第14章

Emmafounditreallytimetobeathome;thevisithadalreadylastedlong;andonexaminingwatches,somuchofthemorningwasperceivedtobegone,thatMrs.Westonandhercompaniontakingleavealso,couldallowthemselvesonlytowalkwiththetwoyoungladiestoHartfieldgates,beforetheysetoffforRandalls.

CHAPTERXI

Itmaybepossibletodowithoutdancingentirely.Instanceshavebeenknownofyoungpeoplepassingmany,manymonthssuccessively,withoutbeingatanyballofanydescription,andnomaterialinjuryaccrueeithertobodyormind;-butwhenabeginningismade-whenthefelicitiesofrapidmotionhaveoncebeen,thoughslightly,felt-itmustbeaveryheavysetthatdoesnotaskformore.

FrankChurchillhaddancedonceatHighbury,andlongedtodanceagain;andthelasthalf-hourofaneveningwhichMr.WoodhousewaspersuadedtospendwithhisdaughteratRandalls,waspassedbythetwoyoungpeopleinschemesonthesubject.Frank\'swasthefirstidea;andhisthegreatestzealinpursuingit;fortheladywasthebestjudgeofthedifficulties,andthemostsolicitousforaccommodationandappearance.ButstillshehadinclinationenoughforshewingpeopleagainhowdelightfullyMr.FrankChurchillandMissWoodhousedanced-fordoingthatinwhichsheneednotblushtocompareherselfwithJaneFairfax-andevenforsimpledancingitself,withoutanyofthewickedaidsofvanity-toassisthimfirstinpacingouttheroomtheywereintoseewhatitcouldbemadetohold-andthenintakingthedimensionsoftheotherparlour,inthehopeofdiscovering,inspiteofallthatMr.Westoncouldsayoftheirexactlyequalsize,thatitwasalittlethelargest.

Hisfirstpropositionandrequest,thatthedancebegunatMr.Cole\'sshouldbefinishedthere-thatthesamepartyshouldbecollected,andthesamemusicianengaged,metwiththereadiestacquiescence.Mr.Westonenteredintotheideawiththoroughenjoyment,andMrs.Westonmostwillinglyundertooktoplayaslongastheycouldwishtodance;andtheinterestingemploymenthadfollowed,ofreckoningupexactlywhotherewouldbe,andportioningouttheindispensabledivisionofspacetoeverycouple.

`YouandMissSmith,andMissFairfax,willbethree,andthetwoMissCoxesfive,\'hadbeenrepeatedmanytimesover.`AndtherewillbethetwoGilberts,youngCox,myfather,andmyself,besidesMr.Knightley.Yes,thatwillbequiteenoughforpleasure.YouandMissSmith,andMissFairfax,willbethree,andthetwoMissCoxesfive;andforfivecoupletherewillbeplentyofroom.\'

Butsoonitcametobeononeside,

`Butwilltherebegoodroomforfivecouple?-Ireallydonotthinktherewill.\'

Onanother,

`Andafterall,fivecouplearenotenoughtomakeitworthwhiletostandup.Fivecouplearenothing,whenonethinksseriouslyaboutit.Itwillnotdotoinvitefivecouple.Itcanbeallowableonlyasthethoughtofthemoment.\'

SomebodysaidthatMissGilbertwasexpectedatherbrother\'s,andmustbeinvitedwiththerest.SomebodyelsebelievedMrs.Gilbertwouldhavedancedtheotherevening,ifshehadbeenasked.AwordwasputinforasecondyoungCox;andatlast,Mr.Westonnamingonefamilyofcousinswhomustbeincluded,andanotherofveryoldacquaintancewhocouldnotbeleftout,itbecameacertaintythatthefivecouplewouldbeatleastten,andaveryinterestingspeculationinwhatpossiblemannertheycouldbedisposedof.

Thedoorsofthetworoomswerejustoppositeeachother.`Mightnottheyusebothrooms,anddanceacrossthepassage?\'Itseemedthebestscheme;andyetitwasnotsogoodbutthatmanyofthemwantedabetter.Emmasaiditwouldbeawkward;Mrs.Westonwasindistressaboutthesupper;andMr.Woodhouseopposeditearnestly,onthescoreofhealth.Itmadehimsoveryunhappy,indeed,thatitcouldnotbeperseveredin.

`Oh!no,\'saidhe;`itwouldbetheextremeofimprudence.IcouldnotbearitforEmma!-Emmaisnotstrong.Shewouldcatchadreadfulcold.SowouldpoorlittleHarriet.Soyouwouldall.Mrs.Weston,youwouldbequitelaidup;donotletthemtalkofsuchawildthing.Praydonotletthemtalkofit.Thatyoungman(speakinglower)isverythoughtless.Donottellhisfather,butthatyoungmanisnotquitethething.Hehasbeenopeningthedoorsveryoftenthisevening,andkeepingthemopenveryinconsiderately.Hedoesnotthinkofthedraught.Idonotmeantosetyouagainsthim,butindeedheisnotquitethething!\'

Mrs.Westonwassorryforsuchacharge.Sheknewtheimportanceofit,andsaideverythinginherpowertodoitaway.Everydoorwasnowclosed,thepassageplangivenup,andthefirstschemeofdancingonlyintheroomtheywereinresortedtoagain;andwithsuchgood-willonFrankChurchill\'spart,thatthespacewhichaquarterofanhourbeforehadbeendeemedbarelysufficientforfivecouple,wasnowendeavouredtobemadeoutquiteenoughforten.

`Weweretoomagnificent,\'saidhe.`Weallowedunnecessaryroom.Tencouplemaystandhereverywell.\'

Emmademurred.`Itwouldbeacrowd-asadcrowd;andwhatcouldbeworsethandancingwithoutspacetoturnin?\'

`Verytrue,\'hegravelyreplied;`itwasverybad.\'Butstillhewentonmeasuring,andstillheendedwith,

`Ithinktherewillbeverytolerableroomfortencouple.\'

`No,no,\'saidshe,`youarequiteunreasonable.Itwouldbedreadfultobestandingsoclose!Nothingcanbefartherfrompleasurethantobedancinginacrowd-andacrowdinalittleroom!\'

`Thereisnodenyingit,\'hereplied.`Iagreewithyouexactly.Acrowdinalittleroom-MissWoodhouse,youhavetheartofgivingpicturesinafewwords.Exquisite,quiteexquisite!-Still,however,havingproceededsofar,oneisunwillingtogivethematterup.Itwouldbeadisappointmenttomyfather-andaltogether-Idonotknowthat-Iamratherofopinionthattencouplemightstandhereverywell.\'

Emmaperceivedthatthenatureofhisgallantrywasalittleself-willed,andthathewouldratheropposethanlosethepleasureofdancingwithher;butshetookthecompliment,andforgavetherest.Hadsheintendedevertomarryhim,itmighthavebeenworthwhiletopauseandconsider,andtrytounderstandthevalueofhispreference,andthecharacterofhistemper;butforallthepurposesoftheiracquaintance,hewasquiteamiableenough.

Beforethemiddleofthenextday,hewasatHartfield;andheenteredtheroomwithsuchanagreeablesmileascertifiedthecontinuanceofthescheme.Itsoonappearedthathecametoannounceanimprovement.

`Well,MissWoodhouse,\'healmostimmediatelybegan,`yourinclinationfordancinghasnotbeenquitefrightenedaway,Ihope,bytheterrorsofmyfather\'slittlerooms.Ibringanewproposalonthesubject:-athoughtofmyfather\'s,whichwaitsonlyyourapprobationtobeactedupon.MayIhopeforthehonourofyourhandforthetwofirstdancesofthislittleprojectedball,tobegiven,notatRandalls,butattheCrownInn?\'

`TheCrown!\'

`Yes;ifyouandMr.Woodhouseseenoobjection,andItrustyoucannot,myfatherhopeshisfriendswillbesokindastovisithimthere.Betteraccommodations,hecanpromisethem,andnotalessgratefulwelcomethanatRandalls.Itishisownidea.Mrs.Westonseesnoobjectiontoit,providedyouaresatisfied.Thisiswhatweallfeel.Oh!youwereperfectlyright!Tencouple,ineitheroftheRandallsrooms,wouldhavebeeninsufferable!-Dreadful!-Ifelthowrightyouwerethewholetime,butwastooanxiousforsecuringanythingtoliketoyield.Isnotitagoodexchange?-Youconsent-Ihopeyouconsent?\'

`Itappearstomeaplanthatnobodycanobjectto,ifMr.andMrs.Westondonot.Ithinkitadmirable;and,asfarasIcananswerformyself,shallbemosthappy-Itseemstheonlyimprovementthatcouldbe.Papa,doyounotthinkitanexcellentimprovement?\'

Shewasobligedtorepeatandexplainit,beforeitwasfullycomprehended;andthen,beingquitenew,fartherrepresentationswerenecessarytomakeitacceptable.

`No;hethoughtitveryfarfromanimprovement-averybadplan-muchworsethantheother.Aroomataninnwasalwaysdampanddangerous;neverproperlyaired,orfittobeinhabited.Iftheymustdance,theyhadbetterdanceatRandalls.HehadneverbeenintheroomattheCrowninhislife-didnotknowthepeoplewhokeptitbysight-Oh!no-averybadplan.TheywouldcatchworsecoldsattheCrownthananywhere.\'

`Iwasgoingtoobserve,sir,\'saidFrankChurchill,`thatoneofthegreatrecommendationsofthischangewouldbetheverylittledangerofanybody\'scatchingcold-somuchlessdangerattheCrownthanatRandalls!Mr.Perrymighthavereasontoregretthealteration,butnobodyelsecould.\'

`Sir,\'saidMr.Woodhouse,ratherwarmly,`youareverymuchmistakenifyousupposeMr.Perrytobethatsortofcharacter.Mr.Perryisextremelyconcernedwhenanyofusareill.ButIdonotunderstandhowtheroomattheCrowncanbesaferforyouthanyourfather\'shouse.\'

`Fromtheverycircumstanceofitsbeinglarger,sir.Weshallhavenooccasiontoopenthewindowsatall-notoncethewholeevening;anditisthatdreadfulhabitofopeningthewindows,lettingincoldairuponheatedbodies,which(asyouwellknow,sir)doesthemischief.\'

`Openthewindows!-butsurely,Mr.Churchill,nobodywouldthinkofopeningthewindowsatRandalls.Nobodycouldbesoimprudent!Ineverheardofsuchathing.Dancingwithopenwindows!-Iamsure,neitheryourfathernorMrs.Weston(poorMissTaylorthatwas)wouldsufferit.\'

`Ah!sir-butathoughtlessyoungpersonwillsometimesstepbehindawindow-curtain,andthrowupasash,withoutitsbeingsuspected.Ihaveoftenknownitdonemyself.\'

`Haveyouindeed,sir?-Blessme!Inevercouldhavesupposedit.ButIliveoutoftheworld,andamoftenastonishedatwhatIhear.However,thisdoesmakeadifference;and,perhaps,whenwecometotalkitover-butthesesortofthingsrequireagooddealofconsideration.Onecannotresolveupontheminahurry.IfMr.andMrs.Westonwillbesoobligingastocallhereonemorning,wemaytalkitover,andseewhatcanbedone.\'

`But,unfortunately,sir,mytimeissolimited-\'

`Oh!\'interruptedEmma,`therewillbeplentyoftimefortalkingeverythingover.Thereisnohurryatall.IfitcanbecontrivedtobeattheCrown,papa,itwillbeveryconvenientforthehorses.Theywillbesoneartheirownstable.\'

`Sotheywill,mydear.Thatisagreatthing.NotthatJamesevercomplains;butitisrighttospareourhorseswhenwecan.IfIcouldbesureoftheroomsbeingthoroughlyaired-butisMrs.Stokestobetrusted?Idoubtit.Idonotknowher,evenbysight.\'

`Icananswerforeverythingofthatnature,sir,becauseitwillbeunderMrs.Weston\'scare.Mrs.Westonundertakestodirectthewhole.\'

`There,papa!-Nowyoumustbesatisfied-OurowndearMrs.Weston,whoiscarefulnessitself.DonotyourememberwhatMr.Perrysaid,somanyyearsago,whenIhadthemeasles?``IfMissTaylorundertakestowrapMissEmmaup,youneednothaveanyfears,sir.\'\'HowoftenhaveIheardyouspeakofitassuchacomplimenttoher!\'

`Aye,verytrue.Mr.Perrydidsayso.Ishallneverforgetit.PoorlittleEmma!Youwereverybadwiththemeasles;thatis,youwouldhavebeenverybad,butforPerry\'sgreatattention.Hecamefourtimesadayforaweek.Hesaid,fromthefirst,itwasaverygoodsort-whichwasourgreatcomfort;butthemeaslesareadreadfulcomplaint.IhopewheneverpoorIsabella\'slittleoneshavethemeasles,shewillsendforPerry.\'

`MyfatherandMrs.WestonareattheCrownatthismoment,\'saidFrankChurchill,`examiningthecapabilitiesofthehouse.IleftthemthereandcameontoHartfield,impatientforyouropinion,andhopingyoumightbepersuadedtojointhemandgiveyouradviceonthespot.Iwasdesiredtosaysofromboth.Itwouldbethegreatestpleasuretothem,ifyoucouldallowmetoattendyouthere.Theycandonothingsatisfactorilywithoutyou.\'

Emmawasmosthappytobecalledtosuchacouncil;andherfather,engagingtothinkitalloverwhileshewasgone,thetwoyoungpeoplesetofftogetherwithoutdelayfortheCrown.TherewereMr.andMrs.Weston;delightedtoseeherandreceiveherapprobation,verybusyandveryhappyintheirdifferentway;she,insomelittledistress;andhe,findingeverythingperfect.

`Emma,\'saidshe,`thispaperisworsethanIexpected.Look!inplacesyouseeitisdreadfullydirty;andthewainscotismoreyellowandforlornthananythingIcouldhaveimagined.\'

`Mydear,youaretooparticular,\'saidherhusband.`Whatdoesallthatsignify?Youwillseenothingofitbycandlelight.ItwillbeascleanasRandallsbycandlelight.Weneverseeanythingofitonourclub-nights.\'

Theladieshereprobablyexchangedlookswhichmeant,`Menneverknowwhenthingsaredirtyornot;\'andthegentlemenperhapsthoughteachtohimself,`Womenwillhavetheirlittlenonsensesandneedlesscares.\'

Oneperplexity,however,arose,whichthegentlemendidnotdisdain.Itregardedasupper-room.Atthetimeoftheballroom\'sbeingbuilt,suppershadnotbeeninquestion;andasmallcard-roomadjoining,wastheonlyaddition.Whatwastobedone?Thiscard-roomwouldbewantedasacard-roomnow;or,ifcardswereconvenientlyvotedunnecessarybytheirfourselves,stillwasitnottoosmallforanycomfortablesupper?Anotherroomofmuchbettersizemightbesecuredforthepurpose;butitwasattheotherendofthehouse,andalongawkwardpassagemustbegonethroughtogetatit.Thismadeadifficulty.Mrs.Westonwasafraidofdraughtsfortheyoungpeopleinthatpassage;andneitherEmmanorthegentlemencouldtoleratetheprospectofbeingmiserablycrowdedatsupper.

Mrs.Westonproposedhavingnoregularsupper;merelysandwiches,&c.,setoutinthelittleroom;butthatwasscoutedasawretchedsuggestion.Aprivatedance,withoutsittingdowntosupper,waspronouncedaninfamousfraudupontherightsofmenandwomen;andMrs.Westonmustnotspeakofitagain.Shethentookanotherlineofexpediency,andlookingintothedoubtfulroom,observed,

`Idonotthinkitissoverysmall.Weshallnotbemany,youknow.\'

AndMr.Westonatthesametime,walkingbrisklywithlongstepsthroughthepassage,wascallingout,

`Youtalkagreatdealofthelengthofthispassage,mydear.Itisamerenothingafterall;andnottheleastdraughtfromthestairs.\'

`Iwish,\'saidMrs.Weston,`onecouldknowwhicharrangementourguestsingeneralwouldlikebest.Todowhatwouldbemostgenerallypleasingmustbeourobject-ifonecouldbuttellwhatthatwouldbe.\'

`Yes,verytrue,\'criedFrank,`verytrue.Youwantyourneighbours\'opinions.Idonotwonderatyou.Ifonecouldascertainwhatthechiefofthem-theColes,forinstance.Theyarenotfaroff.ShallIcalluponthem?OrMissBates?Sheisstillnearer-AndIdonotknowwhetherMissBatesisnotaslikelytounderstandtheinclinationsoftherestofthepeopleasanybody.Ithinkwedowantalargercouncil.SupposeIgoandinviteMissBatestojoinus?\'

`Well-ifyouplease,\'saidMrs.Westonratherhesitating,`ifyouthinkshewillbeofanyuse.\'

`YouwillgetnothingtothepurposefromMissBates,\'saidEmma.`Shewillbealldelightandgratitude,butshewilltellyounothing.Shewillnotevenlistentoyourquestions.IseenoadvantageinconsultingMissBates.\'

`Butsheissoamusing,soextremelyamusing!IamveryfondofhearingMissBatestalk.AndIneednotbringthewholefamily,youknow.\'

HereMr.Westonjoinedthem,andonhearingwhatwasproposed,gaveithisdecidedapprobation.

`Aye,do,Frank-GoandfetchMissBates,andletusendthematteratonce.Shewillenjoythescheme,Iamsure;andIdonotknowapropererpersonforshewingushowtodoawaydifficulties.FetchMissBates.Wearegrowingalittletoonice.Sheisastandinglessonofhowtobehappy.Butfetchthemboth.Invitethemboth.\'

`Bothsir!Cantheoldlady?\'

`Theoldlady!No,theyounglady,tobesure.Ishallthinkyouagreatblockhead,Frank,ifyoubringtheauntwithouttheniece.\'

`Oh!Ibegyourpardon,sir.Ididnotimmediatelyrecollect.Undoubtedlyifyouwishit,Iwillendeavourtopersuadethemboth.\'Andawayheran.

Longbeforehereappeared,attendingtheshort,neat,brisk-movingaunt,andherelegantniece,-Mrs.Weston,likeasweet-temperedwomanandagoodwife,hadexaminedthepassageagain,andfoundtheevilsofitmuchlessthanshehadsupposedbefore-indeedverytrifling;andhereendedthedifficultiesofdecision.Alltherest,inspeculationatleast,wasperfectlysmooth.Alltheminorarrangementsoftableandchair,lightsandmusic,teaandsupper,madethemselves;orwereleftasmeretriflestobesettledatanytimebetweenMrs.WestonandMrs.Stokes-Everybodyinvited,wascertainlytocome;FrankhadalreadywrittentoEnscombetoproposestayingafewdaysbeyondhisfortnight,whichcouldnotpossiblyberefused.Andadelightfuldanceitwastobe.

Mostcordially,whenMissBatesarrived,didsheagreethatitmust.Asacounsellorshewasnotwanted;butasanapprover,(amuchsafercharacter,)shewastrulywelcome.Herapprobation,atoncegeneralandminute,warmandincessant,couldnotbutplease;andforanotherhalf-hourtheywereallwalkingtoandfro,betweenthedifferentrooms,somesuggesting,someattending,andallinhappyenjoymentofthefuture.ThepartydidnotbreakupwithoutEmma\'sbeingpositivelysecuredforthetwofirstdancesbytheherooftheevening,norwithoutheroverhearingMr.Westonwhispertohiswife,`Hehasaskedher,mydear.That\'sright.Iknewhewould!\'

CHAPTERXII

OnethingonlywaswantingtomaketheprospectoftheballcompletelysatisfactorytoEmma-itsbeingfixedforadaywithinthegrantedtermofFrankChurchill\'sstayinSurry;for,inspiteofMr.Weston\'sconfidence,shecouldnotthinkitsoveryimpossiblethattheChurchillsmightnotallowtheirnephewtoremainadaybeyondhisfortnight.Butthiswasnotjudgedfeasible.Thepreparationsmusttaketheirtime,nothingcouldbeproperlyreadytillthethirdweekwereenteredon,andforafewdaystheymustbeplanning,proceedingandhopinginuncertainty-attherisk-inheropinion,thegreatrisk,ofitsbeingallinvain.

Enscombehoweverwasgracious,graciousinfact,ifnotinword.Hiswishofstayinglongerevidentlydidnotplease;butitwasnotopposed.Allwassafeandprosperous;andastheremovalofonesolicitudegenerallymakeswayforanother,Emma,beingnowcertainofherball,begantoadoptasthenextvexationMr.Knightley\'sprovokingindifferenceaboutit.Eitherbecausehedidnotdancehimself,orbecausetheplanhadbeenformedwithouthisbeingconsulted,heseemedresolvedthatitshouldnotinteresthim,determinedagainstitsexcitinganypresentcuriosity,oraffordinghimanyfutureamusement.TohervoluntarycommunicationsEmmacouldgetnomoreapprovingreply,than,

`Verywell.IftheWestonsthinkitworthwhiletobeatallthistroubleforafewhoursofnoisyentertainment,Ihavenothingtosayagainstit,butthattheyshallnotchusepleasuresforme-Oh!yes,Imustbethere;Icouldnotrefuse;andIwillkeepasmuchawakeasIcan;butIwouldratherbeathome,lookingoverWilliamLarkins\'sweek\'saccount;muchrather,Iconfess-Pleasureinseeingdancing!-notI,indeed-Ineverlookatit-Idonotknowwhodoes-Finedancing,Ibelieve,likevirtue,mustbeitsownreward.Thosewhoarestandingbyareusuallythinkingofsomethingverydifferent.\'

ThisEmmafeltwasaimedather;anditmadeherquiteangry.ItwasnotincomplimenttoJaneFairfaxhoweverthathewassoindifferent,orsoindignant;hewasnotguidedbyherfeelingsinreprobatingtheball,forsheenjoyedthethoughtofittoanextraordinarydegree.Itmadeheranimated-openhearted-shevoluntarilysaid;-

`Oh!MissWoodhouse,Ihopenothingmayhappentopreventtheball.Whatadisappointmentitwouldbe!Idolookforwardtoit,Iown,withverygreatpleasure.\'

ItwasnottoobligeJaneFairfaxthereforethathewouldhavepreferredthesocietyofWilliamLarkins.No!-shewasmoreandmoreconvincedthatMrs.Westonwasquitemistakeninthatsurmise.Therewasagreatdealoffriendlyandofcompassionateattachmentonhisside-butnolove.

Alas!therewassoonnoleisureforquarrellingwithMr.Knightley.Twodaysofjoyfulsecuritywereimmediatelyfollowedbytheover-throwofeverything.AletterarrivedfromMr.Churchilltourgehisnephew\'sinstantreturn.Mrs.Churchillwasunwell-fartoounwelltodowithouthim;shehadbeeninaverysufferingstate(sosaidherhusband)whenwritingtohernephewtwodaysbefore,thoughfromherusualunwillingnesstogivepain,andconstanthabitofneverthinkingofherself,shehadnotmentionedit;butnowshewastooilltotrifle,andmustentreathimtosetoffforEnscombewithoutdelay.

ThesubstanceofthisletterwasforwardedtoEmma,inanotefromMrs.Weston,instantly.Astohisgoing,itwasinevitable.Hemustbegonewithinafewhours,thoughwithoutfeelinganyrealalarmforhisaunt,tolessenhisrepugnance.Heknewherillnesses;theyneveroccurredbutforherownconvenience.

Mrs.Westonadded,`thathecouldonlyallowhimselftimetohurrytoHighbury,afterbreakfast,andtakeleaveofthefewfriendstherewhomhecouldsupposetofeelanyinterestinhim;andthathemightbeexpectedatHartfieldverysoon.\'

ThiswretchednotewasthefinaleofEmma\'sbreakfast.Whenonceithadbeenread,therewasnodoinganything,butlamentandexclaim.Thelossoftheball-thelossoftheyoungman-andallthattheyoungmanmightbefeeling!-Itwastoowretched!-Suchadelightfuleveningasitwouldhavebeen!-Everybodysohappy!andsheandherpartnerthehappiest!-`Isaiditwouldbeso,\'wastheonlyconsolation.

Herfather\'sfeelingswerequitedistinct.HethoughtprincipallyofMrs.Churchill\'sillness,andwantedtoknowhowshewastreated;andasfortheball,itwasshockingtohavedearEmmadisappointed;buttheywouldallbesaferathome.

Emmawasreadyforhervisitorsometimebeforeheappeared;butifthisreflectedatalluponhisimpatience,hissorrowfullookandtotalwantofspiritswhenhedidcomemightredeemhim.Hefeltthegoingawayalmosttoomuchtospeakofit.Hisdejectionwasmostevident.Hesatreallylostinthoughtforthefirstfewminutes;andwhenrousinghimself,itwasonlytosay,

`Ofallhorridthings,leave-takingistheworst.\'

`Butyouwillcomeagain,\'saidEmma.`ThiswillnotbeyouronlyvisittoRandalls.\'

`Ah!-(shakinghishead)-theuncertaintyofwhenImaybeabletoreturn!-Ishalltryforitwithazeal!-Itwillbetheobjectofallmythoughtsandcares!-andifmyuncleandauntgototownthisspring-butIamafraid-theydidnotstirlastspring-Iamafraiditisacustomgoneforever.\'

`Ourpoorballmustbequitegivenup.\'

`Ah!thatball!-whydidwewaitforanything?-whynotseizethepleasureatonce?-Howoftenishappinessdestroyedbypreparation,foolishpreparation!-Youtoldusitwouldbeso-Oh!MissWoodhouse,whyareyoualwayssoright?\'

`Indeed,Iamverysorrytoberightinthisinstance.Iwouldmuchratherhavebeenmerrythanwise.\'

`IfIcancomeagain,wearestilltohaveourball.Myfatherdependsonit.Donotforgetyourengagement.\'

Emmalookedgraciously.

`Suchafortnightasithasbeen!\'hecontinued;`everydaymorepreciousandmoredelightfulthanthedaybefore!-everydaymakingmelessfittobearanyotherplace.Happythose,whocanremainatHighbury!\'

`Asyoudoussuchamplejusticenow,\'saidEmma,laughing,`Iwillventuretoask,whetheryoudidnotcomealittledoubtfullyatfirst?Donotwerathersurpassyourexpectations?Iamsurewedo.Iamsureyoudidnotmuchexpecttolikeus.Youwouldnothavebeensolongincoming,ifyouhadhadapleasantideaofHighbury.\'

Helaughedratherconsciously;andthoughdenyingthesentiment,Emmawasconvincedthatithadbeenso.

`Andyoumustbeoffthisverymorning?\'

`Yes;myfatheristojoinmehere:weshallwalkbacktogether,andImustbeoffimmediately.Iamalmostafraidthateverymomentwillbringhim.\'

`NotfiveminutestospareevenforyourfriendsMissFairfaxandMissBates?Howunlucky!MissBates\'spowerful,argumentativemindmighthavestrengthenedyours.\'

`Yes-Ihavecalledthere;passingthedoor,Ithoughtitbetter.Itwasarightthingtodo.Iwentinforthreeminutes,andwasdetainedbyMissBates\'sbeingabsent.Shewasout;andIfeltitimpossiblenottowaittillshecamein.Sheisawomanthatonemay,thatonemustlaughat;butthatonewouldnotwishtoslight.Itwasbettertopaymyvisit,then\'-

Hehesitated,gotup,walkedtoawindow.

`Inshort,\'saidhe,`perhaps,MissWoodhouse-Ithinkyoucanhardlybequitewithoutsuspicion\'-

Helookedather,asifwantingtoreadherthoughts.Shehardlyknewwhattosay.Itseemedliketheforerunnerofsomethingabsolutelyserious,whichshedidnotwish.Forcingherselftospeak,therefore,inthehopeofputtingitby,shecalmlysaid,

`Youarequiteintheright;itwasmostnaturaltopayyourvisit,then\'-

Hewassilent.Shebelievedhewaslookingather;probablyreflectingonwhatshehadsaid,andtryingtounderstandthemanner.Sheheardhimsigh.Itwasnaturalforhimtofeelthathehadcausetosigh.Hecouldnotbelievehertobeencouraginghim.Afewawkwardmomentspassed,andhesatdownagain;andinamoredeterminedmannersaid,

`ItwassomethingtofeelthatalltherestofmytimemightbegiventoHartfield.MyregardforHartfieldismostwarm\'-

Hestoptagain,roseagain,andseemedquiteembarrassed-HewasmoreinlovewithherthanEmmahadsupposed;andwhocansayhowitmighthaveended,ifhisfatherhadnotmadehisappearance?Mr.Woodhousesoonfollowed;andthenecessityofexertionmadehimcomposed.

Averyfewminutesmore,however,completedthepresenttrial.Mr.Weston,alwaysalertwhenbusinesswastobedone,andasincapableofprocrastinatinganyevilthatwasinevitable,asofforeseeinganythatwasdoubtful,said,`Itwastimetogo;\'andtheyoungman,thoughhemightanddidsigh,couldnotbutagree,totakeleave.

`Ishallhearaboutyouall,\'saidhe;thatismychiefconsolation.Ishallhearofeverythingthatisgoingonamongyou.IhaveengagedMrs.Westontocorrespondwithme.Shehasbeensokindastopromiseit.Oh!theblessingofafemalecorrespondent,whenoneisreallyinterestedintheabsent!-shewilltellmeeverything.InherlettersIshallbeatdearHighburyagain.\'

Averyfriendlyshakeofthehand,averyearnest`Good-bye,\'closedthespeech,andthedoorhadsoonshutoutFrankChurchill.Shorthadbeenthenotice-shorttheirmeeting;hewasgone;andEmmafeltsosorrytopart,andforesawsogreatalosstotheirlittlesocietyfromhisabsenceastobegintobeafraidofbeingtoosorry,andfeelingittoomuch.

Itwasasadchange.Theyhadbeenmeetingalmosteverydaysincehisarrival.CertainlyhisbeingatRandallshadgivengreatspirittothelasttwoweeks-indescribablespirit;theidea,theexpectationofseeinghimwhicheverymorninghadbrought,theassuranceofhisattentions,hisliveliness,hismanners!Ithadbeenaveryhappyfortnight,andforlornmustbethesinkingfromitintothecommoncourseofHartfielddays.Tocompleteeveryotherrecommendation,hehadalmosttoldherthathelovedher.Whatstrength,orwhatconstancyofaffectionhemightbesubjectto,wasanotherpoint;butatpresentshecouldnotdoubthishavingadecidedlywarmadmiration,aconsciouspreferenceofherself;andthispersuasion,joinedtoalltherest,madeherthinkthatshemustbealittleinlovewithhim,inspiteofeverypreviousdeterminationagainstit.

`Icertainlymust,\'saidshe.`Thissensationoflistlessness,weariness,stupidity,thisdisinclinationtositdownandemploymyself,thisfeelingofeverything\'sbeingdullandinsipidaboutthehouse!-Imustbeinlove;IshouldbetheoddestcreatureintheworldifIwerenot-forafewweeksatleast.Well!eviltosomeisalwaysgoodtoothers.Ishallhavemanyfellow-mournersfortheball,ifnotforFrankChurchill;butMr.Knightleywillbehappy.HemayspendtheeveningwithhisdearWilliamLarkinsnowifhelikes.\'

Mr.Knightley,however,shewednotriumphanthappiness.Hecouldnotsaythathewassorryonhisownaccount;hisverycheerfullookwouldhavecontradictedhimifhehad;buthesaid,andverysteadily,thathewassorryforthedisappointmentoftheothers,andwithconsiderablekindnessadded,

`You,Emma,whohavesofewopportunitiesofdancing,youarereallyoutofluck;youareverymuchoutofluck!\'

ItwassomedaysbeforeshesawJaneFairfax,tojudgeofherhonestregretinthiswoefulchange;butwhentheydidmeet,hercomposurewasodious.Shehadbeenparticularlyunwell,however,sufferingfromheadachetoadegree,whichmadeherauntdeclare,thathadtheballtakenplace,shedidnotthinkJanecouldhaveattendedit;anditwascharitytoimputesomeofherunbecomingindifferencetothelanguorofill-health.

CHAPTERXIII

Emmacontinuedtoentertainnodoubtofherbeinginlove.Herideasonlyvariedastothehowmuch.Atfirst,shethoughtitwasagooddeal;andafterwards,butlittle.ShehadgreatpleasureinhearingFrankChurchilltalkedof;and,forhissake,greaterpleasurethaneverinseeingMr.andMrs.Weston;shewasveryoftenthinkingofhim,andquiteimpatientforaletter,thatshemightknowhowhewas,howwerehisspirits,howwashisaunt,andwhatwasthechanceofhiscomingtoRandallsagainthisspring.But,ontheotherhand,shecouldnotadmitherselftobeunhappy,nor,afterthefirstmorning,tobelessdisposedforemploymentthanusual;shewasstillbusyandcheerful;and,pleasingashewas,shecouldyetimaginehimtohavefaults;andfarther,thoughthinkingofhimsomuch,and,asshesatdrawingorworking,formingathousandamusingschemesfortheprogressandcloseoftheirattachment,fancyinginterestingdialogues,andinventingelegantletters;theconclusionofeveryimaginarydeclarationonhissidewasthatsherefusedhim.Theiraffectionwasalwaystosubsideintofriendship.Everythingtenderandcharmingwastomarktheirparting;butstilltheyweretopart.Whenshebecamesensibleofthis,itstruckherthatshecouldnotbeverymuchinlove;forinspiteofherpreviousandfixeddeterminationnevertoquitherfather,nevertomarry,astrongattachmentcertainlymustproducemoreofastrugglethanshecouldforeseeinherownfeelings.

`Idonotfindmyselfmakinganyuseofthewordsacrifice,\'saidshe-`Innotoneofallmycleverreplies,mydelicatenegatives,isthereanyallusiontomakingasacrifice.Idosuspectthatheisnotreallynecessarytomyhappiness.Somuchthebetter.IcertainlywillnotpersuademyselftofeelmorethanIdo.Iamquiteenoughinlove.Ishouldbesorrytobemore.\'

Uponthewhole,shewasequallycontentedwithherviewofhisfeelings.

`Heisundoubtedlyverymuchinlove-everythingdenotesit-verymuchinloveindeed!-andwhenhecomesagain,ifhisaffectioncontinue,Imustbeonmyguardnottoencourageit-Itwouldbemostinexcusabletodootherwise,asmyownmindisquitemadeup.NotthatIimaginehecanthinkIhavebeenencouraginghimhitherto.No,ifhehadbelievedmeatalltosharehisfeelings,hewouldnothavebeensowretched.Couldhehavethoughthimselfencouraged,hislooksandlanguageatpartingwouldhavebeendifferent-Still,however,Imustbeonmyguard.Thisisinthesuppositionofhisattachmentcontinuingwhatitnowis;butIdonotknowthatIexpectitwill;Idonotlookuponhimtobequitethesortofman-Idonotaltogetherbuilduponhissteadinessorconstancy-Hisfeelingsarewarm,butIcanimaginethemratherchangeable-Everyconsiderationofthesubject,inshort,makesmethankfulthatmyhappinessisnotmoredeeplyinvolved-Ishalldoverywellagainafteralittlewhile-andthen,itwillbeagoodthingover;fortheysayeverybodyisinloveonceintheirlives,andIshallhavebeenletoffeasily.\'

WhenhislettertoMrs.Westonarrived,Emmahadtheperusalofit;andshereaditwithadegreeofpleasureandadmirationwhichmadeheratfirstshakeherheadoverherownsensations,andthinkshehadundervaluedtheirstrength.Itwasalong,well-writtenletter,givingtheparticularsofhisjourneyandofhisfeelings,expressingalltheaffection,gratitude,andrespectwhichwasnaturalandhonourable,anddescribingeverythingexteriorandlocalthatcouldbesupposedattractive,withspiritandprecision.Nosuspiciousflourishesnowofapologyorconcern;itwasthelanguageofrealfeelingtowardsMrs.Weston;andthetransitionfromHighburytoEnscombe,thecontrastbetweentheplacesinsomeofthefirstblessingsofsociallifewasjustenoughtouchedontoshewhowkeenlyitwasfelt,andhowmuchmoremighthavebeensaidbutfortherestraintsofpropriety-Thecharmofherownnamewasnotwanting.MissWoodhouseappearedmorethanonce,andneverwithoutasomethingofpleasingconnexion,eitheracomplimenttohertaste,oraremembranceofwhatshehadsaid;andintheverylasttimeofitsmeetinghereye,unadornedasitwasbyanysuchbroadwreathofgallantry,sheyetcoulddiscerntheeffectofherinfluenceandacknowledgethegreatestcomplimentperhapsofallconveyed.Compressedintotheverylowestvacantcornerwerethesewords-`IhadnotasparemomentonTuesday,asyouknow,forMissWoodhouse\'sbeautifullittlefriend.Praymakemyexcusesandadieustoher.\'This,Emmacouldnotdoubt,wasallforherself.Harrietwasrememberedonlyfrombeingherfriend.HisinformationandprospectsastoEnscombewereneitherworsenorbetterthanhadbeenanticipated;Mrs.Churchillwasrecovering,andhedarednotyet,eveninhisownimagination,fixatimeforcomingtoRandallsagain.

Gratifying,however,andstimulativeaswastheletterinthematerialpart,itssentiments,sheyetfound,whenitwasfoldedupandreturnedtoMrs.Weston,thatithadnotaddedanylastingwarmth,thatshecouldstilldowithoutthewriter,andthathemustlearntodowithouther.Herintentionswereunchanged.Herresolutionofrefusalonlygrewmoreinterestingbytheadditionofaschemeforhissubsequentconsolationandhappiness.HisrecollectionofHarriet,andthewordswhichclothedit,the`beautifullittlefriend,\'suggestedtohertheideaofHarriet\'ssucceedingherinhisaffections.Wasitimpossible?-No-Harrietundoubtedlywasgreatlyhisinferiorinunderstanding;buthehadbeenverymuchstruckwiththelovelinessofherfaceandthewarmsimplicityofhermanner;andalltheprobabilitiesofcircumstanceandconnexionwereinherfavour-ForHarriet,itwouldbeadvantageousanddelightfulindeed.

d,consideringwhatIhavebeenusedto.Mygreatestdanger,perhaps,inhousekeeping,maybequitetheotherway,indoingtoomuch,andbeingtoocarelessofexpense.MapleGrovewillprobablybemymodelmorethanitoughttobe-forwedonotatallaffecttoequalmybrother,Mr.Suckling,inincome-However,myresolutionistakenastonoticingJaneFairfax-Ishallcertainlyhaveherveryoftenatmyhouse,shallintroduceherwhereverIcan,shallhavemusicalpartiestodrawouthertalents,andshallbeconstantlyonthewatchforaneligiblesituation.Myacquaintanceissoveryextensive,thatIhavelittledoubtofhearingofsomethingtosuithershortly-I`Imustnotdwelluponit,\'saidshe-`Imustnotthinkofit.Iknowthedangerofindulgingsuchspeculations.Butstrangerthingshavehappened;andwhenweceasetocareforeachotheraswedonow,itwillbethemeansofconfirmingusinthatsortoftruedisinterestedfriendshipwhichIcanalreadylookforwardtowithpleasure.\'

ItwaswelltohaveacomfortinstoreonHarriet\'sbehalf,thoughitmightbewisetoletthefancytouchitseldom;forevilinthatquarterwasathand.AsFrankChurchill\'sarrivalhadsucceededMr.Elton\'sengagementintheconversationofHighbury,asthelatestinteresthadentirelybornedownthefirst,sonowuponFrankChurchill\'sdisappearance,Mr.Elton\'sconcernswereassumingthemostirresistibleform-Hiswedding-daywasnamed.Hewouldsoonbeamongthemagain;Mr.Eltonandhisbride.TherewashardlytimetotalkoverthefirstletterfromEnscombebefore`Mr.Eltonandhisbride\'wasineverybody\'smouth,andFrankChurchillwasforgotten.Emmagrewsickatthesound.ShehadhadthreeweeksofhappyexemptionfromMr.Elton;andHarriet\'smind,shehadbeenwillingtohope,hadbeenlatelygainingstrength.WithMr.Weston\'sballinviewatleast,therehadbeenagreatdealofinsensibilitytootherthings;butitwasnowtooevidentthatshehadnotattainedsuchastateofcomposureascouldstandagainsttheactualapproach-newcarriage,bell-ringing,andall.