第16章

PoorEustace！Whydidhetakethingssohardly？Ifhereallycarriedouthisresolve——andheneverchangedhismind——itwouldbetragic！Itwouldmeantheendofeverythingforhim！

PerhapsnowhewouldgettiredofMrs。Noel。Butshewasnotthesortofwomanamanwouldgettiredof。EvenBarbarainherinexperiencefeltthat。Shewouldalwaysbetoodelicatelycarefulnevertocloyhim,nevertoexactanythingfromhim,orlethimfeelthathewasboundtoherbysomuchasahair。Ah！whycouldn\'ttheygoonasifnothinghadhappened？Couldnobodypersuadehim？ShethoughtagainofCourtier。Ifhe,whoknewthemboth,andwassofondofMrs。Noel,wouldtalktoMiltoun,abouttherighttobehappy,therighttorevolt？Eustaceoughttorevolt！Itwashisduty。Shesatdowntowrite;then,puttingonherhat,tookthenoteandslippeddownstairs。

CHAPTERXIX

TheflowersofsummerinthegreatglasshouseatRavenshamwerekeepingthelastafternoon—watchwhenCliftonsummonedLadyCasterleywiththewords:

"LadyValleysinthewhiteroom。"

SincethenewsofMiltoun\'sillness,andofMrs。Noel\'snursing,thelittleoldladyhadpossessedhersoulinpatience;often,itistrue,afflictedwithpoignantmisgivingsastothisnewinfluenceinthelifeofherfavourite,affectedtoobyasortofjealousy,nottobeadmitted,eveninherprayers,which,thoughregularenough,wereperhapssomewhatformal。Havingsmalllikingnowforleavinghome,evenforCatton,hercountryplace,shewasstillatRavensham,whereLordDennishadcomeuptostaywithherassoonasMiltounhadleftSeaHouse。ButLadyCasterleywasneververydependentoncompany。

Sheretainedunimpairedherintenseinterestinpolitics,andstillcorrespondedfreelywithprominentmen。Oflate,too,aslightrevivaloftheJunewarscarehadmadeitsmarkonherinacertainrejuvenescence,whichalwaysaccompaniedhercontemplationofnationalcrises,evenwhensuchwerealittleintheair。Atblastoftrumpetherspiritstillleapedforward,unsheatheditssword,andstoodatthesalute。Atsuchtimes,sheroseearlier,wenttobedlater,wasfarlesssusceptibletodraughts,andrefusedwithasperityanyfoodbetweenmeals。Shewrotetoowithherownhandletterswhichshewouldotherwisehavedictatedtohersecretary。

Unfortunatelythescarehaddieddownagainalmostatonce;andthepassingofdangeralwaysleftherratherirritable。LadyValleys\'

visitcameasatimelyconsolation。

Shekissedherdaughtercritically;fortherewasthatabouthermannerwhichshedidnotlike。

"Yes,ofcourseIamwell！"shesaid。"Whydidn\'tyoubringBarbara？"

"Shewastired！"

"H\'m！Afraidofmeetingme,sinceshecommittedthatpieceoffollyoverEustace。Youmustbecarefulofthatchild,Gertrude,orshewillbedoingsomethingsillyherself。Idon\'tlikethewayshekeepsClaudHarbingerhanginginthewind。"

Herdaughtercuthershort:

"ThereisbadnewsaboutEustace。"

LadyCasterleylostthelittlecolourinhercheeks;lost,too,allhersuperfluityofirritableenergy。

"Tellme,atonce！"

Havingheard,shesaidnothing;butLadyValleysnoticedwithalarmthatoverhereyeshadcomesuddenlythepeculiarfilminessofage。

"Well,whatdoyouadvise？"sheasked。

Herselftired,andtroubled,shewasconsciousofaquiteunwontedfeelingofdiscouragementbeforethissilentlittlefigure,inthesilentwhiteroom。ShehadneverbeforeseenhermotherlookasifsheheardDefeatpassingonitsdarkwings。Andmovedbysuddentendernessforthelittlefrailbodythathadbornehersolongago,shemurmuredalmostwithsurprise:

"Mother,dear！"

"Yes,"saidLadyCasterley,asifspeakingtoherself,"theboysavesthingsup;hestoreshisfeelings——theyburstandsweephimaway。

Firsthispassion;nowhisconscience。Therearetwomeninhim;butthiswillbethedeathofoneofthem。"Andsuddenlyturningonherdaughter,shesaid:

"DidyoueverhearabouthimatOxford,Gertrude？Hebrokeoutonce,andatehuskswiththeGadarenes。Youneverknew。Ofcourse——youneverhaveknownanythingofhim。"

ResentmentroseinLadyValleys,thatanyoneshouldknewhersonbetterthanherself;butshelostitagainlookingatthelittlefigure,andsaid,sighing:

"Well？"

LadyCasterleymurmured:

"Goaway,child;Imustthink。Yousayhe\'stoconsult\'Dennis？Doyouknowheraddress？AskBarbarawhenyougetbackandtelephoneittome。Andatherdaughter\'skiss,sheaddedgrimly:

"Ishalllivetoseehiminthesaddleyet,thoughIamseventy—

eight。"

Whenthesoundofherdaughter\'scarhaddied:away,sherangthebell。

"IfLadyValleysringsup,Clifton,don\'ttakethemessage,butcallme。"AndseeingthatCliftondidnotmovesheaddedsharply:"Well？"

"Thereisnobadnewsofhisyounglordship\'shealth,Ihope？"

"No。"

"Forgiveme,mylady,butIhavehaditonmymindforsometimetoaskyousomething。"

Andtheoldmanraisedhishandwithapeculiardignity,seemingtosay:YouwillexcusemethatforthemomentIamahumanbeingspeakingtoahumanbeing。

"Thematterofhisattachment,"hewenton,"isknowntome;ithasgivenmeacuteanxiety,knowinghislordshipasIdo,andhavingheardhimsaysomethingsingularwhenhewashereinJuly。Ishouldbegratefulifyouwouldassure——methatthereistobenohitchinhiscareer,mylady。"

TheexpressiononLadyCasterley\'sfacewasstrangelycompoundedofsurprise,kindliness,defence,andimpatienceaswithachild。

"NotifIcanpreventit,Clifton,"shesaidshortly;"infact,youneednotconcernyourself。"

Cliftonbowed。

"Excusemementioningit,mylady;"aquiverranoverhisfacebetweenitslongwhitewhiskers,"buthisyounglordship\'scareerismoretomethanmyown。"

Whenhehadlefther,LadyCasterleysatdowninalittlelowchair——

longshesattherebytheemptyhearth,tillthedaylight,wasallgone。

CHAPTERXX

Notfarfromthedark—haloedindeterminatelimbowheredweltthatbugbearofCharlesCourtier,thegreatHalf—TruthAuthority,hehimselfhadacoupleofroomsatfifteenshillingsaweek。TheirchiefattractionwasthatthegreatHalf—TruthLibertyhadrecommendedthem。Theytiedhimtonothing,andwereeverathisdisposalwhenhewasinLondon;forhislandlady,thoughnotboundbyagreementsotodo,lettheminsuchaway,thatshecouldturnanyoneelseoutataweek\'snotice。Shewasagentlesoul,marriedtoasocialisticplumbertwentyyearshersenior。Theworthymanhadgivenhertwolittleboys,andthethreeofthemkeptherinsuchpermanentorderthattobeinthepresenceofCourtierwasthegreatestpleasuresheknew。Whenhedisappearedononeofhisnomadicmissions,explorations,oradventures,sheenclosedthewholeofhisbelongingsintwotintrunksandplacedtheminacupboardwhichsmelledalittleofmice。Whenhereappearedthetrunkswerereopened,andapowerfulscentofdriedrose—leaveswouldescape。

For,recognizingthemortalityofthingshuman,sheprocuredeverysummerfromhersister,thewifeofamarketgardener,aconsignmentofthiscommodity,whichshepassionatelysewedupinbags,andcontinuedtodeposityearbyyear,inCourtier\'strunks。

This,andthewayshemadehistoast——verycrisp——andairedhislinen——verydry,werepracticallytheonlythingsshecoulddoforamannaturallyinclinedtoindependence,andaccustomedfromhismanneroflifetofendforhimself。

Atfirstsignsofhisdepartureshewouldgointosomeclosetorother,awayfromtheplumberandthetwomarksofhisaffection,andcryquietly;butneverinCourtier\'spresencedidshedreamofmanifestinggrief——assoonweepinthepresenceofdeathorbirth,oranyotherfundamentaltragedyorjoy。Infaceoftherealitiesoflifeshehadknownfromheryouthupthevalueofthesimpleverb\'sto——stare—tostandfast。\'

AndtoherCourtierwasareality,thechiefrealityoflife,thefocusofheraspiration,themorningandtheeveningstar。

Therequest,thenfivedaysafterhisfarewellvisittoMrs。Noel——

fortheelephant—hidetrunkwhichaccompaniedhisrovings,producedherhabitualperiodofseclusion,followedbyherhabitualappearanceinhissitting—roombearinganote,andsomebagsofdriedrose——

leavesonatray。Shefoundhiminhisshirtsleeves,packing。

"Well,Mrs。Benton;offagain！"

Mrs。Benton,plaitingherhands,forshehadnotyetlostsomethingofthelookandmannerofalittlegirl,answeredinherflat,butserenevoice:

"Yes,sir;andIhopeyou\'renotgoinganywhereverydangerousthistime。Ialwaysthinkyougotosuchdangerousplaces。"

"ToPersia,Mrs。Benton,wherethecarpetscomefrom。"

"Oh！yes,sir。Yourwashing\'sjustcomehome。"

Her,apparentlycast—down,eyesstoredupawealthoflittledetails;

thewayhishairgrew,thesetofhisback,thecolourofhisbraces。

Butsuddenlyshesaidinasurprisingvoice:

"Youhaven\'taphotographyoucouldspare,sir,toleavebehind？Mr。

Bentonwasonlysayingtomeyesterday,we\'venothingtorememberhimby,incaseheshouldn\'tcomeback。"

"Here\'sanoldone。"

Mrs。Bentontookthephotograph。

"Oh！"shesaid;"youcanseewhoitis。"Andholdingitperhapstootightly,forherfingerstrembled,sheadded:

"Anote,please,sir;andthemessengerboyiswaitingfor——ananswer。"

Whilehereadthenoteshenoticedwithconcernhowpackinghadbroughtthebloodintohishead……

When,inresponsetothatnote,Courtierenteredthewell—knownconfectioner\'scalledGustard\'s,itwasstillnotquitetea—time,andthereseemedtohimatfirstnooneintheroomsavethreemiddle—

agedwomenpackingsweets;theninthecornerhesawBarbara。Thebloodwasnolongerinhishead;hewaspale,walkingdownthatmahogany—colouredroomimpregnatedwiththescentofwedding—cake。

Barbara,too,waspale。

Soclosetoherthathecouldcounthereveryeyelash,andinhalethescentofherhairandclothestolistentoherstoryofMiltoun,sohesitatingly,sowistfullytold,seemedverylikebeingkeptwaitingwiththeropealreadyroundhisneck,tohearaboutanotherperson\'stoothache。HefeltthistohavebeenunnecessaryonthepartofFate！Andtherecametohimperverselythememoryofthatrideoverthesun—warmedheather,whenhehadparaphrasedtheoldSiciliansong:\'HerewillIsitandsing。\'Hewasalongwayfromsingingnow;norwasthereloveinhisarms。Therewasinsteadacupoftea;

andinhisnostrilsthescentofcake,withnowandthenawhiffoforange—flowerwater。

"Isee,"hesaid,whenshehadfinishedtellinghim:"\'Liberty\'sagloriousfeast！\'Youwantmetogotoyourbrother,andquoteBums？

Youknow,ofcourse,thatheregardsmeasdangerous。"

"Yes;butherespectsandlikesyou。"

"AndIrespectandlikehim,"answeredCourtier。

Oneofthemiddle—agedfemalespassed,carryingalargewhitecard—

boardbox;andthecreakingofherstaysbrokethehush。

"Youhavebeenverysweettome,"saidBarbara,suddenly。

Courtier\'sheartstirred,asifitwereturningoverwithinhim;andgazingintohisteacup,heanswered"Allmenaredecenttotheeveningstar。Iwillgoatonceandfindyourbrother。WhenshallIbringyounews？"

"To—morrowatfiveI\'llbeathome。"

Andrepeating,"To—morrowatfive,"herose。

Lookingbackfromthedoor,hesawherfacepuzzled,ratherreproachful,andwentoutgloomily。Thescentofcake,andorange—

flowerwater,thecreakingofthefemale\'sstays,thecolourofmahogany,stillclungtohisnoseandears,andeyes;butwithinhimitwasalldullbaffledrage。Whyhadhenotmadethemostofthisunexpectedchance;whyhadhenotmadedesperatelovetoher？A

conscientiousass！Andyet——thewholethingwasabsurd！Shewassoyoung！Godknewhewouldbegladtobeoutofit。Ifhestayedhewasafraidthathewouldplaythefool。Butthememoryofherwords:

"Youhavebeenverysweettome！"wouldnotleavehim;northememoryofherface,sopuzzled,andreproachful。Yes,ifhestayedhewouldplaythefool！Hewouldbeaskinghertomarryamandoubleherage,ofnopositionbutthatwhichhehadcarvedforhimself,andwithoutarap。Andhewouldbeaskingherinsuchawaythatshemightpossiblyhavesomelittledifficultyinrefusing。Hewouldbelettinghimselfgo。Andshewasonlytwenty——forallherwoman—of—

the—worldair,achild！No！Hewouldbeusefultoher,ifpossible,thisonce,andthenclearout！

CHAPTERXXI

WhenMiltounleftValleysHousehewalkedinthedirectionofWestminster。DuringthefivedaysthathehadbeenbackinLondonhehadnotyetenteredtheHouseofCommons。Aftertheseclusionofhisillness,hestillfeltayearning,almostpainful,towardsthemovementandstirofthetown。Everythingheheardandsawmadeanintenselyvividimpression。ThelionsinTrafalgarSquare,thegreatbuildingsofWhitehall,filledhimwithasortofexultation。Hewaslikeaman,who,afteralongseavoyage,firstcatchessightofland,andstandsstraininghiseyes,hardlybreathing,takinginonebyonethelostfeaturesofthatface。HewalkedontoWestminsterBridge,andgoingtoanembrasureintheverycentre,lookedbacktowardsthetowers。

Itwassaidthattheloveofthosetowerspassedintotheblood。Itwassaidthathewhohadsatbeneaththemcouldneveragainbequitethesame。Miltounknewthatitwastrue——desperatelytrue,ofhimself。Inpersonhehadsattherebutthreeweeks,butinsoulheseemedtohavebeensittingtherehundredsofyears。Andnowhewouldsittherenomore！Analmostfranticdesiretofreehimselffromthiscoilroseupwithinhim。Tobeheldaprisonerbythatmostsecretofallhisinstincts,theinstinctforauthority！Tobeunabletowieldauthoritybecausetowieldauthoritywastoinsultauthority。God！Itwashard！Heturnedhisbackonthetowers;andsoughtdistractioninthefacesofthepassers—by。

Eachofthese,heknew,hadhisstruggletokeepself—respect！Orwasitthattheywereunconsciousofstruggleorofself—respect,andjustletthingsdrift？Theylookedlikethat,mostofthem！Andallhisinherentcontemptfortheaverageorcommonwelledupashewatchedthem。Yes,theylookedlikethat！Ironically,thesightofthosefromwhomhehaddesiredthecomfortofcompromise,servedinsteadtostimulatethatpartofhimwhichrefusedtolethimcompromise。Theylookedsoft,soggy,withoutprideorwill,asthoughtheyknewthatlifewastoomuchforthem,andhadshamefullyacceptedthefact。Theysoobviouslyneededtobetoldwhattheymightdo,andwhichwaytheyshould,go;theywouldacceptordersastheyacceptedtheirwork,orpleasures:Andthethoughtthathewasnowdebarredfromtherighttogivethemorders,rankledinhimfuriously。They,intheirturn,glancedcasuallyathistallfigureleaningagainsttheparapet,notknowinghowtheirfatewastremblinginthebalance。Histhin,sallowface,andhungryeyesgaveoneortwoofthemperhapsafeelingofinterestordiscomfort;buttomosthewasassuredlynomorethananyothermanorwomaninthehurly—

burly。Thatdarkfigureofconsciouspowerstrugglinginthefettersofitsownbeliefinpower,wasapieceofsculpturetheyhadneithertimenorwishtounderstand,havingnotastefortragedy——forwitnessingthehumanspiritdriventothewall。

Itwasfiveo\'clockbeforeMiltounlefttheBridge,andpassed,likeanexile,beforethegatesofChurchandState,onhiswaytohisuncle\'sClub。HestoppedtotelegraphtoAudreythetimehewouldbecomingto—morrowafternoon;andonleavingthePost—Office,noticedinthewindowoftheadjoiningshopsomereproductionsofoldItalianmasterpieces,amongstthemoneofBotticelli\'s\'BirthofVenus。\'Hehadneverseenthatpicture;and,rememberingthatshehadtoldhimitwasherfavourite,hestoppedtolookatit。Averagelywellversedinsuchmatters,asbecameoneofhiscaste,Miltounhadnotthepoweroflettingaworkofartinsidiouslystealtheprivateselffromhissoul,andreplaceitwiththeselfofalltheworld;andheexaminedthisfar—famedpresentmentoftheheathengoddesswithaloofness,evenirritation。Thedrawingofthebodyseemedtohimcrude,thewholepicturealittleflatandEarly;hedidnotlikethefigureoftheFlora。Thegoldenserenity,andtenderness,ofwhichshehadspoken,lefthimcold。Thenhefoundhimselflookingattheface,andslowly,butwithuncannycertainty,begantofeelthathewaslookingatthefaceofAudreyherself。Thehairwasgoldenanddifferent,theeyesgreyanddifferent,themouthalittlefuller;

yet——itwasherface;thesameovalshape,thesamefar—apart,archedbrows,thesamestrangelytender,elusivespirit。And,asthoughoffended,heturnedandwalkedon。Inthewindowofthatlittleshopwastheeffigyofherforwhomhehadbarteredawayhislife——theincarnationofpassiveandentwininglove,thatgentlecreature,whohadgivenherselftohimsoutterly,forwhomlove,andtheflowers,andtrees,andbirds,music,thesky,andthequick—flowingstreams,wereall—sufficing;andwho,likethegoddessinthepicture,seemedwonderingatherownexistence。Hehadasuddenglimpseofunderstanding,strangeindeedinonewhohadsolittlepowerofseeingintoothers\'hearts:Oughtsheevertohavebeenbornintoaworldlikethis？Buttheflashofinsightyieldedquicklytothatsickeningconsciousnessofhisownposition,whichneverlefthimnow。Whateverelsehedid,hemustgetridofthatmalaise！Butwhatcouldhedointhatcominglife？Writebooks？Whatsortofbookscouldhewrite？Onlysuchasexpressedhisviewsofcitizenship,hispoliticalandsocialbeliefs。Aswellremainsittingandspeakingbeneaththosetowers！Hecouldneverjointhehappybandofartists,thosesoftandindeterminatespirits,forwhombarriershadnomeaning,content—tounderstand,interpret,andcreate。Whatshouldhebedoinginthatgalley？Thethoughtwasinconceivable。AcareerattheBar——yes,hemighttakethatup;buttowhatend？Tobecomeajudge！Aswellcontinuetositbeneaththosetowers！Toolatefordiplomacy。ToolatefortheArmy;

besides,hehadnotthefaintesttasteformilitaryglory。BuryhimselfinthecountrylikeUncleDennis,andadministeroneofhisfather\'sestates？Itwouldbedeath。Goamongstthepoor？Foramomenthethoughthehadfoundanewvocation。Butinwhatcapacity——toordertheirlives,whenhehimselfcouldnotorderhisown;or,asamereconduitpipeformoney,whenhebelievedthatcharitywasrottingthenationtoitscore？Attheheadofeveryavenuestoodanangelordevilwithdrawnsword。Andthentherecametohimanotherthought。SincehewasbeingcastforthfromChurchandState,couldhenotplaythefallenspiritlikeaman——beLucifer,anddestroy！

Andinstinctivelyheatoncesawhimselfreturningtothosetowers,andbeneaththemcrossingthefloor;joiningtherevolutionaries,theRadicals,thefreethinkers,scourginghispresentParty,thepartyofauthorityandinstitutions。Theideastruckhimassupremelycomic,andhelaughedoutloudinthestreet……

TheClubwhichLordDennisfrequentedwasinSt。James\'suntouchedbythetidesofthewatersoffashion——steadilyswingingtoitsmooringsinaquietbackwater,andMiltounfoundhisuncleinthelibrary。HewasreadingavolumeofBurton\'stravels,anddrinkingtea。

"Nobodycomeshere,"hesaid,"so,inspiteofthatwordonthedoor,weshalltalk。Waiter,bringsomemoretea,please。"

Impatiently,butwithasortofpity,MiltounwatchedLordDennis\'surbanemovements,whereinoldagewas,pathetically,tryingtomakeeachlittlethingseemimportant,ifonlytothedoer。Nothinghisgreat—unclecouldsaywouldoutweighthewarningofhispicturesqueoldfigure！Tobeabystander;toseeitallgopastyou;toletyourswordrustinitssheath,asthispooroldfellowhaddone！ThenotionofexplainingwhathehadcomeaboutwasparticularlyhatefultoMiltoun;butsincehehadgivenhisword,henervedhimselfwithsecretanger,andbegan:

"Ipromisedmymothertoaskyouaquestion,UncleDennis。Youknowofmyattachment,Ibelieve？"

LordDennisnodded。

"Well,Ihavejoinedmylifetothislady\'s。Therewillbenoscandal,butIconsideritmydutytoresignmyseat,andleavepubliclifealone。Isthatrightorwrongaccordingto,yourview？"

LordDennislookedathisnephewinsilence。Afaintflushcolouredhisbrowncheeks。Hehadtheappearanceofonetravellinginmindoverthepast。

"Wrong,Ithink,"hesaid,atlast。

"Why,ifImayask？"

"Ihavenotthepleasureofknowingthislady,andamthereforesomewhatinthedark;butitappearstomethatyourdecisionisnotfairtoher。"

"Thatisbeyondme,"saidMiltoun。

LordDennisansweredfirmly:

"Youhaveaskedmeafrankquestion,expectingafrankanswer,I

suppose？"

Miltounnodded。

"Then,mydear,don\'tblamemeifwhatIsayisunpalatable。"

"Ishallnot。"

"Good！Yousayyouaregoingtogiveuppubliclifeforthesakeofyourconscience。Ishouldhavenocriticismtomakeifitstoppedthere。"

Hepaused,andforquiteaminuteremainedsilent,evidentlysearchingforwordstoexpresssomeintricatethreadofthought。

"Butitwon\'t,Eustace;thepublicmaninyouisfarstrongerthantheother。Youwantleadershipmorethanyouwantlove。Yoursacrificewillkillyouraffection;whatyouimagineisyourlossandhurt,willprovetobethislady\'sintheend。"

Miltounsmiled。

LordDenniscontinuedverydrylyandwithatouchofmalice:

"Youarenotlisteningtome;butIcanseeverywellthattheprocesshasbegunalreadyunderneath。There\'sacuriousstreakoftheJesuitinyou,Eustace。Whatyoudon\'twanttosee,youwon\'tlookat。"

"Youadviseme,then,tocompromise？"

"Onthecontrary,Ipointoutthatyouwillbecompromisingifyoutrytokeepbothyourconscienceandyourlove。Youwillbeseekingtohave,itbothways。"

"Thatisinteresting。"

"Andyouwillfindyourselfhavingitneither,"saidLordDennissharply。

Miltounrose。"Inotherwords,you,liketheothers,recommendmetodesertthisladywholovesme,andwhomIlove。Andyet,Uncle,theysaythatinyourowncase————"

ButLordDennishadrisen,too,havinglostalltheappanageandmannerofoldage。

"Ofmyowncase,"hesaidbluntly,"wewon\'ttalk。Idon\'tadviseyoutodesertanyone;youquitemistakeme。Iadviseyoutoknowyourself。AndItellyoumyopinionofyou——youwerecutoutbyNatureforastatesman,notalover！There\'ssomethingdried—upinyou,Eustace;I\'mnotsurethereisn\'tsomethingdried—upinallourcaste。We\'vehadtodowithformsandceremoniestoolong。We\'renotgoodattakingthelyricalpointofview。"

"Unfortunately,"saidMiltoun,"Icannot,tofitinwithatheoryofyours,commitabaseness。"

LordDennisbeganpacingupanddown。Hewaskeepinghislipsclosedverytight。

"Amanwhogivesadvice,"hesaidatlast,"isalwayssomethingofafool。Forallthat,youhavemistakenmine。Iamnotsopresumptuousastoattempttoentertheinnerchamberofyourspirit。

Ihavemerelytoldyouthat,inmyopinion,itwouldbemorehonesttoyourself,andfairertothislady,tocompoundwithyourconscience,andkeepbothyourloveandyourpubliclife,thantopretendthatyouwerecapableofsacrificingwhatIknowisthestrongerelementinyouforthesakeoftheweaker。Yourememberthesaying,DemocritusIthink:\'eachman\'snatureorcharacterishisfateorGod\'。Irecommendittoyou。"

ForafullminuteMiltounstoodwithoutreplying,thensaid:

"Iamsorrytohavetroubledyou,UncleDennis。Amiddlepolicyisnousetome。Good—bye！"Andwithoutshakinghands,hewentout。

CHAPTERXXII

Inthehallsomeonerosefromasofa,andcametowardshim。ItwasCourtier。

"Runyoutoearthatlast,"hesaid;"Iwishyou\'dcomeanddinewithme。I\'mleavingEnglandto—morrownight,andtherearethingsIwanttosay。"

TherepassedthroughMiltoun\'smindtherapidthought:\'Doesheknow？\'Heassented,however,andtheywentouttogether。

"It\'sdifficulttofindaquietplace,"saidCourtier;"butthismightdo。"

Theplacechosenwasalittlehostel,frequentedbyracingmen,andfamedfortheexcellenceofitssteaks。Andastheysatdownoppositeeachotherinthealmostemptyroom,Miltounthought:Yes,hedoesknow！CanIstandanymoreofthis？Hewaitedalmostsavagelyfortheattackhefeltwascoming。

"Soyouaregoingtogiveupyourseat？"saidCourtier。

Miltounlookedathimforsomeseconds,beforereplying。

"Fromwhattown—crierdidyouhearthat？"

ButtherewasthatinCourtier\'sfacewhichcheckedhisanger;itsfriendlinesswastransparent。

"Iamaboutheronlyfriend,"Courtierproceededearnestly;"andthisismylastchance——tosaynothingofmyfeelingtowardsyou,which,believeme,isverycordial。"

"Goon,then,"Miltounmuttered。

"Forgivemeforputtingitbluntly。Haveyouconsideredwhatherpositionwasbeforeshemetyou？"

Miltounfeltthebloodrushingtohisface,buthesatstill,clenchinghisnailsintothepalmsofhishands。

"Yes,yes,"saidCourtier,"butthatattitudeofmind——youusedtohaveityourself——whichdecreeseitherlivingdeath,orspiritualadulterytowomen,makesmybloodboil。Youcan\'tdenythatthosewerethealternatives,andIsayyouhadtherightfundamentallytoprotestagainstthem,notonlyinwordsbutdeeds。Youdidprotest,Iknow;butthispresentdecisionofyoursisaclimbdown,asmuchastosaythatyourprotestwaswrong。"

Miltounrosefromhisseat。"Icannotdiscussthis,"hesaid;"I

cannot。"

"Forhersake,youmust。Ifyougiveupyourpublicwork,you\'llspoilherlifeasecondtime。"

Miltounagainsatdown。Attheword\'must\'asteelyfeelinghadcometohisaid;hiseyesbegantoresembletheoldCardinal\'s。"Yournatureandmine,Courtier,"hesaid,"aretoofarapart;weshallneverunderstandeachother。"

"Nevermindthat,"answeredCourtier。"Admittingthosetwoalternativestobehorrible,whichyouneverwouldhavedoneunlessthefactshadbeenbroughthometoyoupersonally"That,"saidMiltounicily,"Idenyyourrighttosay。"

"Anyway,youdoadmitthem——ifyoubelieveyouhadnottherighttorescueher,onwhatprincipledoyoubasethatbelief？"

Miltounplacedhiselbowonthetable,andleaninghischinonhishand,regardedthechampionoflostcauseswithoutspeaking。Therewassuchaturmoilgoingonwithinhimthatwithdifficultyhecouldforcehislipstoobeyhim。

"Bywhatrightdoyouaskmethat？"hesaidatlast。HesawCourtier\'sfacegrowscarlet,andhisfingerstwistingfuriouslyatthoseflame—likemoustaches;buthisanswerwasassteadilyironicalasusual。

"Well,Icanhardlysitstill,mylasteveninginEngland,withoutliftingafinger,whileyouimmolateawomantowhomIfeellikeabrother。I\'lltellyouwhatyourprincipleis:Authority,unjustorjust,desirableorundesirable,mustbeimplicitlyobeyed。Tobreakalaw,nomatteronwhatprovocation,orforwhosesake,istobreakthecommandment"

"Don\'thesitate——say,ofGod。"

"OfaninfalliblefixedPower。Isthatatruedefinitionofyourprinciple？"

"Yes,"saidMiltoun,betweenhisteeth,"Ithinkso。"