第8章

"Youaretalkinghorribly，"Isaid。"Atyourageandatmine，havewedonewithloveanddonewithhope？ItisblasphemytoLoveandHopetosayit！"

"WaittillyouhavereadtheTrial，"heanswered。"Youmeantoreadit，Isuppose？"

"Everywordofit！Withamotive，Eustace，whichyouhaveyettoknow。"

"Nomotiveofyours，Valeria，noloveandhopeofyours，canaltertheinexorablefacts。Myfirstwifediedpoisoned；andtheverdictofthejuryhasnotabsolutelyacquittedmeoftheguiltofcausingherdeath。Aslongasyouwereignorantofthatthepossibilitiesofhappinesswerealwayswithinourreach。Nowyouknowit，Isayagain——ourmarriedlifeisatanend。"

"No，"Isaid。"NowIknowit，ourmarriedlifehasbegun——begunwithanewobjectforyourwife’sdevotion，withanewreasonforyourwife’slove！"

"Whatdoyoumean？"

Iwentneartohimagain，andtookhishand。

"Whatdidyoutellmetheworldhassaidofyou？"Iasked。"Whatdidyoutellmemyfriendswouldsayofyou？’NotProvenwon’tdoforus。Ifthejuryhavedonehimaninjustice——ifhe_is_

innocent——lethimproveit。’Thosewerethewordsyouputintothemouthsofmyfriends。Iadoptthemformine！IsayNotProvenwon’tdofor_me。_Proveyourright，Eustace，toaverdictofNotGuilty。Whyhaveyouletthreeyearspasswithoutdoingit？ShallIguesswhy？Youhavewaitedforyourwifetohelpyou。Heresheis，mydarling，readytohelpyouwithallherheartandsoul。

Heresheis，withoneobjectinlife——toshowtheworldandtoshowtheScotchJurythatherhusbandisaninnocentman！"

Ihadrousedmyself；mypulseswerethrobbing，myvoicerangthroughtheroom。HadIroused_him_？Whatwashisanswer？

"ReadtheTrial。"Thatwashisanswer。

Iseizedhimbythearm。InmyindignationandmydespairIshookhimwithallmystrength。Godforgiveme，Icouldalmosthavestruckhimforthetoneinwhichhehadspokenandthelookthathehadcastonme！

"IhavetoldyouthatImeantoreadtheTrial，"Isaid。"Imeantoreadit，linebyline，withyou。Someinexcusablemistakehasbeenmade。Evidenceinyourfavorthatmighthavebeenfoundhasnotbeenfound。Suspiciouscircumstanceshavenotbeeninvestigated。Craftypeoplehavenotbeenwatched。Eustace！theconvictionofsomedreadfuloversight，committedbyyouorbythepersonswhohelpedyou，isfirmlysettledinmymind。TheresolutiontosetthatvileVerdictrightwasthefirstresolutionthatcametomewhenIfirstheardofitinthenextroom。We_will_setitright！We_must_setitright——foryoursake，formysake，forthesakeofourchildrenifweareblessedwithchildren。Oh，myownlove，don’tlookatmewiththosecoldeyes！Don’tanswermeinthosehardtones！Don’ttreatmeasifI

weretalkingignorantlyandmadlyofsomethingthatcanneverbe！"

StillIneverrousedhim。Hisnextwordswerespokencompassionatelyratherthancoldly——thatwasall。

"Mydefensewasundertakenbythegreatestlawyersintheland，"

hesaid。"Aftersuchmenhavedonetheirutmost，andhavefailed——mypoorValeria，whatcanyou，whatcanI，do？Wecanonlysubmit。"

"Never！"Icried。"Thegreatestlawyersaremortalmen；thegreatestlawyershavemademistakesbeforenow。Youcan’tdenythat。"

"ReadtheTrial。"Forthethirdtimehesaidthosecruelwords，andsaidnomore。

Inutterdespairofmovinghim———feelingkeenly，bitterly（ifI

mustownit），hismercilesssuperioritytoallthatIhadsaidtohiminthehonestfervorofmydevotionandmylove——IthoughtofMajorFitz—Davidasalastresort。Inthedisorderedstateofmymindatthatmoment，itmadenodifferencetomethattheMajorhadalreadytriedtoreasonwithhim，andhadfailed。InthefaceofthefactsIhadablindbeliefintheinfluenceofhisoldfriend，ifhisoldfriendcouldonlybeprevailedupontosupportmyview。

"Waitformeonemoment，"Isaid。"Iwantyoutohearanotheropinionbesidesmine。"

Ilefthim，andreturnedtothestudy。MajorFitz—Davidwasnotthere。Iknockedatthedoorofcommunicationwiththefrontroom。ItwasopenedinstantlybytheMajorhimself。Thedoctorhadgoneaway。Benjaminstillremainedintheroom。

"WillyoucomeandspeaktoEustace？"Ibegan。"IfyouwillonlysaywhatIwantyoutosay——"

BeforeIcouldaddawordmoreIheardthehousedooropenedandclosed。MajorFitz—DavidandBenjaminheardittoo。Theylookedateachotherinsilence。

Iranback，beforetheMajorcouldstopme，totheroominwhichIhadseenEustace。Itwasempty。Myhusbandhadleftthehouse。

CHAPTERXIII。

THEMAN’SDECISION。

MYfirstimpulsewastherecklessimpulsetofollowEustace——openlythroughthestreets。

TheMajorandBenjaminbothopposedthishastyresolutiononmypart。Theyappealedtomyownsenseofself—respect，without（sofarasIrememberit）producingtheslightesteffectonmymind。

Theyweremoresuccessfulwhentheyentreatedmenexttobepatientformyhusband’ssake。InmercytoEustace，theybeggedmetowaithalfanhour。Ifhefailedtoreturninthattime，theypledgedthemselvestoaccompanymeinsearchofhimtothehotel。

InmercytoEustaceIconsentedtowait。WhatIsufferedundertheforcednecessityforremainingpassiveatthatcrisisinmylifenowordsofminecantell。ItwillbebetterifIgoonwithmynarrative。

Benjaminwasthefirsttoaskmewhathadpassedbetweenmyhusbandandmyself。

"Youmayspeakfreely，mydear，"hesaid。"IknowwhathashappenedsinceyouhavebeeninMajorFitz—David’shouse。Noonehastoldmeaboutit；Ifounditoutformyself。Ifyouremember，Iwasstruckbythenameof’Macallan，’whenyoufirstmentionedittomeatmycottage。Icouldn’tguesswhyatthetime。Iknowwhynow。"

Hearingthis，ItoldthembothunreservedlywhatIhadsaidtoEustace，andhowhehadreceivedit。Tomyunspeakabledisappointment，theybothsidedwithmyhusband，treatingmyviewofhispositionasameredream。Theysaidit，ashehadsaidit，"YouhavenotreadtheTrial。"

Iwasreallyenragedwiththem。"Thefactsareenoughfor_me，_"

Isaid。"Weknowheisinnocent。Whyishisinnocencenotproved？

Itoughttobe，itmustbe，itshallbe！IftheTrialtellmeitcan’tbedone，IrefusetobelievetheTrial。Whereisthebook，Major？Letmeseeformyselfifhislawyershaveleftnothingforhiswifetodo。DidtheylovehimasIlovehim？Givemethebook！"

MajorFitz—DavidlookedatBenjamin。

"ItwillonlyadditionallyshockanddistressherifIgiveherthebook，"hesaid。"Don’tyouagreewithme？"

IinterposedbeforeBenjamincouldanswer。

"Ifyourefusemyrequest，"Isaid，"youwillobligeme，Major，togotothenearestbooksellerandtellhimtobuytheTrialforme。Iamdeterminedtoreadit。"

ThistimeBenjaminsidedwithme。

"Nothingcanmakemattersworsethantheyare，sir，"hesaid。"IfImaybepermittedtoadvise，letherhaveherownway。"

TheMajorroseandtookthebookoutoftheItaliancabinet，towhichhehadconsigneditforsafe—keeping。

"Myyoungfriendtellsmethatsheinformedyouofherregrettableoutbreakoftemperafewdayssince，"hesaidashehandedmethevolume。"Iwasnotawareatthetimewhatbookshehadinherhandwhenshesofarforgotherselfastodestroythevase。WhenIleftyouinthestudy，IsupposedtheReportoftheTrialtobeinitscustomaryplaceonthetopshelfofthebook—case，andIownIfeltsomecuriositytoknowwhetheryouwouldthinkofexaminingthatshelf。Thebrokenvase——itisneedlesstoconcealitfromyounow——wasoneofapairpresentedtomebyyourhusbandandhisfirstwifeonlyaweekbeforethepoorwoman’sterribledeath。IfeltmyfirstpresentimentthatyouwereonthebrinkofdiscoverywhenIfoundyoulookingatthefragments，andIfancyIbetrayedtoyouthatsomethingofthesortwasdisturbingme。Youlookedasifyounoticedit。"

"Ididnoticeit，Major。AndItoohadavagueideathatIwasonthewaytodiscovery。Willyoulookatyourwatch？Havewewaitedhalfanhouryet？"

Myimpatiencehadmisledme。Theordealofthehalf—hourwasnotyetatanend。

Slowlyandmoreslowlytheheavyminutesfollowedeachother，andstilltherewerenosignsofmyhusband’sreturn。Wetriedtocontinueourconversation，andfailed。Nothingwasaudible；nosoundsbuttheordinarysoundsofthestreetdisturbedthedreadfulsilence。TryasImighttorepelit，therewasoneforebodingthoughtthatpressedcloserandcloseronmymindastheintervalofwaitingworeitswearywayon。IshudderedasI

askedmyselfifourmarriedlifehadcometoanend——ifEustacehadreallyleftme。

TheMajorsawwhatBenjamin’sslowerperceptionhadnotyetdiscovered——thatmyfortitudewasbeginningtosinkundertheunrelievedoppressionofsuspense。

"Come！"hesaid。"Letusgotothehotel。"

Itthenwantednearlyfiveminutestothehalf—hour。I_looked_

mygratitudetoMajorFitz—Davidforsparingmethoselastminutes：IcouldnotspeaktohimortoBenjamin。Insilencewethreegotintoacabanddrovetothehotel。

Thelandladymetusinthehall。NothinghadbeenseenorheardofEustace。Therewasaletterwaitingformeupstairsonthetableinoursitting—room。Ithadbeenleftatthehotelbyamessengeronlyafewminutessince。

Tremblingandbreathless，Iranupthestairs，thetwogentlemenfollowingme。Theaddressoftheletterwasinmyhusband’shandwriting。MyheartsankinmeasIlookedatthelines；therecouldbebutonereasonforhiswritingtome。Thatclosedenvelopeheldhisfarewellwords。Isatwiththeletteronmylap，stupefied，incapableofopeningit。

Kind—heartedBenjaminattemptedtocomfortandencourageme。TheMajor，withhislargerexperienceofwomen，warnedtheoldmantobesilent。

"Wait！"Iheardhimwhisper。"Speakingtoherwilldonogoodnow。Givehertime。"

Actingonasuddenimpulse，Iheldoutthelettertohimashespoke。Evenmomentsmightbeofimportance，ifEustacehadindeedleftme。Togivemetimemightbetolosetheopportunityofrecallinghim。

"Youarehisoldfriend，"Isaid。"Openhisletter，Major，andreaditforme。"

MajorFitz—Davidopenedtheletterandreaditthroughtohimself。Whenhehaddonehethrewitonthetablewithagesturewhichwasalmostagestureofcontempt。

"Thereisbutoneexcuseforhim，"hesaid。"Themanismad。"

Thosewordstoldmeall。Iknewtheworst；and，knowingit，I

couldreadtheletter。Itranthus：

"MYBELOVEDVALERIA——Whenyoureadtheselinesyoureadmyfarewellwords。Ireturntomysolitaryunfriendedlife——mylifebeforeIknewyou。

"Mydarling，youhavebeencruellytreated。Youhavebeenentrappedintomarryingamanwhohasbeenpubliclyaccusedofpoisoninghisfirstwife——andwhohasnotbeenhonorablyandcompletelyacquittedofthecharge。Andyouknowit！

"CanyouliveontermsofmutualconfidenceandmutualesteemwithmewhenIhavecommittedthisfraud，andwhenIstandtowardyouinthisposition？Itwaspossibleforyoutolivewithmehappilywhileyouwereinignoranceofthetruth。Itis_not_

possible，nowyouknowall。

"No！theoneatonementIcanmakeis——toleaveyou。Youronechanceoffuturehappinessistobedisassociated，atonceandforever，frommydishonoredlife。Iloveyou，Valeria——truly，devotedly，passionately。Butthespecterofthepoisonedwomanrisesbetweenus。ItmakesnodifferencethatIaminnocentevenofthethoughtofharmingmyfirstwife。Myinnocencehasnotbeenproved。Inthisworldmyinnocencecanneverbeproved。Youareyoungandloving，andgenerousandhopeful。Blessothers，Valeria，withyourrareattractionsandyourdelightfulgifts。

Theyareofnoavailwith_me。_Thepoisonedwomanstandsbetweenus。Ifyoulivewithmenow，youwillseeherasIseeher。

_That_tortureshallneverbeyours。Iloveyou。Ileaveyou。

"Doyouthinkmehardandcruel？Waitalittle，andtimewillchangethatwayofthinking。Astheyearsgoonyouwillsaytoyourself，’Baselyashedeceivedme，therewassomegenerosityinhim。Hewasmanenoughtoreleasemeofhisownfreewill。’

"Yes，Valeria，Ifully，freelyreleaseyou。Ifitbepossibletoannulourmarriage，letitbedone。Recoveryourlibertybyanymeansthatyoumaybeadvisedtoemploy；andbeassuredbeforehandofmyentireandimplicitsubmission。Mylawyershavethenecessaryinstructionsonthissubject。Yourunclehasonlytocommunicatewiththem，andIthinkhewillbesatisfiedofmyresolutiontodoyoujustice。TheoneinterestthatIhavenowleftinlifeismyinterestinyourwelfareandyourhappinessinthetimetocome。YourwelfareandyourhappinessarenolongertobefoundinyourunionwithMe。

"Icanwritenomore。Thisletterwillwaitforyouatthehotel。

Itwillbeuselesstoattempttotraceme。Iknowmyownweakness。Myheartisallyours：ImightyieldtoyouifIletyouseemeagain。

"Showtheselinestoyouruncle，andtoanyfriendswhoseopinionsyoumayvalue。Ihaveonlytosignmydishonoredname，andeveryonewillunderstandandapplaudmymotiveforwritingasIdo。Thenamejustifies——amplyjustifies——theletter。Forgiveandforgetme。Farewell。

"EUSTACEMACALLAN。"

Inthosewordshetookhisleaveofme。Wehadthenbeenmarried——sixdays。

CHAPTERXIV。

THEWOMAN’SANSWER。

THUSfarIhavewrittenofmyselfwithperfectfrankness，and，I

thinkImayfairlyadd，withsomecourageaswell。MyfranknessfailsmeandmycouragefailsmewhenIlookbacktomyhusband’sfarewellletter，andtrytorecallthestormofcontendingpassionsthatitrousedinmymind。No！Icannottellthetruthaboutmyself——Idarenottellthetruthaboutmyself——atthatterribletime。Men！consultyourobservationofwomen，andimaginewhatIfelt；women！lookintoyourownhearts，andseewhatIfelt，foryourselves。

WhatI_did，_whenmymindwasquietagain，isaneasiermattertodealwith。Iansweredmyhusband’sletter。Myreplytohimshallappearinthesepages。Itwillshow，insomedegree，whateffect（ofthelastingsort）hisdesertionofmeproducedonmymind。Itwillalsorevealthemotivesthatsustainedme，thehopesthatanimatedme，inthenewandstrangelifewhichmynextchaptersmustdescribe。

Iwasremovedfromthehotelinthecareofmyfatherlyoldfriend，Benjamin。Abedroomwaspreparedformeinhislittlevilla。ThereIpassedthefirstnightofmyseparationfrommyhusband。Towardthemorningmywearybraingotsomerest——I

slept。

Atbreakfast—timeMajorFitz—Davidcalledtoinquireaboutme。Hehadkindlyvolunteeredtogoandspeakformetomyhusband’slawyersontheprecedingday。TheyhadadmittedthattheyknewwhereEustacehadgone，buttheydeclaredatthesametimethattheywerepositivelyforbiddentocommunicatehisaddresstoanyone。Inotherrespectstheir"instructions"inrelationtothewifeoftheirclientwere（astheywerepleasedtoexpressit）

"generoustoafault。"Ihadonlytowritetothem，andtheywouldfurnishmewithacopybyreturnofpost。

ThiswastheMajor’snews。Herefrained，withthetactthatdistinguishedhim，fromputtinganyquestionstomebeyondquestionsrelatingtothestateofmyhealth。Theseanswered，hetookhisleaveofmeforthatday。HeandBenjaminhadalongtalktogetherafterwardinthegardenofthevilla。

IretiredtomyroomandwrotetomyuncleStarkweather，tellinghimexactlywhathadhappened，andinclosinghimacopyofmyhusband’sletter。Thisdone，Iwentoutforalittlewhiletobreathethefreshairandtothink。Iwassoonweary，andwentbackagaintomyroomtorest。MykindoldBenjaminleftmeatperfectlibertytobealoneaslongasIpleased。TowardtheafternoonIbegantofeelalittlemorelikemyoldselfagain。I

meanbythisthatIcouldthinkofEustacewithoutburstingoutcrying，andcouldspeaktoBenjaminwithoutdistressingandfrighteningthedearoldman。

ThatnightIhadalittlemoresleep。ThenextmorningIwasstrongenoughtoconfrontthefirstandforemostdutythatInowowedtomyself——thedutyofansweringmyhusband’sletter。

Iwrotetohiminthesewords：

"Iamstilltooweakandweary，Eustace，towritetoyouatanylength。Butmymindisclear。Ihaveformedmyownopinionofyouandyourletter；andIknowwhatImeantodonowyouhaveleftme。Somewomen，inmysituation，mightthinkthatyouhadforfeitedallrighttotheirconfidence。Idon’tthinkthat。SoI

writeandtellyouwhatisinmymindintheplainestandfewestwordsthatIcanuse。

"Yousayyouloveme——andyouleaveme。Idon’tunderstandlovingawomanandleavingher。Formypart，inspiteofthehardthingsyouhavesaidandwrittentome，andinspiteofthecruelmannerinwhichyouhaveleftme，Iloveyou——andIwon’tgiveyouup。

No！AslongasIliveImeantoliveyourwife。

"Doesthissurpriseyou？Itsurprises_me。_Ifanotherwomanwroteinthismannertoamanwhohadbehavedtoherasyouhavebehaved，Ishouldbequiteatalosstoaccountforherconduct。

Iamquiteatalosstoaccountformyownconduct。Ioughttohateyou，andyetIcan’thelplovingyou。Iamashamedofmyself；butsoitis。

"Youneedfeelnofearofmyattemptingtofindoutwhereyouare，andofmytryingtopersuadeyoutoreturntome。Iamnotquitefoolishenoughtodothat。Youarenotinafitstateofmindtoreturntome。Youareallwrong，allover，fromheadtofoot。Whenyougetrightagain，Iamvainenoughtothinkthatyouwillreturntomeofyourownaccord。AndshallIbeweakenoughtoforgiveyou？Yes！Ishallcertainlybeweakenoughtoforgiveyou。

"Buthowareyoutogetrightagain？

"Ihavepuzzledmybrainsoverthisquestionbynightandbyday，andmyopinionisthatyouwillnevergetrightagainunlessI

helpyou。

"HowamItohelpyou？

"Thatquestioniseasilyanswered。WhattheLawhasfailedtodoforyou，yourWifemustdoforyou。DoyourememberwhatIsaidwhenweweretogetherinthebackroomatMajorFitz—David’shouse？Itoldyouthatthefirstthoughtthatcametome，whenI

heardwhattheScotchjuryhaddone，wasthethoughtofsettingtheirvileVerdictright。Well！Yourletterhasfixedthisideamorefirmlyinmymindthanever。TheonlychancethatIcanseeofwinningyoubacktome，inthecharacterofapenitentandlovinghusband，istochangethatunderhandScotchVerdictofNotProvenintoanhonestEnglishVerdictofNotGuilty。

"Areyousurprisedattheknowledgeofthelawwhichthiswayofwritingbetraysinanignorantwoman？Ihavebeenlearning，mydear：theLawandtheLadyhavebegunbyunderstandingoneanother。InplainEnglish，IhavelookedintoOgilvie’s’ImperialDictionary，’andOgilvietellsme，’AverdictofNotProvenonlyindicatesthat，intheopinionofthejury，thereisadeficiencyintheevidencetoconvicttheprisoner。AverdictofNotGuiltyimportsthejury’sopinionthattheprisonerisinnocent。’

Eustace，thatshallbetheopinionoftheworldingeneral，andoftheScotchjuryinparticular，inyourcase。TothatoneobjectIdedicatemylifetocome，ifGodspareme！

"Whowillhelpme，whenIneedhelp，ismorethanIyetknow。

TherewasatimewhenIhadhopedthatweshouldgohandinhandtogetherindoingthisgoodwork。Thathopeisatanend。Inolongerexpectyou，oraskyou，tohelpme。Amanwhothinksasyouthinkcangivenohelptoanybody——itishismiserableconditiontohavenohope。Sobeit！Iwillhopefortwo，andwillworkfortwo；andIshallfindsomeonetohelpme——neverfear——ifIdeserveit。

"Iwillsaynothingaboutmyplans——IhavenotreadtheTrialyet。ItisquiteenoughformethatIknowyouareinnocent。

Whenamanisinnocent，there_must_beawayofprovingit：theonethingneedfulistofindtheway。Soonerorlater，withorwithoutassistance，Ishallfindit。Yes！beforeIknowanysingleparticularoftheCase，Itellyoupositively——Ishallfindit！

"Youmaylaughoverthisblindconfidenceonmypart，oryoumaycryoverit。Idon’tpretendtoknowwhetherIamanobjectforridiculeoranobjectforpity。OfonethingonlyIamcertain：I

meantowinyouback，amanvindicatedbeforetheworld，withoutastainonhischaracterorhisname——thankstohiswife。

"Writetome，sometimes，Eustace；andbelieveme，throughallthebitternessofthisbitterbusiness，yourfaithfulandloving"VALERIA。"

Therewasmyreply！Poorenoughasacomposition（Icouldwriteamuchbetterletternow），ithad，ifImaypresumetosayso，onemerit。ItwasthehonestexpressionofwhatIreallymeantandfelt。

IreadittoBenjamin。Hehelduphishandswithhiscustomarygesturewhenhewasthoroughlybewilderedanddismayed。"Itseemstherashestletterthateverwaswritten，"saidthedearoldman。

"Ineverheard，Valeria，ofawomandoingwhatyouproposetodo。

Lordhelpus！thenewgenerationisbeyondmyfathoming。IwishyouruncleStarkweatherwashere：Iwonderwhathewouldsay？Oh，dearme，whataletterfromawifetoahusband！Doyoureallymeantosendittohim？"

Iaddedimmeasurablytomyoldfriend’ssurprisebynotevenemployingthepost—office。Iwishedtoseethe"instructions"

whichmyhusbandhadleftbehindhim。SoItookthelettertohislawyersmyself。

Thefirmconsistedoftwopartners。Theybothreceivedmetogether。Onewasasoft，leanman，withasoursmile。Theotherwasahard，fatman，withill—temperedeyebrows。Itookagreatdisliketobothofthem。Ontheirside，theyappearedtofeelastrongdistrustofme。Webeganbydisagreeing。Theyshowedmemyhusband’s"instructions，"providing，amongotherthings，forthepaymentofoneclearhalfofhisincomeaslongashelivedtohiswife。Ipositivelyrefusedtotouchafarthingofhismoney。

Thelawyerswereunaffectedlyshockedandastonishedatthisdecision。Nothingofthesorthadeverhappenedbeforeinthewholecourseoftheirexperience。Theyarguedandremonstratedwithme。Thepartnerwiththeill—temperedeyebrowswantedtoknowwhatmyreasonswere。ThepartnerwiththesoursmileremindedhiscolleaguesatiricallythatIwasalady，andhadthereforenoreasonstogive。Ionlyanswered，"Besogoodastoforwardmyletter，gentlemen，"andleftthem。

IhavenowishtoclaimanycredittomyselfinthesepageswhichIdonothonestlydeserve。ThetruthisthatmyprideforbademetoaccepthelpfromEustace，nowthathehadleftme。Myownlittlefortune（eighthundredayear）hadbeensettledonmyselfwhenImarried。IthadbeenmorethanIwantedasasinglewoman，andIwasresolvedthatitshouldbeenoughformenow。Benjaminhadinsistedonmyconsideringhiscottageasmyhome。Underthesecircumstances，theexpensesinwhichmydeterminationtoclearmyhusband’scharactermightinvolvemeweretheonlyexpensesforwhichIhadtoprovide。Icouldaffordtobeindependent，andindependentIresolvedthatIwouldbe。

WhileIamoccupiedinconfessingmyweaknessandmyerrors，itisonlyrighttoaddthat，dearlyasIstilllovedmyunhappy，misguidedhusband，therewasonelittlefaultofhiswhichI

founditnoteasytoforgive。

Pardoningotherthings，Icouldnotquitepardonhisconcealingfrommethathehadbeenmarriedtoafirstwife。WhyIshouldhavefeltthissobitterlyasIdid，atcertaintimesandseasons，Iamnotabletoexplain。Jealousywasatthebottomofit，Isuppose。AndyetIwasnotconsciousofbeingjealous——especiallywhenIthoughtofthepoorcreature’smiserabledeath。Still，Eustaceoughtnottohavekept_that_

secretfromme，Iusedtothinktomyself，atoddtimeswhenI

wasdiscouragedandoutoftemper。Whatwould_he_havesaidifI

hadbeenawidow，andhadnevertoldhimofit？

ItwasgettingontowardeveningwhenIreturnedtothecottage。

Benjaminappearedtohavebeenonthelookoutforme。BeforeI

couldringatthebellheopenedthegardengate。

"Prepareyourselfforasurprise，mydear，"hesaid。"Youruncle，theReverendDoctorStarkweather，hasarrivedfromtheNorth，andiswaitingtoseeyou。Hereceivedyourletterthismorning，andhetookthefirsttraintoLondonassoonashehadreadit。"

Inanotherminutemyuncle’sstrongarmswereroundme。Inmyforlornposition，Ifeltthegoodvicar’skindness，intravelingallthewaytoLondontoseeme，verygratefully。Itbroughtthetearsintomyeyes——tears，withoutbitterness，thatdidmegood。

"Ihavecome，mydearchild，totakeyoubacktoyouroldhome，"

hesaid。"NowordscantellhowferventlyIwishyouhadneverleftyourauntandme。Well！well！wewon’ttalkaboutit。Themischiefisdone，andthenextthingistomenditaswellaswecan。IfIcouldonlygetwithinarm’s—lengthofthathusbandofyours，Valeria——There！there！Godforgiveme，IamforgettingthatIamaclergyman。WhatshallIforgetnext，Iwonder？

By—the—by，yourauntsendsyouherdearestlove。Sheismoresuperstitiousthanever。Thismiserablebusinessdoesn’tsurpriseherabit。Shesaysitallbeganwithyourmakingthatmistakeaboutyournameinsigningthechurchregister。Youremember？Wasthereeversuchstuff？Ah，she’safoolishwoman，thatwifeofmine！Butshemeanswell——agoodsoulatbottom。ShewouldhavetraveledallthewayherealongwithmeifIwouldhavelether。