第14章

Shedidearnseveralthatyear，andbegantofeelherselfapowerinthehouse，forbythemagicofapen，her`rubbish’turnedintocomfortsforthemall。TheDuke’sDaughterpaidthebutcher’sbill，APhantomHandputdownanewcarpet，andtheCurseoftheCoventrysprovedtheblessingoftheMarchesinthewayofgroceriesandgowns。Wealthiscertainlyamostdesirablething，butpovertyhasitssunnyside，andoneofthesweetusesofadversityisthegenuinesatisfactionwhichcomesfromheartyworkofheadorhand，andtotheinspirationofnecessity，weowehalfthewise，beautiful，andusefulblessingsoftheworld。Joenjoyedatasteofthissatisfaction，andceasedtoenvyrichergirls，takinggreatcomfortintheknowledgethatshecouldsupplyherownwants，andneedasknooneforapenny。Littlenoticewastakenofherstories，buttheyfoundamarket，andencouragedbythisfact，sheresolvedtomakeaboldstrokeforfameandfortune。Havingcopiedhernovelforthefourthtime，readittoallherconfidentialfriends，andsubmitteditwithfearandtremblingtothreepublishers，sheatlastdisposedofit，onconditionthatshewouldcutitdownonethird，andomitallthepartswhichsheparticularlyadmired。"NowImusteitherbundleitbackintomytinkitchentomold，payforprintingitmyself，orchopituptosuitpurchasersandgetwhatIcanforit。Fameisaverygoodthingtohaveinthehouse，butcashismoreconvenient，soIwishtotakethesenseofthemeetingonthisimportantsubject，"saidJo，callingafamilycouncil。"Don’tspoilyourbook，mygirl，forthereismoreinitthanyouknow，andtheideaiswellworkedout。Letitwaitandripen，"washerfather’sadvice，andhepracticedwhathepreached，havingwaitedpatientlythirtyyearsforfruitofhisowntoripen，andbeinginnohastetogatheritevennowwhenitwassweetandmellow。"ItseemstomethatJowillprofitmorebytakingthetrialthanbywaiting，"saidMrs。March。"Criticismisthebesttestofsuchwork，foritwillshowherbothunsuspectedmeritsandfaults，andhelphertodobetternexttime。Wearetoopartial，butthepraiseandblameofoutsiderswillproveuseful，evenifshegetsbutlittlemoney。""Yes，"saidJo，knittingherbrows，"that’sjustit。I’vebeenfussingoverthethingsolong，Ireallydon’tknowwhetherit’sgood，bad，orindifferent。Itwillbeagreathelptohavecool，impartialpersonstakealookatit，andtellmewhattheythinkofit。""Iwouldn’tleaveawordoutofit。You’llspoilitifyoudo，fortheinterestofthestoryismoreinthemindsthanintheactionsofthepeople，anditwillbeallamuddleifyoudon’texplainasyougoon，"saidMeg，whofirmlybelievedthatthisbookwasthemostremarkablenoveleverwritten。"ButMr。Allensays，`Leaveouttheexplanations，makeitbriefanddramatic，andletthecharacterstellthestory’，"interruptedJo，turningtothepublisher’snote。"Doashetellsyou。Heknowswhatwillsale，andwedon’t。Makeagood，popularbook，andgetasmuchmoneyasyoucan。By—and—by，whenyou’vegotaname，youcanaffordtodigress，andhavephilosophicalandmetaphysicalpeopleinyournovels，"saidAmy，whotookastrictlypracticalviewofthesubject。"Well，"saidJo，laughing，"ifmypeopleare`philosophicalandmetaphysical’，itisn’tmyfault，forIknownothingaboutsuchthings，exceptwhatIhearfathersay;，sometimes。IfI’vegotsomeofhiswiseideasjumbledupwithmyromance，somuchthebetterforme。Now，Beth，whatdoyousay？""Ishouldsoliketoseeitprintedsoon，"wasallBethsaid，andsmiledinsayingit。Buttherewasanunconsciousemphasisonthelastword，andawistfullookintheeyesthatneverlosttheirchildlikecandor，whichchilledJo’sheartforaminutewithaforbodingfear，anddecidedhertomakeherlittleventure`soon’。So，withSpartanfirmness，theyoungauthoresslaidherfirst—bornonhertable，andchoppeditupasruthlesslyasanyogre。Inthehopeofpleasingeveryone，shetookeveryone’sadvice，andliketheoldmanandhisdonkeyinthefablesuitednobody。Herfatherlikedthemetaphysicalstreakwhichhadunconsciouslygotintoit，sothatwasallowedtoremainthoughshehadherdoubtsaboutit。Hermotherthoughtthattherewasatrifletoomuchdescription。Out，thereforeitcame，andwithitmanynecessarylinksinthestory。Megadmiredthetragedy，soJopileduptheagonytosuither，whileAmyobjectedtothefun，and，withthebestintentionsinlife，Joquenchedthesprightlysceneswhichrelievedthesombercharacterofthestory。Then，tocomplicatetheruin，shecutitdownonethird，andconfidinglysentthepoorlittleromance，likeapickedrobin，outintothebig，busyworldtotryitsfate。Well，itwasprinted，andshegotthreehundreddollarsforit，likewiseplentyofpraiseandblame，bothsomuchgreaterthansheexpectedthatshewasthrownintoastateofbewildermentfromwhichittookhersometimetorecover。"Yousaid，Mother，thatcriticismwouldhelpme。Buthowcanit，whenit’ssocontradictorythatIdon’tknowwhetherI’vewrittenapromisingbookorbrokenallthetencommandments？"criedpoorJo，turningoveraheapofnotices，theperusalofwhichfilledherwithprideandjoyoneminute，wrathanddismaythenext。"Thismansays，`Anexquisitebook，fulloftruth，beauty，andearnestness。Allissweet，pure，andhealthy。’"continuedtheperplexedauthoress。"Thenext，`Thetheoryofthebookisbad，fullofmorbidfancies，spiritualisticideas，andunnaturalcharacters。’Now，asIhadnotheoryofanykind，don’tbelieveinSpiritualism，andcopiedmycharactersfromlife，Idon’tseehowthiscriticcanberight。Anothersays，`It’soneofthebestAmericannovelswhichhasappearedforyears。’（Iknowbetterthanthat），andthenextassertsthat`Thoughitisoriginal，andwrittenwithgreatforceandfeeling，itisadangerousbook。’’Tisn’t！Somemakefunofit，someoverpraise，andnearlyallinsistthatIhadadeeptheorytoexpound，whenIonlywroteitforthepleasureandthemoney。IwishI’dprintedthewholeornotatall，forIdohatetobesomisjudged。"Herfamilyandfriendsadministeredcomfortandcommendationliberally。Yetitwasahardtimeforsensitive，high—spiritedJo，whomeantsowellandhadapparentlydonesoill。Butitdidhergood，forthosewhoseopinionhadrealvaluegaveherthecriticismwhichisanauthor’sbesteducation，andwhenthefirstsorenesswasover，shecouldlaughatherpoorlittlebook，yetbelieveinitstill，andfeelherselfthewiserandstrongerforthebuffetingshehadreceived。"Notbeingagenius，likeKeats，itwon’tkillme，"shesaidstoutly，"andI’vegotthejokeonmyside，afterall，forthepartsthatweretakenstraightoutofreallifearedenouncedasimpossibleandabsurd，andthescenesthatImadeupoutofmyownsillyheadarepronounced`charminglynatural，tender，andtrue’。SoI’llcomfortmyselfwiththat，andwhenI’mready，I’llupagainandtakeanother。"

GoodWives:Chapter5CHAPTER5DomesticExperiencesLikemostotheryoungmatrons，Megbeganhermarriedlifewiththedeterminationtobeamodelhousekeeper。Johnshouldfindhomeaparadise，heshouldalwaysseeasmilingface，shouldfaresumptuouslyeveryday，andneverknowthelossofabutton。Shebroughtsomuchlove，energy，andcheerfulnesstotheworkthatshecouldnotbutsucceed，inspiteofsomeobstacles。Herparadisewasnotatranquilone，forthelittlewomanfussed，wasover—anxioustoplease，andbustledaboutlikeatrueMartha，cumberedwithmanycares。Shewastootired，sometimes，eventosmile，Johngrewdyspepticafteracourseofdaintydishesandungratefullydemandedplainfare。Asforbuttons，shesoonlearnedtowonderwheretheywent，toshakeherheadoverthecarelessnessofmen，andtothreatentomakehimsewthemonhimself，andseeifhisworkwouldstandimpatientandclumsyfingersanybetterthanhers。

Theywereveryhappy，evenaftertheydiscoveredthattheycouldn’tliveonlovealone。JohndidnotfindMeg’sbeautydiminished，thoughshebeamedathimfrombehindthefamiliarcoffeepot。NordidMegmissanyoftheromancefromthedailyparting，whenherhusbandfolloweduphiskisswiththetenderinquiry，"ShallIsendsomevealormuttonfordinner，darling？"Thelittlehouseceasedtobeaglorifiedbower，butitbecameahome，andtheyoungcouplesoonfeltthatitwasachangeforthebetter。Atfirsttheyplayedkeep—house，andfrolickedoveritlikechildren。ThenJohntooksteadilytobusiness，feelingthecaresoftheheadofafamilyuponhisshoulders，andMeglaidbyhercambricwrappers，putonabigapron，andfelltowork，asbeforesaid，withmoreenergythandiscretion。

WhilethecookingmanialastedshewentthroughMrs。Cornelius’sReceiptBookasifitwereamathematicalexercise，workingouttheproblemswithpatienceandcare。Sometimesherfamilywereinvitedintohelpeatupatoobounteousfeastofsuccesses，orLottywouldbeprivatelydispatchedwithabatchoffailures，whichweretobeconcealedfromalleyesintheconvenientstomachsofthelittleHummels。AneveningwithJohnovertheaccountbooksusuallyproducedatemporarylullintheculinaryenthusiasm，andafrugalfitwouldensue，duringwhichthepoormanwasputthroughacourseofbreadpudding，hash，andwarmed—overcoffee，whichtriedhissoul，althoughheboreitwithpraiseworthyfortitude。Beforethegoldenmeanwasfound，however，Megaddedtoherdomesticpossessionswhatyoungcouplesseldomgetonlongwithout，afamilyjar。

Firedawithhousewifelywishtoseeherstoreroomstockedwithhome—madepreserves，sheundertooktoputupherowncurrantjelly。Johnwasrequestedtoorderhomeadozenorsooflittlepotsandanextraquantityofsugar，fortheirowncurrantswereripeandweretobeattendedtoatonce。AsJohnfirmlybelievedthat`mywife’wasequaltoanything，andtookanaturalprideinherskill，heresolvedthatsheshouldbegratified，andtheironlycropoffruitlaidbyinamostpleasingformforwinteruse。Homecamefourdozendelightfullittlepots，halfabarrelofsugar，andasmallboytopickthecurrantsforher。Withherprettyhairtuckedintoalittlecap，armsbaredtotheelbow，andacheckedapronwhichhadacoquettishlookinspiteofthebib，theyounghousewifefelltowork，feelingnodoubtsabouthersuccess，forhadn’tsheseenHannahdoithundredsoftimes？Thearrayofpotsratheramazedheratfirst，butJohnwassofondofjelly，andthenicelittlejarswouldlooksowellonthetopshelf，thatMegresolvedtofillthemall，andspendalongdaypicking，boiling，straining，andfussingoverherjelly。Shedidherbest，sheaskedadviceofMrs。Cornelius，sherackedherbraintorememberwhatHannahdidthatsheleftundone，shereboiled，resugared，andrestrained，butthatdreadfulstuffwouldn’t`jell’。

Shelongedtorunhome，bibandall，andaskMothertolendherahand，butJohnandshehadagreedthattheywouldneverannoyanyonewiththeirprivateworries，experiments，orquarrels。Theyhadlaughedoverthatlastwordasiftheideaitsuggestedwasamostpreposterousone，buttheyhadheldtotheirresolve，andwhenevertheycouldgetonwithouthelptheydidso，andnooneinterfered，forMrs。Marchhadadvisedtheplan。SoMegwrestledalonewiththerefractorysweetmeatsallthathotsummerday，andatfiveo’clocksatdowninhertopsy—turveykitchen，wrungherbedaubedhands，lifteduphervoiceandwept。

Now，inthefirstflushofthenewlife，shehadoftensaid，"Myhusbandshallalwaysfeelfreetobringafriendhomewheneverhelikes。Ishallalwaysbeprepared。Thereshallbenoflurry，noscolding，nodiscomfort，butaneathouse，acheerfulwife，andagooddinner。John，dear，neverstoptoaskmyleave，invitewhomyouplease，andbesureofawelcomefromme。"

Howcharmingthatwas，tobesure！Johnquiteglowedwithpridetohearhersayit，andfeltwhatablessedthingitwastohaveasuperiorwife。But，althoughtheyhadhadcompanyfromtimetotime，itneverhappenedtobeunexpected，andMeghadneverhadanopportunitytodistinguishherselftillnow。Italwayshappenssointhisvaleoftears，thereisaninevitabilityaboutsuchthingswhichwecanonlywonderat，deplore，andbearaswebestcan。

IfJohnhadnotforgottenallaboutthejelly，itreallywouldhavebeenunpardonableinhimtochoosethatday，ofallthedaysintheyear，tobringafriendhometodinnerunexpectedly。Congratulatinghimselfthatahandsomerepasthadbeenorderedthatmorning，feelingsurethatitwouldbereadytotheminute，andindulginginpleasantanticipationsofthecharmingeffectitwouldproduce，whenhisprettywifecamerunningouttomeethim，heescortedhisfriendtohismansion，withtheirrepressiblesatisfactionofayounghostandhusband。

Itisaworldofdisappointments，asJohndiscoveredwhenhereachedtheDovecote。thefrontdoorusuallystoodhospitablyopen。Nowitwasnotonlyshut，butlocked，andyesterday’smudstilladornedthesteps。Theparlorwindowswereclosedandcurtained，nopictureoftheprettywifesewingonthepiazza，inwhite，withadistractinglittlebowinherhair，orabright—eyedhostess，smilingashywelcomeasshegreetedherguest。Nothingofthesort，fornotasoulappearedbutasanguinary—lookingboyasleepunderthecurrentbushes。

"I’mafraidsomethinghashappened。Stepintothegarden，Scott，whileIlookupMrs。Brooke，"saidJohn，alarmedatthesilenceandsolitude。

Roundthehousehehurried，ledbyapungentsmellofburnedsugar，andMr。Scottstrolledafterhim，withaqueerlookonhisface。HepauseddiscreetlyatadistancewhenBrookedisappeared，buthecouldbothseeandhear，andbeingabachelor，enjoyedtheprospectmightily。

Inthekitchenreignedconfusionanddespair。Oneeditionofjellywastrickledfrompottopot，anotherlayuponthefloor，andathirdwasburninggailyonthestove。Lotty，withTeutonicphlegm，wascalmlyeatingbreadandcurrantwine，forthejellywasstillinahopelesslyliquidstate，whileMrs。Brooke，withherapronoverherhead，satsobbingdismally。

"Mydearestgirl，whatisthematter？"criedJohn，rushingin，withawfulvisionsofscaldedhands，suddennewsofaffliction，andsecretconsternationatthethoughtoftheguestinthegarden。

"Oh，John，Iamsotiredandhotandcrossandworried！I’vebeenatittillI’mallwornout。DocomeandhelpmeorIshalldie！"Andtheexhaustedhousewifecastherselfuponhisbreast，givinghimasweetwelcomeineverysenseoftheword，forherpinaforehadbeenbaptizedatthesametimeasthefloor。

"Whatworriesyoudear？Hasanythingdreadfulhappened？"askedtheanxiousJohn，tenderlykissingthecrownofthelittlecap，whichwasallaskew。

"Yes，"sobbedMegdespairingly。

"Tellmequick，then。Don’tcry。Icanbearanythingbetterthanthat。Outwithit，love。"

"The……Thejellywon’tjellandIdon’tknowwhattodo！"

JohnBrookelaughedthenasheneverdaredtolaughafterward，andthederisiveScottsmiledinvoluntarilyasheheardtheheartypeal，whichputthefinishingstroketopoorMeg’swoe。

"Isthatall？Flingitoutofthewindow，anddon’tbotheranymoreaboutit。I’llbuyyouquartsifyouwantit，butforheaven’ssakedon’thavehysterics，forI’vebroughtJackScotthometodinner，and……"

Johngotnofurther，forMegcasthimoff，andclaspedherhandswithatragicgestureasshefellintoachair，exclaiminginatoneofmingledindignation，reproach，anddismay……

"Amantodinner，andeverythinginamess！JohnBrooke，howcouldyoudosuchathing？"

"Hush，he’sinthegarden！Iforgottheconfoundedjelly，butitcan’tbehelpednow，"saidJohn，surveyingtheprospectwithananxiouseye。

"Yououghttohavesentword，ortoldmethismorning，andyououghttohaverememberedhowbusyIwas，"continuedMegpetulantly，foreventurtledoveswillpeckwhenruffled。

"Ididn’tknowitthismorning，andtherewasnotimetosendword，forImethimonthewayout。Ineverthoughtofaskingleave，whenyouhavealwaystoldmetodoasIliked。Inevertrieditbefore，andhangmeifIeverdoagain！"addedJohn，withanaggrievedair。

"Ishouldhopenot！Takehimawayatonce。Ican’tseehim，andthereisn’tanydinner。"

"Well，Ilikethat！Where’sthebeefandvegetablesIsenthome，andthepuddingyoupromised？"criedJohn，rushingtothelarder。"Ihadn’ttimetocookanything。ImeanttodineatMother’s。I’msorry，butIwassobusy，"andMeg’stearsbeganagain。

Johnwasamildman，buthewashuman，andafteralongday’sworktocomehometired，hungry，andhopeful，tofindachaotichouse，anemptytable，andacrosswifewasnotexactlyconductivetoreposeofmindormanner。Herestrainedhimselfhowever，andthelittlesquallwouldhaveblownover，butforoneunluckyword。

"It’sascrape，Iacknowledge，butifyouwilllendahand，we’llpullthroughandhaveagoodtimeyet。Don’tcry，dear，butjustexertyourselfabit，andfixusupsomethingtoeat。We’rebothashungryashunters，soweshan’tmindwhatitis。Giveusthecoldmeat，andbreadandcheese。Wewon’taskforjelly。"

Hemeantittobeagood—naturedjoke，butthatonewordsealedhisfate。Megthoughtitwastoocrueltohintabouthersadfailure，andthelastatomofpatiencevanishedashespoke。

"Youmustgetyourselfoutofthescrapeasyoucan。I’mtoousedupto`exert’myselfforanyone。It’slikeamantoproposeaboneandvulgarbreadandcheeseforcompany。Iwon’thaveanythingofthesortinmyhouse。TakethatScottuptoMother’s，andtellhimI’maway，sick，dead，anything。Iwon’tseehim，andyoutwocanlaughatmeandmyjellyasmuchasyoulike。Youwon’thaveanythingelsehere。"Andhavingdeliveredherdefianceallononebreath，Megcastawayherpinaforeandprecipitatelyleftthefieldtobemoanherselfinherownroom。

Whatthosetwocreaturesdidinherabsence，sheneverknew，butMr。scottwasnottaken`uptoMother’s’，andwhenMegdescended，aftertheyhadstrolledawaytogether，shefoundtracesofapromiscuouslunchwhichfilledherwithhorror。Lottyreportedthattheyhadeaten"amuch，andgreatlylaughed，andthemasterbidherthrowawayallthesweetstuff，andhidethepots。"

MeglongedtogoandtellMother，butasenseofshameatherownshortcomings，ofloyaltytoJohn，"whomightbecruel，butnobodyshouldknowit，"restrainedher，andafterasummarycleaningup，shedressedherselfprettily，andsatdowntowaitforJohntocomeandbeforgiven。

Unfortunately，Johndidn’tcome，notseeingthematterinthatlight。HehadcarrieditoffasagoodjokewithScott，excusedhislittlewifeaswellashecould，andplayedthehostsohospitablythathisfriendenjoyedtheimpromptudinner，andpromisedtocomeagain，butJohnwasangry，thoughhedidnotshowit，hefeltthatMeghaddesertedhiminhishourofneed。"Itwasn’tfairtotellamantobringfolkshomeanytime，withperfectfreedom，andwhenhetookyouatyourword，toflameupandblamehim，andleavehiminthelurch，tobelaughedatorpitied。No，byGeorge，itwasn’t！AndMegmustknowit。"

Hehadfumedinwardlyduringthefeast，butwhentheflurrywasoverandhestrolledhomeafterseeingScottoff，amildermoodcameoverhim。"Poorlittlething！Itwasharduponherwhenshetriedsoheartilytopleaseme。Shewaswrong，ofcourse，butthenshewasyoung。Imustbepatientandteachher。"Hehopedshehadnotgonehome——hehatedgossipandinterference。Foraminutehewasruffledagainatthemerethoughtofit，andthenthefearthatMegwouldcryherselfsicksoftenedhisheart，andsenthimonataquickerpace，resolvingtobecalmandkind，butfirm，quitefirm，andshowherwhereshehadfailedinherdutytoherspouse。

Meglikewiseresolvedtobe`calmandkind，butfirm’，andshowhimhisduty。Shelongedtoruntomeethim，andbegpardon，andbekissedandcomforted，asshewassureofbeing，but，ofcourse，shedidnothingofthesort，andwhenshesawJohncoming，begantohumquitenaturally，assherockedandsewed，likealadyofleisureinherbestparlor。

JohnwasalittledisappointednottofindatenderNiobe，butfeelingthathisdignitydemandedthefirstapology，hemadenone，onlycameleisurelyinandlaidhimselfuponthesofawiththesingularlyrelevantremark，"Wearegoingtohaveanewmoon，mydear。"

"I’venoobjection，"wasMeg’sequallysoothingremark。AfewothertopicsofgeneralinterestwereintroducedbyMr。Brookeandwet—blanketedbyMrs。Brooke，andconversationlanguished。Johnwenttoonewindow，unfoldedhispaper，andwrappedhimselfinit，figurativelyspeaking。Megwenttotheotherwindow，andsewedasifnewrosettesforslipperswereamongthenecessariesoflife。Neitherspoke。Bothlookedquite`calmandfirm’，andbothfeltdesperatelyuncomfortable。

"Oh，dear，"thoughtMeg，"marriedlifeisverytrying，anddoesneedinfinitepatienceaswellaslove，asMothersays。"Theword`Mother’suggestedothermaternalcounselsgivenlongago，andreceivedwithunbelievingprotests。

"Johnisagoodman，buthehashisfaults，andyoumustlearntoseeandbearwiththem，rememberingyourown。Heisverydecided，butneverwillbeobstinate，ifyoureasonkindly，notopposeimpatiently。Heisveryaccurate，andparticularaboutthetruth——agoodtrait，thoughyoucallhim`fussy’。Neverdeceivehimbylookorword，Meg，andhewillgiveyoutheconfidenceyoudeserve，thesupportyouneed。Hehasatemper，notlikeours——oneflashandthenallover——butthewhite，stillangerthatisseldomstirred，butoncekindledishardtoquench。Becareful，beverycareful，nottowakehisangeragainstyourself，forpeaceandhappinessdependonkeepinghisrespect。Watchyourself，bethefirsttoaskpardonifyoubotherr，andguardagainstthelittlepiques，misunderstandings，andhastywordsthatoftenpavethewayforbittersorrowandregret。"

ThesewordscamebacktoMeg，asshesatsewinginthesunset，especiallythelast。Thiswasthefirstseriousdisagreement，herownhastyspeechessoundedbothsillyandunkind，assherecalledthem，herownangerlookedchildishnow，andthoughtsofpoorJohncominghometosuchascenequitemeltedherheart。Sheglancedathimwithtearsinhereyes，buthedidnotseethem。Sheputdownherworkandgotup，thinking，"Iwillbethefirsttosay，`Forgiveme’，buthedidnotseemtohearher。Shewentveryslowlyacrosstheroom，forpridewashardtoswallow，andstoodbyhim，buthedidnotturnhishead。Foraminuteshefeltasifshereallycouldn’tdoit，thencamethethought，Thisisthebeginning。I’lldomypart，andhavenothingtoreproachmyselfwith，"andstoopingsown，shesoftlykissedherhusbandontheforehead。Ofcoursethatsettledit。Thepenitentkisswasbetterthanaworldofwords，andJohnhadheronhiskneeinaminute，sayingtenderly……

"Itwastoobadtolaughatthepoorlittlejellypots。Forgiveme，dear。Ineverwillagain！"

Buthedid，ohblessyou，yes，hundredsoftimes，andsodidMeg，bothdeclaringthatitwasthesweetestjellytheyevermade，forfamilypeacewaspreservedinthatlittlefamilyjar。

Afterthis，MeghadMr。Scotttodinnerbyspecialinvitation，andservedhimupapleasantfeastwithoutacookedwifeforthefirstcourse，onwhichoccasionshewassogayandgracious，andmadeeverythinggooffsocharmingly，thatMr。ScotttoldJohnhewasaluckyfellow，andshookhisheadoverthehardshipsofbachelorhoodallthewayhome。

Intheautumn，newtrialsandexperiencescametoMeg。SallieMoffatrenewedherfriendship，wasalwaysrunningoutforadishofgossipatthelittlehouse，orinviting`thatpoordear’tocomeinandspendthedayatthebighouse。Itwaspleasant，forindullweatherMegoftenfeltlonely。Allwerebusyathome，Johnabsenttillnight，andnothingtodobutsew，orread，orpotterabout。SoitnaturallyfelloutthatMeggotintothewayofgaddingandgossipingwithherfriend。SeeingSallie’sprettythingsmadeherlongforsuch，andpityherselfbecauseshehadnotgotthem。Salliewasverykind，andoftenofferedherthecovetedtrifles，butMegdeclinedthem，knowingthatJohnwouldn’tlikeit，andthenthisfoolishlittlewomanwentanddidwhatJohndislikedevenworse。

Sheknewherhusband’sincome，andshelovedtofeelthathetrustedher，notonlywithhishappiness，butwhatsomemenseemtovaluemore——hismoney。Sheknewwhereitwas，wasfreetotakewhatsheliked，andallheaskedwasthatsheshouldkeepaccountofeverypenny，paybillsonceamonth，andrememberthatshewasapoorman’swife。Tillnowshehaddonewell，beenprudentandexact，keptherlittleaccountbooksneatly，andshowedthemtohimmonthlywithoutfear。ButthatautumntheserpentgotintoMeg’sparadise，andtemptedherlikemanyamodernEve，notwithapples，butwithdress。Megdidn’tliketobepitiedandmadetofeelpoor。Itirritatedher，butshewasashamedtoconfessit，andnowandthenshetriedtoconsoleherselfbybuyingsomethingpretty，sothatSallieneedn’tthinkshehadtoeconomize。Shealwaysfeltwickedafterit，fortheprettythingswereseldomnecessaries，butthentheycostsolittle，itwasn’tworthworryingabout，sothetriflesincreasedunconsciously，andintheshoppingexcursionsshewasnolongerapassivelooker—on。

Butthetriflescostmorethanonewouldimagine，andwhenshecastupheraccountsattheendofthemonththesumtotalratherscaredher。Johnwasbusythatmonthandleftthebillstoher，thenextmonthhewasabsent，butthethirdhehadagrandquarterlysettlingup，andMegneverforgotit。Afewdaysbeforeshehaddoneadreadfulthing，anditweigheduponherconscience。Salliehadbeenbuyingsilks，andMeglongedforanewone，justahandsomelightoneforparties，herblacksilkwassocommon，andthinthingsforeveningwearwereonlyproperforgirls。AuntMarchusuallygavethesistersapresentoftwenty—fivedollarsapieceatNewYear’s。Thatwasonlyamonthtowait，andherewasalovelyvioletsilkgoingatabargain，andshehadthemoney，ifsheonlydaredtotakeit。Johnalwayssaidwhatwashiswashers，butwouldhethinkitrighttospendnotonlytheprospectivefive—and—twenty，butanotherfive—and—twentyoutofthehouseholdfund？Thatwasthequestion。Salliehadurgedhertodoit，hadofferedtolendthemoney，andwiththebestintentionsinlifehadtemptedMegbeyondherstrength。Inanevilmomenttheshopmanheldupthelovely，shimmeringfolds，andsaid，"Abargain，Iassure，you，ma’am。"Sheanswered，"I’lltakeit，"anditwascutoffandpaidfor，andSalliehadexulted，andshehadlaughedasifitwereathingofnoconsequence，anddrivenaway，feelingasifshehadstolensomething，andthepolicewereafterher。

Whenshegothome，shetriedtoassuagethepangsofremorsebyspreadingforththelovelysilk，butitlookedlesssilverynow，didn’tbecomeher，afterall，andthewords`fiftydollars’seemedstampedlikeapatterndowneachbreadth。Sheputitaway，butithauntedher，notdelightfullyasanewdressshould，butdreadfullyliketheghostofafollythatwasnoteasilylaid。WhenJohngotouthisbooksthatnight，Meg’sheartsank，andforthefirsttimeinhermarriedlife，shewasafraidofherhusband。Thekind，browneyeslookedasiftheycouldbestern，andthoughhewasunusuallymerry，shefanciedhehadfoundherout，butdidn’tmeantoletherknowit。Thehousebillswereallpaid，thebooksallinorder。Johnhadpraisedher，andwasundoingtheoldpocketbookwhichtheycalledthe`bank’，whenMeg，knowingthatitwasquiteempty，stoppedhishand，sayingnervously……

"Youhaven’tseenmyprivateexpensebookyet。"

Johnneveraskedtoseeit，butshealwaysinsistedonhisdoingso，andusedtoenjoyhismasculineamazementatthequeerthingswomenwanted，andmadehimguesswhatpipingwas，demandfiercelythemeaningofahug—me—tight，orwonderhowalittlethingcomposedofthreerosebuds，abitofvelvet，andapairofstrings，couldpossiblybeabonnet，andcostsixdollars。Thatnighthelookedasifhewouldlikethefunofquizzingherfiguresandpretendingtobehorrifiedatherextravagance，asheoftendid，beingparticularlyproudofhisprudentwife。

Thelittlebookwasbroughtslowlyoutandlaiddownbeforehim。Meggotbehindhischairunderpretenceofsmoothingthewrinklesoutofhistiredforehead，andstandingthere，shesaid，withherpanicincreasingwitheveryword……

"John，dear，I’mashamedtoshowyoumybook，forI’vereallybeendreadfullyextravagantlately。IgoaboutsomuchImusthavethings，youknow，andSallieadvisedmygettingit，soIdid，andmyNewYear’smoneywillpartlypayforit，butIwassorryafterIhaddoneit，forIknewyou’dthinkitwronginme。"

Johnlaughed，anddrewherroundbesidehim，sayinggoodhumoredly，"Don’tgoandhide。Iwon’tbeatyouifyouhavegotapairofkillingboots。I’mratherproudofmywife’sfeet，anddon’tmindifshedoespayeightorninedollarsforherboots，iftheyaregoodones。"

Thathadbeenoneofherlast`trifles’，andJohn’seyehadfallenonitashespoke。"Oh，whatwillhesaywhenhecomestothatawfulfiftydollars！"thoughtMeg，withashiver。

"It’sworsethanboots，it’sasilkdress，"shesaid，withthecalmnessofdesperation，forshewantedtheworstover。

"Well，dear，whatisthe`dem’dtotal’，asMr。Mantalinisays？"

Thatdidn’tsoundlikeJohn，andsheknewhewaslookingupatherwiththestraightforwardlookthatshehadalwaysbeenreadytomeetandanswerwithoneasfranktillnow。Sheturnedthepageandherheadatthesametime，pointingtothesumwhichwouldhavebeenbadenoughwithoutthefifty，butwhichwasappallingtoherwiththatadded。Foraminutetheroomwasverystill，thenJohnsaidslowly——butshecouldfeelitcosthimanefforttoexpressnodispleasure——……

"Well，Idon’tknowthatfiftyismuchforadress，withallthefurbelowsandnotionsyouhavetohavetofinishitoffthesedays。"

"Itisn’tmadeortrimmed，"sighedMeg，faintly，forasuddenrecollectionofthecoststilltobeincurredquiteoverwhelmedher。

"Twenty—fiveyardsofsilkseemsagooddealtocoveronesmallwoman，butI’venodoubtmywifewilllookasfineasNedMoffat’swhenshegetsiton，"saidJohndryly。

"Iknowyouareangry，John，butIcan’thelpit。Idon’tmeantowasteyourmoney，andIdidn’tthinkthoselittlethingswouldcountupso。Ican’tresistthemwhenIseeSalliebuyingallshewants，andpityingmebecauseIdon’t。Itrytobecontented，butitishard，andI’mtiredofbeingpoor。"

Thelastwordswerespokensolowshethoughthedidnothearthem，buthedid，andtheywoundedhimdeeply，forhehaddeniedhimselfmanypleasuresforMeg’ssake。Shecouldhavebittenhertongueouttheminuteshehadsaidit，forJohnpushedthebooksawayandgotup，sayingwithalittlequiverinhisvoice，"Iwasafraidofthis。Idomybest，Meg。"Ifhehadscoldedher，orevenshakenher，itwouldnothavebrokenherheartlikethosefewwords。Sherantohimandheldhimclose，crying，withrepentanttears，"Oh，John，mydear，kind，hard—workingboy。Ididn’tmeanit！Itwassowicked，sountrueandungrateful，howcouldIsayit！Oh，howcouldIsayit！"Hewasverykind，forgaveherreadily，anddidnotutteronereproach，butMegknewthatshehaddoneandsaidathingwhichwouldnotbeforgottensoon，althoughhemightneveralludetoitagain。Shehadpromisedtolovehimforbetterorworse，andthenshe，hiswife，hadreproachedhimwithhispoverty，afterspendinghisearningsrecklessly。