下载辰思小说免费APP
Whenacounterorarowofshelvesinthestorebecameuseless，clerkscarrieditupthestairwayandthrewitonthepile。
DoctorReefy\'sofficewasaslargeasabarn。A
stovewitharoundpaunchsatinthemiddleoftheroom。Arounditsbasewaspiledsawdust，heldinplacebyheavyplanksnailedtothefloor。BythedoorstoodahugetablethathadoncebeenapartofthefurnitureofHerrick\'sClothingStoreandthathadbeenusedfordisplayingcustom-madeclothes。
Itwascoveredwithbooks，bottles，andsurgicalin-
struments。NeartheedgeofthetablelaythreeorfourapplesleftbyJohnSpaniard，atreenurserymanwhowasDoctorReefy\'sfriend，andwhohadslippedtheapplesoutofhispocketashecameinatthedoor。
AtmiddleageDoctorReefywastallandawk-
ward。Thegreybeardhelaterworehadnotyetap-
peared，butontheupperlipgrewabrownmustache。
Hewasnotagracefulman，aswhenhegrewolder，andwasmuchoccupiedwiththeproblemofdispos-
ingofhishandsandfeet。
Onsummerafternoons，whenshehadbeenmar-
riedmanyyearsandwhenhersonGeorgewasaboyoftwelveorfourteen，ElizabethWillardsome-
timeswentupthewornstepstoDoctorReefy\'sof-
fice。Alreadythewoman\'snaturallytallfigurehadbeguntodroopandtodragitselflistlesslyabout。
Ostensiblyshewenttoseethedoctorbecauseofherhealth，butonthehalfdozenoccasionswhenshehadbeentoseehimtheoutcomeofthevisitsdidnotprimarilyconcernherhealth。Sheandthedoctortalkedofthatbuttheytalkedmostofherlife，oftheirtwolivesandoftheideasthathadcometothemastheylivedtheirlivesinWinesburg。
Inthebigemptyofficethemanandthewomansatlookingateachotherandtheywereagooddealalike。Theirbodiesweredifferent，aswerealsothecoloroftheireyes，thelengthoftheirnoses，andthecircumstancesoftheirexistence，butsomethinginsidethemmeantthesamething，wantedthesamerelease，wouldhaveleftthesameimpressiononthememoryofanonlooker。Later，andwhenhegrewolderandmarriedayoungwife，thedoctoroftentalkedtoherofthehoursspentwiththesickwomanandexpressedagoodmanythingshehadbeenun-
abletoexpresstoElizabeth。Hewasalmostapoetinhisoldageandhisnotionofwhathappenedtookapoeticturn。"IhadcometothetimeinmylifewhenprayerbecamenecessaryandsoIinventedgodsandprayedtothem，"hesaid。"IdidnotsaymyprayersinwordsnordidIkneeldownbutsatperfectlystillinmychair。InthelateafternoonwhenitwashotandquietonMainStreetorinthewinterwhenthedaysweregloomy，thegodscameintotheofficeandIthoughtnooneknewaboutthem。ThenIfoundthatthiswomanElizabethknew，thatsheworshippedalsothesamegods。Ihaveanotionthatshecametotheofficebecauseshethoughtthegodswouldbetherebutshewashappytofindherselfnotalonejustthesame。Itwasanexperiencethatcannotbeexplained，althoughIsupposeitisalwayshappeningtomenandwomeninallsortsofplaces。"
OnthesummerafternoonswhenElizabethandthedoctorsatintheofficeandtalkedoftheirtwolivestheytalkedofotherlivesalso。Sometimesthedoctormadephilosophicepigrams。Thenhechuck-
ledwithamusement。Nowandthenafteraperiodofsilence，awordwassaidorahintgiventhatstrangelyilluminatedthefifeofthespeaker，awishbecameadesire，oradream，halfdead，flaredsud-
denlyintolife。Forthemostpartthewordscamefromthewomanandshesaidthemwithoutlookingattheman。
Eachtimeshecametoseethedoctorthehotelkeeper\'swifetalkedalittlemorefreelyandafteranhourortwoinhispresencewentdownthestairwayintoMainStreetfeelingrenewedandstrengthenedagainstthedullnessofherdays。Withsomethingapproachingagirlhoodswingtoherbodyshewalkedalong，butwhenshehadgotbacktoherchairbythewindowofherroomandwhendark-
nesshadcomeonandagirlfromthehoteldiningroombroughtherdinneronatray，sheletitgrowcold。Herthoughtsranawaytohergirlhoodwithitspassionatelongingforadventureandsheremem-
beredthearmsofmenthathadheldherwhenad-
venturewasapossiblethingforher。Particularlysherememberedonewhohadforatimebeenherloverandwhointhemomentofhispassionhadcriedouttohermorethanahundredtimes，sayingthesamewordsmadlyoverandover:"Youdear!Youdear!
Youlovelydear!"Thewords，shethought，ex-
pressedsomethingshewouldhavelikedtohaveachievedinlife。
Inherroomintheshabbyoldhotelthesickwifeofthehotelkeeperbegantoweepand，puttingherhandstoherface，rockedbackandforth。Thewordsofheronefriend，DoctorReefy，ranginherears。
"Loveislikeawindstirringthegrassbeneathtreesonablacknight，"hehadsaid。"Youmustnottrytomakelovedefinite。Itisthedivineaccidentoflife。
Ifyoutrytobedefiniteandsureaboutitandtolivebeneaththetrees，wheresoftnightwindsblow，thelonghotdayofdisappointmentcomesswiftlyandthegrittydustfrompassingwagonsgathersuponlipsinflamedandmadetenderbykisses。"
ElizabethWillardcouldnotrememberhermotherwhohaddiedwhenshewasbutfiveyearsold。Hergirlhoodhadbeenlivedinthemosthaphazardman-
nerimaginable。Herfatherwasamanwhohadwantedtobeletaloneandtheaffairsofthehotelwouldnotlethimalone。Healsohadlivedanddiedasickman。Everydayhearosewithacheerfulface，butbyteno\'clockinthemorningallthejoyhadgoneoutofhisheart。Whenaguestcomplainedofthefareinthehoteldiningroomoroneofthegirlswhomadeupthebedsgotmarriedandwentaway，hestampedonthefloorandswore。Atnightwhenhewenttobedhethoughtofhisdaughtergrowingupamongthestreamofpeoplethatdriftedinandoutofthehotelandwasovercomewithsadness。Asthegirlgrewolderandbegantowalkoutintheeveningwithmenhewantedtotalktoher，butwhenhetriedwasnotsuccessful。Healwaysforgotwhathewantedtosayandspentthetimecomplain-
ingofhisownaffairs。
InhergirlhoodandyoungwomanhoodElizabethhadtriedtobearealadventurerinlife。Ateighteenlifehadsogrippedherthatshewasnolongeravirginbut，althoughshehadahalfdozenloversbeforeshemarriedTomWillard，shehadneveren-
tereduponanadventurepromptedbydesirealone。
Likeallthewomenintheworld，shewantedareallover。Alwaystherewassomethingshesoughtblindly，passionately，somehiddenwonderinlife。
Thetallbeautifulgirlwiththeswingingstridewhohadwalkedunderthetreeswithmenwasforeverputtingoutherhandintothedarknessandtryingtogetholdofsomeotherhand。Inallthebabbleofwordsthatfellfromthelipsofthemenwithwhomsheadventuredshewastryingtofindwhatwouldbeforherthetrueword，ElizabethhadmarriedTomWillard，aclerkinherfather\'shotel，becausehewasathandandwantedtomarryatthetimewhenthedeterminationtomarrycametoher。Forawhile，likemostyounggirls，shethoughtmarriagewouldchangethefaceoflife。Iftherewasinhermindadoubtoftheout-
comeofthemarriagewithTomshebrusheditaside。
Herfatherwasillandneardeathatthetimeandshewasperplexedbecauseofthemeaninglessout-
comeofanaffairinwhichshehadjustbeenin-
volved。OthergirlsofherageinWinesburgweremarryingmenshehadalwaysknown，groceryclerksoryoungfarmers。IntheeveningtheywalkedinMainStreetwiththeirhusbandsandwhenshepassedtheysmiledhappily。Shebegantothinkthatthefactofmarriagemightbefullofsomehiddensignificance。Youngwiveswithwhomshetalkedspokesoftlyandshyly。"Itchangesthingstohaveamanofyourown，"theysaid。
Ontheeveningbeforehermarriagetheperplexedgirlhadatalkwithherfather。Latershewonderedifthehoursalonewiththesickmanhadnotledtoherdecisiontomarry。Thefathertalkedofhislifeandadvisedthedaughtertoavoidbeingledintoanothersuchmuddle。HeabusedTomWillard，andthatledElizabethtocometotheclerk\'sdefense。Thesickmanbecameexcitedandtriedtogetoutofbed。
Whenshewouldnotlethimwalkabouthebegantocomplain。"I\'veneverbeenletalone，"hesaid。
"AlthoughI\'veworkedhardI\'venotmadethehotelpay。EvennowIowemoneyatthebank。You\'llfindthatoutwhenI\'mgone。"
Thevoiceofthesickmanbecametensewithear-
nestness。Beingunabletoarise，heputouthishandandpulledthegirl\'sheaddownbesidehisown。
"There\'sawayout，"hewhispered。"Don\'tmarryTomWillardoranyoneelsehereinWinesburg。
Thereiseighthundreddollarsinatinboxinmytrunk。Takeitandgoaway。"
Againthesickman\'svoicebecamequerulous。
"You\'vegottopromise，"hedeclared。"Ifyouwon\'tpromisenottomarry，givemeyourwordthatyou\'llnevertellTomaboutthemoney。ItismineandifI
giveittoyouI\'vetherighttomakethatdemand。
Hideitaway。Itistomakeuptoyouformyfailureasafather。Sometimeitmayprovetobeadoor，agreatopendoortoyou。Comenow，ItellyouI\'mabouttodie，givemeyourpromise。"
InDoctorReefy\'soffice，Elizabeth，atiredgauntoldwomanatforty-one，satinachairnearthestoveandlookedatthefloor。Byasmalldesknearthewindowsatthedoctor。Hishandsplayedwithaleadpencilthatlayonthedesk。Elizabethtalkedofherlifeasamarriedwoman。Shebecameimpersonalandforgotherhusband，onlyusinghimasalayfiguretogivepointtohertale。"AndthenIwasmarriedanditdidnotturnoutatall，"shesaidbitterly。"AssoonasIhadgoneintoitIbegantobeafraid。PerhapsIknewtoomuchbeforeandthenperhapsIfoundouttoomuchduringmyfirstnightwithhim。Idon\'tremember。
"WhatafoolIwas。Whenfathergavemethemoneyandtriedtotalkmeoutofthethoughtofmarriage，Iwouldnotlisten。IthoughtofwhatthegirlswhoweremarriedhadsaidofitandIwantedmarriagealso。Itwasn\'tTomIwanted，itwasmar-
riage。WhenfatherwenttosleepIleanedoutofthewindowandthoughtofthelifeIhadled。Ididn\'twanttobeabadwoman。Thetownwasfullofsto-
riesaboutme。IevenbegantobeafraidTomwouldchangehismind。"
Thewoman\'svoicebegantoquiverwithexcite-
ment。ToDoctorReefy，whowithoutrealizingwhatwashappeninghadbeguntoloveher，therecameanoddillusion。Hethoughtthatasshetalkedthewoman\'sbodywaschanging，thatshewasbecom-
ingyounger，straighter，stronger。Whenhecouldnotshakeofftheillusionhismindgaveitaprofes-
sionaltwist。"Itisgoodforbothherbodyandhermind，thistalking，"hemuttered。
Thewomanbegantellingofanincidentthathadhappenedoneafternoonafewmonthsafterhermarriage。Hervoicebecamesteadier。"InthelateafternoonIwentforadrivealone，"shesaid。"IhadabuggyandalittlegreyponyIkeptinMoyer\'sLivery。Tomwaspaintingandrepaperingroomsinthehotel。HewantedmoneyandIwastryingtomakeupmymindtotellhimabouttheeighthun-
dreddollarsfatherhadgiventome。Icouldn\'tde-
cidetodoit。Ididn\'tlikehimwellenough。Therewasalwayspaintonhishandsandfaceduringthosedaysandhesmelledofpaint。Hewastryingtofixuptheoldhotel，andmakeitnewandsmart。"
Theexcitedwomansatupverystraightinherchairandmadeaquickgirlishmovementwithherhandasshetoldofthedrivealoneonthespringafternoon。"Itwascloudyandastormthreatened，"
shesaid。"Blackcloudsmadethegreenofthetreesandthegrassstandoutsothatthecolorshurtmyeyes。IwentoutTrunionPikeamileormoreandthenturnedintoasideroad。Thelittlehorsewentquicklyalonguphillanddown。Iwasimpatient。
ThoughtscameandIwantedtogetawayfrommythoughts。Ibegantobeatthehorse。Theblackcloudssettleddownanditbegantorain。Iwantedtogoataterriblespeed，todriveonandonforever。I
wantedtogetoutoftown，outofmyclothes，outofmymarriage，outofmybody，outofeverything。
Ialmostkilledthehorse，makinghimrun，andwhenhecouldnotrunanymoreIgotoutofthebuggyandranafootintothedarknessuntilIfellandhurtmyside。IwantedtorunawayfromeverythingbutIwantedtoruntowardssomethingtoo。Don\'tyousee，dear，howitwas？"
Elizabethsprangoutofthechairandbegantowalkaboutintheoffice。ShewalkedasDoctorReefythoughthehadneverseenanyonewalkbefore。Toherwholebodytherewasaswing，arhythmthatintoxicatedhim。Whenshecameandkneltonthefloorbesidehischairhetookherintohisarmsandbegantokissherpassionately。"Icriedallthewayhome，"shesaid，asshetriedtocontinuethestoryofherwildride，buthedidnotlisten。"Youdear!
Youlovelydear!Ohyoulovelydear!"hemutteredandthoughtheheldinhisarmsnotthetired-outwomanofforty-onebutalovelyandinnocentgirlwhohadbeenablebysomemiracletoprojecther-
selfoutofthehuskofthebodyofthetired-outwoman。
DoctorReefydidnotseethewomanhehadheldinhisarmsagainuntilafterherdeath。Onthesum-
merafternoonintheofficewhenhewasonthepointofbecomingherloverahalfgrotesquelittleincidentbroughthislove-makingquicklytoanend。
Asthemanandwomanheldeachothertightlyheavyfeetcametrampinguptheofficestairs。Thetwosprangtotheirfeetandstoodlisteningandtrembling。ThenoiseonthestairswasmadebyaclerkfromtheParisDryGoodsCompany。Withaloudbanghethrewanemptyboxonthepileofrubbishinthehallwayandthenwentheavilydownthestairs。Elizabethfollowedhimalmostimmedi-
ately。Thethingthathadcometolifeinherasshetalkedtoheronefrienddiedsuddenly。Shewashysterical，aswasalsoDoctorReefy，anddidnotwanttocontinuethetalk。Alongthestreetshewentwiththebloodstillsinginginherbody，butwhensheturnedoutofMainStreetandsawaheadthelightsoftheNewWillardHouse，shebegantotrem-
bleandherkneesshooksothatforamomentshethoughtshewouldfallinthestreet。
Thesickwomanspentthelastfewmonthsofherlifehungeringfordeath。Alongtheroadofdeathshewent，seeking，hungering。Shepersonifiedthefigureofdeathandmadehimnowastrongblack-
hairedyouthrunningoverhills，nowastemquietmanmarkedandscarredbythebusinessofliving。
Inthedarknessofherroomsheputoutherhand，thrustingitfromunderthecoversofherbed，andshethoughtthatdeathlikealivingthingputouthishandtoher。"Bepatient，lover，"shewhispered。
"Keepyourselfyoungandbeautifulandbepatient。"
OntheeveningwhendiseaselaiditsheavyhanduponheranddefeatedherplansfortellinghersonGeorgeoftheeighthundreddollarshiddenaway，shegotoutofbedandcrepthalfacrosstheroompleadingwithdeathforanotherhouroflife。"Wait，dear!Theboy!Theboy!Theboy!"shepleadedasshetriedwithallofherstrengthtofightoffthearmsofthelovershehadwantedsoearnestly。
ElizabethdiedonedayinMarchintheyearwhenhersonGeorgebecameeighteen，andtheyoungmanhadbutlittlesenseofthemeaningofherdeath。Onlytimecouldgivehimthat。Foramonthhehadseenherlyingwhiteandstillandspeechlessinherbed，andthenoneafternoonthedoctorstoppedhiminthehallwayandsaidafewwords。
Theyoungmanwentintohisownroomandclosedthedoor。Hehadaqueeremptyfeelingintheregionofhisstomach。Foramomenthesatstar-
ingat，thefloorandthenjumpingupwentforawalk。Alongthestationplatformhewent，andaroundthroughresidencestreetspastthehigh-
schoolbuilding，thinkingalmostentirelyofhisownaffairs。Thenotionofdeathcouldnotgetholdofhimandhewasinfactalittleannoyedthathismotherhaddiedonthatday。HehadjustreceivedanotefromHelenWhite，thedaughterofthetownbanker，inanswertoonefromhim。"TonightIcouldhavegonetoseeherandnowitwillhavetobeputoff，"hethoughthalfangrily。
ElizabethdiedonaFridayafternoonatthreeo\'clock。Ithadbeencoldandrainyinthemorningbutintheafternoonthesuncameout。Beforeshediedshelayparalyzedforsixdaysunabletospeakormoveandwithonlyhermindandhereyesalive。
Forthreeofthesixdaysshestruggled，thinkingofherboy，tryingtosaysomefewwordsinregardtohisfuture，andinhereyestherewasanappealsotouchingthatallwhosawitkeptthememoryofthedyingwomanintheirmindsforyears。EvenTomWillard，whohadalwayshalfresentedhiswife，for-
gothisresentmentandthetearsranoutofhiseyesandlodgedinhismustache。ThemustachehadbeguntoturngreyandTomcoloreditwithdye。
Therewasoilinthepreparationheusedforthepurposeandthetears，catchinginthemustacheandbeingbrushedawaybyhishand，formedafinemist-
likevapor。InhisgriefTomWillard\'sfacelookedlikethefaceofalittledogthathasbeenoutalongtimeinbitterweather。
GeorgecamehomealongMainStreetatdarkonthedayofhismother\'sdeathand，aftergoingtohisownroomtobrushhishairandclothes，wentalongthehallwayandintotheroomwherethebodylay。
TherewasacandleonthedressingtablebythedoorandDoctorReefysatinachairbythebed。Thedoctoraroseandstartedtogoout。Heputouthishandasthoughtogreettheyoungermanandthenawkwardlydrewitbackagain。Theairoftheroomwasheavywiththepresenceofthetwoself-
conscioushumanbeings，andthemanhurriedaway。
Thedeadwoman\'ssonsatdowninachairandlookedatthefloor。Heagainthoughtofhisownaffairsanddefinitelydecidedhewouldmakeachangeinhisfife，thathewouldleaveWinesburg。
"Iwillgotosomecity。PerhapsIcangetajobonsomenewspaper，"hethought，andthenhismindturnedtothegirlwithwhomhewastohavespentthiseveningandagainhewashalfangryattheturnofeventsthathadpreventedhisgoingtoher。
Inthedimlylightedroomwiththedeadwomantheyoungmanbegantohavethoughts。Hismindplayedwiththoughtsoflifeashismother\'smindhadplayedwiththethoughtofdeath。HeclosedhiseyesandimaginedthattheredyounglipsofHelenWhitetouchedhisownlips。Hisbodytrembledandhishandsshook。Andthensomethinghappened。
Theboysprangtohisfeetandstoodstiffly。Helookedatthefigureofthedeadwomanunderthesheetsandshameforhisthoughtssweptoverhimsothathebegantoweep。Anewnotioncameintohismindandheturnedandlookedguiltilyaboutasthoughafraidhewouldbeobserved。
GeorgeWillardbecamepossessedofamadnesstoliftthesheetfromthebodyofhismotherandlookatherface。Thethoughtthathadcomeintohismindgrippedhimterribly。Hebecameconvincedthatnothismotherbutsomeoneelselayinthebedbeforehim。Theconvictionwassorealthatitwasalmostunbearable。Thebodyunderthesheetswaslongandindeathlookedyoungandgraceful。Totheboy，heldbysomestrangefancy，itwasunspeakablylovely。Thefeelingthatthebodybeforehimwasalive，thatinanothermomentalovelywomanwouldspringoutofthebedandconfronthim，be-
camesooverpoweringthathecouldnotbearthesuspense。Againandagainheputouthishand。
Oncehetouchedandhalfliftedthewhitesheetthatcoveredher，buthiscouragefailedandhe，likeDoc-
torReefy，turnedandwentoutoftheroom。Inthehallwayoutsidethedoorhestoppedandtrembledsothathehadtoputahandagainstthewalltosupporthimself。"That\'snotmymother。That\'snotmymotherinthere，"hewhisperedtohimselfandagainhisbodyshookwithfrightanduncertainty。
WhenAuntElizabethSwift，whohadcometowatchoverthebody，cameoutofanadjoiningroomheputhishandintohersandbegantosob，shakinghisheadfromsidetoside，halfblindwithgrief。"Mymotherisdead，"hesaid，andthenforgettingthewomanheturnedandstaredatthedoorthroughwhichhehadjustcome。"Thedear，thedear，ohthelovelydear，"theboy，urgedbysomeimpulseoutsidehimself，mutteredaloud。
AsfortheeighthundreddollarsthedeadwomanhadkepthiddensolongandthatwastogiveGeorgeWillardhisstartinthecity，itlayinthetinboxbehindtheplasterbythefootofhismother\'sbed。Elizabethhadputitthereaweekafterhermar-
riage，breakingtheplasterawaywithastick。Thenshegotoneoftheworkmenherhusbandwasatthattimeemployingaboutthehoteltomendthewall。"Ijammedthecornerofthebedagainstit，"
shehadexplainedtoherhusband，unableatthemomenttogiveupherdreamofrelease，thereleasethatafterallcametoherbuttwiceinherlife，inthemomentswhenherloversDeathandDoctorReefyheldherintheirarms。
SOPHISTICATION
ITWASEARLYeveningofadayin，thelatefallandtheWinesburgCountyFairhadbroughtcrowdsofcountrypeopleintotown。Thedayhadbeenclearandthenightcameonwarmandpleasant。OntheTrunionPike，wheretheroadafteritlefttownstretchedawaybetweenberryfieldsnowcoveredwithdrybrownleaves，thedustfrompassingwag-
onsaroseinclouds。Children，curledintolittleballs，sleptonthestrawscatteredonwagonbeds。Theirhairwasfullofdustandtheirfingersblackandsticky。Thedustrolledawayoverthefieldsandthedepartingsunsetitablazewithcolors。
InthemainstreetofWinesburgcrowdsfilledthestoresandthesidewalks。Nightcameon，horseswhinnied，theclerksinthestoresranmadlyabout，childrenbecamelostandcriedlustily，anAmericantownworkedterriblyatthetaskofamusingitself。
PushinghiswaythroughthecrowdsinMainStreet，youngGeorgeWillardconcealedhimselfinthestairwayleadingtoDoctorReefy\'sofficeandlookedatthepeople。Withfeverisheyeshewatchedthefacesdriftingpastunderthestorelights。
Thoughtskeptcomingintohisheadandhedidnotwanttothink。Hestampedimpatientlyonthewoodenstepsandlookedsharplyabout。"Well，isshegoingtostaywithhimallday？HaveIdoneallthiswaitingfornothing？"hemuttered。
GeorgeWillard，theOhiovillageboy，wasfastgrowingintomanhoodandnewthoughtshadbeencomingintohismind。Allthatday，amidthejamofpeopleattheFair，hehadgoneaboutfeelinglonely。
HewasabouttoleaveWinesburgtogoawaytosomecitywherehehopedtogetworkonacitynewspaperandhefeltgrownup。Themoodthathadtakenpossessionofhimwasathingknowntomenandunknowntoboys。Hefeltoldandalittletired。Memoriesawokeinhim。Tohismindhisnewsenseofmaturitysethimapart，madeofhimahalf-
tragicfigure。Hewantedsomeonetounderstandthefeelingthathadtakenpossessionofhimafterhismother\'sdeath。
Thereisatimeinthelifeofeveryboywhenheforthefirsttimetakesthebackwardviewoflife。
Perhapsthatisthemomentwhenhecrossesthelineintomanhood。Theboyiswalkingthroughthestreetofhistown。Heisthinkingofthefutureandofthefigurehewillcutintheworld。Ambitionsandre-
gretsawakewithinhim。Suddenlysomethinghap-
pens；hestopsunderatreeandwaitsasforavoicecallinghisname。Ghostsofoldthingscreepintohisconsciousness；thevoicesoutsideofhimselfwhisperamessageconcerningthelimitationsoflife。Frombeingquitesureofhimselfandhisfuturehebe-
comesnotatallsure。Ifhebeanimaginativeboyadooristomopenandforthefirsttimehelooksoutupontheworld，seeing，asthoughtheymarchedinprocessionbeforehim，thecountlessfiguresofmenwhobeforehistimehavecomeoutofnothingnessintotheworld，livedtheirlivesandagaindisap-
pearedintonothingness。Thesadnessofsophistica-
tionhascometotheboy。Withalittlegaspheseeshimselfasmerelyaleafblownbythewindthroughthestreetsofhisvillage。Heknowsthatinspiteofallthestouttalkofhisfellowshemustliveanddieinuncertainty，athingblownbythewinds，athingdestinedlikecorntowiltinthesun。Heshiversandlookseagerlyabout。Theeighteenyearshehaslivedseembutamoment，abreathingspaceinthelongmarchofhumanity。Alreadyhehearsdeathcalling。
Withallhishearthewantstocomeclosetosomeotherhuman，touchsomeonewithhishands，betouchedbythehandofanother。Ifheprefersthattheotherbeawoman，thatisbecausehebelievesthatawomanwillbegentle，thatshewillunder-
stand。Hewants，mostofall，understanding。
WhenthemomentofsophisticationcametoGeorgeWillardhismindturnedtoHelenWhite，theWines-
burgbanker\'sdaughter。Alwayshehadbeencon-
sciousofthegirlgrowingintowomanhoodashegrewintomanhood。Onceonasummernightwhenhewaseighteen，hehadwalkedwithheronacoun-
tryroadandinherpresencehadgivenwaytoanimpulsetoboast，tomakehimselfappearbigandsignificantinhereyes。Nowhewantedtoseeherforanotherpurpose。Hewantedtotellherofthenewimpulsesthathadcometohim。Hehadtriedtomakeherthinkofhimasamanwhenheknewnothingofmanhoodandnowhewantedtobewithherandtotrytomakeherfeelthechangehebe-
lievedhadtakenplaceinhisnature。
AsforHelenWhite，shealsohadcometoaperiodofchange。WhatGeorgefelt，sheinheryoungwom-
an\'swayfeltalso。Shewasnolongeragirlandhungeredtoreachintothegraceandbeautyofwomanhood。ShehadcomehomefromCleveland，whereshewasattendingcollege，tospendadayattheFair。Shealsohadbeguntohavememories。Dur-
ingthedayshesatinthegrand-standwithayoungman，oneoftheinstructorsfromthecollege，whowasaguestofhermother\'s。Theyoungmanwasofapedanticturnofmindandshefeltatoncehewouldnotdoforherpurpose。AttheFairshewasgladtobeseeninhiscompanyashewaswelldressedandastranger。Sheknewthatthefactofhispresencewouldcreateanimpression。Duringthedayshewashappy，butwhennightcameonshebegantogrowrestless。Shewantedtodrivethein-
structoraway，togetoutofhispresence。Whiletheysattogetherinthegrand-standandwhiletheeyesofformerschoolmateswereuponthem，shepaidsomuchattentiontoherescortthathegrewinterested。
"Ascholarneedsmoney。Ishouldmarryawomanwithmoney，"hemused。
HelenWhitewasthinkingofGeorgeWillardevenashewanderedgloomilythroughthecrowdsthink-
ingofher。Sherememberedthesummereveningwhentheyhadwalkedtogetherandwantedtowalkwithhimagain。Shethoughtthatthemonthsshehadspentinthecity，thegoingtotheatersandtheseeingofgreatcrowdswanderinginlightedthor-
oughfares，hadchangedherprofoundly。Shewantedhimtofeelandbeconsciousofthechangeinhernature。
Thesummereveningtogetherthathadleftitsmarkonthememoryofboththeyoungmanandwomanhad，whenlookedatquitesensibly，beenratherstupidlyspent。Theyhadwalkedoutoftownalongacountryroad。ThentheyhadstoppedbyafencenearafieldofyoungcornandGeorgehadtakenoffhiscoatandletithangonhisarm。"Well，I\'vestayedhereinWinesburg——yes——I\'venotyetgoneawaybutI\'mgrowingup，"hehadsaid。"I\'vebeenreadingbooksandI\'vebeenthinking。I\'mgoingtotrytoamounttosomethinginlife。
"Well，"heexplained，"thatisn\'tthepoint。Per-
hapsI\'dbetterquittalking。"
Theconfusedboyputhishandonthegirl\'sarm。
Hisvoicetrembled。Thetwostartedtowalkbackalongtheroadtowardtown。InhisdesperationGeorgeboasted，"I\'mgoingtobeabigman，thebiggestthateverlivedhereinWinesburg，"hede-
clared。"Iwantyoutodosomething，Idon\'tknowwhat。Perhapsitisnoneofmybusiness。Iwantyoutotrytobedifferentfromotherwomen。Youseethepoint。It\'snoneofmybusinessItellyou。Iwantyoutobeabeautifulwoman。YouseewhatIwant。"
Theboy\'svoicefailedandinsilencethetwocamebackintotownandwentalongthestreettoHelenWhite\'shouse。Atthegatehetriedtosaysomethingimpressive。Speecheshehadthoughtoutcameintohishead，buttheyseemedutterlypointless。"I
thought——Iusedtothink——IhaditinmymindyouwouldmarrySethRichmond。NowIknowyouwon\'t，"wasallhecouldfindtosayasshewentthroughthegateandtowardthedoorofherhouse。
Onthewarmfalleveningashestoodinthestair-
wayandlookedatthecrowddriftingthroughMainStreet，Georgethoughtofthetalkbesidethefieldofyoungcornandwasashamedofthefigurehehadmadeofhimself。Inthestreetthepeoplesurgedupanddownlikecattleconfinedinapen。Buggiesandwagonsalmostfilledthenarrowthoroughfare。A
bandplayedandsmallboysracedalongtheside-
walk，divingbetweenthelegsofmen。Youngmenwithshiningredfaceswalkedawkwardlyaboutwithgirlsontheirarms。Inaroomaboveoneofthestores，whereadancewastobeheld，thefiddlerstunedtheirinstruments。Thebrokensoundsfloateddownthroughanopenwindowandoutacrossthemurmurofvoicesandtheloudblareofthehornsoftheband。ThemedleyofsoundsgotonyoungWillard\'snerves。Everywhere，onallsides，thesenseofcrowding，movinglifeclosedinabouthim。Hewantedtorunawaybyhimselfandthink。"Ifshewantstostaywiththatfellowshemay。WhyshouldIcare？Whatdifferencedoesitmaketome？"hegrowledandwentalongMainStreetandthroughHern\'sGroceryintoasidestreet。
Georgefeltsoutterlylonelyanddejectedthathewantedtoweepbutpridemadehimwalkrapidlyalong，swinginghisarms。HecametoWesleyMoy-
er\'sliverybarnandstoppedintheshadowstolistentoagroupofmenwhotalkedofaraceWesley\'sstallion，TonyTip，hadwonattheFairduringtheafternoon。AcrowdhadgatheredinfrontofthebarnandbeforethecrowdwalkedWesley，prancingupanddownboasting。Heheldawhipinhishandandkepttappingtheground。Littlepuffsofdustaroseinthelamplight。"Hell，quityourtalking，"
Wesleyexclaimed。"Iwasn\'tafraid，IknewIhad\'embeatallthetime。Iwasn\'tafraid。"
OrdinarilyGeorgeWillardwouldhavebeenin-
tenselyinterestedintheboastingofMoyer，thehorseman。Nowitmadehimangry。Heturnedandhurriedawayalongthestreet。"Oldwindbag，"hesputtered。"Whydoeshewanttobebragging？Whydon\'theshutup？"
Georgewentintoavacantlotand，ashehurriedalong，felloverapileofrubbish。Anailprotrudingfromanemptybarreltorehistrousers。Hesatdownonthegroundandswore。Withapinhemendedthetornplaceandthenaroseandwenton。"I\'llgotoHelenWhite\'shouse，that\'swhatI\'lldo。I\'llwalkrightin。I\'llsaythatIwanttoseeher。I\'llwalkrightinandsitdown，that\'swhatI\'lldo，"hedeclared，climbingoverafenceandbeginningtorun。
OntheverandaofBankerWhite\'shouseHelenwasrestlessanddistraught。Theinstructorsatbe-
tweenthemotheranddaughter。Histalkweariedthegirl。AlthoughhehadalsobeenraisedinanOhiotown，theinstructorbegantoputontheairsofthecity。Hewantedtoappearcosmopolitan。"I
likethechanceyouhavegivenmetostudytheback-
groundoutofwhichmostofourgirlscome，"hedeclared。"Itwasgoodofyou，Mrs。White，tohavemedownfortheday。"HeturnedtoHelenandlaughed。"Yourlifeisstillboundupwiththelifeofthistown？"heasked。"Therearepeoplehereinwhomyouareinterested？"Tothegirlhisvoicesoundedpompousandheavy。
Helenaroseandwentintothehouse。Atthedoorleadingtoagardenatthebackshestoppedandstoodlistening。Hermotherbegantotalk。"ThereisnooneherefittoassociatewithagirlofHelen\'sbreeding，"shesaid。
Helenrandownaflightofstairsatthebackofthehouseandintothegarden。Inthedarknessshestoppedandstoodtrembling。Itseemedtoherthattheworldwasfullofmeaninglesspeoplesayingwords。Afirewitheagernesssheranthroughagar-
dengateand，turningacornerbythebanker\'sbarn，wentintoalittlesidestreet。"George!Whereareyou，George？"shecried，filledwithnervousexcite-
ment。Shestoppedrunning，andleanedagainstatreetolaughhysterically。AlongthedarklittlestreetcameGeorgeWillard，stillsayingwords。"I\'mgoingtowalkrightintoherhouse。I\'llgorightinandsitdown，"hedeclaredashecameuptoher。Hestoppedandstaredstupidly。"Comeon，"hesaidandtookholdofherhand。Withhangingheadstheywalkedawayalongthestreetunderthetrees。Dryleavesrustledunderfoot。NowthathehadfoundherGeorgewonderedwhathehadbetterdoandsay。
AttheupperendoftheFairGround，inWines-
burg，thereisahalfdecayedoldgrand-stand。Ithasneverbeenpaintedandtheboardsareallwarpedoutofshape。TheFairGroundstandsontopofalowhillrisingoutofthevalleyofWineCreekandfromthegrand-standonecanseeatnight，overacornfield，thelightsofthetownreflectedagainstthesky。
GeorgeandHelenclimbedthehilltotheFairGround，comingbythepathpastWaterworksPond。
ThefeelingoflonelinessandisolationthathadcometotheyoungmaninthecrowdedstreetsofhistownwasbothbrokenandintensifiedbythepresenceofHelen。Whathefeltwasreflectedinher。
Inyouththerearealwaystwoforcesfightinginpeople。Thewarmunthinkinglittleanimalstrugglesagainstthethingthatreflectsandremembers，andtheolder，themoresophisticatedthinghadposses-
sionofGeorgeWillard。Sensinghismood，Helenwalkedbesidehimfilledwithrespect。Whentheygottothegrand-standtheyclimbedupundertheroofandsatdownononeofthelongbench-likeseats。
ThereissomethingmemorableintheexperiencetobehadbygoingintoafairgroundthatstandsattheedgeofaMiddleWesterntownonanightaftertheannualfairhasbeenheld。Thesensationisonenevertobeforgotten。Onallsidesareghosts，notofthedead，butoflivingpeople。Here，duringthedayjustpassed，havecomethepeoplepouringinfromthetownandthecountryaround。Farmerswiththeirwivesandchildrenandallthepeoplefromthehundredsoflittleframehouseshavegath-
eredwithintheseboardwalls。Younggirlshavelaughedandmenwithbeardshavetalkedoftheaffairsoftheirlives。Theplacehasbeenfilledtooverflowingwithlife。Ithasitchedandsquirmedwithlifeandnowitisnightandthelifehasallgoneaway。Thesilenceisalmostterrifying。Oneconcealsoneselfstandingsilentlybesidethetrunkofatreeandwhatthereisofareflectivetendencyinhisna-
tureisintensified。Oneshuddersatthethoughtofthemeaninglessnessoflifewhileatthesamein-
stant，andifthepeopleofthetownarehispeople，oneloveslifesointenselythattearscomeintotheeyes。
Inthedarknessundertheroofofthegrand-stand，GeorgeWillardsatbesideHelenWhiteandfeltverykeenlyhisowninsignificanceintheschemeofexis-
tence。Nowthathehadcomeoutoftownwherethepresenceofthepeoplestirringabout，busywithamultitudeofaffairs，hadbeensoirritating，theirritationwasallgone。ThepresenceofHelenre-
newedandrefreshedhim。Itwasasthoughherwoman\'shandwasassistinghimtomakesomemi-
nutereadjustmentofthemachineryofhislife。Hebegantothinkofthepeopleinthetownwherehehadalwayslivedwithsomethinglikereverence。
HehadreverenceforHelen。Hewantedtoloveandtobelovedbyher，buthedidnotwantatthemo-
menttobeconfusedbyherwomanhood。Inthedarknesshetookholdofherhandandwhenshecreptcloseputahandonhershoulder。Awindbegantoblowandheshivered。Withallhisstrengthhetriedtoholdandtounderstandthemoodthathadcomeuponhim。Inthathighplaceinthedark-
nessthetwooddlysensitivehumanatomsheldeachothertightlyandwaited。Inthemindofeachwasthesamethought。"Ihavecometothislonelyplaceandhereisthisother，"wasthesubstanceofthethingfelt。
InWinesburgthecrowdeddayhadrunitselfoutintothelongnightofthelatefall。Farmhorsesjoggedawayalonglonelycountryroadspullingtheirportionofwearypeople。Clerksbegantobringsam-
plesofgoodsinoffthesidewalksandlockthedoorsofstores。IntheOperaHouseacrowdhadgatheredtoseeashowandfurtherdownMainStreetthefiddlers，theirinstrumentstuned，sweatedandworkedtokeepthefeetofyouthflyingoveradancefloor。
Inthedarknessinthegrand-standHelenWhiteandGeorgeWillardremainedsilent。Nowandthenthespellthatheldthemwasbrokenandtheyturnedandtriedinthedimlighttoseeintoeachother\'seyes。Theykissedbutthatimpulsedidnotlast。AttheupperendoftheFairGroundahalfdozenmenworkedoverhorsesthathadracedduringtheafter-
noon。Themenhadbuiltafireandwereheatingkettlesofwater。Onlytheirlegscouldbeseenastheypassedbackandforthinthelight。Whenthewindblewthelittleflamesofthefiredancedcrazilyabout。
GeorgeandHelenaroseandwalkedawayintothedarkness。Theywentalongapathpastafieldofcornthathadnotyetbeencut。Thewindwhisperedamongthedrycornblades。Foramomentduringthewalkbackintotownthespellthatheldthemwasbroken。WhentheyhadcometothecrestofWaterworksHilltheystoppedbyatreeandGeorgeagainputhishandsonthegirl\'sshoulders。Sheem-
bracedhimeagerlyandthenagaintheydrewquicklybackfromthatimpulse。Theystoppedkiss-
ingandstoodalittleapart。Mutualrespectgrewbiginthem。Theywerebothembarrassedandtorelievetheirembarrassmentdroppedintotheanimalismofyouth。Theylaughedandbegantopullandhaulateachother。Insomewaychastenedandpurifiedbythemoodtheyhadbeenin，theybecame，notmanandwoman，notboyandgirl，butexcitedlittleanimals。
Itwassotheywentdownthehill。Inthedarknesstheyplayedliketwosplendidyoungthingsinayoungworld。Once，runningswiftlyforward，HelentrippedGeorgeandhefell。Hesquirmedandshouted。
Shakingwithlaughter，heroileddownthehill。
Helenranafterhim。Forjustamomentshestoppedinthedarkness。Therewasnowayofknowingwhatwoman\'sthoughtswentthroughhermindbut，whenthebottomofthehillwasreachedandshecameuptotheboy，shetookhisarmandwalkedbesidehimindignifiedsilence。Forsomereasontheycouldnothaveexplainedtheyhadbothgotfromtheirsilenteveningtogetherthethingneeded。
Manorboy，womanorgirl，theyhadforamomenttakenholdofthethingthatmakesthematurelifeofmenandwomeninthemodernworldpossible。
DEPARTURE
YOUNGGEORGEWILLARDgotoutofbedatfourinthemorning。ItwasAprilandtheyoungtreeleaveswerejustcomingoutoftheirbuds。ThetreesalongtheresidencestreetsinWinesburgaremapleandtheseedsarewinged。Whenthewindblowstheywhirlcrazilyabout，fillingtheairandmakingacar-
petunderfoot。
Georgecamedownstairsintothehotelofficecar-
ryingabrownleatherbag。Histrunkwaspackedfordeparture。Sincetwoo\'clockhehadbeenawakethinkingofthejourneyhewasabouttotakeandwonderingwhathewouldfindattheendofhisjourney。Theboywhosleptinthehotelofficelayonacotbythedoor。Hismouthwasopenandhesnoredlustily。Georgecreptpastthecotandwentoutintothesilentdesertedmainstreet。Theeastwaspinkwiththedawnandlongstreaksoflightclimbedintotheskywhereafewstarsstillshone。
BeyondthelasthouseonTrunionPikeinWines-
burgthereisagreatstretchofopenfields。ThefieldsareownedbyfarmerswholiveintownanddrivehomewardateveningalongTrunionPikeinlightcreakingwagons。Inthefieldsareplantedberriesandsmallfruits。Inthelateafternooninthehotsummerswhentheroadandthefieldsarecoveredwithdust，asmokyhazeliesoverthegreatflatbasinofland。Tolookacrossitislikelookingoutacrossthesea。Inthespringwhenthelandisgreentheeffectissomewhatdifferent。Thelandbecomesawidegreenbilliardtableonwhichtinyhumanin-
sectstoilupanddown。
AllthroughhisboyhoodandyoungmanhoodGeorgeWillardhadbeeninthehabitofwalkingonTrunionPike。Hehadbeeninthemidstofthegreatopenplaceonwinternightswhenitwascoveredwithsnowandonlythemoonlookeddownathim；
hehadbeenthereinthefallwhenbleakwindsblewandonsummereveningswhentheairvibratedwiththesongofinsects。OntheAprilmorninghewantedtogothereagain，towalkagaininthesilence。Hedidwalktowheretheroaddippeddownbyalittlestreamtwomilesfromtownandthenturnedandwalkedsilentlybackagain。WhenhegottoMainStreetclerksweresweepingthesidewalksbeforethestores。"Hey，youGeorge。Howdoesitfeeltobegoingaway？"theyasked。
ThewestboundtrainleavesWinesburgatsevenforty-fiveinthemorning。TomLittleisconductor。
HistrainrunsfromClevelandtowhereitconnectswithagreattrunklinerailroadwithterminalsinChicagoandNewYork。Tomhaswhatinrailroadcirclesiscalledan"easyrun。"Everyeveninghereturnstohisfamily。InthefallandspringhespendshisSundaysfishinginLakeErie。Hehasaroundredfaceandsmallblueeyes。Heknowsthepeopleinthetownsalonghisrailroadbetterthanacitymanknowsthepeoplewholiveinhisapart-
mentbuilding。
GeorgecamedownthelittleinclinefromtheNewWillardHouseatseveno\'clock。TomWillardcarriedhisbag。Thesonhadbecometallerthanthefather。
Onthestationplatformeveryoneshooktheyoungman\'shand。Morethanadozenpeoplewaitedabout。Thentheytalkedoftheirownaffairs。EvenWillHenderson，whowaslazyandoftensleptuntilnine，hadgotoutofbed。Georgewasembarrassed。
GertrudeWilmot，atallthinwomanoffiftywhoworkedintheWinesburgpostoffice，camealongthestationplatform。ShehadneverbeforepaidanyattentiontoGeorge。Nowshestoppedandputoutherhand。Intwowordsshevoicedwhateveryonefelt。"Goodluck，"shesaidsharplyandthenturningwentonherway。
WhenthetraincameintothestationGeorgefeltrelieved。Hescamperedhurriedlyaboard。HelenWhitecamerunningalongMainStreethopingtohaveapartingwordwithhim，buthehadfoundaseatanddidnotseeher。WhenthetrainstartedTomLittlepunchedhisticket，grinnedand，althoughheknewGeorgewellandknewonwhatadventurehewasjustsettingout，madenocomment。TomhadseenathousandGeorgeWillardsgooutoftheirtownstothecity。Itwasacommonplaceenoughincidentwithhim。InthesmokingcartherewasamanwhohadjustinvitedTomtogoonafishingtriptoSanduskyBay。Hewantedtoaccepttheinvi-
tationandtalkoverdetails。
Georgeglancedupanddownthecartobesurenoonewaslooking，thentookouthispocketbookandcountedhismoney。Hismindwasoccupiedwithadesirenottoappeargreen。Almostthelastwordshisfatherhadsaidtohimconcernedthemat-
terofhisbehaviorwhenhegottothecity。"Beasharpone，"TomWillardhadsaid。"Keepyoureyesonyourmoney。Beawake。That\'stheticket。Don\'tletanyonethinkyou\'reagreenhorn。"
AfterGeorgecountedhismoneyhelookedoutofthewindowandwassurprisedtoseethatthetrainwasstillinWinesburg。
Theyoungman，goingoutofhistowntomeettheadventureoflife，begantothinkbuthedidnotthinkofanythingverybigordramatic。Thingslikehismother\'sdeath，hisdeparturefromWinesburg，theuncertaintyofhisfuturelifeinthecity，theseri-
ousandlargeraspectsofhislifedidnotcomeintohismind。
Hethoughtoflittlethings——TurkSmolletwheel-
ingboardsthroughthemainstreetofhistowninthemorning，atallwoman，beautifullygowned，whohadoncestayedovernightathisfather\'shotel，ButchWheelerthelamplighterofWinesburghur-
ryingthroughthestreetsonasummereveningandholdingatorchinhishand，HelenWhitestandingbyawindowintheWinesburgpostofficeandput-
tingastamponanenvelope。
Theyoungman\'smindwascarriedawaybyhisgrowingpassionfordreams。Onelookingathimwouldnothavethoughthimparticularlysharp。
Withtherecollectionoflittlethingsoccupyinghismindheclosedhiseyesandleanedbackinthecarseat。HestayedthatwayforalongtimeandwhenhearousedhimselfandagainlookedoutofthecarwindowthetownofWinesburghaddisappearedandhislifetherehadbecomebutabackgroundonwhichtopaintthedreamsofhismanhood。
