第6章

Thesewerefashionablewomen——mostdelicate，sensitiveladies——atwhomheswore。Theywept，stayedon，advertisedhimasa``wonderfulseriousteacherwhowon’tstandanynonsenseanddoesn’tcareahangwhetheryoustayorgo——andhecanteachabsolutelyanybodytosing！’’Heknewhowtobegentlewithoutseemingtobeso。heknewhowtoflatterwithoututteringasinglewordthatdidnotseemtobereluctantpraiseorsavagecriticism。heknewhowtomakealadywithalittlevoiceworkenoughtomakeashowingthatwouldspurhertokeeponandonwithhim。heknewhowtoencouragearichwomanwithnomoresongthanapeacockuntilshewouldcometohimthreetimesaweekformanyyears——andhowhedidmakeherpayforwhathesufferedinlisteningtothehideoussquawkingsandyelpingssheinflicteduponhim！

DidJenningsthinkhimselfafraud？Nomorethanthenexthumanbeingwholivesbyfraud。Isthereanytradeorprofessionwhosepractitioners，inthebottomoftheirhearts，donotthinktheyarelivingexcusablyandperhapscreditably？TheJenningstheorywasthathewasagreatteacher。thattherewereonlyaveryfewseriousandworth-whileseekersofthesingingart。

thatinordertoliveandtoteachthesefew，hehadtoreceivetheothers。that，anyhow，singingwasafineartforanyonetohaveandtakingsinginglessonsmadetheworstvoicealittlelessbad——or，attheleast，singingwassplendidforthehealth。Oneofhisfavoritedictawas，``Everychildshouldbetaughtsinging——

foritshealth，iffornothingelse。’’Andperhapshewasright！Atanyrate，hemadehisfortytofiftythousandayear——andondayswhenhehadasuccessionofthenoisy，tunelesssquawkers，hefeltthathemorethanearnedeverycentofit。

Mildreddidnotpenetratefarintothesecretofthemoney-makingbranchoftheJenningsmethod。Itwascrudeenough，too。Butarenotallthefraudsthatfoolthehumanracecrude？Humanbeingsbothcannotandwillnotlookbeneathsurfaces。AllMildredlearnedwasthatJenningsdidnotgiveuppayingpupils。

Shehadnotconfidenceenoughinthisdiscoverytoputittothetest。Shedidnotdaredisobeyhimorshirk——

evenwhenshewasmostdisposedtodoso。Butgraduallysheceasedfromthatintenseapplicationshehadatfirstbroughttoherwork。Shekeptuptheforms。

Shelearnedherlessons。Shedidallthatwasasked。

Sheseemedtobetoilingasinthebeginning。Inreality，shebecamebythemiddleofspringamerelesson-taker。

Herinterestinclothesandingoingaboutrevived。ShesawinthenewspapersthatGeneralSiddallhadtakenapartyoffriendsonayachtingtriparoundtheworld，soshefeltthatshewasnolongerbeingsearchedfor，atleastnotvigorously。Shebecameacquaintedwithsmart，richWestSidewomen，takinglessonsatJennings’s。Sheamusedherselfgoingaboutwiththemandwiththe``musical’’mentheyattracted——amateurandsemi-professionalsingersandplayersuponinstruments。

ShedrewMrs。Brindleyintotheirsociety。TheyhadlittlepartiesattheflatinFifty-ninthStreet——themostdelightfullittlepartiesimaginable——dinnersandsuppers，music，cleverconversations，flirtationsofaharmlessbutfascinatingkind。IfanyonehadaccusedMildredofneglectingherwork，offorgettinghercareer，shewouldhavegrownindignant，andifMrs。Brindleyhadoverheard，shewouldhavebeenindignantforher。

Mildredworkedasmuchasever。Shewasmakingexcellentprogress。Shewasdoingallthatcouldbedone。

Ittakestimetodevelopavoice，tomakeanopera-singer。

Forcingisdangerous，whenitisnotdownrightuseless。

InMay——towardtheendofthemonth——StanleyBairdreturned。Mildred，whohappenedtobeinunusuallygoodvoicethatday，sangforhimattheJenningsstudio，andhewasenchanted。AsthelastnotediedawayhecriedouttoJennings：

``She’sawonder，isn’tshe？’’

Jenningsnodded。``She’sgotavoice，’’saidhe。

``Sheoughttogoonnextyear。’’

``Notquitethat，’’saidJennings。``Wewanttogetthatupperregisterrightfirst。Andit’sayoungvoice——she’sveryyoungforherage。Wemustbecarefulnottostrainit。’’

``Why，what’savoiceforifnottosingwith？’’saidStanley。

``Afinevoiceisaverydelicateinstrument，’’repliedtheteacher。Headdedcoldly，``Youmustletmejudgeastowhatshallbedone。’’

``Certainly，certainly，’’saidStanleyinhaste。

``She’shadseveralcoldsthiswinterandspring，’’

pursuedJennings。``Thosethingsaredangerousuntilthevoicehasitsfullgrowth。Sheshouldhavetwomonths’completerest。’’

Jenningswasgoingawayforatwomonths’vacation。

Hewasgivingthisadvicetoallhispupils。

``You’reright，’’saidBaird。``Didyouhear，Mildred？’’

``ButIhatetostopwork，’’objectedMildred。``I

wanttobedoingsomething。I’mveryimpatientofthislongwait。’’

Andhonestshewasinthisprotest。Shehadnoideaofthestateofherownmind。Shefanciedshewasstillaseageraseverforthecareer，asintenselyinterestedaseverinherwork。Shedidnotdreamoftherealmeaningofhercontentwithhervoiceasitwas，ofherlackofuneasinessovertheappallingfactthatsuchvoiceasshehadwasunreliable，cameandwentfornoapparentreason。

``Absoluterestfortwomonths，’’declaredJenningsgrimly。``NotanoteuntilIreturninAugust。’’

Mildredgavearesignedsigh。

Thereismuchinveighingagainsthypocrisy，aviceunsightlyratherthandesperatelywicked。Andintheexcitementaboutititsdangerous，evendeadlynearkinsman，self-deception，escapesunassailed。Sevencardinalsins。butwhatoftheeighth？——theparentofalltheothers，theonebesidewhichthechildrenseemalmostwhite？

DuringthefirstfewweeksMildredhadbeencarefulaboutspendingmoney。Economyshedidnotunderstand。

howcouldshe，whenshehadneverhadalessoninitoravaluablehintaboutit？Soeconomywasimpossible。Theonlywayinwhichsuchpeoplecankeeporderintheirfinancesisbynotspendinganymoneyatall。Mildreddrewnothing，spentnothing。

This，solongasshegaveherwholemindtoherwork。

Butafterthefirstgreatcold，sodepressing，sosubtlyundermining，shebegantogoabout，tothinkof，toneedandtobuyclothes，tospendmoneyinadozennecessaryways。Afterall，shewassimplyborrowingthemoney。Presently，shewouldbemakingacareer，wouldbeearninglargesums。Shewouldpaybackeverything，withinterest。Stanleymeantforhertousethemoney。Really，sheoughttouseit。Howwouldhercareerbehelpedbyhergoingaboutlookingadowdandafrump？Shehadalwaysbeenusedtothecomfortsoflife。Ifshedeprivedherselfofthem，shewouldsurelygetintoaframeofmindwhereherworkwouldsuffer。No，shemustleadthenormallifeofawomanofherclass。Toworkallthetime——why，asJenningssaid，thattookawayallthefreshness，madeonestaleandunfit。Alittledistraction——always，ofcourse，withmusicalpeople，peoplewhotalkedandthoughtanddidmusic——thatsortofdistractionwasquiteasmuchapartofhereducationasthesinginglessons。Mrs。Brindley，certainlyasensibleandseriouswomanifevertherewasone——Mrs。Brindleybelievedso，anditmustbeso。

Afterthatillnessandbeforeshebegantogoabout，shehadfallenintoseveralfitsofhideousblues，hadbeenindespairastothefuture。Assoonasshesawsomethingofpeople——alwaysthevaluable，musicalsortofpeople——herspiritsimproved。Andwhenshegotafewnewdresses——verysimpleandinexpensive，butstylishandcharming——andthehats，too，weresuccessful——

assoonasshewasfreshlyarrayedshewassingingbetterandwastalkinghopefullyofthecareeragain。Yes，itwasreallynecessarythatsheliveasshehadalwaysbeenusedtoliving。

WhenStanleycamebackheraccountwasdrawnuptothelastcentoftheproportionateamount。Infact，itmighthavebeenafewdollars——ahundredorso——

overdrawn。Shewasnotsure。Still，thatwasasmallmatter。Duringthesummershewouldspendless，andbyfallshewouldbefaraheadagain——andreadytobuyfallclothes。Onedayhesaid：

``Youmustbeneedingmoremoney。’’

``Noindeed，’’criedshe。``I’vebeenlivingwithinthehundredaweek——ornearly。I’mafraidI’mfrightfullyextravagant，and——’’

``Extravagant？’’laughedhe。``Youareafraidtoborrow！Why，threeorfournightsofsingingwillpaybackallyou’veborrowed。’’

``IsupposeIWILLmakealotofmoney，’’saidshe。

``Theyalltellmeso。Butitdoesn’tseemrealtome。’’

Shehastilyadded：``Idon’tmeanthecareer。Thatseemsrealenough。Icanhardlywaittobeginattheroles。Imeanthemoneypart。Yousee，Ineverearnedanymoneyandneverreallyhadanymoneyofmyown。’’

``Well，you’llhaveplentyofitintwoorthreeyears，’’

saidStanley，confidently。``Andyoumustn’ttrytolivelikegirlswho’vebeenbroughtuptohardship。Itisn’tnecessary，anditwouldonlyunfityouforyourwork。’’

``Ithinkthat’strue，’’saidshe。``ButI’veenough——

morethanenough。’’Shegavehimanervous，shy，almostagonizedlook。``Pleasedon’ttrytoputmeunderanyheavierobligationsthanIhavetobe。’’

``Pleasedon’ttalknonsenseaboutobligation，’’

retortedhe。``Let’sgetawayfromthissubject。Youdon’tseemtorealizethatyou’redoingmeafavor，thatit’saprivilegetobeallowedtohelpdevelopsuchamarvelousvoiceasyours。Scoresofpeoplewouldjumpatthechance。’’

``Thatdoesn’tlessenmyobligation，’’saidshe。Andshethoughtshemeantit，though，infact，hisgenerousandplausiblestatementofthecasehadimmediatelylessenednotalittlehersenseofobligation。

Onthewhole，however，shewasnotsorryshehadthischancetotalkofobligation。Slowly，astheysaweachotherfromtimetotime，oftenalone，Stanleyhadbegun——perhapsinspiteofhimselfandunconsciously——toshowhisfeelingforher。Sometimeshishandaccidentallytouchedhers，andhedidnotdrawitawayasquicklyashemight。Andshe——itwasimpossibleforhertomakeanygesture，muchlesssayanything，thatsuggestedsensitivenessonherpart。Itwouldputhiminanawkwardposition，wouldhumiliatehimmostunjustly。Hefellintothehabitofholdingherhandlongerthanwasnecessaryatgreetingorparting，oftouchinghercaressingly，oflookingatherwiththeeyesofaloverinsteadofafriend。Shedidnotlikethesethings。Forsomemysteriousreason——fromsheerperversity，shethought——shehadtakenastrongphysicaldisliketohim。Perfectlyabsurd，fortherewasnothingintrinsicallyrepellentaboutthishandsome，clean，mostattractivelydressedman，ofthebesttypeofAmericanandNew-Yorker。No，onlyperversitycouldexplainsuchasillynotion。Shewasalwaysafraidhewouldtrytotakeadvantageofherdelicateposition——alwaysafraidshewouldhavetoyieldsomething，sometrifle。yettheideaofgivinganythingfromasenseofobligationwasgallingtoher。Hisveryrefrainingmadehermorenervous，themoreshrinking。

Ifhewouldonlycommitsomeovertact——seizeher，kissher，makeoutrageousdemands——butthisrefrain-

ing，thesetouchesthatmightbeaccidentalandagainmightbestealthyapproach——Shehatedtohavehimshakehandswithher，wouldhavelikedtodrawawaywhenhisclothingchancedtobrushagainsthers。

Soshewasgladofthetalkaboutobligation。Itsethimatadistance，immediately。Heceasedtolooklovingly，toindulgeinthenerve-raspinglittlecaresses。

Hebecamecarefullyformal。Hewasevidentlyeagertoprovethesincerityofhisprotestations——tooeagerperhaps，herperversemindsuggested。Still，sincereornot，heheldtoalltheformsofsincerity。

SomefriendsofMrs。Brindley’swhoweregoingabroadofferedhertheircottageontheNewJerseycoastnearSeabright，andabignewtouring-carandchauffeur。SheandMildredatoncegaveuptheplanforasummerintheAdirondacks，themorereadilyasseveralofthemenandwomentheysawthemostoflivedwithineasydistanceofthematDealBeachandElberon。WhenMildredwentshoppingshewasluredintobuyingalotofsummerthingsshewouldnothaveneededintheAdirondacks——amerematteroftwohundredandfiftydollarsorthereabouts。Alittleadditionaleconomyinthefallwouldsoonmakeupforsuchatrifle，andifthereisonetimemorethananotherwhenawomanwishestolookwellandmustlookwell，thattimeissummer——especiallybythesea。

WhenhermonthlystatementfromthebankcameonthefirstofJulyshefoundthatfivethousanddollarshadbeendepositedtohercredit。Shewasmovedbythisdiscoverytodevoteseveralhours——verydepressedhourstheywere——toherfinances。Shehadspentagreatdealmoremoneythanshehadthought。indeed，sinceMarchshehadbeenlivingattherateoffifteenthousandayear。Shetriedtoaccountforthisamazingextravagance。Butshecouldrecallnoexpenditurethatwasnotreallyalmost，ifnotquite，necessary。IttookafrightfullotofmoneytoliveinNewYork。

HowDIDpeoplewithsmallincomesmanagetogetalong？

WhateverwouldhavebecomeofherifshehadnothadthegoodlucktobeabletoborrowfromStanley？Whatwouldbecomeofherif，beforeshewassucceedingonthestage，Stanleyshoulddieorlosefaithinherorinterestinher？Whatwouldbecomeofher！Shehadbeenlivingtheselastfewmonthsamongpeoplewhohadwide-openeyesandkneweverythingthatwasgoingon——anddidsome``going-on’’themselves，asshewasnowmorethansuspecting。Thereweremanywomen，thousandsofthem——amongtheattractive，costilydressedthrongsshesawinthecarriagesandautosandcabs——whowouldnotliketohaveitpublishedhowtheycontrivedtolivesoluxuriously。No，theywouldnotliketohaveitpublished，thoughtheycarednotafigforitsbeingwhispered。NewYorktoothoroughlyunderstoodhownecessaryluxuriouslivingwas，andwastoocompletelydivestedofthefolliesoftheold-fashioned，straight-lacedmorality，tomindlittleshabbydetailsofqueerconductinstrivingtokeepupwiththeprocession。Eventhemarriedwomen，usingtheirhusbands——andlettingtheirhusbandsusethem——didnotfrownontheirregularitiesoftheirsisterslessfortunatelymarriedornotabletofindapermanent``legtopull。’’Asforthegirls——Mildredhadobservedstrangethingsinthelivesofthegirlssheknewmoreorlesswellnowadays。Infact，allthewomen，ofallclassesandconditions，wereengagedinthesamemadstruggletogetholdofmoneytospenduponfunandfinery——astrugglematchinginrecklessnessandresolutenessthestruggleofthemendown-townformoneyforthesamepurposes。Itwascurious，thisdoublemaniaofthemenandthewomen——themaniatogetmoney，nomatterhow。theinstantlysucceedingmaniatogetridofit，nomatterhow。Lookingabouther，Mildredfeltthatshewaspeculiarandapartfromnearlyallthewomensheknew。SHEgothermoneyhonorably。

SHEdidnotdegradeherself，didnotsellherself，didnotwheedleorcajoleorpretendintheleastdegree。ShehadgrownmoreliberalasheroutlookonlifehadwidenedwithcontactwiththeNewYorkmind——no，withthemindofthewholeeasy-going，luxury-mad，morality-scorningmodernworld。Shestillkeptherstandardforherselfhigh，andbelievedinapurityforherselfwhichshedidnotexactorexpectinherfriends。

InthisrespectsheandCyrillaBrindleyweresympatheticallyalike。No，Mildredwasconfidentthatinnocircumstances，inNOcircumstances，wouldsherelaxherideasofwhatshepersonallycoulddoandcouldnotdo。

Notthatsheblamed，orjudgedatall，womenwhodidasshewouldnot。butshecouldnot，simplycouldnot，howeverhardshemightbedriven，dothosethings——

thoughshecouldeasilyunderstandhowotherwomendidtheminpreferencetosinkingdownintotheworkingclassorekingoutafrowsyexistenceinsomepoorboarding-house。Thetemptationwouldbegreat。

ThankHeaven，itwasnotteasingher。Shewouldresistit，ofcourse。But——

WhatifStanleyBairdshouldloseinterest？Whatif，afterhelostinterest，sheshouldfindherselfwithoutmoney，worseofthanshehadbeenwhenshesoldherselfintoslavery——highlymoralandconventionallycorrectslavery，butstillslavery——tothelittlegeneralwiththepeakedpink-silknightcaphidingtheabsenceoftheremovedtoupee——andwiththewonderfulpink-silkpajamas，gorgeouslymonogramedinviolet——

andthetinyfeetanduglyhands——andthoseloathsomeneedle-pointedmustachesandthehideoushabitofmumblinghistongueandsmackinghislips？Whatif，moneyless，sheshouldnotbeabletofindanotherStanleyoramanoftheclassgentlemanwillingtohelphergenerouslyevenonANYterms？Whatthen？

Shewaslookingoutoverthesea，herbank-bookandstatementsandcanceledchecksinherlap。Theircottagewasattheveryedgeofthestrand。itsverandawasoftendampfromsprayafterastorm。Itwasnotstormingasshesatthere，``takingstock’’。underablueskyanalmosttranquilseawascrooningsoftlyinthesunlight，innocentandhappyandplayfulasachild。

She，dressedinacharmingnegligeeandlookingforwardtoamerrydayintheauto，withlunchanddinneratattractive，luxuriousplacesfartherdownthecoast——

shewasstrickenwithahorriblesadness，withaterrorthatmadeherheartbeatwildly。

``Imustbecrazy！’’shesaid，halfaloud。``I’veneverearnedadollarwithmyvoice。Andfortwomonthsithasbeenunreliable。I’mactinglikeacrazyperson。WhatWILLbecomeofme？’’

JustthenStanleyBairdcamethroughtheprettylittlehouse，seekingher。``Thereyouare！’’hecried。``Dogogetdressed。’’

Hastilysheflungascarfoverthebookandpapersinherlap。Shehadintendedtospeaktohimaboutthatfreshdepositoffivethousanddollars——torefuseit，torebukehim。Nowshedidnotdare。

``What’sthematter？’’hewenton。``Headache？’’

``Itwasthewineatdinnerlastnight，’’explainedshe。

``Ioughtnevertotouchredwine。Itdisagreeswithmehorribly。’’

``Thatwasfilthystuff，’’saidhe。``Youmusttakesomechampagneatlunch。That’llsetyouright。’’

Shestealthilywoundthescarfaboutthepapers。

Whenshefeltthatallweresecuresherose。Shewaslookingsweetandsadandpeculiarlybeautiful。Therewasanexquisitesheenonherskin。Shehadwashedherhairthatmorning，anditwasstrayingfascinatinglyaboutherbrowandearsandneck。Bairdlookedather，loweredhiseyesandcolored。

``I’llnotbelong，’’shesaidhurriedly。

Shehadtopasshimintherathernarrowdoorway。

Fromhergarmentsshookadeliciousperfume。Hecaughtherinhisarms。Thebloodhadflushedintohisfaceinatorrent，swellingouttheveins，givinghimadistortedandwildexpression。

``Mildred！’’hecried。``Saythatyoulovemealittle！I’msolonelyforyou——sohungryforyou！’’

Shegrewcoldwithfearandwithrepulsion。Sheneitheryieldedtohisembracenorshookitoff。Shesimplystood，herroundsmoothbodyhardthoughcorsetless。

Hekissedheronthethroat，kissedthelaceoverherbosom，cryingoutinarticulately。Inthefrenzyofhispassionhedidnotforawhilerealizeherlackofresponse。Ashefeltit，hisarmsrelaxed，droppedawayfromher，fellathisside。Hehunghishead。Hewasbreathingsoheavilythatsheglancedintothehouseapprehensively，fearingsomeoneelsemighthear。

``Ibegpardon，’’hemuttered。``Youweretoomuchformethismorning。Itwasyourfault。Youaremaddening！’’

Shemovedonintothehouse。

``Waitaminute！’’hecalledafterher。

Shehalted，hesitating。

``Comeback，’’hesaid。``I’vegotsomethingtosaytoyou。’’

Sheturnedandwentbacktotheveranda，heretreatingbeforeherandhiseyessinkingbeforethecold，clearblueofhers。

``You’regoingup，nottocomedownagain，’’hesaid。

``YouthinkI’veinsultedyou——thinkI’veactedoutrageously。’’

Howgladshewasthathehadsomisreadherthoughts——hadnotdiscoveredthefear，theweakness，thesuddencollapseofallherboastedconfidenceinherstrengthofcharacter。

``You’llneverfeelthesametowardmeagain，’’hewentfatuouslyon。``YouthinkI’mafraud。Well，I’lladmitthatIaminlovewithyou——havebeeneversincethesteamer——alwayswascrazyaboutthatmouthofyours——andyourfigure，andthesoundofyourvoice。I’lladmitI’manutterfoolaboutyou——respectyouandtrustyouasIneverusedtothinkanywomandeservedtoberespectedandtrusted。I’llevenadmitthatI’vebeenhoping——allsortsofthings。Iknewawomanlikeyouwouldn’tletamanhelpherunlessshelovedhim。’’

Atthisherheartbeatwildlyandablushofshamepouredoverherfaceandneck。Hedidnotsee。Hehadnotthecouragetolookather——tofacethatexpressionoftheviolatedgoddesshefeltconfidentherfacewaswearing。Inlove，hereasonedandfeltaboutherlikeaninexperiencedboy，allhisexperiencegoingfornothing。Hewenton：

``Iunderstandwecanneverbeanythingtoeachotheruntilyou’reonthestageandarrived。I’dnothaveitotherwise，ifIcould。ForIwantYOU，andI’dneverbelieveIhadyouunlessyouwerefree。’’

Thecolorwasfadingfromhercheeks。Atthisitflusheddeeperthanbefore。Shemustspeak。Nottospeakwastolie，wastoplaythehypocrite。Yetspeakshedarednot。AtleastStanleyBairdwasbetterthanSiddall。Anyhow，whowasshe，thathadbeenthewifeofSiddall，tobesofinicky？

``Youdon’tbelieveme？’’hesaidmiserably。``YouthinkI’llforgetmyselfsometimeagain？’’

``Ihopenot，’’shesaidgently。``Ibelievenot。I

trustyou，Stanley。’’

Andshewentintothehouse。Helookedafterher，inadmirationofthesweetandpurecalmofthisquietrebuke。Shetriedtotakethesameexaltedviewofitherself，butshecouldnotfoolherselfjustthenwiththefamiliar``goodwoman’’fake。Sheknewthatshehadstrucktheflagofself-respect。Sheknewwhatshewouldreallyhavedonehadhebeenlessdelicate，lessinlove，andmore``practical。’’Andshefoundasmallandpoorconsolationinreflecting，``Iwonderhowmanywomentherearewhotakehighgroundbecauseitcostsnothing。’’Wearepronetosuspecteverybodyofanyweaknesswefindinourselves——andperhapswearenotsofarwrongasarethosewhoacceptwithoutquestionthenoisyprotestationsofaworldofself-deceivers。

ThenceforthsheandStanleygotonbetterthanever——apparently。Butthoughsheignoredit，sheknewthetruth——knewhernewanddeepcontentwasduetohernothavingchallengedhisassertionthatshelovedhim。He，believingherhonestandhighminded，assumedthatthefailuretochallengewasagoodwoman’swayofadmitting。Butwiththedayofreckoning——

notonlywithhimbutalsowithherownself-

respect——putoffuntilthatvagueandremotetimewhensheshouldbeasuccessfulprimadonna，shegaveherselfuptoenjoyment。Thatwasasummerofrarelyfineweather，particularlyfinealongtheJerseycoast。They——alwaysingayparties——motoredupanddownthecoastandinland。Severalofthe``musical’’men——

notablyRichardsonofElberon——hadplentyofmoney。

Stanley，stoppingwithhiscousins，theFrasers，ontheRumsonRoad，broughtseveralofhisfriends，allrichandmoreorlessfree。AseverymomentofMildred’sdaywasfullandasitwasimpossiblenottosleepandsleepwellinthatoceanair，withthesurfsoothingthenervesasthelullabyofanursesoothesababy，shewasabletoputeverythingunpleasantoutofmind。Shewasrestinghervoice，wasbuildingupherhealth。

thereforethecareerwasbeingsteadilyadvancedandnotimewasbeingwasted。Shefeltsorryforthosewhohadtodounpleasantordisagreeablethingsinmakingtheircareers。Shetoldherselfthatshedidnotdeservehergoodfortuneinbeingabletoadvancetoabrilliantcareernotthroughhardshipbutoverthemostdelightfulroadimaginable——amusingherself，wearingcharmingandsatisfactoryclothes，swimminganddancing，motoringandfeasting。Withoutrealizingit，shewasstronglyunderthedelusionthatshewasherselfalreadyrich——theinevitabledelusionwithawomanwhenshemoveseasilyandfreelyandluxuriouslyabout，neverbotheredformoney，alwaysinthecompanyofrichpeople。Thericharefatedtodemoralizethosearoundthem。Thestingyrichfilltheirsatelliteswithenvyandhatred。Thegenerousrichfillthemwiththefeelingthatthelightbywhichtheyshineandtheheatwithwhichtheyarewarmarenotreflectedlightandheatbuttheirown。

Neverhadshebeensohappy。SheevendidnotespeciallymindDonaldKeith，afriendofStanley’sandofMrs。Brindley’s，who，muchtoooftentosuither，madeoneoftheparty。ShehadtriedinvaintodiscoverwhattherewasinKeiththatinspiredsuchintenselikingintwopeoplesowidelydifferentasexpansiveandemotionalStanleyBairdandreservedanddistinctlycoldCyrillaBrindley。Keithtalkedlittle，notonlyseemednottolistenwell，butshowedplainly，evenintete-a-teteconversations，thathisthoughtshadbeenelsewhere。

Hemadenopretenseofbeingotherthanhewas——anindifferentmanwhocamebecauseitdidnotespeciallymattertohimwherehewas。SometimeshissilenceandhisindifferenceannoyedMildred。again——thankstoherprofoundandrecklesscontentment——shewasabletoforgetthathewasalong。Heseemedtobeandprobablywasaboutfortyyearsold。Hisheadwasbeautifullyshaped，thelineofitsprofile——front，top，andback——beingperfectinintellectuality，strengthandsymmetry。Hewasratherunderthemediumheight，aboutthesameheightasMildredherself。Hewasextremelythinandlooselybuilt，andhisclothesseemedtohangawry，givinghimanairofslovenlinesswhichbecamesurprisingwhenonenotedhowscrupulouslyneatandcleanhewas。Hisbrownhair，considerablytingedwithrustygray，grewthinlyuponthatbeautifulhead。Hisskinwasdryandsmoothanddeadwhite。

This，takenwiththeclassicregularityofhisfeatures，gavehimanairoflifelessness，ofoneburntoutbythefireoftoomuchliving。butwhetherthelivinghadbeendonebyKeithhimselforbyhisimmediateancestorsappearancesdidnotdisclose。Thislookofpassionless，motionlessrepose，likeclassicsculpture，wassharplyandstartlinglybeliedbyapairofreallywonderfuleyes——

deeplyandintenselyblue，brilliant，allseeing，allcomprehending，eyesthatseemednevertosleep，seemedtheceaselesslyindustriousservantsofabrainthatbusieditselfwithoutpause。Thecontrastbetweenthedeadwhitecalmofhisface，thelistlessnessofhisrelaxedfigure，andthesevivideyes，sointenselyalive，gavetoDonaldKeith’spersonalityanuncanninessthatwasmostdisagreeabletoMildred。

``That’swhatfascinatesme，’’saidCyrilla，whentheywerediscussinghimoneday。

``Fascinates！’’exclaimedMildred。``He’stiresome——

whenheisn’trude。’’

``Rude？’’

``Notactivelyrudebut，worsestill，passivelyrude。’’

``HeistheonlymanI’veeverseenwithwhomIcouldimaginemyselffallinginlove，’’saidMrs。Brindley。

Mildredlaughedinderision。``Why，he’sadeadman！’’criedshe。

``Youdon’tunderstand，’’saidCyrilla。``You’veneverlivedwithaman。’’Sheforgotcompletely，asdidMildredherself，socompletelyhadMrs。Siddallreturnedtothemodesandthoughtsofagirl。``Athome——tolivewith——youwantonlyreposefulthings。ThatiswhytheGreeks，whoseinstinctswereunerring，hadsomuchreposefulstatuary。Onegrowswearyofagitatingobjects。Theysoonseemhystericalandshallow。

Thesamething’strueofpersons。Forpermanentloveandfriendshipyouwantreposefulmen——

calm，strong，silent。Theotherkindeitherwearyououtorwearthemselvesoutwithyou。’’

``Youforgethiseyes，’’putinStanley。``Didyoueverseesucheyes！’’

``Yes，thoseeyesofhis！’’criedMildred。``Youcertainlycan’tcallthemreposeful，Mrs。Brindley。’’

Mrs。Brindleydidnotseizetheopportunitytoconvictherofinconsistency。Saidshe：

``Iadmittheeyes。They’retheeyesofthekindofmanawomanwants，oranothermanwantsinhisfriend。

WhenKeithlooksatyou，youfeelthatyouareseeingtherarestbeingintheworld——anabsolutelyreliableperson。WhenIthinkofhimIthinkofreliable，justaswhenyouthinkofthesunyouthinkofbrightness。’’

``Ihadnoideaitwassoseriousasthis，’’teasedStanley。

``NorhadI，’’returnedCyrillaeasily，``untilIbegantotalkabouthim。Don’ttellhim，Mr。Baird，orhemighttakeadvantageofme。’’

TheideaamusedStanley。``Hedoesn’tcarearapaboutwomen，’’saidhe。``Ihearhehasletafewcareabouthimfromtimetotime，buthesoonceasedtobegood-natured。Hehatestobebored。’’

Ashecamejustthen，theyhadtofindanothersubject。Mildredobservedhimwithmoreinterest。ShehadlearnedtohaverespectforMrs。Brindley’sjudgments。Butshesoongaveoverwatchinghim。Thatprofoundcalm，thoseeyesconcentratingallthelifeofthemanlikeaburningglass——Shehadadisagreeablesenseofbeingseenthrough，eventohersecretestthought，ofbeingunderstoodandmeasuredandweighed——andfoundwanting。Itoccurredtoherforthefirsttimethatpartofthereasonforhernotlikinghimwasthebestofreasons——thathedidnotlikeher。

Thefirsttimeshewasleftalonewithhim，afterthisdiscovery，shehappenedtobeinanaudaciousandtalkativemood，andhislackofresponsefinallygoadedherintosaying：``WHYdon’tyoulikeme？’’Shecarednothingaboutit。shesimplywishedtohearwhathewouldsay——ifhecouldberousedintosayinganything。

Hewassittingonthestepsleadingfromtheverandatothesea——wassmokingacigaretteandgazingoutoverthewaveslikeagravenimage，asifhehadalwaysbeenposedthereandalwayswouldbethere，theembodimentofreposegazinginineffableindifferenceupontheembodimentofitsopposite。Hemadenoanswer。

``Iaskedyouwhyyoudonotlikeme，’’saidshe。

``Didyouhear？’’

``Yes，’’repliedhe。

Shewaited。nothingfurtherfromhim。Saidshe：

``Well，givemeoneofyourcigarettes。’’

Herose，extendedhiscase，thenalight。Hewasneverremissinthosekindsofpoliteness。Whenshewassmoking，heseatedhimselfagainanddroppedintotheformerattitude。Sheeyedhim，wonderinghowitcouldbepossiblethathehadenduredtheincrediblefatiguesandhardshipsStanleyBairdhadrelatedofhim——huntingandexploringexpeditionsintotropicsandintofrozenregions，mountainclimbs，wildseavoyagesinsmallboats，allwithnosignofbeingabletostandanything，yetalsowithnosignofbeinganymoredisturbedthannowinthisseasidelaziness。Stanleyhadshowedthemapictureofhimtakentwentyyearsandmoreagowhenhewasincollege。hehadlookedalmostthesamethen——perhapsalittleolder。

``Well，Iamwaiting，’’persistedshe。

Shethoughthewasabouttolookather——athinghehadneverdone，toherknowledge，sincetheyhadknowneachother。Shenervedherselftoreceivetheshock，withacertainflutterofexpectancy，ofexcitementeven。Butinsteadoflooking，hesettledhimselfinaslightlydifferentpositionandfixedhisgazeuponanotherpointinthehorizon。Shenotedthathehadsplendidhands——idealhandsforaman，withthesamesuggestionofintensevitalityandalivenessthatflashedfromhiseyes。Shehadnotnotedthisbefore。Nextshesawthathehadgoodfeet，andthathisbootswerehisonlyarticleofapparelthatfittedhim，orrather，thatlookedasifmadeforhim。

Shetossedhercigaretteovertherailtothesand。

Hestartledherbyspeaking，inhisunemotionalway。

Hesaid：

``Now，Ilikeyoubetter。’’

``Idon’tunderstand，’’saidshe。

Noanswerfromhim。Thecigarettedependinglistlesslyfromhislipsseemed——asusual——uncertainwhetheritwouldstayorfall。Shewatchedthisuncertaintywithacurious，nervousinterest。Shewasalwaysthinkingthatcigarettewouldfall，butitneverdid。

Saidshe：

``Whydidyousayyoulikedmeless？’’

``Better，’’correctedhe。

``Weusedtohaveapumpinourbackyardathome，’’

laughedshe。``Onetoiledawayatthehandle，butnothingevercame。Anditwasapromising-lookingpump，too。’’

Hesmiled——aslow，reluctantsmile，butundeniablyattractive。Saidhe：

``Becauseyouthrewawayyourcigarette。’’

``Youobjecttowomensmoking？’’

``No，’’saidhe。Histonemadeherfeelhowabsurditwastosuspecthimofsuchprovincialism。

``YouobjecttoMYsmoking？’’suggestedshe。

laughing，``Pump！Pump！’’

``No，’’saidhe。

``Thenyourremarkmeantnothingatall？’’

Hewassilent。

``Youarerude，’’saidshecoldly，risingtogointothehouse。

Hesaidsomething，whatshedidnothear，inheragitation。Shepausedandinquired：

``Whatdidyousay？’’

``Isaid，Iamnotrudebutkind，’’repliedhe。

``Thatisdetestable！’’criedshe。``Ihavenotlikedyou，butIhavebeenpolitetoyoubecauseofStanleyandMrs。Brindley。Whyshouldyoubeinsultingtome？’’

``WhathaveIdone？’’inquiredhe，unmoved。Hehadrisenassherose，butinsteadoffacingherhewasleaningagainstthepostoftheveranda，bentuponhisseawardvigil。

``Youhaveinsinuatedthatyourreasonsfornotlikingmewereareflectiononme。’’

``Youinsisted，’’saidhe。

``Youmeanthattheyare？’’demandedshefuriously。

Shewasamazedatherwild，unaccountablerage。

Heslowlyturnedhisheadandlookedather——aglancewithoutanyemotionwhatever，simplyalookthat，likethebeamofapowerfulsearchlight，seemedtothrustthroughfoganddarknessandtolightupeverythinginitspath。Saidhe：

``DoyouwishmetotellyouwhyIdon’tlikeyou？’’

``No！’’shecriedhysterically。``Nevermind——I

don’tknowwhatI’msaying。’’Andshewenthastilyintothehouse。Amomentlater，inherownroomupstairs，shewaswonderingatherself。Whyhadshebecomeconfused？Whatdidhemean？Whathadsheseen——orhalfseen——inthedarknessandfogwithinherselfwhenhelookedather？Inapassionshecried：

``Ifhewouldonlystayaway！’’

VI

BUThedidnotstayaway。HeownedandlivedinasmallhouseupontheRumsonRoad。Whilethehousewaslittlemorethanabungalowandhadasimplicitythatcompletelyhiditsraregoodtastefromtheaverageobserver，itsgroundswerethemostspaciousinthatneighborhoodofcostly，showyhousessetingroundsnotmuchmoreextensivethanacitybuildinglot。Thegroundshadbeenclearedanddrainedtodriveoutandtokeepouttheobnoxiousinsectlife，buthadbeenleftaforest，concealingthehousefromtheroads。StanleyBairdwasnowstoppingwithKeith，andbroughthimalongtothecottagebytheseaeveryday。

Thepartiesnarrowedtothesamefourpersons。Mrs。

BrindleyseemednevertotireoftalkingtoKeith——

ortotireoftalkingabouthimwhenthetwomenhadleft，lateeachnight。AsforStanley，hereferredeverythingtoKeith——theweatherprospects，wheretheyshouldgofortheday，whatshouldbeeatenanddrunk，anypointaboutpoliticsorfashion，lifeorliteratureorwhatnot，thathappenedtobediscussed。AndhelookeduponDonald’smonosyllabicreplytohisinquiryasafinaljudgment，endingallpossibilityofargument。

Mildredheldoutlong。Then，inspiteofherself，shebegantoyield，ceasedtodislikehim，foundakindofpleasure——or，perhaps，fascinatedinterest——inthenervousnesshissilentandindifferentpresencecausedher。Shelikedtowatchthatimmobile，perfectprofile，neitheryoungnorold，indeednotsuggestingageinanydegree，butonlyexperienceandknowledge——andaninfinitecapacityforemotion，forpassioneven。Thedead-whitecolordeclaredithadalreadybeenlived。

thebrilliant，usuallyavertedorveiledeyesassertedpresentvitality，pulsingunderacalmsurface。

OnedaywhenStanley，inthemannerofonewhowishesathingsettledandsettledright，saidhewouldaskDonaldKeithaboutit，Mildred，alittlepiqued，alittleamused，retorted：

``Andwhatwillheanswer？Why，simplyyesorno。’’

``That’sall，’’assentedStanley。``Andthat’squiteenough，isn’tit？’’

``Buthowdoyouknowhe’saswiseashepretends？’’

``Hedoesn’tpretendtobeanythingortoknowanything。That’spreciselyit。’’

MildredsuddenlybegantolikeKeith。Shehadneverthoughtofthisbefore。Yes，itwastrue，hedidnotpretend。Notintheleast，notaboutanything。Whenyousawhim，yousawatoncetheworsttherewastosee。Itwasafterwardthatyoudiscoveredhewasnotslovenly，butcleanandneat，notbadlybutwelldressed，nothomelybuthandsome，notsicklybutsoundlywell，notphysicallyweakbutstrong，notdullbutvividlyalive，notatiresomevoidbutanunfathomablemystery。

``Whatdoeshedo？’’sheaskedMrs。Brindley。

Cyrilla’susuallypositivegrayeyeslookedvague。

Shesmiled。``Ineverasked，’’saidshe。``I’veknownhimnearlythreeyears，anditneveroccurredtometoask，ortowonder。Isn’tthatstrange？Usuallyaboutthefirstinquirywemakeiswhatamandoes。’’

``I’llaskStanley，’’saidMildred。Andshedidaboutanhourlater，whentheywereinthesurftogether，withtheothertwooutofearshot。SaidStanley：

``He’salawyer，ofcourse。Also，he’swrittenanovelortwoandabookofpoems。I’veneverreadthem。

Somehow，Inevergetaroundtoreading。’’

``Oh，he’salawyer？That’sthewayhemakeshisliving。’’

``Aqueerkindoflawyer。Henevergoestocourt，andhisclientsarealmostallotherlawyers。Theygotohimtogethimtotellthemwhattodo，andwhatnottodo。He’sgotabigreputationamonglawyers，FredNormantellsme，butmakescomparativelylittle，asheeithercan’torwon’tchargewhatheought。I

toldhimwhatNormansaid，andheonlysmiledinthatqueerwayhehas。Isaid：`Youmaketwentyorthirtythousandayear。Yououghttomaketentimesthat。’’’

``Andwhatdidheanswer？’’askedMildred。``Nothing？’’

``Hesaid：`ImakeallIwant。IfItookinmore，I’dbebotheredgettingridofitorinvestingit。IcanalwaysmakeallI’llwant——unlessIgocrazy。Andwhatcouldacrazymandowithmoney？Itdoesn’tcostanythingtoliveinalunaticasylum。’’’

Severalitemsofinteresttoaddtothoseshehadcollected。Hecouldtalkbrilliantly，buthepreferredsilence。Hecouldmakehimselfattractivetowomenandtomen，buthepreferredtobedetached。Hecouldbeagreatlawyer，buthepreferredthequietofobscurity。

Hecouldbearichman，buthepreferredtobecomparativelypoor。

SaidMildred：``Isupposesomewoman——somedisappointmentinlove——haskilledambition，andeverythinglikethat。’’

``Idon’tthinkso，’’repliedBaird。``Themenwhoknewhimasaboysayhewasalwaysasheisnow。HelivedintheArabiandesertfortwoyears。’’

``Whydidn’thestay？’’laughedMildred。``Thatlifewouldexactlysuithim。’’

``Itdid，’’saidStanley。``Buthisfatherdied，andhehadtocomehomeandsupporthismother——untilshedied。That’sthewayhiswholelifehasbeen。

Hedriftsinthecurrentofcircumstances。Hemightlethimselfbeblownawayto-morrowtotheotherendoftheearthandstayawayyears——ornevercomeback。’’

``Buthowwouldhelive？’’

``Onhiswits。Andaswelloraspoorlyashecared。

He’sthesortofmaneveryoneinstinctivelyasksadviceof——me，you，hisvalet，thefarmerwhomeetshimataboundaryfence，thefellowwhositsnesthiminatrain——anyone。’’

Mildreddidnotmerelyceasetodislikehim。shewentfarther，andrapidly。Shebegantolikehim，tocircleroundthattantalizing，indolentmysteryasadeeraboutaqueerbitofbrushintheundergrowth。Shelikedtowatchhim。Shewasalternatelyafraidtotalkbeforehimandrecklesslyconfidential——allwithnoresponseorsignofinterestfromhim。Ifshewassilent，whentheywerealonetogether，hewassilent，too。Ifshetalked，stillhewassilent。WhatWAShethinkingabout？

Whatdidhethinkofher？——thatespecially。

``WhatAREyouthinking？’’sheinterruptedherselftosayoneafternoonastheysattogetheronthestrandunderabigsunshade。Shehadbeentalkingonandonabouthercareer——talkingconceitedly，ashersubjectintoxicatedher——tellinghimwhattriumphsawaitedherassoonassheshouldbereadytodebut。Ashedidnotanswer，sherepeatedherquestion，adding：

``Iknewyouweren’tlisteningtome，orIshouldn’thavehadthecouragetosaythefoolishthingsIdid。’’

``No，Iwasn’t，’’admittedhe。

``Whynot？’’

``Forthereasonyougave。’’

``ThatwhatIsaidwas——justtalk？’’

``Yes。’’

``Youdon’tbelieveI’lldothosethings？’’

``Doyou？’’

``I’veGOTtobelieveit，’’saidshe。``IfIdidn’t——’’

Shecametoafullstop。

``Ifyoudidn’t，thenwhat？’’Itwasthefirsttimehehadeverflatteredherwithinterestenoughtoaskheraquestionaboutherself。

``IfIdidn’tbelieveIwasgoingtosucceed——andsucceedbig——’’shebegan。Afterapause，sheadded，``I’dnotdaresayit。’’

``Orthinkit，’’saidhe。

Shecolored。``Whatdoyoumean？’’sheasked。

Hedidnotreply。

``Whatdoyoumean，Mr。Keith？’’sheurged。

``Youarealwaysaskingmequestionstowhichyoualreadyknowtheanswer，’’saidhe。

``You’rereferringtoaweekorsoago，whenIaskedyouwhyyoudislikedme？’’

Noanswer。Nosignofhavingheard。Nooutwardsignofinterestinanything，eveninthecigarettedroopingfromthecornerofhismouth。

``Wasn’tthatit？’’sheinsisted。

``Youarealwaysaskingmequestionstowhichyoualreadyknowtheanswer，’’repeatedhe。

``Iamannoyingyou？’’

Noanswer。

Shelaughed。``Doyouwantmetogoawayandleaveyouinpeacewiththat——lawcase——orwhateveritis？’’

``Idon’tliketobealone。’’

``Butanyonewoulddo？——adog？’’

Noreply。

``Youmean，adogwouldbebetterbecauseitdoesn’taskquestionstowhichitknowstheanswer。’’

Noreply。

``Well，Ihaveapleasant-soundingvoice。AsI’msayingnothing，itmaybesoothing——likethesoundofthewaves。I’velearnedtotakeyouasyouare。I

ratherlikeyourpose。’’

Noreply。Nosignthathewaseventemptedtorisetothisbaitandprotest。

``Butyoudon’tlikemine，’’shewenton。``Yes，itisapose。ButI’vegottokeepitup，andtopretendtomyselfthatitisn’t。Anditisn’taltogether。Ishallbeasuccessfulsinger。’’

``When？’’saidhe。Actuallyhewaslistening！

Sheanswered：``In——abouttwoyears，Ithink。’’

Nocomment。

``Youdon’tbelieveit？’’

``Doyou？’’Apause。``Whyaskthesequestionsyou’vealreadyansweredyourself？’’

``I’lltellyouwhy，’’repliedshe，herfacesuddenlyflushedwithearnestness。``BecauseIwantyoutohelpme。Youhelpeveryoneelse。Whynotme？’’

``Youneveraskedme，’’saidhe。

``Ididn’tknowIwantedituntiljustnow——asI

saidit。ButYOUmusthaveknown，becauseyouaresomuchmoreexperiencedthanI——andunderstandpeople——what’sgoingonintheirminds，deeperthantheycansee。’’Hertonebecameindignant，reproachful。

``Yes，youmusthaveknownIneededyourhelp。

Andyououghttohavehelpedme，evenifyoudiddislikeme。You’venorighttodislikeanyoneasyoungasI。’’

Hewaslookingathernow，theintenselyaliveblueeyessympathetic，penetrating，understanding。Itwasfrightfultobesothoroughlyunderstood——allone’sweaknesseslaidbare——yetitwasareliefandajoy，too——likethecruelhealingknifeofthesurgeon。Saidhe：

``Idonotlikekeptwomen。’’

Shegasped，grewghastly。Itwasafrightfulinsult，oneforwhichshewaswhollyunprepared。``You——

believe——that？’’shesaidslowly。

``Anotherofthosequestions，’’hesaid。Andhelookedcalmlyaway，outoverthesea，asifhisinterestintheconversationwereatanend。

Whatshouldshesay？Howdeny——howconvincehim？Forconvincehimshemust，andthengoawayandneverpermithimtospeaktoheragainuntilhehadapologized。Shesaidquietly：``Mr。Keith，youhaveinsultedme。’’

``Idonotlikekeptwomen，eitherwithorwithoutalicense，’’saidheinthesameeven，indifferentway。

``Whenyouceasedtobeakeptwoman，Iwouldhelpyou，ifIcould。Butnoonecanhelpakeptwoman。’’

Therewasnothingtodobuttoriseandgoaway。

Sheroseandwenttowardthehouse。Attheverandashepaused。Hehadnotmoved。Shereturned。Hewasstillinspectingthehorizon，thecigarettedependingfromhislips——howDIDhekeepitalight？Shesaid：

``Mr。Keith，Iamsureyoudidnotmeantoinsultme。

Whatdidyoumean？’’

``Anotherofthosequestions，’’saidhe。

``Honestly，Idonotunderstand。’’

``Thenthink。Andwhenyouhavethought，youwillunderstand。’’

``ButIhavethought。Idonotunderstand。’’

``Thenitwouldbeuselesstoexplain，’’saidhe。

``Thatisoneofthosevitalthingswhich，ifonecannotunderstandthemforoneself，oneishopeless——isbeyondhelping。’’

``YoumeanIamnotinearnestaboutmycareer？’’

``Anotherofthosequestions。IfyouhadnotseenclearlywhatImeant，youwouldhavebeenreallyoffended。You’dhavegoneawayandnotcomeback。’’

Shesawthatthiswastrue。And，seeing，shewonderedhowshecouldhavebeensostupidasnottohaveseenitatonce。Shehadyettolearnthatoverlookingtheobviousisauniversalhumanfailingandthatseeingtheobviousisthetalentandtheuseofthesuperiorofearth——thefewwhodominateanddeterminetherace。

``Youreproachmefornothavinghelpedyou，’’hewenton。``Howdoesithappenthatyouareuneasyinmind——souneasythatyouarequarrelingatme？’’

Alightbrokeuponher。``Youhavebeendrawingmeon，fromthebeginning，’’shecried。``Youhavebeenhelpingme——makingmeseethatIneededhelp。’’

``No，’’saidhe。``I’vebeenwaitingtoseewhetheryouwouldrousefromyourdreamofgrandeur。’’

``YOUhavebeenrousingme。’’

``No，’’hesaid。``You’verousedyourself。Soyoumaybeworthhelpingor，rather，worthencouraging，fornoonecanHELPyoubutyourself。’’

Shelookedathimpathetically。``ButwhatshallI

do？’’sheasked。``I’vegotnomoney，noexperience，nosense。I’mavain，luxury-lovingfool，cursedwitha——witha——isitaconscience？’’

``Ihopeit’ssomethingmoresubstantial。Ihopeit’scommonsense。’’

``ButIhavebeenworking——honestlyIhave。’’

``Don’tbeginlyingtoyourselfagain。’’

``Don’tbeharshwithme。’’

Hedrewinhislegs，inpreparationforrising——nodoubttogoaway。

``Idon’tmeanthat，’’shecriedtestily。``Youarenotharshwithme。It’sthetruththat’sharsh——thetruthI’mbeginningtosee——andfeel。Iamafraid——

afraid。Ihaven’tthecouragetofaceit。’’

``Whywhine？’’saidhe。``There’snothinginthat。’’

``Doyouthinkthere’sanyhopeforme？’’

``Thatdepends，’’saidhe。

``Onwhat？’’

``Onwhatyouwant。’’

``Iwanttobeasinger，agreatsinger。’’

``No，there’snohope。’’

Shegrewcoldwithdespair。Hehadawayofsayingathingthatgaveitthefullweightofaverdictfromwhichtherewasnoappeal。

``Now，ifyouwantedtomakealiving，’’hewenton，``andifyouweredeterminedtolearntosingaswellasyoucould，withtheideathatyoumightbeabletomakealiving——why，thentheremightbehope。’’

``YouthinkIcansing？’’

``Ineverheardyou。Canyou？’’

``TheysayIcan。’’

``WhatdoYOUsay？’’

``Idon’tknow，’’sheconfessed。``I’veneverbeenabletojudge。SometimesIthinkI’msingingwell，andIfindoutafterwardthatI’vesungbadly。Again，it’stheotherway。’’

``Then，obviously，what’sthefirstthingtodo？’’

``Tolearntojudgemyself，’’saidshe。``Ineverthoughtofitbefore——howimportantthatis。DoyouknowJennings——EugeneJennings？’’

``Thesingingteacher？No。’’

``Isheagoodteacher？’’

``No。’’

``Whynot？’’

``Becausehehasnottaughtyouthatyouwillneversinguntilyouareyourownteacher。Becausehehasnottaughtyouthatsingingisasmallandminorpartofacareerasasinger。’’

``Butitisn’t，’’protestedshe。

Alongsilence。Lookingathim，shefeltthathehaddismissedherandheraffairsfromhismind。

``Isit？’’shesaid，tobringhimback。

``What？’’askedhevaguely。

``Yousaidthatasingerdidn’thavetobeabletosing。’’

``DidI？’’Heglanceddowntheshoretowardthehouse。``Itfeelslikelunch-time。’’Herose。

``Whatdidyoumeanbywhatyousaid？’’

``Whenyouhavethoughtaboutyourcaseawhilelonger，we’lltalkofitagain——ifyouwish。Butuntilyou’vethought，talkingisawasteoftime。’’

Sherose，stoodstaringouttosea。Hewasobservingher，afaintsmileabouthislips。Hesaid：

``Whybotheraboutacareer？Afterall，keptwomanisathoroughlyrespectableoccupation——orcanbemadesobyanypreacherorjusticeofthepeace。

It’sfollowedbymanyofourbestwomen——thosewhopridethemselvesontheirhighcharacters——andontheirpride。’’

``IcouldnotbelongtoamanunlessIcaredforhim，’’

saidshe。``Itrieditonce。Ishallneverdoitagain。’’

``Thatsoundsfine，’’saidhe。``Let’sgotolunch。’’

``Youdon’tbelieveme？’’

``Doyou？’’

Shesankdownuponthesandandburstintoawildpassionofsobsandtears。Whenherfightforself-

controlwasoverandshelookeduptoapologizeforherpitifulexhibitionofweakness——andtonotewhethershehadmadeanimpressionuponhissympathies——shesawhimjustenteringthehouse，aquarterofamileaway。Toangersucceededamoodofdesperateforlornness。Shefelluponherselfwithgloomyferocity。

Shecouldnotsing。Shehadnobrains。Shewastakingmoney——adisgracefullylargeamountofmoney——

fromStanleyBairdunderfalsepretenses。Howcouldshehopetosingwhenhervoicecouldnotbereliedupon？

Wasnotherthroatatthatverymomentslightlysore？

Wasitnotalwaysgoingqueer？She——sing！Absurd。

DidStanleyBairdsuspect？Washewaitingforthetimewhenshewouldgladlyacceptwhatshemusthavefromhim，onhisownterms？No，notonhisterms，butonthetermssheherselfwouldarrange——

theonlytermsshecouldmake。No，Stanleybelievedinherabsolutely——believedinhercareer。Whenhediscoveredthetruth，hewouldloseinterestinher，wouldregardherasapoor，worthlesscreature，wouldbeeagertoridhimselfofher。Insteadofreturningtothehouse，shewentintheoppositedirection，madeacircuitandburiedherselfinthewoodsbeyondtheShrewsbury。Shewasmadtogetawayfromherowncompany。buttheonlycompanyshecouldflytowasmoredepressingthanthesolitudeandthetauntandsneerandlashofherownthoughts。Itwaslateintheafternoonbeforeshenervedherselftogohome。Shehopedtheotherswouldhavegoneoffsomewhere。buttheywerewaitingforher，StanleyanxiousandCyrillaBrindleyirritated。HereyessoughtKeith。Hewas，asusual，theindifferentspectator。

``Wherehaveyoubeen？’’criedStanley。

``Makingupmymind，’’saidsheinthetonethatforewarnsofastorm。

Abriefpause。ShestruggledinvainagainstanimpulsetolookatKeith。Whenhereyesturnedinhisdirectionhe，notlookingather，movedinhislistlesswaytowardthedoor。Saidhe：

``Theauto’swaiting。Comeon。’’

Shevacillated，yielded，begantoputonthewrapsStanleywascollectingforher。Itwasabigtouring-

car，andtheysattwoandtwo，withthechauffeuralone。