第19章

SuddenlyBarbara,pointingtothefloor,cried:

"Oh！Granny,forHeaven\'ssake,standstill;haven\'tyousquashedthehornetenough,evenifhedidcomeinwherehehadn\'tanybusiness？"

LadyCasterleylookeddownatthedebrisoftheinsect。

"Disgusting！"shesaid;butwhenshenextspokeitwasinalesshard,morequerulousvoice。

"Thatman——whatwashisname——haveyougotridofhim？"

Barbarawentcrimson。

"Abusemyfriends,andIwillgostraighthomeandneverspeaktoyouagain。"

ForamomentLadyCasterleylookedalmostasifshemightstrikehergranddaughter;thenalittlesardonicsmilebrokeoutonherface。

"Acreditablesentiment！"shesaid。

Lettingfallheruncle\'shand,Barbaracried:

"Inanycase,I\'dbettergo。Idon\'tknowwhyyousentforme。"

LadyCasterleyansweredcoldly:

"Toletyouandyourmotherknowofthiswoman\'smostunselfishbehaviour;toputyouonthe\'quivive\'forwhatEustacemaydonow;

togiveyouachancetomakeupforyourfolly。Moreovertowarnyouagainst————"shepaused。

"Yes？"

"Letme————"interruptedLordDennis。

"No,UncleDennis,letGrannytakehershoe！"

Shehadwithdrawnagainstthewall,tall,andasitwere,formidable,withherheadup。LadyCasterleyremainedsilent。

"Haveyougotitready？"criedBarbara:"Unfortunatelyhe\'sflown！"

Avoicesaid:

"LordMiltoun。"

Hehadcomeinquietlyandquickly,precedingtheannouncement,andstoodalmosttouchingthatlittlegroupatthewindowbeforetheycaughtsightofhim。Hisfacehadtheratherghastlylookofsunburntfacesfromwhichemotionhasdriventheblood;andhiseyes,alwayssomuchthemostlivingpartofhim,werefullofsuchstabbinganger,thatinvoluntarilytheyalllookeddown。

"Iwanttospeaktoyoualone,"hesaidtoLadyCasterley。

Visibly,forperhapsthefirsttimeinherlife,thatindomitablelittlefigureflinched。LordDennisdrewBarbaraaway,butatthedoorhewhispered:

"Stayherequietly,Babs;Idon\'tlikethelookofthis。"

Unnoticed,Barbararemainedhovering。

Thetwovoices,low,andsofaroffinthelongwhiteroom,wereuncannilydistinct,emotionchargingeachwordwithpreternaturalpowerofpenetration;andeverymovementofthespeakershadtothegirl\'sexcitedeyesaweirdprecision,asoflittlefiguresshehadonceseenataParispuppetshow。ShecouldhearMiltounreproachinghisgrandmotherinwordsterriblydryandbitter。Sheedgednearerandnearer,till,seeingthattheypaidnomoreheedtoherthanifshewereanattendantstatue,shehadregainedherpositionbythewindow。

LadyCasterleywasspeaking。

"Iwasnotgoingtoseeyouruinedbeforemyeyes,Eustace。IdidwhatIdidatverygreatcost。Ididmybestforyou。"

BarbarasawMiltoun\'sfacetransfiguredbyadreadfulsmile——thesmileofonedefyinghistorturerwithhate。LadyCasterleywenton:

"Yes,youstandtherelookinglikeadevil。Hatemeifyoulike——butdon\'tbetrayus,moaningandmopingbecauseyoucan\'thavethemoon。

Putonyourarmour,andgodownintothebattle。Don\'tplaythecoward,boy！"

Miltoun\'sanswercutlikethelashofawhip。

"ByGod！Besilent！"

Andweirdly,therewassilence。Itwasnotthebrutalityofthewords,butthesightofforcesuddenlynakedofalldisguise——likeafiercedogletforamomentoffitschain——whichmadeBarbarautteralittledismayedsound。LadyCasterleyhaddroppedintoachair,trembling。AndwithoutalookMiltounpassedher。Iftheirgrandmotherhadfallendead,Barbaraknewhewouldnothavestoppedtosee。Sheranforward,buttheoldwomanwavedheraway。

"Goafterhim,"shesaid,"don\'tlethimgoalone。"

Andinfectedbythefearinthatwizenedvoice,Barbaraflew。

Shecaughtherbrotherashewasenteringthetaxi—cabinwhichhehadcome,andwithoutawordslippedinbesidehim。Thedriver\'sfaceappearedatthewindow,butMiltounonlymotionedwithhishead,asiftosay:Anywhere,awayfromhere！

ThethoughtflashedthroughBarbara:"IfonlyIcankeephiminherewithme！"

Sheleanedout,andsaidquietly:

"ToNettlefold,inSussex——nevermindyourpetrol——getmoreontheroad。Youcanhavewhatfareyoulike。Quick！"

Themanhesitated,lookedinherface,andsaid:

"Verywell;miss。ByDorking,ain\'tit？"

Barbaranodded。

CHAPTERXXVIII

TheclockoverthestableswaschimingsevenwhenMiltounandBarbarapassedoutofthetallirongates,intheirswift—movingsmallworld,thatsmelledfaintlyofpetrol。Thoughthecabwasclosed,lightspurtsofraindriftedinthroughtheopenwindows,refreshingthegirl\'shotface,relievingalittleherdreadofthisdrive。For,nowthatFatehadbeenreallycruel,nowthatitnolongerlayinMiltoun\'shandstosavehimselffromsuffering,herheartbledforhim;andsherememberedtoforgetherself。Theimmobilitywithwhichhehadreceivedherintrusion,wasominous。Andthoughsilentinhercorner,shewasdesperatelyworkingallherwoman\'switstodiscoverawayofbreakingintothehouseofhissecretmood。HeappearednoteventohavenoticedthattheyhadturnedtheirbacksonLondon,andpassedintoRichmondPark。

Herethetrees,madedarkbyrain,seemedtowatchgloomilytheprogressofthiswhirring—wheeledredbox,unreconciledevenyettosuchharshintrudersontheirwind—scentedtranquillity。Andthedeer,pursuinghappinessonthesweetgrasses,raiseddisquietednoses,aswhoshouldsay:Poisonersofthefern,defilersofthetrailsofair！

Barbaravaguelyfelttheserenityoutthereintheclouds,andthetrees,andwind。Ifitwouldbutcreepintothisdim,travellingprison,andhelpher;ifitwouldbutcome,likesleep,andstealawaydarksorrow,andinonemomentmakegrief—joy。Butitstayedoutsideonitswistfulwings;andthatgrandchasmwhichyawnsbetweensoulandsoulremainedunbridged。Forwhatcouldshesay？

Howmakehimspeakofwhathewasgoingtodo？Whatalternativesindeedwerenowbeforehim？Wouldhesullenlyresignhisseat,andwaittillhecouldfindAudreyNoelagain？Butevenifhedidfindher,theywouldonlybewheretheywere。Shehadgone,inordernottobeadragonhim——itwouldonlybethesamethingalloveragain！

Wouldhethen,asGrannyhadurgedhim,putonhisarmour,andgodownintothefight？Butthatindeedwouldmeantheend,forifshehadhadthestrengthtogoawaynow,shewouldsurelynevercomebackandbreakinonhislifeasecondtime。AndagrimthoughtswoopeddownonBarbara。Whatifheresignedeverything！Wentoutintothedark！Mendidsometimes——sheknew——caughtlikethisinthefullflushofpassion。ButsurelynotMiltoun,withhisfaith！\'Ifthelark\'ssongmeansnothing——ifthatskyisamorassofourinvention——

ifwearepettilycreepingon,furtheringnothing——persuademeofit,Babs,andI\'llblessyou。\'Buthadhestillthatanchorage,topreventhimslippingouttosea？Thissuddenthoughtofdeathtooneforwhomlifewasjoy,whohadneverevenseentheGreatStillness,wasveryterrifying。Shefixedhereyesonthebackofthechauffeur,inhisdrabcoatwiththeredcollar,findingsomecomfortinitssolidity。Theywereinataxi—cab,inRichmondPark！Death—

incongruous,incredibledeath！Itwasstupidtobefrightened！SheforcedherselftolookatMiltoun。Heseemedtobeasleep;hiseyeswereclosed,hisarmsfolded——onlyaquiveringofhiseyelidsbetrayedhim。Impossibletotellwhatwasgoingoninthatgrimwakingsleep,whichmadeherfeelthatshewasnotthereatall,soutterlydidheseemwithdrawnintohimself！

Heopenedhiseyes,andsaidsuddenly:

"SoyouthinkI\'mgoingtolayhandsonmyself,Babs？"

Horriblystartledbythisreadingofherthoughts,Barbaracouldonlyedgeawayandstammer:

"No;oh,no！"

"Wherearewegoinginthisthing？"

"Nettlefold。Wouldyoulikehimstopped？"

"Itwilldoaswellasanywhere。"

Terrifiedlestheshouldrelapseintothatgrimsilence,shetimidlypossessedherselfofhishand。

Itwasfastgrowingdark;thecab,havingleftthevillasofSurbitonbehind,wasflyingalongatgreatspeedamongpine—treesandstretchesofheathergloomywithfadeddaylight。

Miltounsaidpresently,inaqueer,slowvoice"IfIwant,Ihaveonlytoopenthatdoorandjump。Youwhobelievethat\'to—morrowwedie\'——givemethefaithtofeelthatIcanfreemyselfbythatjump,andoutIgo！"Then,seemingtopityherterrifiedsqueezeofhishand,headded:"It\'sallright,Babs;we,shallsleepcomfortablyenoughinourbedstonight。"

But,sodesolatetothegirlwashisvoice,thatshehopednowforsilence。

"Letusbeskinnedquietly,"mutteredMiltoun,"ifnothingelse。

Sorrytohavedisturbedyou。"

Pressingcloseuptohim,Barbaramurmured:

"Ifonly————Talktome！"。

ButMiltoun,thoughhestrokedherhand,wassilent。

Thecab,movingatunaccustomedspeedalongthesedesertedroads,moaneddismally;andBarbarawaspossessednowbyadesirewhichshedarednotputinpractice,topullhisheaddown,androckitagainsther。Herheartfeltempty,andtimid;tohavesomethingwarmrestingonitwouldhavemadeallthedifference。Everythingreal,substantial,comforting,seemedtohaveslippedaway。Amongtheseflyingdarkghostsofpine—trees——asitweretheunfrequentedborderlandbetweentwoworlds——thefeelingofacheekagainstherbreastalonecouldhelpmufflethedeepdisquietinher,lostlikeachildinawood。

Thecabslackenedspeed,thedriverwaslightinghislamps;andhisredfaceappearedatthewindow。

"We\'ll\'avetostophere,miss;I\'moutofpetrol。Willyougetsomedinner,orgothrough？"

"Through,"answeredBarbara:

Whiletheywerepassingthelittletheir,buyingthenpetrol,askingtheway,shefeltlessmiserable,andevenlookedaboutherwithasortofeagerness。Thenwhentheyhadstartedagain,shethought:IfIcouldgethimtosleep——theseawillcomforthim！Buthiseyeswerestaring,wide—open。Shefeignedsleepherself;lettingherheadslipalittletooneside,causingsmallsoundsofbreathingtoescape。Thewhirringofthewheels,themoaningofthecabjoints,thedarktreesslippingby,thescentofthewetferndriftingin,allthesemustsurelyhelp！Andpresentlyshefeltthathewasindeedslippingintodarkness——andthen—shefeltnothing。

WhensheawokefromthesleepintowhichshehadseenMiltounfall,thecabwasslowlymountingasteephill,abovewhichthemoonhadrisen。Theairsmelledstrongandsweet,asthoughithadpassedoverleaguesofgrass。

"TheDowns！"shethought;"Imusthavebeenasleep！"

Insuddenterror,shelookedroundforMiltoun。Buthewasstillthere,exactlyasbefore,leaningbackrigidinhiscornerofthecab,withstaringeyes,andnoothersignsoflife。Andstillonlyhalfawake,likeagreatwarmsleepychildstartledoutoftoodeepslumber,sheclutched,andclungtohim。Thethoughtthathehadbeensittinglikethat,withhisspiritfaraway,allthetimethatshehadbeenbetrayingherwatchinsleep,wasdreadful。Buttoherembracetherewasnoresponse,andawakeindeednow,ashamed,sore,Barbarareleasedhim,andturnedherfacetotheair。

Outthere,twothin,dense—black,longclouds,shapedlikethewingsofahawk,hadjoinedthemselvestogether,sothatnothingofthemoonshowedbutalivingbrightnessimprisoned,liketheeyesandlifeofabird,betweenthoseswiftsweepsofdarkness。Thisgreatuncannyspirit,broodingmalevolentoverthehighleaguesofmoon—wangrass,seemedwaitingtoswoop,andpluckupinitstalons,anddevour,allthatintrudedonthewildlonenessofthesefar—upplainsoffreedom。Barbaraalmostexpectedtohearcomingfromitthelostwhistleofthebuzzardhawks。Andherdreamcamebacktoher。Wherewereherwings—thewingsthatinsleephadbornehertothestars;

thewingsthatwouldneverlifther——waking——fromtheground？WheretoowereMiltoun\'swings？Shecrouchedbackintohercorner;atearstoleupandtrickledoutbetweenherclosedlids—anotherandanotherfollowed。Fasterandfastertheycame。ThenshefeltMiltoun\'sarmroundher,andheardhimsay:"Don\'tcry,Babs！"Instincttellingherwhattodo,shelaidherheadagainsthischest,andsobbedbitterly。Strugglingwiththosesobs,shegrewlessandlessunhappy——knowingthathecouldneveragainfeelquitesodesolate,asbeforehetriedtogivehercomfort。Itwasallabaddream,andtheywouldsoonwakefromit！Andtheywouldbehappy;ashappyastheyhadbeenbefore——beforetheselastmonths！Andshewhispered:

"Onlyalittlewhile,Eusty！"

CHAPTERXXIX

OldLadyHarbingerdyingintheearlyFebruaryofthefollowingyear,themarriageofBarbarawithhersonwaspostponedtillJune。

MuchofthewildsweetnessofSpringstillclungtothehighmoorbordersofMonklandontheearlymorningoftheweddingday。

Barbarawasalreadyupanddressedforridingwhenhermaidcametocallher;andnotingStacey\'sastonishedeyesfixthemselvesonherboots,shesaid:

"Well,Stacey？"

"It\'lltireyou。"

"Nonsense;I\'mnotgoingtobehung。"

Refusingthecompanyofagroom,shemadeherwaytowardsthestretchofhighmoorwhereshehadriddenwithCourtierayearago。Hereovertheshort,asyetunflowering,heather,therewasamileormoreoflevelgallopingground。Shemountedsteadily,andherspiritrode,asitwere,beforeher,longingtogetupthereamongthepeewitsandcurlew,tofeelthecrisp,peatyearthslipawayunderher,andthewinddriveinherface,underthatdeepbluesky。

Carriedbythiswarm—bloodedsweetheartofhers,readytojumpoutofhissmoothhidewithpleasure,snufflingandsneezinginsheerjoy,whoseeyeshecouldseestrayingroundtocatchaglimpseofherintentions,fromwhoselipsshecouldhearissuingthesweetbitt—

music,whosevagariesevenseemeddesignedtostartlefromheracloserembracing——shewasfilledwithasortofdeliciousimpatiencewitheverythingthatwasnotthisperfectcommuningwithvigour。

Reachingthetop,sheputhimintoagallop。Withthewindfuriouslyassailingherfaceandthroat,everymusclecrisped;andallherbloodtingling——thiswasaveryecstasyofmotion！

ShereinedinatthecairnwhencesheandCourtierhadlookeddownattheherdsofponies。Itwasthemerestmemorynow,vagueandalittlesweet,liketheremembranceofsomeexceptionalSpringday,whentreesseemtoflowerbeforeyoureyes,andinsheerwantonnessexhaleascentoflemons。Theponiesweretherestill,andindistancetheshiningsea。Shesatthinkingofnothing,buthowgooditwastobealive。Thefullnessandsweetnessofitall,thefreedomandstrength！AwaytotheWestoveralonelyfarmshecouldseetwobuzzardhawkshuntinginwidecircles。Shedidnotenvythem——sohappywasshe,ashappyasthemorning。Andtherecametohersuddenlythetrue,theovermasteringlongingofmountaintops。

"Imust,"shethought;"Isimplymust！"

Slippingoffherhorseshelaydownonherback,andatonceeverythingwaslostexceptthesky。Overherbody,supportedabovesolidearthbythewarm,softheather,thewindskimmedwithoutsoundortouch。Herspiritbecameonewiththatcalmunimaginablefreedom。

Transportedbeyondherowncontentment,shenolongerevenknewwhethershewasjoyful。

ThehorseHal,attemptingtoeathersleeve,arousedher。Shemountedhim,androdedown。Nearhomeshetookashortcutacrossameadow,throughwhichflowedtwothinbrightstreams,formingadeltafulloflingering\'milkmaids,\'mauvemarshorchis,andyellowflags。

>Fromendtoendofthislongmeadow,sovaried,sopiedwithtreesandstones,andflowers,andwater,thelastoftheSpringwaspassing。

Someponies,shylycuriousofBarbaraandherhorse,stoleup,andstoodatasafedistance,withtheirnosesdubiouslystretchedout,swishingtheirleantails。Andsuddenly,farup,followingtheirownmusic,twocuckoosflewacross,seekingthethorn—treesoutonthemoor。Whileshewaswatchingthearrowybirds,shecaughtsightofsomeonecomingtowardsherfromaclumpofbeech—trees,andsuddenlysawthatitwasMrs。Noel！

Sherodeforward,flushing。Whatdaredshesay？Couldshespeakofherwedding,andbetrayMiltoun\'spresence？Couldsheopenhermouthatallwithoutrousingpainfulfeelingofsomesort？Then,impatientofindecision,shebegan:

"I\'msogladtoseeyouagain。Ididn\'tknowyouwerestilldownhere。"

"IonlycamebacktoEnglandyesterday,andI\'mjustheretoseetothepackingofmythings。"

"Oh！"murmuredBarbara。"Youknowwhat\'shappeningtome,I

suppose？"

Mrs。Noelsmiled,lookedup,andsaid:"Iheardlastnight。Alljoytoyou！"

AlumproseinBarbara\'sthroat。

"I\'msogladtohaveseenyou,"shemurmuredoncemore;"IexpectI

oughttobegettingon,"andwiththeword"Good—bye,"gentlyechoed,sherodeaway。

Buthermoodofdelightwasgone;eventhehorseHalseemedtotreadunevenly,forallthathewasgoingbacktothatstablewhicheverappearedtohimdesirabletenminutesafterhehadleftit。

Exceptthathereyesseemeddarker,Mrs。Noelhadnotchanged。Ifshehadshownthefaintestsignofself—pity,thegirlwouldneverhavefelt,asshedidnow,sosorryandupset。

Leavingthestables,shesawthatthewindwasdrivingupahuge,white,shiningcloud。"Isn\'titgoingtobefineafterall！"shethought。

Re—enteringthehousebyanoldandso—calledsecretstairwaythatledstraighttothelibrary,shehadtotraversethatgreatdarkroom。There,buriedinanarmchairinfrontofthehearthshesawMiltounwithabookonhisknee,notreading,butlookingupatthepictureoftheoldCardinal。Shehurriedon,tiptoeingoverthe。

softcarpet,holdingherbreath,fearfulofdisturbingthequeerinterview,feelingguilty,too,ofhernewknowledge,whichshedidnotmeantoimpart。Shehadburntherfingersonceattheflamebetweenthem;shewouldnotdosoasecondtime！

Throughthewindowatthefarendshesawthatthecloudhadburst;

itwasrainingfuriously。Sheregainedherbedroomunseen。Inspiteofherjoyoutthereonthemoor,thislastadventureofhergirlhoodhadnotbeenallsuccess;shehadagaintheoldsensations,theolddoubts,thedissatisfactionwhichshehadthoughtdead。Thosetwo！

Toshutone\'seyes,andbehappy——wasitpossible！Agreatrainbow,thenearestshehadeverseen,hadsprungupinthepark,andwascometoearthagaininsomefieldscloseby。Thesunwasshiningoutalreadythroughthewind—drivenbrightrain。Jewelsofbluehadbeguntostartheblackandwhiteandgoldenclouds。Astrangewhitelight—ghostofSpringpassinginthislastviolentoutburst—paintedtheleavesofeverytree;andahundredsavagehueshadcomedownlikeamotleyofbrightbirdsonmoorandfields。

ThemomentofdesperatebeautycaughtBarbarabythethroat。Itsspiritofgallopingwildnessflewstraightintoherheart。Sheclaspedherhandsacrossherbreasttotryandkeepthatmoment。Farout,acuckoohooted—andtheimmortalcallpassedonthewind。Inthatcallallthebeauty,andcolour,andraptureoflifeseemedtobeflyingby。Ifshecouldonlyseizeandevermorehaveitinherheart,asthebuttercupsoutthereimprisonedthesun,orthefallenraindropsonthesweetbriarsroundthewindowsenclosedallchanginglight！Ifonlytherewerenochains,nowalls,andfinalityweredead！

Herclockstruckten。Atthistimeto—morrow！Hercheeksturnedhot;inamirrorshecouldseethemburning,herlipsscornfullycurved,hereyesstrange。Standingthere,shelookedlongatherself,till,littlebylittle,herfacelosteveryvestigeofthatdisturbance,becamesolidandresoluteagain。Sheceasedtohavethegallopingwildfeelinginherheart,andinsteadfeltcold。Detachedfromherselfshewatched,withcontentment,herowncalmandradiantbeautyresumethearmourithadforthatmomentputoff。

Afterdinnerthatnight,whenthemenleftthedining—hall,Miltounslippedawaytohisden。Ofallthosepresentinthelittlechurchhehadseemedmostunemotional,andhadbeenmostmoved。Thoughithadbeensoquietandprivateawedding,hehadresentedallcheapfestivityaccompanyingthepassingofhisyoungsister。HewouldhavehadthatceremonyinthelittledarkdisusedchapelattheCourt;thosetwo,andthepriestalone。Here,inthishalf—paganlittlecountrychurchsmotheredhastilyinflowers,withtherawsingingofthehalf—paganchoir,andallthevillagecuriosityandhomage—everythinghadjarred,andthestaleaftermathsickenedhim。

Changinghisswallow—tailtoanoldsmokingjacket,hewentoutontothelawn。Inthewidedarknesshecouldridhimselfofhisexasperation。

SincethedayofhiselectionhehadnotoncebeenatMonkland;sinceMrs。Noel\'sflighthehadneverleftLondon。InLondonandworkhehadburiedhimself;byLondonandworkhehadsavedhimself！Hehadgonedownintothebattle。

Dewhadnotyetfallen,andhetookthepathacrossthefields。

Therewasnomoon,nostars,nowind;thecattlewerenoiselessunderthetrees;therewerenoowlscalling,nonight—jarschurring,thefly—by—nightchaferswerenotabroad。Thestreamalonewasaliveinthequietdarkness。AndasMiltounfollowedthewispylineofgreypathcleavingthedimglamourofdaisiesandbuttercups,therecametohimthefeelingthathewasinthepresence,notofsleep,butofeternalwaiting。Thesoundofhisfootfallsseemeddesecration。Sodevotionalwasthathush,burningthespicyincenseofmillionsofleavesandbladesofgrass。

Crossingthelaststilehecameout,closetoherdesertedcottage,underherlime—tree,whichonthenightofCourtier\'sadventurehadhungblue—blackroundthemoon。Onthatside,onlyarail,andafewshrubsconfinedhergarden。

Thehousewasalldark,butthemanytallwhiteflowers,likeabrightvapourrisingfromearth,clungtotheairabovethebeds。

LeaningagainstthetreeMiltoungavehimselftomemory。

>Fromthesilentboughswhichdroopedroundhisdarkfigure,alittlesleepybirdutteredafaintcheep;ahedgehog,orsomesmallbeastofnight,rustledawayinthegrasscloseby;amothflewpast,seekingitscandleflame。AndsomethinginMiltoun\'shearttookwingsafterit,searchingforthewarmthandlightofhisblowncandleoflove。

Then,inthehushheheardasoundasofabranchceaselesslytrailedthroughlonggrass,fainterandfainter,moreandmoredistinct;

againfainter;butnothingcouldheseethatshouldmakethathomelesssound。Andthesenseofsomenearbutunseenpresencecreptonhim,tillthehairmovedonhisscalp。IfGodwouldlightthemoonorstars,andlethimsee！IfGodwouldendtheexpectationofthisnight,letonewanglimmerdownintohergarden,andonewanglimmerintohisbreast！Butitstayeddark,andthehomelessnoiseneverceased。TheweirdthoughtcametoMiltounthatitwasmadebyhisownheart,wanderingoutthere,tryingtofeelwarmagain。Heclosedhiseyesandatonceknewthatitwasnothisheart,butindeedsomeexternalpresence,unconsoled。Andstretchinghishandsouthemovedforwardtoarrestthatsound。Ashereachedtherailing,itceased。Andhesawaflameleapup,apalebroadpathwayoflightblanchingthegrass。

And,realizingthatshewasthere,within,hegasped。Hisfinger—

nailsbentandbrokeagainsttheironrailingwithouthisknowing。

Itwasnotasonthatnightwhentheredflowersonherwindowsillhadwaftedtheirscenttohim;itwasnosheeroverpoweringrushofpassion。Profounder,moreterrible,wasthisrisingupwithinhimofyearningforlove——asif,nowdefeated,itwouldnevermorestir,butliedeadonthatdarkgrassbeneaththosedarkboughs。Andifvictorious——whatthen？Hestolebackunderthetree。

Hecouldseelittlewhitemothstravellingdownthatpathoflamplight;hecouldseethewhiteflowersquiteplainlynow,apalewatchofblossomsguardingthedarksleepyones;andhestood,notreasoning,hardlyanylongerfeeling;stunned,batteredbystruggle。

Hisfaceandhandswerestickywiththehoney—dew,slowly,invisiblydistillingfromthelime—tree。Hebentdownandfeltthegrass。Andsuddenlytherecameoverhimthecertaintyofherpresence。Yes,shewasthere——outontheverandah！Hecouldseeherwhitefigurefromheadtofoot;and,notrealizingthatshecouldnotseehim,heexpectedhertouttersomecry。Butnosoundcamefromher,nogesture;sheturnedbackintothehouse。Miltounranforwardtotherailing。Butthere,oncemore,hestopped——unabletothink,unabletofeel;asitwereabandonedbyhimself。Andhesuddenlyfoundhishandupathismouth,asthoughtherewerebloodtheretobestaunchedthathadescapedfromhisheart。

Stillholdingthathandbeforehismouth,andsmotheringthesoundofhisfeetinthelonggrass,hecreptaway。

CHAPTERXXX

InthegreatglasshouseatRavensham,LadyCasterleystoodclosetosomeJapaneselilies,withaletterinherhand。Herfacewasverywhite,foritwasthefirstdayshehadbeenalloweddownafteranattackofinfluenza;norhadthehandinwhichsheheldtheletteritsusualsteadiness。Sheread:

"MONKLANDCOURT。

"Justaline,dear,beforethepostgoes,totellyouthatBabshasgoneoffhappily。Thechildlookedbeautiful。Shesentyouherlove,andsomeabsurdmessage——thatyouwouldbegladtohear,shewasperfectlysafe,withbothfeetfirmlyontheground。"

AgrimlittlesmileplayedonLadyCasterley\'spalelips:—Yes,indeed,andtimetoo！Thechildhadbeenveryneartheedgeofthecliffs！Verynearcommittingapieceofromanticfolly！Thatwaswellover！Andraisingtheletteragain,shereadon:

"Wewerealldownforit,ofcourse,andcomebacktomorrow。

Geoffreyisquitecutup。Thingscan\'tbewhattheywerewithoutourBabs。I\'vewatchedEustaceverycarefully,andIreallybelievehe\'ssafelyoverthataffairatlast。HeisdoingextraordinarilywellintheHousejustnow。GeoffreysayshisspeechonthePoorLawwasheadandshouldersthebestmade。"

LadyCasterleyletfallthehandwhichheldtheletter。Safe？Yes,hewassafe！Hehaddonetheright——thenaturalthing！Andintimehewouldbehappy！Hewouldrisenowtothatpinnacleofdesiredauthoritywhichshehaddreamedofforhim,eversincehewasatinything,eversincehislittlethinbrownhandhadclaspedhersintheirwanderingsamongsttheflowers,andthefurnitureoftallrooms。But,asshestood——crumplingtheletter,grey—whiteassomesmallresoluteghost,amonghertallliliesthatfilledwiththeirscentthegreatglasshouse—shadowsflittedacrossherface。Wasitthefugitivenoonsunshine？OrwasitsomeglimmeringperceptionoftheoldGreeksaying——\'CharacterisFate;\'somesuddensenseoftheuniversaltruththatallareinbondtotheirownnatures,andwhatamanhasmostdesiredshallintheendenslavehim？