第9章

Where,indeed,myfriend?Lookingaboutyou,youbegintolearnthatyoucannotdescribeyourwhereabouts.Idonotmarvelatthat.Noonefindshimselfplantedatlastinsoterriblyfoulamorass,ashewouldfainstandstillforeverondryground.

DrGrantlywasdisgusted;andalthoughhewashimselftootrueandthoroughinallhisfeelings,tobeabletosayaloudthatanygiantwaswrong,stillhehadasadfeelingwithinhisheartthattheworldwassinkingfromunderhim.Hewasstillsufficientlyexoterictothinkthatagoodstand-upfightinagoodcausewasagoodthing.NodoubthedidwishtobeBishopofWestminster,andwasanxioustocompassthatprefermentbyanymeansthatmightappeartohimtobefair.Andwhynot?Butthiswasnottheendofhisaspirations.Hewishedthatthegiantsmightprevailineverything,inbishopricsasinallothermatters;andhecouldnotunderstandthattheyshouldgivewayontheveryfirstappearanceofaskirmish.Inhisopentalkhewasloudagainstmanyagod;

butinhisheartofheartshewasbitterenoughagainstbothPorphyrionandOrion.

\'Mydeardoctor,itwouldnotdo;——notinthissession;itwouldnotindeed.\'Sohadspokentohimahalf-fledgedbutespeciallyesotericyoungmonster-cubattheTreasury,whoconsideredhimselfasuptoallthedodgesofhisparty,andregardedthearmyofmartyrswhosupporteditasaratherheavy,butveryusefulcollectionoffogies.DrGrantlyhadnotcaredtodiscussthematterwiththehalf-fledgedmonster-cub.Thebestlickedofallthemonsters,thegiantmostlikeagodofthemall,hadsaidawordortwotohim;andhealsohadsaidawordortwotothatgiant.Porphyrionhadtoldhimthatthebishopbillwouldnotdo;

andhe,inreturn,speakingwithawarmface,andbloodonhischeeks,hadtoldPorphyrionthathesawnoreasonwhythebillshouldnotdo.Thecourteousgianthadsmiledasheshookhisponderoushead,andthenthearchdeaconhadlefthim,unconsciouslyshakingsomedustfromhisshoes,ashepacedthepassagesoftheTreasurychambersforthelasttime.AshewalkedbacktohislodgingsinMountStreet,manythoughts,notaltogetherbadintheirnature,passedthroughhismind.Whyshouldhetroublehimselfaboutabishopric?Washenotwellashewas,inhisrectorydownatPlumstead?Mightitnotbeillforhimathisagetotransplanthimselfintonewsoil,toengageinnewduties,andliveamongnewpeople?WashenotusefulatBarchester,andrespectedalso;andmightitnotbepossiblethatupthereatWestminster,hemightberegardedmerelyasatoolwithwhichothermencouldwork?Hehadnotquitelikedthetoneofthatspeciallyexotericyoungmonster-cub,whohadclearlyregardedhimasadistinguishedfogyfromthearmyofmartyrs.HewouldtakehiswifebacktoBarsetshire,andtherelivecontentedwiththegoodthingswhichProvidencehadgivenhim.

Thosehighpoliticalgrapeshadbecomesour,mysneeringfriendswillsay.Well?Isitnotagoodthingthatgrapesshouldbecomesourwhichhangoutofreach?Ishenotwisewhocanregardallgrapesassourwhicharemanifestlytoohighforhishand?ThosegrapesoftheTreasurybench,forwhichgodsandgiantsfight,sufferingsomuchwhentheyareforcedtoabstainfromeating,andsomuchmorewhentheydoeat,——thosegrapesareverysourtome.

Iamsurethattheyareindigestible,andthatthosewhoeatthemundergoalltheillswhichtheRevalentaArabicaispreparedtocure.Andsoitwasnowwiththearchdeacon.HethoughtofthestrainwhichwouldhavebeenputonhisconsciencehadhecomeuptheretositinLondonasBishopofWestminster;andinthisframeofmindhewalkedhometohiswife.Duringthefirstfewmomentsofhisinterviewwithherallhisregretshadcomebackuponhim.

Indeed,itwouldhavehardlysuitedforhimthentohavepreachedthisnewdoctrineofruralcontentment.Thewifeofhisbosom,whomhesofullytrusted——hadsofullyloved——wishedforgrapesthathunghighuponthewall,andheknewthatitwaspasthispowertoteachheratthemomenttodropherambition.Anyteachingthathemighteffectinthatway,mustcomebydegrees.

Butbeforemanyminuteswereoverhehadtoldherofherfateandofhisowndecision.\'SowehadbettergobacktoPlumstead,\'hesaid;andshehadnotdissented.

\'IamsorryforpoorGriselda\'ssake,\'MrsGrantlyhadremarkedlaterintheevening,whentheywereagaintogether.

\'ButIthoughtshewastoremainwithLadyLufton?\'

\'Well;soshewillforalittletime.ThereisnoonewithwhomI

wouldsosoontrustheroutofmyowncareaswithLadyLufton.Sheisallthatonecandesire.\'

\'Exactly;andasfarasGriseldaisconcerned,IcannotsaythatI

thinksheistobepitied.\'

\'Nottobepitied,perhaps,\'saidMrsGrantly.\'But,yousee,archdeacon,LadyLufton,ofcourse,hasherownviews.\'

\'Herownviews?\'

\'ItishardlyanysecretthatsheisveryanxioustomakeamatchbetweenLordLuftonandGriselda.Andthoughthatmightbeaveryproperarrangementifitwerefixed——\'

\'LordLuftonmarryGriselda!\'saidthearchdeacon,speakingquickandraisinghiseyebrows.Hismindhadasyetbeentroubledbybutfewthoughtsrespectinghischild\'sfutureestablishment.\'Ihadneverdreamtofsuchathing.\'

\'Butotherpeoplehavedonemorethandreamtofit,archdeacon.Asregardsthematchitself,itwould,Ithink,beunobjectionable.

LordLuftonwillnotbeaveryrichman,buthispropertyisrespectable,andasfarasIcanlearn,hischaracterisonthewholegood.Iftheylikeeachother,Ishouldbecontentedwithsuchamarriage.But,Imustown,IamnotquitesatisfiedattheideaofleavingherallalonewithLadyLufton.Peoplewilllookonitasasettledthing,whenitisnotsettled——andveryprobablymaynotbesettled;andthatwilldothepoorgirlharm.Sheisverymuchadmired;therecanbenodoubtofthat;andLordDumbello——\'

Thearchdeaconopenedhiseyesstillwider.Hehadhadnoideathatsuchachoiceofsons-in-lawwasbeingpreparedforhim;and,totellthetruth,wasalmostbewilderedbytheheightofhiswife\'sambition.LordLufton,withhisbaronyandtwentythousandayear,mightbeacceptedasjustgoodenough;butfailinghimtherewasanembryomarquis,whosefortunewouldbemorethantentimesasgreat,allreadytoaccepthischild!Andthenhethought,ashusbandssometimeswillthink,ofSusanHardingasshewaswhenhehadgonea-courtingtoherundertheelmsbeforethehouseinthewarden\'sgarden,atBarchester,andofdearoldMrHarding,hiswife\'sfather,whostilllived,inhumblelodgingsinthatcity;andashethought,hewonderedatandadmiredthegreatnessofthatlady\'smind.\'InevercanforgiveLordDeTerrier,\'saidthelady,connectingvariouspointstogetherinhermind.

\'That\'snonsense,\'saidthearchdeacon.\'Youmustforgivehim.\'

\'AndImustconfessthatitannoysmetoleaveLondonatpresent.\'

\'Itcan\'tbehelped,\'saidthearchdeacon,somewhatgruffly;forhewasamanwho,oncertainpoints,chosetohavehisownway——andhadit.

\'Oh,no:Iknowitcan\'tbehelped,\'saidMrsGrantly,inatonewhichimpliedadeepinjury.\'Iknowitcan\'tbehelped.PoorGriselda!\'Andthentheywenttobed.OnthenextmorningGriseldacametoher,andinaninterviewthatwasstrictlyprivate,hermothersaidmoretoherthanshehadeveryetspoken,astotheprospectsofherfuturelife.Hitherto,onthissubject,MrsGrantlyhadsaidlittleornothing.ShewouldhavebeenwellpleasedthatherdaughtershouldhavereceivedtheincenseofLordLufton\'svows——or,perhaps,aswellpleasedhaditbeentheincenseofLordDumbello\'svows——withoutanyinterferenceonherpart.Insuchcaseherchild,sheknew,wouldhavetoldherwithquitesufficienteagerness,andthematterineithercasewouldhavebeenarrangedasaprettylovematch.ShehadnofearofanyimproprietyorofanyrashnessonGriselda\'spart.ShehadthoroughlyknownherdaughterwhensheboastedthatGriseldawouldneverindulgeinanunauthorizedpassion.Butasmattersnowstood,withthosetwostringstoherbow,andwiththatLufton-Grantlyalliancetreatyinexistence——ofwhichshe,Griseldaherselfknewnothing——mightitnotbepossiblethatthepoorchildshouldstumblethroughwantofadequatedirection?Guidedbythesethoughts,MrsGrantlyhadresolvedtosayafewwordsbeforesheleftLondon.Soshewrotealinetoherdaughter,andGriseldareachedMountStreetattwoo\'clockinLadyLufton\'scarriage,whichduringtheinterview,waitedforheratthebeer-shoproundthecorner.

\'Andpapawon\'tbeBishopofWestminster?\'saidtheyounglady,whenthedoingsofthegiantshadbeensufficientlyexplainedtomakeherunderstandthatallthosehopeswereover.

\'No,mydear;atanyratenotnow.\'

\'Whatashame!Ithoughtitwasallsettled.What\'sthegood,mamma,ofLordDeTerrierbeingPrimeMinister,ifhecan\'tmakewhomhelikesabishop?\'

\'Idon\'tthinkthatLordDeTerrierhasbehavedatallwelltoyourfather.However,that\'salongquestion,andwecan\'tgointoitnow.\'

\'HowgladthoseProudieswillbe!\'Griseldawouldhavetalkedbythehouronthissubjecthadhermotherallowedher,butitwasnecessarythatMrsGrantlyshouldgotoothermatters.ShebeganaboutLadyLufton,sayingwhatadearwomanherladyshipwas;andthenwentontosaythatGriseldawastoremaininLondonaslongasitsuitedherfriendandhostesstostaytherewithher;butadded,thatthismightprobablynotbeverylong,asitwasnotoriousthatLadyLufton,wheninLondon,wasalwaysinahurrytogetbacktoFramley.

\'ButIdon\'tthinksheisinsuchahurrythisyear,mamma,\'saidGriselda,whointhemonthofMaypreferredBrutonStreettoPlumstead,andhadnoobjectionwhatevertothecoronetonthepanelsofLadyLufton\'scoach.AndthenMrsGrantlycommencedherexplanation——verycautiously.\'No,mydear,Idaresaysheisnotinsuchahurrythisyear,——thatis,aslongasyouremainwithher.\'

\'Iamsuresheisverykind.\'

\'Sheisverykind,andyououghttoloveherverymuch.IknowI

do.IhavenofriendintheworldforwhomIhaveagreaterregardthanforLadyLufton.Itisthatwhichmakesmehappytoleaveyouwithher.\'

\'Allthesame,Iwishyouandpapahadremainedup;thatis,iftheyhadmadepapaabishop.\'

\'It\'snogoodthinkingofthatnow,mydear.WhatIparticularlywantedtosaytoyouwasthis:IthinkyoushouldknowwhataretheideaswhichLadyLuftonentertains.\'

\'Herideas!\'saidGriselda,whohadnevertroubledherselfmuchinthinkingaboutotherpeople\'sthoughts.

\'Yes,Griselda.WhileyouwerestayingdownatFramleyCourt,andalso,Isuppose,sinceyouhavebeenuphereinBrutonStreet,youmusthaveseenagooddealof——LordLufton.\'

\'Hedoesn\'tcomeveryoftentoBrutonStreet,——thatistosay,notveryoften.\'

\'H-m,\'ejaculatedMrsGrantly,verygently.Shewouldwillinglyhaverepressedthesoundaltogether,butithadbeentoomuchforher.IfshefoundreasontothinkthatLadyLuftonwasplayingherfalse,shewouldimmediatelytakeherdaughteraway,breakupthetreaty,andpreparefortheHartletopalliance.Suchwerethethoughtsthatranthroughhermind.ButsheknewallthewhilethatLadyLuftonwasnotfalse.ThefaultwasnotwithLadyLufton;nor,perhaps,altogetherwithLordLufton.MrsGrantlyhadunderstoodthefullforceofthecomplaintwhichLadyLuftonhadmadeagainstherdaughter;andthoughshehadofcoursedefendedherchild,andonthewholehaddefendedhersuccessfully,yetsheconfessedtoherselfthatGriselda\'schanceofafirst-rateestablishmentwouldbebetterifshewerealittlemoreimpulsive.

Amandoesnotwishtomarryastatue,letthestatuebeeversostatuesque.Shecouldnotteachherdaughtertobeimpulsive,anymorethanshecouldteachhertobesixfeethigh;butmightitnotbepossibletoteachhertoseemso?Thetaskwasaverydelicateone,evenforamother\'shand.\'Ofcoursehecannotbeathomenowasmuchashewasdownatthecountry,whenhewaslivinginthesamehouse,\'saidMrsGrantly,whosebusinessitwastotakeLordLufton\'spartatthepresentmoment.\'HemustbeathisclubandattheHouseofLords,andintwentyplaces.\'

\'Heisveryfondofgoingtoparties,andhedancesbeautifully.\'

\'Iamsurehedoes.Ihaveseenasmuchasthatmyself,andI

thinkIknowsomeonewithwhomhelikestodance.\'Andthemothergavethedaughteralovinglittlesqueeze.

\'Doyoumeanme,mamma?\'

\'Yes,Idomeanyou,mydear.Andisitnottrue?LadyLuftonsaysthathelikesdancingwithyoubetterthanwithanyoneelseinLondon.\'

\'Idon\'tknow,\'saidGriselda,lookingdownupontheground.MrsGrantlythoughtthatthisuponthewholewasratheragoodopening.Itmighthavebeenbetter.Somepointofinterestmoreseriousinitsnaturethanthatofawaltzmighthavebeenfoundonwhichtoconnectherdaughter\'ssympathieswiththoseofherfuturehusband.Butanypointofinterestwasbetterthannone;anditissodifficulttofindpointsofinterestinpersonswhobytheirnaturearenotimpulsive.

\'LadyLuftonsaysso,atanyrate,\'continuedMrsGrantly,eversocautiously.\'ShethinksthatLordLuftonlikesnopartnerbetter.

Whatdoyouthinkyourself,Griselda?\'

\'Idon\'tknow,mamma.\'

\'Butyoungladiesmustthinkofsuchthings,musttheynot?\'

\'Mustthey,mamma?\'

\'Isupposetheydo,don\'tthey?Thetruthis,Griselda,thatLadyLuftonthinksthatif——Canyouguesswhatshethinks?\'

\'No,mamma.\'ButthatwasafibonGriselda\'spart.

\'ShethinksthatmyGriseldawouldmakethebestpossiblewifeintheworldforherson:andIthinksotoo.Ithinkhersonwillbeaveryfortunatemanifhecangetsuchawife.Andnowwhatdoyouthink,Griselda?\'

\'Idon\'tthinkanything,mamma.\'Butthatwouldnotdo.Itwasabsolutelynecessarythatsheshouldthink,andabsolutelynecessarythathermothershouldtellherso.Suchadegreeofunimpulsivenessasthiswouldleadto——Heavenknowswhatresults!

Lufton-GrantlytreatiesandHartletopinterestswouldbeallthrownawayuponayoungladywhowouldnotthinkanythingofanoblesuitorsighingforhersmiles.Besides,itwasnotnatural.

Griselda,ashermotherknew,hadneverbeenagirlofheadlongfeeling;butstillshehadhadherlikesanddislikes.Inthatmatterofthebishopricshewaskeenenough;andnoonecouldevinceadeeperinterestinthesubjectofawell-madenewdressthanGriseldaGrantly.Itwasnotpossiblethatsheshouldbeindifferentastoherfutureprospects,andshemustknowthatthoseprospectsdependedmainlyonhermarriage.Hermotherwasalmostangrywithher,butneverthelessshewentonverygently.

\'Youdon\'tthinkanything!But,mydarling,youmustthink.YoumustmakeupyourmindwhatwouldbeyouranswerifLordLuftonweretoproposetoyou.ThatiswhatLadyLuftonwisheshimtodo.\'

\'Butheneverwill,mamma.\'

\'Andifhedid?\'

\'ButI\'msureheneverwill.Hedoesn\'tthinkofsuchathingatall——and——and——\'

\'Andwhat,mydear?\'

\'Idon\'tknow,mamma.\'

\'Surelyyoucanspeakouttome,dearest!AllIcareaboutisyourhappiness.BothLadyLuftonandIthinkthatitwouldbeahappymarriageifyoubothcaredforeachotherenough.Shethinksthatheisfondofyou.ButifheweretentimesLordLuftonIwouldnotteaseyouaboutitifIthoughtthatyoucouldnotlearntocareabouthim.Whatwasityouweregoingtosay,mydear?\'

\'LordLuftonthinksagreatdealmoreaboutLucyRobartsthanhedoesof——of——ofanyoneelse,Ibelieve,\'saidGriselda,showingnowsomelittleanimationbyhermanner,\'dumpylittleblackthingthatsheis.\'

\'LucyRobarts!\'saidMrsGrantly,takenbysurpriseatfindingthatherdaughterwasmovedbysuchapassionasjealousy,andfeelingalsoperfectlyassuredthattherecouldnotbeanypossiblegroundforjealousyinsuchadirectionasthat.\'LucyRobarts,mydear!

Idon\'tsupposeLordLuftoneverthoughtofspeakingtoher,exceptinthewayofcivility.\'

\'Yes,hedid,mamma!Don\'tyourememberatFramley?\'MrsGrantlybegantolookbackinhermind,andshethoughtshedidrememberhavingonceobservedLordLuftonspeakinginratheraconfidentialmannerwiththeparson\'ssister.Butshewassuretherewasnothinginit.IfthatwerethereasonwhyGriseldawassocoldtoherproposedlover,itwouldbeathousandpitiesthatitshouldnotberemoved.\'Nowyoumentionher,Idoremembertheyounglady,\'

saidMrsGrantly,\'adarkgirl,verylow,andwithoutmuchfigure.

Sheseemedtometokeepverymuchinthebackground.\'

\'Idon\'tknowmuchaboutthat,mamma.\'

\'AsfarasIsawher,shedid.But,mydearGriselda,youshouldnotallowyourselftothinkofsuchathing.LordLufton,ofcourse,isboundtobeciviltoanyyoungladyinhismother\'shouse,andIamquitesurethathehasnootherideawhateverwithregardtoMissRobarts.Icertainlycannotspeakastoherintellect,forIdonotthinksheopenedhermouthinmypresence;

but——\'

\'Oh!shehasplentytosayforherself,whenshepleases.She\'saslylittlething.\'

\'But,atanyrate,mydear,shehasnopersonalattractionswhatever,andIdonotatallthinkthatLordLuftonisamantobetakenby——by——byanythingthatMissRobartsmightdoorsay.\'Asthosewords\'personalattractions\'wereuttered,Griseldamanagedsototurnhernecktocatchasideviewofherselfinoneofthemirrorsonthewall,andthenshebridledherselfup,andmadealittleplaywithhereyes,andlooked,ashermotherthought,verywell.\'Itisallnothingtome,mamma,ofcourse,\'shesaid.

\'Well,mydear,perhapsnot.Idon\'tsaythatitis.Idonotwishtoputtheslightestconstraintuponyourfeelings.IfIdidnothavethemostthoroughdependenceonyourgoodsenseandhighprinciples,Ishouldnotspeaktoyouinthisway.ButasIhave,IthoughtitbesttotellyouthatbothLadyLuftonandIshouldbewellpleasedifwethoughtthatyouandLordLuftonwerefondofeachother.

\'Iamsureheneverthinksofsuchathing,mamma.\'

\'AndasforLucyRobarts,praygetthatideaoutofyourhead;ifnotforyoursake,thenforhis.Youshouldgivehimcreditforbettertaste.\'ButitwasnotsoeasytotakeanythingoutofGriselda\'sheadthatshehadoncetakenintoit.\'Asfortastes,mamma,thereisnoaccountingforthem,\'shesaid;andthenthecolloquyonthatsubjectwasover.TheresultofitonMrsGrantly\'smindwasafeelingamountingalmosttoaconvictioninfavouroftheDumbellointerest.

CHAPTERXXVI

IMPULSIVE

ItrustmyreaderswillallrememberhowPucktheponywasbeatenduringthatdrivetoHogglestock.ItmaybepresumedthatPuckhimselfonthatoccasiondidnotsuffermuch.HisskinwasnotsosoftasMrsRobarts\'sheart.Thelittlebeastwasfullofoatsandallthegoodthingsofthisworld,andtherefore,whenthewhiptouchedhim,hewoulddanceaboutandshakehislittleears,andrunonatatremendouspacefortwentyyards,makinghismistressthinkthathehadenduredterriblethings.But,intruth,duringthosewhippingsPuckwasnotthechiefsufferer.Lucyhadbeenforcedtodeclare——forcedbythestrengthofherownfeelings,andbytheimpossibilityofassentingtotheproprietyofamarriagebetweenLordLuftonandMissGrantly,——shehadbeenforcedtodeclarethatshedidcareaboutLordLuftonasmuchasthoughhewereherbrother.Shehadsaidallthistoherself——nay,muchmorethanthis——veryoften.Butnowshehadsaiditoutloudtohersister-in-law;andsheknewthatwhatshehadsaidwasremembered,considered,andhad,toacertainextent,becomethecauseofalteredconduct.FannyalludedveryseldomtotheLuftonsincasualconversation,andneverspokeaboutLordLuftonunlesswhenherhusbandmadeitimpossiblethatsheshouldnotspeakofhim.

Lucyhadattemptedonmorethanoneoccasiontoremedythis,bytalkingabouttheyounglordinalaughing,and,perhaps,half-jeeringway;shehadbeensarcasticastohishuntingandshooting,andhadboldlyattemptedtosayawordinjokeabouthisloveforGriselda.Butshefeltthatshehadfailed;thatshehadfailedaltogetherasregardedFanny;andthatastoherbrother,shewouldmoreprobablybethemeansofopeninghiseyes,thanhaveanyeffectinkeepingthemclosed.SoshegaveuphereffortsandspokenofurtherwordaboutLordLufton.Hersecrethadbeentold,andsheknewthatithadbeentold.Atthistimethetwoladieswereleftagreatdealalonetogetherinthedrawing-roomattheparsonage;more,perhaps,thanhadeveryetbeenthecasesinceLucyhadbeenthere.LadyLuftonwasaway,andthereforethealmostdailyvisittoFramleyCourtwasnotmade;andMarkinthesedayswasagreatdealatBarchester,having,nodoubt,veryonerousdutiestoperformbeforehecouldbeadmittedasoneofthechapter.Hewentinto,whathewaspleasedtocallresidence,almostatonce.Thatis,hetookhismonthofpreaching,aidingalso,insomeslightandverydignifiedway,inthegeneralSundaymorningservices.HedidnotexactlyliveatBarchester,becausethehousewasnotready.Thatatleastwastheassumedreason.

ThechattelsofDrStanhope,thelateprebendary,hadnotbeenasyetremoved,andtherewaslikelytobesomelittledelay,creditorsassertingtheirrighttothem.Thismighthavebeenveryinconvenienttoagentlemananxiouslyexpectingtheexcellenthousewhichtheliberalityofpastageshadprovidedforhisuse;butitwasnotsofeltbyMrRobarts.IfDrStanhope\'sfamilyorcreditorswouldkeepthehouseforthenexttwelvemonths,hewouldbewellpleased.AndbythisarrangementhewasenabledtogetthroughhisfirstmonthofabsencefromthechurchatFramleywithoutanynoticefromLadyLufton,seeingthatLadyLuftonwasinLondonallthetime.Thiswasalsoconvenient,andtaughtouryoungprebendarytolookinhisnewprefermentmorefavourablythanhehadhithertodone.

FannyandLucywerethusleftmuchalone:andasoutofthefullheadthemouthspeaks,soisthefullheartmorepronetospeakatsuchperiodsofconfidenceasthese.Lucy,whenshefirstthoughtofherownstate,determinedtoendowherselfwithapowerfulgiftofreticence.Shewouldnevertellherlove,certainly;butneitherwouldsheletconcealmentfeedonherdamaskcheek,norwouldsheeverbefoundforamomentsittinglikePatienceonamonument.Shewouldfightherownfightbravelywithinherownbosom,andconquerherenemyaltogether.Shewouldeitherpreach,orstarve,orwearyherloveintosubjection,andnooneshouldbeabitthewiser.ShewouldteachherselftoshakehandswithLordLuftonwithoutaquiver,andwouldbepreparedtolikehiswifeamazingly——unlessindeedthatwifeshouldbeGriseldaGrantly.Suchwereherresolutions;butattheendofthefirstweektheywerebrokenintoshiversandscatteredtothewinds.Theyhadbeensittinginthehousetogetherthewholeofonewetday;andasMarkwastodineatBarchesterwiththedean,theyhadhaddinnerearly,eatingwiththechildrenalmostintheirlaps.Itissothatladiesdo,whentheirhusbandsleavethemtothemselves.Itwasgettingdusktowardsevening,andtheyweresittinginthedrawing-room,thechildrennowhavingretired,whenMrsRobartsforthefifthtimesincehervisittoHogglestockbegantoexpressherwishthatshecoulddosomegoodtotheCrawleys,——toGraceCrawleyinparticular,who,standingupthereatherfather\'selbow,learningGreekirregularverbs,hadappearedtoMrsRobartstobeanespecialobjectofpity.

\'Idon\'tknowhowtosetaboutit,\'saidMrsRobarts.NowanyallusiontothatvisittoHogglestockalwaysdroveLucy\'smindbacktotheconsiderationofthesubjectwhichhadmostoccupieditatthetime.SheatsuchmomentsrememberedhowshehadbeatenPuck,andhowinherhalf-banteringbutstilltooseriousmannershehadapologizedfordoingso,andhadexplainedthereason.AndthereforeshedidnotinterestherselfaboutGraceCrawleyasvividlyassheshouldhavedone.\'No;oneneverdoes,\'shesaid.

\'IwasthinkingaboutitalldayasIdrovehome,\'saidFanny.\'Thedifficultyisthis:Whatcanwedowithher?\'

\'Exactly,\'saidLucy,rememberingtheverypointoftheroadatwhichshehaddeclaredthatshedidlikeLordLuftonverymuch.

\'Ifwecouldhaveherhereforamonthorsoandthensendhertoschool;——butIknowMrCrawleywouldnotallowustopayforherschooling.\'

\'Idon\'tthinkhewould,\'saidLucy,withherthoughtsfarremovedfromMrCrawleyandhisdaughterGrace.

\'Andthenweshouldnotknowwhattodowithher,shouldwe?\'

\'No;youwouldnot.\'

\'Itwouldneverdotohavethepoorgirlaboutthehousehere,withnoonetoteachheranything.MarkwouldnotteachherGreekverbs,youknow.\'

\'Isupposenot.\'

\'Lucy,youarenotattendingtoawordIsaytoyou,andIdon\'tthinkyouhaveforthelasthour.Idon\'tbelieveyouknowwhatI

amtalkingabout.\'

\'Oh,yes,Ido——GraceCrawley;I\'lltryandteachherifyoulike,onlyIdon\'tknowanythingmyself.\'

\'That\'snotwhatImeanatall,andyouknowIwouldnotaskyoutotakesuchataskonyourself.ButIdothinkyoumighttalkitoverwithme.\'

\'MightI?verywell;Iwill.Whatisit?Oh,GraceCrawley——youwanttoknowwhoistoteachhertheirregularGreekverbs.Oh,dear,Fanny,myheaddoesacheso;praydon\'tbeangrywithme.\'

AndthenLucy,throwingherselfbackonthesofa,putonehanduppainfullytoherforehead,andaltogethergaveupthebattle.MrsRobartswasbyhersideinamoment.

\'DearestLucy,whatisitmakesyourheadachesooftennow?Youusednottohavethoseheadaches.\'

\'It\'sbecauseI\'mgrowingstupid:nevermind.WewillgoonaboutpoorGrace.Itwouldnotdotohaveagoverness,wouldit?\'

\'Icanseethatyouarenotwell,Lucy,\'saidMrsRobarts,withalookofdeepconcern.\'Whatisit,dearest?Icanseethatsomethingisthematter.\'

\'Somethingthematter!No,there\'snot;nothingworthtalkingof.

SometimesIthinkI\'llgobacktoDevonshireandlivethere.I

couldstaywithBlancheforatime,andthengetalodginginExeter.\'

\'GobacktoDevonshire!\'andMrsRobartslookedasthoughshethoughtthathersister-in-lawwasgoingmad.\'Whydoyouwanttogoawayfromus?Thisistobeyourown,ownhome,alwaysnow.\'

\'Isit?ThenIaminabadway.Ohdear,ohdear,whatafoolI

am!WhatanidiotI\'vebeen!Fanny,Idon\'tthinkIcanstayhere;

andIdowishI\'dnevercome.Ido——do——do,thoughyoulookatmesohorribly,\'andjumpingupshethrewherselfintohersister-in-law\'sarmsandbegankissingherviolently.\'Don\'tpretendtobewounded,foryouknowthatIloveyou.YouknowthatIcouldlivewithallmylife,andthinkyouwereperfect——asyouare;but——\'

\'HasMarksaidanything?\'

\'Notaword——notaghostofasyllable.ItisnotMark;oh,Fanny!\'

\'IamafraidIknowwhatyoumean,\'saidMrsRobartsinalowtremulousvoice,andwithdeepsorrowpaintedonherface.

\'Ofcourseyoudo;ofcourseyouknow;youhaveknownitallalong;

sincethatdayintheponycarriage.Iknewthatyouknewit.Youdonotdaretomentionhisname;wouldnotthattellmethatyouknowit?AndI,IamhypocriteenoughforMark;butmyhypocrisywon\'tpassmusterbeforeyou.And,now,hadInotbettergotoDevonshire?\'

\'Dearest,dearestLucy.\'

\'WasInotrightaboutthatlabelling?Oheavens!whatidiotswegirlsare!Thatadozensoftwordsshouldhavebowledmeoverlikeaninepin,andleftmewithoutaninchofgroundtocallmyown.

AndIwassoproudofmyownstrength;sosurethatIshouldneverbemissish,andspoony,andsentimental!IwassodeterminedtolikehimasMarkdoes,oryou——\'

\'Ishallnotlikehimatallifhehasspokenwordstoyouthatheshouldnothavespoken.\'

\'Buthehasnot.\'Andthenshestoppedamomenttoconsider.\'No,hehasnot.Heneversaidawordtomethatwouldmakeyouangrywithhimifyouknewofit.Except,perhaps,thathecalledmeLucy;andthatwasmyfault,nothis.\'

\'Becauseyoutalkedofsoftwords.\'

\'Fanny,youhavenoideawhatanabsolutefoolIam,whatanunutterableass.ThesoftwordsofwhichItellyouwereofthekindwhichhespeakstoyouwhenheasksyouhowthecowgetsonwhichhesenttoyoufromIreland,ortoMarkaboutPonto\'sshoulder.Hetoldmethatheknewpapa,andthathewasatschoolwithMark,andthatashewassuchgoodfriendswithyouhereattheparsonage,hemustbegoodfriendswithmetoo.No;ithasnotbeenhisfault.Thesoftwordswhichdidthemischiefweresuchasthose.Buthowwellhismotherunderstoodtheworld!Inordertohavebeensafe,Ishouldnothavedaredtolookathim.\'

\'But,dearestLucy——\'

\'Iknowwhatyouaregoingtosay,andIadmititall.Heisnohero.Thereisnothingonearthwonderfulabouthim.Ineverheardhimsayasinglewordofwisdom,orutterathoughtthatwasakintopoetry.Hedevotesallhisenergiestoridingafterafoxorkillingpoorbirds,andIneverheardofhisdoingasinglegreatactioninmylife.Andyet——\'Fannywassoastoundedbythewayhersister-in-lawwenton,thatshehardlyknewhowtospeak.

\'Heisanexcellentson,Ibelieve,\'atlastshesaid.

\'ExceptwhenhegoestoGatherumCastle.I\'lltellyouwhathehas:hehasfinestraightlegs,andasmoothforehead,andagood-humouredeye,andwhiteteeth.Wasitpossibletoseesuchacatalogueofperfections,andnotfalldown,strickentotheverybone?Butitwasnotthatthatdiditall,Fanny.Icouldhavestoodagainstthat.IthinkIcouldatleast.Itwashistitlethatkilledme.Ihadneverspokentoalordbefore.Oh,me!whatafool,whatabeastIhavebeen!\'Andthensheburstoutintotears.MrsRobarts,totellthetruth,couldhardlyunderstandpoorLucy\'sailment.Itwasevidentenoughthathermiserywasreal;butyetshespokeofherselfandhersufferingswithsomuchirony,withsonearanapproachtojoking,thatitwasveryhardtotellhowfarshewasinearnest.Lucy,too,wassomuchgiventoaspeciesofbadinagewhichMrsRobartsdidnotalwaysquiteunderstand,thatthelatterwasafraidsometimestospeakoutwhatcameuppermosttohertongue.ButnowthatLucywasabsolutelyintears,andwasalmostbreathlesswithexcitement,shecouldnotremainsilentanylonger.\'DearestLucy,praydonotspeakinthatway;itwillallcomeright.Thingsalwaysdocomerightwhennoonehasactedwrongly.\'

\'Yes,whennobodyhasdonewrongly.That\'swhatpapausedtocallbeggingthequestion.ButI\'lltellyouwhat,Fanny;Iwillnotbebeaten.Iwilleitherkillmyselforgetthroughit.Iamsoheartilyself-ashamedthatIoweittomyselftofightthebattleout.\'

\'Tofightwhatbattle,dearest?\'

\'Thisbattle.Here,now,atthepresentmomentIcouldnotmeetLordLufton.Ishouldhavetorunlikeascaredfowlifheweretoshowhimselfwithinthegate;andIshouldnotdaretogooutofthehouse,ifIknewthathewasintheparish.\'

\'Idon\'tseethat,forIamsureyouhavenotbetrayedyourself.\'

\'Well,no;asformyself,IbelieveIhavedonethelyingandthehypocrisyprettywell.But,dearestFanny,youdon\'tknowhalf;

andyoucannotandmustnotknow.\'

\'ButIthoughtyousaidtherehadbeennothingwhateverbetweenyou.\'

\'DidI?Well,toyouIhavenotsaidawordthatwasnottrue.I

saidthathehadspokennothingthatitwaswrongforhimtosay.

Itcouldnotbewrong——Butnevermind.I\'lltellyouwhatImeantodo.Ihavebeenthinkingofitforthelastweek——onlyIshallhavetotellMark.\'

\'IfIwereyou,Iwouldtellhimall.\'

\'What,Mark!Ifyoudo,Fanny,I\'llnever,never,neverspeaktoyouagain.Wouldyou——whenIhavegivenyouallmyheartintruesisterlylove?\'MrsRobartshadtoexplainthatshehadnotproposedtotellanythingtoMarkherself,andwaspersuaded,moreover,togiveasolemnpromisethatshewouldnottellanythingtohimunlessspeciallyauthorizedtodoso.

\'I\'llgointoahome,Ithink,\'continuedLucy.\'Youknowwhatthesehomesare?\'MrsRobartsassuredherthatsheknewverywell,andthenLucywenton:\'AyearagoIshouldhavesaidthatIwasthelastgirlinEnglandtothinkofsuchalife,butIdobelievenowthatitwouldbethebestthingforme.AndthenI\'llstarvemyself,andflogmyself,and,inthatwayI\'llgetbackmyownmindandmyownsoul.\'

\'Yourownsoul,Lucy,\'saidMrsRobarts,inatoneofhorror.

\'Well,myownheart,ifyoulikeitbetter;butIhatetohearmyselftalkingabouthearts.Idon\'tcareformyheart.I\'dletitgo——withthispopinjaylordoranyoneelse,sothatIcouldread,andtalk,andwalk,andsleep,andeat,withoutalwaysfeelingthatIwaswronghere——here——here——\'andshepressedherhandvehementlyagainstherside.\'WhatisitthatIfeel,Fanny?

WhyamIsoweakinbodythatIcannottakeexercise?WhycannotI

keepmymindonabookforonemoment?WhycanInotwritetwosentencestogether?WhyshouldeverymouthfulthatIeatstickinmythroat?Oh,Fanny,isithislegs,thinkyou,orisithistitle?\'Throughallhersorrow——andshewasverysorrowful——MrsRobartscouldnothelpsmiling.And,indeed,therewaseverynowandthensomethingeveninLucy\'slookthatwasalmostcomic.Sheactedtheironysowellwithwhichshestrovetothrowridiculeonherself!\'Dolaughatme,\'shesaid.\'Nothingonearthwilldomesomuchgoodasthat;nothing,unlessitbestarvationandawhip.

IfyouwouldonlytellmethatImustbeasneakandanidiottocareforamanbecauseheisgood-lookingandalord!\'

\'Butthathasnotbeenthereason.ThereisagreatdealmoreinLordLuftonthanthat;andsinceImustspeak,dearLucy,IcannotbutsaythatIshouldnotwonderatyourbeinginlovewithhim,only——onlythat——\'

\'Onlywhat?Come,outwithit.Donotmincematters,orthinkthatIshallbeangrywithyoubecauseyouscoldme.\'

\'OnlythatIshouldhavethoughtthatyouwouldhavebeentooguardedtohave——havecaredforanygentlemantill——tillhehadshownthathecaredforyou.\'

\'Guarded!Yes,that\'sit;that\'sjusttheword.Butit\'shethatshouldhavebeenguarded.Heshouldhavehadafire-guardhungbeforehim,oralove-guard,ifyouwill.Guarded!WasInotguarded,tillyouallwoulddragmeout?DidIwanttogothere?

AndwhenIwasthere,didInotmakeafoolofmyself,sittinginacorner,andthinkinghowmuchbetterplacedIshouldhavebeendownintheservants\'hall.LadyLufton——shedraggedmeout,andthencautionedme,andthen,then——WhyisLadyLuftontohaveitallherownway?WhyamItobesacrificedforher?IdidnotwanttoknowLadyLufton,oranyonebelongingtoher.\'

\'IcannotthinkthatyouhaveanycausetoblameLadyLufton,nor,perhaps,toblameanybodyverymuch.\'

\'Well,no,ithasbeenallmyownfault;though,forthelifeofme,Fanny,goingbackandback,IcannotseewhereItookthefirstfalsestep.IdonotknowwhereIwentwrong.OnewrongthingI

did,anditistheonlythingthatIdonotregret.\'

\'Whatwasthat,Lucy?\'

\'Itoldhimalie.\'

MrsRobartswasaltogetherinthedark,andfeelingthatshewasso,sheknewthatshecouldnotgivecounselasafriendorsister.Lucyhadbegunbydeclaring——soMrsRobartsthought——thatnothinghadpassedbetweenherandLordLuftonbutwordsofmosttrivialimport,andyetshenowaccusedherselfoffalsehood,anddeclaredthatthatfalsehoodwastheonlythingwhichshedidnotregret!

\'Ihopenot,\'saidMrsRobarts.\'Ifyoudid,youwereveryunlikeyourself.\'

\'ButIdid,andwerehehereagain,speakingtomeinthesameway,Ishouldrepeatit.IknowIshould.IfIdidnot,Ishouldhavealltheworldonme.Youwouldfrownonme,andbecold.MydarlingFanny,howwouldyoulookifIreallydispleasuredyou?\'

\'Idon\'tthinkyouwilldothat,Lucy.\'

\'ButifItoldhimthetruth,Ishould,shouldInot?Speaknow.

Butno,Fanny,youneednotspeak.Itwasnotthefearofyou;no,norevenofher:thoughHeavenknowsthatherterribleglumnesswouldbequiteunendurable.\'

\'Icannotunderstandyou,Lucy.Whattruthorwhatuntruthcanyouhavetoldhim,if,asyousay,therehasbeennothingbetweenyoubutordinaryconversation?\'

Lucythengotupfromthesofa,andwalkedtwicethelengthoftheroombeforeshespoke.MrsRobartshadalltheordinarycuriosity——Iwasgoingtosay,ofawoman,butImeantosay,ofhumanity;andshehad,moreover,alltheloveofasister.Shewasbothcuriousandanxious,andremainedsittingwhereshewas,silent,andhereyesfixedonhercompanion.\'DidIsayso?\'Lucysaidatlast.\'No,Fanny,youhavemistakenme——Ididnotsaythat.Ah,yes,aboutthecowandthedog.Allthatwastrue.I

wastellingyouofwhathissoftwordshadbeenwhileIwasbecomingsuchafool.Sincethathehassaidmore.\'

\'Whatmorehashesaid,Lucy?\'

\'Iyearntotellyou,ifonlyIcantrustyou;\'andLucykneltdownatthefeetofMrsRobarts,lookingupintoherfaceandsmilingthroughtheremainingdropsofhertears.\'Iwouldfaintellyou,butIdonotknowyouyet——whetheryouarequitetrue.Icouldbetrue——trueagainstalltheworld,ifmyfriendtoldme.Iwilltellyou,Fanny,ifyousaythatyoucanbetrue.Butifyoudoubtyourself,ifyoumustwhisperalltoMark——thenletusbesilent.\'

TherewassomethingalmostawfulinthistoMrsRobarts.Hitherto,sincetheirmarriage,hardlyathoughthadpassedthroughhermindwhichshehadnotsharedwithherhusband.Butnowallthishadcomeuponhersosuddenly,thatshewasunabletothinkwhetheritwouldbewellthatsheshouldbecomethedepositoryofsuchasecret——nottobementionedtoLucy\'sbrother,nottobementionedtoherownhusband.Butwhoeveryetwasofferedasecretanddeclinedit?Whoatleasteverdeclinedalovesecret?Whatsistercoulddoso?MrsRobarts,therefore,gavethepromise,smoothingLucy\'shairasshedidso,andkissingherforeheadandlookingintohereyes,which,likearainbow,werethebrighterforhertears.\'Andwhathashesaidtoyou,Lucy?\'

\'What?Onlythis,thatheaskedmetobehiswife.\'

\'LordLuftonproposedtoyou?\'

\'Yes;heproposedtome.Itisnotcredible,isit?Youcannotbringyourselftobelievesuchathinghappened,canyou?\'AndLucyroseagaintoherfeet,astheideaofthescornwithwhichshefeltotherswouldtreather——withwhichshehadtreatedherself——madethebloodrisetohercheek.\'Andyetitisnotadream——Ithinkthatitisnotadream.Ithinkthathereallydid.\'

\'Think,Lucy!\'

\'Well,ImaysaythatIamsure.\'

\'Agentlemanwouldnotmakeyouaformalproposalandleaveyouindoubtastowhathemeant.\'

\'Ohdear,no.Therewasnodoubtatallofthatkind——noneintheleast.MrSmith,inaskingMissJonestodohimthehonourofbecomingMrsSmith,neverspokemoreplainly.Iwasalludingtothepossibilityofhavingdreamtitall.\'

\'Lucy!\'

\'Well,itwasnotadream.Here,standinghere,onthisveryspot——onthatflowerofthecarpet——hebeggedmeadozentimestobehiswife.IwonderwhetheryouandMarkwouldletmecutitoutandkeepit.\'

\'Andwhatanswerdidyoumaketohim?\'

\'Iliedtohim,andtoldhimthatIdidnotlovehim.\'

\'Yourefusedhim?\'\'Yes;Irefusedalivelord.Thereissomesatisfactioninhavingthattothinkof,istherenot?Fanny,wasIwickedtotellthatfalsehood?\'

\'Andwhydidyourefusehim?\'

\'Why?Canyouask?ThinkofwhatitwouldhavebeentogodowntoFramleyCourt,andtotellherladyship,inthecourseofconversation,thatIwasengagedtoherson.ThinkofLadyLufton.Butyetitwasnotthat,Fanny.HadIthoughtthatitwasgoodforhim,thathewouldnothaverepented,Iwouldhavebravedanything——forhissake.Evenforyourfrown,foryouwouldhavefrowned.YouwouldhavethoughtitsacrilegeformetomarryLordLufton!Youknowyouwould.\'

MrsRobartshardlyknewhowtosaywhatshethought,orindeedwhatsheoughttothink.Itwasamatteronwhichmuchmeditationwouldberequiredbeforeshecouldgiveadvice,andtherewasLucyexpectingcounselfromheratthatverymoment.IfLordLuftonreallylovedLucyRobarts,andwaslovedbyLucyRobarts,whyshouldnottheytwobecomemanandwife?Andyetshedidfeelthatitwouldbe——perhapsnotsacrilege,asLucyhadsaid,butsomethingalmostastroublesome.WhatwouldLadyLuftonsay,orthinkandfeel?Whatwouldshesay,andthink,andfeelastothatparsonagefromwhichsodeadlyablowwouldfalluponher?Wouldshenotaccusethevicarandthevicar\'swifeoftheblackestingratitude?

WouldlifebeendurableatFramleyundersuchcircumstancesasthose?

\'Whatyoutellmesosurprisesme,thatIhardlyasyetknowhowtospeakaboutit,\'saidMrsRobarts.

\'Itwasamazing,wasitnot?Hemusthavebeeninsaneatthetime;

therecanbenootherexcuseforhim.Iwonderwhetherthereisanythingofthatsortinthefamily?\'

\'What;madness?\'saidMrsRobarts,quiteinearnest.

\'Well,don\'tyouthinkhemusthavebeenmadwhensuchanideaasthatcameintohishead?Butyoudon\'tbelieveit;Icanseethat.Andyetitisastrueasheaven.Standingexactlyhere,onthisspot,hesaidthathewouldperseveretillIacceptedhislove.Iwonderwhatmademespeciallyobservethatbothhisfeetwerewithinthelinesofthatdivision.\'

\'Andyouwouldnotaccepthislove?\'

\'No;Iwouldhavenothingtosaytoit.Lookyou,Istoodhere,andputtingmyhanduponmyheart——forhebademedothat——IsaidthatIcouldnotlovehim.\'

\'Andwhatthen?\'

\'Hewentaway——withalookasthoughhewereheart-broken.Hecreptawayslowly,sayingthathewasthemostwretchedsoulalive.ForaminuteIbelievedhim,andcouldalmosthavecalledhimback;butno,Fanny,donotthinkthatIamoverproud,orconceitedaboutmyconquest.HehadnotreachedthegatebeforehewasthankingGodforhisescape.\'

\'ThatIdonotbelieve.\'

\'ButIdo;andIthoughtofLadyLuftontoo.HowcouldIbearthatsheshouldscornme,andaccusemeofstealingherson\'sheart?I

knowthatitisbetterasitis;buttellme——isafalsehoodalwayswrong,orcanitbepossiblethattheendshouldjustifythemeans?OughtItohavetoldhimthetruth,andtohavelethimknowthatIcouldalmostkissthegroundonwhichhestood?\'

ThiswasaquestionforthedoctorswhichMrsRobartswouldtakeuponherselftoanswer.Shewouldnotmakethatfalsehoodamatterofaccusation,butneitherwouldshepronounceforitanyabsolution.InthatmatterLucymustregulateherownconscience.

\'AndwhatshallIdonext?\'saidLucy,stillspeakinginatonethatwashalftragicandhalfjeering.

\'Do?\'saidMrsRobarts.

\'Yes,somethingmustbedone.IfIwereaMediterraneanIshouldgotoSwitzerland,ofcourse;or,asthecaseisabadone,perhapsasfarasHungary.Whatisitthatgirlsdo?Theydon\'tdienowadays,Ibelieve.\'

\'Lucy,Idonotbelievethatyoucareforhimonejot.Ifyouwereinloveyouwouldnotspeakofitlikethat.\'

\'There,there.That\'smyonlyhope.IfIcouldlaughatmyselftillithadbecomeincredibletoyou,Ialso,bydegrees,shouldceasetobelievethatIhadcaredforhim.But,Fanny,itisveryhard.IfIweretostarve,andrisebeforedaybreak,andpinchmyself,ordosomenastywork,——cleanthepotsandpansandthecandlesticks;thatIthinkwoulddothemostgood.Ihavegotapieceofsack-cloth,andImeantowearthat,whenIhavemadeitup.\'

\'Youarejokingnow,Lucy,Iknow.\'

\'No,bymyword;notinthespiritofwhatIamsaying.HowshallIactuponmyheart,ifIdonotgothroughthebloodandflesh?\'

\'DoyounotpraythatGodwillgiveyoustrengthtobearthesetroubles?\'

\'Buthowisonetowordone\'sprayer,orhoweventowordone\'swishes?IdonotknowwhatisthewrongthatIhavedone.Isayitboldly;inthismatterIcannotseemyownfault.IhavesimplyfoundthatIhavebeenafool.\'

Itwasnowquitedarkintheroom,orwouldhavebeensotoanyoneenteringafresh.Theyhadremainedtheretalkingtilltheireyeshadbecomeaccustomedtothegloom,andwouldstillhaveremained,hadtheynotsuddenlybeendisturbedbythesoundofahorse\'sfeet.

\'ThereisMark,\'saidFanny,jumpingupandrunningtothebell,thatlightsmightbereadywhenheshouldenter.

\'IthoughtheremainedinBarchesterto-night.\'

\'AndsodidI;buthesaiditmightbedoubtful.Whatshallwedoifhehasnotdined?\'That,Ibelieve,isalwaysthefirstthoughtinthemindofagoodwifewhenherhusbandreturnshome.Hashehadhisdinner?WhatcanIgivehimfordinner?Willhelikehisdinner?Ohdear,ohdear!thereisnothinginthehousebutcoldmutton.Butonthisoccasionthelordofthemansionhaddined,andcamehomeradiantwithgoodhumour,andowing,perhaps,alittleofhisradiancetothedean\'sclaret.\'Ihavetoldthem,\'

saidhe,\'thattheymaykeeppossessionofthehouseforthenexttwomonths,andtheyhaveagreedtothatarrangement.\'

\'Thatisverypleasant,\'saidMrsRobarts.

\'AndIdon\'tthinkweshallhavesomuchtroubleaboutthedilapidationafterall.\'

\'Iamverygladofthat,\'saidMrsRobarts.ButneverthelessshewasthinkingmoreofLucythanofthehouseinBarchesterClose.

\'Youwon\'tbetrayme,\'saidLucy,asshegavehersister-in-lawapartingkissatnight.

\'No;notunlessyougivemepermission.\'

\'Ah;Ishallneverdothat.\'

CHAPTERXXVII

SOUTHAUDLEYSTREET

TheDukeofOmniumhadnotifiedtoMrFothergillhiswishthatsomearrangementshouldbemadeabouttheChaldicotesmortgages,andMrFothergillhadunderstoodwhatthedukemeantaswellasthoughhisinstructionshadbeenwrittendownwithallalawyer\'sverbosity.

Theduke\'smeaningwasthis,thatChaldicoteswastobesweptupandgarnered,andmadepartandparceloftheGatherumproperty.IthadseemedtothedukethatthataffairbetweenhisfriendandMissDunstablewashangingfire,and,therefore,itwouldbewellthatChaldicotesshouldbesweptupandgarnered.And,moreover,tidingshadcomeintothewesterndivisionofthecountythatyoungFrankGreshamofBoxallHillwasintreatywiththeGovernmentforthepurchaseofallthatCrownpropertycalledtheChaceofChaldicotes.Ithadbeenofferedtotheduke,butthedukehadgivennodefiniteanswer.HadhegothismoneybackfromMrSowerbyhecouldhaveforestalledMrGresham;butnowthatdidnotseemtobeprobable,andhisgraceresolvedthateithertheonepropertyortheothershouldbegarnered.ThereforeMrFothergillwentuptotown,andthereforeMrSowerbywas,mostunwillingly,compelledtohaveabusinessinterviewwithMrFothergill.Inthemeantime,sincelastwesawhim,MrSowerbyhadlearnedfromhissistertheanswerwhichMissDunstablehadgiventohisproposition,andknewthathehadnofurtherhopeinthatdirection.Therewasnofurtherhopethenceofabsolutedeliverance,buttherehadbeenatenderofmoneyservice.TogiveMrSowerbyhisdue,hehadatoncedeclaredthatitwouldbequiteoutofthequestionthatheshouldnowreceiveanyassistanceofthatsortfromMissDunstable;buthissisterhadexplainedtohimthatitwouldbemerebusinesstransaction;thatMissDunstablewouldreceiveherinterest;andthat,ifshewouldbecontentwithfourpercent,whereasthedukereceivedfive,andothercreditorssix,seven,eight,ten,andHeavenonlyknowshowmuchmore,itmightbewellforallparties.He,himself,understood,aswellasFothergillhaddone,whatwasthemeaningoftheduke\'smessage.

Chaldicoteswastobegatheredandgarnered,ashadbeendonewithsomanyanotherfairpropertylyinginthoseregions.Itwastobeswallowedwhole,andthemasterwastowalkoutfromhisoldfamilyhall,toleavetheoldwoodsthatheloved,togiveuputterlytoanothertheparksandpaddocksandpleasantplaceswhichhehadknownfromhisearliestinfancy,andownedfromhisearliestmanhood.

Therecanbenothingmorebittertoamanthansuchasurrender.

What,comparedtothis,canbethelossofwealthtoonewhohashimselfmadeit,andbroughtittogether,buthasneveractuallyseenitwithhisbodilyeyes?Suchwealthhascomebyonechance,andgoesbyanother:thelossofitispartofthegamewhichthemanisplaying;andifhecannotloseaswellaswin,heisapoor,weak,cowardlycreature.Suchmen,asarule,doknowhowtobearamindfairlyequaltoadversity.Buttohavesquanderedtheacreswhichhavedescendedfromgenerationtogeneration;tobethememberofone\'sfamilythathasruinedthatfamily;tohaveswallowedupinone\'sownmawallthatshouldhavegracedone\'schildren,andone\'sgrandchildren!Itseemstomethatthemisfortunesofthisworldcanhardlygobeyondthat!MrSowerby,inspiteofhisrecklessnessandthatdare-devilgaietywhichheknewsowellhowtowearanduse,feltallthisaskeenlyasanymancouldfeelit.Ithadbeenabsolutelyhisownfault.Theacreshadcometohimallhisown,andnow,beforehisdeath,everyoneofthemwouldhavegonebodilyintothatgreedymaw.Thedukehadboughtupnearlyallthedebtswhichhadbeensecuredupontheproperty,andnowcouldmakeacleansweepofit.Sowerby,whenhereceivedthatmessagefromMrFothergill,knewwellthatthiswasintended;andheknewwellalso,thatwhenonceheshouldceasetobeMrSowerbyofChaldicotes,heneedneveragainhopetobereturnedasmemberforWestBarsetshire.Thisworldwouldforhimbeallover.Andwhatmustsuchamanfeelwhenhereflectsthatthisworldforhimisallover?Onthemorninginquestionhewenttohisappointment,stillbearingacheerycountenance.MrFothergill,whenintownonsuchbusinessasthis,alwayshadaroomathisserviceinthehouseofMessrsGumption&Gagebee,theduke\'sLondonlawagents,anditwasthitherthatMrSowerbyhadbeensummoned.ThehouseofbusinessofMessrsGumption&GagebeewasinSouthAudleyStreet;anditmaybesaidthattherewasnospotonthewholeearthwhichMrSowerbyhatedashedidthegloomy,dingybacksitting-roomupstairsinthathouse.Hehadbeenthereveryoften,buthadneverbeentherewithoutannoyance.

Itwasahorridtorture-chamber,keptforsuchdreadpurposesasthese,andnodoubthadbeenfurnished,andpapered,andcurtainedwiththeexpressobjectoffinallybreakingdownthespiritsofsuchpoorcountrygentlemenaschancedtobeinvolved.Everythingwasofabrowncrimson,——ofacrimsonthathadbecomebrown.

Sunlight,realgeniallightofthesun,nevermadeitswaythere,andnoamountofcandlescouldilluminatethegloomofthatbrownness.Thewindowswereneverwashed;theceilingwasofadarkbrown;theoldTurkeycarpetwasthickwithdust,andbrownwithal.Theungainlyoffice-table,inthemiddleoftheroom,hadbeencoveredwithblackleather,butthatwasnowbrown.Therewasabookcasefullofdingybrownlawbooksinarecessononesideofthefireplace,butnoonehadtouchedthemforyears,andoverthechimney-piecehungsomeoldlegalpedigreetable,blackwithsoot.

SuchwastheroomwhichMrFothergillalwaysusedinthebusinesshouseofMessrsGumption&Gagebee,inSouthAudleyStreet,neartoParkLane.

Ionceheardthisroomspokenofbyanoldfriendofmine,oneMrGreshamofGreshambury,thefatherofFrankGresham,whowasnowabouttopurchasethatpartoftheChaceofChaldicoteswhichbelongedtotheCrown.Healsohadhadevildays,thoughnowhappilytheywerepastandgone;andhe,too,hadsatinthatroom,andlistenedtothevoiceofmenwhowerepowerfuloverhisproperty,andintendedtousethatpower.TheideawhichheleftonmymindwasmuchthesameasthatwhichIhadentertained,whenaboy,ofacertainroominthecastleofUdolpho.TherewasachairinthatUdolphoroominwhichthosewhosatweredraggedoutlimbbylimb,theheadonewayandthelegsanother;thefingersweredraggedofffromthehands,andtheteethoutfromthejaws,andthehairoffthehead,andthefleshfromthebones,andthejointsfromtheirsockets,tilltherewasnothingleftbutalifelesstrunkseatedinthechair.MrGresham,ashetoldme,alwayssatinthesameseat,andthetorturesweresufferedwhensoseated,thedislocationsofhispropertywhichhewasforcedtodiscuss,theoperationsofhisveryselfwhichhewasforcedtowitness,mademeregardthatroomasworsethanthechamberofUdolpho.He,luckily——arareinstanceofgoodfortune——hadlivedtoseeallhisbonesandjointsputtogetheragain,andflourishingsoundly;buthenevercouldspeakoftheroomwithouthorror.\'Noconsiderationonearth,\'heoncesaidtome,verysolemnly,——\'Isaynone,shouldmakemeagainenterthatroom.\'Andindeedthisfeelingwassostrongwithhim,thatfromthedaywhenhisaffairstookaturnhewouldneverevenwalkdownSouthAudleyStreet.Onthemorninginquestionintothistorture-chamberMrSowerbywent,andthere,aftersometwoorthreeminutes,hewasjoinedbyMrFothergill.

MrFothergillwas,inonerespect,liketohisfriendSowerby.Heenactedtwotogetherdifferentpersonsonoccasionswhichwerealtogetherdifferent.Generallyspeaking,withtheworldatlarge,hewasajolly,rollicking,popularman,fondofeatinganddrinking,knowntobedevotedtotheduke\'sinterests,andsupposedtobesomewhatunscrupulous,oratanyratehard,whentheywereconcerned;butinotherrespectsagood-naturedfellow:andtherewasareportaboutthathehadoncelentsomebodymoney,withoutcharginghiminterestortakingsecurity.OnthepresentoccasionSowerbysawataglancethathehadcomethitherwithalltheaptitudesandappurtenancesofhisbusinessabouthim.Hewalkedintotheroomwithashort,quickstep;therewasnosmileonhisfaceasheshookhandswithhisoldfriend;hebroughtwithhimaboxladenwithpapersandparchments,andhehadnotbeenaminuteintheroombeforehewasseatedinoneoftheolddingychairs.

\'Howlonghaveyoubeenintown,Fothergill?\'saidSowerby,stillstandingwithhisbackagainstthechimney.Hehadresolvedononlyonething——thatnothingshouldinducehimtotouch,lookat,orlistentoanyofthosepapers.Heknewwellenoughthatnogoodwouldcomeofthat.Healsohadhisownlawyers,toseethathewaspilferedaccordingtorule.

\'Howlong?Sincethedaybeforeyesterday.Ineverwassobusyinmylife.Theduke,asusual,wantstohaveeverythingdoneatonce.\'

\'IfhewantstohaveallthatIowehimpaidatonce,heisliketobeoutinhisreckoning.\'

\'Ah,well;I\'mgladyouarereadytocomequicklytobusiness,becauseit\'salwaysbest.Won\'tyoucomeandsitdownhere?\'

\'No,thankyou.I\'llstand.\'

\'Butweshallhavetogothroughthesefigures,youknow.\'

\'Notafigure,Fothergill.Whatgoodwoulditdo?Nonetome,andnonetoyoueither,asItakeit.Ifthereisanythingwrong,Potter\'sfellowswillfinditout.Whatisitthedukewants?\'

\'Well;totellthetruth,hewantshismoney.\'

\'Inonesense,andthatthemainsense,hehasgotit.Hegetshisinterestregularly,doesnothe?\'

\'Prettywellforthat,seeinghowtimesare.But,Sowerby,that\'sanonsense.YouunderstandthedukeaswellasIdo,andyouknowverywellwhathewants.Hehasgivenyoutime,andifyouhadtakenanystepstowardsgettingthemoney,youmighthavesavedtheproperty.\'

\'Ahundredandeightythousandpounds!WhatstepscouldItaketogetthat?Flyabill,andletTozerhaveittogetcashonitintheCity!\'

\'Wehopedyouweregoingtomarry.\'

\'That\'salloff.\'

\'ThenIdon\'tthinkyoucanblamethedukeforlookingforhisown.Itdoesnotsuithimtohavesolargeasumstandingoutanylonger.Yousee,hewantsland,andwillhaveit.Hadyoupaidoffwhatyouowedhim,hewouldhavepurchasedtheCrownproperty;

andnow,itseemsyoungGreshamhasbidagainsthim,andistohaveit.Thishasriledhim,andImayaswelltellyoufairly,thatheisdeterminedtohaveeithermoneyormarbles.\'

\'YoumeanthatIamtobedispossessed.ThenImustsaythedukeistreatingmemostuncommonlyill.\'

\'Well,Sowerby,Ican\'tseeit.\'

\'Ican,though.Hehashismoneylikeclock-work;andhehasboughtupthesedebtsfrompersonswhowouldhaveneverdisturbedmeaslongastheygottheirinterest.\'

\'Haven\'tyouhadtheseat?\'

\'Theseat!anditisexpectedthatIamtopayforthat?\'

\'Idon\'tseethatanyoneisaskingyoutopayforit.YouarelikeagreatmanyotherpeoplethatIknow.Youwanttoeatyourcakeandhaveit.Youhavebeeneatingitforthelasttwentyyears,andnowyouthinkyourselfveryill-usedbecausethedukewantstohavehisturn.\'

\'Ishallthinkmyselfveryill-usedifhesellsmeout——worsethanill-used.Idonotwanttousestronglanguage,butitwillbemorethanill-usage.Icanhardlybelievethathereallymeanstotreatmeinthatway.\'

\'Itisveryhardthatheshouldwanthisownmoney!\'

\'Itisnothismoneyhewants.Itismyproperty.\'

\'Andhashenotpaidforit?Haveyounothadthepriceofyourproperty?Now,Sowerby,itisofnouseforyoutobeangry;youhaveknownforthelastthreeyearswhatwascomingonyouaswellasIdid.Whyshouldthedukelendyoumoneywithoutanobject?

Ofcoursehehashisownviews.ButIdosaythis;hehasnothurriedyou;andhadyoubeenabletodoanythingtosavetheplaceyoumighthavedoneit.Youhavehadtimeenoughtolookaboutyou.\'

Sowerbystillstoodintheplaceinwhichhehadfirstfixedhimself,andnowforawhileheremainedsilent.Hisfacewasverystern,andtherewasinhiscountenancenoneofthosewinninglookswhichoftentoldsopowerfullywithhisyoungfriends,——whichhadcaughtLordLuftonandhadcharmedMarkRobarts.Theworldwasgoingagainsthim,andthingsaroundhimwerecomingtoanend.Hewasbeginningtoperceivethathehadintrutheatenhiscakeandthattherewasnowlittleleftforhimtodo,——unlesshechosetoblowouthisbrains.HehadsaidtoLordLuftonthataman\'sbackshouldbebroadenoughforanyburdenwithwhichhehimselfmightloadit.Couldhenowboastthathisbackwasbroadenoughandstrongenoughforthisburden?Buthehadeventhen,atthatbittermoment,astrongremembrancethatitbehovedhimstilltobeaman.Hisfinalruinwascomingonhim,andhewouldsoonbesweptawayoutoftheknowledgeandmemoryofthosewithwhomhehadlived.But,nevertheless,hewouldbearhimselfwelltothelast.Itwastruethathehadmadehisownbed,andheunderstoodthejusticewhichrequiredhimtolieuponit.

DuringthistimeFothergilloccupiedhimselfwiththepapers.Hecontinuedtoturnoveronesheetafteranother,asthoughheweredeeplyengagedinmoneyconsiderationsandcalculations.But,intruth,duringallthattimehedidnotreadaword.Therewasnothingthereforhimtoread.Thereadingandwriting,andthearithmeticinsuchmatters,aredonebyunderlings——notbysuchbigmenasMrFothergill.HisbusinesswastotellSowerbythathewastogo.Allthoserecordstherewereoflittleuse.Thedukehadthepower;Sowerbyknewthedukehadthepower;andFothergill\'sbusinesswastoexplainthatthedukemeanttoexercisehispower.

Hewasusedtothework,andwentonturningoverthepapersandpretendingtoreadthem,asthoughhisdoingsowereofthegreatestmoment.\'Ishallseethedukemyself,\'MrSowerbysaidatlast,andtherewassomethingalmostdreadfulinthesoundofhisvoice.

\'Youknowthedukewon\'tseeyouonamatterofthiskind.Heneverspeakstoanyoneaboutmoney;youknowthataswellasIdo.\'

\'By——,butheshallspeaktome.Neverspeaktoanyoneaboutmoney!Whyisheashamedtospeakofitwhenhelovesitsodearly?Heshallseeme.\'

\'Ihavenothingfurthertosay,Sowerby.OfcourseIshan\'taskhisgracetoseeyou;andifyouforceyourwayinonhim,youknowwhatwillhappen.Itwon\'tbemydoingifheissetagainstyou.

Nothingthatyousaytomeinthatway,——nothingthatanybodyeversays,——goesbeyondmyself.\'

\'Ishallmanagethematterthroughmyownlawyer,\'saidSowerby;

andthenhetookhishat,and,withoututteringanotherword,lefttheroom.

Weknownotwhatmaybethenatureofthateternalpunishmenttowhichthosewillbedoomedwhoshallbejudgedtohavebeeneviltothelast;butmethinksthatnomoreterribletormentcanbedevisedthanthememoryofself-imposedruin.Whatwretchednesscanexceedthatofrememberingfromdaytodaythattheracehasbeenallrun,andhasbeenaltogetherlost;thatthelastchancehasgone,andhasgoneinvain;thattheendhascome,andwithitdisgrace,contempt,andself-scorn——disgracethatnevercanberedeemed,contemptthatnevercanberemoved,andself-scornthatwilleatintoone\'svitalsforever?MrSowerbywasnowfifty;hehadenjoyedthechancesinlife;andashewalkedback,upSouthAudleyStreet,hecouldnotbutthinkoftheuseshehadmadeofthem.Hehadfallenintothepossessionofafinepropertyontheattainmentofmanhood;hehadbeenendowedwithmorethanaveragegiftsofintellect;never-failinghealthhadbeengiventohim,andavisionfairlyclearindiscerninggoodfromevil;andnowtowhatapasshehadbroughthimself!AndthatmanFothergillhadputallthisbeforehiminsoterriblyclearalight!Nowthatthedayforhisfinaldemolishmenthadarrived,thenecessitythatheshouldbedemolished——finishedawayatonce,outofsightandoutofmind——hadnotbeensoftened,or,asitwere,halfhidden,byanyambiguousphrase.\'Youhavehadyourcake,andeatenit——eatenitgreedily.Isnotthatsufficientforyou?Wouldyoueatyourcaketwice?Wouldyouhaveasuccessionofcakes?No,myfriend;thereisnosuccessionofthesecakesforthosewhoeatthemgreedily.

Yourpropositionisnotafairone,andwewhohavethewhip-handofyouwillnotlistentoit.Begoodenoughtovanish.Permityourselftobesweptquietlyintothedunghill.Allthattherewasaboutyouofvaluehasdepartedfromyou;andallowmetosaythatyouarenow——rubbish.\'Andthentheruthlessbesomcomeswithirresistiblerush,andtherubbishissweptawayintothepit,theretobehiddenforeverfromthelight.Andthepityofitisthis——thataman,ifhewillonlyrestrainhisgreed,mayeathiscakeandyethaveit;aye,andinsodoingwillhavetwicemoretheflavourofthecakethanhewhowithgourmandizingmawwilldevourhisdaintyallatonce.Cakesinthisworldwillgrowbybeingfedon,ifonlythefeederbenottooinsatiate.OnallwhichwisdomMrSowerbyponderedwithsadheartandverymelancholymindashewalkedawayfromthepremisesofMessrsGumption&Gagebee.HisintentionhadbeentogodowntotheHouseafterleavingMrFothergill,buttheprospectofimmediateruinhadbeentoomuchforhim,andheknewthathewasnotfittobeseenatonceamongthehauntsofmen.AndhehadintendedalsotogodowntoBarchesterearlyonthefollowingmorning——onlyforafewhours,thathemightmakefurtherarrangementsrespectingthatbillwhichRobartshadacceptedforhim.Thatbill——thesecondone——hadnowbecomedue,andMrTozerhadbeenwithhim.