下载辰思小说免费APP
Seeingitforthefirsttime,Courtiersaid:
"Finething——that！Onlywantsasoul。"
Miltounnodded:
"Sitdown,"hesaid。
Courtiersatdown。
Therefollowedoneofthosesilencesinwhichmenwhosespirits,thoughdifferent,haveacertainbignessincommon——cansaysomuchtooneanother:
AtlastMiltounspoke:
"Ihavebeenlivingintheclouds,itseems。Youareheroldestfriend。Theimmediatequestionishowtomakeiteasiestforherinfaceofthismiserablerumour！"
NotevenCourtierhimselfcouldhaveputsuchwhip—lashstingintotheword\'miserable。\'
Heanswered:
"Oh！takenonoticeofthat。Letthemstewintheirownjuice。Shewon\'tcare。"
Miltounlistened,notmovingamuscleofhisface。
"Yourfriendshere,"wentonCourtierwithatouchofcontempt,"seeminaflutter。Don\'tletthemdoanything,don\'tletthemsayaword。
Treatthethingasitdeservestobetreated。It\'lldie。"
Miltoun,however,smiled。
"I\'mnotsure,"hesaid,"thattheconsequenceswillbeasyouthink,butIshalldoasyousay。"
"Asforyourcandidature,anymanwithasparkofgenerosityinhissoulwillrallytoyoubecauseofit。"
"Possibly,"saidMiltoun。"Itwilllosemetheelection,forallthat。"
Then,dimlyconsciousthattheirlastwordshadrevealedthedifferenceoftheirtemperamentsandcreeds,theystaredatoneanother。
"No,"saidCourtier,"Ineverwillbelievethatpeoplecanbesomean！"
"Untiltheyare。"
"Anyway,thoughwegetatitindifferentways,weagree。"
Miltounleanedhiselbowonthemantelpiece,andshadinghisfacewithhishand,said:
"Youknowherstory。Isthereanywayoutofthat,forher？"
OnCourtier\'sfacewasthelookwhichsooftencamewhenhewasspeakingforoneofhislostcauses——asifthefumesfromafireinhishearthadmountedtohishead。
"Onlytheway,"heansweredcalmly,"thatIshouldtakeifIwereyou。"
"Andthat？"
"Thelawintoyourownhands。"
Miltoununshadedhisface。HisgazeseemedtohavetotravelfromanimmensedistancebeforeitreachedCourtier。Heanswered:
"Yes,Ithoughtyouwouldsaythat。"
CHAPTERXVII
Wheneverything,thatnight,wasquiet,Barbara,herhairhanginglooseoutsideherdressinggown,slippedfromherroomintothedimcorridor。Withbarefeetthrustintofur—crownedslipperswhichmadenonoise,shestolealonglookingatdoorafterdoor。ThroughalongGothicwindow,uncurtained,themildmoonlightwascoming。Shestoppedjustwherethatmoonlightfell,andtapped。Therecamenoanswer。Sheopenedthedooralittleway,andsaid:
"Areyouasleep,Eusty？"
Therestillcamenoanswer,andshewentin。
Thecurtainsweredrawn,butachinkofmoonlightpeeringthroughfellonthebed。Thiswasempty。Barbarastooduncertain,listening。Intheheartofthatdarknessthereseemedtobe,notsound,but,asitwere,themuffledsoulofsound,asortofstrangevibration,likethatofaflamenoiselesslylickingtheair。Sheputherhandtoherheart,whichbeatasthoughitwouldleapthroughthethinsilkcovering。Fromwhatcorneroftheroomwasthatmutetremorcoming？Stealingtothewindow,shepartedthecurtains,andstaredbackintotheshadows。There,onthefarside,lyingonthefloorwithhisarmspressedtightlyroundhisheadandhisfacetothewall,wasMiltoun。Barbaraletfallthecurtains,andstoodbreathless,withsuchaqueersensationinherbreastasshehadneverfelt;asenseofsomethingoutraged—ofscarredpride。Itwasgoneatonce,inarushofpity。Shesteppedforwardquicklyinthedarkness,wasvisitedbyfear,andstopped。Hehadseemedabsolutelyhimselfalltheevening。Alittlemoretalkative,perhaps,alittlemorecausticthanusual。Andnowtofindhimlikethis！TherewasnogreatshareofreverenceinBarbara,butwhatlittleshepossessedhadalwaysbeenkeptforhereldestbrother。Hehadimpressedher,fromachild,withhisaloofness,andshehadbeenproudofkissinghimbecauseheneverseemedtoletanybodyelsedoso。Thosecaresses,nodoubt,hadthesavourofconquest;hisfacehadbeentheundiscoveredlandforherlips。Shelovedhimasonelovesthatwhichministerstoone\'spride;hadforhim,too,atouchofmotherlyprotection,asforadollthatdoesnotgetontoowellwiththeotherdolls;andwithalalittleunaccustomedawe。
Daredshenowplungeinonthisprivateagony？Couldshehavebornethatanyoneshouldseeherselfthusprostrate？Hehadnotheardher,andshetriedtoregainthedoor。Butaboardcreaked;sheheardhimmove,andflingingawayherfears,said:"It\'sme！Babs！"anddroppedonherkneesbesidehim。Ifithadnotbeensopitchdarkshecouldneverhavedonethat。Shetriedatoncetotakehisheadintoherarms,butcouldnotseeit,andsucceededindifferently。Shecouldbutstrokehisarmcontinually,wonderingwhetherhewouldhatehereverafterwards,andblessingthedarkness,whichmadeitallseemasthoughitwerenothappening,yetsomuchmorepoignantthanifithadhappened。Suddenlyshefelthimslipawayfromher,andgettingup,stoleout。Afterthedarknessofthatroom,thecorridorseemedfullofgreyfilmylight,asthoughdream—spidershadjoinedthewallswiththeircobwebs,inwhichinnumerablewhitemoths,sotinythattheycouldnotbeseen,werestruggling。Smalleerienoisescreptabout。Asuddenfrightenedlongingforwarmth,andlight,andcolourcametoBarbara。Shefledbacktoherroom。Butshecouldnotsleep。Thatterriblemuteunseenvibrationintheunlightedroom—likethenoiselesslickingofaflameatblandair;thetouchofMiltoun\'shand,hotasfireagainsthercheekandneck;thewholetremulousdarkepisode,possessedherthroughandthrough。ThushadthewaywardforceofLovechosentomanifestitselftoherinallitswistfulviolence。Atthisfiatsightoftheredflowerofpassionhercheeksburned;upanddownher,betweenthecoolsheets,littlehotcruelshiversran;shelay,wide—eyed,staringattheceiling。
Shethought,ofthewomanwhomhesoloved,andwonderedifshetoowerelyingsleepless,flungdownonabarefloor,tryingtocoolherforeheadandlipsagainstacoldwall。
Notforhoursdidshefallasleep,andthendreamedofrunningdesperatelythroughfieldsfulloftallspikyasphodel—likeflowers,andbehindherwasrunningherself。
Inthemorningshedreadedtogodown。CouldshemeetMiltounnowthatsheknewofthepassioninhim,andheknewthatsheknewit？
Shehadherbreakfastbroughtupstairs。BeforeshehadfinishedMiltounhimselfcamein。Helookedmorethanusuallyself—contained,nottosayironic,andonlyremarked:"Ifyou\'regoingtorideyoumighttakethisnoteformeovertooldHalidayatWippincott。"Byhiscomingsheknewthathewassayingallheevermeanttosayaboutthatdarkincident。Andsympathizingcompletelywithareticencewhichsheherselffelttobetheonlypossiblewayoutforbothofthem,Barbaralookedathimgratefully,tookthenoteandsaid:"Allright！"
Then,afterglancingonceortwiceroundtheroom,Miltounwentaway。
Heleftherrestless,divestedofthecloak\'ofcourse,\'inastrangemoodofquestioning,readyasitwereforthesightofthemagpiewingsofLife,andtoheartheirquickflutterings。Talkjarredonherthatmorning,withitssamenessandattachmenttothefactsofthepresentandthefuture,itsessentialconcernwiththeworldasitwas—sheavoidedallcompanionshiponherride。Shewantedtobetoldofthingsthatwerenot,yetmightbe,topeepbehindthecurtain,andseetheveryspiritofmortalhappeningsescapedfromprison。AndthiswasallsounusualwithBarbara,whosebodywastooperfect,toosanelygovernedbytheflowofherbloodnottorevelinthemomentandthethingsthereof。Sheknewitwasunusual。Afterherridesheavoidedlunch,andwalkedoutintothelanes。Butabouttwoo\'clock,feelingveryhungry,shewentintoafarmhouse,andaskedformilk。There,inthekitchen,likeyoungjackdawsinarowwiththeirmouthsalittleopen,werethethreefarmboys,seatedonabenchgrippedtothealcoveofthegreatfire—way,munchingbreadandcheese。Abovetheirheadsagunwashung,triggerupwards,andtwohamsweremellowinginthesmoke。Atthefeetofablack—hairedgirl,whowasslicingonions,layasheepdogoftremendousage,withnosestretchedoutonpaws,andinhislittleblueeyesagleamofapproachingimmortality。Theyallstaredat,Barbara。Andoneoftheboys,whosefacehadthedelightfullookofhimwholosesallsenseofotherthingsinwhatheisseeingatthemoment,smiled,andcontinuedsmiling,withsheerpleasure。Barbaradrankhermilk,andwanderedoutagain;passingthroughagateatthebottomofasteep,rockytor,shesatdownonasun—warmedstone。Thesunlightfellgreedilyonherhere,likeaninvisibleswifthandtouchingherallover,andspeciallycaressingherthroatandface。Averygentlewind,whichdivedoverthetortopsintotheyoungfern;stoledownather,spicedwiththefernsap。Allwaswarmthandpeace,andonlythecuckoosonthefarthorntrees——asthoughstationedbytheWistfulMasterhimself——weretheretodisturbherheart:Butallthesweetnessandpipingofthedaydidnotsootheher。Intruth,shecouldnothavesaidwhatwasthematter,exceptthatshefeltsodiscontented,andasitwereemptyofallbutasortofachingimpatiencewith——whatexactlyshecouldnotsay。Shehadthatratherdreadfulfeelingofsomethingslippingbywhichshecouldnotcatch。
Itwassonewtohertofeellikethat——fornogirlwaslessgiventomoodsandrepinings。Andallthetimeasortofcontemptforthissoftandalmostsentimentalfeelingmadehertightenherlipsandfrown。Shefeltdistrustfulandsarcastictowardsamoodsoutterlysubversiveofthatfetich\'Hardness,\'totheunconsciousworshipofwhichshehadbeenbroughtup。Tostandnosentimentornonsenseeitherinherselforotherswasthefirstarticleoffaith;nottoslop—overanywhere。SothattofeelasshedidwasalmosthorribletoBarbara。Yetshecouldnotgetridofthesensation。Withsuddenrecklessnessshetriedgivingherselfuptoitentirely。Undoingthescarfatherthroat,shelettheairplayonherbaredneck,andstretchedoutherarmsasiftohugthewindtoher;then,withasigh,shegotup,andwalkedon。Andnowshebeganthinkingof\'Anonyma\';turningherpositionoverandover。Theideathatanyoneyoungandbeautifulshouldthusbeclippedoffinherlife,rousedherimpatientindignation。Letthemtryitwithher！Theywouldsoonsee！Forallhercultivated\'hardness,\'Barbarareallyhatedanythingtosuffer。Itseemedtoherunnatural。SheneverwenttothathospitalwhereLadyValleyshadaward,nortotheirsummercampforcrippledchildren,nortohelpintheirannualconcertforsweatedworkers,withoutafeelingofsuchvehementpitythatitwaslikebeingseizedbythethroat:Once,whenshehadbeensingingtothem,therowsofwan,pinchedfacesbelowhadbeentoomuchforher;
shehadbrokendown,forgottenherwords,lostmemoryofthetune,andjustendedherperformancewithasmile,worthmoreperhapstoheraudiencethanthoselostverses。Shenevercameawayfromsuchsightsandplaceswithoutafeelingofrevoltamountingalmosttorage;andsheonlycontinuedtogobecauseshedimlyknewthatitwasexpectedofhernottoturnherbackonsuchthings,inhersectionofSociety。
ButitwasnotthisfeelingwhichmadeherstopbeforeMrs。Noel\'scottage;norwasitcuriosity。Itwasaquitesimpledesiretosqueezeherhand。
\'Anonyma\'seemedtakinghertroubleasonlythosewomenwhoarenogoodatself—assertioncantakethings——doingexactlyasshewouldhavedoneifnothinghadhappened;alittlepalerthanusual,withlipspressedrathertightlytogether。
Theyneitherofthemspokeatfirst,butstoodlooking,notateachother\'sfaces,butateachother\'sbreasts。AtlastBarbarasteppedforwardimpulsivelyandkissedher。
Afterthat,liketwochildrenwhokissfirst,andthenmakeacquaintance,theystoodapart,silent,faintlysmiling。Ithadbeengivenandreturnedinrealsweetnessandcomradeship,thatkiss,forasignofwomanhoodmakingfaceagainsttheworld;butnowthatitwasover,bothfeltalittleawkward。WouldthatkisshavebeengivenifFatehadbeenauspicious？Wasitnotproofofmisery？SoMrs。Noel\'ssmileseemedsaying,andBarbara\'ssmileunwillinglyadmitted。Perceivingthatiftheytalkeditcouldonlybeaboutthemostordinarythings,theybeganspeakingofmusic,flowers,andthequeernessofbees\'legs。Butallthetime,Barbara,thoughseeminglyunconscious,wasnotingwithhersmilingeyes,thetinymovement\'s,bywhichonewomancantellwhatispassinginanother。Shesawalittlequivertightenthecornerofthelips,theeyessuddenlygrowlargeanddark,thethinblousedesperatelyriseandfall。Andherfancy,quickenedbylastnight\'smemory,sawthiswomangivingherselfuptothememoryofloveinherthoughts。Atthissightshefeltalittleofthatimpatiencewhichtheconqueringfeelforthepassive,andperhapsjustatouchofjealousy。
WhateverMiltoundecided,thatwouldthiswomanaccept！Suchresignation,whileitsimplifiedthings,offendedthepartofBarbarawhichrebelledagainstallinaction,alldictation,evenfromherfavouritebrother。Shesaidsuddenly:
"Areyougoingtodonothing？Aren\'tyougoingtotryandfreeyourself？IfIwereinyourposition,IwouldneverresttillI\'dmadethemfreeme。"
ButMrs。Noeldidnotanswer;andsweepingherglancefromthatcrownofsoftdarkhair,downthesoftwhitefigure,totheveryfeet,Barbaracried:
"Ibelieveyouareafatalist。"
Soonafterthat,notknowingwhatmoretosay,shewentaway。Butwalkinghomeacrossthefields,wherefullsummerwasswingingonthedeliciousairandtherewasnownobullbutonlyredcowstocropshortthe\'milk—maids\'andbuttercups,shesufferedfromthisstrangerevelationofthestrengthofsoftnessandpassivity——asthoughshehadseeninthewhitefigureof\'Anonyma,\'andheardinhervoicesomethingfrombeyond,symbolic,inconceivable,yetreal。
CHAPTERXVIII
LordValleys,relievedfromofficialpressurebysubsidenceofthewarscare,hadreturnedforalongweek—end。TosaythathehadbeenintenselyrelievedbythenewsthatMrs。Noelwasnotfree,wouldbetoputitmildly。Thoughnotold—fashioned,likehismother—in—law,inregardtothemixingofthecastes,preparedtoadmitthatexclusivenesswasoutofdate,topassoverwithashrugandalaughthosenumerousalliancesbywhichhisorderwererenewingthesinewsofwar,andindeedinhiscapacityofanexpert,oftenpointingoutthedangersoftoomuchin—breeding——yethehadapeculiarpersonalfeelingabouthisownfamily,andwasperhapsalittleextrasensitivebecauseofAgatha;forShropton,thoughagoodfellow,andextremelywealthy,wasonlyathirdbaronet,andhadoriginallybeenmadeofiron。Itwasinadvisabletogooutsidetheinnercirclewheretherewasnomaterialnecessityforsodoing。Hehadnotdoneithimself。Moreovertherewasasentimentaboutthesethings！
Onthemorningafterhisarrival,visitingthekennelsbeforebreakfast,hestoodchattingwithhisheadman,andcaressingthewetnosesofhistwofavouritepointers,——withsomethingofthefeelingofaboyletoutofschool。Thosepleasantcreatures,coweringandquiveringwithprideagainsthislegs,andturningupathimtheiryellowChineseeyes,gavehimthatsenseofwarmthandcomfortwhichvisitsmeninthepresenceoftheirhobbies。Withthisparticularpair,inbredtotheuttermost,hehadsuccessfullysurmountedagreatrisk。Itwasnowtouchandgowhetherhedaredventureononemorecrosstotheoriginalstrain,inthehopeofeliminatingthelastclingingoflivercolour。Itwasagamble——anditwasjustthatwhichrendereditsovastlyinteresting。
Asmallvoicedivertedhisattention;helookedroundandsawlittleAnn。Shehadbeeninbedwhenhearrivedthenightbefore,andhewasthereforethenewestthingabout。
Shecarriedinherarmsaguinea—pig,andbeganatonce:
"Grandpapa,Grannywantsyou。She\'sontheterrace;she\'stalkingtoMr。Courtier。Ilikehim——he\'sakindman。IfIputmyguinea—pigdown,willtheybiteit？Poordarling——theyshan\'t！Isn\'titadarling！"
LordValleys,twirlinghismoustache,regardedtheguinea—pigwithoutfavour;hehadratheradislikeforallsenselesskindsofbeasts。
Pressingtheguinea—pigbetweenherhands,asitmightbeaconcertina,littleAnnjiggeditgentlyabovethepointers,who,wrinklinghorriblytheirlongnoses,gazedupwards,fascinated。
"Poordarlings,theywantit——don\'tthey？Grandpapa"
"Yes。"
"Doyouthinkthenextpuppieswillbespottedquiteallover？"
Continuingtotwirlhismoustache,LordValleysanswered:
"Ithinkitisnotimprobable,Ann。"
"Whydoyoulikethemspottedlikethat？Oh！they\'rekissingSambo——
Imustgo！"
LordValleysfollowedher,hiseyebrowsalittleraised。
Asheapproachedtheterracehiswifecame,towardshim。Hercolourwas,deeperthanusual,andshehadthelook,higherandmoreresolute,peculiartoherwhenshehadbeenopposed。IntruthshehadjustbeenthroughapassageofarmswithCourtier,who,asthefirstrevealerofMrs。Noel\'ssituation,hadbecomeentitledtoacertainconfidenceonthissubject。Ithadarisenfromwhatshehadintendedasaperfectlynaturalandnotunkindremark,totheeffectthatallthetroublehadcomefromMrs。NoelnothavingmadeherpositioncleartoMiltounfromthefirst。
Hehadatoncegrownveryred。
"It\'seasy,LadyValleys,forthosewhohaveneverbeeninthepositionofalonelywoman,toblameher。"
Unaccustomedtobewithstood,shehadlookedathimintently:
"Iamthelastpersontobehardonawomanforconventional"
reasons。ButIthinkitshowedlackofcharacter。"
Courtier\'sreplyhadbeenalmostrude。
"Plantsarenotequallyrobust,LadyValleys。Some,asweknow,areactuallysensitive。"
Shehadretortedwithdecision"Ifyouliketosodignifythesimplerword\'weak\'"
Hehadbecomeveryrigidatthat,bitingdeeplyintohismoustache。
"Whatcrimesarenotcommittedunderthesanctityofthatcreed\'survivalofthefittest,\'whichsuitsthebookofallyoufortunatepeoplesowell！"
Pridingherselfonherrestraint,LadyValleysanswered:
"Ah！wemusttalkthatout。Onthefaceofthemyourwordssoundalittleunphilosophic,don\'tthey？
Hehadlookedstraightatherwithaqueer,unpleasantsmile;andshehadfeltatoncedisturbedandangry。Itwasallverywelltopetandeventoadmiretheseoriginalsortofmen,buttherewerelimits。
Remembering,however,thathewasherguest,shehadonlysaid:
"Perhapsafterallwehadbetternottalkitout;"andmovingaway,sheheardhimanswer:"Inanycase,I\'mcertainAudreyNoelneverwilfullykeptyoursoninthedark;she\'smuchtooproud。"
Thoughrude,shecouldnothelplikingthewayhestuckupforthiswoman;andshethrewbackathimthewords:
"YouandI,Mr。Courtier,musthaveagoodfightsomeday！"
Shewenttowardsherhusbandconsciousoftheratherpleasurablesensationwhichcombatalwaysrousedinher。
Thesetwowereverygoodcomrades。Theirshadbeenalovematch,andmakingdueallowanceforhumannaturebesetbyopportunity,hadremained,throughout,asolidandefficientalliance。Taking,astheybothdid,suchprominentpartsinpublicandsocialmatters,thetimetheyspenttogetherwaslimited,butproductiveofmutualbenefitandreinforcement。Theyhadnotyethadanopportunityofdiscussingtheirson\'saffair;and,slippingherhandthroughhisarm,LadyValleysdrewhimawayfromthehouse。
"IwanttotalktoyouaboutMiltoun,Geoff。"
"H\'m！"saidLordValleys;"yes。Theboy\'slookingworn。Goodthingwhenthiselection\'sover。"
"Ifhe\'sbeatenandhasn\'tsomethingnewandserioustoconcentratehimselfon,he\'llfrethisheartoutoverthatwoman。"
LordValleysmeditatedalittlebeforereplying。
"Idon\'tthinkthat,Gertrude。He\'sgotplentyofspirit。"
"Ofcourse！Butit\'sarealpassion。And,youknow,he\'snotlikemostboys,who\'lltakewhattheycan。"
Shesaidthisratherwistfully。
"I\'msorryforthewoman,"musedLordValleys;"Ireallyam。"
"Theysaythisrumour\'sdonealotofharm。"
"Ourinfluenceisstrongenoughtosurvivethat。"
"It\'llbeasqueak;IwishIknewwhathewasgoingtodo。Willyouaskhim？"
"You\'reclearlythepersontospeaktohim,"repliedLordValleys。
"I\'mnohandatthatsortofthing。"
ButLadyValleys,withgenuinediscomfort,murmured:
"Mydear,I\'msonervouswithEustace。WhenheputsonthatsmileofhisI\'mdonefor,atonce。"
"Thisisobviouslyawoman\'sbusiness;nobodylikeamother。"
"Ifitwereonlyoneoftheothers,"mutteredLadyValleys:"Eustacehasthatqueerwayofmakingyoufeellumpy。"
LordValleyslookedatheraskance。Hehadthatkindofcriticalfastidiousnesswhichawordwillrouseintoactivity。Wasshelumpy？
Theideahadneverstruckhim。
"Well,I\'lldoit,ifImust,"sighedLadyValleys。
WhenafterbreakfastsheenteredMiltoun\'s\'den,\'hewasbucklingonhisspurspreparatory,toridingouttosomeoftheremotervillages。
UnderthemaskoftheApachechief,Bertiewasstanding,moreinscrutableandneatthanever,inaperfectlytiedcravatte,perfectlycutridingbreeches,andbootswornandpolishedtillasootyglowshonethroughtheirnaturalrusset。Notspeciallydandifiedinhisusualdress,BertieCaradocwouldalmostsoonerhavediedthandisgraceahorse。Hiseyes,thesharperbecausetheyhadonlyhalfthespaceoftheordinaryeyetoglancefrom,atoncetookinthefactthathismotherwishedtobealonewith\'oldMiltoun,\'
andhediscreetlylefttheroom。
ThatwhichdisconcertedallwhohaddealingswithMiltounwasthediscoverymadesoonorlate,thattheycouldnotbesurehowanythingwouldstrikehim。Inhismind,asinhisface,therewasacertainregularity,andthen——impossibletosayexactlywhere——itwould,shootoffandtwistroundacorner。Thiswasthelegacynodoubtofthehard—bittenindividuality,whichhadbroughttothefrontsomanyofhisancestors;forinMiltounwasthebloodnotonlyoftheCaradocsandFitz—Harolds,butofmostotherprominentfamiliesinthekingdom,allofwhom,inthoseagesbeforemoneymadetheman,musthavehadaforbearconspicuousbyreasonofqualities,notalwaysfine,butalwayspoignant。
Andnow,thoughLadyValleyshadtheaudacityofherphysique,andwasnotcustomarilyabashed,shebeganbyspeakingofpolitics,hopinghersonwouldgiveheranopening。Buthegavehernone,andshegrewnervous。Atlast,summoningallhercoolness,shesaid:
"I\'mdreadfullysorryaboutthisaffair,dearboy。Yourfathertoldmeofyourtalkwithhim。Trynottotakeittoohard。"
Miltoundidnotanswer,andsilencebeingthatwhichLadyValleyshabituallymostdreaded,shetookrefugeinfurtherspeech,outliningforhersonthewholeepisodeasshesawitfromherpointofview,andendingwiththesewords:
"Surelyit\'snotworthit。"
Miltounheardherwithhispeculiarlook,asofamanpeeringthroughavizor。Thensmiling,hesaid:
"Thankyou;"andopenedthedoor。
LadyValleys,withoutquiteknowingwhetherheintendedhertodoso,indeedwithoutquiteknowinganythingatthemoment,passedout,andMiltounclosedthedoorbehindher。
TenminuteslaterheandBertiewereseenridingdownthedrive。
CHAPTERXIX
Thatafternoonthewind,whichhadbeenrisingsteadily,broughtaflurryofcloudsupfromtheSouth—West。FormedoutontheheartoftheAtlantic,theysailedforward,swiftandfleecyatfirst,liketheskirmishingwhiteshallopsofagreatfleet;then,inserriedmasses,darkenedthesun。Aboutfouro\'clocktheybrokeinrain,whichthewinddrovehorizontallywithacoldwhifflingmurmur。Asyouthandglamourdieinafacebeforethecoldrainsoflife,soglorydiedonthemoor。Thetors,frombeingupliftedwildcastles,becamemeregreyexcrescences。Distancefailed。Thecuckoosweresilent。Therewasnoneofthebeautythatthereisindeath,notragicgreatness——allwasmoaningandmonotony。Butaboutseventhesuntoreitswaybackthroughtheswathe,andflaredout。Likesomehugestar,whoserayswerestretchingdowntothehorizon,anduptotheverytopofthehillofair,itshonewithanamazingmurkyglamour;thecloudssplinteredbyitsshafts,andtingedsaffron,piledthemselvesupasifinwonder。Underthesultrywarmthofthisnewgreatstar,theheatherbegantosteamalittle,andtheglitterofitswetunopenedbellswaslikethatofinnumerabletinysmokingfires。Thetwobrothersweredrenchedastheycanteredsilentlyhome。Goodfriendsalways,theyhadnevermuchtosaytooneanother。ForMiltounwasconsciousthathethoughtonadifferentplanefromBertie;andBertiegrudgedeventohisbrotheranyinklingofwhatwaspassinginhisspirit,justashegrudgedpartingwithdiplomaticknowledge,orstablesecrets,orindeedanythingthatmightleavehimlessincommandoflife。Hegrudgedit,becauseinaprivatesortofwayitloweredhisestimationofhisownstoicalself—sufficiency;ithurtsomethingproudinthewithdrawing—roomofhissoul。Butthoughhetalkedlittle,hehadthepowerofcontemplation——oftenfoundinmenofdecidedcharacter,withatendencytoliver。OnceinNepal,wherehehadgonetoshoot,hehadpassedamonthquitehappilywithonlyaGhoorkaservantwhocouldspeaknoEnglish。Tothosewhoaskedhimifhehadnotbeenhorriblybored,hehadalwaysanswered:"Notabit;didalotofthinking。"
WithMiltoun\'stroublehehadtheprofessionalsympathyofabrotherandthenaturalintoleranceofaconfirmedbachelor。Womenweretohimverykittle—cattle。Hedistrustedfromthebottomofhissoulthosewhohadsuchmanifestpowertodrawthingsfromyou。Hewasoneofthosemeninwhomsomedayawomanmightawakenareallyfineaffection;butwho,untilthattime,wouldmaintaintheperfectlymaleattitudetotheentiresex,and,afterit,toallthesexbutone。Womenwere,likeLifeitself,creaturestobewatched,carefullyused,andkeptdulysubservient。TheonlyallusionthereforethathemadetoMiltoun\'stroublewasverysudden。
"Oldman,Ihopeyou\'regoingtocutyourlosses。"
Thewordswerefollowedbyundisturbedsilence:ButpassingMrs。
Noel\'scottageMiltounsaid:
"Takemyhorseon;Iwanttogoinhere。"
Shewassittingatherpianowithherhandsidle,lookingatalineofmusic……Shehadbeensittingthusformanyminutes,buthadnotyettakeninthenotes。
