第5章

EvenifthiscleverladyenjoyedpoorPickering’sbedazzlement，itwasconceivablethat，takingvanityandcharitytogether，sheshouldcaremoreforhiswelfarethanforherownentertainment;andheroffertoabidebytheresultofhazardouscomparisonwithotherwomenwasafinerstrokethanherreputationhadledmetoexpect。Shereceivedmeinashabbylittlesitting—roomlitteredwithuncutbooksandnewspapers，manyofwhichIsawataglancewereFrench。Onesideofitwasoccupiedbyanopenpiano，surmountedbyajarfullofwhiteroses。Theyperfumedtheair;theyseemedtometoexhalethepurearomaofPickering’sdevotion。Buriedinanarm—chair，theobjectofthisdevotionwasreadingtheRevuedesDeuxMondes。ThepurposeofmyvisitwasnottoadmireMadameBlumenthalonmyownaccount，buttoascertainhowfarImightsafelyleavehertoworkherwilluponmyfriend。Shehadimpugnedmysinceritytheeveningoftheopera，andIwascarefulonthisoccasiontoabstainfromcompliments，andnottoplaceheronherguardagainstmypenetration。Itisneedlesstonarrateourinterviewindetail;

indeed，totelltheperfecttruth，Iwaspunishedformyrashattempttosurpriseherbyatemporaryeclipseofmyownperspicacity。Shesattheresoquestioning，soperceptive，sogenial，sogenerous，andsoprettywithal，thatIwasquitereadyattheendofhalfanhourtosubscribetothemostcomprehensiveofPickering’srhapsodies。

Shewascertainlyawonderfulwoman。Ihaveneverlikedtolinger，inmemory，onthathalf—hour。Theresultofitwastoprovethatthereweremanymorethingsinthecompositionofawomanwho，asNiedermeyersaid，hadlodgedherimaginationintheplaceofherheartthanweredreamtofinmyphilosophy。Yet，asIsattherestrokingmyhatandbalancingtheaccountbetweennatureandartinmyaffablehostess，Ifeltlikeaverycompetentphilosopher。Shehadsaidshewishedmetotellhereverythingaboutourfriend，andshequestionedmeastohisfamily，hisfortune，hisantecedents，andhischaracter。Allthiswasnaturalinawomanwhohadreceivedapassionatedeclarationoflove，anditwasexpressedwithanairofcharmedsolicitude，aradiantconfidencethattherewasreallynomistakeabouthisbeingamostdistinguishedyoungman，andthatifI

chosetobeexplicit，Imightdeepenherconvictiontodisinterestedecstasy，whichmighthavealmostprovokedmetoinventagoodopinion，ifIhadnothadonereadymade。ItoldherthatshereallyknewPickeringbetterthanIdid，andthatuntilwemetatHomburgI

hadnotseenhimsincehewasaboy。

"Buthetalkstoyoufreely，"sheanswered;"Iknowyouarehisconfidant。Hehastoldmecertainlyagreatmanythings，butI

alwaysfeelasifhewerekeepingsomethingback;asifhewereholdingsomethingbehindhim，andshowingmeonlyonehandatonce。

Heseemsoftentobehoveringontheedgeofasecret。Ihavehadseveralfriendshipsinmylife——thankHeaven！butIhavehadnonemoredeartomethanthisone。YetinthemidstofitIhavethepainfulsenseofmyfriendbeinghalfafraidofme;ofhisthinkingmeterrible，strange，perhapsatrifleoutofmywits。Poorme！IfheonlyknewwhataplaingoodsoulIam，andhowIonlywanttoknowhimandbefriendhim！"

Thesewordswerefullofaplaintivemagnanimitywhichmademistrustseemcruel。HowmuchbetterImightplayprovidenceoverPickering’sexperimentswithlifeifIcouldengagethefineinstinctsofthischarmingwomanontheprovidentialside！Pickering’ssecretwas，ofcourse，hisengagementtoMissVernor;itwasnaturalenoughthatheshouldhavebeenunabletobringhimselftotalkofittoMadameBlumenthal。Thesimplesweetnessofthisyounggirl’sfacehadnotfadedfrommymemory;IcouldnotridmyselfofthesuspicionthatingoingfurtherPickeringmightfaremuchworse。MadameBlumenthal’sprofessionsseemedavirtualpromisetoagreewithme，and，aftersomehesitation，Isaidthatmyfriendhad，infact，asubstantialsecret，andthatperhapsImightdohimagoodturnbyputtingherinpossessionofit。InasfewwordsaspossibleItoldherthatPickeringstoodpledgedbyfilialpietytomarryayoungladyatSmyrna。Shelistenedintentlytomystory;whenIhadfinishedittherewasafaintflushofexcitementineachofhercheeks。Shebrokeoutintoadozenexclamationsofadmirationandcompassion。

"Whatawonderfultale——whataromanticsituation！NowonderpoorMr。Pickeringseemedrestlessandunsatisfied;nowonderhewishedtoputoffthedayofsubmission。AndthepoorlittlegirlatSmyrna，waitingtherefortheyoungWesternprinceliketheheroineofanEasterntale！Shewouldgivetheworldtoseeherphotograph;didI

thinkMr。Pickeringwouldshowittoher？Butneverfear;shewouldasknothingindiscreet！Yes，itwasamarvellousstory，andifshehadinventeditherself，peoplewouldhavesaiditwasabsurdlyimprobable。"Sheleftherseatandtookseveralturnsabouttheroom，smilingtoherself，andutteringlittleGermancriesofwonderment。Suddenlyshestoppedbeforethepianoandbrokeintoalittlelaugh;thenextmomentsheburiedherfaceinthegreatbouquetofroses。ItwastimeIshouldgo，butIwasindisposedtoleaveherwithoutobtainingsomedefiniteassurancethat，asfaraspitywasconcerned，shepitiedtheyounggirlatSmyrnamorethantheyoungmanatHomburg。

"OfcourseyouknowwhatIwishedintellingyouthis，"Isaid，rising。"Sheisevidentlyacharmingcreature，andthebestthinghecandoistomarryher。Iwishedtointerestyouinthatviewofit。"

Shehadtakenoneoftherosesfromthevaseandwasarrangingitinthefrontofherdress。Suddenly，lookingup，"Leaveittome，leaveittome！"shecried。"Iaminterested！"Andwithherlittleblue—

gemmedhandshetappedherforehead。"Iamdeeplyinterested！"

AndwiththisIhadtocontentmyself。ButmorethanoncethenextdayIrepentedofmyzeal，andwonderedwhetheraprovidencewithawhiteroseinherbosommightnotturnoutatrifletoohuman。Intheevening，attheKursaal，IlookedforPickering，buthewasnotvisible，andIreflectedthatmyrevelationhadnotasyet，atanyrate，seemedtoMadameBlumenthalareasonforprescribingacooling—

termtohispassion。Verylate，asIwasturningaway，Isawhimarrive——withnosmallsatisfaction，forIhaddeterminedtolethimknowimmediatelyinwhatwayIhadattemptedtoservehim。Buthestraightwaypassedhisarmthroughmyownandledmeofftowardsthegardens。Isawthathewastooexcitedtoallowmetospeakfirst。

"Ihaveburntmyships！"hecried，whenwewereoutofearshotofthecrowd。"Ihavetoldhereverything。Ihaveinsistedthatit’ssimpletortureformetowaitwiththisidleviewoflovingherless。

It’swellenoughforhertoaskit，butIfeelstrongenoughnowtooverrideherreluctance。Ihavecastoffthemillstonefromroundmyneck。Icarefornothing，Iknownothing，butthatIloveherwitheverypulseofmybeing——andthateverythingelsehasbeenahideousdream，fromwhichshemaywakemeintoblissfulmorningwithasingleword！"

Iheldhimoffatarm’s—lengthandlookedathimgravely。"Youhavetoldher，youmean，ofyourengagementtoMissVernor？"

"Thewholestory！Ihavegivenitup——Ihavethrownittothewinds。

Ihavebrokenutterlywiththepast。Itmayriseinitsgraveandgivemeitscurse，butitcan’tfrightenmenow。Ihavearighttobehappy，Ihavearighttobefree，Ihavearightnottoburymyselfalive。Itwasnot_I_whopromised——Iwasnotbornthen。I

myself，mysoul，mymind，myoption——allthisisbutamonthold！

Ah，"hewenton，"ifyouknewthedifferenceitmakes——thishavingchosenandbrokenandspoken！IamtwicethemanIwasyesterday！

YesterdayIwasafraidofher;therewasakindofmockingmysteryofknowledgeandclevernessabouther，whichoppressedmeinthemidstofmylove。ButnowIamafraidofnothingbutofbeingtoohappy！"

Istoodsilent，tolethimspendhiseloquence。Buthepausedamoment，andtookoffhishatandfannedhimself。"Letmeperfectlyunderstand，"Isaidatlast。"YouhaveaskedMadameBlumenthaltobeyourwife？"

"Thewifeofmyintelligentchoice！"

"Anddoessheconsent？"

"Sheasksthreedaystodecide。"

"Callitfour！Shehasknownyoursecretsincethismorning。IamboundtoletyouknowItoldher。"

"Somuchthebetter！"criedPickering，withoutapparentresentmentorsurprise。"It’snotabrilliantofferforsuchawoman，andinspiteofwhatIhaveatstake，Ifeelthatitwouldbebrutaltopressher。"

"Whatdoesshesaytoyourbreakingyourpromise？"Iaskedinamoment。

Pickeringwastoomuchinloveforfalseshame。"Shetellsmethatshelovesmetoomuchtofindcouragetocondemnme。SheagreeswithmethatIhavearighttobehappy。Iasknoexemptionfromthecommonlaw。WhatIclaimissimplyfreedomtotrytobe！"

OfcourseIwaspuzzled;itwasnotinthatfashionthatIhadexpectedMadameBlumenthaltomakeuseofmyinformation。Butthematternowwasquiteoutofmyhands，andallIcoulddowastobidmycompanionnotworkhimselfintoafeverovereitherfortune。

ThenextdayIhadavisitfromNiedermeyer，onwhom，afterourtalkattheopera，Ihadleftacard。Wegossipedawhile，andatlasthesaidsuddenly，"Bytheway，IhaveasequeltothehistoryofClorinda。ThemajorisatHomburg！"

"Indeed！"saidI。"Sincewhen？"

"Thesethreedays。"

"Andwhatishedoing？"

"Heseems，"saidNiedermeyer，withalaugh，"tobechieflyoccupiedinsendingflowerstoMadameBlumenthal。Thatis，Iwentwithhimthemorningofhisarrivaltochooseanosegay，andnothingwouldsuithimbutasmallhaystackofwhiteroses。Ihopeitwasreceived。"

"Icanassureyouitwas，"Icried。"Isawtheladyfairlynestlingherheadinit。ButIadvisethemajornottobuilduponthat。Hehasarival。"

"Doyoumeanthesoftyoungmanoftheothernight？"

"Pickeringissoft，ifyouwill，buthissoftnessseemstohaveservedhim。Hehasofferedhereverything，andshehasnotyetrefusedit。"Ihadhandedmyvisitoracigar，andhewaspuffingitinsilence。AtlastheabruptlyaskedifIhadbeenintroducedtoMadameBlumenthal，and，onmyaffirmative，inquiredwhatIthoughtofher。"Iwillnottellyou，"Isaid，"oryou’llcallMEsoft。"

Heknockedawayhisashes，eyeingmeaskance。"Ihavenoticedyourfriendabout，"hesaid，"andevenifyouhadnottoldme，Ishouldhaveknownhewasinlove。Afterhehaslefthisadored，hisfacewearsfortherestofthedaytheexpressionwithwhichhehasrisenfromherfeet，andmorethanonceIhavefeltliketouchinghiselbow，asyouwouldthatofamanwhohasinadvertentlycomeintoadrawing—roominhisovershoes。Yousayhehasofferedourfriendeverything;but，mydearfellow，hehasnoteverythingtoofferher。

Heevidentlyisasamiableasthemorning，buttheladyhasnotastefordaylight。"

"IassureyouPickeringisaveryinterestingfellow，"Isaid。

"Ah，thereitis！Hashenotsomestoryorother？Isn’theanorphan，oranaturalchild，orconsumptive，orcontingentheirtogreatestates？Shewillreadhislittlestorytotheend，andclosethebookverytenderlyandsmoothdownthecover;andthen，whenheleastexpectsit，shewilltossitintothedustylimboofherotherromances。Shewilllethimdangle，butshewilllethimdrop！"

"Uponmyword，"Icried，withheat，"ifshedoes，shewillbeaveryunprincipledlittlecreature！"

Niedermeyershruggedhisshoulders。"Ineversaidshewasasaint！"

ShrewdasIfeltNiedermeyertobe，Iwasnotpreparedtotakehissimplewordforthisevent，andintheeveningIreceivedacommunicationwhichfortifiedmydoubts。ItwasanotefromPickering，anditranasfollows:—

"MyDearFriend——Ihaveeveryhopeofbeinghappy，butIamtogotoWiesbadentolearnmyfate。MadameBlumenthalgoesthitherthisafternoontospendafewdays，andsheallowsmetoaccompanyher。

Givemeyourgoodwishes;youshallhearoftheresult。E。P。"

OneofthediversionsofHomburgfornew—comersistodineinrotationatthedifferenttablesd’hote。Itsohappenedthat，acoupleofdayslater，Niedermeyertookpot—luckatmyhotel，andsecuredaseatbesidemyown。AswetookourplacesIfoundaletteronmyplate，and，asitwaspostmarkedWiesbaden，Ilostnotimeinopeningit。Itcontainedbutthreelines——"Iamhappy——Iamaccepted——anhourago。Icanhardlybelieveit’syourpoorfriendE。P。"

IplacedthenotebeforeNiedermeyer;notexactlyintriumph，butwiththealacrityofallfelicitousconfutation。Helookedatitmuchlongerthanwasneedfultoreadit，strokingdownhisbeardgravely，andIfeltitwasnotsoeasytoconfuteapupiloftheschoolofMetternich。Atlast，foldingthenoteandhandingitback，"HasyourfriendmentionedMadameBlumenthal’serrandatWiesbaden？"

heasked。

"Youlookverywise。Igiveitup！"saidI。

"Sheisgonetheretomakethemajorfollowher。Hewentbythenexttrain。"

"Andhasthemajor，onhisside，droppedyoualine？"

"Heisnotaletter—writer。"

"Well，"saidI，pocketingmyletter，"withthisdocumentinmyhandI

amboundtoreservemyjudgment。WewillhaveabottleofJohannisberg，anddrinktothetriumphofvirtue。"

ForawholeweekmoreIheardnothingfromPickering——somewhattomysurprise，and，asthedayswentby，notalittletomydiscomposure。

Ihadexpectedthathisblisswouldcontinuetooverflowinbriefbulletins，andhissilencewaspossiblyanindicationthatithadbeenclouded。AtlastIwrotetohishotelatWiesbaden，butreceivednoanswer;whereupon，asmynextresource，IrepairedtohisformerlodgingatHomburg，whereIthoughtitpossiblehehadleftpropertywhichhewouldsoonerorlatersendfor。ThereIlearnedthathehadindeedjusttelegraphedfromCologneforhisluggage。ToCologneIimmediatelydespatchedalineofinquiryastohisprosperityandthecauseofhissilence。ThenextdayIreceivedthreewordsinanswer——asimpleuncommentedrequestthatIwouldcometohim。Ilostnotime，andreachedhiminthecourseofafewhours。ItwasdarkwhenIarrived，andthecitywassheetedinacoldautumnalrain。Pickeringhadstumbled，withanindifferencewhichwasitselfasymptomofdistress，onacertainmustyoldMainzerhof，andIfoundhimsittingoverasmoulderingfireinavastdingychamberwhichlookedasifithadgrowngraywithwatchingtheennuioftengenerationsoftravellers。Lookingathim，asheroseonmyentrance，Isawthathewasinextremetribulation。Hewaspaleandhaggard;hisfacewasfiveyearsolder。Now，atleast，inallconscience，hehadtastedofthecupoflife！Iwasanxioustoknowwhathadturneditsosuddenlytobitterness;butIsparedhimallimportunatecuriosity，andlethimtakehistime。Iacceptedtacitlyhistacitconfessionofdistress，andwemadeforawhileafeebleefforttodiscussthepicturesquenessofCologne。Atlastheroseandstoodalongtimelookingintothefire，whileIslowlypacedthelengthoftheduskyroom。

"Well！"hesaid，asIcameback;"Iwantedknowledge，andIcertainlyknowsomethingIdidn’tamonthago。"Andherewith，calmlyandsuccinctlyenough，asifdismayhadwornitselfout，herelatedthehistoryoftheforegoingdays。Hetouchedlightlyondetails;heevidentlyneverwastogushasfreelyagainashehaddoneduringtheprosperityofhissuit。Hehadbeenacceptedoneevening，asexplicitlyashisimaginationcoulddesire，andhadgoneforthinhisraptureandroamedabouttillnearlymorninginthegardensoftheConversation—house，takingthestarsandtheperfumesofthesummernightintohisconfidence。"Itisworthitall，almost，"hesaid，"tohavebeenwoundupforanhourtothatcelestialpitch。Noman，Iamsure，caneverknowitbutonce。"ThenextmorninghehadrepairedtoMadameBlumenthal’slodgingandhadbeenmet，tohisamazement，byanakedrefusaltoseehim。Hehadstrodeaboutforacoupleofhours——inanothermood——andthenhadreturnedtothecharge。Theservanthandedhimathree—cornerednote;itcontainedthesewords:"Leavemealoneto—day;Iwillgiveyoutenminutesto—

morrowevening。"Ofthenextthirty—sixhourshecouldgivenocoherentaccount，butattheappointedtimeMadameBlumenthalhadreceivedhim。Almostbeforeshespoketherehadcometohimasenseofthedepthofhisfollyinsupposingheknewher。"Onehasheardallone’sdays，"hesaid，"ofpeopleremovingthemask;it’soneofthestockphrasesofromance。Well，thereshestoodwithhermaskinherhand。Herface，"hewentongravely，afterapause——"herfacewashorrible！"……"Igiveyoutenminutes，"shehadsaid，pointingtotheclock。"Makeyourscene，tearyourhair，brandishyourdagger！"Andshehadsatdownandfoldedherarms。"It’snotajoke，"shecried，"it’sdeadearnest;letushaveitover。Youaredismissed——haveyounothingtosay？"Hehadstammeredsomefranticdemandforanexplanation;andshehadrisenandcomenearhim，lookingathimfromheadtofeet，verypale，andevidentlymoreexcitedthanshewishedhimtosee。"Ihavedonewithyou！"shesaid，withasmile;"yououghttohavedonewithme！Ithasallbeendelightful，butthereareexcellentreasonswhyitshouldcometoanend。""Youhavebeenplayingapart，then，"hehadgaspedout;"younevercaredforme？""Yes;tillIknewyou;tillIsawhowfaryouwouldgo。Butnowthestory’sfinished;wehavereachedthedenoument。Wewillclosethebookandbegoodfriends。""ToseehowfarIwouldgo？"hehadrepeated。"Youledmeon，meaningallthewhiletodoTHIS！""Iledyouon，ifyouwill。Ireceivedyourvisits，inseasonandout！Sometimestheywereveryentertaining;