第6章

Whenshesighedsheexhaledaheavyperfumeofsachetpowder。

Todance`Home，SweetHome，\'withLenawaslikecominginwiththetide。

Shedancedeverydancelikeawaltz，anditwasalwaysthesamewaltz——

thewaltzofcominghometosomething，ofinevitable，fatedreturn。

Afterawhileonegotrestlessunderit，asonedoesundertheheatofasoft，sultrysummerday。

WhenyouspunoutintothefloorwithTony，youdidn\'treturntoanything。Yousetouteverytimeuponanewadventure。

Ilikedtoschottischewithher；shehadsomuchspringandvariety，andwasalwaysputtinginnewstepsandslides。

Shetaughtmetodanceagainstandaroundthehard-and-fastbeatofthemusic。If，insteadofgoingtotheendoftherailroad，oldMr。ShimerdahadstayedinNewYorkandpickedupalivingwithhisfiddle，howdifferentAntonia\'slifemighthavebeen！

AntoniaoftenwenttothedanceswithLarryDonovan，apassengerconductorwhowasakindofprofessionalladies\'man，aswesaid。

Irememberhowadmiringlyalltheboyslookedatherthenightshefirstworehervelveteendress，madelikeMrs。Gardener\'sblackvelvet。Shewaslovelytosee，withhereyesshining，andherlipsalwaysalittlepartedwhenshedanced。

Thatconstant，darkcolourinhercheeksneverchanged。

OneeveningwhenDonovanwasoutonhisrun，AntoniacametothehallwithNorwegianAnnaandheryoungman，andthatnightItookherhome。

WhenwewereintheCutters\'yard，shelteredbytheevergreens，Itoldhershemustkissmegoodnight。

`Why，sure，Jim。\'Amomentlatershedrewherfaceawayandwhisperedindignantly，`Why，Jim！Youknowyouain\'trighttokissmelikethat。

I\'lltellyourgrandmotheronyou！\'

`LenaLingardletsmekissher，\'Iretorted，`andI\'mnothalfasfondofherasIamofyou。\'

`Lenadoes？\'Tonygasped。`Ifshe\'suptoanyofhernonsensewithyou，I\'llscratchhereyesout！\'Shetookmyarmagainandwewalkedoutofthegateandupanddownthesidewalk。

`Now，don\'tyougoandbeafoollikesomeofthesetownboys。

You\'renotgoingtositaroundhereandwhittlestore-boxesandtellstoriesallyourlife。Youaregoingawaytoschoolandmakesomethingofyourself。I\'mjustawfulproudofyou。

Youwon\'tgoandgetmixedupwiththeSwedes，willyou？\'

`Idon\'tcareanythingaboutanyofthembutyou，\'Isaid。

`Andyou\'llalwaystreatmelikeakid，suppose。\'

Shelaughedandthrewherarmsaroundme。`IexpectIwill，butyou\'reakidI\'mawfulfondof，anyhow！Youcanlikemeallyouwantto，butifIseeyouhangingroundwithLenamuch，I\'llgotoyourgrandmother，assureasyourname\'sJimBurden！

Lena\'sallright，only——well，youknowyourselfshe\'ssoftthatway。

Shecan\'thelpit。It\'snaturaltoher。\'

Ifshewasproudofme，IwassoproudofherthatIcarriedmyheadhighasIemergedfromthedarkcedarsandshuttheCutters\'gatesoftlybehindme。Herwarm，sweetface，herkindarms，andthetrueheartinher；shewas，oh，shewasstillmyAntonia！Ilookedwithcontemptatthedark，silentlittlehousesaboutmeasIwalkedhome，andthoughtofthestupidyoungmenwhowereasleepinsomeofthem。

Iknewwheretherealwomenwere，thoughIwasonlyaboy；

andIwouldnotbeafraidofthem，either！

IhatedtoenterthestillhousewhenIwenthomefromthedances，anditwaslongbeforeIcouldgettosleep。

TowardmorningIusedtohavepleasantdreams:sometimesTonyandIwereoutinthecountry，slidingdownstraw-stacksasweusedtodo；climbinguptheyellowmountainsoverandover，andslippingdownthesmoothsidesintosoftpilesofchaff。

OnedreamIdreamedagreatmanytimes，anditwasalwaysthesame。

Iwasinaharvest-fieldfullofshocks，andIwaslyingagainstoneofthem。

LenaLingardcameacrossthestubblebarefoot，inashortskirt，withacurvedreaping-hookinherhand，andshewasflushedlikethedawn，withakindofluminousrosinessallabouther。Shesatdownbesideme，turnedtomewithasoftsighandsaid，`Nowtheyareallgone，andI

cankissyouasmuchasIlike。\'

IusedtowishIcouldhavethisflatteringdreamaboutAntonia，butIneverdid。

XIII

INOTICEDONEAFTERNOONthatgrandmotherhadbeencrying。

Herfeetseemedtodragasshemovedaboutthehouse，andI

gotupfromthetablewhereIwasstudyingandwenttoher，askingifshedidn\'tfeelwell，andifIcouldn\'thelpherwithherwork。

`No，thankyou，Jim。I\'mtroubled，butIguessI\'mwellenough。

Gettingalittlerustyinthebones，maybe，\'sheaddedbitterly。

Istoodhesitating。`Whatareyoufrettingabout，grandmother？

Hasgrandfatherlostanymoney？\'

`No，itain\'tmoney。Iwishitwas。ButI\'veheardthings。

Youmust\'a\'knownitwouldcomebacktomesometime。\'

Shedroppedintoachair，and，coveringherfacewithherapron，begantocry。`Jim，\'shesaid，`Iwasneveronethatclaimedoldfolkscouldbringuptheirgrandchildren。

Butitcameaboutso；therewasn\'tanyotherwayforyou，itseemedlike。\'

Iputmyarmsaroundher。Icouldn\'tbeartoseehercry。

`Whatisit，grandmother？IsittheFiremen\'sdances？\'

Shenodded。

`I\'msorryIsneakedofflikethat。Butthere\'snothingwrongaboutthedances，andIhaven\'tdoneanythingwrong。

Ilikeallthosecountrygirls，andIliketodancewiththem。

That\'sallthereistoit。\'

`Butitain\'trighttodeceiveus，son，anditbringsblameonus。

Peoplesayyouaregrowinguptobeabadboy，andthatain\'tjusttous。\'

`Idon\'tcarewhattheysayaboutme，butifithurtsyou，thatsettlesit。

Iwon\'tgototheFiremen\'sHallagain。\'

Ikeptmypromise，ofcourse，butIfoundthespringmonthsdullenough。

Isatathomewiththeoldpeopleintheeveningsnow，readingLatinthatwasnotinourhigh-schoolcourse。Ihadmadeupmymindtodoalotofcollegerequirementworkinthesummer，andtoenterthefreshmanclassattheuniversitywithoutconditionsinthefall。

Iwantedtogetawayassoonaspossible。

Disapprobationhurtme，Ifound——eventhatofpeoplewhomIdidnotadmire。

Asthespringcameon，Igrewmoreandmorelonely，andfellbackonthetelegrapherandthecigar-makerandhiscanariesforcompanionship。

IrememberItookamelancholypleasureinhangingaMay-basketforNinaHarlingthatspring。IboughttheflowersfromanoldGermanwomanwhoalwayshadmorewindowplantsthananyoneelse，andspentanafternoontrimmingalittleworkbasket。Whenduskcameon，andthenewmoonhunginthesky，IwentquietlytotheHarlings\'frontdoorwithmyoffering，rangthebell，andthenranawayaswasthecustom。

ThroughthewillowhedgeIcouldhearNina\'scriesofdelight，andIfeltcomforted。

Onthosewarm，softspringeveningsIoftenlingereddowntowntowalkhomewithFrances，andtalkedtoheraboutmyplansandaboutthereadingIwasdoing。OneeveningshesaidshethoughtMrs。Harlingwasnotseriouslyoffendedwithme。

`Mamaisasbroad-mindedasmotherseverare，Iguess。

ButyouknowshewashurtaboutAntonia，andshecan\'tunderstandwhyyouliketobewithTinyandLenabetterthanwiththegirlsofyourownset。\'

`Canyou？\'Iaskedbluntly。

Franceslaughed。`Yes，IthinkIcan。Youknewtheminthecountry，andyouliketotakesides。Insomewaysyou\'reolderthanboysofyourage。

Itwillbeallrightwithmamaafteryoupassyourcollegeexaminationsandsheseesyou\'reinearnest。\'

`Ifyouwereaboy，\'Ipersisted，`youwouldn\'tbelongtotheOwlClub，either。You\'dbejustlikeme。\'

Sheshookherhead。`IwouldandIwouldn\'t。IexpectIknowthecountrygirlsbetterthanyoudo。Youalwaysputakindofglamouroverthem。Thetroublewithyou，Jim，isthatyou\'reromantic。Mama\'sgoingtoyourCommencement。SheaskedmetheotherdayifIknewwhatyourorationistobeabout。

Shewantsyoutodowell。\'

Ithoughtmyorationverygood。ItstatedwithfervouragreatmanythingsIhadlatelydiscovered。Mrs。HarlingcametotheOperaHousetoheartheCommencementexercises，andIlookedathermostofthetimewhileImademyspeech。

Herkeen，intelligenteyesneverleftmyface。

Afterwardshecamebacktothedressing-roomwherewestood，withourdiplomasinourhands，walkeduptome，andsaidheartily:

`Yousurprisedme，Jim。Ididn\'tbelieveyoucoulddoaswellasthat。Youdidn\'tgetthatspeechoutofbooks。\'

AmongmygraduationpresentstherewasasilkumbrellafromMrs。Harling，withmynameonthehandle。

IwalkedhomefromtheOperaHousealone。AsIpassedtheMethodistChurch，Isawthreewhitefiguresaheadofme，pacingupanddownunderthearchingmapletrees，wherethemoonlightfilteredthroughthelushJunefoliage。

Theyhurriedtowardme；theywerewaitingforme——LenaandTonyandAnnaHansen。

`Oh，Jim，itwassplendid！\'Tonywasbreathinghard，asshealwaysdidwhenherfeelingsoutranherlanguage。

`Thereain\'talawyerinBlackHawkcouldmakeaspeechlikethat。Ijuststoppedyourgrandpaandsaidsotohim。

Hewon\'ttellyou，buthetoldushewasawfulsurprisedhimself，didn\'the，girls？\'

Lenasidleduptomeandsaidteasingly，`Whatmadeyousosolemn？

Ithoughtyouwerescared。Iwassureyou\'dforget。\'

Annaspokewistfully。

`Itmustmakeyouveryhappy，Jim，tohavefinethoughtslikethatinyourmindallthetime，andtohavewordstoputthemin。

Ialwayswantedtogotoschool，youknow。\'

`Oh，Ijustsatthereandwishedmypapacouldhearyou！Jim\'——Antoniatookholdofmycoatlapels——\'therewassomethinginyourspeechthatmademethinksoaboutmypapa！\'

`IthoughtaboutyourpapawhenIwrotemyspeech，Tony，\'Isaid。

`Idedicatedittohim。\'

Shethrewherarmsaroundme，andherdearfacewasallwetwithtears。

Istoodwatchingtheirwhitedressesglimmersmallerandsmallerdownthesidewalkastheywentaway。Ihavehadnoothersuccessthatpulledatmyheartstringslikethatone。

XIV

THEDAYAFTERCOMMENCEMENTImovedmybooksanddeskupstairs，toanemptyroomwhereIshouldbeundisturbed，andIfelltostudyinginearnest。

Iworkedoffayear\'strigonometrythatsummer，andbeganVirgilalone。

MorningaftermorningIusedtopaceupanddownmysunnylittleroom，lookingoffatthedistantriverbluffsandtherolloftheblondpasturesbetween，scanningthe`Aeneid\'aloudandcommittinglongpassagestomemory。SometimesintheeveningMrs。HarlingcalledtomeasIpassedhergate，andaskedmetocomeinandletherplayforme。

ShewaslonelyforCharley，shesaid，andlikedtohaveaboyabout。

Whenevermygrandparentshadmisgivings，andbegantowonderwhetherIwasnottooyoungtogoofftocollegealone，Mrs。Harlingtookupmycausevigorously。GrandfatherhadsuchrespectforherjudgmentthatIknewhewouldnotgoagainsther。

Ihadonlyoneholidaythatsummer。ItwasinJuly。

ImetAntoniadowntownonSaturdayafternoon，andlearnedthatsheandTinyandLenaweregoingtotherivernextdaywithAnnaHansen——theelderwasallinbloomnow，andAnnawantedtomakeelderblowwine。

`Anna\'stodriveusdownintheMarshalls\'deliverywagon，andwe\'lltakeanicelunchandhaveapicnic。Justus；nobodyelse。

Couldn\'tyouhappenalong，Jim？Itwouldbelikeoldtimes。\'

Iconsideredamoment。`MaybeIcan，ifIwon\'tbeintheway。\'

OnSundaymorningIroseearlyandgotoutofBlackHawkwhilethedewwasstillheavyonthelongmeadowgrasses。

Itwasthehighseasonforsummerflowers。

Thepinkbee-bushstoodtallalongthesandyroadsides，andthecone-flowersandrosemallowgreweverywhere。

Acrossthewirefence，inthelonggrass，Isawaclumpofflamingorange-colouredmilkweed，rareinthatpartofthestate。

Ilefttheroadandwentaroundthroughastretchofpasturethatwasalwayscroppedshortinsummer，wherethegaillardiacameupyearafteryearandmattedoverthegroundwiththedeep，velvetyredthatisinBokharacarpets。ThecountrywasemptyandsolitaryexceptforthelarksthatSundaymorning，anditseemedtoliftitselfuptomeandtocomeveryclose。

Theriverwasrunningstrongformidsummer；heavyrainstothewestofushadkeptitfull。Icrossedthebridgeandwentupstreamalongthewoodedshoretoapleasantdressing-roomIknewamongthedogwoodbushes，allovergrownwithwildgrapevines。Ibegantoundressforaswim。

Thegirlswouldnotbealongyet。ForthefirsttimeitoccurredtomethatIshouldbehomesickforthatriverafterIleftit。

Thesandbars，withtheircleanwhitebeachesandtheirlittlegrovesofwillowsandcottonwoodseedlings，wereasortofNoMan\'sLand，littlenewlycreatedworldsthatbelongedtotheBlackHawkboys。

CharleyHarlingandIhadhuntedthroughthesewoods，fishedfromthefallenlogs，untilIkneweveryinchoftherivershoresandhadafriendlyfeelingforeverybarandshallow。

Aftermyswim，whileIwasplayingaboutindolentlyinthewater，Iheardthesoundofhoofsandwheelsonthebridge。

Istruckdownstreamandshouted，astheopenspringwagoncameintoviewonthemiddlespan。Theystoppedthehorse，andthetwogirlsinthebottomofthecartstoodup，steadyingthemselvesbytheshouldersofthetwoinfront，sothattheycouldseemebetter。Theywerecharmingupthere，huddledtogetherinthecartandpeeringdownatmelikecuriousdeerwhentheycomeoutofthethickettodrink。

Ifoundbottomnearthebridgeandstoodup，wavingtothem。

`Howprettyyoulook！\'Icalled。

`Sodoyou！\'theyshoutedaltogether，andbrokeintopealsoflaughter。

AnnaHansenshookthereinsandtheydroveon，whileIzigzaggedbacktomyinletandclamberedupbehindanoverhangingelm。

Idriedmyselfinthesun，anddressedslowly，reluctanttoleavethatgreenenclosurewherethesunlightflickeredsobrightthroughthegrapevineleavesandthewoodpeckerhammeredawayinthecrookedelmthattrailedoutoverthewater。

AsIwentalongtheroadbacktothebridge，Ikeptpickingofflittlepiecesofscalychalkfromthedriedwatergullies，andbreakingthemupinmyhands。

WhenIcameupontheMarshalls\'deliveryhorse，tiedintheshade，thegirlshadalreadytakentheirbasketsandgonedowntheeastroadwhichwoundthroughthesandandscrub。

Icouldhearthemcallingtoeachother。Theelderbushesdidnotgrowbackintheshadyravinesbetweenthebluffs，butinthehot，sandybottomsalongthestream，wheretheirrootswerealwaysinmoistureandtheirtopsinthesun。

Theblossomswereunusuallyluxuriantandbeautifulthatsummer。

Ifollowedacattlepaththroughthethickunder-brushuntilI

cametoaslopethatfellawayabruptlytothewater\'sedge。

Agreatchunkoftheshorehadbeenbittenoutbysomespringfreshet，andthescarwasmaskedbyelderbushes，growingdowntothewaterinfloweryterraces。Ididnottouchthem。Iwasovercomebycontentanddrowsinessandbythewarmsilenceaboutme。

Therewasnosoundbutthehigh，singsongbuzzofwildbeesandthesunnygurgleofthewaterunderneath。Ipeepedovertheedgeofthebanktoseethelittlestreamthatmadethenoise；

itflowedalongperfectlyclearoverthesandandgravel，cutofffromthemuddymaincurrentbyalongsandbar。

Downthere，onthelowershelfofthebank，IsawAntonia，seatedaloneunderthepagoda-likeelders。Shelookedupwhensheheardme，andsmiled，butIsawthatshehadbeencrying。

Isliddownintothesoftsandbesideherandaskedherwhatwasthematter。

`Itmakesmehomesick，Jimmy，thisflower，thissmell，\'shesaidsoftly。

`Wehavethisflowerverymuchathome，intheoldcountry。

Italwaysgrewinouryardandmypapahadagreenbenchandatableunderthebushes。Insummer，whentheywereinbloom，heusedtosittherewithhisfriendthatplayedthetrombone。

WhenIwaslittleIusedtogodowntheretohearthemtalk——

beautifultalk，likewhatIneverhearinthiscountry。\'

`Whatdidtheytalkabout？\'Iaskedher。

Shesighedandshookherhead。`Oh，Idon\'tknow！Aboutmusic，andthewoods，andaboutGod，andwhentheywereyoung。\'

Sheturnedtomesuddenlyandlookedintomyeyes。

`Youthink，Jimmy，thatmaybemyfather\'sspiritcangobacktothoseoldplaces？\'

Itoldheraboutthefeelingofherfather\'spresenceI

hadonthatwinterdaywhenmygrandparentshadgoneovertoseehisdeadbodyandIwasleftaloneinthehouse。

IsaidIfeltsurethenthathewasonhiswaybacktohisowncountry，andthatevennow，whenIpassedhisgrave，Ialwaysthoughtofhimasbeingamongthewoodsandfieldsthatweresodeartohim。

Antoniahadthemosttrusting，responsiveeyesintheworld；

loveandcredulousnessseemedtolookoutofthemwithopenfaces。

`Whydidn\'tyouevertellmethatbefore？Itmakesmefeelmoresureforhim。\'Afterawhileshesaid:`Youknow，Jim，myfatherwasdifferentfrommymother。Hedidnothavetomarrymymother，andallhisbrothersquarrelledwithhimbecausehedid。

Iusedtoheartheoldpeopleathomewhisperaboutit。

Theysaidhecouldhavepaidmymothermoney，andnotmarriedher。

Buthewasolderthanshewas，andhewastookindtotreatherlikethat。

Helivedinhismother\'shouse，andshewasapoorgirlcomeintodothework。Aftermyfathermarriedher，mygrandmotherneverletmymothercomeintoherhouseagain。WhenIwenttomygrandmother\'sfuneralwastheonlytimeIwaseverinmygrandmother\'shouse。

Don\'tthatseemstrange？\'

Whileshetalked，Ilaybackinthehotsandandlookedupattheblueskybetweentheflatbouquetsofelder。Icouldhearthebeeshummingandsinging，buttheystayedupinthesunabovetheflowersanddidnotcomedownintotheshadowoftheleaves。

AntoniaseemedtomethatdayexactlylikethelittlegirlwhousedtocometoourhousewithMr。Shimerda。

`Someday，Tony，Iamgoingovertoyourcountry，andIamgoingtothelittletownwhereyoulived。

Doyourememberallaboutit？\'

`Jim，\'shesaidearnestly，`ifIwasputdownthereinthemiddleofthenight，Icouldfindmywayalloverthatlittletown；

andalongtherivertothenexttown，wheremygrandmotherlived。

Myfeetrememberallthelittlepathsthroughthewoods，andwherethebigrootsstickouttotripyou。Iain\'tneverforgotmyowncountry。\'

Therewasacracklinginthebranchesaboveus，andLenaLingardpeereddownovertheedgeofthebank。

`Youlazythings！\'shecried。`Allthiselder，andyoutwolyingthere！Didn\'tyouhearuscallingyou？\'

Almostasflushedasshehadbeeninmydream，sheleanedovertheedgeofthebankandbegantodemolishourflowerypagoda。

Ihadneverseenhersoenergetic；shewaspantingwithzeal，andtheperspirationstoodindropsonhershort，yieldingupperlip。

Isprangtomyfeetandranupthebank。

Itwasnoonnow，andsohotthatthedogwoodsandscrub-oaksbegantoturnupthesilveryundersideoftheirleaves，andallthefoliagelookedsoftandwilted。Icarriedthelunch-baskettothetopofoneofthechalkbluffs，whereevenonthecalmestdaystherewasalwaysabreeze。

Theflat-topped，twistedlittleoaksthrewlightshadowsonthegrass。Belowuswecouldseethewindingsoftheriver，andBlackHawk，groupedamongitstrees，and，beyond，therollingcountry，swellinggentlyuntilitmetthesky。

Wecouldrecognizefamiliarfarm-housesandwindmills。

Eachofthegirlspointedouttomethedirectioninwhichherfather\'sfarmlay，andtoldmehowmanyacreswereinwheatthatyearandhowmanyincorn。

`Myoldfolks，\'saidTinySoderball，`haveputintwentyacresofrye。

Theygetitgroundatthemill，anditmakesnicebread。

Itseemslikemymotherain\'tbeensohomesick，eversincefather\'sraisedryeflourforher。\'

`Itmusthavebeenatrialforourmothers，\'saidLena，`comingouthereandhavingtodoeverythingdifferent。

Mymotherhadalwayslivedintown。Shesaysshestartedbehindinfarm-work，andneverhascaughtup。\'

`Yes，anewcountry\'shardontheoldones，sometimes，\'

saidAnnathoughtfully。`Mygrandmother\'sgettingfeeblenow，andhermindwanders。She\'sforgotaboutthiscountry，andthinksshe\'sathomeinNorway。Shekeepsaskingmothertotakeherdowntothewatersideandthefishmarket。

Shecravesfishallthetime。WheneverIgohomeItakehercannedsalmonandmackerel。\'

`Mercy，it\'shot！\'Lenayawned。Shewassupineunderalittleoak，restingafterthefuryofherelder-hunting，andhadtakenoffthehigh-heeledslippersshehadbeensillyenoughtowear。

`Comehere，Jim。Younevergotthesandoutofyourhair。\'

Shebegantodrawherfingersslowlythroughmyhair。

Antoniapushedheraway。`You\'llnevergetitoutlikethat，\'

shesaidsharply。Shegavemyheadaroughtouzlingandfinishedmeoffwithsomethinglikeaboxontheear。

`Lena，yououghtn\'ttotrytowearthoseslippersanymore。

They\'retoosmallforyourfeet。You\'dbettergivethemtomeforYulka。\'

`Allright，\'saidLenagood-naturedly，tuckingherwhitestockingsunderherskirt。`YougetallYulka\'sthings，don\'tyou？

Iwishfatherdidn\'thavesuchbadluckwithhisfarmmachinery；

thenIcouldbuymorethingsformysisters。I\'mgoingtogetMaryanewcoatthisfall，ifthesulkyplough\'sneverpaidfor！\'

Tinyaskedherwhyshedidn\'twaituntilafterChristmas，whencoatswouldbecheaper。`Whatdoyouthinkofpoorme？\'sheadded；

`withsixathome，youngerthanIam？AndtheyallthinkI\'mrich，becausewhenIgobacktothecountryI\'mdressedsofine！\'

Sheshruggedhershoulders。`But，youknow，myweaknessisplaythings。

Iliketobuythemplaythingsbetterthanwhattheyneed。\'

`Iknowhowthatis，\'saidAnna。`Whenwefirstcamehere，andIwaslittle，weweretoopoortobuytoys。InevergotoverthelossofadollsomebodygavemebeforeweleftNorway。

AboyontheboatbrokeherandIstillhatehimforit。\'

`Iguessafteryougothereyouhadplentyoflivedollstonurse，likeme！\'

Lenaremarkedcynically。

`Yes，thebabiescamealongprettyfast，tobesure。ButIneverminded。

Iwasfondofthemall。Theyoungestone，thatwedidn\'tanyofuswant，istheonewelovebestnow。\'

Lenasighed。`Oh，thebabiesareallright；ifonlytheydon\'tcomeinwinter。Oursnearlyalwaysdid。Idon\'tseehowmotherstoodit。

Itellyouwhat，girls\'——shesatupwithsuddenenergy——\'I\'mgoingtogetmymotheroutofthatoldsodhousewhereshe\'slivedsomanyyears。

Themenwillneverdoit。Johnnie，that\'smyoldestbrother，he\'swantingtogetmarriednow，andbuildahouseforhisgirlinsteadofhismother。

Mrs。ThomassaysshethinksIcanmovetosomeothertownprettysoon，andgointobusinessformyself。IfIdon\'tgetintobusiness，I\'llmaybemarryarichgambler。\'

`Thatwouldbeapoorwaytogeton，\'saidAnnasarcastically。

`IwishIcouldteachschool，likeSelmaKronn。Justthink！

She\'llbethefirstScandinaviangirltogetapositioninthehighschool。

Weoughttobeproudofher。\'

Selmawasastudiousgirl，whohadnotmuchtoleranceforgiddythingslikeTinyandLena；buttheyalwaysspokeofherwithadmiration。

Tinymovedaboutrestlessly，fanningherselfwithherstrawhat。

`IfIwassmartlikeher，I\'dbeatmybooksdayandnight。

Butshewasbornsmart——andlookhowherfather\'strainedher！

Hewassomethinghighupintheoldcountry。\'

`Sowasmymother\'sfather，\'murmuredLena，`butthat\'sallthegooditdoesus！Myfather\'sfatherwassmart，too，buthewaswild。

HemarriedaLapp。Iguessthat\'swhat\'sthematterwithme；

theysayLappbloodwillout。\'

`ArealLapp，Lena？\'Iexclaimed。`Thekindthatwearskins？\'

`Idon\'tknowifsheworeskins，butshewasaLappsallright，andhisfolksfeltdreadfulaboutit。HewassentupNorthonsomegovernmentjobhehad，andfellinwithher。

Hewouldmarryher。\'

`ButIthoughtLaplandwomenwerefatandugly，andhadsquinteyes，likeChinese？\'Iobjected。

`Idon\'tknow，maybe。TheremustbesomethingmightytakingabouttheLappgirls，though；mothersaystheNorwegiansupNortharealwaysafraidtheirboyswillrunafterthem。\'

Intheafternoon，whentheheatwaslessoppressive，wehadalivelygameof`PussyWantsaCorner，\'ontheflatbluff-top，withthelittletreesforbases。LenawasPussysooftenthatshefinallysaidshewouldn\'tplayanymore。

Wethrewourselvesdownonthegrass，outofbreath。

`Jim，\'Antoniasaiddreamily，`IwantyoutotellthegirlsabouthowtheSpanishfirstcamehere，likeyouandCharleyHarlingusedtotalkabout。

I\'vetriedtotellthem，butIleaveoutsomuch。\'

Theysatunderalittleoak，Tonyrestingagainstthetrunkandtheothergirlsleaningagainstherandeachother，andlistenedtothelittleIwasabletotellthemaboutCoronadoandhissearchfortheSevenGoldenCities。

AtschoolweweretaughtthathehadnotgotsofarnorthasNebraska，buthadgivenuphisquestandturnedbacksomewhereinKansas。

ButCharleyHarlingandIhadastrongbeliefthathehadbeenalongthisveryriver。Afarmerinthecountynorthofours，whenhewasbreakingsod，hadturnedupametalstirrupoffineworkmanship，andaswordwithaSpanishinscriptionontheblade。

HelenttheserelicstoMr。Harling，whobroughtthemhomewithhim。

CharleyandIscouredthem，andtheywereonexhibitionintheHarlingofficeallsummer。FatherKelly，thepriest，hadfoundthenameoftheSpanishmakerontheswordandanabbreviationthatstoodforthecityofCordova。

`AndthatIsawwithmyowneyes，\'Antoniaputintriumphantly。

`SoJimandCharleywereright，andtheteacherswerewrong！\'

Thegirlsbegantowonderamongthemselves。WhyhadtheSpaniardscomesofar？Whatmustthiscountryhavebeenlike，then？

WhyhadCoronadonevergonebacktoSpain，tohisrichesandhiscastlesandhisking？Icouldn\'ttellthem。

Ionlyknewtheschoolbookssaidhe`diedinthewilderness，ofabrokenheart。\'

`Morethanhimhasdonethat，\'saidAntoniasadly，andthegirlsmurmuredassent。

Wesatlookingoffacrossthecountry，watchingthesungodown。

Thecurlygrassaboutuswasonfirenow。Thebarkoftheoaksturnedredascopper。Therewasashimmerofgoldonthebrownriver。

Outinthestreamthesandbarsglitteredlikeglass，andthelighttrembledinthewillowthicketsasiflittleflameswereleapingamongthem。Thebreezesanktostillness。Intheravinearingdovemournedplaintively，andsomewhereoffinthebushesanowlhooted。

Thegirlssatlistless，leaningagainsteachother。Thelongfingersofthesuntouchedtheirforeheads。

Presentlywesawacuriousthing:Therewerenoclouds，thesunwasgoingdowninalimpid，gold-washedsky。Justastheloweredgeofthereddiskrestedonthehighfieldsagainstthehorizon，agreatblackfiguresuddenlyappearedonthefaceofthesun。

Wesprangtoourfeet，strainingoureyestowardit。Inamomentwerealizedwhatitwas。Onsomeuplandfarm，aploughhadbeenleftstandinginthefield。Thesunwassinkingjustbehindit。

Magnifiedacrossthedistancebythehorizontallight，itstoodoutagainstthesun，wasexactlycontainedwithinthecircleofthedisk；

thehandles，thetongue，theshare——blackagainstthemoltenred。

Thereitwas，heroicinsize，apicturewritingonthesun。

Evenwhilewewhisperedaboutit，ourvisiondisappeared；theballdroppedanddroppeduntiltheredtipwentbeneaththeearth。

Thefieldsbelowusweredark，theskywasgrowingpale，andthatforgottenploughhadsunkbacktoitsownlittlenesssomewhereontheprairie。

XV

LATEINAUGUSTtheCutterswenttoOmahaforafewdays，leavingAntoniainchargeofthehouse。SincethescandalabouttheSwedishgirl，WickCuttercouldnevergethiswifetostiroutofBlackHawkwithouthim。

ThedayaftertheCuttersleft，Antoniacameovertoseeus。

Grandmothernoticedthatsheseemedtroubledanddistracted。

`You\'vegotsomethingonyourmind，Antonia，\'shesaidanxiously。

`Yes，Mrs。Burden。Icouldn\'tsleepmuchlastnight。\'Shehesitated，andthentoldushowstrangelyMr。Cutterhadbehavedbeforehewentaway。

Heputallthesilverinabasketandplaceditunderherbed，andwithitaboxofpaperswhichhetoldherwerevaluable。

Hemadeherpromisethatshewouldnotsleepawayfromthehouse，orbeoutlateintheevening，whilehewasgone。Hestrictlyforbadehertoaskanyofthegirlssheknewtostaywithheratnight。

Shewouldbeperfectlysafe，hesaid，ashehadjustputanewYalelockonthefrontdoor。

Cutterhadbeensoinsistentinregardtothesedetailsthatnowshefeltuncomfortableaboutstayingtherealone。Shehadn\'tlikedthewayhekeptcomingintothekitchentoinstructher，orthewayhelookedather。

`Ifeelasifheisuptosomeofhistricksagain，andisgoingtotrytoscareme，somehow。\'

Grandmotherwasapprehensiveatonce。`Idon\'tthinkit\'srightforyoutostaythere，feelingthatway。Isupposeitwouldn\'tberightforyoutoleavetheplacealone，either，aftergivingyourword。

MaybeJimwouldbewillingtogooverthereandsleep，andyoucouldcomeherenights。I\'dfeelsafer，knowingyouwereundermyownroof。

IguessJimcouldtakecareoftheirsilverandoldusurynotesaswellasyoucould。\'

Antoniaturnedtomeeagerly。`Oh，wouldyou，Jim？I\'dmakeupmybedniceandfreshforyou。It\'sarealcoolroom，andthebed\'srightnextthewindow。Iwasafraidtoleavethewindowopenlastnight。\'

Ilikedmyownroom，andIdidn\'tliketheCutters\'houseunderanycircumstances；butTonylookedsotroubledthatIconsentedtotrythisarrangement。IfoundthatIsleptthereaswellasanywhere，andwhenIgothomeinthemorning，Tonyhadagoodbreakfastwaitingforme。

Afterprayersshesatdownatthetablewithus，anditwaslikeoldtimesinthecountry。

ThethirdnightIspentattheCutters\'，IawokesuddenlywiththeimpressionthatIhadheardadooropenandshut。

Everythingwasstill，however，andImusthavegonetosleepagainimmediately。

ThenextthingIknew，Ifeltsomeonesitdownontheedgeofthebed。Iwasonlyhalfawake，butIdecidedthathemighttaketheCutters\'silver，whoeverhewas。

PerhapsifIdidnotmove，hewouldfinditandgetoutwithouttroublingme。Iheldmybreathandlayabsolutelystill。

Ahandclosedsoftlyonmyshoulder，andatthesamemomentI

feltsomethinghairyandcologne-scentedbrushingmyface。

Iftheroomhadsuddenlybeenfloodedwithelectriclight，Icouldn\'thaveseenmoreclearlythedetestablebeardedcountenancethatIknewwasbendingoverme。

Icaughtahandfulofwhiskersandpulled，shoutingsomething。

Thehandthatheldmyshoulderwasinstantlyatmythroat。

Themanbecameinsane；hestoodoverme，chokingmewithonefistandbeatingmeinthefacewiththeother，hissingandchucklingandlettingoutafloodofabuse。

`Sothisiswhatshe\'suptowhenI\'maway，isit？

Whereisshe，younastywhelp，whereisshe？Underthebed，areyou，hussy？Iknowyourtricks！WaittillIgetatyou！

I\'llfixthisratyou\'vegotinhere。He\'scaught，allright！\'

SolongasCutterhadmebythethroat，therewasnochanceformeatall。

Igotholdofhisthumbandbentitback，untilheletgowithayell。

Inabound，Iwasonmyfeet，andeasilysenthimsprawlingtothefloor。

ThenImadeadivefortheopenwindow，struckthewirescreen，knockeditout，andtumbledafteritintotheyard。

SuddenlyIfoundmyselfrunningacrossthenorthendofBlackHawkinmynight-shirt，justasonesometimesfindsone\'sselfbehavinginbaddreams。

WhenIgothome，Iclimbedinatthekitchenwindow。Iwascoveredwithbloodfrommynoseandlip，butIwastoosicktodoanythingaboutit。

Ifoundashawlandanovercoatonthehat-rack，laydownontheparloursofa，andinspiteofmyhurts，wenttosleep。

Grandmotherfoundmethereinthemorning。Hercryoffrightawakenedme。Truly，Iwasabatteredobject。Asshehelpedmetomyroom，Icaughtaglimpseofmyselfinthemirror。

Mylipwascutandstoodoutlikeasnout。Mynoselookedlikeabigblueplum，andoneeyewasswollenshutandhideouslydiscoloured。

Grandmothersaidwemusthavethedoctoratonce，butIimploredher，asIhadneverbeggedforanythingbefore，nottosendforhim。

Icouldstandanything，Itoldher，solongasnobodysawmeorknewwhathadhappenedtome。Ientreatedhernottoletgrandfather，even，comeintomyroom。Sheseemedtounderstand，thoughIwastoofaintandmiserabletogointoexplanations。

Whenshetookoffmynight-shirt，shefoundsuchbruisesonmychestandshouldersthatshebegantocry。Shespentthewholemorningbathingandpoulticingme，andrubbingmewitharnica。

IheardAntoniasobbingoutsidemydoor，butIaskedgrandmothertosendheraway。IfeltthatIneverwantedtoseeheragain。

IhatedheralmostasmuchasIhatedCutter。Shehadletmeinforallthisdisgustingness。GrandmotherkeptsayinghowthankfulweoughttobethatIhadbeenthereinsteadofAntonia。ButIlaywithmydisfiguredfacetothewallandfeltnoparticulargratitude。

Myoneconcernwasthatgrandmothershouldkeepeveryoneawayfromme。

Ifthestoryoncegotabroad，Iwouldneverhearthelastofit。

Icouldwellimaginewhattheoldmendownatthedrugstorewoulddowithsuchatheme。

Whilegrandmotherwastryingtomakemecomfortable，grandfatherwenttothedepotandlearnedthatWickCutterhadcomehomeonthenightexpressfromtheeast，andhadleftagainonthesixo\'clocktrainforDenverthatmorning。

Theagentsaidhisfacewasstripedwithcourt-plaster，andhecarriedhislefthandinasling。Helookedsousedup，thattheagentaskedhimwhathadhappenedtohimsinceteno\'clockthenightbefore；whereatCutterbegantoswearathimandsaidhewouldhavehimdischargedforincivility。

Thatafternoon，whileIwasasleep，Antoniatookgrandmotherwithher，andwentovertotheCutters\'topackhertrunk。Theyfoundtheplacelockedup，andtheyhadtobreakthewindowtogetintoAntonia\'sbedroom。

Thereeverythingwasinshockingdisorder。Herclotheshadbeentakenoutofhercloset，thrownintothemiddleoftheroom，andtrampledandtorn。

MyowngarmentshadbeentreatedsobadlythatIneversawthemagain；

grandmotherburnedthemintheCutters\'kitchenrange。

WhileAntoniawaspackinghertrunkandputtingherroominorder，toleaveit，thefrontdoorbellrangviolently。TherestoodMrs。Cutter——

lockedout，forshehadnokeytothenewlock——herheadtremblingwithrage。

`Iadvisedhertocontrolherself，orshewouldhaveastroke，\'

grandmothersaidafterward。

GrandmotherwouldnotletherseeAntoniaatall，butmadehersitdownintheparlourwhilesherelatedtoherjustwhathadoccurredthenightbefore。

Antoniawasfrightened，andwasgoinghometostayforawhile，shetoldMrs。Cutter；itwouldbeuselesstointerrogatethegirl，forsheknewnothingofwhathadhappened。

ThenMrs。Cuttertoldherstory。SheandherhusbandhadstartedhomefromOmahatogetherthemorningbefore。TheyhadtostopoverseveralhoursatWaymoreJunctiontocatchtheBlackHawktrain。Duringthewait，CutterleftheratthedepotandwenttotheWaymorebanktoattendtosomebusiness。

Whenhereturned，hetoldherthathewouldhavetostayovernightthere，butshecouldgoonhome。Heboughtherticketandputheronthetrain。

Shesawhimslipatwenty-dollarbillintoherhandbagwithherticket。

Thatbill，shesaid，shouldhavearousedhersuspicionsatonce——butdidnot。

Thetrainsarenevercalledatlittlejunctiontowns；

everybodyknowswhentheycomein。Mr。Cuttershowedhiswife\'stickettotheconductor，andsettledherinherseatbeforethetrainmovedoff。ItwasnotuntilnearlynightfallthatshediscoveredshewasontheexpressboundforKansasCity，thatherticketwasmadeouttothatpoint，andthatCuttermusthaveplanneditso。TheconductortoldhertheBlackHawktrainwasdueatWaymoretwelveminutesaftertheKansasCitytrainleft。ShesawatoncethatherhusbandhadplayedthistrickinordertogetbacktoBlackHawkwithouther。

ShehadnochoicebuttogoontoKansasCityandtakethefirstfasttrainforhome。

Cuttercouldhavegothomeadayearlierthanhiswifebyanyoneofadozensimplerdevices；hecouldhaveleftherintheOmahahotel，andsaidhewasgoingontoChicagoforafewdays。

Butapparentlyitwaspartofhisfuntooutrageherfeelingsasmuchaspossible。

`Mr。Cutterwillpayforthis，Mrs。Burden。Hewillpay！\'

Mrs。Cutteravouched，noddingherhorse-likeheadandrollinghereyes。

Grandmothersaidshehadn\'tadoubtofit。

CertainlyCutterlikedtohavehiswifethinkhimadevil。

InsomewayhedependedupontheexcitementHecouldarouseinherhystericalnature。Perhapshegotthefeelingofbeingarakemorefromhiswife\'srageandamazementthanfromanyexperiencesofhisown。

Hiszestindebaucherymightwane，butneverMrs。Cutter\'sbeliefinit。

Thereckoningwithhiswifeattheendofanescapadewassomethinghecountedon——likethelastpowerfulliqueurafteralongdinner。

Theoneexcitementhereallycouldn\'tdowithoutwasquarrellingwithMrs。Cutter！

EndofBookII

BOOKIIILenaLingardI

ATTHEUNIVERSITYIhadthegoodfortunetocomeimmediatelyundertheinfluenceofabrilliantandinspiringyoungscholar。

GastonClerichadarrivedinLincolnonlyafewweeksearlierthanI，tobeginhisworkasheadoftheLatinDepartment。

HecameWestatthesuggestionofhisphysicians，hishealthhavingbeenenfeebledbyalongillnessinItaly。

WhenItookmyentranceexaminations，hewasmyexaminer，andmycoursewasarrangedunderhissupervision。

Ididnotgohomeformyfirstsummervacation，butstayedinLincoln，workingoffayear\'sGreek，whichhadbeenmyonlyconditiononenteringthefreshmanclass。Cleric\'sdoctoradvisedagainsthisgoingbacktoNewEngland，and，exceptforafewweeksinColorado，he，too，wasinLincolnallthatsummer。

Weplayedtennis，read，andtooklongwalkstogether。

Ishallalwayslookbackonthattimeofmentalawakeningasoneofthehappiestinmylife。GastonClericintroducedmetotheworldofideas；whenonefirstentersthatworldeverythingelsefadesforatime，andallthatwentbeforeisasifithadnotbeen。YetIfoundcurioussurvivals；

someofthefiguresofmyoldlifeseemedtobewaitingformeinthenew。

Inthosedaysthereweremanyseriousyoungmenamongthestudentswhohadcomeuptotheuniversityfromthefarmsandthelittletownsscatteredoverthethinlysettledstate。

Someofthoseboyscamestraightfromthecornfieldswithonlyasummer\'swagesintheirpockets，hungonthroughthefouryears，shabbyandunderfed，andcompletedthecoursebyreallyheroicself-sacrifice。Ourinstructorswereoddlyassorted；

wanderingpioneerschool-teachers，strandedministersoftheGospel，afewenthusiasticyoungmenjustoutofgraduateschools。

Therewasanatmosphereofendeavour，ofexpectancyandbrighthopefulnessabouttheyoungcollegethathadlifteditsheadfromtheprairieonlyafewyearsbefore。

Ourpersonallifewasasfreeasthatofourinstructors。

Therewerenocollegedormitories；welivedwherewecouldandaswecould。

Itookroomswithanoldcouple，earlysettlersinLincoln，whohadmarriedofftheirchildrenandnowlivedquietlyintheirhouseattheedgeoftown，neartheopencountry。Thehousewasinconvenientlysituatedforstudents，andonthataccountIgottworoomsforthepriceofone。Mybedroom，originallyalinen-closet，wasunheatedandwasbarelylargeenoughtocontainmycot-bed，butitenabledmetocalltheotherroommystudy。

Thedresser，andthegreatwalnutwardrobewhichheldallmyclothes，evenmyhatsandshoes，Ihadpushedoutoftheway，andIconsideredthemnon-existent，aschildreneliminateincongruousobjectswhentheyareplayinghouse。Iworkedatacommodiousgreen-toppedtableplaceddirectlyinfrontofthewestwindowwhichlookedoutovertheprairie。Inthecorneratmyrightwereallmybooks，inshelvesIhadmadeandpaintedmyself。

Ontheblankwallatmyleftthedark，old-fashionedwall-paperwascoveredbyalargemapofancientRome，theworkofsomeGermanscholar。

Clerichadordereditformewhenhewassendingforbooksfromabroad。

OverthebookcasehungaphotographoftheTragicTheatreatPompeii，whichhehadgivenmefromhiscollection。

WhenIsatatworkIhalf-facedadeep，upholsteredchairwhichstoodattheendofmytable，itshighbackagainstthewall。

Ihadboughtitwithgreatcare。Myinstructorsometimeslookedinuponmewhenhewasoutforaneveningtramp，andInoticedthathewasmorelikelytolingerandbecometalkativeifIhadacomfortablechairforhimtositin，andifhefoundabottleofBenedictineandplentyofthekindofcigarettesheliked，athiselbow。

Hewas，Ihaddiscovered，parsimoniousaboutsmallexpenditures——

atraitabsolutelyinconsistentwithhisgeneralcharacter。

Sometimeswhenhecamehewassilentandmoody，andafterafewsarcasticremarkswentawayagain，totrampthestreetsofLincoln，whichwerealmostasquietandoppressivelydomesticasthoseofBlackHawk。Again，hewouldsituntilnearlymidnight，talkingaboutLatinandEnglishpoetry，ortellingmeabouthislongstayinItaly。

Icangivenoideaofthepeculiarcharmandvividnessofhistalk。

Inacrowdhewasnearlyalwayssilent。Evenforhisclassroomhehadnoplatitudes，nostockofprofessorialanecdotes。

Whenhewastired，hislectureswereclouded，obscure，elliptical；

butwhenhewasinterestedtheywerewonderful。IbelievethatGastonClericnarrowlymissedbeingagreatpoet，andIhavesometimesthoughtthathisburstsofimaginativetalkwerefataltohispoeticgift。

Hesquanderedtoomuchintheheatofpersonalcommunication。

HowoftenIhaveseenhimdrawhisdarkbrowstogether，fixhiseyesuponsomeobjectonthewallorafigureinthecarpet，andthenflashintothelamplighttheveryimagethatwasinhisbrain。

Hecouldbringthedramaofantiquelifebeforeoneoutoftheshadows——whitefiguresagainstbluebackgrounds。

IshallneverforgethisfaceasitlookedonenightwhenhetoldmeaboutthesolitarydayhespentamongtheseatemplesatPaestum:

thesoftwindblowingthroughtherooflesscolumns，thebirdsflyinglowoverthefloweringmarshgrasses，thechanginglightsonthesilver，cloud-hungmountains。Hehadwilfullystayedtheshortsummernightthere，wrappedinhiscoatandrug，watchingtheconstellationsontheirpathdowntheskyuntil`thebrideofoldTithonus\'

roseoutofthesea，andthemountainsstoodsharpinthedawn。

ItwastherehecaughtthefeverwhichheldhimbackontheeveofhisdepartureforGreeceandofwhichhelayillsolonginNaples。

Hewasstill，indeed，doingpenanceforit。

Iremembervividlyanotherevening，whensomethingledustotalkofDante\'svenerationforVirgil。Clericwentthroughcantoaftercantoofthe`Commedia，\'repeatingthediscoursebetweenDanteandhis`sweetteacher，\'whilehiscigaretteburneditselfoutunheededbetweenhislongfingers。Icanhearhimnow，speakingthelinesofthepoetStatius，whospokeforDante:

`Iwasfamousonearthwiththenamewhichendureslongestandhonoursmost。Theseedsofmyardourwerethesparksfromthatdivineflamewherebymorethanathousandhavekindled；

Ispeakofthe“Aeneid，“mothertomeandnursetomeinpoetry。\'

AlthoughIadmiredscholarshipsomuchinCleric，Iwasnotdeceivedaboutmyself；IknewthatIshouldneverbeascholar。

Icouldneverlosemyselfforlongamongimpersonalthings。

Mentalexcitementwasapttosendmewitharushbacktomyownnakedlandandthefiguresscattereduponit。

WhileIwasintheveryactofyearningtowardthenewformsthatClericbroughtupbeforeme，mymindplungedawayfromme，andIsuddenlyfoundmyselfthinkingoftheplacesandpeopleofmyowninfinitesimalpast。Theystoodoutstrengthenedandsimplifiednow，liketheimageoftheploughagainstthesun。

TheywereallIhadforananswertothenewappeal。

IbegrudgedtheroomthatJakeandOttoandRussianPetertookupinmymemory，whichIwantedtocrowdwithotherthings。

Butwhenevermyconsciousnesswasquickened，allthoseearlyfriendswerequickenedwithinit，andinsomestrangewaytheyaccompaniedmethroughallmynewexperiences。

TheyweresomuchaliveinmethatIscarcelystoppedtowonderwhethertheywerealiveanywhereelse，orhow。

II

ONEMARCHEVENINGinmysophomoreyearIwassittingaloneinmyroomaftersupper。Therehadbeenawarmthawallday，withmushyyardsandlittlestreamsofdarkwatergurglingcheerfullyintothestreetsoutofoldsnow-banks。Mywindowwasopen，andtheearthywindblowingthroughmademeindolent。

Ontheedgeoftheprairie，wherethesunhadgonedown，theskywasturquoiseblue，likealake，withgoldlightthrobbinginit。

Higherup，intheutterclarityofthewesternslope，theeveningstarhunglikealampsuspendedbysilverchains——likethelampengraveduponthetitle-pageofoldLatintexts，whichisalwaysappearinginnewheavens，andwakingnewdesiresinmen。

Itremindedme，atanyrate，toshutmywindowandlightmywickinanswer。Ididsoregretfully，andthedimobjectsintheroomemergedfromtheshadowsandtooktheirplaceaboutmewiththehelpfulnesswhichcustombreeds。

Iproppedmybookopenandstaredlistlesslyatthepageofthe`Georgics\'wheretomorrow\'slessonbegan。

Itopenedwiththemelancholyreflectionthat，inthelivesofmortalsthebestdaysarethefirsttoflee。

\'Optimadies……primafugit。\'Iturnedbacktothebeginningofthethirdbook，whichwehadreadinclassthatmorning。

\'Primusegoinpatriammecum……deducamMusas\'；`forIshallbethefirst，ifIlive，tobringtheMuseintomycountry。\'

Clerichadexplainedtousthat`patria\'heremeant，notanationorevenaprovince，butthelittleruralneighbourhoodontheMinciowherethepoetwasborn。Thiswasnotaboast，butahope，atonceboldanddevoutlyhumble，thathemightbringtheMuse(butlatelycometoItalyfromhercloudyGrecianmountains)，nottothecapital，thepalatiaRomana，buttohisownlittleIcountry\'；tohisfather\'sfields，`slopingdowntotheriverandtotheoldbeechtreeswithbrokentops。\'

ClericsaidhethoughtVirgil，whenhewasdyingatBrindisi，musthaverememberedthatpassage。Afterhehadfacedthebitterfactthathewastoleavethe`Aeneid\'unfinished，andhaddecreedthatthegreatcanvas，crowdedwithfiguresofgodsandmen，shouldbeburnedratherthansurvivehimunperfected，thenhismindmusthavegonebacktotheperfectutteranceofthe`Georgics，\'

wherethepenwasfittedtothematterastheploughistothefurrow；

andhemusthavesaidtohimself，withthethankfulnessofagoodman，`IwasthefirsttobringtheMuseintomycountry。\'

Welefttheclassroomquietly，consciousthatwehadbeenbrushedbythewingofagreatfeeling，thoughperhapsIaloneknewClericintimatelyenoughtoguesswhatthatfeelingwas。

Intheevening，asIsatstaringatmybook，thefervourofhisvoicestirredthroughthequantitiesonthepagebeforeme。

IwaswonderingwhetherthatparticularrockystripofNewEnglandcoastaboutwhichhehadsooftentoldmewasCleric\'spatria。

BeforeIhadgotfarwithmyreading，Iwasdisturbedbyaknock。

IhurriedtothedoorandwhenIopeneditsawawomanstandinginthedarkhall。

`Iexpectyouhardlyknowme，Jim。\'

Thevoiceseemedfamiliar，butIdidnotrecognizeheruntilshesteppedintothelightofmydoorwayandIbeheld——LenaLingard！

ShewassoquietlyconventionalizedbycityclothesthatI

mighthavepassedheronthestreetwithoutseeingher。

Herblacksuitfittedherfiguresmoothly，andablacklacehat，withpale-blueforget-me-nots，satdemurelyonheryellowhair。

IledhertowardCleric\'schair，theonlycomfortableoneIhad，questioningherconfusedly。

Shewasnotdisconcertedbymyembarrassment。

ShelookedaboutherwiththenaivecuriosityIrememberedsowell。`Youarequitecomfortablehere，aren\'tyou？

IliveinLincolnnow，too，Jim。I\'minbusinessformyself。

IhaveadressmakingshopintheRaleighBlock，outonOStreet。

I\'vemadearealgoodstart。\'

`But，Lena，whendidyoucome？\'

`Oh，I\'vebeenhereallwinter。Didn\'tyourgrandmothereverwriteyou？I\'vethoughtaboutlookingyouuplotsoftimes。

Butwe\'veallheardwhatastudiousyoungmanyou\'vegottobe，andIfeltbashful。Ididn\'tknowwhetheryou\'dbegladtoseeme。\'

Shelaughedhermellow，easylaugh，thatwaseitherveryartlessorverycomprehending，oneneverquiteknewwhich。`Youseemthesame，though——exceptyou\'reayoungman，now，ofcourse。

DoyouthinkI\'vechanged？\'

`Maybeyou\'reprettier——thoughyouwerealwaysprettyenough。

Perhapsit\'syourclothesthatmakeadifference。\'

`Youlikemynewsuit？Ihavetodressprettywellinmybusiness。\'

Shetookoffherjacketandsatmoreateaseinherblouse，ofsomesoft，flimsysilk。Shewasalreadyathomeinmyplace，hadslippedquietlyintoit，asshedidintoeverything。

Shetoldmeherbusinesswasgoingwell，andshehadsavedalittlemoney。

`ThissummerI\'mgoingtobuildthehouseformotherI\'vetalkedaboutsolong。Iwon\'tbeabletopayuponitatfirst，butIwanthertohaveitbeforesheistoooldtoenjoyit。

NextsummerI\'lltakeherdownnewfurnitureandcarpets，soshe\'llhavesomethingtolookforwardtoallwinter。\'

IwatchedLenasittingtheresosmoothandsunnyandwell-cared-for，andthoughtofhowsheusedtorunbarefootovertheprairieuntilafterthesnowbegantofly，andhowCrazyMarychasedherroundandroundthecornfields。

Itseemedtomewonderfulthatsheshouldhavegotonsowellintheworld。

Certainlyshehadnoonebutherselftothankforit。

`Youmustfeelproudofyourself，Lena，\'Isaidheartily。

`Lookatme；I\'veneverearnedadollar，andIdon\'tknowthatI\'lleverbeableto。\'

`Tonysaysyou\'regoingtobericherthanMr。Harlingsomeday。

She\'salwaysbraggingaboutyou，youknow。\'

`Tellme，howISTony？\'

`She\'sfine。SheworksforMrs。Gardeneratthehotelnow。

She\'shousekeeper。Mrs。Gardener\'shealthisn\'twhatitwas，andshecan\'tseeaftereverythinglikesheusedto。

ShehasgreatconfidenceinTony。Tony\'smadeitupwiththeHarlings，too。LittleNinaissofondofherthatMrs。Harlingkindofoverlookedthings。\'

`IsshestillgoingwithLarryDonovan？\'

`Oh，that\'son，worsethanever！Iguessthey\'reengaged。

Tonytalksabouthimlikehewaspresidentoftherailroad。

Everybodylaughsaboutit，becauseshewasneveragirltobesoft。

Shewon\'thearawordagainsthim。She\'ssosortofinnocent。\'

IsaidIdidn\'tlikeLarry，andneverwould。

Lena\'sfacedimpled。`Someofuscouldtellherthings，butitwouldn\'tdoanygood。She\'dalwaysbelievehim。

That\'sAntonia\'sfailing，youknow；ifsheoncelikespeople，shewon\'thearanythingagainstthem。\'

`IthinkI\'dbettergohomeandlookafterAntonia，\'Isaid。

`Ithinkyouhad。\'Lenalookedupatmeinfrankamusement。

`It\'sagoodthingtheHarlingsarefriendlywithheragain。

Larry\'safraidofthem。Theyshipsomuchgrain，theyhaveinfluencewiththerailroadpeople。Whatareyoustudying？\'

Sheleanedherelbowsonthetableanddrewmybooktowardher。

Icaughtafaintodourofvioletsachet。`Sothat\'sLatin，isit？

Itlookshard。Youdogotothetheatresometimes，though，forI\'veseenyouthere。Don\'tyoujustloveagoodplay，Jim？

Ican\'tstayathomeintheeveningifthere\'soneintown。

I\'dbewillingtoworklikeaslave，itseemstome，toliveinaplacewheretherearetheatres。\'

`Let\'sgotoashowtogethersometime。Youaregoingtoletmecometoseeyou，aren\'tyou？\'

`Wouldyouliketo？I\'dbeeversopleased。I\'mneverbusyaftersixo\'clock，andIletmysewinggirlsgoathalf-pastfive。

Iboard，tosavetime，butsometimesIcookachopformyself，andI\'dbegladtocookoneforyou。Well\'——shebegantoputonherwhitegloves——\'it\'sbeenawfulgoodtoseeyou，Jim。\'

`Youneedn\'thurry，needyou？You\'vehardlytoldmeanythingyet。\'

`Wecantalkwhenyoucometoseeme。Iexpectyoudon\'toftenhaveladyvisitors。Theoldwomandownstairsdidn\'twanttoletmecomeupverymuch。ItoldherIwasfromyourhometown，andhadpromisedyourgrandmothertocomeandseeyou。

HowsurprisedMrs。Burdenwouldbe！\'Lenalaughedsoftlyassherose。

WhenIcaughtupmyhat，sheshookherhead。

`No，Idon\'twantyoutogowithme。I\'mtomeetsomeSwedesatthedrugstore。Youwouldn\'tcareforthem。

IwantedtoseeyourroomsoIcouldwriteTonyallaboutit，butImusttellherhowIleftyourightherewithyourbooks。

She\'salwayssoafraidsomeonewillrunoffwithyou！\'

LenaslippedhersilksleevesintothejacketIheldforher，smootheditoverherperson，andbuttoneditslowly。

Iwalkedwithhertothedoor。`Comeandseemesometimeswhenyou\'relonesome。Butmaybeyouhaveallthefriendsyouwant。

Haveyou？\'Sheturnedhersoftcheektome。`Haveyou？\'

shewhisperedteasinglyinmyear。InamomentIwatchedherfadedowntheduskystairway。

WhenIturnedbacktomyroomtheplaceseemedmuchpleasanterthanbefore。

Lenahadleftsomethingwarmandfriendlyinthelamplight。

HowIlovedtohearherlaughagain！Itwassosoftandunexcitedandappreciativegaveafavourableinterpretationtoeverything。

WhenIclosedmyeyesIcouldhearthemalllaughing——theDanishlaundrygirlsandthethreeBohemianMarys。Lenahadbroughtthemallbacktome。

Itcameoverme，asithadneverdonebefore，therelationbetweengirlslikethoseandthepoetryofVirgil。Iftherewerenogirlslikethemintheworld，therewouldbenopoetry。Iunderstoodthatclearly，forthefirsttime。Thisrevelationseemedtomeinestimablyprecious。

Iclungtoitasifitmightsuddenlyvanish。

AsIsatdowntomybookatlast，myolddreamaboutLenacomingacrosstheharvest-fieldinhershortskirtseemedtomelikethememoryofanactualexperience。Itfloatedbeforemeonthepagelikeapicture，andunderneathitstoodthemournfulline:

\'Optimadies……primafugit。\'