下载辰思小说免费APP
\'ForSOMEthingsonly-Iwonderwhatshouldmakeyouregretit？\'
Iwasannoyedatthisinsomedegree；becauseitembarrassedme:
I
hadonlyonereasonforregrettingit；andthatwasaprofoundsecret，whichhehadnobusinesstotroublemeabout。
\'Why，\'saidI-\'whyshouldyousupposethatIdisliketheplace？\'
\'Youtoldmesoyourself，\'wasthedecisivereply。\'Yousaid，atleast，thatyoucouldnotlivecontentedly，withoutafriend；andthatyouhadnofriendhere，andnopossibilityofmakingone-
and，besides，IknowyouMUSTdislikeit。\'
\'Butifyourememberrightly，Isaid，ormeanttosay，Icouldnotlivecontentedlywithoutafriendintheworld:Iwasnotsounreasonableastorequireonealwaysnearme。IthinkIcouldbehappyinahousefullofenemies，if-\'butno；thatsentencemustnotbecontinued-Ipaused，andhastilyadded，-\'And，besides，wecannotwellleaveaplacewherewehavelivedfortwoorthreeyears，withoutsomefeelingofregret。\'
\'WillyouregrettopartwithMissMurray，yoursoleremainingpupilandcompanion？\'
\'IdaresayIshallinsomedegree:itwasnotwithoutsorrowI
partedwithhersister。\'
\'Icanimaginethat。\'
\'Well，MissMatildaisquiteasgood-betterinonerespect。\'
\'Whatisthat？\'
\'She\'shonest。\'
\'Andtheotherisnot？\'
\'IshouldnotcallherDIShonest；butitmustbeconfessedshe\'salittleartful。\'
\'ARTFULisshe？-Isawshewasgiddyandvain-andnow，\'headded，afterapause，\'Icanwellbelieveshewasartfultoo；butsoexcessivelysoastoassumeanaspectofextremesimplicityandunguardedopenness。Yes，\'continuedhe，musingly，\'thataccountsforsomelittlethingsthatpuzzledmeatriflebefore。\'
Afterthat，heturnedtheconversationtomoregeneralsubjects。
Hedidnotleavemetillwehadnearlyreachedthepark-gates:
hehadcertainlysteppedalittleoutofhiswaytoaccompanymesofar，forhenowwentbackanddisappeareddownMossLane，theentranceofwhichwehadpassedsometimebefore。AssuredlyI
didnotregretthiscircumstance:ifsorrowhadanyplaceinmyheart，itwasthathewasgoneatlast-thathewasnolongerwalkingbymyside，andthatthatshortintervalofdelightfulintercoursewasatanend。Hehadnotbreathedawordoflove，ordroppedonehintoftendernessoraffection，andyetIhadbeensupremelyhappy。
Tobenearhim，tohearhimtalkashedidtalk，andtofeelthathethoughtmeworthytobesospokento-capableofunderstandinganddulyappreciatingsuchdiscourse-wasenough。
\'Yes，EdwardWeston，Icouldindeedbehappyinahousefullofenemies，ifIhadbutonefriend，whotruly，deeply，andfaithfullylovedme；andifthatfriendwereyou-thoughwemightbefarapart-seldomtohearfromeachother，stillmoreseldomtomeet-
thoughtoil，andtrouble，andvexationmightsurroundme，still-
itwouldbetoomuchhappinessformetodreamof!Yetwhocantell，\'saidIwithinmyself，asIproceededupthepark，-\'whocantellwhatthisonemonthmaybringforth？Ihavelivednearlythree-and-twentyyears，andIhavesufferedmuch，andtastedlittlepleasureyet；isitlikelymylifeallthroughwillbesoclouded？
IsitnotpossiblethatGodmayhearmyprayers，dispersethesegloomyshadows，andgrantmesomebeamsofheaven\'ssunshineyet？
WillHeentirelydenytomethoseblessingswhicharesofreelygiventoothers，whoneitheraskthemnoracknowledgethemwhenreceived？MayInotstillhopeandtrust？Ididhopeandtrustforawhile:but，alas，alas!thetimeebbedaway:oneweekfollowedanother，and，exceptingonedistantglimpseandtwotransientmeetings-duringwhichscarcelyanythingwassaid-
whileIwaswalkingwithMissMatilda，Isawnothingofhim:
except，ofcourse，atchurch。
Andnow，thelastSundaywascome，andthelastservice。Iwasoftenonthepointofmeltingintotearsduringthesermon-thelastIwastohearfromhim:thebestIshouldhearfromanyone，I
waswellassured。Itwasover-thecongregationweredeparting；
andImustfollow。Ihadthenseenhim，andheardhisvoice，too，probablyforthelasttime。Inthechurchyard，MatildawaspounceduponbythetwoMissesGreen。Theyhadmanyinquiriestomakeabouthersister，andIknownotwhatbesides。Ionlywishedtheywouldhavedone，thatwemighthastenbacktoHortonLodge:I
longedtoseektheretirementofmyownroom，orsomesequesterednookinthegrounds，thatImightdelivermyselfuptomyfeelings-toweepmylastfarewell，andlamentmyfalsehopesandvaindelusions。Onlythisonce，andthenadieutofruitlessdreaming-
thenceforth，onlysober，solid，sadrealityshouldoccupymymind。
ButwhileIthusresolved，alowvoiceclosebesidemesaid-\'I
supposeyouaregoingthisweek，MissGrey？\'\'Yes，\'Ireplied。
I
wasverymuchstartled；andhadIbeenatallhystericallyinclined，Icertainlyshouldhavecommittedmyselfinsomewaythen。ThankGod，Iwasnot。
\'Well，\'saidMr。Weston，\'Iwanttobidyougood-bye-itisnotlikelyIshallseeyouagainbeforeyougo。\'
\'Good-bye，Mr。Weston，\'Isaid。Oh，howIstruggledtosayitcalmly!Igavehimmyhand。Heretaineditafewsecondsinhis。
\'Itispossiblewemaymeetagain，\'saidhe；\'willitbeofanyconsequencetoyouwhetherwedoornot？\'
\'Yes，Ishouldbeverygladtoseeyouagain。\'
ICOULDsaynoless。Hekindlypressedmyhand，andwent。
Now，I
washappyagain-thoughmoreinclinedtoburstintotearsthanever。IfIhadbeenforcedtospeakatthatmoment，asuccessionofsobswouldhaveinevitablyensued；andasitwas，Icouldnotkeepthewateroutofmyeyes。IwalkedalongwithMissMurray，turningasidemyface，andneglectingtonoticeseveralsuccessiveremarks，tillshebawledoutthatIwaseitherdeaforstupid；andthen(havingrecoveredmyself-possession)，asoneawakenedfromafitofabstraction，Isuddenlylookedupandaskedwhatshehadbeensaying。
chapter21
CHAPTERXXI-THESCHOOL
ILEFTHortonLodge，andwenttojoinmymotherinournewabodeatA。Ifoundherwellinhealth，resignedinspirit，andevencheerful，thoughsubduedandsober，inhergeneraldemeanour。
Wehadonlythreeboardersandhalfadozenday-pupilstocommencewith；butbyduecareanddiligencewehopederelongtoincreasethenumberofboth。
Isetmyselfwithbefittingenergytodischargethedutiesofthisnewmodeoflife。IcallitNEW，fortherewas，indeed，aconsiderabledifferencebetweenworkingwithmymotherinaschoolofourown，andworkingasahirelingamongstrangers，despisedandtrampleduponbyoldandyoung；andforthefirstfewweeksIwasbynomeansunhappy。\'Itispossiblewemaymeetagain，\'and\'willitbeofanyconsequencetoyouwhetherwedoornot？\'-Thosewordsstillranginmyearandrestedonmyheart:theyweremysecretsolaceandsupport。\'Ishallseehimagain-Hewillcome；
orhewillwrite。\'Nopromise，infact，wastoobrightortooextravagantforHopetowhisperinmyear。Ididnotbelievehalfofwhatshetoldme:Ipretendedtolaughatitall；butIwasfarmorecredulousthanImyselfsupposed；otherwise，whydidmyheartleapupwhenaknockwasheardatthefrontdoor，andthemaid，whoopenedit，cametotellmymotheragentlemanwishedtoseeher？
andwhywasIoutofhumourfortherestoftheday，becauseitprovedtobeamusic-mastercometoofferhisservicestoourschool？andwhatstoppedmybreathforamoment，whenthepostmanhavingbroughtacoupleofletters，mymothersaid，\'Here，Agnes，thisisforyou，\'andthrewoneofthemtome？andwhatmadethehotbloodrushintomyfacewhenIsawitwasdirectedinagentleman\'shand？andwhy-oh!whydidthatcold，sickeningsenseofdisappointmentfalluponme，whenIhadtornopenthecoverandfounditwasONLYaletterfromMary，which，forsomereasonorother，herhusbandhaddirectedforher？
Wasitthencometothis-thatIshouldbeDISAPPOINTEDtoreceivealetterfrommyonlysister:andbecauseitwasnotwrittenbyacomparativestranger？DearMary!andshehadwrittenitsokindly-andthinkingIshouldbesopleasedtohaveit!-Iwasnotworthytoreadit!AndIbelieve，inmyindignationagainstmyself，IshouldhaveputitasidetillIhadschooledmyselfintoabetterframeofmind，andwasbecomemoredeservingofthehonourandprivilegeofitsperusal:buttherewasmymotherlookingon，andwishfultoknowwhatnewsitcontained；soIreaditanddeliveredittoher，andthenwentintotheschoolroomtoattendtothepupils:butamidstthecaresofcopiesandsums-intheintervalsofcorrectingerrorshere，andreprovingderelictionsofdutythere，Iwasinwardlytakingmyselftotaskwithfarsternerseverity。\'Whatafoolyoumustbe，\'saidmyheadtomyheart，ormysternertomysofterself；-\'howcouldyoueverdreamthathewouldwritetoyou？Whatgroundshaveyouforsuchahope-orthathewillseeyou，orgivehimselfanytroubleaboutyou-oreventhinkofyouagain？\'\'Whatgrounds？\'-andthenHopesetbeforemethatlast，shortinterview，andrepeatedthewordsIhadsofaithfullytreasuredinmymemory。\'Well，andwhatwasthereinthat？-Whoeverhunghishopesuponsofrailatwig？Whatwasthereinthosewordsthatanycommonacquaintancemightnotsaytoanother？Ofcourse，itwaspossibleyoumightmeetagain:
hemighthavesaidsoifyouhadbeengoingtoNewZealand；butthatdidnotimplyanyINTENTIONofseeingyou-andthen，astothequestionthatfollowed，anyonemightaskthat:andhowdidyouanswer？-Merelywithastupid，commonplacereply，suchasyouwouldhavegiventoMasterMurray，oranyoneelseyouhadbeenontolerablyciviltermswith。\'\'But，then，\'persistedHope，\'thetoneandmannerinwhichhespoke。\'\'Oh，thatisnonsense!healwaysspeaksimpressively；andatthatmomentthereweretheGreensandMissMatildaMurrayjustbefore，andotherpeoplepassingby，andhewasobligedtostandclosebesideyou，andtospeakverylow，unlesshewishedeverybodytohearwhathesaid，which-thoughitwasnothingatallparticular-ofcourse，hewouldrathernot。\'Butthen，aboveall，thatemphatic，yetgentlepressureofthehand，whichseemedtosay，\'TRUSTme；\'andmanyotherthingsbesides-toodelightful，almosttooflattering，toberepeatedeventoone\'sself。\'Egregiousfolly-tooabsurdtorequirecontradiction-mereinventionsoftheimagination，whichyououghttobeashamedof。Ifyouwouldbutconsideryourownunattractiveexterior，yourunamiablereserve，yourfoolishdiffidence-whichmustmakeyouappearcold，dull，awkward，andperhapsill-temperedtoo；-ifyouhadbutrightlyconsideredthesefromthebeginning，youwouldneverhaveharbouredsuchpresumptuousthoughts:andnowthatyouhavebeensofoolish，prayrepentandamend，andletushavenomoreofit!\'
IcannotsaythatIimplicitlyobeyedmyowninjunctions:butsuchreasoningasthisbecamemoreandmoreeffectiveastimeworeon，andnothingwasseenorheardofMr。Weston；until，atlast，Igaveuphoping，forevenmyheartacknowledgeditwasallinvain。
Butstill，Iwouldthinkofhim:Iwouldcherishhisimageinmymind；
andtreasureeveryword，look，andgesturethatmymemorycouldretain；andbroodoverhisexcellencesandhispeculiarities，and，infact，allIhadseen，heard，orimaginedrespectinghim。
\'Agnes，thisseaairandchangeofscenedoyounogood，Ithink:
Ineversawyoulooksowretched。Itmustbethatyousittoomuch，andallowthecaresoftheschoolroomtoworryyou。Youmustlearntotakethingseasy，andtobemoreactiveandcheerful；youmusttakeexercisewheneveryoucangetit，andleavethemosttiresomedutiestome:theywillonlyservetoexercisemypatience，and，perhaps，trymytemperalittle。\'
Sosaidmymother，aswesatatworkonemorningduringtheEasterholidays。Iassuredherthatmyemploymentswerenotatalloppressive；thatIwaswell；or，iftherewasanythingamiss，itwouldbegoneassoonasthetryingmonthsofspringwereover:
whensummercameIshouldbeasstrongandheartyasshecouldwishtoseeme:butinwardlyherobservationstartledme。Iknewmystrengthwasdeclining，myappetitehadfailed，andIwasgrownlistlessanddesponding；-andif，indeed，hecouldnevercareforme，andIcouldneverseehimmore-ifIwasforbiddentoministertohishappiness-forbidden，forever，totastethejoysoflove，tobless，andtobeblessed-then，lifemustbeaburden，andifmyheavenlyFatherwouldcallmeaway，Ishouldbegladtorest。
Butitwouldnotdotodieandleavemymother。Selfish，unworthydaughter，toforgetherforamoment!Wasnotherhappinesscommittedinagreatmeasuretomycharge？-andthewelfareofouryoungpupilstoo？ShouldIshrinkfromtheworkthatGodhadsetbeforeme，becauseitwasnotfittedtomytaste？DidnotHeknowbestwhatIshoulddo，andwhereIoughttolabour？-andshouldI
longtoquitHisservicebeforeIhadfinishedmytask，andexpecttoenterintoHisrestwithouthavinglabouredtoearnit？\'No；
byHishelpIwillariseandaddressmyselfdiligentlytomyappointedduty。Ifhappinessinthisworldisnotforme，Iwillendeavourtopromotethewelfareofthosearoundme，andmyrewardshallbehereafter。\'SosaidIinmyheart；andfromthathourIonlypermittedmythoughtstowandertoEdwardWeston-oratleasttodwelluponhimnowandthen-asatreatforrareoccasions:and，whetheritwasreallytheapproachofsummerortheeffectofthesegoodresolutions，orthelapseoftime，oralltogether，tranquillityofmindwassoonrestored；andbodilyhealthandvigourbeganlikewise，slowly，butsurely，toreturn。
EarlyinJune，IreceivedaletterfromLadyAshby，lateMissMurray。Shehadwrittentometwiceorthricebefore，fromthedifferentstagesofherbridaltour，alwaysingoodspirits，andprofessingtobeveryhappy。Iwonderedeverytimethatshehadnotforgottenme，inthemidstofsomuchgaietyandvarietyofscene。Atlength，however，therewasapause；anditseemedshehadforgottenme，forupwardsofsevenmonthspassedawayandnoletter。Ofcourse，IdidnotbreakmyheartaboutTHAT，thoughI
oftenwonderedhowshewasgettingon；andwhenthislastepistlesounexpectedlyarrived，Iwasgladenoughtoreceiveit。ItwasdatedfromAshbyPark，whereshewascometosettledownatlast，havingpreviouslydividedhertimebetweenthecontinentandthemetropolis。Shemademanyapologiesforhavingneglectedmesolong，assuredmeshehadnotforgottenme，andhadoftenintendedtowrite，&；c。&；c。，buthadalwaysbeenpreventedbysomething。
Sheacknowledgedthatshehadbeenleadingaverydissipatedlife，andIshouldthinkherverywickedandverythoughtless；but，notwithstandingthat，shethoughtagreatdeal，and，amongotherthings，thatsheshouldvastlyliketoseeme。\'Wehavebeenseveraldaysherealready，\'wroteshe。\'Wehavenotasinglefriendwithus，andarelikelytobeverydull。YouknowIneverhadafancyforlivingwithmyhusbandliketwoturtlesinanest，werehethemostdelightfulcreaturethateverworeacoat；sodotakepityuponmeandcome。IsupposeyourMidsummerholidayscommenceinJune，thesameasotherpeople\'s；thereforeyoucannotpleadwantoftime；andyoumustandshallcome-infact，Ishalldieifyoudon\'t。Iwantyoutovisitmeasafriend，andstayalongtime。Thereisnobodywithme，asItoldyoubefore，butSirThomasandoldLadyAshby:butyouneedn\'tmindthem-they\'lltroubleusbutlittlewiththeircompany。Andyoushallhavearoomtoyourself，wheneveryouliketoretiretoit，andplentyofbookstoreadwhenmycompanyisnotsufficientlyamusing。I
forgetwhetheryoulikebabies；ifyoudo，youmayhavethepleasureofseeingmine-themostcharmingchildintheworld，nodoubt；andallthemoreso，thatIamnottroubledwithnursingit-IwasdeterminedIwouldn\'tbebotheredwiththat。
Unfortunately，itisagirl，andSirThomashasneverforgivenme:
but，however，ifyouwillonlycome，Ipromiseyoushallbeitsgovernessassoonasitcanspeak；andyoushallbringitupinthewayitshouldgo，andmakeabetterwomanofitthanitsmamma。
Andyoushallseemypoodle，too:asplendidlittlecharmerimportedfromParis:andtwofineItalianpaintingsofgreatvalue-Iforgettheartist。Doubtlessyouwillbeabletodiscoverprodigiousbeautiesinthem，whichyoumustpointouttome，asI
onlyadmirebyhearsay；andmanyelegantcuriositiesbesides，whichIpurchasedatRomeandelsewhere；and，finally，youshallseemynewhome-thesplendidhouseandgroundsIusedtocovetsogreatly。Alas!howfarthepromiseofanticipationexceedsthepleasureofpossession!There\'safinesentiment!IassureyouI
ambecomequiteagraveoldmatron:praycome，ifitbeonlytowitnessthewonderfulchange。Writebyreturnofpost，andtellmewhenyourvacationcommences，andsaythatyouwillcomethedayafter，andstaytillthedaybeforeitcloses-inmercyto\'Yoursaffectionately，\'ROSALIEASHBY。\'
Ishowedthisstrangeepistletomymother，andconsultedheronwhatIoughttodo。Sheadvisedmetogo；andIwent-willingenoughtoseeLadyAshby，andherbaby，too，andtodoanythingI
couldtobenefither，byconsolationoradvice；forIimaginedshemustbeunhappy，orshewouldnothaveappliedtomethus-butfeeling，asmayreadilybeconceived，that，inacceptingtheinvitation，Imadeagreatsacrificeforher，anddidviolencetomyfeelingsinmanyways，insteadofbeingdelightedwiththehonourabledistinctionofbeingentreatedbythebaronet\'sladytovisitherasafriend。However，Ideterminedmyvisitshouldbeonlyforafewdaysatmost；andIwillnotdenythatIderivedsomeconsolationfromtheideathat，asAshbyParkwasnotveryfarfromHorton，ImightpossiblyseeMr。Weston，or，atleast，hearsomethingabouthim。
chapter22
CHAPTERXXII-THEVISIT
ASHBYPARKwascertainlyaverydelightfulresidence。Themansionwasstatelywithout，commodiousandelegantwithin；theparkwasspaciousandbeautiful，chieflyonaccountofitsmagnificentoldtrees，itsstatelyherdsofdeer，itsbroadsheetofwater，andtheancientwoodsthatstretchedbeyondit:fortherewasnobrokengroundtogivevarietytothelandscape，andbutverylittleofthatundulatingswellwhichaddssogreatlytothecharmofparkscenery。Andso，thiswastheplaceRosalieMurrayhadsolongedtocallherown，thatshemusthaveashareofit，onwhatevertermsitmightbeoffered-whateverpricewastobepaidforthetitleofmistress，andwhoeverwastobeherpartnerinthehonourandblissofsuchapossession!WellIamnotdisposedtocensurehernow。
Shereceivedmeverykindly；and，thoughIwasapoorclergyman\'sdaughter，agoverness，andaschoolmistress，shewelcomedmewithunaffectedpleasuretoherhome；and-whatsurprisedmerather-
tooksomepainstomakemyvisitagreeable。Icouldsee，itistrue，thatsheexpectedmetobegreatlystruckwiththemagnificencethatsurroundedher；and，Iconfess，Iwasratherannoyedatherevidenteffortstoreassureme，andpreventmefrombeingoverwhelmedbysomuchgrandeur-toomuchawedattheideaofencounteringherhusbandandmother-in-law，ortoomuchashamedofmyownhumbleappearance。Iwasnotashamedofitatall；for，thoughplain，Ihadtakengoodcarenottoshabbyormean，andshouldhavebeenprettyconsiderablyatmyease，ifmycondescendinghostesshadnottakensuchmanifestpainstomakemeso；and，asforthemagnificencethatsurroundedher，nothingthatmetmyeyesstruckmeoraffectedmehalfsomuchasherownalteredappearance。Whetherfromtheinfluenceoffashionabledissipation，orsomeotherevil，aspaceoflittlemorethantwelvemonthshadhadtheeffectthatmightbeexpectedfromasmanyyears，inreducingtheplumpnessofherform，thefreshnessofhercomplexion，thevivacityofhermovements，andtheexuberanceofherspirits。
Iwishedtoknowifshewasunhappy；butIfeltitwasnotmyprovincetoinquire:Imightendeavourtowinherconfidence；
but，ifshechosetoconcealhermatrimonialcaresfromme，Iwouldtroubleherwithnoobtrusivequestions。I，therefore，atfirst，confinedmyselftoafewgeneralinquiriesaboutherhealthandwelfare，andafewcommendationsonthebeautyofthepark，andofthelittlegirlthatshouldhavebeenaboy:asmalldelicateinfantofsevenoreightweeksold，whomitsmotherseemedtoregardwithnoremarkabledegreeofinterestoraffection，thoughfullasmuchasIexpectedhertoshow。
Shortlyaftermyarrival，shecommissionedhermaidtoconductmetomyroomandseethatIhadeverythingIwanted；itwasasmall，unpretending，butsufficientlycomfortableapartment。WhenI
descendedthence-havingdivestedmyselfofalltravellingencumbrances，andarrangedmytoiletwithdueconsiderationforthefeelingsofmyladyhostess，sheconductedmeherselftotheroomI
wastooccupywhenIchosetobealone，orwhenshewasengagedwithvisitors，orobligedtobewithhermother-in-law，orotherwiseprevented，asshesaid，fromenjoyingthepleasureofmysociety。Itwasaquiet，tidylittlesitting-room；andIwasnotsorrytobeprovidedwithsuchaharbourofrefuge。
\'Andsometime，\'saidshe，\'Iwillshowyouthelibrary:Ineverexamineditsshelves，but，Idaresay，itisfullofwisebooks；andyoumaygoandburrowamongthemwheneveryouplease。Andnowyoushallhavesometea-itwillsoonbedinner-time，butIthought，asyouwereaccustomedtodineatone，youwouldperhapslikebettertohaveacupofteaaboutthistime，andtodinewhenwelunch:andthen，youknow，youcanhaveyourteainthisroom，andthatwillsaveyoufromhavingtodinewithLadyAshbyandSirThomas:whichwouldberatherawkward-atleast，notawkward，butrather-a-youknowwhatImean。Ithoughtyoumightn\'tlikeitsowell-especiallyaswemayhaveotherladiesandgentlementodinewithusoccasionally。\'
\'Certainly，\'saidI，\'Iwouldmuchratherhaveitasyousay，and，ifyouhavenoobjection，Ishouldpreferhavingallmymealsinthisroom。\'
\'Whyso？\'
\'Because，Iimagine，itwouldbemoreagreeabletoLadyAshbyandSirThomas。\'
\'Nothingofthekind。\'
\'Atanyrateitwouldbemoreagreeabletome。\'
Shemadesomefaintobjections，butsoonconceded；andIcouldseethattheproposalwasaconsiderablerelieftoher。
\'Now，comeintothedrawing-room，\'saidshe。\'There\'sthedressingbell；butIwon\'tgoyet:it\'snousedressingwhenthere\'snoonetoseeyou；andIwanttohavealittlediscourse。\'
Thedrawing-roomwascertainlyanimposingapartment，andveryelegantlyfurnished；butIsawitsyoungmistressglancetowardsmeasweentered，asiftonoticehowIwasimpressedbythespectacle，andaccordinglyIdeterminedtopreserveanaspectofstonyindifference，asifIsawnothingatallremarkable。Butthiswasonlyforamoment:immediatelyconsciencewhispered，\'WhyshouldIdisappointhertosavemypride？No-ratherletmesacrificemypridetogiveheralittleinnocentgratification。\'
AndIhonestlylookedround，andtoldheritwasanobleroom，andverytastefullyfurnished。Shesaidlittle，butIsawshewaspleased。
SheshowedmeherfatFrenchpoodle，thatlaycurleduponasilkcushion，andthetwofineItalianpaintings:which，however，shewouldnotgivemetimetoexamine，but，sayingImustlookatthemsomeotherday，insisteduponmyadmiringthelittlejewelledwatchshehadpurchasedinGeneva；andthenshetookmeroundtheroomtopointoutsundryarticlesofVERTUshehadbroughtfromItaly:
anelegantlittletimepiece，andseveralbusts，smallgracefulfigures，andvases，allbeautifullycarvedinwhitemarble。Shespokeofthesewithanimation，andheardmyadmiringcommentswithasmileofpleasure:thatsoon，however，vanished，andwasfollowedbyamelancholysigh；asifinconsiderationoftheinsufficiencyofallsuchbaublestothehappinessofthehumanheart，andtheirwoefulinabilitytosupplyitsinsatiatedemands。
Then，stretchingherselfuponacouch，shemotionedmetoacapaciouseasy-chairthatstoodopposite-notbeforethefire，butbeforeawideopenwindow；foritwassummer，beitremembered；asweet，warmeveninginthelatterhalfofJune。Isatforamomentinsilence，enjoyingthestill，pureair，andthedelightfulprospectoftheparkthatlaybeforeme，richinverdureandfoliage，andbaskinginyellowsunshine，relievedbythelongshadowsofdecliningday。ButImusttakeadvantageofthispause:
Ihadinquiriestomake，and，likethesubstanceofalady\'spostscript，themostimportantmustcomelast。SoIbeganwithaskingafterMr。andMrs。Murray，andMissMatildaandtheyounggentlemen。
Iwastoldthatpapahadthegout，whichmadehimveryferocious；
andthathewouldnotgiveuphischoicewines，andhissubstantialdinnersandsuppers，andhadquarrelledwithhisphysician，becausethelatterhaddaredtosaythatnomedicinecouldcurehimwhilehelivedsofreely；thatmammaandtherestwerewell。Matildawasstillwildandreckless，butshehadgotafashionablegoverness，andwasconsiderablyimprovedinhermanners，andsoontobeintroducedtotheworld；andJohnandCharles(nowathomefortheholidays)were，byallaccounts，\'fine，bold，unruly，mischievousboys。\'
\'Andhowaretheotherpeoplegettingon？\'saidI-\'theGreens，forinstance？\'
\'Ah!Mr。Greenisheart-broken，youknow，\'repliedshe，withalanguidsmile:\'hehasn\'tgotoverhisdisappointmentyet，andneverwill，Isuppose。He\'sdoomedtobeanoldbachelor；andhissistersaredoingtheirbesttogetmarried。\'
\'AndtheMelthams？\'
\'Oh，they\'rejoggingonasusual，Isuppose:butIknowverylittleaboutanyofthem-exceptHarry，\'saidshe，blushingslightly，andsmilingagain。\'IsawagreatdealofhimwhilewewereinLondon；for，assoonasheheardwewerethere，hecameupunderpretenceofvisitinghisbrother，andeitherfollowedme，likeashadow，whereverIwent，ormetme，likeareflection，ateveryturn。Youneedn\'tlooksoshocked，MissGrey；Iwasverydiscreet，Iassureyou，but，youknow，onecan\'thelpbeingadmired。Poorfellow!Hewasnotmyonlyworshipper；thoughhewascertainlythemostconspicuous，and，Ithink，themostdevotedamongthemall。Andthatdetestable-ahem-andSirThomaschosetotakeoffenceathim-ormyprofuseexpenditure，orsomething-
Idon\'texactlyknowwhat-andhurriedmedowntothecountryatamoment\'snotice；whereI\'mtoplaythehermit，Isuppose，forlife。\'
Andshebitherlip，andfrownedvindictivelyuponthefairdomainshehadoncesocovetedtocallherown。
\'AndMr。Hatfield，\'saidI，\'whatisbecomeofhim？\'
Againshebrightenedup，andansweredgaily-\'Oh!hemadeuptoanelderlyspinster，andmarriedher，notlongsince；weighingherheavypurseagainstherfadedcharms，andexpectingtofindthatsolaceingoldwhichwasdeniedhiminlove-ha，ha!\'
\'Well，andIthinkthat\'sall-exceptMr。Weston:whatishedoing？\'
\'Idon\'tknow，I\'msure。He\'sgonefromHorton。\'
\'Howlongsince？andwhereishegoneto？\'
\'Iknownothingabouthim，\'repliedshe，yawning-\'exceptthathewentaboutamonthago-Ineveraskedwhere\'(Iwouldhaveaskedwhetheritwastoalivingormerelyanothercuracy，butthoughtitbetternot)；\'andthepeoplemadeagreatroutabouthisleaving，\'
continuedshe，\'muchtoMr。Hatfield\'sdispleasure；forHatfielddidn\'tlikehim，becausehehadtoomuchinfluencewiththecommonpeople，andbecausehewasnotsufficientlytractableandsubmissivetohim-andforsomeotherunpardonablesins，Idon\'tknowwhat。ButnowIpositivelymustgoanddress:thesecondbellwillringdirectly，andifIcometodinnerinthisguise，I
shallneverheartheendofitfromLadyAshby。It\'sastrangethingonecan\'tbemistressinone\'sownhouse!Justringthebell，andI\'llsendformymaid，andtellthemtogetyousometea。
Onlythinkofthatintolerablewoman-\'
\'Who-yourmaid？\'
\'No；-mymother-in-law-andmyunfortunatemistake!Insteadoflettinghertakeherselfofftosomeotherhouse，assheofferedtodowhenImarried，Iwasfoolenoughtoaskhertoliveherestill，anddirecttheaffairsofthehouseforme；because，inthefirstplace，Ihopedweshouldspendthegreaterpartoftheyear，intown，andinthesecondplace，beingsoyoungandinexperienced，I
wasfrightenedattheideaofhavingahousefulofservantstomanage，anddinnerstoorder，andpartiestoentertain，andalltherestofit，andIthoughtshemightassistmewithherexperience；
neverdreamingshewouldproveausurper，atyrant，anincubus，aspy，andeverythingelsethat\'sdetestable。Iwishshewasdead!\'
Shethenturnedtogiveherorderstothefootman，whohadbeenstandingboltuprightwithinthedoorforthelasthalfminute，andhadheardthelatterpartofheranimadversions；and，ofcourse，madehisownreflectionsuponthem，notwithstandingtheinflexible，woodencountenancehethoughtpropertopreserveinthedrawing-
room。Onmyremarkingafterwardsthathemusthaveheardher，shereplied-\'Oh，nomatter!Inevercareaboutthefootmen；they\'remereautomatons:it\'snothingtothemwhattheirsuperiorssayordo；theywon\'tdaretorepeatit；andastowhattheythink-iftheypresumetothinkatall-ofcourse，nobodycaresforthat。
Itwouldbeaprettythingindeed，itweweretobetongue-tiedbyourservants!\'
Sosaying，sheranofftomakeherhastytoilet，leavingmetopilotmywaybacktomysitting-room，where，induetime，Iwasservedwithacupoftea。Afterthat，IsatmusingonLadyAshby\'spastandpresentcondition；andonwhatlittleinformationIhadobtainedrespectingMr。Weston，andthesmallchancetherewasofeverseeingorhearinganythingmoreofhimthroughoutmyquiet，drab-colourlife:which，henceforth，seemedtooffernoalternativebetweenpositiverainydays，anddaysofdullgreycloudswithoutdownfall。Atlength，however，Ibegantowearyofmythoughts，andtowishIknewwheretofindthelibrarymyhostesshadspokenof；andtowonderwhetherIwastoremaintheredoingnothingtillbedtime。
AsIwasnotrichenoughtopossessawatch，Icouldnottellhowtimewaspassing，exceptbyobservingtheslowlylengtheningshadowsfromthewindow；whichpresentedasideview，includingacornerofthepark，aclumpoftreeswhosetopmostbrancheshadbeencolonizedbyaninnumerablecompanyofnoisyrooks，andahighwallwithamassivewoodengate:nodoubtcommunicatingwiththestable-yard，asabroadcarriage-roadsweptuptoitfromthepark。
TheshadowofthiswallsoontookposessionofthewholeofthegroundasfarasIcouldsee，forcingthegoldensunlighttoretreatinchbyinch，andatlasttakerefugeintheverytopsofthetrees。Erelong，eventheywereleftinshadow-theshadowofthedistanthills，oroftheearthitself；and，insympathyforthebusycitizensoftherookery，Iregrettedtoseetheirhabitation，solatelybathedingloriouslight，reducedtothesombre，work-a-
dayhueofthelowerworld，orofmyownworldwithin。Foramoment，suchbirdsassoaredabovetherestmightstillreceivethelustreontheirwings，whichimpartedtotheirsableplumagethehueandbrillianceofdeepredgold；atlast，thattoodeparted。
Twilightcamestealingon；therooksbecamemorequiet；Ibecamemoreweary，andwishedIweregoinghometo-morrow。Atlengthitgrewdark；andIwasthinkingofringingforacandle，andbetakingmyselftobed，whenmyhostessappeared，withmanyapologiesforhavingneglectedmesolong，andlayingalltheblameuponthat\'nastyoldwoman，\'asshecalledhermother-in-law。
\'IfIdidn\'tsitwithherinthedrawing-roomwhileSirThomasistakinghiswine，\'saidshe，\'shewouldneverforgiveme；andthen，ifIleavetheroomtheinstanthecomes-asIhavedoneonceortwice-itisanunpardonableoffenceagainstherdearThomas。
SHE
nevershowedsuchdisrespecttoHERhusband:andasforaffection，wivesneverthinkofthatnow-a-days，shesupposes:butthingsweredifferentinHERtime-asiftherewasanygoodtobedonebystayingintheroom，whenhedoesnothingbutgrumbleandscoldwhenhe\'sinabadhumour，talkdisgustingnonsensewhenhe\'sinagoodone，andgotosleeponthesofawhenhe\'stoostupidforeither；whichismostfrequentlythecasenow，whenhehasnothingtodobuttosotoverhiswine。\'
\'Butcouldyounottrytooccupyhismindwithsomethingbetter；
andengagehimtogiveupsuchhabits？I\'msureyouhavepowersofpersuasion，andqualificationsforamusingagentleman，whichmanyladieswouldbegladtopossess。\'
\'AndsoyouthinkIwouldlaymyselfoutforhisamusement!No:
that\'snotMYideaofawife。It\'sthehusband\'sparttopleasethewife，notherstopleasehim；andifheisn\'tsatisfiedwithherassheis-andthankfultopossesshertoo-heisn\'tworthyofher，that\'sall。Andasforpersuasion，IassureyouIshan\'ttroublemyselfwiththat:I\'veenoughtodotobearwithhimasheis，withoutattemptingtoworkareform。ButI\'msorryIleftyousolongalone，MissGrey。Howhaveyoupassedthetime？\'
\'Chieflyinwatchingtherooks。\'
\'Mercy，howdullyoumusthavebeen!Ireallymustshowyouthelibrary；andyoumustringforeverythingyouwant，justasyouwouldinaninn，andmakeyourselfcomfortable。Ihaveselfishreasonsforwishingtomakeyouhappy，becauseIwantyoutostaywithme，andnotfulfilyourhorridthreatofrunningawayinadayortwo。\'
\'Well，don\'tletmekeepyououtofthedrawing-roomanylongerto-
night，foratpresentIamtiredandwishtogotobed。\'
chapter23
CHAPTERXXIII-THEPARK
ICAMEdownalittlebeforeeight，nextmorning，asIknewbythestrikingofadistantclock。Therewasnoappearanceofbreakfast。
Iwaitedaboveanhourbeforeitcame，stillvainlylongingforaccesstothelibrary；and，afterthatlonelyrepastwasconcluded，Iwaitedagainaboutanhourandahalfingreatsuspenseanddiscomfort，uncertainwhattodo。AtlengthLadyAshbycametobidmegood-morning。Sheinformedmeshehadonlyjustbreakfasted，andnowwantedmetotakeanearlywalkwithherinthepark。
SheaskedhowlongIhadbeenup，andonreceivingmyanswer，expressedthedeepestregret，andagainpromisedtoshowmethelibrary。
