第21章

Mr.Woodhousehadbeenexceedinglywellamused.Mrs.Westonhadbeenshewingthemalltohim,andnowhewouldshewthemalltoEmma;-fortunateinhavingnootherresemblancetoachild,thaninatotalwantoftasteforwhathesaw,forhewasslow,constant,andmethodical-Beforethissecondlookingoverwasbegun,however,Emmawalkedintothehallforthesakeofafewmoments\'freeobservationoftheentranceandground-plotofthehouse-andwashardlythere,whenJaneFairfaxappeared,comingquicklyinfromthegarden,andwithalookofescape-LittleexpectingtomeetMissWoodhousesosoon,therewasastartatfirst;butMissWoodhousewastheverypersonshewasinquestof.

`Willyoubesokind,\'saidshe,`whenIammissed,astosaythatIamgonehome?-Iamgoingthismoment-Myauntisnotawarehowlateitis,norhowlongwehavebeenabsent-butIamsureweshallbewanted,andIamdeterminedtogodirectly-Ihavesaidnothingaboutittoanybody.Itwouldonlybegivingtroubleanddistress.Somearegonetotheponds,andsometothelimewalk.TilltheyallcomeinIshallnotbemissed;andwhentheydo,willyouhavethegoodnesstosaythatIamgone?\'

`Certainly,ifyouwishit;-butyouarenotgoingtowalktoHighburyalone?\'

`Yes-whatshouldhurtme?-Iwalkfast.Ishallbeathomeintwentyminutes.\'

`Butitistoofar,indeeditis,tobewalkingquitealone.Letmyfather\'sservantgowithyou-Letmeorderthecarriage.Itcanberoundinfiveminutes.\'

`Thankyou,thankyou-butonnoaccount-Iwouldratherwalk-Andformetobeafraidofwalkingalone!-I,whomaysosoonhavetoguardothers!\'

Shespokewithgreatagitation;andEmmaveryfeelinglyreplied,`Thatcanbenoreasonforyourbeingexposedtodangernow.Imustorderthecarriage.Theheatevenwouldbedanger-Youarefatiguedalready.\'

`Iam,\'-sheanswered-`Iamfatigued;butitisnotthesortoffatigue-quickwalkingwillrefreshme-MissWoodhouse,weallknowattimeswhatitistobeweariedinspirits.Mine,Iconfess,areexhausted.Thegreatestkindnessyoucanshewme,willbetoletmehavemyownway,andonlysaythatIamgonewhenitisnecessary.\'

Emmahadnotanotherwordtooppose.Shesawitall;andenteringintoherfeelings,promotedherquittingthehouseimmediately,andwatchedhersafelyoffwiththezealofafriend.Herpartinglookwasgrateful-andherpartingwords,`Oh!MissWoodhouse,thecomfortofbeingsometimesalone!\'-seemedtoburstfromanoverchargedheart,andtodescribesomewhatofthecontinualendurancetobepractisedbyher,eventowardssomeofthosewholovedherbest.

`Suchahome,indeed!suchanaunt!\'saidEmma,assheturnedbackintothehallagain.`Idopityyou.Andthemoresensibilityyoubetrayoftheirjusthorrors,themoreIshalllikeyou.\'

Janehadnotbeengoneaquarterofanhour,andtheyhadonlyaccomplishedsomeviewsofSt.Mark\'sPlace,Venice,whenFrankChurchillenteredtheroom.Emmahadnotbeenthinkingofhim,shehadforgottentothinkofhim-butshewasverygladtoseehim.Mrs.Westonwouldbeatease.Theblackmarewasblameless;theywererightwhohadnamedMrs.Churchillasthecause.Hehadbeendetainedbyatemporaryincreaseofillnessinher;anervousseizure,whichhadlastedsomehours-andhehadquitegivenupeverythoughtofcoming,tillverylate;-andhadheknownhowhotarideheshouldhave,andhowlate,withallhishurry,hemustbe,hebelievedheshouldnothavecomeatall.Theheatwasexcessive;hehadneversufferedanythinglikeit-almostwishedhehadstaidathome-nothingkilledhimlikeheat-hecouldbearanydegreeofcold,etc.,butheatwasintolerable-andhesatdown,atthegreatestpossibledistancefromtheslightremainsofMr.Woodhouse\'sfire,lookingverydeplorable.

`Youwillsoonbecooler,ifyousitstill,\'saidEmma.

`AssoonasIamcoolerIshallgobackagain.Icouldveryillbespared-butsuchapointhadbeenmadeofmycoming!YouwillallbegoingsoonIsuppose;thewholepartybreakingup.ImetoneasIcame-Madnessinsuchweather!-absolutemadness!\'

Emmalistened,andlooked,andsoonperceivedthatFrankChurchill\'sstatemightbebestdefinedbytheexpressivephraseofbeingoutofhumour.Somepeoplewerealwayscrosswhentheywerehot.Suchmightbehisconstitution;andassheknewthateatinganddrinkingwereoftenthecureofsuchincidentalcomplaints,sherecommendedhistakingsomerefreshment;hewouldfindabundanceofeverythinginthedining-room-andshehumanelypointedoutthedoor.

`No-heshouldnoteat.Hewasnothungry;itwouldonlymakehimhotter.\'Intwominutes,however,herelentedinhisownfavour;andmutteringsomethingaboutspruce-beer,walkedoff.Emmareturnedallherattentiontoherfather,sayinginsecret-

`IamgladIhavedonebeinginlovewithhim.Ishouldnotlikeamanwhoissosoondiscomposedbyahotmorning.Harriet\'ssweeteasytemperwillnotmindit.\'

Hewasgonelongenoughtohavehadaverycomfortablemeal,andcamebackallthebetter-grownquitecool-and,withgoodmanners,likehimself-abletodrawachairclosetothem,takeaninterestintheiremployment;andregret,inareasonableway,thatheshouldbesolate.Hewasnotinhisbestspirits,butseemedtryingtoimprovethem;and,atlast,madehimselftalknonsenseveryagreeably.TheywerelookingoverviewsinSwisserland.

`Assoonasmyauntgetswell,Ishallgoabroad,\'saidhe.`IshallneverbeeasytillIhaveseensomeoftheseplaces.Youwillhavemysketches,sometimeorother,tolookat-ormytourtoread-ormypoem.Ishalldosomethingtoexposemyself.\'

`Thatmaybe-butnotbysketchesinSwisserland.YouwillnevergotoSwisserland.YouruncleandauntwillneverallowyoutoleaveEngland.\'

`Theymaybeinducedtogotoo.Awarmclimatemaybeprescribedforher.Ihavemorethanhalfanexpectationofourallgoingabroad.IassureyouIhave.Ifeelastrongpersuasion,thismorning,thatIshallsoonbeabroad.Ioughttotravel.Iamtiredofdoingnothing.Iwantachange.Iamserious,MissWoodhouse,whateveryourpenetratingeyesmayfancy-IamsickofEngland-andwouldleaveitto-morrow,ifIcould.\'

`Youaresickofprosperityandindulgence.Cannotyouinventafewhardshipsforyourself,andbecontentedtostay?\'

`Isickofprosperityandindulgence!Youarequitemistaken.Idonotlookuponmyselfaseitherprosperousorindulged.Iamthwartedineverythingmaterial.Idonotconsidermyselfatallafortunateperson.\'

`Youarenotquitesomiserable,though,aswhenyoufirstcame.Goandeatanddrinkalittlemore,andyouwilldoverywell.Anothersliceofcoldmeat,anotherdraughtofMadeiraandwater,willmakeyounearlyonaparwiththerestofus.\'

`No-Ishallnotstir.Ishallsitbyyou.Youaremybestcure.\'

`WearegoingtoBoxHillto-morrow;-youwilljoinus.ItisnotSwisserland,butitwillbesomethingforayoungmansomuchinwantofachange.Youwillstay,andgowithus?\'

`No,certainlynot;Ishallgohomeinthecooloftheevening.\'

`Butyoumaycomeagaininthecoolofto-morrowmorning.\'

`No-Itwillnotbeworthwhile.IfIcome,Ishallbecross.\'

`ThenpraystayatRichmond.\'

`ButifIdo,Ishallbecrosserstill.Icanneverbeartothinkofyoualltherewithoutme.\'

`Thesearedifficultieswhichyoumustsettleforyourself.Chuseyourowndegreeofcrossness.Ishallpressyounomore.\'

Therestofthepartywerenowreturning,andallweresooncollected.WithsometherewasgreatjoyatthesightofFrankChurchill;otherstookitverycomposedly;buttherewasaverygeneraldistressanddisturbanceonMissFairfax\'sdisappearancebeingexplained.Thatitwastimeforeverybodytogo,concludedthesubject;andwithashortfinalarrangementforthenextday\'sscheme,theyparted.FrankChurchill\'slittleinclinationtoexcludehimselfincreasedsomuch,thathislastwordstoEmmawere,

`Well;-ifyouwishmetostayandjointheparty,Iwill.\'

Shesmiledheracceptance;andnothinglessthanasummonsfromRichmondwastotakehimbackbeforethefollowingevening.

CHAPTERVII

TheyhadaveryfinedayforBoxHill;andalltheotheroutwardcircumstancesofarrangement,accommodation,andpunctuality,wereinfavourofapleasantparty.Mr.Westondirectedthewhole,officiatingsafelybetweenHartfieldandtheVicarage,andeverybodywasingoodtime.EmmaandHarrietwenttogether;MissBatesandherniece,withtheEltons;thegentlemenonhorseback.Mrs.WestonremainedwithMr.Woodhouse.Nothingwaswantingbuttobehappywhentheygotthere.Sevenmilesweretravelledinexpectationofenjoyment,andeverybodyhadaburstofadmirationonfirstarriving;butinthegeneralamountofthedaytherewasdeficiency.Therewasalanguor,awantofspirits,awantofunion,whichcouldnotbegotover.Theyseparatedtoomuchintoparties.TheEltonswalkedtogether;Mr.KnightleytookchargeofMissBatesandJane;andEmmaandHarrietbelongedtoFrankChurchill.AndMr.Westontried,invain,tomakethemharmonisebetter.Itseemedatfirstanaccidentaldivision,butitnevermateriallyvaried.Mr.andMrs.Elton,indeed,shewednounwillingnesstomix,andbeasagreeableastheycould;butduringthetwowholehoursthatwerespentonthehill,thereseemedaprincipleofseparation,betweentheotherparties,toostrongforanyfineprospects,oranycoldcollation,oranycheerfulMr.Weston,toremove.

AtfirstitwasdownrightdulnesstoEmma.ShehadneverseenFrankChurchillsosilentandstupid.Hesaidnothingworthhearing-lookedwithoutseeing-admiredwithoutintelligence-listenedwithoutknowingwhatshesaid.Whilehewassodull,itwasnowonderthatHarrietshouldbedulllikewise;andtheywerebothinsufferable.

Whentheyallsatdownitwasbetter;tohertasteagreatdealbetter,forFrankChurchillgrewtalkativeandgay,makingherhisfirstobject.Everydistinguishingattentionthatcouldbepaid,waspaidtoher.Toamuseher,andbeagreeableinhereyes,seemedallthathecaredfor-andEmma,gladtobeenlivened,notsorrytobeflattered,wasgayandeasytoo,andgavehimallthefriendlyencouragement,theadmissiontobegallant,whichshehadevergiveninthefirstandmostanimatingperiodoftheiracquaintance;butwhichnow,inherownestimation,meantnothing,thoughinthejudgmentofmostpeoplelookingonitmusthavehadsuchanappearanceasnoEnglishwordbutflirtationcouldverywelldescribe.`Mr.FrankChurchillandMissWoodhouseflirtedtogetherexcessively.\'Theywerelayingthemselvesopentothatveryphrase-andtohavingitsentoffinalettertoMapleGrovebyonelady,toIrelandbyanother.NotthatEmmawasgayandthoughtlessfromanyrealfelicity;itwasratherbecauseshefeltlesshappythanshehadexpected.Shelaughedbecauseshewasdisappointed;andthoughshelikedhimforhisattentions,andthoughtthemall,whetherinfriendship,admiration,orplayfulness,extremelyjudicious,theywerenotwinningbackherheart.Shestillintendedhimforherfriend.

`HowmuchIamobligedtoyou,\'saidhe,`fortellingmetocometo-day!-Ifithadnotbeenforyou,Ishouldcertainlyhavelostallthehappinessofthisparty.Ihadquitedeterminedtogoawayagain.\'

`Yes,youwereverycross;andIdonotknowwhatabout,exceptthatyouweretoolateforthebeststrawberries.Iwasakinderfriendthanyoudeserved.Butyouwerehumble.Youbeggedhardtobecommandedtocome.\'

`Don\'tsayIwascross.Iwasfatigued.Theheatovercameme.\'

`Itishotterto-day.\'

`Nottomyfeelings.Iamperfectlycomfortableto-day.\'

`Youarecomfortablebecauseyouareundercommand.\'

`Yourcommand?-Yes.\'

`PerhapsIintendedyoutosayso,butImeantself-command.Youhad,somehoworother,brokenboundsyesterday,andrunawayfromyourownmanagement;butto-dayyouaregotbackagain-andasIcannotbealwayswithyou,itisbesttobelieveyourtemperunderyourowncommandratherthanmine.\'

`Itcomestothesamething.Icanhavenoself-commandwithoutamotive.Youorderme,whetheryouspeakornot.Andyoucanbealwayswithme.Youarealwayswithme.\'

`Datingfromthreeo\'clockyesterday.Myperpetualinfluencecouldnotbeginearlier,oryouwouldnothavebeensomuchoutofhumourbefore.\'

`Threeo\'clockyesterday!Thatisyourdate.IthoughtIhadseenyoufirstinFebruary.\'

`Yourgallantryisreallyunanswerable.But(loweringhervoice)-nobodyspeaksexceptourselves,anditisrathertoomuchtobetalkingnonsensefortheentertainmentofsevensilentpeople.\'

`IsaynothingofwhichIamashamed,\'repliedhe,withlivelyimpudence.`IsawyoufirstinFebruary.LeteverybodyontheHillhearmeiftheycan.LetmyaccentsswelltoMicklehamononeside,andDorkingontheother.IsawyoufirstinFebruary.\'Andthenwhispering-`Ourcompanionsareexcessivelystupid.Whatshallwedotorousethem?Anynonsensewillserve.Theyshalltalk.Ladiesandgentlemen,IamorderedbyMissWoodhouse(who,whereversheis,presides)tosay,thatshedesirestoknowwhatyouareallthinkingof?\'

Somelaughed,andansweredgood-humouredly.MissBatessaidagreatdeal;Mrs.EltonswelledattheideaofMissWoodhouse\'spresiding;Mr.Knightley\'sanswerwasthemostdistinct.

`IsMissWoodhousesurethatshewouldliketohearwhatweareallthinkingof?\'

`Oh!no,no\'-criedEmma,laughingascarelesslyasshecould-`Uponnoaccountintheworld.ItistheverylastthingIwouldstandthebruntofjustnow.Letmehearanythingratherthanwhatyouareallthinkingof.Iwillnotsayquiteall.Thereareoneortwo,perhaps,(glancingatMr.WestonandHarriet,)whosethoughtsImightnotbeafraidofknowing.\'

`Itisasortofthing,\'criedMrs.Eltonemphatically,`whichIshouldnothavethoughtmyselfprivilegedtoinquireinto.Though,perhaps,astheChaperonoftheparty-Ineverwasinanycircle-exploringparties-youngladies-marriedwomen-\'

Hermutteringswerechieflytoherhusband;andhemurmured,inreply,

`Verytrue,mylove,verytrue.Exactlyso,indeed-quiteunheardof-butsomeladiessayanything.Betterpassitoffasajoke.Everybodyknowswhatisduetoyou.\'

`Itwillnotdo,\'whisperedFranktoEmma;`theyaremostofthemaffronted.Iwillattackthemwithmoreaddress.Ladiesandgentlemen-IamorderedbyMissWoodhousetosay,thatshewaivesherrightofknowingexactlywhatyoumayallbethinkingof,andonlyrequiressomethingveryentertainingfromeachofyou,inageneralway.Herearesevenofyou,besidesmyself,(who,sheispleasedtosay,amveryentertainingalready,)andsheonlydemandsfromeachofyoueitheronethingveryclever,beitproseorverse,originalorrepeated-ortwothingsmoderatelyclever-orthreethingsverydullindeed,andsheengagestolaughheartilyatthemall.\'

`Oh!verywell,\'exclaimedMissBates,`thenIneednotbeuneasy.``Threethingsverydullindeed.\'\'Thatwilljustdoforme,youknow.IshallbesuretosaythreedullthingsassoonaseverIopenmymouth,shan\'tI?(lookingroundwiththemostgood-humoureddependenceoneverybody\'sassent)-DonotyouallthinkIshall?\'

Emmacouldnotresist.

`Ah!ma\'am,buttheremaybeadifficulty.Pardonme-butyouwillbelimitedastonumber-onlythreeatonce.\'

MissBates,deceivedbythemockceremonyofhermanner,didnotimmediatelycatchhermeaning;but,whenitburstonher,itcouldnotanger,thoughaslightblushshewedthatitcouldpainher.

`Ah!-well-tobesure.Yes,Iseewhatshemeans,(turningtoMr.Knightley,)andIwilltrytoholdmytongue.Imustmakemyselfverydisagreeable,orshewouldnothavesaidsuchathingtoanoldfriend.\'

`Ilikeyourplan,\'criedMr.Weston.`Agreed,agreed.Iwilldomybest.Iammakingaconundrum.Howwillaconundrumreckon?\'

`Low,Iamafraid,sir,verylow,\'answeredhisson;-`butweshallbeindulgent-especiallytoanyonewholeadstheway.\'

`No,no,\'saidEmma,`itwillnotreckonlow.AconundrumofMr.Weston\'sshallclearhimandhisnextneighbour.Come,sir,prayletmehearit.\'

`Idoubtitsbeingveryclevermyself,\'saidMr.Weston.`Itistoomuchamatteroffact,buthereitis-Whattwolettersofthealphabetarethere,thatexpressperfection?\'

`Whattwoletters!-expressperfection!IamsureIdonotknow.\'

`Ah!youwillneverguess.You,(toEmma),Iamcertain,willneverguess-Iwilltellyou-M.andA-Em-ma-Doyouunderstand?\'

Understandingandgratificationcametogether.Itmightbeaveryindifferentpieceofwit,butEmmafoundagreatdealtolaughatandenjoyinit-andsodidFrankandHarriet-Itdidnotseemtotouchtherestofthepartyequally;somelookedverystupidaboutit,andMr.Knightleygravelysaid,

`Thisexplainsthesortofcleverthingthatiswanted,andMr.Westonhasdoneverywellforhimself;buthemusthaveknockedupeverybodyelse.Perfectionshouldnothavecomequitesosoon.\'

`Oh!formyself,IprotestImustbeexcused,\'saidMrs.Elton;`Ireallycannotattempt-Iamnotatallfondofthesortofthing.Ihadanacrosticoncesenttomeuponmyownname,whichIwasnotatallpleasedwith.Iknewwhoitcamefrom.Anabominablepuppy!-YouknowwhoImean(noddingtoherhusband).ThesekindofthingsareverywellatChristmas,whenoneissittingroundthefire;butquiteoutofplace,inmyopinion,whenoneisexploringaboutthecountryinsummer.MissWoodhousemustexcuseme.Iamnotoneofthosewhohavewittythingsateverybody\'sservice.Idonotpretendtobeawit.Ihaveagreatdealofvivacityinmyownway,butIreallymustbeallowedtojudgewhentospeakandwhentoholdmytongue.Passus,ifyouplease,Mr.Churchill.PassMr.E.,Knightley,Jane,andmyself.Wehavenothingclevertosay-notoneofus.

`Yes,yes,praypassme,\'addedherhusband,withasortofsneeringconsciousness;`IhavenothingtosaythatcanentertainMissWoodhouse,oranyotheryounglady.Anoldmarriedman-quitegoodfornothing.Shallwewalk,Augusta?\'

`Withallmyheart.Iamreallytiredofexploringsolongononespot.Come,Jane,takemyotherarm.\'

Janedeclinedit,however,andthehusbandandwifewalkedoff.`Happycouple!\'saidFrankChurchill,assoonastheywereoutofhearing:-`Howwelltheysuitoneanother!-Verylucky-marryingastheydid,uponanacquaintanceformedonlyinapublicplace!-Theyonlykneweachother,Ithink,afewweeksinBath!Peculiarlylucky!-forastoanyrealknowledgeofaperson\'sdispositionthatBath,oranypublicplace,cangive-itisallnothing;therecanbenoknowledge.Itisonlybyseeingwomenintheirownhomes,amongtheirownset,justastheyalwaysare,thatyoucanformanyjustjudgment.Shortofthat,itisallguessandluck-andwillgenerallybeill-luck.Howmanyamanhascommittedhimselfonashortacquaintance,andrueditalltherestofhislife!\'

MissFairfax,whohadseldomspokenbefore,exceptamongherownconfederates,spokenow.

`Suchthingsdooccur,undoubtedly.\'-Shewasstoppedbyacough.FrankChurchillturnedtowardshertolisten.

`Youwerespeaking,\'saidhe,gravely.Sherecoveredhervoice.

`Iwasonlygoingtoobserve,thatthoughsuchunfortunatecircumstancesdosometimesoccurbothtomenandwomen,Icannotimaginethemtobeveryfrequent.Ahastyandimprudentattachmentmayarise-butthereisgenerallytimetorecoverfromitafterwards.Iwouldbeunderstoodtomean,thatitcanbeonlyweak,irresolutecharacters,(whosehappinessmustbealwaysatthemercyofchance,)whowillsufferanunfortunateacquaintancetobeaninconvenience,anoppressionforever.\'

Hemadenoanswer;merelylooked,andbowedinsubmission;andsoonafterwardssaid,inalivelytone,

`Well,Ihavesolittleconfidenceinmyownjudgment,thatwheneverImarry,Ihopesomebodywillchusemywifeforme.Willyou?(turningtoEmma.)Willyouchuseawifeforme?-IamsureIshouldlikeanybodyfixedonbyyou.Youprovideforthefamily,youknow,(withasmileathisfather).Findsomebodyforme.Iaminnohurry.Adopther,educateher.\'

`Andmakeherlikemyself.\'

`Byallmeans,ifyoucan.\'

`Verywell.Iundertakethecommission.Youshallhaveacharmingwife.\'

`Shemustbeverylively,andhavehazleeyes.Icarefornothingelse.Ishallgoabroadforacoupleofyears-andwhenIreturn,Ishallcometoyouformywife.Remember.\'

Emmawasinnodangerofforgetting.Itwasacommissiontotoucheveryfavouritefeeling.WouldnotHarrietbetheverycreaturedescribed?Hazleeyesexcepted,twoyearsmoremightmakeherallthathewished.HemightevenhaveHarrietinhisthoughtsatthemoment;whocouldsay?Referringtheeducationtoherseemedtoimplyit.

`Now,ma\'am,\'saidJanetoheraunt,`shallwejoinMrs.Elton?\'

`Ifyouplease,mydear.Withallmyheart.Iamquiteready.Iwasreadytohavegonewithher,butthiswilldojustaswell.Weshallsoonovertakeher.Theresheis-no,that\'ssomebodyelse.That\'soneoftheladiesintheIrishcarparty,notatalllikeher-Well,Ideclare-\'

Theywalkedoff,followedinhalfaminutebyMr.Knightley.Mr.Weston,hisson,Emma,andHarriet,onlyremained;andtheyoungman\'sspiritsnowrosetoapitchalmostunpleasant.EvenEmmagrewtiredatlastofflatteryandmerriment,andwishedherselfratherwalkingquietlyaboutwithanyoftheothers,orsittingalmostalone,andquiteunattendedto,intranquilobservationofthebeautifulviewsbeneathher.Theappearanceoftheservantslookingoutforthemtogivenoticeofthecarriageswasajoyfulsight;andeventhebustleofcollectingandpreparingtodepart,andthesolicitudeofMrs.Eltontohavehercarriagefirst,weregladlyendured,intheprospectofthequietdrivehomewhichwastoclosetheveryquestionableenjoymentsofthisdayofpleasure.Suchanotherscheme,composedofsomanyill-assortedpeople,shehopednevertobebetrayedintoagain.

Whilewaitingforthecarriage,shefoundMr.Knightleybyherside.Helookedaround,asiftoseethatnoonewerenear,andthensaid,

`Emma,ImustoncemorespeaktoyouasIhavebeenusedtodo:aprivilegeratherenduredthanallowed,perhaps,butImuststilluseit.Icannotseeyouactingwrong,withoutaremonstrance.HowcouldyoubesounfeelingtoMissBates?Howcouldyoubesoinsolentinyourwittoawomanofhercharacter,age,andsituation?-Emma,Ihadnotthoughtitpossible.\'

Emmarecollected,blushed,wassorry,buttriedtolaughitoff.

`Nay,howcouldIhelpsayingwhatIdid?-Nobodycouldhavehelpedit.Itwasnotsoverybad.Idaresayshedidnotunderstandme.\'

`Iassureyoushedid.Shefeltyourfullmeaning.Shehastalkedofitsince.Iwishyoucouldhaveheardhowshetalkedofit-withwhatcandourandgenerosity.Iwishyoucouldhaveheardherhonouringyourforbearance,inbeingabletopayhersuchattentions,asshewasforeverreceivingfromyourselfandyourfather,whenhersocietymustbesoirksome.\'

`Oh!\'criedEmma,`Iknowthereisnotabettercreatureintheworld:butyoumustallow,thatwhatisgoodandwhatisridiculousaremostunfortunatelyblendedinher.\'

`Theyareblended,\'saidhe,`Iacknowledge;and,weresheprosperous,Icouldallowmuchfortheoccasionalprevalenceoftheridiculousoverthegood.Weresheawomanoffortune,Iwouldleaveeveryharmlessabsurditytotakeitschance,Iwouldnotquarrelwithyouforanylibertiesofmanner.Weresheyourequalinsituation-but,Emma,considerhowfarthisisfrombeingthecase.Sheispoor;shehassunkfromthecomfortsshewasbornto;and,ifshelivetooldage,mustprobablysinkmore.Hersituationshouldsecureyourcompassion.Itwasbadlydone,indeed!You,whomshehadknownfromaninfant,whomshehadseengrowupfromaperiodwhenhernoticewasanhonour,tohaveyounow,inthoughtlessspirits,andtheprideofthemoment,laughather,humbleher-andbeforeherniece,too-andbeforeothers,manyofwhom(certainlysome,)wouldbeentirelyguidedbyyourtreatmentofher-Thisisnotpleasanttoyou,Emma-anditisveryfarfrompleasanttome;butImust,Iwill,-IwilltellyoutruthswhileIcan;satisfiedwithprovingmyselfyourfriendbyveryfaithfulcounsel,andtrustingthatyouwillsometimeorotherdomegreaterjusticethanyoucandonow.\'

Whiletheytalked,theywereadvancingtowardsthecarriage;itwasready;and,beforeshecouldspeakagain,hehadhandedherin.Hehadmisinterpretedthefeelingswhichhadkeptherfaceaverted,andhertonguemotionless.Theywerecombinedonlyofangeragainstherself,mortification,anddeepconcern.Shehadnotbeenabletospeak;and,onenteringthecarriage,sunkbackforamomentovercome-thenreproachingherselfforhavingtakennoleave,makingnoacknowledgment,partinginapparentsullenness,shelookedoutwithvoiceandhandeagertoshewadifference;butitwasjusttoolate.Hehadturnedaway,andthehorseswereinmotion.Shecontinuedtolookback,butinvain;andsoon,withwhatappearedunusualspeed,theywerehalfwaydownthehill,andeverythingleftfarbehind.Shewasvexedbeyondwhatcouldhavebeenexpressed-almostbeyondwhatshecouldconceal.Neverhadshefeltsoagitated,mortified,grieved,atanycircumstanceinherlife.Shewasmostforciblystruck.Thetruthofthisrepresentationtherewasnodenying.Shefeltitatherheart.Howcouldshehavebeensobrutal,socrueltoMissBates!Howcouldshehaveexposedherselftosuchillopinioninanyoneshevalued!Andhowsufferhimtoleaveherwithoutsayingonewordofgratitude,ofconcurrence,ofcommonkindness!

Timedidnotcomposeher.Asshereflectedmore,sheseemedbuttofeelitmore.Sheneverhadbeensodepressed.Happilyitwasnotnecessarytospeak.TherewasonlyHarriet,whoseemednotinspiritsherself,fagged,andverywillingtobesilent;andEmmafeltthetearsrunningdownhercheeksalmostallthewayhome,withoutbeingatanytroubletocheckthem,extraordinaryastheywere.

CHAPTERVIII

ThewretchednessofaschemetoBoxHillwasinEmma\'sthoughtsalltheevening.Howitmightbeconsideredbytherestoftheparty,shecouldnottell.They,intheirdifferenthomes,andtheirdifferentways,mightbelookingbackonitwithpleasure;butinherviewitwasamorningmorecompletelymisspent,moretotallybareofrationalsatisfactionatthetime,andmoretobeabhorredinrecollection,thananyshehadeverpassed.Awholeeveningofback-gammonwithherfather,wasfelicitytoit.There,indeed,layrealpleasure,forthereshewasgivingupthesweetesthoursofthetwenty-fourtohiscomfort;andfeelingthat,unmeritedasmightbethedegreeofhisfondaffectionandconfidingesteem,shecouldnot,inhergeneralconduct,beopentoanyseverereproach.Asadaughter,shehopedshewasnotwithoutaheart.Shehopednoonecouldhavesaidtoher,`Howcouldyoubesounfeelingtoyourfather?-Imust,IwilltellyoutruthswhileIcan.\'MissBatesshouldneveragain-no,never!Ifattention,infuture,coulddoawaythepast,shemighthopetobeforgiven.Shehadbeenoftenremiss,herconsciencetoldherso;remiss,perhaps,moreinthoughtthanfact;scornful,ungracious.Butitshouldbesonomore.Inthewarmthoftruecontrition,shewouldcalluponhertheverynextmorning,anditshouldbethebeginning,onherside,ofaregular,equal,kindlyintercourse.

Shewasjustasdeterminedwhenthemorrowcame,andwentearly,thatnothingmightpreventher.Itwasnotunlikely,shethought,thatshemightseeMr.Knightleyinherway;or,perhaps,hemightcomeinwhileshewerepayinghervisit.Shehadnoobjection.Shewouldnotbeashamedoftheappearanceofthepenitence,sojustlyandtrulyhers.HereyesweretowardsDonwellasshewalked,butshesawhimnot.

`Theladieswereallathome.\'Shehadneverrejoicedatthesoundbefore,noreverbeforeenteredthepassage,norwalkedupthestairs,withanywishofgivingpleasure,butinconferringobligation,orofderivingit,exceptinsubsequentridicule.

Therewasabustleonherapproach;agooddealofmovingandtalking.SheheardMissBates\'svoice,somethingwastobedoneinahurry;themaidlookedfrightenedandawkward;hopedshewouldbepleasedtowaitamoment,andthenusheredherintoosoon.Theauntandnieceseemedbothescapingintotheadjoiningroom.Janeshehadadistinctglimpseof,lookingextremelyill;and,beforethedoorhadshutthemout,sheheardMissBatessaying,`Well,mydear,Ishallsayyouarelaiddownuponthebed,andIamsureyouareillenough.\'

PooroldMrs.Bates,civilandhumbleasusual,lookedasifshedidnotquiteunderstandwhatwasgoingon.

`IamafraidJaneisnotverywell,\'saidshe,`butIdonotknow;theytellmesheiswell.Idaresaymydaughterwillbeherepresently,MissWoodhouse.Ihopeyoufindachair.IwishHettyhadnotgone.Iamverylittleable-Haveyouachair,ma\'am?Doyousitwhereyoulike?Iamsureshewillbeherepresently.\'

Emmaseriouslyhopedshewould.Shehadamoment\'sfearofMissBateskeepingawayfromher.ButMissBatessooncame-`Veryhappyandobliged\'-butEmma\'sconsciencetoldherthattherewasnotthesamecheerfulvolubilityasbefore-lesseaseoflookandmanner.AveryfriendlyinquiryafterMissFairfax,shehoped,mightleadthewaytoareturnofoldfeelings.Thetouchseemedimmediate.

`Ah!MissWoodhouse,howkindyouare!-Isupposeyouhaveheard-andarecometogiveusjoy.Thisdoesnotseemmuchlikejoy,indeed,inme-(twinklingawayatearortwo)-butitwillbeverytryingforustopartwithher,afterhavinghadhersolong,andshehasadreadfulheadachjustnow,writingallthemorning:-suchlongletters,youknow,tobewrittentoColonelCampbell,andMrs.Dixon.``Mydear,\'\'saidI,``youwillblindyourself\'\'-fortearswereinhereyesperpetually.Onecannotwonder,onecannotwonder.Itisagreatchange;andthoughsheisamazinglyfortunate-suchasituation,Isuppose,asnoyoungwomanbeforeevermetwithonfirstgoingout-donotthinkusungrateful,MissWoodhouse,forsuchsurprisinggoodfortune-(againdispersinghertears)-but,poordearsoul!ifyouweretoseewhataheadacheshehas.Whenoneisingreatpain,youknowonecannotfeelanyblessingquiteasitmaydeserve.Sheisaslowaspossible.Tolookather,nobodywouldthinkhowdelightedandhappysheistohavesecuredsuchasituation.Youwillexcusehernotcomingtoyou-sheisnotable-sheisgoneintoherownroom-Iwanthertoliedownuponthebed.``Mydear,\'\'saidI,``Ishallsayyouarelaiddownuponthebed:\'\'but,however,sheisnot;sheiswalkingabouttheroom.But,nowthatshehaswrittenherletters,shesayssheshallsoonbewell.Shewillbeextremelysorrytomissseeingyou,MissWoodhouse,butyourkindnesswillexcuseher.Youwerekeptwaitingatthedoor-Iwasquiteashamed-butsomehowtherewasalittlebustle-foritsohappenedthatwehadnotheardtheknock,andtillyouwereonthestairs,wedidnotknowanybodywascoming.``ItisonlyMrs.Cole,\'\'saidI,``dependuponit.Nobodyelsewouldcomesoearly.\'\'``Well,\'\'saidshe,``itmustbebornesometimeorother,anditmayaswellbenow.\'\'ButthenPattycamein,andsaiditwasyou.``Oh!\'\'saidI,``itisMissWoodhouse:Iamsureyouwillliketoseeher.\'\'-``Icanseenobody,\'\'saidshe;andupshegot,andwouldgoaway;andthatwaswhatmadeuskeepyouwaiting-andextremelysorryandashamedwewere.``Ifyoumustgo,mydear,\'\'saidI,``youmust,andIwillsayyouarelaiddownuponthebed.\'\'\'

Emmawasmostsincerelyinterested.HerhearthadbeenlonggrowingkindertowardsJane;andthispictureofherpresentsufferingsactedasacureofeveryformerungeneroussuspicion,andlefthernothingbutpity;andtheremembranceofthelessjustandlessgentlesensationsofthepast,obligedhertoadmitthatJanemightverynaturallyresolveonseeingMrs.Coleoranyothersteadyfriend,whenshemightnotbeartoseeherself.Shespokeasshefelt,withearnestregretandsolicitude-sincerelywishingthatthecircumstanceswhichshecollectedfromMissBatestobenowactuallydeterminedon,mightbeasmuchforMissFairfax\'sadvantageandcomfortaspossible.`Itmustbeaseveretrialtothemall.ShehadunderstooditwastobedelayedtillColonelCampbell\'sreturn.\'

`Soverykind!`repliedMissBates.`Butyouarealwayskind.\'

Therewasnobearingsuchan`always;\'andtobreakthroughherdreadfulgratitude,Emmamadethedirectinquiryof-

`Where-mayIask?-isMissFairfaxgoing?\'

`ToaMrs.Smallridge-charmingwoman-mostsuperior-tohavethechargeofherthreelittlegirls-delightfulchildren.Impossiblethatanysituationcouldbemorerepletewithcomfort;ifweexcept,perhaps,Mrs.Suckling\'sownfamily,andMrs.Bragge\'s;butMrs.Smallridgeisintimatewithboth,andintheverysameneighbourhood:-livesonlyfourmilesfromMapleGrove.JanewillbeonlyfourmilesfromMapleGrove.\'

`Mrs.Elton,Isuppose,hasbeenthepersontowhomMissFairfaxowes-\'

`Yes,ourgoodMrs.Elton.Themostindefatigable,truefriend.Shewouldnottakeadenial.ShewouldnotletJanesay,``No;\'\'forwhenJanefirstheardofit,(itwasthedaybeforeyesterday,theverymorningwewereatDonwell,)