第8章

foundthatthewomanwasbenumbedandhardlyabletomove。EvenwhenIaskedhertoenter，andsupplementedmywordswithgesturesincasesheshouldnotunderstandmylanguage，shestoodstock—still，onlyrockingslightlytoandfroasthoughshehadjuststrengthenoughlefttobalanceherselfonherfeet。Iwasafraid，fromtheconditioninwhichshewas，thatshemightdropdowndeadatanymoment。SoItookherbythehandtoleadherin。Butsheseemedtooweaktoevenmaketheattempt。WhenIpulledherslightlyforward，thinkingtohelpher，shetottered，andwouldhavefallenhadInotcaughtherinmyarms。Then，halfliftingher，Imovedherforwards。Herfeet，relievedofherweight，nowseemedabletomakethenecessaryeffort；andso，Ialmostcarryingher，wemovedintotheroom。Shewasattheveryendofherstrength；Ihadtoliftheroverthesill。Inobediencetohermotion，IclosedtheFrenchwindowandboltedit。Isupposedthewarmthoftheroom——thoughcool，itwaswarmerthanthedampairwithout——affectedherquickly，forontheinstantsheseemedtobegintorecoverherself。Inafewseconds，asthoughshehadreacquiredherstrength，sheherselfpulledtheheavycurtainacrossthewindow。Thisleftusindarkness，throughwhichIheardhersayinEnglish：

"Light。Getalight！"

Ifoundmatches，andatoncelitacandle。Asthewickflared，shemovedovertothedooroftheroom，andtriedifthelockandboltwerefastened。Satisfiedastothis，shemovedtowardsme，herwetshroudleavingatrailofmoistureonthegreencarpet。Bythistimethewaxofthecandlehadmeltedsufficientlytoletmeseeherclearly。Shewasshakingandquiveringasthoughinanague；shedrewthewetshroudaroundherpiteously。InstinctivelyIspoke：

"CanIdoanythingforyou？"

Sheanswered，stillinEnglish，andinavoiceofthrilling，almostpiercingsweetness，whichseemedsomehowtogostraighttomyheart，andaffectedmestrangely："Givemewarmth。"

Ihurriedtothefireplace。Itwasempty；therewasnofirelaid。I

turnedtoher，andsaid：

"Waitjustafewminuteshere。Ishallcallsomeone，andgethelp——

andfire。"

Hervoiceseemedtoringwithintensityassheansweredwithoutapause：

"No，no！RatherwouldIbe"——hereshehesitatedforaninstant，butasshecaughtsightofhercerementswentonhurriedly——"asIam。I

trustyou——notothers；andyoumustnotbetraymytrust。"Almostinstantlyshefellintoafrightfulfitofshivering，drawingagainherdeath—clothesclosetoher，sopiteouslythatitwrungmyheart。

IsupposeIamapracticalman。Atanyrate，Iamaccustomedtoaction。ItookfromitsplacebesidemybedathickJaegerdressing—

gownofdarkbrown——itwas，ofcourse，ofextralength——andhelditouttoherasIsaid：

"Putthaton。Itistheonlywarmthingherewhichwouldbesuitable。Stay；youmustremovethatwet——wet"——Istumbledaboutforawordthatwouldnotbeoffensive——"thatfrock——dress——costume——

whateveritis。"Ipointedtowhere，inthecorneroftheroom，stoodachintz—coveredfolding—screenwhichfencesinmycoldspongebath，whichislaidreadyformeovernight，asIamanearlyriser。

Shebowedgravely，andtakingthedressing—gowninalong，white，finely—shapedhand，boreitbehindthescreen。Therewasaslightrustle，andthenahollow"flop"asthewetgarmentfellonthefloor；morerustlingandrubbing，andaminutelatersheemergedwrappedfromheadtofootinthelongJaegergarment，whichtrailedonthefloorbehindher，thoughshewasatallwoman。Shewasstillshiveringpainfully，however。Itookaflaskofbrandyandaglassfromacupboard，andofferedhersome；butwithamotionofherhandsherefusedit，thoughshemoanedgrievously。

"Oh，Iamsocold——socold！"Herteethwerechattering。Iwaspainedathersadcondition，andsaiddespairingly，forIwasatmywits’endtoknowwhattodo：

"TellmeanythingthatIcandotohelpyou，andIwilldoit。Imaynotcallhelp；thereisnofire——nothingtomakeitwith；youwillnottakesomebrandy。WhatonearthcanIdotogiveyouwarmth？"

Heranswercertainlysurprisedmewhenitcame，thoughitwaspracticalenough——sopracticalthatIshouldnothavedaredtosayit。Shelookedmestraightinthefaceforafewsecondsbeforespeaking。Then，withanairofgirlishinnocencewhichdisarmedsuspicionandconvincedmeatonceofhersimplefaith，shesaidinavoicethatatoncethrilledmeandevokedallmypity：

"Letmerestforawhile，andcovermeupwithrugs。Thatmaygivemewarmth。Iamdyingofcold。AndIhaveadeadlyfearuponme——adeadlyfear。Sitbyme，andletmeholdyourhand。Youarebigandstrong，andyoulookbrave。Itwillreassureme。Iamnotmyselfacoward，butto—nightfearhasgotmebythethroat。Icanhardlybreathe。DoletmestaytillIamwarm。IfyouonlyknewwhatI

havegonethrough，andhavetogothroughstill，Iamsureyouwouldpitymeandhelpme。"

TosaythatIwasastonishedwouldbeamilddescriptionofmyfeelings。Iwasnotshocked。ThelifewhichIhaveledwasnotonewhichmakesforprudery。Totravelinstrangeplacesamongststrangepeopleswithstrangeviewsoftheirownistohaveoddexperiencesandpeculiaradventuresnowandagain；amanwithouthumanpassionsisnotthetypenecessaryforanadventurouslife，suchasImyselfhavehad。Butevenamanofpassionsandexperiencescan，whenherespectsawoman，beshocked——evenprudish——wherehisownopinionofherisconcerned。Suchmustbringtoherguardinganygenerositywhichhehas，andanyself—restraintalso。Evenshouldsheplaceherselfinadoubtfulposition，herhonourcallstohishonour。Thisisacallwhichmaynotbe——MUSTnotbe——unanswered。Evenpassionmustpauseforatleastawhileatsoundofsuchatrumpet—call。

ThiswomanIdidrespect——muchrespect。Heryouthandbeauty；hermanifestignoranceofevil；hersuperbdisdainofconvention，whichcouldonlycomethroughhereditarydignity；herterriblefearandsuffering——fortheremustbemoreinherunhappyconditionthanmeetstheeye——wouldalldemandrespect，evenifonedidnothastentoyieldit。Nevertheless，Ithoughtitnecessarytoenteraprotestagainstherembarrassingsuggestion。Icertainlydidfeelafoolwhenmakingit，alsoacad。Icantrulysayitwasmadeonlyforhergood，andoutofthebestofme，suchasIam。Ifeltimpossiblyawkward；andstutteredandstumbledbeforeIspoke：

"Butsurely——theconvenances！Yourbeingherealoneatnight！Mrs。

Grundy——convention——the——"

Sheinterruptedmewithanincomparabledignity——adignitywhichhadtheeffectofshuttingmeuplikeaclasp—knifeandmakingmefeeladecidedinferior——andapoorshowatthat。Therewassuchagracioussimplicityandhonestyinit，too，suchself—respectingknowledgeofherselfandherposition，thatIcouldbeneitherangrynorhurt。I

couldonlyfeelashamedofmyself，andofmyownlittlenessofmindandmorals。Sheseemedinhericycoldness——nowspiritualaswellasbodily——likeanincarnatefigureofPrideassheanswered：

"Whatareconvenancesorconventionstome！IfyouonlyknewwhereI

havecomefrom——theexistence（ifitcanbecalledso）whichIhavehad——theloneliness——thehorror！Andbesides，itisformetoMAKE

conventions，nottoyieldmypersonalfreedomofactiontothem。

EvenasIam——evenhereandinthisgarb——Iamaboveconvention。

Convenancesdonottroublemeorhamperme。That，atleast，IhavewonbywhatIhavegonethrough，evenifithadnevercometomethroughanyotherway。Letmestay。"Shesaidthelastwords，inspiteofallherpride，appealingly。Butstill，therewasanoteofhighprideinallthis——inallshesaidanddid，inherattitudeandmovement，inthetonesofhervoice，intheloftinessofhercarriageandthesteadfastlookofheropen，starliteyes。Altogether，therewassomethingsorarelyloftyinherselfandallthatcladherthat，facetofacewithitandwithher，myfeebleattemptatmoralprecautionseemedpuny，ridiculous，andoutofplace。Withoutawordinthedoing，Itookfromanoldchiffonierchestanarmfulofblankets，severalofwhichIthrewoverherasshelay，forinthemeantime，havingreplacedthecoverlet，shehadlaindownatlengthonthebed。Itookachair，andsatdownbesideher。Whenshestretchedoutherhandfrombeneaththepileofwraps，Itookitinmine，saying：

"Getwarmandrest。Sleepifyoucan。Youneednotfear；Ishallguardyouwithmylife。"

Shelookedatmegratefully，herstarryeyestakinganewlightmorefullofilluminationthanwasaffordedbythewaxcandle，whichwasshadedfromherbymybody……Shewashorriblycold，andherteethchatteredsoviolentlythatIfearedlestsheshouldhaveincurredsomedangerousevilfromherwettingandthecoldthatfollowedit。

Ifelt，however，soawkwardthatIcouldfindnowordstoexpressmyfears；moreover，Ihardlydaredsayanythingatallregardingherselfafterthehaughtywayinwhichshehadreceivedmywell—meantprotest。ManifestlyIwasbuttoherasasortofrefugeandproviderofheat，altogetherimpersonal，andnottoberegardedinanydegreeasanindividual。InthesehumiliatingcircumstanceswhatcouldIdobutsitquiet——andwaitdevelopments？

Littlebylittlethefiercechatteringofherteethbegantoabateasthewarmthofhersurroundingsstolethroughher。Ialsofelt，eveninthisstrangelyawakeningposition，theinfluenceofthequiet；andsleepbegantostealoverme。SeveraltimesItriedtofenditoff，but，asIcouldnotmakeanyovertmovementwithoutalarmingmystrangeandbeautifulcompanion，Ihadtoyieldmyselftodrowsiness。

IwasstillinsuchanoverwhelmingstuporofsurprisethatIcouldnoteventhinkfreely。Therewasnothingformebuttocontrolmyselfandwait。BeforeIcouldwellfixmythoughtsIwasasleep。

Iwasrecalledtoconsciousnessbyhearing，eventhroughthepallofsleepthatboundme，thecrowingofacockinsomeoftheout—officesofthecastle。Atthesameinstantthefigure，lyingdeathlystillbutforthegentleheavingofherbosom，begantostrugglewildly。

Thesoundhadwonthroughthegatesofhersleepalso。Withaswift，glidingmotionsheslippedfromthebedtothefloor，sayinginafiercewhisperasshepulledherselfuptoherfullheight：

"Letmeout！Imustgo！Imustgo！"

BythistimeIwasfullyawake，andthewholepositionofthingscametomeinaninstantwhichIshallnever——cannever——forget：thedimlightofthecandle，nownearlyburneddowntothesocket，allthedimmerfromthefactthatthefirstgreygleamofmorningwasstealinginroundtheedgesoftheheavycurtain；thetall，slimfigureinthebrowndressing—gownwhoseover—lengthtrailedonthefloor，theblackhairshowingglossyinthelight，andincreasingbycontrastthemarblewhitenessoftheface，inwhichtheblackeyessentthroughtheirstarsfierygleams。Sheappearedquiteinafrenzyofhaste；hereagernesswassimplyirresistible。

Iwassostupefiedwithamazement，aswellaswithsleep，thatIdidnotattempttostopher，butbeganinstinctivelytohelpherbyfurtheringherwishes。Assheranbehindthescreen，and，asfarassoundcouldinformme，——beganfranticallytodisrobeherselfofthewarmdressing—gownandtodonagaintheice—coldwetshroud，Ipulledbackthecurtainfromthewindow，anddrewtheboltoftheglassdoor。AsIdidsoshewasalreadybehindme，shivering。AsIthrewopenthedoorsheglidedoutwithaswiftsilentmovement，buttremblinginanagonizedway。Asshepassedme，shemurmuredinalowvoice，whichwasalmostlostinthechatteringofherteeth：

"Oh，thankyou——thankyouathousandtimes！ButImustgo。IMUST！

IMUST！Ishallcomeagain，andtrytoshowmygratitude。Donotcondemnmeasungrateful——tillthen。"Andshewasgone。

Iwatchedherpassthelengthofthewhitepath，flittingfromshrubtoshruborstatueasshehadcome。Inthecoldgreylightoftheundevelopeddawnsheseemedevenmoreghostlythanshehaddoneintheblackshadowofthenight。

Whenshedisappearedfromsightintheshadowofthewood，Istoodontheterraceforalongtimewatching，incaseIshouldbeaffordedanotherglimpseofher，fortherewasnownodoubtinmymindthatshehadformesomestrangeattraction。IfelteventhenthatthelookinthosegloriousstarryeyeswouldbewithmealwayssolongasImightlive。Therewassomefascinationwhichwentdeeperthanmyeyesormyfleshormyheart——downdeepintotheverydepthsofmysoul。Mymindwasallinawhirl，sothatIcouldhardlythinkcoherently。Itallwaslikeadream；therealityseemedfaraway。

Itwasnotpossibletodoubtthatthephantomfigurewhichhadbeensoclosetomeduringthedarkhoursofthenightwasactualfleshandblood。Yetshewassocold，socold！AltogetherIcouldnotfixmymindtoeitherproposition：thatitwasalivingwomanwhohadheldmyhand，oradeadbodyreanimatedforthetimeortheoccasioninsomestrangemanner。

Thedifficultywastoogreatformetomakeupmyminduponit，evenhadIwantedto。But，inanycase，Ididnotwantto。Thiswould，nodoubt，comeintime。ButtillthenIwishedtodreamon，asanyonedoesinadreamwhichcanstillbeblissfulthoughtherebepausesofpain，orghastliness，ordoubt，orterror。

SoIclosedthewindowanddrewthecurtainagain，feelingforthefirsttimethecoldinwhichIhadstoodonthewetmarbleflooroftheterracewhenmybarefeetbegantogetwarmonthesoftcarpet。

TogetridofthechillfeelingIgotintothebedonwhichSHEhadlain，andasthewarmthrestoredmetriedtothinkcoherently。ForashortwhileIwasgoingoverthefactsofthenight——orwhatseemedasfactstomyremembrance。ButasIcontinuedtothink，thepossibilitiesofanyresultseemedtogetless，andIfoundmyselfvainlytryingtoreconcilewiththelogicoflifethegrimepisodeofthenight。Theeffortprovedtobetoomuchforsuchconcentrationaswaslefttome；moreover，interruptedsleepwasclamant，andwouldnotbedenied。WhatIdreamtof——ifIdreamtatall——Iknownot。I

onlyknowthatIwasreadyforwakingwhenthetimecame。Itcamewithaviolentknockingatmydoor。Isprangfrombed，fullyawakeinasecond，drewthebolt，andslippedbacktobed。Withahurried"MayIcomein？"AuntJanetentered。Sheseemedrelievedwhenshesawme，andgavewithoutmyaskinganexplanationofherperturbation：

"Oh，laddie，Ihaebeensouneasyabootyeallthenicht。Ihaehaddreamsan’veesionsan’a’sortso’uncannyfancies。Ifearthat——"

Shewasbynowdrawingbackthecurtain，andashereyestookinthemarksofwetalloverthefloorthecurrentofherthoughtschanged：

"Why，laddie，whativerhaeyebeendoin’wi’yerbaith？Oh，themessyehaemade！’Tissinfultogiesictroublean’waste……"Andsoshewenton。Iwasgladtohearthetirade，whichwasonlywhatagoodhousewife，outragedinhersentimentsoforder，wouldhavemade。

Ilistenedinpatience——withpleasurewhenIthoughtofwhatshewouldhavethought（andsaid）hadsheknowntherealfacts。Iwaswellpleasedtohavegotoffsoeasily。

RUPERT’SJOURNAL——Continued。

April10，1907。

ForsomedaysafterwhatIcall"theepisode"Iwasinastrangeconditionofmind。Ididnottakeanyone——notevenAuntJanet——intoconfidence。Evenshedear，andopen—heartedandliberal—mindedassheis，mightnothaveunderstoodwellenoughtobejustandtolerant；andIdidnotcaretohearanyadversecommentonmystrangevisitor。SomehowIcouldnotbearthethoughtofanyonefindingfaultwithherorinher，though，strangelyenough，Iwaseternallydefendinghertomyself；for，despitemywishes，embarrassingthoughtsWOULDcomeagainandagain，andagaininallsortsandvariantsofqueriesdifficulttoanswer。Ifoundmyselfdefendingher，sometimesasawomanhardpressedbyspiritualfearandphysicalsuffering，sometimesasnotbeingamenabletolawsthatgoverntheLiving。Indeed，IcouldnotmakeupmymindwhetherI

lookedonherasalivinghumanbeingorasonewithsomestrangeexistenceinanotherworld，andhavingonlyachancefootholdinourown。Insuchdoubtimaginationbegantowork，andthoughtsofevil，ofdanger，ofdoubt，evenoffear，begantocrowdonmewithsuchpersistenceandinsuchvariedformsthatIfoundmyinstinctofreticencegrowingintoasettledpurpose。ThevalueofthisinstinctiveprecautionwaspromptlyshownbyAuntJanet’sstateofmind，withconsequentrevelationofit。ShebecamefullofgloomyprognosticationsandwhatIthoughtweremorbidfears。ForthefirsttimeinmylifeIdiscoveredthatAuntJanethadnerves！Ihadlonghadasecretbeliefthatshewasgifted，tosomedegreeatanyrate，withSecondSight，whichquality，orwhateveritis，skilledinthepowersifnottheloreofsuperstition，managestokeepatstretchnotonlythemindofitsimmediatepathic，butofothersrelevanttoit。PerhapsthisnaturalqualityhadreceivedafreshimpetusfromthearrivalofsomecasesofherbookssentonbySirColin。Sheappearedtoreadandrereadtheseworks，whichwerechieflyonoccultsubjects，dayandnight，exceptwhenshewasimpartingtomechoiceexcerptsofthemostbalefulandfearsomekind。Indeed，beforeaweekwasoverIfoundmyselftobeanexpertinthehistoryofthecult，aswellasinitsmanifestations，whichlatterIhadbeenversedinforagoodmanyyears。

Theresultofallthiswasthatitsetmebrooding。Such，atleast，IgatheredwasthefactwhenAuntJanettookmetotaskforit。Shealwaysspeaksoutaccordingtoherconvictions，sothatherthinkingIbroodedwastomeaproofthatIdid；andafterapersonalexaminationIcame——reluctantly——totheconclusionthatshewasright，sofar，atanyrate，asmyouterconductwasconcerned。ThestateofmindIwasin，however，keptmefrommakinganyacknowledgmentofit——therealcauseofmykeepingsomuchtomyselfandofbeingsodistrait。AndsoIwenton，torturingmyselfasbeforewithintrospectivequestioning；andshe，withhermindsetonmyactions，andendeavouringtofindacauseforthem，continuedandexpoundedherbeliefsandfears。

Hernightlychatswithmewhenwewerealoneafterdinner——forIhadcometoavoidherquestioningatothertimes——keptmyimaginationathighpressure。Despitemyself，Icouldnotbutfindnewcauseforconcernintheperennialfountsofhersuperstition。Ihadthought，yearsago，thatIhadthensoundedthedepthsofthisbranchofpsychicism；butthisnewphaseofthought，foundedonthereallydeepholdwhichtheexistenceofmybeautifulvisitorandhersadanddreadfulcircumstanceshadtakenuponme，broughtmeanewconcerninthematterofself—importance。IcametothinkthatImustreconstructmyself—values，andbeginafreshunderstandingofethicalbeliefs。DowhatIwould，mymindwouldkeepturningontheuncannysubjectsbroughtbeforeit。Ibegantoapplythemonebyonetomyownlateexperience，andunconsciouslytotrytofittheminturntothepresentcase。

TheeffectofthisbroodingwasthatIwas，despitemyownwill，struckbythesimilarityofcircumstancesbearingonmyvisitor，andtheconditionsapportionedbytraditionandsuperstitiontosuchstrangesurvivalsfromearlieragesasthesepartialexistenceswhichareratherUndeadthanLiving——stillwalkingtheearth，thoughclaimedbytheworldoftheDead。AmongstthemaretheVampire，ortheWehr—Wolf。TothisclassalsomightbelonginameasuretheDoppelganger——oneofwhosedualexistencescommonlybelongstotheactualworldaroundit。So，too，thedenizensoftheworldofAstralism。Inanyofthesenamedworldsthereisamaterialpresence——whichmustbecreated，ifonlyforasingleorperiodicpurpose。Itmattersnotwhetheramaterialpresencealreadycreatedcanbereceptiveofadisembodiedsoul，orasoulunattachedcanhaveabodybuiltupforitoraroundit；or，again，whetherthebodyofadeadpersoncanbemadeseemingquickthroughsomediabolicinfluencemanifestedinthepresent，oraninheritanceorresultofsomebalefuluseofmaleficpowerinthepast。Theresultisthesameineachcase，thoughthewaysbewidelydifferent：asoulandabodywhicharenotinunitybutbroughttogetherforstrangepurposesthroughstrangermeansandbypowersstillmorestrange。

Throughmuchthoughtandaprocessofexclusionstheeerieformwhichseemedtobemostincorrespondencewithmyadventure，andmostsuitabletomyfascinatingvisitor，appearedtobetheVampire。

Doppelganger，Astralcreations，andallsuch—like，didnotcomplywiththeconditionsofmynightexperience。TheWehr—WolfisbutavariantoftheVampire，andsoneedednottobeclassedorexaminedatall。Thenitwasthat，thusfocussed，theLadyoftheShroud（forsoIcametoholdherinmymind）begantoassumeanewforce。AuntJanet’slibraryaffordedmeclueswhichIfollowedwithavidity。InmysecretheartIhatedthequest，anddidnotwishtogoonwithit。

ButinthisIwasnotmyownmaster。DowhatIwould——brushawaydoubtsneversooften，newdoubtsandimaginingscameintheirstead。

ThecircumstancealmostrepeatedtheparableoftheSevenDevilswhotooktheplaceoftheexorcisedone。DoubtsIcouldstand。

ImaginingsIcouldstand。ButdoubtsandimaginingstogethermadeaforcesofellthatIwasdriventoacceptanyreadingofthemysterywhichmightpresumablyaffordafootholdforsatisfyingthought。AndsoIcametoaccepttentativelytheVampiretheory——acceptit，atleast，sofarastoexamineitasjudiciallyaswasgivenmetodo。

Asthedaysworeon，sotheconvictiongrew。ThemoreIreadonthesubject，themoredirectlytheevidencespointedtowardsthisview。

ThemoreIthought，themoreobstinatebecametheconviction。I

ransackedAuntJanet’svolumesagainandagaintofindanythingtothecontrary；butinvain。Again，nomatterhowobstinateweremyconvictionsatanygiventime，unsettlementcamewithfreshthinkingovertheargument，sothatIwaskeptinaharassingstateofuncertainty。

Briefly，theevidenceinfavourofaccordbetweenthefactsofthecaseandtheVampiretheorywere：

Hercomingwasatnight——thetimetheVampireisaccordingtothetheory，freetomoveatwill。

Sheworehershroud——anecessityofcomingfreshfromgraveortomb；

forthereisnothingoccultaboutclothingwhichisnotsubjecttoastralorotherinfluences。

Shehadtobehelpedintomyroom——instrictaccordancewithwhatonescepticalcriticofoccultismhascalled"theVampireetiquette。"

Shemadeviolenthasteingettingawayatcock—crow。

Sheseemedpreternaturallycold；hersleepwasalmostabnormalinintensity，andyetthesoundofthecock—crowingcamethroughit。

ThesethingsshowedhertobesubjecttoSOMElaws，thoughnotinexactaccordwithinthosewhichgovernhumanbeings。Underthestressofsuchcircumstancesasshemusthavegonethrough，hervitalityseemedmorethanhuman——thequalityofvitalitywhichcouldoutliveordinaryburial。Again，suchpurposeasshehadshownindonning，understressofsomecompellingdirection，herice—coldwetshroud，and，wraptinit，goingoutagainintothenight，washardlynormalforawoman。

Butifso，andifshewasindeedaVampire，mightnotwhateveritmaybethatholdssuchbeingsinthrallbebysomemeansorotherexorcised？Tofindthemeansmustbemynexttask。Iamactuallypiningtoseeheragain。NeverbeforehaveIbeenstirredtomydepthsbyanyone。ComeitfromHeavenorHell，fromtheEarthortheGrave，itdoesnotmatter；Ishallmakeitmytasktowinherbacktolifeandpeace。IfshebeindeedaVampire，thetaskmaybehardandlong；ifshebenotso，andifitbemerelythatcircumstanceshavesogatheredroundherastoproducethatimpression，thetaskmaybesimplerandtheresultmoresweet。No，notmoresweet；forwhatcanbemoresweetthantorestorethelostorseeminglylostsoulofthewomanyoulove！There，thetruthisoutatlast！IsupposethatI

havefalleninlovewithher。Ifso，itistoolateformetofightagainstit。IcanonlywaitwithwhatpatienceIcantillIseeheragain。ButtothatendIcandonothing。Iknowabsolutelynothingabouther——notevenhername。Patience！