered，finishedanythingbythetimeshehadpromised，andshefrequentlyspentmoremoneyonmaterialsthanhercustomerhadauthorized。Once，whenIarrivedatsixo\'clock，Lenawasusheringoutafidgetymotherandherawkward，overgrowndaughter。

ThewomandetainedLenaatthedoortosayapologetically:

`You\'lltrytokeepitunderfiftyforme，won\'tyou，MissLingard？

Yousee，she\'sreallytooyoungtocometoanexpensivedressmaker，butIknewyoucoulddomorewithherthananybodyelse。\'

`Oh，thatwillbeallright，Mrs。Herron。Ithinkwe\'llmanagetogetagoodeffect，\'Lenarepliedblandly。

Ithoughthermannerwithhercustomersverygood，andwonderedwhereshehadlearnedsuchself-possession。

Sometimesaftermymorningclasseswereover，IusedtoencounterLenadowntown，inhervelvetsuitandalittleblackhat，withaveiltiedsmoothlyoverherface，lookingasfreshasthespringmorning。

Maybeshewouldbecarryinghomeabunchofjonquilsorahyacinthplant。

Whenwepassedacandystoreherfootstepswouldhesitateandlinger。

`Don\'tletmegoin，\'shewouldmurmur。`Getmebyifyoucan。\'

Shewasveryfondofsweets，andwasafraidofgrowingtooplump。

WehaddelightfulSundaybreakfaststogetheratLena\'s。Atthebackofherlongwork-roomwasabay-window，largeenoughtoholdabox-couchandareading-table。Webreakfastedinthisrecess，afterdrawingthecurtainsthatshutoutthelongroom，withcutting-tablesandwirewomenandsheet-drapedgarmentsonthewalls。

Thesunlightpouredin，makingeverythingonthetableshineandglitterandtheflameofthealcohollampdisappearaltogether。

Lena\'scurlyblackwater-spaniel，Prince，breakfastedwithus。

HesatbesideheronthecouchandbehavedverywelluntilthePolishviolin-teacheracrossthehallbegantopractise，whenPrincewouldgrowlandsnifftheairwithdisgust。

Lena\'slandlord，oldColonelRaleigh，hadgivenherthedog，andatfirstshewasnotatallpleased。Shehadspenttoomuchofherlifetakingcareofanimalstohavemuchsentimentaboutthem。

ButPrincewasaknowinglittlebeast，andshegrewfondofhim。

AfterbreakfastImadehimdohislessons；playdeaddog，shakehands，standuplikeasoldier。Weusedtoputmycadetcaponhishead——Ihadtotakemilitarydrillattheuniversity——

andgivehimayard-measuretoholdwithhisfrontleg。

Hisgravitymadeuslaughimmoderately。

Lena\'stalkalwaysamusedme。Antoniahadnevertalkedlikethepeopleabouther。EvenaftershelearnedtospeakEnglishreadily，therewasalwayssomethingimpulsiveandforeigninherspeech。ButLenahadpickedupalltheconventionalexpressionssheheardatMrs。Thomas\'sdressmakingshop。

Thoseformalphrases，theveryflowerofsmall-townproprieties，andtheflatcommonplaces，nearlyallhypocriticalintheirorigin，becameveryfunny，veryengaging，whentheywereutteredinLena\'ssoftvoice，withhercaressingintonationandarchnaivete。

NothingcouldbemoredivertingthantohearLena，whowasalmostascandidasNature，callalega`limb\'orahousea`home。\'

Weusedtolingeralongwhileoverourcoffeeinthatsunnycorner。

Lenawasneversoprettyasinthemorning；shewakenedfreshwiththeworldeveryday，andhereyeshadadeepercolourthen，liketheblueflowersthatareneversoblueaswhentheyfirstopen。

IcouldsitidleallthroughaSundaymorningandlookather。

OleBenson\'sbehaviourwasnownomysterytome。

`TherewasneveranyharminOle，\'shesaidonce。

`Peopleneedn\'thavetroubledthemselves。Hejustlikedtocomeoverandsitonthedrawsideandforgetabouthisbadluck。

Ilikedtohavehim。Anycompany\'swelcomewhenyou\'reoffwithcattleallthetime。\'

`Butwasn\'thealwaysglum？\'Iasked。`Peoplesaidhenevertalkedatall。\'

`Surehetalked，inNorwegian。He\'dbeenasailoronanEnglishboatandhadseenlotsofqueerplaces。Hehadwonderfultattoos。

Weusedtositandlookatthemforhours；therewasn\'tmuchtolookatoutthere。Hewaslikeapicturebook。

Hehadashipandastrawberrygirlononearm，andontheotheragirlstandingbeforealittlehouse，withafenceandgateandall，waitingforhersweetheart。

Fartheruphisarm，hersailorhadcomebackandwaskissingher。

“TheSailor\'sReturn，“hecalledit。\'

IadmitteditwasnowonderOlelikedtolookataprettygirlonceinawhile，withsuchafrightathome。

`Youknow，\'Lenasaidconfidentially，`hemarriedMarybecausehethoughtshewasstrong-mindedandwouldkeephimstraight。Henevercouldkeepstraightonshore。

ThelasttimehelandedinLiverpoolhe\'dbeenoutonatwoyears\'voyage。Hewaspaidoffonemorning，andbythenexthehadn\'tacentleft，andhiswatchandcompassweregone。

He\'dgotwithsomewomen，andthey\'dtakeneverything。

Heworkedhiswaytothiscountryonalittlepassengerboat。

Marywasastewardess，andshetriedtoconverthimonthewayover。

Hethoughtshewasjusttheonetokeephimsteady。

PoorOle！Heusedtobringmecandyfromtown，hiddeninhisfeed-bag。Hecouldn\'trefuseanythingtoagirl。

He\'dhavegivenawayhistattooslongago，ifhecould。

He\'soneofthepeopleI\'msorriestfor。\'

IfIhappenedtospendaneveningwithLenaandstayedlate，thePolishviolin-teacheracrossthehallusedtocomeoutandwatchmedescendthestairs，mutteringsothreateninglythatitwouldhavebeeneasytofallintoaquarrelwithhim。

Lenahadtoldhimoncethatshelikedtohearhimpractise，sohealwayslefthisdooropen，andwatchedwhocameandwent。

TherewasacoolnessbetweenthePoleandLena\'slandlordonheraccount。

OldColonelRaleighhadcometoLincolnfromKentuckyandinvestedaninheritedfortuneinrealestate，atthetimeofinflatedprices。

NowhesatdayafterdayinhisofficeintheRaleighBlock，tryingtodiscoverwherehismoneyhadgoneandhowhecouldgetsomeofitback。

Hewasawidower，andfoundverylittlecongenialcompanionshipinthiscasualWesterncity。Lena\'sgoodlooksandgentlemannersappealedtohim。

HesaidhervoiceremindedhimofSouthernvoices，andhefoundasmanyopportunitiesofhearingitaspossible。Hepaintedandpaperedherroomsforherthatspring，andputinaporcelainbathtubinplaceofthetinonethathadsatisfiedtheformertenant。Whiletheserepairswerebeingmade，theoldgentlemanoftendroppedintoconsultLena\'spreferences。

ShetoldmewithamusementhowOrdinsky，thePole，hadpresentedhimselfatherdooroneevening，andsaidthatifthelandlordwasannoyingherbyhisattentions，hewouldpromptlyputastoptoit。

`Idon\'texactlyknowwhattodoabouthim，\'shesaid，shakingherhead，`he\'ssosortofwildallthetime。

Iwouldn\'tliketohavehimsayanythingroughtothatniceoldman。

Thecolonelislong-winded，butthenIexpecthe\'slonesome。

Idon\'tthinkhecaresmuchforOrdinsky，either。HesaidoncethatifIhadanycomplaintstomakeofmyneighbours，Imustn\'thesitate。\'

OneSaturdayeveningwhenIwashavingsupperwithLena，weheardaknockatherparlourdoor，andtherestoodthePole，coatless，inadressshirtandcollar。Princedroppedonhispawsandbegantogrowllikeamastiff，whilethevisitorapologized，sayingthathecouldnotpossiblycomeinthusattired，buthebeggedLenatolendhimsomesafetypins。

`Oh，you\'llhavetocomein，Mr。Ordinsky，andletmeseewhat\'sthematter。\'

Sheclosedthedoorbehindhim。`Jim，won\'tyoumakePrincebehave？\'

IrappedPrinceonthenose，whileOrdinskyexplainedthathehadnothadhisdressclothesonforalongtime，andtonight，whenhewasgoingtoplayforaconcert，hiswaistcoathadsplitdowntheback。

Hethoughthecouldpinittogetheruntilhegotittoatailor。

Lenatookhimbytheelbowandturnedhimround。

Shelaughedwhenshesawthelonggapinthesatin。

`Youcouldneverpinthat，Mr。Ordinsky。You\'vekeptitfoldedtoolong，andthegoodsisallgonealongthecrease。

Takeitoff。Icanputanewpieceoflining-silkinthereforyouintenminutes。\'Shedisappearedintoherwork-roomwiththevest，leavingmetoconfrontthePole，whostoodagainstthedoorlikeawoodenfigure。Hefoldedhisarmsandglaredatmewithhisexcitable，slantingbrowneyes。

Hisheadwastheshapeofachocolatedrop，andwascoveredwithdry，straw-colouredhairthatfuzzedupabouthispointedcrown。

HehadneverdonemorethanmutteratmeasIpassedhim，andIwassurprisedwhenhenowaddressedme。`MissLingard，\'

hesaidhaughtily，`isayoungwomanforwhomIhavetheutmost，theutmostrespect。\'

`SohaveI，\'Isaidcoldly。

Hepaidnoheedtomyremark，butbegantodorapidfinger-exercisesonhisshirt-sleeves，ashestoodwithtightlyfoldedarms。

`Kindnessofheart，\'hewenton，staringattheceiling，`sentiment，arenotunderstoodinaplacelikethis。

Thenoblestqualitiesareridiculed。Grinningcollegeboys，ignorantandconceited，whatdotheyknowofdelicacy！\'

Icontrolledmyfeaturesandtriedtospeakseriously。

`Ifyoumeanme，Mr。Ordinsky，IhaveknownMissLingardalongtime，andIthinkIappreciateherkindness。Wecomefromthesametown，andwegrewuptogether。\'

Hisgazetravelledslowlydownfromtheceilingandrestedonme。

`AmItounderstandthatyouhavethisyoungwoman\'sinterestsatheart？

Thatyoudonotwishtocompromiseher？\'

`That\'sawordwedon\'tusemuchhere，Mr。Ordinsky。Agirlwhomakesherownlivingcanaskacollegeboytosupperwithoutbeingtalkedabout。

Wetakesomethingsforgranted。\'

`ThenIhavemisjudgedyou，andIaskyourpardon\'——hebowedgravely。

`MissLingard，\'hewenton，`isanabsolutelytrustfulheart。

Shehasnotlearnedthehardlessonsoflife。Asforyouandme，noblesseoblige\'——hewatchedmenarrowly。

Lenareturnedwiththevest。`Comeinandletuslookatyouasyougoout，Mr。Ordinsky。I\'veneverseenyouinyourdresssuit，\'

shesaidassheopenedthedoorforhim。

Afewmomentslaterhereappearedwithhisviolin-caseaheavymufflerabouthisneckandthickwoollenglovesonhisbonyhands。

Lenaspokeencouraginglytohim，andhewentoffwithsuchanimportantprofessionalairthatwefelltolaughingassoonaswehadshutthedoor。

`Poorfellow，\'Lenasaidindulgently，`hetakeseverythingsohard。\'

AfterthatOrdinskywasfriendlytome，andbehavedasifthereweresomedeepunderstandingbetweenus。Hewroteafuriousarticle，attackingthemusicaltasteofthetown，andaskedmetodohimagreatservicebytakingittotheeditorofthemorningpaper。

Iftheeditorrefusedtoprintit，IwastotellhimthathewouldbeanswerabletoOrdinsky`inperson。\'Hedeclaredthathewouldneverretractoneword，andthathewasquitepreparedtoloseallhispupils。

Inspiteofthefactthatnobodyevermentionedhisarticletohimafteritappeared——fulloftypographicalerrorswhichhethoughtintentional——

hegotacertainsatisfactionfrombelievingthatthecitizensofLincolnhadmeeklyacceptedtheepithet`coarsebarbarians。\'

`Youseehowitis，\'hesaidtome，`wherethereisnochivalry，thereisnoamour-propre。\'WhenImethimonhisroundsnow，Ithoughthecarriedhisheadmoredisdainfullythanever，andstrodeupthestepsoffrontporchesandrangdoorbellswithmoreassurance。

HetoldLenahewouldneverforgethowIhadstoodbyhimwhenhewas`underfire。\'

Allthistime，ofcourse，Iwasdrifting。Lenahadbrokenupmyseriousmood。Iwasn\'tinterestedinmyclasses。

IplayedwithLenaandPrince，IplayedwiththePole，Iwentbuggy-ridingwiththeoldcolonel，whohadtakenafancytomeandusedtotalktomeaboutLenaandthe`greatbeauties\'

hehadknowninhisyouth。WewereallthreeinlovewithLena。

BeforethefirstofJune，GastonClericwasofferedaninstructorshipatHarvardCollege，andacceptedit。

HesuggestedthatIshouldfollowhiminthefall，andcompletemycourseatHarvard。HehadfoundoutaboutLena——notfromme——

andhetalkedtomeseriously。

`Youwon\'tdoanythingherenow。Youshouldeitherquitschoolandgotowork，orchangeyourcollegeandbeginagaininearnest。

Youwon\'trecoveryourselfwhileyouareplayingaboutwiththishandsomeNorwegian。Yes，I\'veseenherwithyouatthetheatre。

She\'sverypretty，andperfectlyirresponsible，Ishouldjudge。\'

ClericwrotemygrandfatherthathewouldliketotakemeEastwithhim。

Tomyastonishment，grandfatherrepliedthatImightgoifIwished。

Iwasbothgladandsorryonthedaywhenthelettercame。

Istayedinmyroomalleveningandthoughtthingsover。

IeventriedtopersuademyselfthatIwasstandinginLena\'sway——

itissonecessarytobealittlenoble！——andthatifshehadnotmetoplaywith，shewouldprobablymarryandsecureherfuture。

ThenexteveningIwenttocallonLena。Ifoundherproppeduponthecouchinherbay-window，withherfootinabigslipper。

AnawkwardlittleRussiangirlwhomshehadtakenintoherwork-roomhaddroppedaflat-irononLena\'stoe。

OnthetablebesidehertherewasabasketofearlysummerflowerswhichthePolehadleftafterheheardoftheaccident。

HealwaysmanagedtoknowwhatwentoninLena\'sapartment。

Lenawastellingmesomeamusingpieceofgossipaboutoneofherclients，whenIinterruptedherandpickeduptheflowerbasket。

`Thisoldchapwillbeproposingtoyousomeday，Lena。\'

`Oh，hehas——often！\'shemurmured。

`What！Afteryou\'verefusedhim？\'

`Hedoesn\'tmindthat。Itseemstocheerhimtomentionthesubject。

Oldmenarelikethat，youknow。Itmakesthemfeelimportanttothinkthey\'reinlovewithsomebody。\'

`Thecolonelwouldmarryyouinaminute。Ihopeyouwon\'tmarrysomeoldfellow；notevenarichone。\'

Lenashiftedherpillowsandlookedupatmeinsurprise。

`Why，I\'mnotgoingtomarryanybody。Didn\'tyouknowthat？\'

`Nonsense，Lena。That\'swhatgirlssay，butyouknowbetter。

Everyhandsomegirllikeyoumarries，ofcourse。\'

Sheshookherhead。`Notme。\'

`Butwhynot？Whatmakesyousaythat？\'Ipersisted。

Lenalaughed。

`Well，it\'smainlybecauseIdon\'twantahusband。

Menareallrightforfriends，butassoonasyoumarrythemtheyturnintocrankyoldfathers，eventhewildones。

Theybegintotellyouwhat\'ssensibleandwhat\'sfoolish，andwantyoutostickathomeallthetime。IprefertobefoolishwhenIfeellikeit，andbeaccountabletonobody。\'

`Butyou\'llbelonesome。You\'llgettiredofthissortoflife，andyou\'llwantafamily。\'

`Notme。Iliketobelonesome。WhenIwenttoworkforMrs。ThomasIwasnineteenyearsold，andIhadneversleptanightinmylifewhenthereweren\'tthreeinthebed。

IneverhadaminutetomyselfexceptwhenIwasoffwiththecattle。\'

Usually，whenLenareferredtoherlifeinthecountryatall，shedismisseditwithasingleremark，humorousormildlycynical。

Buttonighthermindseemedtodwellonthoseearlyyears。

Shetoldmeshecouldn\'trememberatimewhenshewassolittlethatshewasn\'tluggingaheavybabyabout，helpingtowashforbabies，tryingtokeeptheirlittlechappedhandsandfacesclean。

Sherememberedhomeasaplacewheretherewerealwaystoomanychildren，acrossmanandworkpilinguparoundasickwoman。

`Itwasn\'tmother\'sfault。Shewouldhavemadeuscomfortableifshecould。

Butthatwasnolifeforagirl！AfterIbegantoherdandmilk，Icouldnevergetthesmellofthecattleoffme。ThefewunderclothesIhadI

keptinacracker-box。OnSaturdaynights，aftereverybodywasinbed，thenIcouldtakeabathifIwasn\'ttootired。Icouldmaketwotripstothewindmilltocarrywater，andheatitinthewash-boileronthestove。

Whilethewaterwasheating，Icouldbringinawashtuboutofthecave，andtakemybathinthekitchen。ThenIcouldputonacleannight-gownandgetintobedwithtwoothers，wholikelyhadn\'thadabathunlessI\'dgivenittothem。Youcan\'ttellmeanythingaboutfamilylife。

I\'vehadplentytolastme。\'

`Butit\'snotalllikethat，\'Iobjected。

`Nearenough。It\'sallbeingundersomebody\'sthumb。

What\'sonyourmind，Jim？AreyouafraidI\'llwantyoutomarrymesomeday？\'

ThenItoldherIwasgoingaway。

`Whatmakesyouwanttogoaway，Jim？Haven\'tIbeennicetoyou？\'

`You\'vebeenjustawfullygoodtome，Lena，\'Iblurted。

`Idon\'tthinkaboutmuchelse。InevershallthinkaboutmuchelsewhileI\'mwithyou。I\'llneversettledownandgrindifIstayhere。

Youknowthat。\'

Idroppeddownbesideherandsatlookingatthefloor。

Iseemedtohaveforgottenallmyreasonableexplanations。

Lenadrewclosetome，andthelittlehesitationinhervoicethathadhurtmewasnottherewhenshespokeagain。

`Ioughtn\'ttohavebegunit，oughtI？\'shemurmured。

`Ioughtn\'ttohavegonetoseeyouthatfirsttime。ButIdidwantto。IguessI\'vealwaysbeenalittlefoolishaboutyou。

Idon\'tknowwhatfirstputitintomyhead，unlessitwasAntonia，alwaystellingmeImustn\'tbeuptoanyofmynonsensewithyou。

Iletyoualoneforalongwhile，though，didn\'tI？\'

Shewasasweetcreaturetothosesheloved，thatLenaLingard！

Atlastshesentmeawaywithhersoft，slow，renunciatorykiss。

`Youaren\'tsorryIcametoseeyouthattime？\'shewhispered。

`Itseemedsonatural。IusedtothinkI\'dliketobeyourfirstsweetheart。

Youweresuchafunnykid！\'

Shealwayskissedoneasifsheweresadlyandwiselysendingoneawayforever。

Wesaidmanygood-byesbeforeIleftLincoln，butshenevertriedtohindermeorholdmeback。`Youaregoing，butyouhaven\'tgoneyet，haveyou？\'

sheusedtosay。

MyLincolnchapterclosedabruptly。Iwenthometomygrandparentsforafewweeks，andafterwardvisitedmyrelativesinVirginiauntilIjoinedClericinBoston。

Iwasthennineteenyearsold。

EndofBookIII

BOOKIVThePioneerWoman\'sStoryI

TWOYEARSAFTERIleftLincoln，IcompletedmyacademiccourseatHarvard。

BeforeIenteredtheLawSchoolIwenthomeforthesummervacation。

Onthenightofmyarrival，Mrs。HarlingandFrancesandSallycameovertogreetme。Everythingseemedjustasitusedtobe。

Mygrandparentslookedverylittleolder。FrancesHarlingwasmarriednow，andsheandherhusbandmanagedtheHarlinginterestsinBlackHawk。

Whenwegatheredingrandmother\'sparlour，IcouldhardlybelievethatI

hadbeenawayatall。Onesubject，however，weavoidedallevening。

WhenIwaswalkinghomewithFrances，afterwehadleftMrs。Harlingathergate，shesaidsimply，`Youknow，ofcourse，aboutpoorAntonia。\'

PoorAntonia！Everyonewouldbesayingthatnow，Ithoughtbitterly。

IrepliedthatgrandmotherhadwrittenmehowAntoniawentawaytomarryLarryDonovanatsomeplacewherehewasworking；

thathehaddesertedher，andthattherewasnowababy。

ThiswasallIknew。

`Henevermarriedher，\'Francessaid。`Ihaven\'tseenhersinceshecameback。Shelivesathome，onthefarm，andalmostnevercomestotown。Shebroughtthebabyintoshowittomamaonce。

I\'mafraidshe\'ssettleddowntobeAmbrosch\'sdrudgeforgood。\'

ItriedtoshutAntoniaoutofmymind。Iwasbitterlydisappointedinher。Icouldnotforgiveherforbecominganobjectofpity，whileLenaLingard，forwhompeoplehadalwaysforetoldtrouble，wasnowtheleadingdressmakerofLincoln，muchrespectedinBlackHawk。

Lenagaveherheartawaywhenshefeltlikeit，butshekeptherheadforherbusinessandhadgotonintheworld。

JustthenitwasthefashiontospeakindulgentlyofLenaandseverelyofTinySoderball，whohadquietlygoneWesttotryherfortunetheyearbefore。

ABlackHawkboy，justbackfromSeattle，broughtthenewsthatTinyhadnotgonetothecoastonaventure，asshehadallowedpeopletothink，butwithverydefiniteplans。OneoftherovingpromotersthatusedtostopatMrs。Gardener\'shotelownedidlepropertyalongthewaterfrontinSeattle，andhehadofferedtosetTinyupinbusinessinoneofhisemptybuildings。

Shewasnowconductingasailors\'lodging-house。This，everyonesaid，wouldbetheendofTiny。Evenifshehadbegunbyrunningadecentplace，shecouldn\'tkeepitup；allsailors\'boarding-houseswerealike。

WhenIthoughtaboutit，IdiscoveredthatIhadneverknownTinyaswellasI

knewtheothergirls。Irememberedhertrippingbrisklyaboutthedining-roomonherhighheels，carryingabigtrayfulofdishes，glancingratherpertlyatthesprucetravellingmen，andcontemptuouslyatthescrubbyones——

whoweresoafraidofherthattheydidn\'tdaretoaskfortwokindsofpie。

Nowitoccurredtomethatperhapsthesailors，too，mightbeafraidofTiny。

Howastonishedweshouldhavebeen，aswesattalkingaboutheronFrancesHarling\'sfrontporch，ifwecouldhaveknownwhatherfuturewasreallytobe！OfallthegirlsandboyswhogrewuptogetherinBlackHawk，TinySoderballwastoleadthemostadventurouslifeandtoachievethemostsolidworldlysuccess。

ThisiswhatactuallyhappenedtoTiny:Whileshewasrunningherlodging-houseinSeattle，goldwasdiscoveredinAlaska。

MinersandsailorscamebackfromtheNorthwithwonderfulstoriesandpouchesofgold。Tinysawitandweigheditinherhands。

Thatdaring，whichnobodyhadeversuspectedinher，awoke。

ShesoldherbusinessandsetoutforCircleCity，incompanywithacarpenterandhiswifewhomshehadpersuadedtogoalongwithher。

TheyreachedSkaguayinasnowstorm，wentindog-sledgesovertheChilkootPass，andshottheYukoninflatboats。

TheyreachedCircleCityontheverydaywhensomeSiwashIndianscameintothesettlementwiththereportthattherehadbeenarichgoldstrikefartheruptheriver，onacertainKlondikeCreek。

TwodayslaterTinyandherfriends，andnearlyeveryoneelseinCircleCity，startedfortheKlondikefieldsonthelaststeamerthatwentuptheYukonbeforeitfrozeforthewinter。

ThatboatloadofpeoplefoundedDawsonCity。Withinafewweekstherewerefifteenhundredhomelessmenincamp。

Tinyandthecarpenter\'swifebegantocookforthem，inatent。

Theminersgaveherabuildinglot，andthecarpenterputupaloghotelforher。Thereshesometimesfedahundredandfiftymenaday。

Minerscameinonsnowshoesfromtheirplacerclaimstwentymilesawaytobuyfreshbreadfromher，andpaidforitingold。

ThatwinterTinykeptinherhotelaSwedewhoselegshadbeenfrozenonenightinastormwhenhewastryingtofindhiswaybacktohiscabin。Thepoorfellowthoughtitgreatgoodfortunetobecaredforbyawoman，andawomanwhospokehisowntongue。Whenhewastoldthathisfeetmustbeamputated，hesaidhehopedhewouldnotgetwell；

whatcouldaworking-mandointhishardworldwithoutfeet？

Hedid，infact，diefromtheoperation，butnotbeforehehaddeededTinySoderballhisclaimonHunkerCreek。

Tinysoldherhotel，investedhalfhermoneyinDawsonbuildinglots，andwiththerestshedevelopedherclaim。

Shewentoffintothewildsandlivedontheclaim。

Sheboughtotherclaimsfromdiscouragedminers，tradedorsoldthemonpercentages。

AfternearlytenyearsintheKlondike，Tinyreturned，withaconsiderablefortune，toliveinSanFrancisco。ImetherinSaltLakeCityin1908。

Shewasathin，hard-facedwoman，verywell-dressed，veryreservedinmanner。

Curiouslyenough，sheremindedmeofMrs。Gardener，forwhomshehadworkedinBlackHawksolongago。Shetoldmeaboutsomeofthedesperatechancesshehadtakeninthegoldcountry，butthethrillofthemwasquitegone。

Shesaidfranklythatnothinginterestedhermuchnowbutmakingmoney。

TheonlytwohumanbeingsofwhomshespokewithanyfeelingweretheSwede，Johnson，whohadgivenherhisclaim，andLenaLingard。

ShehadpersuadedLenatocometoSanFranciscoandgointobusinessthere。

`Lincolnwasneveranyplaceforher，\'Tinyremarked。

`InatownofthatsizeLenawouldalwaysbegossipedabout。

Frisco\'stherightfieldforher。Shehasafineclassoftrade。Oh，she\'sjustthesameasshealwayswas！

She\'scareless，butshe\'slevel-headed。She\'stheonlypersonIknowwhonevergetsanyolder。It\'sfineformetohaveherthere；somebodywhoenjoysthingslikethat。

Shekeepsaneyeonmeandwon\'tletmebeshabby。

WhenshethinksIneedanewdress，shemakesitandsendsithomewithabillthat\'slongenough，Icantellyou！\'

Tinylimpedslightlywhenshewalked。TheclaimonHunkerCreektooktollfromitspossessors。Tinyhadbeencaughtinasuddenturnofweather，likepoorJohnson。ShelostthreetoesfromoneofthoseprettylittlefeetthatusedtotripaboutBlackHawkinpointedslippersandstripedstockings。

Tinymentionedthismutilationquitecasually——didn\'tseemsensitiveaboutit。Shewassatisfiedwithhersuccess，butnotelated。

Shewaslikesomeoneinwhomthefacultyofbecominginterestediswornout。

II

SOONAFTERIGOThomethatsummer，Ipersuadedmygrandparentstohavetheirphotographstaken，andonemorningIwentintothephotographer\'sshoptoarrangeforsittings。

WhileIwaswaitingforhimtocomeoutofhisdeveloping-room，Iwalkedabouttryingtorecognizethelikenessesonhiswalls:

girlsinCommencementdresses，countrybridesandgroomsholdinghands，familygroupsofthreegenerations。

Inoticed，inaheavyframe，oneofthosedepressing`crayonenlargements\'oftenseeninfarm-houseparlours，thesubjectbeingaround-eyedbabyinshortdresses。

Thephotographercameoutandgaveaconstrained，apologeticlaugh。

`That\'sTonyShimerda\'sbaby。Yourememberher；sheusedtobetheHarlings\'Tony。Toobad！Sheseemsproudofthebaby，though；wouldn\'theartoacheapframeforthepicture。

IexpectherbrotherwillbeinforitSaturday。\'

IwentawayfeelingthatImustseeAntoniaagain。

Anothergirlwouldhavekeptherbabyoutofsight，butTony，ofcourse，musthaveitspictureonexhibitionatthetownphotographer\'s，inagreatgiltframe。Howlikeher！

Icouldforgiveher，Itoldmyself，ifshehadn\'tthrownherselfawayonsuchacheapsortoffellow。

LarryDonovanwasapassengerconductor，oneofthosetrain-crewaristocratswhoarealwaysafraidthatsomeonemayaskthemtoputupacar-window，andwho，ifrequestedtoperformsuchamenialservice，silentlypointtothebuttonthatcallstheporter。

Larryworethisairofofficialaloofnessevenonthestreet，wheretherewerenocar-windowstocompromisehisdignity。

Attheendofhisrunhesteppedindifferentlyfromthetrainalongwiththepassengers，hisstreethatonhisheadandhisconductor\'scapinanalligator-skinbag，wentdirectlyintothestationandchangedhisclothes。

Itwasamatteroftheutmostimportancetohimnevertobeseeninhisbluetrousersawayfromhistrain。

Hewasusuallycoldanddistantwithmen，butwithallwomenhehadasilent，gravefamiliarity，aspecialhandshake，accompaniedbyasignificant，deliberatelook。Hetookwomen，marriedorsingle，intohisconfidence；walkedthemupanddowninthemoonlight，tellingthemwhatamistakehehadmadebynotenteringtheofficebranchoftheservice，andhowmuchbetterfittedhewastofillthepostofGeneralPassengerAgentinDenverthantherough-shodmanwhothenborethattitle。

HisunappreciatedworthwasthetendersecretLarrysharedwithhissweethearts，andhewasalwaysabletomakesomefoolishheartacheoverit。

AsIdrewnearhomethatmorning，IsawMrs。Harlingoutinheryard，diggingroundhermountain-ashtree。

Itwasadrysummer，andshehadnownoboytohelpher。

Charleywasoffinhisbattleship，cruisingsomewhereontheCaribbeansea。IturnedinatthegateitwaswithafeelingofpleasurethatIopenedandshutthatgateinthosedays；

Ilikedthefeelofitundermyhand。ItookthespadeawayfromMrs。Harling，andwhileIloosenedtheeartharoundthetree，shesatdownonthestepsandtalkedabouttheoriolefamilythathadanestinitsbranches。

`Mrs。Harling，\'Isaidpresently，`IwishIcouldfindoutexactlyhowAntonia\'smarriagefellthrough。\'

`Whydon\'tyougooutandseeyourgrandfather\'stenant，theWidowSteavens？Sheknowsmoreaboutitthananybodyelse。

ShehelpedAntoniagetreadytobemarried，andshewastherewhenAntoniacameback。Shetookcareofherwhenthebabywasborn。

Shecouldtellyoueverything。Besides，theWidowSteavensisagoodtalker，andshehasaremarkablememory。\'

III

ONTHEFIRSTORseconddayofAugustIgotahorseandcartandsetoutforthehighcountry，tovisittheWidowSteavens。

Thewheatharvestwasover，andhereandtherealongthehorizonI

couldseeblackpuffsofsmokefromthesteamthreshing-machines。

Theoldpasturelandwasnowbeingbrokenupintowheatfieldsandcornfields，theredgrasswasdisappearing，andthewholefaceofthecountrywaschanging。Therewerewoodenhouseswheretheoldsoddwellingsusedtobe，andlittleorchards，andbigredbarns；allthismeanthappychildren，contentedwomen，andmenwhosawtheirlivescomingtoafortunateissue。

Thewindyspringsandtheblazingsummers，oneafteranother，hadenrichedandmellowedthatflattableland；allthehumaneffortthathadgoneintoitwascomingbackinlong，sweepinglinesoffertility。Thechangesseemedbeautifulandharmonioustome；

itwaslikewatchingthegrowthofagreatmanorofagreatidea。

Irecognizedeverytreeandsandbankandruggeddraw。

IfoundthatIrememberedtheconformationofthelandasoneremembersthemodellingofhumanfaces。

WhenIdrewuptoouroldwindmill，theWidowSteavenscameouttomeetme。

ShewasbrownasanIndianwoman，tall，andverystrong。WhenIwaslittle，hermassiveheadhadalwaysseemedtomelikeaRomansenator\'s。ItoldheratoncewhyIhadcome。

`You\'llstaythenightwithus，Jimmy？I\'lltalktoyouaftersupper。Icantakemoreinterestwhenmyworkisoffmymind。

You\'venoprejudiceagainsthotbiscuitforsupper？

Somehave，thesedays。\'

WhileIwasputtingmyhorseaway，Iheardaroostersquawking。

Ilookedatmywatchandsighed；itwasthreeo\'clock，andIknewthatImusteathimatsix。

AftersupperMrs。SteavensandIwentupstairstotheoldsitting-room，whilehergrave，silentbrotherremainedinthebasementtoreadhisfarmpapers。Allthewindowswereopen。Thewhitesummermoonwasshiningoutside，thewindmillwaspumpinglazilyinthelightbreeze。

Myhostessputthelamponastandinthecorner，andturneditlowbecauseoftheheat。Shesatdowninherfavouriterocking-chairandsettledalittlestoolcomfortablyunderhertiredfeet。

`I\'mtroubledwithcalluses，Jim；gettingold，\'shesighedcheerfully。

Shecrossedherhandsinherlapandsatasifshewereatameetingofsomekind。

`Now，it\'saboutthatdearAntoniayouwanttoknow？Well，you\'vecometotherightperson。I\'vewatchedherlikeshe\'dbeenmyowndaughter。

`Whenshecamehometodohersewingthatsummerbeforeshewastobemarried，shewasoverhereabouteveryday。

They\'veneverhadasewing-machineattheShimerdas\'，andshemadeallherthingshere。Itaughtherhemstitching，andIhelpedhertocutandfit。Sheusedtositthereatthatmachinebythewindow，pedallingthelifeoutofit——

shewassostrong——andalwayssingingthemqueerBohemiansongs，likeshewasthehappiestthingintheworld。

`“Antonia，“Iusedtosay，“don\'trunthatmachinesofast。Youwon\'thastenthedaynonethatway。“

`Thenshe\'dlaughandslowdownforalittle，butshe\'dsoonforgetandbegintopedalandsingagain。Ineversawagirlworkhardertogotohousekeepingrightandwell-prepared。Lovelytable-linentheHarlingshadgivenher，andLenaLingardhadsenthernicethingsfromLincoln。

Wehemstitchedallthetableclothsandpillow-cases，andsomeofthesheets。

OldMrs。Shimerdaknityardsandyardsoflaceforherunderclothes。

Tonytoldmejusthowshemeanttohaveeverythinginherhouse。

She\'devenboughtsilverspoonsandforks，andkepttheminhertrunk。

Shewasalwayscoaxingbrothertogotothepost-office。Heryoungmandidwriteherrealoften，fromthedifferenttownsalonghisrun。

`Thefirstthingthattroubledherwaswhenhewrotethathisrunhadbeenchanged，andtheywouldlikelyhavetoliveinDenver。“I\'macountrygirl，“shesaid，“andI

doubtifI\'llbeabletomanagesowellforhiminacity。

Iwascountingonkeepingchickens，andmaybeacow。“

Shesooncheeredup，though。

`Atlastshegotthelettertellingherwhentocome。

Shewasshakenbyit；shebrokethesealandreaditinthisroom。

Isuspectedthenthatshe\'dbeguntogetfaint-hearted，waiting；

thoughshe\'dneverletmeseeit。

`Thentherewasagreattimeofpacking。ItwasinMarch，ifIrememberrightly，andaterriblemuddy，rawspell，withtheroadsbadforhaulingherthingstotown。

Andhereletmesay，Ambroschdidtherightthing。

HewenttoBlackHawkandboughtherasetofplatedsilverinapurplevelvetbox，goodenoughforherstation。

Hegaveherthreehundreddollarsinmoney；Isawthecheque。

He\'dcollectedherwagesallthosefirstyearssheworkedout，anditwasbutright。Ishookhimbythehandinthisroom。

“You\'rebehavinglikeaman，Ambrosch，“Isaid，“andI\'mgladtoseeit，son。“

`\'Twasacold，rawdayhedroveherandherthreetrunksintoBlackHawktotakethenighttrainforDenver——theboxeshadbeenshippedbefore。

Hestoppedthewagonhere，andsheranintotellmegood-bye。Shethrewherarmsaroundmeandkissedme，andthankedmeforallI\'ddoneforher。

Shewassohappyshewascryingandlaughingatthesametime，andherredcheekswasallwetwithrain。

`“You\'resurelyhandsomeenoughforanyman，“Isaid，lookingherover。

`Shelaughedkindofflightylike，andwhispered，“Good-bye，dearhouse！“

andthenranouttothewagon。Iexpectshemeantthatforyouandyourgrandmother，asmuchasforme，soI\'mparticulartotellyou。

Thishousehadalwaysbeenarefugetoher。

`Well，inafewdayswehadalettersayingshegottoDenversafe，andhewastheretomeether。Theyweretobemarriedinafewdays。

Hewastryingtogethispromotionbeforehemarried，shesaid。

Ididn\'tlikethat，butIsaidnothing。ThenextweekYulkagotapostalcard，sayingshewas“wellandhappy。“Afterthatweheardnothing。

Amonthwentby，andoldMrs。Shimerdabegantogetfretful。

AmbroschwasassulkywithmeasifI\'dpickedoutthemanandarrangedthematch。

`OnenightbrotherWilliamcameinandsaidthatonhiswaybackfromthefieldshehadpassedaliveryteamfromtown，drivingfastoutthewestroad。

Therewasatrunkonthefrontseatwiththedriver，andanotherbehind。

Inthebackseattherewasawomanallbundledup；butforallherveils，hethought`twasAntoniaShimerda，orAntoniaDonovan，ashernameoughtnowtobe。

`ThenextmorningIgotbrothertodrivemeover。Icanwalkstill，butmyfeetain\'twhattheyusedtobe，andItrytosavemyself。

ThelinesoutsidetheShimerdas\'housewasfullofwashing，thoughitwasthemiddleoftheweek。Aswegotnearer，Isawasightthatmademyheartsink——allthoseunderclotheswe\'dputsomuchworkon，outthereswinginginthewind。

Yulkacamebringingadishpanfulofwrungclothes，butshedartedbackintothehouselikeshewasloathtoseeus。WhenIwentin，Antoniawasstandingoverthetubs，justfinishingupabigwashing。

Mrs。Shimerdawasgoingaboutherwork，talkingandscoldingtoherself。

Shedidn\'tsomuchasraisehereyes。Tonywipedherhandonherapronandhelditouttome，lookingatmesteadybutmournful。

WhenItookherinmyarmsshedrewaway。“Don\'t，Mrs。Steavens，“

shesays，“you\'llmakemecry，andIdon\'twantto。“

`Iwhisperedandaskedhertocomeout-of-doorswithme。

Iknewshecouldn\'ttalkfreebeforehermother。Shewentoutwithme，bareheaded，andwewalkeduptowardthegarden。

`“I\'mnotmarried，Mrs。Steavens，“shesaystomeveryquietandnatural-like，“andIoughttobe。“

`“Oh，mychild，“saysI，“what\'shappenedtoyou？

Don\'tbeafraidtotellme！“

`Shesatdownonthedrawside，outofsightofthehouse。

“He\'srunawayfromme，“shesaid。“Idon\'tknowifheevermeanttomarryme。“

`“Youmeanhe\'sthrownuphisjobandquitthecountry？“saysI。

`“Hedidn\'thaveanyjob。He\'dbeenfired；blacklistedforknockingdownfares。Ididn\'tknow。Ithoughthehadn\'tbeentreatedright。

HewassickwhenIgotthere。He\'djustcomeoutofthehospital。

Helivedwithmetillmymoneygaveout，andafterwardIfoundhehadn\'treallybeenhuntingworkatall。Thenhejustdidn\'tcomeback。

Onenicefellowatthestationtoldme，whenIkeptgoingtolookforhim，togiveitup。HesaidhewasafraidLarry\'dgonebadandwouldn\'tcomebackanymore。Iguesshe\'sgonetoOldMexico。Theconductorsgetrichdownthere，collectinghalf-faresoffthenativesandrobbingthecompany。

Hewasalwaystalkingaboutfellowswhohadgotaheadthatway。“

`Iaskedher，ofcourse，whyshedidn\'tinsistonacivilmarriageatonce——

thatwouldhavegivenhersomeholdonhim。Sheleanedherheadonherhands，poorchild，andsaid，“Ijustdon\'tknow，Mrs。Steavens。

Iguessmypatiencewasworeout，waitingsolong。IthoughtifhesawhowwellIcoulddoforhim，he\'dwanttostaywithme。“

`Jimmy，Isatrightdownonthatbankbesideherandmadelament。

Icriedlikeayoungthing。Icouldn\'thelpit。

Iwasjustaboutheart-broke。ItwasoneofthemlovelywarmMaydays，andthewindwasblowingandthecoltsjumpingaroundinthepastures；butIfeltbowedwithdespair。

MyAntonia，thathadsomuchgoodinher，hadcomehomedisgraced。

AndthatLenaLingard，thatwasalwaysabadone，saywhatyouwill，hadturnedoutsowell，andwascominghomehereeverysummerinhersilksandhersatins，anddoingsomuchforhermother。

Igivecreditwherecreditisdue，butyouknowwellenough，JimBurden，thereisagreatdifferenceintheprinciplesofthosetwogirls。Andhereitwasthegoodonethathadcometogrief！

Iwaspoorcomforttoher。Imarvelledathercalm。

Aswewentbacktothehouse，shestoppedtofeelofherclothestoseeiftheywasdryingwell，andseemedtotakeprideintheirwhiteness——shesaidshe\'dbeenlivinginabrickblock，whereshedidn\'thaveproperconveniencestowashthem。

`ThenexttimeIsawAntonia，shewasoutinthefieldsploughingcorn。

Allthatspringandsummershedidtheworkofamanonthefarm；itseemedtobeanunderstoodthing。Ambroschdidn\'tgetanyotherhandtohelphim。

PoorMarekhadgotviolentandbeensentawaytoaninstitutionagoodwhileback。WeneverevensawanyofTony\'sprettydresses。Shedidn\'ttakethemoutofhertrunks。Shewasquietandsteady。Folksrespectedherindustryandtriedtotreatherasifnothinghadhappened。

Theytalked，tobesure；butnotliketheywouldifshe\'dputonairs。

Shewassocrushedandquietthatnobodyseemedtowanttohumbleher。

Sheneverwentanywhere。Allthatsummersheneveroncecametoseeme。

AtfirstIwashurt，butIgottofeelthatitwasbecausethishouseremindedheroftoomuch。IwentovertherewhenIcould，butthetimeswhenshewasinfromthefieldswerethetimeswhenIwasbusiesthere。

Shetalkedaboutthegrainandtheweatherasifshe\'dneverhadanotherinterest，andifIwentoveratnightshealwayslookeddeadweary。

Shewasafflictedwithtoothache；onetoothafteranotherulcerated，andshewentaboutwithherfaceswollenhalfthetime。Shewouldn\'tgotoBlackHawktoadentistforfearofmeetingpeoplesheknew。

Ambroschhadgotoverhisgoodspelllongago，andwasalwayssurly。

OnceItoldhimheoughtnottoletAntoniaworksohardandpullherselfdown。Hesaid，“Ifyouputthatinherhead，youbetterstayhome。“

AndafterthatIdid。

`Antoniaworkedonthroughharvestandthreshing，thoughshewastoomodesttogooutthreshingfortheneighbours，likewhenshewasyoungandfree。

Ididn\'tseemuchofheruntillatethatfallwhenshebeguntoherdAmbrosch\'scattleintheopengroundnorthofhere，uptowardthebigdog-town。Sometimessheusedtobringthemoverthewesthill，there，andIwouldruntomeetherandwalknorthapiecewithher。

Shehadthirtycattleinherbunch；ithadbeendry，andthepasturewasshort，orshewouldn\'thavebroughtthemsofar。

`Itwasafineopenfall，andshelikedtobealone。

Whilethesteersgrazed，sheusedtositonthemgrassybanksalongthedrawsandsunherselfforhours。

SometimesIslippeduptovisitwithher，whenshehadn\'tgonetoofar。

`“ItdoesseemlikeIoughttomakelace，orknitlikeLenausedto，“shesaidoneday，“butifIstarttowork，Ilookaroundandforgettogoon。ItseemssuchalittlewhileagowhenJimBurdenandIwasplayingalloverthiscountry。

UphereIcanpickouttheveryplaceswheremyfatherusedtostand。

SometimesIfeellikeI\'mnotgoingtoliveverylong，soI\'mjustenjoyingeverydayofthisfall。“

`Afterthewinterbegunsheworeaman\'slongovercoatandboots，andaman\'sfelthatwithawidebrim。Iusedtowatchhercomingandgoing，andIcouldseethatherstepsweregettingheavier。OnedayinDecember，thesnowbegantofall。

LateintheafternoonIsawAntoniadrivinghercattlehomewardacrossthehill。Thesnowwasflyingroundherandshebenttofaceit，lookingmorelonesome-liketomethanusual。

“Dearyme，“Isaystomyself，“thegirl\'sstayedouttoolate。

It\'llbedarkbeforeshegetsthemcattleputintothecorral。“

Iseemedtosenseshe\'dbeenfeelingtoomiserabletogetupanddrivethem。

`Thatverynight，ithappened。Shegothercattlehome，turnedthemintothecorral，andwentintothehouse，intoherroombehindthekitchen，andshutthedoor。There，withoutcallingtoanybody，withoutagroan，shelaydownonthebedandboreherchild。

`IwasliftingsupperwhenoldMrs。Shimerdacamerunningdownthebasementstairs，outofbreathandscreeching:

`“Babycome，babycome！“shesays。“Ambroschmuchlikedevil！“

`BrotherWilliamissurelyapatientman。Hewasjustreadytositdowntoahotsupperafteralongdayinthefields。

Withoutawordheroseandwentdowntothebarnandhookeduphisteam。Hegotusoverthereasquickasitwashumanlypossible。

Iwentrightin，andbegantodoforAntonia；butshelaidtherewithhereyesshutandtooknoaccountofme。

Theoldwomangotatubfulofwarmwatertowashthebaby。

IoverlookedwhatshewasdoingandIsaidoutloud:

“Mrs。Shimerda，don\'tyouputthatstrongyellowsoapnearthatbaby。

You\'llblisteritslittleskin。“Iwasindignant。

`“Mrs。Steavens，“Antoniasaidfromthebed，“ifyou\'lllookinthetoptrayofmytrunk，you\'llseesomefinesoap。“

Thatwasthefirstwordshespoke。

`AfterI\'ddressedthebaby，ItookitouttoshowittoAmbrosch。

Hewasmutteringbehindthestoveandwouldn\'tlookatit。

`“You\'dbetterputitoutintherain-barrel，“hesays。

`“Now，seehere，Ambrosch，“saysI，“there\'salawinthisland，don\'tforgetthat。Istandhereawitnessthatthisbabyhascomeintotheworldsoundandstrong，andIintendtokeepaneyeonwhatbefallsit。“

IpridemyselfIcowedhim。

`WellIexpectyou\'renotmuchinterestedinbabies，butAntonia\'sgotonfine。Sheloveditfromthefirstasdearlyasifshe\'dhadaringonherfinger，andwasneverashamedofit。

It\'sayearandeightmonthsoldnow，andnobabywaseverbettercared-for。Antoniaisanatural-bornmother。

Iwishshecouldmarryandraiseafamily，butIdon\'tknowasthere\'smuchchancenow。\'

IsleptthatnightintheroomIusedtohavewhenIwasalittleboy，withthesummerwindblowinginatthewindows，bringingthesmelloftheripefields。Ilayawakeandwatchedthemoonlightshiningoverthebarnandthestacksandthepond，andthewindmillmakingitsolddarkshadowagainstthebluesky。