第21章

\'WhenyouwerewithHewby，ofcourse，ofcourse。Well，Ican\'tunderstandit。\'Histonesrose。\'Idon\'tknowwhattosay，yourhoodwinkingmelikethisforsolong!\'

\'Idon\'tseethatIhavehoodwinkedyouatall。\'

\'Yes，yes，but\'——

Knightarosefromhisseat，andbeganpacingupanddowntheroom。

Hisfacewasmarkedlypale，andhisvoiceperturbed，ashesaid——

\'YoudidnotactasIshouldhaveactedtowardsyouunderthosecircumstances。Ifeelitdeeply；andItellyouplainly，Ishallneverforgetit!\'

\'What？\'

\'Yourbehaviouratthatmeetinginthefamilyvault，whenItoldyouweweregoingtobemarried。Deception，dishonesty，everywhere；alltheworld\'sofapiece!\'

Stephendidnotmuchlikethismisconstructionofhismotives，eventhoughitwasbutthehastyconclusionofafrienddisturbedbyemotion。

\'IcoulddonootherwisethanIdid，withdueregardtoher，\'hesaidstiffly。

\'Indeed!\'saidKnight，inthebitteresttoneofreproach。\'Norcouldyouwithdueregardtoherhavemarriedher，Isuppose!I

havehoped——longed——thatHE，whoturnsouttobeYOU，wouldultimatelyhavedonethat。\'

\'Iammuchobligedtoyouforthathope。Butyoutalkverymysteriously。IthinkIhadaboutthebestreasonanybodycouldhavehadfornotdoingthat。\'

\'Oh，whatreasonwasit？\'

\'ThatIcouldnot。\'

\'Yououghttohavemadeanopportunity；yououghttodosonow，inbarejusticetoher，Stephen!\'criedKnight，carriedbeyondhimself。\'Thatyouknowverywell，andithurtsandwoundsmemorethanyoudreamtofindyouneverhavetriedtomakeanyreparationtoawomanofthatkind——sotrusting，soapttoberunawaywithbyherfeelings——poorlittlefool，somuchtheworseforher!\'

\'Why，youtalklikeamadman!Youtookherawayfromme，didyounot？\'

\'Pickingupwhatanotherthrowsdowncanscarcelybecalled"takingaway。”However，weshallnotagreetoowelluponthatsubject，sowehadbetterpart。\'

\'ButIamquitecertainyoumisapprehendsomethingmostgrievously，\'saidStephen，shakentothebottomofhisheart。

\'WhathaveIdone；tellme？IhavelostElfride，butisthatsuchasin？\'

\'Wasitherdoing，oryours？\'

\'Waswhat？\'

\'Thatyouparted。\'

\'Iwilltellyouhonestly。Itwashersentirely，entirely。\'

\'Whatwasherreason？\'

\'Icanhardlysay。ButI\'lltellthestorywithoutreserve。\'

Stephenuntilto-dayhadunhesitatinglyheldthatshegrewtiredofhimandturnedtoKnight；buthedidnotliketoadvancethestatementnow，oreventothinkthethought。TofancyotherwiseaccordedbetterwiththehopetowhichKnight\'sestrangementhadgivenbirth:thatloveforhisfriendwasnotthedirectcause，butaresultofhersuspensionofloveforhimself。

\'Suchamattermustnotbeallowedtobreeddiscordbetweenus，\'

Knightreturned，relapsingintoamannerwhichconcealedallhistruefeeling，asifconfidencenowwasintolerable。\'Idoseethatyourreticencetowardsmeinthevaultmayhavebeendictatedbyprudentialconsiderations。\'Heconcludedartificially，\'Itwasastrangethingaltogether；butnotofmuchimportance，Isuppose，atthisdistanceoftime；anditdoesnotconcernmenow，thoughI

don\'tmindhearingyourstory。\'

ThesewordsfromKnight，utteredwithsuchanairofrenunciationandapparentindifference，promptedSmithtospeakon——perhapswithalittlecomplacency——ofhisoldsecretengagementtoElfride。Hetoldthedetailsofitsorigin，andtheperemptorywordsandactionsofherfathertoextinguishtheirlove。

Knightperseveredinthetoneandmannerofadisinterestedoutsider。IthadbecomemorethaneverimperativetoscreenhisemotionsfromStephen\'seye；theyoungmanwouldotherwisebelessfrank，andtheirmeetingwouldbeagainembittered。Whatwastheuseofuntowardcandour？

Stephenhadnowarrivedatthepointinhisingenuousnarrativewhereheleftthevicaragebecauseofherfather\'smanner。

Knight\'sinterestincreased。Theirloveseemedsoinnocentandchildlikethusfar。

\'Itisanicepointincasuistry，\'heobserved，\'todecidewhetheryouwereculpableornotinnottellingSwancourtthatyourfriendswereparishionersofhis。Itwasonlyhumannaturetoholdyourtongueunderthecircumstances。Well，whatwastheresultofyourdismissalbyhim？\'

\'Thatweagreedtobesecretlyfaithful。Andtoinsurethiswethoughtwewouldmarry。\'

Knight\'ssuspenseandagitationrosehigherwhenStephenentereduponthisphaseofthesubject。

\'Doyoumindtellingon？\'hesaid，steadyinghismannerofspeech。

\'Oh，notatall。\'

ThenStephengaveinfulltheparticularsofthemeetingwithElfrideattherailwaystation；thenecessitytheywereunderofgoingtoLondon，unlesstheceremonyweretobepostponed。Thelongjourneyoftheafternoonandevening；hertimidityandrevulsionoffeeling；itsculminationonreachingLondon；thecrossingovertothedown-platformandtheirimmediatedepartureagain，solelyinobediencetoherwish；thejourneyallnight；

theiranxiouswatchingforthedawn；theirarrivalatSt。Launce\'satlast——weredetailed。AndhetoldhowavillagewomannamedJethwaywastheonlypersonwhorecognizedthem，eithergoingorcoming；andhowdreadfullythisterrifiedElfride。Hetoldhowhewaitedinthefieldswhilstthisthenreproachfulsweetheartwentforherpony，andhowthelastkissheevergaveherwasgivenamileoutofthetown，onthewaytoEndelstow。

ThesethingsStephenrelatedwithawill。HebelievedthatindoingsoheestablishedwordbywordthereasonablenessofhisclaimtoElfride。

\'Curseher!cursethatwoman!——thatmiserableletterthatpartedus!OGod!\'

Knightbeganpacingtheroomagain，andutteredthisatfurtherend。

\'Whatdidyousay？\'saidStephen，turninground。

\'Say？DidIsayanything？Oh，Iwasmerelythinkingaboutyourstory，andtheoddnessofmyhavingafancyforthesamewomanafterwards。AndthatnowI——Ihaveforgottenheralmost；andneitherofuscareabouther，exceptjustasafriend，youknow，eh？\'

Knightstillcontinuedatthefurtherendoftheroom，somewhatinshadow。

\'Exactly，\'saidStephen，inwardlyexultant，forhewasreallydeceivedbyKnight\'soff-handmanner。

YethewasdeceivedlessbythecompletenessofKnight\'sdisguisethanbythepersuasivepowerwhichlayinthefactthatKnighthadneverbeforedeceivedhiminanything。SothissuppositionthathiscompanionhadceasedtoloveElfridewasanenormouslighteningoftheweightwhichhadturnedthescaleagainsthim。

\'AdmittingthatElfrideCOULDloveanothermanafteryou，\'saidtheelder，underthesamevarnishofcarelesscriticism，\'shewasnonetheworseforthatexperience。\'

\'Theworse？Ofcourseshewasnonetheworse。\'

\'Didyoueverthinkitawildandthoughtlessthingforhertodo？\'

\'Indeed，Ineverdid，\'saidStephen。\'Ipersuadedher。Shesawnoharminituntilshedecidedtoreturn，nordidI；norwasthere，excepttotheextentofindiscretion。\'

\'Directlyshethoughtitwaswrongshewouldgonofurther？\'

\'Thatwasit。Ihadjustbeguntothinkitwrongtoo。\'

\'Suchachildishescapademighthavebeenmisrepresentedbyanyevil-disposedperson，mightitnot？\'

\'Itmight；butIneverheardthatitwas。Nobodywhoreallyknewallthecircumstanceswouldhavedoneotherwisethansmile。Ifalltheworldhadknownit，Elfridewouldstillhaveremainedtheonlyonewhothoughtheractionasin。Poorchild，shealwayspersistedinthinkingso，andwasfrightenedmorethanenough。\'

\'Stephen，doyoulovehernow？\'

\'Well，Ilikeher；Ialwaysshall，youknow，\'hesaidevasively，andwithallthestrategylovesuggested。\'ButIhavenotseenherforsolongthatIcanhardlybeexpectedtoloveher。Doyouloveherstill？\'

\'HowshallIanswerwithoutbeingashamed？Whatficklebeingswemenare，Stephen!Menmaylovestrongestforawhile，butwomenlovelongest。Iusedtoloveher——inmyway，youknow。\'

\'Yes，Iunderstand。Ah，andIusedtoloveherinmyway。Infact，Ilovedheragooddealatonetime；buttravelhasatendencytoobliterateearlyfancies。\'

\'Ithas——ithas，truly。\'

Perhapsthemostextraordinaryfeatureinthisconversationwasthecircumstancethat，thougheachinterlocutorhadatfirsthissuspicionsoftheother\'sabidingpassionawakenedbyseverallittleacts，neitherwouldallowhimselftoseethathisfriendmightnowbespeakingdeceitfullyaswellashe。

\'Stephen。\'resumedKnight，\'nowthatmattersaresmoothbetweenus，IthinkImustleaveyou。Youwon\'tmindmyhurryingofftomyquarters？\'

\'You\'llstaytosomesortofsuppersurely？didn\'tyoucometodinner!\'

\'Youmustreallyexcusemethisonce。\'

\'Thenyou\'lldropintobreakfastto-morrow。\'

\'Ishallberatherpressedfortime。\'

\'Anearlybreakfast，whichshallinterferewithnothing？\'

\'I\'llcome，\'saidKnight，withasmuchreadinessasitwaspossibletograftuponahugestockofreluctance。\'Yes，early；

eighto\'clocksay，asweareunderthesameroof。\'

\'Anytimeyoulike。Eightitshallbe。\'

AndKnightlefthim。Towearamask，todissemblehisfeelingsashehadintheirlatemiserableconversation，wassuchtorturethathecouldsupportitnolonger。ItwasthefirsttimeinKnight\'slifethathehadeverbeensoentirelytheplayerofapart。AndthemanhehadthusdeceivedwasStephen，whohaddocilelylookeduptohimfromyouthasasuperiorofunblemishedintegrity。

Hewenttobed，andallowedthefeverofhisexcitementtorageuncontrolled。Stephen——itwasonlyhewhowastherival——onlyStephen!Therewasananti-climaxofabsurditywhichKnight，wretchedandconscience-strickenashewas，couldnothelprecognizing。Stephenwasbutaboytohim。WherethegreatgrieflaywasinperceivingthattheveryinnocenceofElfrideinreadingherlittlefaultasonesogravewaswhathadfatallymisledhim。HadElfride，withanydegreeofcoolness，assertedthatshehaddonenoharm，thepoisonousbreathofthedeadMrs。

Jethwaywouldhavebeeninoperative。Whydidhenotmakehislittledocilegirltellmore？Ifonthatsubjecthehadonlyexercisedtheimperativenesscustomarywithhimonothers，allmighthavebeenrevealed。Itsmotehisheartlikeaswitchwhenherememberedhowgentlyshehadbornehisscourgingspeeches，neveransweringhimwithasinglereproach，onlyassuringhimofherunboundedlove。

KnightblessedElfrideforhersweetness，andforgotherfault。

Hepicturedwithavividfancythosefairsummersceneswithher。

Heagainsawherasattheirfirstmeeting，timidatspeaking，yetinhereagernesstobeexplanatoryborneforwardalmostagainstherwill。Howshewouldwaitforhimingreenplaces，withoutshowinganyoftheordinarywomanlyaffectationsofindifference!

Howproudshewastobeseenwalkingwithhim，bearinglegiblyinhereyesthethoughtthathewasthegreatestgeniusintheworld!

Heformedaresolution；andafterthatcouldmakepretenceofslumbernolonger。Risinganddressinghimself，hesatdownandwaitedforday。

ThatnightStephenwasrestlesstoo。NotbecauseoftheunwontednessofareturntoEnglishscenery；notbecausehewasabouttomeethisparents，andsettledownforawhiletoEnglishcottagelife。Hewasindulgingindreams，andforthenoncethewarehousesofBombayandtheplainsandfortsofPoonahwerebutashadow\'sshadow。Hisdreamwasbasedonthisoneatomoffact:

ElfrideandKnighthadbecomeseparated，andtheirengagementwasasifithadneverbeen。TheirrupturemusthaveoccurredsoonafterStephen\'sdiscoveryofthefactoftheirunion；and，Stephenwentontothink，whatsoprobableasthatareturnofhererrantaffectiontohimselfwasthecause？

Stephen\'sopinionsinthismatterwerethoseofalover，andnotthebalancedjudgmentofanunbiassedspectator。Hisnaturallysanguinespiritbuilthopeuponhope，tillscarcelyadoubtremainedinhismindthatherlingeringtendernessforhimhadinsomewaybeenperceivedbyKnight，andhadprovokedtheirparting。

TogoandseeElfridewasthesuggestionofimpulsesitwasimpossibletowithstand。Atanyrate，torundownfromSt。

Launce\'stoCastlePoterel，adistanceoflessthantwentymiles，andglidelikeaghostabouttheiroldhaunts，makingstealthyinquiriesabouther，wouldbeafascinatingwayofpassingthefirstsparehoursafterreachinghomeonthedayafterthemorrow。

Hewasnowarichermanthanheretofore，standingonhisownbottom；andthedefinitepositioninwhichhehadrootedhimselfnullifiedoldlocaldistinctions。Hehadbecomeillustrious，evensanguineclarus，judgingfromthetoneoftheworthyMayorofSt。

Launce\'s。

ChapterXXXIX

\'Eachtothelovedone\'sside。\'

Thefriendsandrivalsbreakfastedtogetherthenextmorning。Notawordwassaidoneithersideuponthematterdiscussedthepreviouseveningsogliblyandsohollowly。Stephenwasabsorbedthegreaterpartofthetimeinwishinghewerenotforcedtostayintownyetanotherday。

\'Idon\'tintendtoleaveforSt。Launce\'stillto-morrow，asyouknow，\'hesaidtoKnightattheendofthemeal。\'Whatareyougoingtodowithyourselfto-day？\'

\'Ihaveanengagementjustbeforeten，\'saidKnightdeliberately；

\'andafterthattimeImustcallupontwoorthreepeople。\'

\'I\'lllookforyouthisevening，\'saidStephen。

\'Yes，do。Youmayaswellcomeanddinewithme；thatis，ifwecanmeet。ImaynotsleepinLondonto-night；infact，Iamabsolutelyunsettledastomymovementsyet。However，thefirstthingIamgoingtodoistogetmybaggageshiftedfromthisplacetoBede\'sInn。Good-byeforthepresent。I\'llwrite，youknow，ifIcan\'tmeetyou。\'

Itnowwantedaquartertonineo\'clock。WhenKnightwasgone，Stephenfeltyetmoreimpatientofthecircumstancethatanotherdaywouldhavetodragitselfawaywearilybeforehecouldsetoutforthatspotofearthwhereonasoftthoughtofhimmightperhapsbenourishedstill。Onasuddenheadmittedtohismindthepossibilitythattheengagementhewaswaitingintowntokeepmightbepostponedwithoutmuchharm。

Itwasnosoonerperceivedthanattempted。Lookingathiswatch，hefounditwantedfortyminutestothedepartureoftheteno\'clocktrainfromPaddington，whichlefthimasurplusquarterofanhourbeforeitwouldbenecessarytostartforthestation。

Scribblingahastynoteortwo——oneputtingoffthebusinessmeeting，anothertoKnightapologizingfornotbeingabletoseehimintheevening——payinghisbill，andleavinghisheavierluggagetofollowhimbygoods-train，hejumpedintoacabandrattledofftotheGreatWesternStation。

Shortlyafterwardshetookhisseatintherailwaycarriage。

Theguardpausedonhiswhistle，toletintothenextcompartmenttoSmith\'samanofwhomStephenhadcaughtbutahastyglimpseasheranacrosstheplatformatthelastmoment。

Smithsankbackintothecarriage，stilledbyperplexity。Themanwaslik