下载辰思小说免费APP
Wenowapproachedastilecommunicatingwithafootpaththatconductedtoafarm-house，where，Isuppose，Mr。Westonpurposedtomakehimself\'useful；\'forhepresentlytookleaveofme，crossedthestile，andtraversedthepathwithhisusualfirm，elastictread，leavingmetoponderhiswordsasIcontinuedmycoursealone。Ihadheardbeforethathehadlosthismothernotmanymonthsbeforehecame。Shethenwasthelastanddearestofhisearlyfriends；andhehadNOHOME。Ipitiedhimfrommyheart:
I
almostweptforsympathy。Andthis，Ithought，accountedfortheshadeofprematurethoughtfulnessthatsofrequentlycloudedhisbrow，andobtainedforhimthereputationofamoroseandsullendispositionwiththecharitableMissMurrayandallherkin。
\'But，\'thoughtI，\'heisnotsomiserableasIshouldbeundersuchadeprivation:heleadsanactivelife；andawidefieldforusefulexertionliesbeforehim。HecanMAKEfriends；andhecanmakeahometoo，ifhepleases；and，doubtless，hewillpleasesometime。Godgrantthepartnerofthathomemaybeworthyofhischoice，andmakeitahappyone-suchahomeashedeservestohave!Andhowdelightfulitwouldbeto-\'ButnomatterwhatI
thought。
Ibeganthisbookwiththeintentionofconcealingnothing；thatthosewholikedmighthavethebenefitofperusingafellow-
creature\'sheart:butwehavesomethoughtsthatalltheangelsinheavenarewelcometobehold，butnotourbrother-men-noteventhebestandkindestamongstthem。
BythistimetheGreenshadtakenthemselvestotheirownabode，andtheMurrayshadturneddowntheprivateroad，whitherI
hastenedtofollowthem。Ifoundthetwogirlswarminananimateddiscussionontherespectivemeritsofthetwoyoungofficers；butonseeingmeRosaliebrokeoffinthemiddleofasentencetoexclaim，withmaliciousglee-
\'Oh-ho，MissGrey!you\'recomeatlast，areyou？NoWONDERyoulingeredsolongbehind；andnoWONDERyoualwaysstandupsovigorouslyforMr。WestonwhenIabusehim。Ah-ha!Iseeitallnow!\'
\'Now，come，MissMurray，don\'tbefoolish，\'saidI，attemptingagood-naturedlaugh；\'youknowsuchnonsensecanmakenoimpressiononme。\'
Butshestillwentontalkingsuchintolerablestuff-hersisterhelpingherwithappropriatefictioncoinedfortheoccasion-thatIthoughtitnecessarytosaysomethinginmyownjustification。
\'Whatfollyallthisis!\'Iexclaimed。\'IfMr。Weston\'sroadhappenedtobethesameasmineforafewyards，andifhechosetoexchangeawordortwoinpassing，whatistheresoremarkableinthat？Iassureyou，Ineverspoketohimbefore:exceptonce。\'
\'Where？where？andwhen？\'criedtheyeagerly。
\'InNancy\'scottage。\'
\'Ah-ha!you\'vemethimthere，haveyou？\'exclaimedRosalie，withexultantlaughter。\'Ah!now，Matilda，I\'vefoundoutwhyshe\'ssofondofgoingtoNancyBrown\'s!ShegoestheretoflirtwithMr。
Weston。\'
\'Really，thatisnotworthcontradicting-Ionlysawhimthereonce，Itellyou-andhowcouldIknowhewascoming？\'
IrritatedasIwasattheirfoolishmirthandvexatiousimputations，theuneasinessdidnotcontinuelong:whentheyhadhadtheirlaughout，theyreturnedagaintothecaptainandlieutenant；and，whiletheydisputedandcommenteduponthem，myindignationrapidlycooled；thecauseofitwasquicklyforgotten，andIturnedmythoughtsintoapleasanterchannel。Thusweproceededupthepark，andenteredthehall；andasIascendedthestairstomyownchamber，Ihadbutonethoughtwithinme:myheartwasfilledtooverflowingwithonesingleearnestwish。
Havingenteredtheroom，andshutthedoor，Ifelluponmykneesandofferedupaferventbutnotimpetuousprayer:\'Thywillbedone，\'Istrovetosaythroughout；but，\'Father，allthingsarepossiblewithThee，andmayitbeThywill，\'wassuretofollow。
Thatwish-thatprayer-bothmenandwomenwouldhavescornedmefor-\'But，Father，THOUwiltNOTdespise!\'Isaid，andfeltthatitwastrue。Itseemedtomethatanother\'swelfarewasatleastasardentlyimploredforasmyown；nay，evenTHATwastheprincipalobjectofmyheart\'sdesire。Imighthavebeendeceivingmyself；butthatideagavemeconfidencetoask，andpowertohopeIdidnotaskinvain。Asfortheprimroses，Ikepttwooftheminaglassinmyroomuntiltheywerecompletelywithered，andthehousemaidthrewthemout；andthepetalsoftheotherIpressedbetweentheleavesofmyBible-Ihavethemstill，andmeantokeepthemalways。
chapter14
CHAPTERXIV-THERECTOR
THEfollowingdaywasasfineastheprecedingone。SoonafterbreakfastMissMatilda，havinggallopedandblunderedthroughafewunprofitablelessons，andvengeablythumpedthepianoforanhour，inaterriblehumourwithbothmeandit，becausehermammawouldnotgiveheraholiday，hadbetakenherselftoherfavouriteplacesofresort，theyards，thestables，andthedog-kennels；andMissMurraywasgoneforthtoenjoyaquietramblewithanewfashionablenovelforhercompanion，leavingmeintheschoolroomhardatworkuponawater-colourdrawingwhichIhadpromisedtodoforher，andwhichsheinsisteduponmyfinishingthatday。
Atmyfeetlayalittleroughterrier。ItwasthepropertyofMissMatilda；butshehatedtheanimal，andintendedtosellit，allegingthatitwasquitespoiled。Itwasreallyanexcellentdogofitskind；butsheaffirmeditwasfitfornothing，andhadnoteventhesensetoknowitsownmistress。
Thefactwasshehadpurchaseditwhenbutasmallpuppy，insistingatfirstthatnooneshouldtouchitbutherself；butsoonbecomingtiredofsohelplessandtroublesomeanursling，shehadgladlyyieldedtomyentreatiestobeallowedtotakechargeofit；andI，bycarefullynursingthelittlecreaturefrominfancytoadolescence，ofcourse，hadobtaineditsaffections:arewardI
shouldhavegreatlyvalued，andlookeduponasfaroutweighingallthetroubleIhadhadwithit，hadnotpoorSnap\'sgratefulfeelingsexposedhimtomanyaharshwordandmanyaspitefulkickandpinchfromhisowner，andwerehenotnowindangerofbeing\'putaway\'inconsequence，ortransferredtosomerough，stony-
heartedmaster。ButhowcouldIhelpit？Icouldnotmakethedoghatemebycrueltreatment，andshewouldnotpropitiatehimbykindness。
However，whileIthussat，workingawaywithmypencil，Mrs。Murraycame，half-sailing，half-bustling，intotheroom。
\'MissGrey，\'shebegan，-\'dear!howcanyousitatyourdrawingsuchadayasthis？\'(ShethoughtIwasdoingitformyownpleasure。)\'IWONDERyoudon\'tputonyourbonnetandgooutwiththeyoungladies。\'
\'Ithink，ma\'am，MissMurrayisreading；andMissMatildaisamusingherselfwithherdogs。\'
\'IfyouwouldtrytoamuseMissMatildayourselfalittlemore，I
thinkshewouldnotbedriventoseekamusementinthecompanionshipofdogsandhorsesandgrooms，somuchassheis；andifyouwouldbealittlemorecheerfulandconversablewithMissMurray，shewouldnotsooftengowanderinginthefieldswithabookinherhand。However，Idon\'twanttovexyou，\'addedshe，seeing，Isuppose，thatmycheeksburnedandmyhandtrembledwithsomeunamiableemotion。\'Do，pray，trynottobesotouchy-
there\'snospeakingtoyouelse。AndtellmeifyouknowwhereRosalieisgone:andwhyshelikestobesomuchalone？\'
\'Shesaysshelikestobealonewhenshehasanewbooktoread。\'
\'Butwhycan\'tshereaditintheparkorthegarden？-whyshouldshegointothefieldsandlanes？AndhowisitthatthatMr。
Hatfieldsooftenfindsherout？Shetoldmelastweekhe\'dwalkedhishorsebyhersideallupMossLane；andnowI\'msureitwasheIsaw，frommydressing-roomwindow，walkingsobrisklypastthepark-gates，andontowardsthefieldwhereshesofrequentlygoes。
Iwishyouwouldgoandseeifsheisthere；andjustgentlyremindherthatitisnotproperforayoungladyofherrankandprospectstobewanderingaboutbyherselfinthatmanner，exposedtotheattentionsofanyonethatpresumestoaddressher；likesomepoorneglectedgirlthathasnoparktowalkin，andnofriendstotakecareofher:andtellherthatherpapawouldbeextremelyangryifheknewofhertreatingMr。HatfieldinthefamiliarmannerthatIfearshedoes；and-oh!ifyou-ifANYgovernesshadbuthalfamother\'swatchfulness-halfamother\'sanxiouscare，Ishouldbesavedthistrouble；andyouwouldseeatoncethenecessityofkeepingyoureyeuponher，andmakingyourcompanyagreeableto-Well，go-go；there\'snotimetobelost，\'criedshe，seeingthatIhadputawaymydrawingmaterials，andwaswaitinginthedoorwayfortheconclusionofheraddress。
Accordingtoherprognostications，IfoundMissMurrayinherfavouritefieldjustwithoutthepark；and，unfortunately，notalone；forthetall，statelyfigureofMr。Hatfieldwasslowlysaunteringbyherside。
Herewasaposerforme。ItwasmydutytointerrupttheTETE-A-
TETE:buthowwasittobedone？Mr。HatfieldcouldnottobedrivenawaybysoinsignificantpersonasI；andtogoandplacemyselfontheothersideofMissMurray，andintrudemyunwelcomepresenceuponherwithoutnoticinghercompanion，wasapieceofrudenessIcouldnotbeguiltyof:neitherhadIthecouragetocryaloudfromthetopofthefieldthatshewaswantedelsewhere。
SoItooktheintermediatecourseofwalkingslowlybutsteadilytowardsthem；resolving，ifmyapproachfailedtoscareawaythebeau，topassbyandtellMissMurrayhermammawantedher。
Shecertainlylookedverycharmingasshestrolled，lingeringalongunderthebuddinghorse-chestnuttreesthatstretchedtheirlongarmsoverthepark-palings；withherclosedbookinonehand，andintheotheragracefulsprigofmyrtle，whichservedherasaveryprettyplaything；herbrightringletsescapingprofuselyfromherlittlebonnet，andgentlystirredbythebreeze，herfaircheekflushedwithgratifiedvanity，hersmilingblueeyes，nowslylyglancingtowardsheradmirer，nowgazingdownwardathermyrtlesprig。ButSnap，runningbeforeme，interruptedherinthemidstofsomehalf-pert，half-playfulrepartee，bycatchingholdofherdressandvehementlytuggingthereat；tillMr。Hatfield，withhiscane，administeredaresoundingthwackupontheanimal\'sskull，andsentityelpingbacktomewithaclamorousoutcrythataffordedthereverendgentlemangreatamusement:butseeingmesonear，hethought，Isuppose，hemightaswellbetakinghisdeparture；and，asIstoopedtocaressthedog，withostentatiouspitytoshowmydisapprovalofhisseverity，Iheardhimsay:\'WhenshallIseeyouagain，MissMurray？\'
\'Atchurch，Isuppose，\'repliedshe，\'unlessyourbusinesschancestobringyouhereagainattheprecisemomentwhenIhappentobewalkingby。\'
\'Icouldalwaysmanagetohavebusinesshere，ifIknewpreciselywhenandwheretofindyou。\'
\'ButifIwould，Icouldnotinformyou，forIamsoimmethodical，Inevercantellto-daywhatIshalldotomorrow。\'
\'Thengivemethat，meantime，tocomfortme，\'saidhe，halfjestinglyandhalfinearnest，extendinghishandforthesprigofmyrtle。
\'No，indeed，Ishan\'t。\'
\'Do!PRAYdo!Ishallbethemostmiserableofmenifyoudon\'t。
Youcannotbesocruelastodenymeafavoursoeasilygrantedandyetsohighlyprized!\'pleadedheasardentlyasifhislifedependedonit。
BythistimeIstoodwithinaveryfewyardsofthem，impatientlywaitinghisdeparture。
\'Therethen!takeitandgo，\'saidRosalie。
Hejoyfullyreceivedthegift，murmuredsomethingthatmadeherblushandtossherhead，butwithalittlelaughthatshowedherdispleasurewasentirelyaffected；andthenwithacourteoussalutationwithdrew。
\'Didyoueverseesuchaman，MissGrey？\'saidshe，turningtome；
\'I\'msoGLADyoucame!IthoughtIneverSHOULD，getridofhim；
andIwassoterriblyafraidofpapaseeinghim。\'
\'Hashebeenwithyoulong？\'
\'No，notlong，buthe\'ssoextremelyimpertinent:andhe\'salwayshangingabout，pretendinghisbusinessorhisclericaldutiesrequirehisattendanceintheseparts，andreallywatchingforpoorme，andpouncinguponmewhereverheseesme。\'
\'Well，yourmammathinksyououghtnottogobeyondtheparkorgardenwithoutsomediscreet，matronlypersonlikemetoaccompanyyou，andkeepoffallintruders。ShedescriedMr。Hatfieldhurryingpastthepark-gates，andforthwithdespatchedmewithinstructionstoseekyouupandtotakecareofyou，andlikewisetowarn-\'
\'Oh，mamma\'ssotiresome!AsifIcouldn\'ttakecareofmyself。
ShebotheredmebeforeaboutMr。Hatfield；andItoldhershemighttrustme:Inevershouldforgetmyrankandstationforthemostdelightfulmanthateverbreathed。Iwishhewouldgodownonhiskneesto-morrow，andimploremetobehiswife，thatImightjustshowherhowmistakensheisinsupposingthatIcouldever-Oh，itprovokesmeso!TothinkthatIcouldbesuchafoolastofallinLOVE!Itisquitebeneaththedignityofawomantodosuchathing。Love!Idetesttheword!Asappliedtooneofoursex，I
thinkitaperfectinsult。ApreferenceIMIGHTacknowledge；butneverforonelikepoorMr。Hatfield，whohasnotsevenhundredayeartoblesshimselfwith。Iliketotalktohim，becausehe\'ssocleverandamusing-IwishSirThomasAshbywerehalfasnice；
besides，ImusthaveSOMEBODYtoflirtwith，andnooneelsehasthesensetocomehere；andwhenwegoout，mammawon\'tletmeflirtwithanybodybutSirThomas-ifhe\'sthere；andifhe\'sNOT
there，I\'mboundhandandfoot，forfearsomebodyshouldgoandmakeupsomeexaggeratedstory，andputitintohisheadthatI\'mengaged，orlikelytobeengaged，tosomebodyelse；or，whatismoreprobable，forfearhisnastyoldmothershouldseeorhearofmyongoings，andconcludethatI\'mnotafitwifeforherexcellentson:asifthesaidsonwerenotthegreatestscampinChristendom；andasifanywomanofcommondecencywerenotaworldtoogoodforhim。\'
\'Isitreallyso，MissMurray？anddoesyourmammaknowit，andyetwishyoutomarryhim？\'
\'Tobesure，shedoes!SheknowsmoreagainsthimthanIdo，I
believe:shekeepsitfrommelestIshouldbediscouraged；notknowinghowlittleIcareaboutsuchthings。Forit\'snogreatmatter，really:he\'llbeallrightwhenhe\'smarried，asmammasays；andreformedrakesmakethebesthusbands，EVERYBODYknows。
Ionlywishhewerenotsougly-THAT\'SallIthinkabout:butthenthere\'snochoicehereinthecountry；andpapaWILLNOTletusgotoLondon-\'
\'ButIshouldthinkMr。Hatfieldwouldbefarbetter。\'
\'Andsohewould，ifhewerelordofAshbyPark-there\'snotadoubtofit:butthefactis，IMUSThaveAshbyPark，whoeversharesitwithme。\'
\'ButMr。Hatfieldthinksyoulikehimallthistime；youdon\'tconsiderhowbitterlyhewillbedisappointedwhenhefindshimselfmistaken。\'
\'NO，indeed!Itwillbeaproperpunishmentforhispresumption-
foreverDARINGtothinkIcouldlikehim。Ishouldenjoynothingsomuchasliftingtheveilfromhiseyes。\'
\'Thesooneryoudoitthebetterthen。\'
\'No；Itellyou，Iliketoamusemyselfwithhim。Besides，hedoesn\'treallythinkIlikehim。Itakegoodcareofthat:
youdon\'tknowhowcleverlyImanage。Hemaypresumetothinkhecaninducemetolikehim；forwhichIshallpunishhimashedeserves。\'
\'Well，mindyoudon\'tgivetoomuchreasonforsuchpresumption-
that\'sall，\'repliedI。
Butallmyexhortationswereinvain:theyonlymadehersomewhatmoresolicitoustodisguiseherwishesandherthoughtsfromme。
ShetalkednomoretomeabouttheRector；butIcouldseethathermind，ifnotherheart，wasfixeduponhimstill，andthatshewasintentuponobtaininganotherinterview:forthough，incompliancewithhermother\'srequest，Iwasnowconstitutedthecompanionofherramblesforatime，shestillpersistedinwanderinginthefieldsandlanesthatlayinthenearestproximitytotheroad；
and，whethershetalkedtomeorreadthebookshecarriedinherhand，shekeptcontinuallypausingtolookroundher，orgazeuptheroadtoseeifanyonewascoming；andifahorsemantrottedby，Icouldtellbyherunqualifiedabuseofthepoorequestrian，whoeverhemightbe，thatshehatedhimBECAUSEhewasnotMr。
Hatfield。
\'Surely，\'thoughtI，\'sheisnotsoindifferenttohimasshebelievesherselftobe，orwouldhaveotherstobelieveher；andhermother\'sanxietyisnotsowhollycauselessassheaffirms。\'
Threedayspassedaway，andhedidnotmakehisappearance。Ontheafternoonofthefourth，aswewerewalkingbesidethepark-palingsinthememorablefield，eachfurnishedwithabook(forIalwaystookcaretoprovidemyselfwithsomethingtobedoingwhenshedidnotrequiremetotalk)，shesuddenlyinterruptedmystudiesbyexclaiming-
\'Oh，MissGrey!dobesokindastogoandseeMarkWood，andtakehiswifehalf-a-crownfromme-Ishouldhavegivenorsentitaweekago，butquiteforgot。There!\'saidshe，throwingmeherpurse，andspeakingveryfast-\'Nevermindgettingitoutnow，buttakethepurseandgivethemwhatyoulike；Iwouldgowithyou，butIwanttofinishthisvolume。I\'llcomeandmeetyouwhenI\'vedoneit。Bequick，willyou-and-oh，wait；hadn\'tyoubetterreadtohimabit？Runtothehouseandgetsomesortofagoodbook。Anythingwilldo。\'
IdidasIwasdesired；but，suspectingsomethingfromherhurriedmannerandthesuddennessoftherequest，IjustglancedbackbeforeIquittedthefield，andtherewasMr。Hatfieldabouttoenteratthegatebelow。Bysendingmetothehouseforabook，shehadjustpreventedmymeetinghimontheroad。
\'Nevermind!\'thoughtI，\'there\'llbenogreatharmdone。PoorMarkwillbegladofthehalf-crown，andperhapsofthegoodbooktoo；andiftheRectordoesstealMissRosalie\'sheart，itwillonlyhumbleherpridealittle；andiftheydogetmarriedatlast，itwillonlysaveherfromaworsefate；andshewillbequiteagoodenoughpartnerforhim，andheforher。\'
MarkWoodwastheconsumptivelabourerwhomImentionedbefore。
Hewasnowrapidlywearingaway。MissMurray，byherliberality，obtainedliterallytheblessingofhimthatwasreadytoperish；
forthoughthehalf-crowncouldbeofverylittleservicetohim，hewasgladofitforthesakeofhiswifeandchildren，sosoontobewidowedandfatherless。AfterIhadsatafewminutes，andreadalittleforthecomfortandedificationofhimselfandhisafflictedwife，Ileftthem；butIhadnotproceededfiftyyardsbeforeIencounteredMr。Weston，apparentlyonhiswaytothesameabode。Hegreetedmeinhisusualquiet，unaffectedway，stoppedtoinquireabouttheconditionofthesickmanandhisfamily，andwithasortofunconscious，brotherlydisregardtoceremonytookfrommyhandthebookoutofwhichIhadbeenreading，turnedoveritspages，madeafewbriefbutverysensibleremarks，andrestoredit；thentoldmeaboutsomepoorsuffererhehadjustbeenvisiting，talkedalittleaboutNancyBrown，madeafewobservationsuponmylittleroughfriendtheterrier，thatwasfriskingathisfeet，andfinallyuponthebeautyoftheweather，anddeparted。
Ihaveomittedtogiveadetailofhiswords，fromanotionthattheywouldnotinterestthereaderastheydidme，andnotbecauseIhaveforgottenthem。No；Irememberthemwell；forIthoughtthemoverandoveragaininthecourseofthatdayandmanysucceedingones，Iknownothowoften；andrecalledeveryintonationofhisdeep，clearvoice，everyflashofhisquick，browneye，andeverygleamofhispleasant，buttootransientsmile。Suchaconfessionwilllookveryabsurd，Ifear:
butnomatter:Ihavewrittenit:andtheythatreaditwillnotknowthewriter。
WhileIwaswalkingalong，happywithin，andpleasedwithallaround，MissMurraycamehasteningtomeetme；herbuoyantstep，flushedcheek，andradiantsmilesshowingthatshe，too，washappy，inherownway。Runninguptome，sheputherarmthroughmine，andwithoutwaitingtorecoverbreath，began-\'Now，MissGrey，thinkyourselfhighlyhonoured，forI\'mcometotellyoumynewsbeforeI\'vebreathedawordofittoanyoneelse。\'
\'Well，whatisit？\'
\'Oh，SUCHnews!Inthefirstplace，youmustknowthatMr。
Hatfieldcameuponmejustafteryouweregone。Iwasinsuchawayforfearpapaormammashouldseehim；butyouknowIcouldn\'tcallyoubackagain，andso!-oh，dear!Ican\'ttellyouallaboutitnow，forthere\'sMatilda，Isee，inthepark，andImustgoandopenmybudgettoher。But，however，Hatfieldwasmostuncommonlyaudacious，unspeakablycomplimentary，andunprecedentedlytender-triedtobeso，atleast-hedidn\'tsucceedverywellinTHAT，becauseit\'snothisvein。I\'lltellyouallhesaidanothertime。\'
\'ButwhatdidYOUsay-I\'mmoreinterestedinthat？\'
\'I\'lltellyouthat，too，atsomefutureperiod。Ihappenedtobeinaverygoodhumourjustthen；but，thoughIwascomplaisantandgraciousenough，Itookcarenottocompromisemyselfinanypossibleway。But，however，theconceitedwretchchosetointerpretmyamiabilityoftemperhisownway，andatlengthpresumeduponmyindulgencesofar-whatdoyouthink？-heactuallymademeanoffer!\'
\'Andyou-\'
\'Iproudlydrewmyselfup，andwiththegreatestcoolnessexpressedmyastonishmentatsuchanoccurrence，andhopedhehadseennothinginmyconducttojustifyhisexpectations。YoushouldhaveSEENhowhiscountenancefell!Hewentperfectlywhiteintheface。IassuredhimthatIesteemedhimandallthat，butcouldnotpossiblyaccedetohisproposals；andifIdid，papaandmammacouldneverbebroughttogivetheirconsent。\'
\'"Butiftheycould，"saidhe，"wouldyoursbewanting？"
\'"Certainly，Mr。Hatfield，"Ireplied，withacooldecisionwhichquelledallhopeatonce。Oh，ifyouhadseenhowdreadfullymortifiedhewas-howcrushedtotheearthbyhisdisappointment!
really，Ialmostpitiedhimmyself。
\'Onemoredesperateattempt，however，hemade。Afterasilenceofconsiderableduration，duringwhichhestruggledtobecalm，andI
tobegrave-forIfeltastrongpropensitytolaugh-whichwouldhaveruinedall-hesaid，withtheghostofasmile-"Buttellmeplainly，MissMurray，ifIhadthewealthofSirHughMeltham，ortheprospectsofhiseldestson，wouldyoustillrefuseme？Answermetruly，uponyourhonour。"
\'"Certainly，"saidI。"Thatwouldmakenodifferencewhatever。"
\'Itwasagreatlie，buthelookedsoconfidentinhisownattractionsstill，thatIdeterminednottoleavehimonestoneuponanother。Helookedmefullintheface；butIkeptmycountenancesowellthathecouldnotimagineIwassayinganythingmorethantheactualtruth。
\'"Thenit\'sallover，Isuppose，"hesaid，lookingasifhecouldhavediedonthespotwithvexationandtheintensityofhisdespair。Buthewasangryaswellasdisappointed。Therewashe，sufferingsounspeakably，andtherewasI，thepitilesscauseofitall，soutterlyimpenetrabletoalltheartilleryofhislooksandwords，socalmlycoldandproud，hecouldnotbutfeelsomeresentment；andwithsingularbitternesshebegan-"Icertainlydidnotexpectthis，MissMurray。Imightsaysomethingaboutyourpastconduct，andthehopesyouhaveledmetofoster，butI
forbear，oncondition-"
\'"Noconditions，Mr。Hatfield!"saidI，nowtrulyindignantathisinsolence。
\'"Thenletmebegitasafavour，"hereplied，loweringhisvoiceatonce，andtakingahumblertone:"letmeentreatthatyouwillnotmentionthisaffairtoanyonewhatever。Ifyouwillkeepsilenceaboutit，thereneedbenounpleasantnessoneitherside-
nothing，Imean，beyondwhatisquiteunavoidable:formyownfeelingsIwillendeavourtokeeptomyself，ifIcannotannihilatethem-Iwilltrytoforgive，ifIcannotforgetthecauseofmysufferings。Iwillnotsuppose，MissMurray，thatyouknowhowdeeplyyouhaveinjuredme。Iwouldnothaveyouawareofit；
butif，inadditiontotheinjuryyouhavealreadydoneme-pardonme，but，whetherinnocentlyornot，youHAVEdoneit-andifyouaddtoitbygivingpublicitytothisunfortunateaffair，ornamingitATALL，youwillfindthatItoocanspeak，andthoughyouscornedmylove，youwillhardlyscornmy-"
\'Hestopped，buthebithisbloodlesslip，andlookedsoterriblyfiercethatIwasquitefrightened。However，myprideupheldmestill，andIanswereddisdainfully；"IdonotknowwhatmotiveyousupposeIcouldhavefornamingittoanyone，Mr。Hatfield；butifIweredisposedtodoso，youwouldnotdetermebythreats；anditisscarcelythepartofagentlemantoattemptit。"
\'"Pardonme，MissMurray，"saidhe，"Ihavelovedyousointensely-Idostilladoreyousodeeply，thatIwouldnotwillinglyoffendyou；butthoughIneverhaveloved，andneverCANloveanywomanasIhavelovedyou，itisequallycertainthatIneverwassoill-
treatedbyany。Onthecontrary，IhavealwaysfoundyoursexthekindestandmosttenderandobligingofGod\'screation，tillnow。"
(Thinkoftheconceitedfellowsayingthat!)"Andthenoveltyandharshnessofthelessonyouhavetaughtmeto-day，andthebitternessofbeingdisappointedintheonlyquarteronwhichthehappinessofmylifedepended，mustexcuseanyappearanceofasperity。Ifmypresenceisdisagreeabletoyou，MissMurray，"
hesaid(forIwaslookingaboutmetoshowhowlittleIcaredforhim，sohethoughtIwastiredofhim，Isuppose)-"ifmypresenceisdisagreeabletoyou，MissMurray，youhaveonlytopromisemethefavourInamed，andIwillrelieveyouatonce。Therearemanyladies-someeveninthisparish-whowouldbedelightedtoacceptwhatyouhavesoscornfullytrampledunderyourfeet。Theywouldbenaturallyinclinedtohateonewhosesurpassinglovelinesshassocompletelyestrangedmyheartfromthemandblindedmetotheirattractions；andasinglehintofthetruthfrommetooneofthesewouldbesufficienttoraisesuchatalkagainstyouaswouldseriouslyinjureyourprospects，anddiminishyourchanceofsuccesswithanyothergentlemanyouoryourmammamightdesigntoentangle。"
\'"Whatdoyourmean，sir？"saidI，readytostampwithpassion。
\'"Imeanthatthisaffairfrombeginningtoendappearstomelikeacaseofarrantflirtation，tosaytheleastofit-suchacaseasyouwouldfinditratherinconvenienttohaveblazonedthroughtheworld:especiallywiththeadditionsandexaggerationsofyourfemalerivals，whowouldbetoogladtopublishthematter，ifI
onlygavethemahandletoit。ButIpromiseyou，onthefaithofagentleman，thatnowordorsyllablethatcouldtendtoyourprejudiceshalleverescapemylips，providedyouwill-"
\'"Well，well，Iwon\'tmentionit，"saidI。"Youmayrelyuponmysilence，ifthatcanaffordyouanyconsolation。"
\'"Youpromiseit？"
\'"Yes，"Ianswered；forIwantedtogetridofhimnow。
\'"Farewell，then!"saidhe，inamostdoleful，heart-sicktone；andwithalookwherepridevainlystruggledagainstdespair，heturnedandwentaway:longing，nodoubt，togethome，thathemightshuthimselfupinhisstudyandcry-ifhedoesn\'tburstintotearsbeforehegetsthere。\'
\'Butyouhavebrokenyourpromisealready，\'saidI，trulyhorrifiedatherperfidy。
\'Oh!it\'sonlytoyou；Iknowyouwon\'trepeatit。\'
\'Certainly，Ishallnot:butyousayyouaregoingtotellyoursister；andshewilltellyourbrotherswhentheycomehome，andBrownimmediately，ifyoudonottellheryourself；andBrownwillblazonit，orbethemeansofblazoningit，throughoutthecountry。\'
\'No，indeed，shewon\'t。Weshallnottellheratall，unlessitbeunderthepromiseofthestrictestsecrecy。\'
\'Buthowcanyouexpecthertokeepherpromisesbetterthanhermoreenlightenedmistress？\'
\'Well，well，sheshan\'thearitthen，\'saidMissMurray，somewhatsnappishly。
\'Butyouwilltellyourmamma，ofcourse，\'pursuedI；\'andshewilltellyourpapa。\'
\'OfcourseIshalltellmamma-thatistheverythingthatpleasesmesomuch。Ishallnowbeabletoconvinceherhowmistakenshewasinherfearsaboutme。\'
\'Oh，THAT\'Sit，isit？Iwaswonderingwhatitwasthatdelightedyousomuch。\'
\'Yes；andanotherthingis，thatI\'vehumbledMr。Hatfieldsocharmingly；andanother-why，youmustallowmesomeshareoffemalevanity:Idon\'tpretendtobewithoutthatmostessentialattributeofoursex-andifyouhadseenpoorHatfield\'sintenseeagernessinmakinghisardentdeclarationandhisflatteringproposal，andhisagonyofmind，thatnoeffortofpridecouldconceal，onbeingrefused，youwouldhaveallowedIhadsomecausetobegratified。\'
\'Thegreaterhisagony，Ishouldthink，thelessyourcauseforgratification。\'
\'Oh，nonsense!\'criedtheyounglady，shakingherselfwithvexation。\'Youeithercan\'tunderstandme，oryouwon\'t。
IfIhadnotconfidenceinyourmagnanimity，Ishouldthinkyouenviedme。
Butyouwill，perhaps，comprehendthiscauseofpleasure-whichisasgreatasany-namely，thatIamdelightedwithmyselfformyprudence，myself-command，myheartlessness，ifyouplease。I
wasnotabittakenbysurprise，notabitconfused，orawkward，orfoolish；IjustactedandspokeasIoughttohavedone，andwascompletelymyownmistressthroughout。Andherewasaman，decidedlygood-looking-JaneandSusanGreencallhimbewitchinglyhandsomeIsupposethey\'retwooftheladieshepretendswouldbesogladtohavehim；but，however，hewascertainlyaveryclever，witty，agreeablecompanion-notwhatyoucallclever，butjustenoughtomakehimentertaining；andamanoneneedn\'tbeashamedofanywhere，andwouldnotsoongrowtiredof；andtoconfessthetruth，Iratherlikedhim-bettereven，oflate，thanHarryMeltham-andheevidentlyidolisedme；andyet，thoughhecameuponmeallaloneandunprepared，Ihadthewisdom，andthepride，andthestrengthtorefusehim-andsoscornfullyandcoollyasI
did:Ihavegoodreasontobeproudofthat。\'
\'AndareyouequallyproudofhavingtoldhimthathishavingthewealthofSirHughMelthamwouldmakenodifferencetoyou，whenthatwasnotthecase；andofhavingpromisedtotellnooneofhismisadventure，apparentlywithouttheslightestintentionofkeepingyourpromise？\'
\'Ofcourse!whatelsecouldIdo？Youwouldnothavehadme-
butIsee，MissGrey，you\'renotinagoodtemper。Here\'sMatilda；
I\'llseewhatsheandmammahavetosayaboutit。\'
Sheleftme，offendedatmywantofsympathy，andthinking，nodoubt，thatIenviedher。Ididnot-atleast，IfirmlybelievedIdidnot。Iwassorryforher；Iwasamazed，disgustedatherheartlessvanity；Iwonderedwhysomuchbeautyshouldbegiventothosewhomadesobadauseofit，anddeniedtosomewhowouldmakeitabenefittoboththemselvesandothers。
But，Godknowsbest，Iconcluded。Thereare，Isuppose，somemenasvain，asselfish，andasheartlessassheis，and，perhaps，suchwomenmaybeusefultopunishthem。
chapter15
CHAPTERXV-THEWALK
\'OH，dear!IwishHatfieldhadnotbeensoprecipitate!\'saidRosalienextdayatfourP。M。，as，withaportentousyawn，shelaiddownherworsted-workandlookedlistlesslytowardsthewindow。
\'There\'snoinducementtogooutnow；andnothingtolookforwardto。Thedayswillbesolonganddullwhentherearenopartiestoenliventhem；andtherearenonethisweek，ornexteither，thatI
knowof。\'
\'Pityyouweresocrosstohim，\'observedMatilda，towhomthislamentationwasaddressed。\'He\'llnevercomeagain:andIsuspectyoulikedhimafterall。Ihopedyouwouldhavetakenhimforyourbeau，andleftdearHarrytome。\'
\'Humph!mybeaumustbeanAdonisindeed，Matilda，theadmiredofallbeholders，ifIamtobecontentedwithhimalone。I\'msorrytoloseHatfield，Iconfess；butthefirstdecentman，ornumberofmen，thatcometosupplyhisplace，willbemorethanwelcome。
It\'sSundayto-morrow-Idowonderhowhe\'lllook，andwhetherhe\'llbeabletogothroughtheservice。Mostlikelyhe\'llpretendhe\'sgotacold，andmakeMr。Westondoitall。\'
\'Nothe!\'exclaimedMatilda，somewhatcontemptuously。\'Foolasheis，he\'snotsosoftasthatcomesto。\'
Hersisterwasslightlyoffended；buttheeventprovedMatildawasright:thedisappointedloverperformedhispastoraldutiesasusual。Rosalie，indeed，affirmedhelookedverypaleanddejected:
hemightbealittlepaler；butthedifference，ifany，wasscarcelyperceptible。Asforhisdejection，Icertainlydidnothearhislaughringingfromthevestryasusual，norhisvoiceloudinhilariousdiscourse；thoughIdidhearitupliftedinratingthesextoninamannerthatmadethecongregationstare；and，inhistransitstoandfromthepulpitandthecommunion-table，therewasmoreofsolemnpomp，andlessofthatirreverent，self-confident，orratherself-delightedimperiousnesswithwhichheusuallysweptalong-thatairthatseemedtosay，\'Youallreverenceandadoreme，Iknow；butifanyonedoesnot，Idefyhimtotheteeth!\'
Butthemostremarkablechangewas，thatheneveroncesufferedhiseyestowanderinthedirectionofMr。Murray\'spew，anddidnotleavethechurchtillweweregone。
Mr。Hatfieldhaddoubtlessreceivedaverysevereblow；buthisprideimpelledhimtouseeveryefforttoconcealtheeffectsofit。Hehadbeendisappointedinhiscertainhopeofobtainingnotonlyabeautiful，and，tohim，highlyattractivewife，butonewhoserankandfortunemightgivebrilliancetofarinferiorcharms:hewaslikewise，nodoubt，intenselymortifiedbyhisrepulse，anddeeplyoffendedattheconductofMissMurraythroughout。Itwouldhavegivenhimnolittleconsolationtohaveknownhowdisappointedshewastofindhimapparentlysolittlemoved，andtoseethathewasabletorefrainfromcastingasingleglanceatherthroughoutbothservices；though，shedeclared，itshowedhewasthinkingofherallthetime，orhiseyeswouldhavefallenuponher，ifitwereonlybychance:butiftheyhadsochancedtofall，shewouldhaveaffirmeditwasbecausetheycouldnotresisttheattraction。Itmighthavepleasedhim，too，insomedegree，tohaveseenhowdullanddissatisfiedshewasthroughoutthatweek(thegreaterpartofit，atleast)，forlackofherusualsourceofexcitement；andhowoftensheregrettedhaving\'usedhimupsosoon，\'likeachildthat，havingdevoureditsplumcaketoohastily，sitssuckingitsfingers，andvainlylamentingitsgreediness。
AtlengthIwascalledupon，onefinemorning，toaccompanyherinawalktothevillage。OstensiblyshewenttogetsomeshadesofBerlinwool，atatolerablyrespectableshopthatwaschieflysupportedbytheladiesofthevicinity:really-ItrustthereisnobreachofcharityinsupposingthatshewentwiththeideaofmeetingeitherwiththeRectorhimself，orsomeotheradmirerbytheway；foraswewentalong，shekeptwondering\'whatHatfieldwoulddoorsay，ifwemethim，\'&；c。&；c。；aswepassedMr。Green\'spark-gates，she\'wonderedwhetherhewasathome-greatstupidblockhead\'；asLadyMeltham\'scarriagepassedus，she\'wonderedwhatMr。Harrywasdoingthisfineday\'；andthenbegantoabusehiselderbrotherforbeing\'suchafoolastogetmarriedandgoandliveinLondon。\'
\'Why，\'saidI，\'IthoughtyouwantedtoliveinLondonyourself。\'
\'Yes，becauseit\'ssodullhere:butthenhemakesitstilldullerbytakinghimselfoff:andifhewerenotmarriedImighthavehiminsteadofthatodiousSirThomas。\'
Then，observingtheprintsofahorse\'sfeetonthesomewhatmiryroad，she\'wonderedwhetheritwasagentleman\'shorse，\'andfinallyconcludeditwas，fortheimpressionsweretoosmalltohavebeenmadebya\'greatclumsycart-horse\'；andthenshe\'wonderedwhotheridercouldbe，\'andwhetherweshouldmeethimcomingback，forshewassurehehadonlypassedthatmorning；andlastly，whenweenteredthevillageandsawonlyafewofitshumbleinhabitantsmovingabout，she\'wonderedwhythestupidpeoplecouldn\'tkeepintheirhouses；shewassureshedidn\'twanttoseetheiruglyfaces，anddirty，vulgarclothes-itwasn\'tforthatshecametoHorton!\'
Amidallthis，Iconfess，Iwondered，too，insecret，whetherweshouldmeet，orcatchaglimpseofsomebodyelse；andaswepassedhislodgings，Ievenwentsofarastowonderwhetherhewasatthewindow。Onenteringtheshop，MissMurraydesiredmetostandinthedoorwaywhileshetransactedherbusiness，andtellherifanyonepassed。Butalas!therewasnoonevisiblebesidesthevillagers，exceptJaneandSusanGreencomingdownthesinglestreet，apparentlyreturningfromawalk。
\'Stupidthings!\'mutteredshe，asshecameoutafterhavingconcludedherbargain。\'Whycouldn\'ttheyhavetheirdoltofabrotherwiththem？evenhewouldbebetterthannothing。\'
Shegreetedthem，however，withacheerfulsmile，andprotestationsofpleasureatthehappymeetingequaltotheirown。Theyplacedthemselvesoneoneachsideofher，andallthreewalkedawaychattingandlaughingasyoungladiesdowhentheygettogether，iftheybebutontolerablyintimateterms。ButI，feelingmyselftobeonetoomany，leftthemtotheirmerrimentandlaggedbehind，asusualonsuchoccasions:IhadnorelishforwalkingbesideMissGreenorMissSusanlikeonedeafanddumb，whocouldneitherspeaknorbespokento。
ButthistimeIwasnotlongalone。Itstruckme，first，asveryodd，thatjustasIwasthinkingaboutMr。Westonheshouldcomeupandaccostme；butafterwards，onduereflection，Ithoughttherewasnothingoddaboutit，unlessitwerethefactofhisspeakingtome；foronsuchamorningandsonearhisownabode，itwasnaturalenoughthatheshouldbeabout；andasformythinkingofhim，Ihadbeendoingthat，withlittleintermission，eversincewesetoutonourjourney；sotherewasnothingremarkableinthat。
\'Youarealoneagain，MissGrey，\'saidhe。
\'Yes。\'
\'Whatkindofpeoplearethoseladies-theMissesGreen？\'
\'Ireallydon\'tknow。\'
\'That\'sstrange-whenyoulivesonearandseethemsooften!\'
\'Well，Isupposetheyarelively，good-temperedgirls；butI
imagineyoumustknowthembetterthanIdo，yourself，forIneverexchangedawordwitheitherofthem。\'
\'Indeed？Theydon\'tstrikemeasbeingparticularlyreserved。\'
\'Verylikelytheyarenotsotopeopleoftheirownclass；buttheyconsiderthemselvesasmovinginquiteadifferentspherefromme!\'
Hemadenoreplytothis:butafterashortpause，hesaid，-
\'I
supposeit\'sthesethings，MissGrey，thatmakeyouthinkyoucouldnotlivewithoutahome？\'
\'Notexactly。ThefactisIamtoosociallydisposedtobeabletolivecontentedlywithoutafriend；andastheonlyfriendsIhave，oramlikelytohave，areathome，ifit-orrather，iftheyweregone-IwillnotsayIcouldnotlive-butIwouldrathernotliveinsuchadesolateworld。\'
\'Butwhydoyousaytheonlyfriendsyouarelikelytohave？Areyousounsociablethatyoucannotmakefriends？\'
\'No，butInevermadeoneyet；andinmypresentpositionthereisnopossibilityofdoingso，orevenofformingacommonacquaintance。Thefaultmaybepartlyinmyself，butIhopenotaltogether。\'
\'Thefaultispartlyinsociety，andpartly，Ishouldthink，inyourimmediateneighbours:andpartly，too，inyourself；formanyladies，inyourposition，wouldmakethemselvesbenoticedandaccountedof。Butyourpupilsshouldbecompanionsforyouinsomedegree；theycannotbemanyyearsyoungerthanyourself。\'
\'Oh，yes，theyaregoodcompanysometimes；butIcannotcallthemfriends，norwouldtheythinkofbestowingsuchanameonme-theyhaveothercompanionsbettersuitedtotheirtastes。\'
\'Perhapsyouaretoowiseforthem。Howdoyouamuseyourselfwhenalone-doyoureadmuch？\'
\'Readingismyfavouriteoccupation，whenIhaveleisureforitandbookstoread。\'
Fromspeakingofbooksingeneral，hepassedtodifferentbooksinparticular，andproceededbyrapidtransitionsfromtopictotopic，tillseveralmatters，bothoftasteandopinion，hadbeendiscussedconsiderablywithinthespaceofhalfanhour，butwithouttheembellishmentofmanyobservationsfromhimself；hebeingevidentlylessbentuponcommunicatinghisownthoughtsandpredilections，thanondiscoveringmine。Hehadnotthetact，ortheart，toeffectsuchapurposebyskilfullydrawingoutmysentimentsorideasthroughtherealorapparentstatementofhisown，orleadingtheconversationbyimperceptiblegradationstosuchtopicsashewishedtoadvertto:butsuchgentleabruptness，andsuchsingle-
mindedstraightforwardness，couldnotpossiblyoffendme。
\'Andwhyshouldheinteresthimselfatallinmymoralandintellectualcapacities:whatisittohimwhatIthinkorfeel？\'
Iaskedmyself。Andmyheartthrobbedinanswertothequestion。
ButJaneandSusanGreensoonreachedtheirhome。Astheystoodparleyingatthepark-gates，attemptingtopersuadeMissMurraytocomein，IwishedMr。Westonwouldgo，thatshemightnotseehimwithmewhensheturnedround；but，unfortunately，hisbusiness，whichwastopayonemorevisittopoorMarkWood，ledhimtopursuethesamepathaswedid，tillnearlythecloseofourjourney。When，however，hesawthatRosaliehadtakenleaveofherfriendsandIwasabouttojoinher，hewouldhaveleftmeandpassedonataquickerpace；but，ashecivillyliftedhishatinpassingher，tomysurprise，insteadofreturningthesalutewithastiff，ungraciousbow，sheaccostedhimwithoneofhersweetestsmiles，and，walkingbyhisside，begantotalktohimwithallimaginablecheerfulnessandaffability；andsoweproceededallthreetogether。
Afterashortpauseintheconversation，Mr。Westonmadesomeremarkaddressedparticularlytome，asreferringtosomethingwehadbeentalkingofbefore；butbeforeIcouldanswer，MissMurrayrepliedtotheobservationandenlargeduponit:herejoined；
and，fromthencetothecloseoftheinterview，sheengrossedhimentirelytoherself。Itmightbepartlyowingtomyownstupidity，mywantoftactandassurance:butIfeltmyselfwronged:
I
trembledwithapprehension；andIlistenedwithenvytohereasy，rapidflowofutterance，andsawwithanxietythebrightsmilewithwhichshelookedintohisfacefromtimetotime:forshewaswalkingalittleinadvance，forthepurpose(asIjudged)ofbeingseenaswellasheard。Ifherconversationwaslightandtrivial，itwasamusing，andshewasneveratalossforsomethingtosay，orforsuitablewordstoexpressitin。Therewasnothingpertorflippantinhermannernow，aswhenshewalkedwithMr。Hatfield，therewasonlyagentle，playfulkindofvivacity，whichIthoughtmustbepeculiarlypleasingtoamanofMr。Weston\'sdispositionandtemperament。
Whenhewasgoneshebegantolaugh，andmutteredtoherself，\'I
thoughtIcoulddoit!\'
\'Dowhat？\'Iasked。
\'Fixthatman。\'
\'Whatintheworlddoyoumean？\'
\'Imeanthathewillgohomeanddreamofme。Ihaveshothimthroughtheheart!\'
\'Howdoyouknow？\'
\'Bymanyinfallibleproofs:moreespeciallythelookhegavemewhenhewentaway。Itwasnotanimpudentlook-Iexoneratehimfromthat-itwasalookofreverential，tenderadoration。Ha，ha!he\'snotquitesuchastupidblockheadasIthoughthim!\'
Imadenoanswer，formyheartwasinmythroat，orsomethinglikeit，andIcouldnottrustmyselftospeak。\'OGod，avertit!\'
I
cried，internally-\'forhissake，notformine!\'
MissMurraymadeseveraltrivialobservationsaswepassedupthepark，towhich(inspiteofmyreluctancetoletoneglimpseofmyfeelingsappear)Icouldonlyanswerbymonosyllables。Whethersheintendedtotormentme，ormerelytoamuseherself，Icouldnottell-anddidnotmuchcare；butIthoughtofthepoormanandhisonelamb，andtherichmanwithhisthousandflocks；andIdreadedIknewnotwhatforMr。Weston，independentlyofmyownblightedhopes。
RightgladwasItogetintothehouse，andfindmyselfaloneoncemoreinmyownroom。Myfirstimpulsewastosinkintothechairbesidethebed；andlayingmyheadonthepillow，toseekreliefinapassionateburstoftears:therewasanimperativecravingforsuchanindulgence；but，alas!Imustrestrainandswallowbackmyfeelingsstill:therewasthebell-theodiousbellfortheschoolroomdinner；andImustgodownwithacalmface，andsmile，andlaugh，andtalknonsense-yes，andeat，too，ifpossible，asifallwasright，andIwasjustreturnedfromapleasantwalk。
chapter16
CHAPTERXVI-THESUBSTITUTION
NEXTSundaywasoneofthegloomiestofAprildays-adayofthick，darkclouds，andheavyshowers。NoneoftheMurraysweredisposedtoattendchurchintheafternoon，exceptingRosalie:
