第14章

Well，asIreadthat，andereeverIwasawarewhatwasgoingon，myhearthadopenedovermynewspaper，andthesunhadsweptdownfromthesky，andhadrushedintomyheart，andbeforeIknewwhereIwasthecryhadescapedmylips，’GreatandmarvellousareThyworks，LordGodAlmighty！WhoshallnotfearTheeandglorifythyname？’Andthenthisreflectionassuddenlycametome:HowgooditistobeatpeacewithGod，andtobeableandwillingtosay，MyFather！Thatthewholeofthesurgingandflamingsunwasactuallydowninmystraitenedandhamperedheartatthatidlemomentovermypaperisscientificallydemonstrable；foronlythatwhichisintheheartofamancankindlethepassionsthatareintheheartofthatman；andnothingismoresuretomethanthatthegreatpassionsoffearandlove，wonderandrapturewereatthatmomentataburningpointwithinme。ThereisapassagewellonintheHolyWar，whichforterrorandforhorror，andatthesametimefortruthandforpower，equalsanythingeitherinDanteorinMilton。LuciferhasstoodupatthecouncilboardtosecondtheschemeofBeelzebub。’Yes，’hesaid，amidtheplauditsofhisfellow-princes——’Yes，Iswearit。LetusfillMansoulfullwithourabundance。Letusmakeofthiscastle，astheyvainlycallit，awarehouse，asthenameisinsomeoftheircitiesabove。ForifwecanonlygetMansoultofillherselffullwithmuchgoodssheishenceforthours。Mypeers，’hesaid，’youallknowHisparableofhowunblessedricheschoketheword；and，again，weknowwhathappenswhentheheartsofmenareoverchargedwithsurfeitingandwithdrunkenness。Letusgivethemallthat，then，totheirheart’sdesire。’ThisadviceofLucifer，ourhistorytellsus，washighlyapplaudedinhell，andeversinceithasprovedtheirmasterpiecetochokeMansoulwiththefulnessofthisworld，andtosurfeittheheartwiththegoodthingsthereof。But，mybrethren，youwilloutwithellherselfandallhercounsellorsandallhermachinations，if，outofalltheriches，pleasures，cares，andpossessions，thatbothheavenandearthandhellcanheapintoyourheart，thoseriches，pleasures，cares，andpossessionsbutproducecorrespondingpassionsandaffectionstowardsGodandman。Onlyletfear，andlove，andthankfulness，andhelpfulnessbekindledandfedtoalltheirfulnessinyourheart，andalltheworldandallthatitcontainswillonlyleavethemoreroominyourboundlessheartforGodandforyourbrother。AllthatGodhasmade，orcouldmakewithallHiscounselandallHispowerlaidout，willnotfillyourboundlessandbottomlessheart。HemustcomedownandcomeintoyourboundlessandbottomlessheartHimself。Himself:yourFather，yourRedeemer，andyourSanctifierandComforteralso。Letthewholeuniversetrytofillyourheart，OmanofGod，andafteritallweshallhearyousinginginfamineandinlonelinessthedolefulditty:

’Ocometomyheart，LordJesus，ThereisroominmyheartforThee。

5。’Madame，’saidaholysolitarytoMadameGuyoninhermisery——

’Madame，youaredisappointedandperplexedbecauseyouseekwithoutwhatyouhavewithin。AccustomyourselftoseekforGodinyourownheartandyouwillalwaysfindHimthere。’FromthathourthatgiftedwomanwasaMystic。Thesecretoftheinteriorlifeflasheduponherinamoment。Shehadbeenstarvinginthemidstoffulness；Godwasnearandnotfaroff；thekingdomofheavenwaswithinher。TheloveofGodfromthathourtookpossessionofhersoulwithaninexpressiblehappiness。Prayer，whichhadbeforebeensodifficult，wasnowdelightfulandindispensable；hourspassedawaylikemoments:shecouldscarcelyceasefrompraying。

Herdomestictrialsseemedgreattohernolonger；herinwardjoyconsumedlikeafirethereluctance，themurmur，andthesorrow，whichallhadtheirbirthinherself。Aspiritofcomfortingpeace，asenseofrejoicingpossession，pervadedallherdays。Godwascontinuallywithher，andsheseemedcontinuallyyieldeduptoGod。’Madame，’saidthesolitary，’youseekwithoutforwhatyouhavewithin。’WheredoyouseekforGodwhenyoupray，mybrethren？Towhatplacedoyoudirectyoureyes？Isittotheroofofyourcloset？Isittotheeastendofyourconsecratedchapel？Isittothatwoodentableintheeastendofyourchapel？

Or，passingoutofallhousesmadewithhandsandconsecratedwithholyoil，doyouliftupyoureyestotheskieswherethesunandthemoonandthestarsdwellalone？’Whatafolly！’exclaimsTheophilus，inthegoldendialogue，’fornowayisthetruewaytoGodbutbythewayofourownheart。Godisnowhereelsetobefound。AndtheheartitselfcannotfindHimbutbyitsownloveofHim，faithinHim，dependenceuponHim，resignationtoHim，andexpectationofallfromHim。’’Youhavequitecarriedyourpointwithme，’answeredTheogenesafterhehadheardallthatTheophilushadtosay。’TheGodofmeekness，ofpatience，andofloveishenceforththeoneGodofmyheart。Itisnowtheonebentanddesireofmysoultoseekforallmysalvationinandthroughthemeritsandmediationofthemeek，humble，patient，resigned，sufferingLambofGod，whoalonehaspowertobringforththeblessedbirthofthoseheavenlyvirtuesinmysoul。WhatacomfortitistothinkthatthisLambofGod，SonoftheFather，LightoftheWorld；thisGloryofheavenandthisJoyofangelsisasneartous，isastrulyinthemidstofus，asHeisinthemidstofheaven。Andthatnotathought，look，ordesireofourheartthatpressestowardHim，longingtocatchonesmallsparkofHisheavenlynature，butisassureawayoffindingHim，asthewoman’swaywaswhowashealedofherdeadlydiseasebylongingtotouchbuttheborderofHisgarment。’

Tosumup。’ThereisrearedupinthemidstofMansoulamostfamousandstatelypalace:forstrength，itmaybecalledacastle；forpleasantness，aparadise；andforlargeness，aplacesocopiousastocontainalltheworld。ThispalacetheKingintendsbutforHimselfalone，andnotanotherwithHim，andHecommitsthekeepingofthatpalacedayandnighttothemenofthetown。’

CHAPTERVI——MYLORDWILLBEWILL-

’towillispresentwithme。’——PaulThereisalargeandalearnedliteratureonthesubjectofthewill。Thereisaphilosophicalandatheological，andthereisareligiousandanexperimentalliteratureonthewill。JonathanEdwards’swell-knownworkstandsoutconspicuouslyattheheadofthephilosophicalandtheologicalliteratureonthewill，whileourownThomasBoston’sFourfoldStateisaveryableandimpressivetreatiseonthemorepracticalandexperimentalsideofthesamesubject。TheWestminsterConfessionofFaithdevotesoneofitsverybestchapterstotheteachingofthewordofGodonthewillofman，andtheShorterCatechismtouchesonthesamesubjectinEffectualCalling。Outstandingphilosophicalandtheologicalschoolshavebeenformedaroundthewill，andbothableandlearnedandearnestmenhavetakenoppositesidesonthesubjectofthewillunderthepartynamesofNecessitariansandLibertarians。

Thisisnotthetime，noramItheman，todiscusssuchabstrusesubjects；butthosestudentswhowishtomasterthisgreatmatterofthewill，sofarasitcanbemasteredinbooks，arerecommendedtobeginwithDr。WilliamCunningham’sworks，andthentogoonfromthemtoatreatisethatwillrewardalltheirtalentandalltheirenterprise，JonathanEdwards’sperfectmasterpiece。

1。But，tocometomyLordWillbewill，oneofthegentryofthefamoustownofMansoul:-well，thisLordWillbewillwasashigh-

bornasanymaninMansoul，andwasasmuchafreeholderasanyofthemwere，ifnotmore。Besides，ifIremembermytalearight，hehadsomeprivilegespeculiartohimselfinthatfamoustown。Now，togetherwiththese，hewasamanofgreatstrength，resolution，andcourage；norinhisoccasioncouldanyturnhimaway。Butwhetherhewastooproudofhishighestate，privileges，andstrength，orwhat(butsureitwasthroughprideofsomething)，hescornsnowtobeaslaveinMansoul，ashisownproudwordis，sothatnow，nexttoDiabolushimself，whobutmyLordWillbewillinallthattown？Norcouldanythingnowbedonebutathisbeckandgoodpleasurethroughoutthattown。Indeed，itwillnotoutofmythoughtswhatadesperatefellowthisWillbewillwaswhenfullpowerwasputintohishand。Allwhich——howthisapostateprincelostpowerandgotitagain，andlostitandgotitagain——theinterestedandcuriousreaderwillfindsetforthwithgreatfulnessandclearnessinmanypowerfulpagesoftheHolyWar。

JohnBunyanwasashardputtoittogettherightnameforthisheadofthegentryofMansoulasPaulwastogettherightnameforsinintheseventhoftheRomans。Inthatprofoundestandintensestofallhisprofoundandintensepassages，theapostlehasoccasiontoseekaboutforsomeexpression，someepithet，someadjective，aswesay，toapplytosinsoastohelphimtobringouttohisRomanreaderssomethingofthemalignity，deadliness，andunspeakableevilofsinashehadsinlivingandworkinginhimself。ButalltheresourcesoftheGreeklanguage，thatmostresourcefuloflanguages，utterlyfailedPaulforhispressingpurpose。Andthusitisthat，asifinscornofthefeeblenessandfutilityofthatboastedtongue，hetramplesitsgrammarsanditsdictionariesunderhisfeet，andmakesnewandunheard-ofwordsandcombinationsofwordsonthespotforhimselfandforhissubject。

HeheapsupahyperbolethelikeofwhichnooratororrhetoricianofGreeceorRomehadeverneededorhadeverimaginedbefore。Hetakessin，andhemakesanameforsinoutofitself。Theonlywaytodescribesin，hefeels，theonlywaytocharacterisesin，theonlywaytoaggravatesin，isjusttocallitsin；sinfulsin；’sinbythecommandmentbecameexceedingsinful。’And，inlikemanner，JohnBunyan，whohasonlyhisownmothertonguetoworkwith，inhisstraitstogetapropernameforthisterriblefellowwhowasnexttoDiabolushimself，cannotfindaproudenoughnameforhimbutjustbygivinghimhisownname，andthendoublingit。Addwilltowill，multiplywillbywill，andmultiplyitagain，andafteryouhavedoneallyouarenonearertoapropernameforthatapostate，who，forpride，andinsolence，andheadstrongness，inoneword，forwilfulness，isnexttoDiabolushimself。ButasWillbewill，ifheistobenamedanddescribedatall，isbestnamedanddescribedbyhisownnakedname；soBunyanisalwaysbestillustratedoutofhisownworks。AndIturnaccordinglytotheHeavenlyFootmanforanexcellentillustrationofthewilfulnessofthewillbothinagoodmanandinabad；as，thus:’Yourself-

willedpeople，nobodyknowswhattodowiththem。Weusetosay，Hewillhavehisownwill，doallwecan。Ifamanbewilling，thenanyargumentshallbematterofencouragement；butifunwilling，thenanyargumentshallgivediscouragement。Thesaintsofold，theybeingwillingandresolvedforheaven，whatcouldstopthem？Couldfireandfagot，swordorhalter，dungeons，whips，bears，bulls，lions，cruelrackings，stonings，starvings，nakedness？SowillinghadtheybeenmadeinthedayofHispower。

Andsee，ontheotherside，thechildrenofthedevil，becausetheyarenotwilling，howmanyshiftsandstarting-holestheywillhave！

Ihavemarriedawife；Ihaveafarm；Ishalloffendmylandlord；I

shalllosemytrade；Ishallbemockedandscoffedat，andthereforeIcannotcome。But，alas！thethingis，theyarenotwilling。For，weretheyoncesoundlywilling，these，andathousandthingssuchasthese，wouldholdthemnofasterthanthecordsheldSamsonwhenhebrokethemlikeflax。Itellyouthewillisall。TheLordgivetheeawill，then，andcourageofheart。’

2。Letthat，then，sufficeforthisman’snameandnature，andletuslookathimnowwhenhisnameandhisnaturehavebothbecomeevil；thatistosay，whenWillbewillhasbecomeIllwill。Youcanimagine；no，youcannotimagineunlessyoualreadyknow，howevil，andhowsetuponevil，Illwillwas。Hiswholemind，wearetold，nowstoodbendingitselftoevil。Nay，sosetwashenowuponsheerevilthathewouldactitofhisownaccord，andwithoutanyinstigationatallfromDiabolus。AndthatwentontillhewaslookedoninthecityasnextinwickednesstoveryDiabolushimself。Parableapart，myill-willedbrethren，ourill-willhasmadeusveryfiendsinhumanshape。Whatafall，whatafate，whatacurseitistobepossessedofadevilofill-will！WhocanputproperwordsonitafterPaulhadtoconfesshimselfsilentbeforeit？Whocanutterthediabolicalnature，thedepthandthesecrecy，thesubtletyandthespirituality，therangeandthereach-outofanill-will？Ourheartsarefullofill-willatthosewemeetandshakehandswitheveryday。Atmenalsowehaveneverseen，andwhoaretotallyignorantevenofourexistence。Overathousandmileswedartourviperousheartsatinnocentmen。Atgreatstatesmenwehaveill-will，andatsmall；atgreatchurchmenandatsmall；atgreatauthorsandatsmall；atgreat，andfamous，andsuccessfulmeninalllinesoflife；foritisenoughforill-

willthatanothermanbepraised，andwell-paid，andprosperous，andthenplacedinoureye。Noamountofsufferingwillsatiateill-will；theverygravehasnosealagainstit。And，nowandthen，youhaveitthrustuponyouthatothermenhavethesamedevilinthemasdeeplyandasactivelyasheisinyou。Youwillsuddenlyrunacrossamanonthestreet。Hisfacewasshiningwithsomepraisehehadjusthadspokentohim，orwithsomerecognitionhehadjustreceivedfromsomegreatone；orwithsomegoodnewsforhimselfhehadjustheard，beforehecaughtsightofyou。Butthelightsuddenlydiesonhisface，anddarknesscomesupoutofhisheartathissuddenglimpseofyou。Whatisthematter？youaskyourselfashescowlspastyou。Whathaveyoudonesotodarkenanyman’shearttoyou？Andasyoustumbleoninthesickeningcloudhehasleftbehindhim，yousuddenlyrecollectthatyouwereoncecompelledtovoteagainstthatmanonapublicquestion:onsomequestionofhomefranchise，orforeignwar，orchurchgovernment，orcitybusiness；orperchance，afamilyhaslefthisshoptodobusinessinyours，orhischurchtoworshipGodinyours，orsuchlike。Itwillbeacertainrelieftoyoutorecollectsuchthings。Butwithitalltherewillbeashameandahumiliationandadeepinwardpainthatwillescapeintoacryofprayerforhimandforyourselfandforallsuchsinnersonthesamestreet。Ifyoudonotfindanescapefromyoursharpresentmentinejaculatoryprayerandinaheart-cleansinggreatgood-will，yourheart，beforeyouareahundredstepson，willbeasblackwithill-willashisis。Butthatmustnotagainbe。

Wouldyouhateorstrikebackatablindmanwhostumbledandfellagainstyouonthestreet？Wouldyouretaliateatamaniacwhognashedhisteethandshookhisfistatyouonhiswaypastyoutothemadhouse？Oratacorpsebeingcarriedpastyouthathadbeentoolongwithoutburial？Andshallyouretaliateonamiserablemandrivenmadwithdiabolicalpassion？Oratapoorsinnerwhoseheartisasrottenasthegrave？Ill-willisabroadinourlearnedandreligiouscityatallhoursofthedayandnight。Heglaresatusunderthesunbyday，andunderthestreetlampsatnight。Wesuddenlyfeelhisbalefuleyeonusaswethoughtlesslypassunderhisoverlookingwindows:itwillbeasidestreetandanunfrequented，whereyouwillnotbeashamedandshockedandpainedathearttomeethim。Publicmen；muchpurchasedandmuchpraisedmen；richandprosperousmen；menhighintalentandinplace；and，indeed，allmannerofmen，——walkabroadinthislifesoftly。Keepoutofsight。Takethesidestreets，andreturnhomequickly。Youhavenoideawhatanoffenceandwhatasnareyouaretomenyouknow，andtomenyoudonotknow。Ifyouareapublicman，andifyournameismuchinmen’smouths，thentheplaceyouhold，thepricesandthepraisesyouget，donotgiveyouone-tenthofthepleasurethattheygiveathousandothermenpain。Menyouneverheardof，andwhowouldnotknowyouiftheymetyou，gnawtheirheartsatthemerementionofyourname。Desire，then，tobeunknown，asAKempissays。Oteachmetolovetobeconcealed，praysJeremyTaylor。Beambitioustobeunknown，ArchbishopLeightonalsoinstructsus。AndthegreatFenelontookAmanesciriforhiscrestandforhismotto。Nowonderthatanapostlecriedoutundertheagonyandtheshameofill-will。NowonderthattokillitintheheartsofmentheSonofGoddiedunderitonthecross。Andnowonderthatallthegatesofhellarewideopen，dayandnight，forthereisnodaythere，toreceivehomeallthosewhowillentertainill-willintheirhearts，andallthegatesofheavenshutclosetokeepallill-willforeverout。

3。But，badenoughasallthatis，thehalfhasnotbeentold，andneverwillbetoldinthislife。Butlerhasapassagethathaslongstumbledme，anditstumblesmethemorethelongerIliveandstudyhimandobservemyself。’Resentment，’hesays，inaverydeepandaveryseriouspassage——’Resentmentbeingoutofthecase，thereisnot，properlyspeaking，anysuchthingasdirectill-willinonemantowardsanother。’Well，greatandundisputedasButler’sauthorityisinallthesematters，atthesametimehewouldbethefirsttoadmitandtoassertthataman’sinwardexperiencetranscendsalloutwardauthority。Well，Iamfilledwithshameandpainandrepentanceandremorsetohavetosayit，butmyexperiencecarriesmerightintheteethofButler’sdoctrine。IhavedutifullytriedtolookatButler’sinvitingandexoneratingdoctrineinallpossiblelights，andfromallpossiblepointsofview，intheanxiouswishtoproveittrue；butIdarenotsaythatIhavesucceeded。Thetruthforthee——myheartwouldcontinuallycalltome——thebesttruthfortheeisinme，andnotinanyButler！AndwhenlookingascloselyasIcanatmyownheartinthematterofill-will，whatdoIfind——andwhatwillyoufind？Youwillfindthataftersubtractingallthatcaninanypropersensecomeundertheheadofrealresentment，andincaseswhererealresentmentisoutofthequestion；incaseswhereyouhavereceivednoinjury，noneglect，nocontempt，noanythingwhatsoeverofthatkind，youwillfindthattherearemeninnocentofallthattoyou，yetmentowhomyouentertainfeelings，animosities，antipathies，thatcanbecalledbynoothernamethanthatofill-will。Lookwithinandsee。Watchwithinandsee。AndIamsureyouwillcometosubscribewithmetothehumblingandheart-breakingtruth，that，evenwherethereisnoresentment，andnootherexplanation，excuse，orpalliationofthatkind，yetthatfestering，secret，malignantill-willisworkinginthebottomofyourheart。Ifyoudoubtthat，ifyoudenythat，ifallthatkindofself-observationandself-sentencingisnewtoyou，thenobserveyourself，say，foroneweek，andreportattheendofitwhetherornoyouhavehadfeelingsandthoughtsandwishesinyoursecrethearttowardmenwhoneverinanywayhurtyou，whichcanonlybetruthfullydescribedaspureill-will；thatistosay，youhavenotfeltandthoughtandwishedtowardthemasyouwouldhavethem，andallmen，feelandthinkandwishtowardyou。

4。’Towillispresentwithme，buthowtoperformIfindnot，’

saystheapostle；andagain，’Yecannotdothethingsthatyewould。’Or，asDantehasit，’ThepowerwhichwillsBearsnotsupremecontrol；laughterandtearsFollowsocloselyonthepassionpromptsthem，TheywaitnotforthemotionofthewillInnaturesmostsincere。’

Now，justhereliesadeepdistinctionthathasnotbeenenoughtakenaccountofbyourpopular，orevenbyourmoreprofound，spiritualwriters。Thewillisoftenregenerateandright；thewilloftenbends，asBunyanhasit，tothatwhichisgood；butbehindthewillandbeneaththewilltheheartisstillfullofpassions，affections，inclinations，dispositionsthatareevil；

instinctively，impulsively，involuntarilyevil，even’innaturesmostsincere。’Andhencearisesaconflict，acombat，adeath-

grip，anagony，ahellonearth，thateveryregenerateandadvancingsoulofmanisfullofHiswillisright。Ifhiswilliswrong；ifhechoosesevil；thenthereisnomysteryinthemattersofarasheisconcerned。Heisabadman，andheissointentionallyanddeliberatelyandofsetpurpose；anditisaruleindivinetruththat’wilfulnessinsinningisthemeasureofoursinfulness。’Buthiswillisright。Towillispresentwithhim。

HeiseverydaylikeThomasBostononeSabbath-day:’ThoughI

cannotbefreeofsin，GodHimselfknowsthatHewouldbewelcometomakehavocofmysinsandtomakemeholy。IknownolustthatIwouldnotbecontenttopartwithto-night。Mywill，boundhandandfoot，IdesiretolayatHisfeet。’Now，isitnotasclearasnoondaythatinthecaseofsuchamanasBostonhismindisonethingandhisheartanother？Isitnotplainthathehasbothagood-willandanill-willwithinhim？AwillthatimmediatelyandresolutelychoosesforGod，andfortruth，andforrighteousness，andforlove；andanotherlawinhismemberswarringagainstthatlawofhismind？’Beforeconversion，’saysThomasShepard，’themainwoundofamanisinhiswill。Andthen，afterconversion，thoughhiswillischanged，yet，exinfirmitate，therearemanythingsthathecannotdo，sostrongistheremnantofmalignitythatisstillinhisheart。LethimgetChristtohelphimhere。’

Inallthatyeseeyourcalling，mybrethren。

5。’Now，ifIdothatIwouldnot，’addstheapostle，extricatinghimselfandgivinghimselffair-playandhissimpledueamongallhismiseryandself-accusation——’Now，ifIdothatIwouldnot，itisnomoreIthatdoit，butsinthatdwellethinme。’Or，again，asWilliamLawhasit:’Allournaturalevilceasestobeourownevilassoonasourwillturnsawayfromit。Ournaturalevilthenchangesitsnatureandlosesallitspoisonanddeath，andbecomesanholycrossonwhichwedietoselfandthislifeandenterthekingdomofheaven。’Mydearbrethren，tellme，isyoursinyourcross？Isyoursinfulnessyourcross？Istheevilthatiseverpresentwithyouyourholycross？For，everyothercrossbesidesinisacrossofstraw，acrossoffeathers，apaste-boardandapaintedcross，andnotarealandgenuinecrossatall。ThewoodandthenailsandthespearalltakentogetherwerenotourLord’srealcross。Hisrealcrosswassin；oursinlaidonHishands，andonHisheart，andonHisimagination，andonHisconscience，tillitwasallbutHisveryownsin。OursinwassofearfullyandwonderfullylaiduponChristthatHewasasgoodasasinnerHimselfunderit。Somuchsothatallthenailsandallthespears，allthethirstandallthedarknessthatHisbodyandHissoulcouldholdwereasnothingbesidethesinthatwaslaiduponHim。Andsoitiswithus；withasmanyofusasareHistruedisciples。Oursinisourcross；notouractualtransgressions，anymorethanHis；butourinwardsinfulness。Andnotthesinfulnessofourwill；thatisnorealcrosstoanyman；butthesinfulnessofourheartsagainstourwill，andbeneathourwill，andbehindourwill。AndthisissuchacrossthatifChristhadsomethinginHiscrossthatwehavenot，thenwehavesomethinginoursthatHehadnot。HemademanysadandsorePsalmsHisown；

butevenifHehadlivedonearthtoreadtheseventhoftheRomans，HecouldnothavemadeitHisown。HistruepeoplearebeyondHimhere。ThediscipleisabovehisMasterhere。TheMasterhadHisowncross，anditwasasufficientcross；butwecanchallengeHimtocomedownandlookandsayifHeeversawacrosslikeourcross。Hewasmadeacurse。Hewashangedonthetree。

HeboreoursinsinHisownbodyonthetree。ButhispeoplearebeyondHimintherealagonyandcrucifixionofsin。ForHeneverinGethsemaneoronCalvaryeithercriedasPauloncecried，andasyouandIcryeveryday——Towillispresentwithme！ButthegoodthatIwouldIdonot！And，oh！thebodyofthisdeath！

6。Now，ifanytotalstrangertoallthatshallaskme:Whatgoodthereisinallthat？and，WhyIsolabourinsuchaworldofunaccustomedandunpleasantthingsasthat？Ihavemanyanswerstohiscensure。Forexample，andfirst，Ilabourandwillcontinuetolabourmoreandmoreinthisworldofthings，andlessandlessinanyotherworld，becauseherewebegintoseethingsastheyare——

thedeepestthingsofGodandofman，thatis。Also，becauseI

havetheprecept，andtheexample，andtheexperienceofGod’sgreatestandbestsaintsbeforemehere。Because，also，ourfullandtruesalvationbeginshere，goesonhere，andendshere。

Because，also，teachingthesethingsandlearningthesethingswillinfalliblymakeusthehumblestofmen，themostcontrite，themostself-despising，themostprayerful，andthemostpatient，meek，andlovingofmen。And，students，Ilabourinthisbecausethisisscience；becausethisisthefirstinorderandthemostfruitfulofallthesciences，ifnotthenoblestandthemostgloriousofallthesciences。Thereisallthatgoodforusinthissubjectofthewillandtheheart，andwholeworldsofgoodlieawayoutbeyondthissubjectthateyehathnotseennorearheard。

CHAPTERVII——SELF-LOVE

’Thisknow，thatmenshallbeloversoftheirownselves，covetous，boasters，proud，unthankful，withoutnaturalaffection，truce-

breakers，falseaccusers，traitors，heady，high-minded:fromallsuchturnaway。’——Paul。

’Pray，sir，saidAcademicus，tellmemoreplainlyjustwhatthisselfofoursactuallyis。Self，repliedTheophilus，ishell，itisthedevil，itisdarkness，pain，anddisquiet。ItistheoneandonlyenemyofChrist。Itisthegreatantichrist。Itisthescarletwhore，itisthefierydragon，itistheoldserpentthatismentionedintheRevelationofStJohn。Youratherterrifymethaninstructmebythisdescription，saidAcademicus。Itisindeedaveryfrightfulmatter，returnedTheophilus；foritcontainseverythingthatmanhastodreadandtohate，toresistandtoavoid。Yetbeassured，myfriend，that，carelessandmerryasthisworldis，everymanthatisbornintothisworldhasallthoseenemiestoovercomewithinhimself；andeveryman，tillheisinthewayofregeneration，ismoreorlessgovernedbythoseenemies。Nohellinanyremoteplace，nodevilthatisseparatefromyou，nodarknessorpainthatisnotwithinyou，noantichristeitheratRomeorinEngland，nofuriousbeast，nofierydragon，withoutyouorapartfromyou，candoyouanyrealhurt。Itisyourownhell，yourowndevil，yourownbeast，yourownantichrist，yourowndragonthatlivesinyourownheart’sbloodthatalonecanhurtyou。Dietothisself，tothisinwardnature，andthenalloutwardenemiesareovercome。Livetothisself，andthen，whenthislifeisout，allthatiswithinyou，andallthatiswithoutyou，willbenothingelsebutamereseeingandfeelingthishell，serpent，beast，andfierydragon。But，saidTheogenes，athirdpartywhostoodby，Iwould，ifIcould，moreperfectlyunderstandtheprecisenatureofself，orwhatitisthatmakesittobesofullofevilandmisery。TowhomTheophilusturnedandreplied:

Covetousness，envy，pride，andwratharethefourelementsofself。

Andhenceitisthatthewholelifeofselfcanbenothingelsebutaplagueandtormentofcovetousness，envy，pride，andwrath，allofwhichispreciselysinfulnature，self，orhell。Whilstmanlives，indeed，amongthevanitiesoftime，hiscovetousness，hisenvy，hispride，andhiswrath，maybeinatolerablestate，andmayhelphimtoamixtureofpeaceandtrouble；theymayhavetheirgratificationsaswellastheirtorments。Butwhendeathhasputanendtothevanityofallearthlycheats，thesoulthatisnotbornagainofthesupernaturalWordandSpiritofGodmustfinditselfunavoidablydevouredbyitself，shutupinitsowninsatiable，unchangeable，self-tormentingcovetousness，envy，pride，andwrath。OTheogenes！thatIhadpowerfromGodtotakethosedreadfulscalesoffmen’seyesthathinderthemfromseeingandfeelingtheinfiniteimportanceofthismostcertaintruth！

Godgiveablessing，Theophilus，toyourgoodprayer。Andthenletmetellyouthatyouhavequitesatisfiedmyquestionaboutthenatureofself。Ishallneverforgetit，norcanIeverpossiblyafterthishaveanydoubtaboutthetruthofit。’

1。’Allmytheology，’saidanoldfriendofminetomenotlongago——’allmytheologyisoutofThomasGoodwintotheEphesians。’

Well，IfindThomasGoodwinsayinginthatgreatbookthatselfistheveryquintessenceoforiginalsin；and，again，hesays，studyself-loveforathousandyearsanditisthetopandthebottomoforiginalsin；selfisthesinthatdwellethinusandthatdothmosteasilybesetus。Now，thatisjustwhatAcademicusandTheophilusandTheogeneshavebeensayingtousintheirownpowerfulwayintheirincomparabledialogue。Allsinandallmisery；allcovetousness，envy，pride，andwrath，——traceitallbacktoitsroots，travelitalluptoitssource，and，assureasyoudothat，selfandself-lovearethatsource，thatroot，andthatblackbottom。IdonotforgetthatButlerhassaidinsomestatelypagesofhisthatself-loveismorallygood；thatself-loveiscoincidentwiththeprincipleofvirtueandpartoftheidea；

andthatitisapropermotiveforman。Butthedeepbishop，insayingallthat，isawaybackatthecreation-schemeandEden-stateofhumannature。Hehasnotasyetcomedowntohumannatureinitspresentstateofoverthrow，dismemberment，andself-

destruction。Butwhenhedoescondescendandcomesclosetothemindandtheheartofmanastheynowareinallmen，evenButlerbecomesasoutspoken，andaseloquent，andasfullofpassionandpathosasifhewereanevangelicalPuritan。Self-love，Butlerstartleshissober-mindedreaderasheburstsout——self-loverendsanddistortsthemindofman！Now，youareaman。Well，then，doyoufeelandconfessthatrendinganddistortingtohavetakenplaceinyou？Butlerisaphilosopher，andGoodwinisapreacher，butyouaremore:youareaman。Youaretheownerofahumanheart，andyoucansaywhetherornoitisarentandadistortedheart。Isyourmindwarpedandwrenchedbyself-love，andisyourheartrentandtornbythesamewickedhands？Doyoureallyfeelthatitneedsnothingmoretotakeyoubackagaintoparadisebutthatyourheartbedeliveredfromself-love？Doyounowunderstandthatthefoundationsofheavenitselfmustbelaidinahearthealedandcleansedanddeliveredfromself-love？Ifyoudo，thenyourknowledgeofyourownhearthassetyouabreastofthegreatestofphilosophersandtheologiansandpreachers。Nay，beforemultitudesofmenwhoarecalledsuch。Itismymeditationalltheday，yousay。Ihavemoreunderstandingnowthanallmyteachers；forThytestimoniesaremymeditation。Iunderstandmorethantheancients；becausenowIkeepThyprecepts。

2。’Self-lovehasmadeusallmalicious，’saysJohnCalvin。WeareCalvinists，werewetocallanymanmaster。Butwearetocallnomanmaster，andleastofallinthemattersoftheheart。Everymanmustbehisownphilosopher，hisownmoralist，andhisowntheologianinthemattersoftheheart。HewhohasaheartinhisbosomandaneyeinhisheadcanneednoCalvin，noButler，noGoodwin，andnoLawtotellhimwhatgoesoninhisownheart。

And，ontheotherhand，hisownheartwillsoontellhimwhetherornoCalvin，andButler，andGoodwin，andLawknowanythingaboutthosemattersonwhichsomemenwouldsetthemupasourmasters。

Well，comeawayallofyouwhoownahumanheart。Comeandsaywhetherornoyourheart，andtheself-loveofwhichitisfull，havemadeyouamaliciousman。Idonotaskifyouarealwaysandtoeverybodyfullofmaliciousness。No；Iknowquitewellthatyouaresometimesassweetashoneyandassoftasbutter。For，hasnotevenTheophilussaidthatwhilstamanstilllivesamongthevanitiesoftime，hiscovetousness，hisenvy，hispride，andhiswrathmaybeinatolerablestate，andmayhelphimtoamixtureofpeaceandtrouble；thesevicesmayhavetheirgratificationsaswellastheirtorments。No；Idonottriflewithyouandwiththisseriousmattersoastoaskifyouarefullofmaliceatalltimesandtoallmen。No。For，letamanbefortunateenoughtobeonyourside；lethimpassovertoyourparty；lethimbecomeprofitabletoyou；lethimbecleverenoughandmeanenoughtopraiseandtoflatteryouuptothetopofyourappetiteforpraiseandflattery，and，nodoubt，youwilllovethatman。Or，ifthatisnotexactlylove，atleastitisnolongerhate。Butletthatmanunfortunatelybeledtoleaveyourparty；lethimceasebeingprofitabletoyou；lethimwearyofflatteringyouwithhispraise；

lethimforgetyou，neglectyou，despiseyou，andgoagainstyou，andthenlookatyourownheart。Doyoucarenowtoknowwhatmaliceis？Well，thatismalicethatdistortsandrendsyourheartasoftenasyoumeetthatmanonthestreetorevenpassbyhisdoor。Thatismalicethatdancesinyoureyeswhenyouseehisnameinprint。Thatismalicewithwhichyoualwaysbreakoutwhenhisnameismentionedinconversation。Thatismalicethatheatsyourheartwhenyousuddenlyrecollecthiminthemultitudeofyourthoughtswithinyou。Andyouareingoodcompanyallthetime。

’We，ourselves，’saysPaultoTitus，’wealsoatonetimelivedinmaliceandinenvy。Wewerehatefulandwehatedoneanother。’

’Hateful，’Goodwingoesoninhisgreatbook，’everymanistoanothermanmoreorless；heishatedofanotherandhehatethanothermoreorless；andifhisnaturewereletouttothefull，thereisthatinhim，”everymanisagainsteveryman，”asissaidofIshmael。Homohominilupus，’addsourbravepreacher。AndAbbeGrouspeaksoutwiththesamechallengefromtheoppositechurchpole，andsays:’Yes；self-lovemakesustouchy，readytotakeoffence，ill-tempered，suspicious，severe，exacting，easilyoffended；itkeepsaliveinourheartsacertainmalignity，asecretjoyatthemortificationswhichbefallourneighbour；itnourishesourreadinesstocriticise，ourdislikeatcertainpersons，ourill-feeling，ourbitterness，andathousandotherthingsprejudicialtocharity。’

3。’Myselfismyownworstenemy，’saysAbbeGrou。Thatistosay，wemayhaveenemieswhohateusmorethanwehateourselves，andenemieswhowouldhurtus，iftheycould，asmuchaswehurtourselves；buttheAbbe’spointisthattheycannot。Andheisright。NomanhaseverhurtmeasIhavehurtmyself。Therearemenwhohatemesomuchthattheywouldpoisonmylifeofallitspeaceandhappinessiftheycould。Buttheycannot。Theycannot；

butletthemnotbecastdownonthataccount，forthereisonewhocando，andwhowilldoaslongashelives，whattheycannotdo。

Aman’sfoes，tobecalledfoes，areinhisownhouse:theyareinhisownheart。Letourenemiesattendtotheirownpeaceandhappiness，andourself-lovewilldoall，andmorethanall，thattheywouldfaindo。Atthemost，theyandtheirill-willcanonlygiveoccasiontoourself-love；butitisourself-lovethatseizesupontheoccasion，andthroughitrendsanddistortsourownhearts。Andwereourheartsonlypureofself-love，wereourheartsonlyclothedwithmeeknessandhumility，wecouldlaughatalltheill-willofourenemiesasleviathanlaughsattheshakingofaspear。’Knowthou，’saysAKempistohisson，’thattheloveofthyselfdothdotheemorehurtthananythinginthewholeworld。’Yes；butweshallneverknowthatbymerelyreadingTheImitation。Wemustreadourselves。Wemuststudy，aswestudynothingelse，ourownrentanddistortedhearts。Ourownheartsmustbeourdailydiscovery。Wemustwatchthewoundsourheartstakeeveryday；andwemustgiveallourpowersofmindtotracingallourwoundsbacktotheirtruecauses。Wemustsay:’thatsoreblowcameonmymindandonmyheartfromsuchandsuchaquarter，fromsuchandsuchahand，fromsuchandsuchaweapon；butthispain，thisrankling，poisoned，andever-festeringwound，thissleepless，gnawing，canceroussore，comesfromthecovetousness，thepride，theenvy，andthewrathofmyownheart。’Whenwebegintosaythat，weshallthenbegintounderstandandtoloveThomas；

weshallsitdailyathisfeetandshallbenumberedamonghissons。

4。Andthissufferingatourownhandsgoesontillatlastthetablesarecompletelyturnedagainstself-love，andtillwhatwasoncetousthedearestthinginthewholeworldbecomes，asPascalsays，themosthateful。Webeginlifebyhatingthemen，andthethings，whohurtus。Wehatethemenwhoopposeusandhinderus；

themenwhospeak，andwrite，andact，andgoinanywayagainstus。Webitterlyhateallwhohumbleus，despiseus，trampleuponus，andinanywayill-useus。Butafterwards，whenwehavebecomemen，meninexperienceofthislife，and，especially，ofourselvesinthislife；afterwegainsomerealinsightandattaintosomerealskillinthelifeoftheheart，wecomeroundtoforgivethoseweoncehated。Wehavecomenowtoseewhytheydidit。Weseenowexactlyhowmuchtheyhurtusafterall，andhowlittle。And，especially，wehavecometosee，——whatatonetimewecouldnothavebelieved，——thatallourhurt，tobecalledhurt，hascometousfromourselves。Andthusthatgreatrevolutionofmindandthatgreatrevulsionoffeelingandofpassionhastakenplace，afterwhichweareleftwithnoonehenceforthtohate，tobecalledhating，butourselves。Wemaystillcontinuetoavoidourenemies，andwemaydothattoolongandtoomuch；wemaycontinuetofearthemandbeonthewatchagainstthemfartoomuch；buttodeliberatelyhatethemishenceforthimpossible。Allourhatred，——

allourdeliberate，steady，rooted，activehatred，——isnowatourselves；atourselves，thatis，sofarandsolongasweremainunderthemalignantandhatefuldominionofself-love。WhenButlergetsourself-loverestoredtoreasonableness，andmadecoincidentwithvirtueandpartoftheidea；whenourself-lovebecomesuniformlycoincidentwiththeprincipleofobediencetoGod’scommands，thenweshallloveourselvesasourneighbour，andourneighbourasourselves，andbothinGod。But，tillthen，thereisnothingandnooneonearthorinhellsohatefultousasourselvesandourownhatefulhearts。Andifinthatwearetreadingthewinepressaloneasfarasourfellow-menareconcerned，allthemorewehaveHimwithusinallouragonywhoweptovertheheartofmanbecauseHeknewwhatwasinit，andwhatmustalwayscomeoutofit。Evilthoughts，Hesaid，andfornications，andmurders，andthefts，andcovetousness，andwickedness，anddeceit，andanevileye，andpride，andfolly，andwhatnot。AndPaulhasthemindofChristwithhiminthetext。I

donotneedtorepeatagainthehatefulwords。Now，whatdoyousay？wasPascalbeyondthetruth，washedeeperthanthetruthormoredeadlythanthetruthwhenhesaidwithastabthatselfishateful？Ithinknot。

5。’OhthatIwerefree，then，ofmyself，’wroteSamuelRutherfordfromAberdeenin1637toJohnFergusonofOchiltree。’Whatneedweallhavetoberansomedandredeemedfromthatmaster-tyrant，thatcruelandlawlesslord，ourself！EvenwhenIammostoutofmyself，andambestservingChrist，Ihaveasquinteyeonmyself。’

AndtotheLairdofCallyinthesameyearandfromthesameplace:

’Myselfisthemasteridolweallbowdownto。Everymanblameththedevilforhissins，butthehousedevilofeverymanthateatethwithhimandliethinhisbosomishimself。Ohblessedaretheywhocandenythemselves！’AndtotheIrishministerstheyearafter:’Exceptmenmartyrandslaythebodyofsininsanctifiedself-denial，theyshallneverbeChrist’s。Oh，ifIcouldbutbemasterofmyself，myownmind，myownwill，myowncredit，myownlove，howblessedwereI！Butalas！IshalldieonlymintingandaimingatbeingaChristian。’

CHAPTERVIII——OLDMR。PREJUDICE，THEKEEPEROFEAR-GATE，WITHHIS

SIXTYDEAFMENUNDERHIM

’ArenotAbanaandPharpar，riversofDamascus，betterthanallthewatersofIsrael？’——Naaman。

’CanthereanygoodthingcomeoutofNazareth？’——Nathanael。

’……observethesethingswithoutprejudice，doingnothingbypartiality。’——Paul。

OldMr。PrejudicewaswellknowninthewarsofMansoulasanangry，unhappy，andill-conditionedoldchurl。OldMr。PrejudicewasplacedbyDiabolus，hismaster，askeeperofthewardatthepostofEar-gate，andforthatfatalservicehehadsixtycompletelydeafmenputunderhimashiscompany。Meneminentlyadvantageousforthatfatalservice。Eminentlyadvantageous，——

inasmuchasitmatterednotoneatomtothemwhatwasspokenintheireareitherbyGodorbyman。

1。Now，tobeginwith，thischurlisholdmanhadalreadyearnedforhimselfaveryevilname。ForwhatnamecouldwellbemorefullofevilmemoriesandofevilomensthanjustthisnameofPrejudice？Justconsiderwhatprejudiceis。Prejudice，whenwestopoveritandtakeittopiecesandlookwellatit，——prejudiceissobadandsoabominablethatyouwouldnotbelieveitcouldbesobadtillyouhadlookedatitandathowitactsinyourowncase。Forprejudicegivesjudgmentonyourcaseandgivesordersforyourexecutionbeforeyourdefencehasbeenheard，beforeyourwitnesseshavebeencalled，beforeyoursummonshasbeenserved，ay，andevenbeforeyourindictmenthasbeendrawnout。Whatascandalandwhatanuproaramalfeasanceofjusticelikethatwouldcauseifitweretotakeplaceinanyofourcourtsoflaw！Only，thethingisimpossible；youcannotevenimagineit。WeshallhaveMagnaChartaupbeforeusinthecourseoftheselectures。Well，eversinceMagnaChartawasextortedfromKingJohn，suchascandalasIhavesupposedhasbeenimpossibleeitherinEnglandorinScotland。AndthatsuchcasesshouldstillbepossibleinRussiaandinTurkeyplacesthosetwoolddespotismsoutsidethepaleofthecivilisedworld。Andyet，loudlyaswealldenouncetheCzarandtheSultan，eloquentlyasweboastoverMagnaCharta，HabeasCorpus，andwhatnot，everydayyouandIaredoingwhatwouldcostanEnglishkinghiscrown，andanEnglishjudgehishead。Wealldoiteveryday，anditneverentersonemindoutofahundredthatwearetramplingdowntruth，andrighteousness，andfairplay，andbrotherlylove。Wedonotknowwhatadiabolicalwickednessweareperpetratingeveryday。Thebestmenamongusareguiltyofthatiniquityeveryday，andtheyneverconfessittothemselves；nooneeveraccusesthemofit；andtheygodowntodeathandjudgmentunsuspiciousofthediscoverythattheywillsoonmakethere。Youwouldnotstealastickorastrawthatbelongedtome；butyoustealfrommeeverydaywhatallyourgoldandminecanneverredeem；youmurdermeeverydayinmybestandmynoblestlife。

Youme，andIyou。

2。OldMr。Prejudice。Now，thereisagoldenpassageinJonathanEdwards’sDiarythatalloldmenshouldlaywelltoheartandconscience。’Iobserve，’Edwardsenters，’thatoldmenseldomhaveanyadvantageofnewdiscoveries，becausethesediscoveriesarebesideawayofthinkingtheyhavebeenlongusedto。Resolved，therefore，that，ifeverIlivetoyears，Iwillbeimpartialtohearthereasonsofallpretendeddiscoveries，andreceivethem，ifrational，howlongsoeverIhavebeenusedtoanotherwayofthinking。Iamtoodogmatical；Ihavetoomuchofegotism；mydispositionisalwaystobetellingofmydislikeandmyscorn。’

Whatafine，fresh，fruitful，progressive，andpeacefulworldweshouldsoonhaveifallouroldandallourfast-ageingmenwouldenterthatextractintotheirdiary！Howtheyoungwouldthenloveandhonourandleanupontheold；andhowallthefatherswouldalwaysabideyoungandfullofyouthfullifeliketheirchildren！

Thentherighteousshouldflourishlikethepalm-tree；heshouldgrowlikeacedarinLebanon。TheythatbeplantedinthehouseoftheLordshallflourishinthecourtsofourGod。Theyshallstillbringforthfruitinoldage；theyshallbefatandflourishing。

WhatafreescopewouldthenbegiventoallGod’sunfoldingprovidences，andwhatawarmwelcometoallHisadvancingtruths！

Whatsoreandspreadingwoundswouldthenbesalved，whathealthandwhatvigourwouldfillallthebodypolitical，aswellasallthebodymystical！MaytheLordturntheheartofthefatherstothechildren，andtheheartofthechildrentotheirfathers，lesttheearthbesmittenwithacurse！

3。Mr。Prejudicewasanoldman；andthisalsohasbeenhandeddownabouthim，thathewasalmostalwaysangry。AndifyoukeepyoureyesopenyouwillsoonseehowtruetothelifethatfeatureofoldMr。Prejudicestillis。Ineveryconversation，discussion，debate，correspondence，theangrymanisinvariablytheprejudicedman；and，accordingtotheageandthedepth，therootednessandtheintensityofhisprejudices，soistheferocityandthesavageryofhisanger。Hehasalreadysettledthiscasethatyouareirritatingandwronginghimsomuchbyyourstillinsistingonbringingup。Itisareproachtohisunderstandingforyoutothinkthatthereisanythingtobesaidinthatmatterthathehasnotlongagoheardsaidandfullyanswered。Hashenotdenouncedthatbadmanandthatbadcauseforyears？Youinsultme，sir，byagainopeningupthatmatterinmypresence。Hewillhavenoneofyouorofyourargumentseither。Youareasbadyourselfasthatbadmaniswhoseadvocateyouare。Weallknowmenwhoseheartsarefullofcoalsofjuniper，burningcoalsofhateandrage，justbyreasonoftheirferociousprejudices。Hateistoofeebleawordfortheirgnashingrageagainstthismanandthatcause，thismovementandthatinstitution。Thereisanabsolutelymurderouslightintheireyeastheyworkthemselvesupagainstthemenandthethingstheyhate。Charityrejoicesnotininiquity；butyouwillseeotherwiseChristianandcharitablemensojockeyedbythedevilthattheyactuallyrejoiceininiquityanddonotknowwhattheyaredoing，orwhoitisthatiseggingthemontodoit。Youwillseeotherwiseandatothertimesgoodmensofulloftherageandmadnessofprejudiceandpartialitythattheywillstormateveryreportofgoodnessandtruthandprosperityintheman，orinthecause，orinthechurch，orintheparty，theyaresodementedagainst。Jockeyisnottheword。ThereisthelasttriumphofpuredevilryinthewaythattheprinceofthedevilsturnsoldPrejudice’sverybestthings——hisloveofhisfathers，hisloveofthepast，hisloveoforder，hisloveofloyalty，hisloveoftheoldpaths，andhisverytruestandbestreligionitself——intosomuchfatfuelforthefiresofhateandragethatareconsuminghisproudhearttored-hotashes。Ifthelightthatisinusbedarkness，howgreatisthatdarkness；andifthelifethatisinusbedeath，howdeadlyisthatdeath！

4。Old，angry，andill-conditioned。Ill-conditionedisanold-

fashionedwordalmostgoneoutofdate。But，allthesame，itisaveryexpressive，andtousto-nightaquiteindispensableword。Anill-conditionedmanisamanofanin-bred，cherished，andconfirmedill-nature。Hisheart，whichwasasufficientlybadhearttobeginwith，isnowsoexercisedinevilandsoaccustomedtoevil，that，——howcanhebebornagainwhenheissooldandsoill-natured？Allthequalities，allthepassions，alltheemotionsofhisheartareoutofjoint；theirbentisbad；theyrunoutnaturallytomischief。Now，whatcouldpossiblybemoreill-

conditionedthantojudgeandsentence，denounceandexecuteamanbeforeyouhaveheardhiscase？Whatcouldbemoreill-conditionedthanpositivelytobeafraidlestyoushouldbeledtoforgive，andredress，andlove，andactwithanotherman？Tobedeterminednottohearonewordthatyoucanhelpinhisdefence，inhisfavour，andinhispraise？Couldahumanheartbeinaworsestateonthissidehellitselfthanthat？Nay，thatishellitselfinyourevilheartalready。Letprejudiceandpartialityhavetheirfullscopeamongthewickedpassionsofyourill-conditionedheart，andlo！

thekingdomofdarknessisalreadywithinyou。Not，lo，here！or，lo，there！butwithinyou。Looktoyourselves，saysJohntousall，fullasweallareofourownill-conditions。Looktoyourselves。Butwehavenoeyesleftwithwhichtoseeourselves；

welooksomuchatthefaultsandtheblamesofourneighbour。

’Publiusgoestochurchsometimes，andreadstheScriptures；butheknowsnotwhathereadsorprays，hisheadissofullofpolitics。

Heissoangryatkingsandministersofstatethathehasnotimenordispositiontocallhimselftoaccount。Hehasthehistoryofallparliaments，elections，prosecutions，andimpeachmentsbyheart，andhedieswithlittleornoreligion，throughaconstantfearofPopery。’Poor，old，ill-conditionedPublius！

5。And，then，hissixtydeafmenunderold，angry，ill-conditionedPrejudice。Wereadofenginesofsixty-horsepower。Andhereisamanwiththepowerofresistingandshuttingoutthetruthequaltothatofsixtymenlikehimself。Weallknowsuchmen；wewouldassoonthinkofspeakingtothoseironpillarsaboutachangeofmindaswewouldtothem。Ifyoupreachtotheirprejudicesandtheirprepossessionsandtheirpartialities，theyareallearstohearyou，andalltonguestotrumpetyourpraise。Butdonotexpectthemtositstillwithordinarydecencyunderwhattheyaresoprejudicedagainst；donotexpectthemtoreadabookorbuyapassingpaperontheotherside。Sixtydeafmenholdtheirears；

sixtyill-conditionedmenholdtheirhearts。Habitwiththemisallthetestoftruth；itmustberight，they’vedoneitfromtheiryouth。Andthustheygoontotheendoftheirtermoflife，fulloftheirownfixedideas，withtheireyesfullofbeamsandjaundicesanddarknessanddeath。Somepeoplethinkthatwetakeuptoomuchofourtimewithnewspapersinourday，andthat，ifthingsgoonastheyaregoing，weshallsoonhaveneithertimenortasteforanythingelsebuthalfadozenpapersaday。Butallthatdependsontheconditionswithwhichweread。IfwewouldreadasJonathanEdwardsreadtheweeklynews-lettersofhisday；

ifwereadallourpaperstoseeifthekingdomofGodwascominginreplytoourprayer；ifweread，observingallthings，likeTimothy，withoutprejudiceorpartiality，thenIknownobetterreadingforanill-conditionedheartbeguntolooktoitselfthanjustagood，out-and-outpartynewspaper。Andifitisachurchpaperallthebetterforyourpurpose。Ifyoureadwithyourfingersinyourears；ifyoureadwithabeaminyoureye，youhadbetterconfineyourselfinyourreading；ifyoufeelthatyourprejudicesareinflamedandyourpartialityisintensified，thentakecarewhatpaperyoutakein。Butifyoureadallyoureadfortheloveofthetruth，forjustice，forfair-play，andforbrotherlylove，andallthatinyourself；ifyoureadallthetimewithyoureyesonyourownill-conditionedheart，then，asJamessays，countitalljoywhenyoufallintodiverstemptations。Takeupyourpoliticalandecclesiasticalpapereverymorning，sayingtoyourself，Goto，Omyheart，andgetthydailylesson。Goto，andenterthycleansingandrefiningfurnace。Goto，andcomewelloutofthydailytemptation——Anoblerschoolyouwillnotfindanywhereforaprejudiced，partial，angry，andill-conditionedheartthanjustthepartyjournalsoftheday。Fortheabatingofprejudice；forseeingtheodiousnessofpartiality，andforputtingoneverydayafair，open，catholic，Christianmind，commendmetothepubliclifeandthepublicjournalsofourlivingday。Anditisnotthatthismanmaybeupandthatmandown；thiscausevictoriousandthatcausedefeated；thistruthvindicatedandthatuntruthdefeated，thatpublicliferollsonandthatitsrevolutionsarereportedtous。Ourownmindsandourownheartsarethefinalcause，theultimatedrift，andthefar-offendandaimofitall。Wearenotmadeforpartyandforthepartialitiesandprosperitiesofparty；partyandallitspassionsandallitssuccessesandallitsdefeatsaremade，andarepermittedtobemadeforus；forouropportunityofpurgingourselvesfreeofallourill-conditions，ofallourprejudices，ofallourpartialities，andofallthesinandmiserythatcometousofallthesethings。

6。’Itistheworkofaphilosopher，’saysAddisoninoneofhisbestSpectators，’tobeeverydaysubduinghispassionsandlayingasidehisprejudices。’Wearenotphilosophers，butweshallbeenrolledintheforemostranksofphilosophyifweimitatesuchphilosophersintheirdailywork，aswemustdoandshalldo。

Well，arewebeguntodoit？Areweengagedinthatworkoftheirsandourseveryday？IsGodourwitnessandourjudgethatweare？

Arewesoengageduponthatinwardwork，andsosucceedinginit，thatwecanreadourmostprejudicednewspaperwiththesamemindandspirit，withthesameprofitandprogress，withwhichwereadourBible？Agoodman，ahumbleman，amanacutelysensibleofhisill-conditions，willlookoneverydayaslostorwonaccordingashehaslostorwoninthisinwardwar。Ifhispartialitiesaredroppingoffhismind；ifhisprejudicesaremelting；ifhecanreadbooksandpaperswithpleasureandinstructionthatoncefilledhimwithdarkpassionsandangryoutbursts；ifhisCalvinismletshimreadThomasAKempisandJeremyTaylorandWilliamLaw；ifhisHigh-ChurchismletshimdelighttoworshipGodinanIndependentoraPresbyterianchurch；ifhisFree-ChurchismpermitshimtoseetheEstablishmentreviving，andhisState-ChurchismadmitsthattheFreeChurcheshavemoretosaytohimthanhehadatonetimethought；ifhisToryismletshimtakeinaRadicalpaper，andhisRadicalismaUnionistpaper——thenlethimthankGod，forGodisinallthatthoughheknewitnot。AndwhenhecountsuphisincalculablebenefitsateachreturnoftheLord’stable，lethimcountupasnottheleastofthemanopenmindandawell-

conditionedheart，anunprejudicedmind，andanimpartialheart。

7。Andnow，toconclude:Takeold，angry，ill-conditionedPrejudice，hisdailyprayer:’MyAdorableGodandCreator！ThyHolyChurchisbythewickednessofmendividedintovariouscommunions，allhating，condemning，andendeavouringtodestroyoneanother。Imadenoneofthesedivisions，noramIanylongeradefenderofthem。IwisheverythingremovedoutofeverycommunionthathinderstheCommonUnity。ThewranglingsanddisputingsofwholechurchesandnationshavesoconfoundedallthingsthatI

havenoabilitytomakeatrueandjustjudgmentofthemattersbetweenthem。IfIknewthatanyoneofthesecommunionswasaloneacceptabletoThee，Iwoulddoorsufferanythingtomakemyselfamemberofit。For，myGoodGod，IdesirenothingsomuchastoknowandtoloveThee，andtoworshipTheeinthemostacceptablemanner。AndasIhumblypresumethatThouwouldstnotsufferThyChurchtobethusuniversallydivided，ifnodividedportioncouldofferanyworshipacceptableuntoThee；andasIhavenoknowledgeofwhatisabsolutelybestinthesedividedparts，noranyabilitytoputanendtothem；soIfullytrustinThygoodness，thatThouwiltnotsufferthesedivisionstoseparatemefromThymercyinChristJesus；andthat，iftherebeanybetterwaysofservingTheethanthoseIalreadyenjoy，Thouwilt，accordingtoThineinfinitemercy，leadmeintothem，OGodofmypeaceandmylove。’Afterthismannerold，angry，ill-conditionedPrejudiceprayedeverydaytillhedied，alittlechild，incharitywithallmen，andinacceptancewithAlmightyGod。

CHAPTERIX——CAPTAINANYTHING

’Iammadeallthingstoallmen……Ipleaseallmeninallthings。’——PaulCaptainAnythingcameoriginallyfromtheancienttownofFair-

speech。

Fair-speechhadmanyroyalbountiesandmanyspecialprivilegesbestoweduponit，andCaptainAnythingandhisfamilyhadcometomanytitlesandtogreatrichesinthatancient，loyal，andhonourableborough。MyLordTurn-about，myLordTime-server，myLordFair-speech(fromwhoseancestorsthattownfirsttookitsname)，asalsosuchwell-knowncommonersasMr。Smooth-man，Mr。

Facing-both-ways，andMr。Two-tongueswereallsprungwithCaptainAnythingfromthesameancientandlong-establishedancestry。Astohisreligion，fromachildyoungAnythinghadsatundertheparsonoftheparish，thesameReverendTwo-tonguesashasbeenmentionedabove。Andourbuddingsoldierfollowedtheexampleofhisministerinthatheneverstrovetoolongagainstwindortide，orwasevertobeseenonthesamesideofthestreetwithReligionwhenshewasbanishedfromcourtorhadlosthersilverslippers。

ThecrestoftheAnythingswasadelicatelypoisedweather-cock；

andthemottoengravedaroundthegyratingbirdranthus:’Ourjudgmentalwaysjumpsaccordingtotheoccasion。’Asamilitaryman，CaptainAnythingisdescribedinmilitarybooksasaproperman，andamanofcourageandskill——toappearance。HeandhiscompanyunderhimwereasortofSwissguardinMansoul。Theyheldthemselvesopenandreadyforanymaster。Theylivednotsomuchbyreligionorbyloyaltyasbythefatesofworldlyfortune。InhissecretdespatchesDiaboluswaswonttoaddressCaptainAnythingasMyDarling；andbesureyourecruityourSwitzerswell，Diaboluswouldsay；butwhentherealstressofthewarcame，evenDiaboluscastCaptainAnythingoff。Andthusitcameaboutthatwhenbothsideswereagainstthisdespisedcreaturehehadtothrowdownhisarmsandfleeintoasafeskulkingplaceforhislife。

***Spellcheckedtohere——85***

1。Inthathalf-papist，half-atheisticcountrycalledFrancethereisaclassofpoliticiansknownbythenameofOpportunists。Theyareakindofpublicmenthat，wearethankfultosay，arenotknowninProtestantandEvangelicalEngland，buttheymaybepicturedoutanddescribedtoyouinthishomelyway:AnOpportuniststandswelloutofthesparksofthefire，andwellinbehindthestonewall，tillthefanaticsforliberty，equality，andfraternityhavesnatchedthechestnutsoutofthefire，andthentheOpportuniststepsoutfromhissafeplaceandblandlydividesthewell-roastedtid-bitsamonghisfamilyandhisfriends。Aslongasthereisanyjeopardy，theJacobinsaredenouncedandhelduptoopprobrium；butwhenthejeopardyandtheriskarewellpast，thesober-minded，cautious，conservative，andresponsiblestatesmenwalkoffwiththeportfoliosofplaceandprivilegeandpayundertheirhonestarms。Butthesearetheunprincipledpapistsandinfidelsofamushroomrepublic；and，thankGod，suchspuriouspatriotism，andsuchshamandselfishstatesmanship，havenotyetshowntheirmiserableheadsamongfaithful，fearless，straightforward，anduncalculatingEnglishmen。Atthesametime，ifeverthatcontinentalviceshouldattackournationalcharacter，wehavetwowell-knownessaysinourethicalandcasuisticalliteraturethatmaywithperfectsafetybepittedagainstanythingthateitherFranceorItalyhasproduced。Eveniftheyarebutamaster’sirony，letallambitiousmenkeepOfCunningandOfWisdomforaMan’sSelfundertheirpillow。Letallyoungmenwhowouldtoadyagreatman；letallyoungministerswhowouldtunetheirpulpittoking，orcourt，orsociety；letalltradesmenandmerchantswhoprefertheirprofitstotheirprinciples——iftheyhaveliteratureenough，letthemsoaktheirhonestmindsinourgreatChancellor’ssagecounsels；andhewhopromotedAnythinganddubbedhimhisDarling，hewill，nodoubt，publishbothapostandatitleonhisbirthdayforyoualso。

2。’Whatreligionisheof？’asksDeanSwift。’HeisanAnythingarian，’istheanswer，’forhemakeshisself-interestthesolestandardofhislifeanddoctrine。’AndArchbishopLeighton，averydifferentchurchmanfromthebitterauthorofthePoliteConversations，isequallycontemptuoustowardtheself-seekerindivinethings。’Yourboastedpeaceablenessoftenproceedsfromasuperficialtemper；and，notseldom，fromasuperciliousdisdainofwhateverhasnomarketableuseorvalue，andfromyourutterindifferencetotruereligion。Tolerationisanherbofspontaneousgrowthinthesoilofindifference。Muchofourunionofmindsproceedsfromwantofknowledgeandfromwantofaffectiontoreligion。Manywhoboastoftheirchurchconformity，andthatnoonehearsoftheirnoise，maythanktheignoranceoftheirmindsforthatkindofquietness。’Butbyfarthemostpowerfulassaultthateverwasmadeuponlukewarmnessinreligionanduponself-

seekingintheChurchwasdeliveredbyDanteinthetremendousthirdcantoofhisInferno:-

Varioustongues，Horriblelanguages，outcriesofwoe，Accentsofanger，voicesdeepandhoarse，Withhandstogethersmotethatswelledthesounds，MadeupatumultthatforeverwhirlsRoundthroughthatairwithsoliddarknessstain’d，Liketothesandthatinthewhirlwindflies。

Ithen，witherroryetencompass’d，cried，’Omaster！WhatisthisIhear？WhatraceArethese，whoseemsoovercomewithwoe？’

Hethentome:’ThismiserablefateSufferthewretchedsoulsofthosewholivedWithoutorpraiseorblame，withthatillbandOfangelsmixed，whonorrebelliousproved，NoryetweretruetoGod，butforthemselvesWereonly。MercyandJusticescornthemboth。

Speaknotofthem，butlookandpassthemby。’

Forthwith，IunderstoodforcertainthisthetribeOfthoseillspiritsbothtoGoddispleasingAndtoHisfoes。Thosewretcheswhone’erlived，Wentoninnakedness，andsorelystungBywaspsandhornets，whichbedewedtheircheeksWithblood，thatmix’dwithtearsdropp’dtotheirfeet，Andbydisgustfulwormswasgatheredthere。

3。Now，wemustalllayitcontinuallyandwithuttermosthumiliationtoheartthatweallhaveCaptainAnything’sopportunism，hisself-interest，hisinsincerity，hisinstability，andhissecretdeceitfulnessinourselves。Thatmanknowslittleofhimselfwhodoesnotdespiseandhatehimselfforhissecretself-seekingevenintheserviceofGod。For，howtheloveofpraisewillseduceandcorruptthisman，andtheloveofgainthatman！Howeasyitistoflatterandadulatethismanoutofallhisformeropinionsandhisdeepestprinciples，andhowanexpectedadvantagewillmakethatothermanforgetnowanoldallianceandnowadeepantipathy！Howoftenthesidewetakeeveninthemostmomentousmattersisdecidedbythemostunworthymotivesandthemostcontemptibleconsiderations！Unstableaswater，Reubenshallnotexcel。Double-mindedmen，we，likeJacob’sfirst-born，areunstableinallourways。Wehavenoanchor，or，whatanchorwesometimeshavesoonslips。Wehavenofixedpole-starbywhichtosteerourlife。Anywill-o’-the-wispofpleasure，oradvantage，orpraisewillrunusontherocks。ThesearchersofMansoul，afterlongsearch，atlastlightedonAnything，andsoonmadeanendofhim。Seekhimoutinyourownsoulalso。Beyousureheissomewherethere。Heisskulkingsomewherethere。And，havingfoundhim，ifyoucannotonthespotmakeanendofhim，keepyoureyeonhim，andneversaythatyouaresafefromhimandhiscompanyaslongasyouareinthissoul-deceivinglife。And，thatAnythingwillnotbeletenterthegatesofthecityyouaresetonseeking，thatwillgolargelytomakethatsweetandcleanandtruthfulcityyourveryheaventoyou。

4。’Iammadeallthingstoallmen，andIpleaseallmeninallthings。’OnewouldalmostthinkthatwasCaptainAnythinghimself，inafrank，cynical，andself-censoriousmoment。Butifyouwilllookitupyouwillseethatitwasaverydifferentman。ThewordsarethewordsofAnything，buttheheartbehindthewordsistheheartofPaul。Andthis，again，teachesusthatweshouldbeliketheMessiahinthisalso，nottojudgeafterthesightofoureyes，nortoreproveafterthehearingofourears。MiserableAnything！outcastalikeofheavenandhell！But，OnobleandblessedApostle！theman，saysThomasGoodwin，whoshallbefoundseatednexttoJesusChristHimselfinthekingdomofGod。HappyPaul:happyevenonthisearth，sincehecouldsay，andinthemeasurehecouldsaywithtruthandwithsincerity，suchself-

revelationsasthese:’UntotheJewsIambecomeasaJewthatI

mightgaintheJews；tothemthatareunderthelaw，asunderthelaw，thatImightgainthemthatareunderthelaw。Tothemthatarewithoutlaw，aswithoutlaw，thatImightgainthemthatarewithoutlaw。TotheweakbecameIasweak，thatImightgaintheweak；Iammadeallthingstoallmen，thatImightbyallmeanssavesome。Givingnoneoffence，neithertotheJews，nortotheGentiles，nortotheChurchofGod。EvenasIpleaseallmeninallthings，notseekingmineownprofit，buttheprofitofmany，thattheymaybesaved。’Noblewords，andinspiringtoread。Yes:

butlookwithin，andthinkwhatPaulmusthavepassedthrough；

thinkwhathemusthavebeenputthroughbeforehe，——amanoflikeselfishpassionsasweare，amanoflikeselfishpassionsasAnythingwas，——couldsayallthat。Lethiscrossesandhisthorns；

hisrapturesuptothethirdheaven，andhisbodyofdeaththatheboreaboutwithhimallhisdays；lethismagnificentspiritualgifts，andhisstillmoremagnificentspiritualgracestellhowtheyallworkedtogethertomakethechiefofsinnersoutoftheblamelessPharisee，and，atthesametime，Christ’sownchosenvesselandtheapostleofallthechurches。Boastingabouthispatronapostle，St。Augustinesays:’Farbeitfromsogreatanapostle，avesselelectofGod，anorganoftheHolyGhost，tobeonemanwhenhepreachedandanotherwhenhewrote；onemaninprivateandanotherinpublic。Hewasmadeallthingstoallmen，notbythecraftofadeceiver，butfromtheaffectionofasympathiser，succouringthediversediseasesofsoulswiththediverseemotionsofcompassion；tothelittleonesdispensingthelesserdoctrines，notfalseones，butthehighermysteriestotheperfect——allofthem，however，true，harmonious，anddivine。’TheexquisiteironyofSocratescomesintomymindinthisconnection，andwillnotbekeptoutofmymind。ByinstinctaswellasbyartSocratesmixeduptheprofoundestseriousnesswiththehumorousaffectationofqualitiesofmindandevenofcharactertheexactoppositeofwhatallwholovedhimknewtobetherealSocrates。

’Intellectually，’saysDr。Thomson，’theacutestmanofhisage，Socratesrepresentshimselfinallcompaniesasthedullestpersonpresent。Morallythepurest，heaffectstobetheslaveofpassionandborrowsthelanguageevenofthelewdtodescribealoveandagoodwillfartooexaltedforthecomprehensionofhiscontemporaries。Thisironyofhisdisarmedridiculebyanticipatingit；itallayedjealousyandpropitiatedenvy；anditpossiblyprocuredhimadmissionintogaycirclesfromwhichamoresolemnteacherwouldhavebeenexcluded。Butallthetimeithadforitsbasisarealgreatnessofsoul，aheartyandanunaffecteddisregardofpublicopinion，aperfectdisinterestedness，andanentireabnegationofself。Hemadehimselfafoolinorderthatfoolsbyhisfollymightbemadewise；hehumbledhimselftothelevelofthoseamongwhomhisworklaythathemightraisesomefewamongthemtohisownlevel；hewasallthingstoallmen，ifbyanymeanshemightsavesome。TillAlcibiadesendsthesplendidelogethatPlatoputsintohismouthwiththesewords，”Allmymaster’sviceandstupidityandworshipofwealthyandgreatmeniscounterfeit。ItisallbuttheSilenus-maskwhichconcealsthefeaturesofthegodwithin；forifyouremovethecovering，howshallIdescribetoyou，myfriendsandbooncompanions，theexcellenceofthebeautyyouwillfindwithin！WhetheranyofyouhaveseenSocratesinhisseriousmood，whenhehasthrownasidethemaskanddisclosedthedivinefeaturesbeneathit，ismorethanIknow。ButIhaveseenthem，andIcantellyouthattheyseemedtomegloriousandmarvellous，and，truly，godlikeintheirbeauty。”’

Well，now，Igatheroutofallthatthisgreatlesson:thatitis，tobeginwith，amerematteroftemperament，orwhatWilliamLawwouldcallamerematterofcomplexionandsensibility，whether，tobeginwith，amanishard，anddry，andnarrow，andstiff，andproud，andscornful，andcruel；oragain，whetherheissoftandtender，broadandopen，andfullofsympathyandofthemilkofhumankindness。Atfirst，andtobeginwith，thereisneitherpraisenorblameasyetinthematter。Amanishardjustasastoneishard；itishisnature。Orheissoftasclayissoft；itisagainhisnature。But，inheritingsuchanature，andhisinheritednaturebeginningtoappear，thenisthetimewhenthetruemanreallybeginstobemade。Thebadmandwellsincontentment，and，indeed，bypreference，athomeinhisownhard，proud，scornful，resentfulheart；or，again，inhisfacile，fawning，tide-waiting，time-servingheart；andthushechooses，accepts，andprefershisevilfate，andneverseeksthehelpeitherofGodormantoenablehimtoriseaboveit。Paulwasnot，whenwemeethimfirst，thesweet，humble，affable，placable，makeablemanthathemadehimselfandcametobeafteralifetimeofgospel-

preachingandofadorningthegospelhepreached。AndalltheassistancesandalltheopportunitiesthatcametoPaularestillcomingtoyouandtome；till，whethernaturallypliableandaffectionateortheopposite，weatlastshallcometothetemperament，thecomplexion，andtheexquisitesensibilityofPaulhimself。Areyou，then，ahard，stiff，severe，censorious，proud，angry，scornfulman？Orareyouatoo-easy，too-facileman-pleaserandself-seeker，beingallthingstoallmenthatyoumaymakeuseofallmen？Areyou？Thensayso。Confessittobeso。Admitthatyouhavefoundyourselfout。Andreflecteverydaywhatyouhavegottodoinlife。Considerwhatanewbirthyouneedandmusthave。Numberyourdaysthatareleftyouinwhichtomakeyouanewheart，andanewnature，andanewcharacter。Considerwellhowyouaretosetaboutthatdivinework。Youhaveaminister，andyourministeriscalledadivinebecausebycourtesyheissupposedtounderstandthatdivinework，andtobeengagedonitnightanddayinhimself，andinseasonandoutofseasonamonghispeople。Hewilltellyouhowyouaretomakeyouanewheart。Or，ifhedoesnotandcannotdothat；ifhepreachesabouteverythingbutthattoapeoplewhowilllistentoanythingbutthat，thenyoursoulisnotinhishandsbutinyourown。Youmaynotbeabletochooseyourminister，butyoucanchoosewhatbooksyouaretobuy，orborrow，andread。Andifthereisnotaministerwithinahundredmilesofyouwhoknowshisrighthandfromhisleft，thentherearesurelysomebooksellerswhowilladviseyouabouttheclassicalbooksofthesoultillyoucanorderthemforyourselves。

Andthus，ifitisyourcurseandyourshametobeasspongy，andsoapy，andoily，andslipperyasAnythinghimself；ifyouchooseyourchurchandyourreadingwithanyoriginality，sense，andinsight，youneednotfearbutthatyouwillbeletlivetillyoudieanhonest，upright，honourable，fearlessgentleman:notimidfriendtounfashionabletruth，asyouareto-night，butamanlikeThomasBoston’sEttrickelder，wholieswaitingthelasttrumpunderagravestoneengravenwiththislegend:Hereliesamanwhohadabrowforeverygoodcause。Only，ifyouwouldhavethatwrittenandreadonyourheadstone，youhavenotimetolose。IfI

wereyouIwouldnotsitanotherSabbathunderaministerwhosepreachingwasnotchangingmynature，makingmyheartnew，andtransformingmycharacter；no，notthoughtheQueenherselfsatinthesameloft。AndIwouldleavethechurchevenofmyfathers，andbecomeanythingasfaraschurchesgo，ifIcouldgetaministerwhoheldmyfacecloseandevercloseruptomyownheart。

NorwouldIspendashillingoranhourthatIcouldhelponanyimpertinentbook，——anybookthatdidnotpowerfullyhelpmeintheoneremaininginterestofmyoneremaininglife:anewnatureandanewheart。No，notI。No，notIanymore。