第5章

Often，whentheyhadnomoreagreeableoccupationathand，theMissesMurraywouldamusethemselveswithvisitingthepoorcottagersontheirfather\'sestate，toreceivetheirflatteringhomage，ortoheartheoldstoriesorgossipingnewsofthegarrulousoldwomen；or，perhaps，toenjoythepurerpleasureofmakingthepoorpeoplehappywiththeircheeringpresenceandtheiroccasionalgifts，soeasilybestowed，sothankfullyreceived。

Sometimes，Iwascalledupontoaccompanyoneorbothofthesistersinthesevisits；andsometimesIwasdesiredtogoalone，tofulfilsomepromisewhichtheyhadbeenmorereadytomakethantoperform；tocarrysomesmalldonation，orreadtoonewhowassickorseriouslydisposed:andthusImadeafewacquaintancesamongthecottagers；and，occasionally，Iwenttoseethemonmyownaccount。

Igenerallyhadmoresatisfactioningoingalonethanwitheitheroftheyoungladies；forthey，chieflyowingtotheirdefectiveeducation，comportedthemselvestowardstheirinferiorsinamannerthatwashighlydisagreeableformetowitness。Theynever，inthought，exchangedplaceswiththem；and，consequently，hadnoconsiderationfortheirfeelings，regardingthemasanorderofbeingsentirelydifferentfromthemselves。Theywouldwatchthepoorcreaturesattheirmeals，makinguncivilremarksabouttheirfood，andtheirmannerofeating；theywouldlaughattheirsimplenotionsandprovincialexpressions，tillsomeofthemscarcelydurstventuretospeak；theywouldcallthegraveelderlymenandwomenoldfoolsandsillyoldblockheadstotheirfaces:andallthiswithoutmeaningtooffend。Icouldseethatthepeoplewereoftenhurtandannoyedbysuchconduct，thoughtheirfearofthe\'grandladies\'preventedthemfromtestifyinganyresentment；butTHEYneverperceivedit。Theythoughtthat，asthesecottagerswerepooranduntaught，theymustbestupidandbrutish；andaslongasthey，theirsuperiors，condescendedtotalktothem，andtogivethemshillingsandhalf-crowns，orarticlesofclothing，theyhadarighttoamusethemselves，evenattheirexpense；andthepeoplemustadorethemasangelsoflight，condescendingtoministertotheirnecessities，andenlightentheirhumbledwellings。

Imademanyandvariousattemptstodelivermypupilsfromthesedelusivenotionswithoutalarmingtheirpride-whichwaseasilyoffended，andnotsoonappeased-butwithlittleapparentresult；

andIknownotwhichwasthemorereprehensibleofthetwo:

Matildawasmorerudeandboisterous；butfromRosalie\'swomanlyageandlady-likeexteriorbetterthingswereexpected:yetshewasasprovokinglycarelessandinconsiderateasagiddychildoftwelve。

OnebrightdayinthelastweekofFebruary，Iwaswalkinginthepark，enjoyingthethreefoldluxuryofsolitude，abook，andpleasantweather；forMissMatildahadsetoutonherdailyride，andMissMurraywasgoneinthecarriagewithhermammatopaysomemorningcalls。ButitstruckmethatIoughttoleavetheseselfishpleasures，andtheparkwithitsgloriouscanopyofbrightbluesky，thewestwindsoundingthroughitsyetleaflessbranches，thesnow-wreathsstilllingeringinitshollows，butmeltingfastbeneaththesun，andthegracefuldeerbrowsingonitsmoistherbagealreadyassumingthefreshnessandverdureofspring-andgotothecottageofoneNancyBrown，awidow，whosesonwasatworkalldayinthefields，andwhowasafflictedwithaninflammationintheeyes；whichhadforsometimeincapacitatedherfromreading:toherowngreatgrief，forshewasawomanofaserious，thoughtfulturnofmind。Iaccordinglywent，andfoundheralone，asusual，inherlittle，close，darkcottage，redolentofsmokeandconfinedair，butastidyandcleanasshecouldmakeit。Shewasseatedbesideherlittlefire(consistingofafewredcindersandabitofstick)，busilyknitting，withasmallsackclothcushionatherfeet，placedfortheaccommodationofhergentlefriendthecat，whowasseatedthereon，withherlongtailhalfencirclinghervelvetpaws，andherhalf-closedeyesdreamilygazingonthelow，crookedfender。

\'Well，Nancy，howareyouto-day？\'

\'Why，middling，Miss，i\'myseln-myeyesisnobetter，butI\'madealeasieri\'mymindnorIhavebeen，\'repliedshe，risingtowelcomemewithacontentedsmile；whichIwasgladtosee，forNancyhadbeensomewhatafflictedwithreligiousmelancholy。I

congratulatedheruponthechange。Sheagreedthatitwasagreatblessing，andexpressedherself\'rightdownthankfulforit\'；

adding，\'IfitpleaseGodtosparemysight，andmakemesoasI

canreadmyBibleagain，IthinkIshallbeashappyasaqueen。\'

\'IhopeHewill，Nancy，\'repliedI；\'and，meantime，I\'llcomeandreadtoyounowandthen，whenIhavealittletimetospare。\'

Withexpressionsofgratefulpleasure，thepoorwomanmovedtogetmeachair；but，asIsavedherthetrouble，shebusiedherselfwithstirringthefire，andaddingafewmorestickstothedecayingembers；andthen，takingherwell-usedBiblefromtheshelf，dusteditcarefully，andgaveitme。Onmyaskingiftherewasanyparticularpartsheshouldlikemetoread，sheanswered-

\'Well，MissGrey，ifit\'sallthesametoyou，IshouldliketohearthatchapterintheFirstEpistleofSt。John，thatsays，"Godislove，andhethatdwellethinlovedwellethinGod，andGodinhim。"\'

Withalittlesearching，Ifoundthesewordsinthefourthchapter。

WhenIcametotheseventhversesheinterruptedme，and，withneedlessapologiesforsuchaliberty，desiredmetoreaditveryslowly，thatshemighttakeitallin，anddwelloneveryword；

hopingIwouldexcuseher，asshewasbuta\'simplebody。\'

\'Thewisestperson，\'Ireplied，\'mightthinkovereachoftheseversesforanhour，andbeallthebetterforit；andIwouldratherreadthemslowlythannot。\'

Accordingly，Ifinishedthechapterasslowlyasneedbe，andatthesametimeasimpressivelyasIcould；myauditorlistenedmostattentivelyallthewhile，andsincerelythankedmewhenIhaddone。Isatstillabouthalfaminutetogivehertimetoreflectuponit；when，somewhattomysurprise，shebrokethepausebyaskingmehowIlikedMr。Weston？

\'Idon\'tknow，\'Ireplied，alittlestartledbythesuddennessofthequestion；\'Ithinkhepreachesverywell。\'

\'Ay，hedoesso；andtalkswelltoo。\'

\'Doeshe？\'

\'Hedoes。Maybe，youhaven\'tseenhim-nottotalktohimmuch，yet？\'

\'No，Ineverseeanyonetotalkto-excepttheyoungladiesoftheHall。\'

\'Ah；they\'renice，kindyoungladies；buttheycan\'ttalkashedoes。\'

\'Thenhecomestoseeyou，Nancy？\'

\'Hedoes，Miss；andI\'sethankfulforit。HecomestoseealluspoorbodiesadealofternorMaisterBligh，orth\'Rectoreverdid；

an\'it\'swellhedoes，forhe\'salwayswelcome:wecan\'tsayasmuchforth\'Rector-thereis\'atsaysthey\'refairfearedonhim。

Whenhecomesintoahouse，theysayhe\'ssuretofindsummutwrong，andbegina-calling\'emassoonashecrossesth\'doorstuns:

butmaybehethinksithisdutyliketotell\'emwhat\'swrong。

Andveryofthecomeso\'purposetoreprovefolkfornotcomingtochurch，ornotkneelingan\'standingwhenotherfolkdoes，orgoingtotheMethodychapel，orsummuto\'thatsort:butIcan\'tsay\'atheeverfundmuchfaultwi\'me。Hecametoseemeonceortwice，aforeMaisterWestoncome，whenIwassoilltroubledinmymind；

andasIhadonlyverypoorhealthbesides，Imadeboldtosendforhim-andhecamerightenough。Iwassoredistressed，MissGrey-

thankGod，it\'sowerednow-butwhenItookmyBible，Icouldgetnocomfortofitatall。Thatverychapter\'atyou\'vejustbeenreadingtroubledmeasmuchasaught-"Hethatlovethnot，knowethnotGod。"Itseemedfearsometome；forIfeltthatIlovedneitherGodnormanasIshoulddo，andcouldnot，ifItriedeverso。Andth\'chapterafore，whereitsays，-"HethatisbornofGodcannotcommitsin。"Andanotherplacewhereitsays，-"LoveisthefulfillingoftheLaw。"Andmany，manyothers，Miss:

I

shouldfairwearyyouout，ifIwastotellthemall。Butallseemedtocondemnme，andtoshowme\'atIwasnotintherightway；andasIknewnothowtogetintoit，IsentourBilltobegMaisterHatfieldtobeaskindaslookinonmesomedayandwhenhecame，Itelledhimallmytroubles。\'

\'Andwhatdidhesay，Nancy？\'

\'Why，Miss，heseemedtoscornme。Imightbemista\'en-buthelikegaveasortofawhistle，andIsawabitofasmileonhisface；andhesaid，"Oh，it\'sallstuff!You\'vebeenamongtheMethodists，mygoodwoman。"ButItelledhimI\'dneverbeenneartheMethodies。Andthenhesaid，-"Well，"sayshe，"youmustcometochurch，whereyou\'llheartheScripturesproperlyexplained，insteadofsittingporingoveryourBibleathome。"

\'ButItelledhimIalwaysusedcomingtochurchwhenIhadmyhealth；butthisverycoldwinterweatherIhardlydurstventuresofar-andmesobadwi\'th\'rheumaticandall。

\'Buthesays，"It\'lldoyourrheumatizgoodtohobbletochurch:

there\'snothinglikeexercisefortherheumatiz。Youcanwalkaboutthehousewellenough；whycan\'tyouwalktochurch？Thefactis，"sayshe，"you\'regettingtoofondofyourease。It\'salwayseasytofindexcusesforshirkingone\'sduty。"

\'Butthen，youknow，MissGrey，itwasn\'tso。However，ItelledhimI\'dtry。"Butplease，sir，"saysI，"ifIdogotochurch，whatthebettershallIbe？Iwanttohavemysinsblottedout，andtofeelthattheyarerememberednomoreagainstme，andthattheloveofGodisshedabroadinmyheart；andifIcangetnogoodbyreadingmyBiblean\'sayingmyprayersathome，whatgoodshallIgetbygoingtochurch？\'

\'"Thechurch，"sayshe，"istheplaceappointedbyGodforHisworship。It\'syourdutytogothereasoftenasyoucan。

Ifyouwantcomfort，youmustseekitinthepathofduty，"-an\'adealmorehesaid，butIcannotrememberallhisfinewords。However，itallcametothis，thatIwastocometochurchasoftaseverI

could，andbringmyprayer-bookwithme，an\'readupallthesponsersaftertheclerk，an\'stand，an\'kneel，an\'sit，an\'doallasIshould，andtaketheLord\'sSupperateveryopportunity，an\'

hearkenhissermons，andMaisterBligh\'s，an\'it\'udbeallright:

ifIwentondoingmyduty，Ishouldgetablessingatlast。

\'"Butifyougetnocomfortthatway，"sayshe，"it\'sallup。"

\'"Then，sir，"saysI，"shouldyouthinkI\'mareprobate？"

\'"Why，"sayshe-hesays，"ifyoudoyourbesttogettoheavenandcan\'tmanageit，youmustbeoneofthosethatseektoenterinatthestraitgateandshallnotbeable。"

\'An\'thenheaskedmeifI\'dseenanyoftheladieso\'th\'Hallaboutthatmornin\'；soItelledhimwhereIhadseentheyoungmissesgoonth\'MossLane；-an\'hekickedmypoorcatrightacrossth\'floor，an\'wentafter\'emasgayasalark:butIwasverysad。Thatlastwordo\'hisfairsunkintomyheart，an\'laytherelikealumpo\'lead，tillIwaswearytobearit。

\'Howsever，Ifolleredhisadvice:Ithoughthemeantitallforth\'best，thoughheHADaqueerwaywithhim。Butyouknow，Miss，he\'srichan\'young，andsuchlikecannotrightunderstandthethoughtsofapooroldwomansuchasme。But，howsever，Ididmybesttodoallashebademe-butmaybeI\'mplaguingyou，Miss，wi\'mychatter。\'

\'Oh，no，Nancy!Goon，andtellmeall。\'

\'Well，myrheumatizgotbetter-Iknownotwhetherwi\'goingtochurchornot，butonefrostySundayIgotthiscoldi\'myeyes。

Th\'inflammationdidn\'tcomeonallatoncelike，butbitbybit-

butIwasn\'tgoingtotellyouaboutmyeyes，Iwastalkingaboutmytroubleo\'mind；-andtotellthetruth，MissGrey，Idon\'tthinkitwasanywayseasedbycomingtochurch-noughttospeakon，atleast:Ilikegotmyhealthbetter；butthatdidn\'tmendmysoul。Ihearkenedandhearkenedtheministers，andreadan\'readatmyprayer-book；butitwasalllikesoundingbrassandatinklingcymbal:thesermonsIcouldn\'tunderstand，an\'th\'

prayer-bookonlyservedtoshowmehowwickedIwas，thatIcouldreadsuchgoodwordsan\'neverbenobetterforit，andoftensfeelitasorelabouran\'aheavytaskbeside，insteadofablessingandaprivilegeasallgoodChristiansdoes。Itseemedlikeasallwerebarrenan\'darktome。Andthen，themdreadfulwords，"Manyshallseektoenterin，andshallnotbeable。"Theylikeastheyfairdriedupmysperrit。

\'ButoneSunday，whenMaisterHatfieldgaveoutaboutthesacrament，Inoticedwherehesaid，"Iftherebeanyofyouthatcannotquiethisownconscience，butrequirethfurthercomfortorcounsel，lethimcometome，orsomeotherdiscreetandlearnedministerofGod\'sword，andopenhisgrief!"SonextSundaymorning，aforeservice，Ijustlookedintothevestry，an\'begana-

talkingtoth\'Rectoragain。Ihardlycouldfashiontotakesuchaliberty，butIthoughtwhenmysoulwasatstakeIshouldn\'tstickatatrifle。Buthesaidhehadn\'ttimetoattendtomethen。

\'"And，indeed，"sayshe，"I\'venothingtosaytoyoubutwhatI\'vesaidbefore。Takethesacrament，ofcourse，andgoondoingyourduty；andifthatwon\'tserveyou，nothingwill。Sodon\'tbothermeanymore。"

\'Sothen，Iwentaway。ButIheardMaisterWeston-MaisterWestonwasthere，Miss-thiswashisfirstSundayatHorton，youknow，an\'hewasi\'th\'vestryinhissurplice，helpingth\'Rectoronwithhisgown-\'

\'Yes，Nancy。\'

\'AndIheardhimaskMaisterHatfieldwhoIwas，an\'hesays，"Oh，she\'sacantingoldfool。"

\'AndIwasveryillgrieved，MissGrey；butIwenttomyseat，andItriedtodomydutyasaforetime:butIlikegotnopeace。

An\'

Ieventookthesacrament；butIfeltasthoughIwereeatinganddrinkingtomyowndamnationallth\'time。SoIwenthome，sorelytroubled。

\'Butnextday，aforeI\'dgottenfettledup-forindeed，Miss，I\'dnohearttosweepingan\'fettling，an\'washingpots；soIsatmedowni\'th\'muck-whoshouldcomeinbutMaisterWeston!I

startedsidingstuffthen，an\'sweepingan\'doing；andIexpectedhe\'dbegina-callingmeformyidleways，asMaisterHatfieldwoulda\'done；butIwasmista\'en:heonlybidmegood-mornin\'like，inaquietdacentway。SoIdustedhimachair，an\'fettledupth\'

fireplaceabit；butIhadn\'tforgottenth\'Rector\'swords，sosaysI，"Iwonder，sir，youshouldgiveyourselfthattrouble，tocomesofartoseea\'cantingoldfool，\'suchasme。"

\'Heseemedtakenabackatthat；buthewouldfainpersuademe\'attheRectorwasonlyinjest；andwhenthatwouldn\'tdo，hesays，"Well，Nancy，youshouldn\'tthinksomuchaboutit:Mr。Hatfieldwasalittleoutofhumourjustthen:youknowwe\'renoneofusperfect-evenMosesspokeunadvisedlywithhislips。Butnowsitdownaminute，ifyoucansparethetime，andtellmeallyourdoubtsandfears；andI\'lltrytoremovethem。"

\'SoIsatmedownanenthim。Hewasquiteastranger，youknow，MissGrey，andevenYOUNGERnorMaisterHatfield，Ibelieve；andI

hadthoughthimnotsopleasant-lookingashim，andratherabitcrossish，atfirst，tolookat；buthespakesocivillike-andwhenth\'cat，poorthing，jumpedontohisknee，heonlystrokedher，andgaveabitofasmile:soIthoughtthatwasagoodsign；

foronce，whenshedidsototh\'Rector，heknockedheroff，likeasitmightbeinscornandanger，poorthing。Butyoucan\'texpectacattoknowmannerslikeaChristian，youknow，MissGrey。\'

\'No；ofcoursenot，Nancy。ButwhatdidMr。Westonsaythen？\'

\'Hesaidnought；buthelistenedtomeassteadyan\'patientascouldbe，an\'neverabito\'scornabouthim；soIwenton，an\'

telledhimall，justasI\'vetelledyou-an\'moretoo。

\'"Well，"sayshe，"Mr。Hatfieldwasquiterightintellingyoutopersevereindoingyourduty；butinadvisingyoutogotochurchandattendtotheservice，andsoon，hedidn\'tmeanthatwasthewholeofaChristian\'sduty:heonlythoughtyoumighttherelearnwhatmorewastobedone，andbeledtotakedelightinthoseexercises，insteadoffindingthemataskandaburden。Andifyouhadaskedhimtoexplainthosewordsthattroubleyousomuch，I

thinkhewouldhavetoldyou，thatifmanyshallseektoenterinatthestraitgateandshallnotbeable，itistheirownsinsthathinderthem；justasamanwithalargesackonhisbackmightwishtopassthroughanarrowdoorway，andfinditimpossibletodosounlesshewouldleavehissackbehindhim。Butyou，Nancy，Idaresay，havenosinsthatyouwouldnotgladlythrowaside，ifyouknewhow？"

\'"Indeed，sir，youspeaktruth，"saidI。

\'"Well，"sayshe，"youknowthefirstandgreatcommandment-andthesecond，whichislikeuntoit-onwhichtwocommandmentshangallthelawandtheprophets？YousayyoucannotloveGod；butitstrikesmethatifyourightlyconsiderwhoandwhatHeis，youcannothelpit。Heisyourfather，yourbestfriend:everyblessing，everythinggood，pleasant，oruseful，comesfromHim；andeverythingevil，everythingyouhavereasontohate，toshun，ortofear，comesfromSatan-HISenemyaswellasours。AndforTHIS

causewasGodmanifestintheflesh，thatHemightdestroytheworksoftheDevil:inoneword，GodisLOVE；andthemoreoflovewehavewithinus，thenearerwearetoHimandthemoreofHisspiritwepossess。"

\'"Well，sir，"Isaid，"ifIcanalwaysthinkonthesethings，I

thinkImightwellloveGod:buthowcanIlovemyneighbours，whentheyvexme，andbesocontraryandsinfulassomeon\'emis？"

\'"Itmayseemahardmatter，"sayshe，"toloveourneighbours，whohavesomuchofwhatisevilaboutthem，andwhosefaultssooftenawakentheevilthatlingerswithinourselves；butrememberthatHE

madethem，andHElovesthem；andwhosoeverlovethhimthatbegat，lovethhimthatisbegottenalso。AndifGodsolovethus，thatHegaveHisonlybegottenSontodieforus，weoughtalsotoloveoneanother。Butifyoucannotfeelpositiveaffectionforthosewhodonotcareforyou，youcanatleasttrytodotothemasyouwouldtheyshoulddountoyou:youcanendeavourtopitytheirfailingsandexcusetheiroffences，andtodoallthegoodyoucantothoseaboutyou。Andifyouaccustomyourselftothis，Nancy，theveryeffortitselfwillmakeyoulovetheminsomedegree-tosaynothingofthegoodwillyourkindnesswouldbegetinthem，thoughtheymighthavelittleelsethatisgoodaboutthem。IfweloveGodandwishtoserveHim，letustrytobelikeHim，todoHiswork，tolabourforHisglory-whichisthegoodofman-tohastenthecomingofHiskingdom，whichisthepeaceandhappinessofalltheworld:howeverpowerlesswemayseemtobe，indoingallthegoodwecanthroughlife，thehumblestofusmaydomuchtowardsit:andletusdwellinlove，thatHemaydwellinusandweinHim。Themorehappinesswebestow，themoreweshallreceive，evenhere；andthegreaterwillbeourrewardinheavenwhenwerestfromourlabours。"Ibelieve，Miss，themishisverywords，forI\'vethought\'emowermanyatime。An\'thenhetookthatBible，an\'readbitshereandthere，an\'explained\'emasclearastheday:anditseemedlikeasanewlightbrokeinonmysoul；an\'Ifeltfairaglowaboutmyheart，an\'onlywishedpoorBillan\'alltheworldcouldha\'beenthere，an\'hearditall，andrejoicedwi\'me。

\'Afterhewasgone，HannahRogers，oneo\'th\'neighbours，cameinandwantedmetohelphertowash。ItelledherIcouldn\'tjustthen，forIhadn\'tsetonth\'potatiesforth\'dinner，norwashedupth\'breakfaststuffyet。Sothenshebegana-callingmeformynastyidleways。Iwasalittlebitvexedatfirst，butIneversaidnothingwrongtoher:Ionlytelledherlikeallinaquietway，\'atI\'dhadth\'newparsontoseeme；butI\'dgetdoneasquickaseverIcould，an\'thencomean\'helpher。Sothenshesofteneddown；andmyheartlikeasitwarmedtowardsher，an\'inabitwewasverygoodfriends。An\'soitis，MissGrey，"asoftanswerturnethawaywrath；butgrievouswordsstirupanger。"

Itisn\'tonlyinthemyouspeakto，butinyourself。\'

\'Verytrue，Nancy，ifwecouldalwaysrememberit。\'

\'Ay，ifwecould!\'

\'AnddidMr。Westonevercometoseeyouagain？\'

\'Yes，manyatime；andsincemyeyeshasbeensobad，he\'ssatan\'

readtomebythehalf-hourtogether:butyouknow，Miss，hehasotherfolkstosee，andotherthingstodo-Godblesshim!An\'

thatnextSundayhepreachedSUCHasermon!Histextwas，"Comeuntomeallyethatlabourandareheavyladen，andIwillgiveyourest，"andthemtwoblessedversesthatfollows。Youwasn\'tthere，Miss，youwaswithyourfriendsthen-butitmademeSOhappy!

AndIAMhappynow，thankGod!an\'Itakeapleasure，now，indoinglittlebitso\'jobsformyneighbours-suchasapooroldbody\'at\'shalfblindcando；andtheytakeitkindlyofme，justashesaid。Yousee，Miss，I\'mknittingapairo\'stockingsnow；-

they\'reforThomasJackson:he\'saqueerisholdbody，an\'we\'vehadmanyaboutatthreaping，oneanentt\'other；an\'attimeswe\'vedifferedsorely。SoIthoughtIcouldn\'tdobetternorknithimapairo\'warmstockings；an\'I\'vefelttolikehimadealbetter，pooroldman，sin\'Ibegan。It\'sturnedoutjustasMaisterWestonsaid。\'

\'Well，I\'mverygladtoseeyousohappy，Nancy，andsowise:

butImustgonow；IshallbewantedattheHall，\'saidI；andbiddinghergood-bye，Ideparted，promisingtocomeagainwhenIhadtime，andfeelingnearlyashappyasherself。

AtanothertimeIwenttoreadtoapoorlabourerwhowasinthelaststageofconsumption。Theyoungladieshadbeentoseehim，andsomehowapromiseofreadinghadbeenextractedfromthem；butitwastoomuchtrouble，sotheybeggedmetodoitinstead。I

went，willinglyenough；andtheretooIwasgratifiedwiththepraisesofMr。Weston，bothfromthesickmanandhiswife。Theformertoldmethathederivedgreatcomfortandbenefitfromthevisitsofthenewparson，whofrequentlycametoseehim，andwas\'anotherguesssortofman\'toMr。Hatfield；who，beforetheother\'sarrivalatHorton，hadnowandthenpaidhimavisit；onwhichoccasionshewouldalwaysinsistuponhavingthecottage-doorkeptopen，toadmitthefreshairforhisownconvenience，withoutconsideringhowitmightinjurethesufferer；andhavingopenedhisprayer-bookandhastilyreadoverapartoftheServicefortheSick，wouldhurryawayagain:ifhedidnotstaytoadministersomeharshrebuketotheafflictedwife，ortomakesomethoughtless，nottosayheartless，observation，rathercalculatedtoincreasethandiminishthetroublesofthesufferingpair。

\'Whereas，\'saidtheman，\'MaisterWeston\'ullpraywithmequiteinadifferentfashion，an\'talktomeaskindasowt；an\'oftreadtometoo，an\'sitbesidemejustlikeabrother。\'

\'Justforalltheworld!\'exclaimedhiswife；\'an\'aboutathreewiksin\'，whenheseedhowpoorJemshiveredwi\'cold，an\'whatpitifulfireswekept，heaxedifwerstockofcoalswasnearlydone。Itelledhimitwas，an\'wewasillsettogetmore:

butyouknow，mum，Ididn\'tthinko\'himhelpingus；but，howsever，hesentusasacko\'coalsnextday；an\'we\'vehadgoodfireseversin\':andagreatblessingitis，thiswintertime。Butthat\'shisway，MissGrey:whenhecomesintoapoorbody\'shousea-

seein\'sickfolk，helikenoticeswhattheymoststandi\'needon；

an\'ifhethinkstheycan\'treadilygetittherseln，heneversaysnowtaboutit，butjustgetsitfor\'em。An\'itisn\'teverybody\'at\'uddothat，\'athasaslittleashehas:foryouknow，mum，he\'snowtatalltoliveonbutwhathegetsfra\'th\'Rector，an\'

that\'slittleenoughtheysay。\'

Irememberedthen，withaspeciesofexultation，thathehadfrequentlybeenstyledavulgarbrutebytheamiableMissMurray，becauseheworeasilverwatch，andclothesnotquitesobrightandfreshasMr。Hatfield\'s。

InreturningtotheLodgeIfeltveryhappy，andthankedGodthatI

hadnowsomethingtothinkabout；somethingtodwellonasarelieffromthewearymonotony，thelonelydrudgery，ofmypresentlife:

forIWASlonely。Never，frommonthtomonth，fromyeartoyear，exceptduringmybriefintervalsofrestathome，didIseeonecreaturetowhomIcouldopenmyheart，orfreelyspeakmythoughtswithanyhopeofsympathy，orevencomprehension:neverone，unlessitwerepoorNancyBrown，withwhomIcouldenjoyasinglemomentofrealsocialintercourse，orwhoseconversationwascalculatedtorendermebetter，wiser，orhappierthanbefore；orwho，asfarasIcouldsee，couldbegreatlybenefitedbymine。

Myonlycompanionshadbeenunamiablechildren，andignorant，wrong-

headedgirls；fromwhosefatiguingfolly，unbrokensolitudewasoftenareliefmostearnestlydesiredanddearlyprized。Buttoberestrictedtosuchassociateswasaseriousevil，bothinitsimmediateeffectsandtheconsequencesthatwerelikelytoensue。

Neveranewideaorstirringthoughtcametomefromwithout；andsuchasrosewithinmewere，forthemostpart，miserablycrushedatonce，ordoomedtosickenorfadeaway，becausetheycouldnotseethelight。

Habitualassociatesareknowntoexerciseagreatinfluenceovereachother\'smindsandmanners。Thosewhoseactionsareforeverbeforeoureyes，whosewordsareeverinourears，willnaturallyleadus，albeitagainstourwill，slowly，gradually，imperceptibly，perhaps，toactandspeakastheydo。Iwillnotpresumetosayhowfarthisirresistiblepowerofassimilationextends；butifonecivilisedmanweredoomedtopassadozenyearsamidaraceofintractablesavages，unlesshehadpowertoimprovethem，Igreatlyquestionwhether，atthecloseofthatperiod，hewouldnothavebecome，atleast，abarbarianhimself。AndI，asIcouldnotmakemyyoungcompanionsbetter，fearedexceedinglythattheywouldmakemeworse-wouldgraduallybringmyfeelings，habits，capacities，totheleveloftheirown；without，however，impartingtometheirlightheartednessandcheerfulvivacity。

Already，Iseemedtofeelmyintellectdeteriorating，myheartpetrifying，mysoulcontracting；andItrembledlestmyverymoralperceptionsshouldbecomedeadened，mydistinctionsofrightandwrongconfounded，andallmybetterfacultiesbesunk，atlast，beneaththebanefulinfluenceofsuchamodeoflife。Thegrossvapoursofearthweregatheringaroundme，andclosinginuponmyinwardheaven；andthusitwasthatMr。Westonroseatlengthuponme，appearinglikethemorningstarinmyhorizon，tosavemefromthefearofutterdarkness；andIrejoicedthatIhadnowasubjectforcontemplationthatwasaboveme，notbeneath。IwasgladtoseethatalltheworldwasnotmadeupofBloomfields，Murrays，Hatfields，Ashbys，&；c。；andthathumanexcellencewasnotameredreamoftheimagination。Whenwehearalittlegoodandnoharmofaperson，itiseasyandpleasanttoimaginemore:inshort，itisneedlesstoanalyseallmythoughts；butSundaywasnowbecomeadayofpeculiardelighttome(Iwasnowalmostbroken-intothebackcornerinthecarriage)，forIlikedtohearhim-andIlikedtoseehim，too；thoughIknewhewasnothandsome，orevenwhatiscalledagreeable，inoutwardaspect；but，certainly，hewasnotugly。

Instaturehewasalittle，averylittle，abovethemiddlesize；

theoutlineofhisfacewouldbepronouncedtoosquareforbeauty，buttomeitannounceddecisionofcharacter；hisdarkbrownhairwasnotcarefullycurled，likeMr。Hatfield\'s，butsimplybrushedasideoverabroadwhiteforehead；theeyebrows，Isuppose，weretooprojecting，butfromunderthosedarkbrowstheregleamedaneyeofsingularpower，brownincolour，notlarge，andsomewhatdeep-set，butstrikinglybrilliant，andfullofexpression；therewascharacter，too，inthemouth，somethingthatbespokeamanoffirmpurposeandanhabitualthinker；andwhenhesmiled-butI

willnotspeakofthatyet，for，atthetimeImention，Ihadneverseenhimsmile:and，indeed，hisgeneralappearancedidnotimpressmewiththeideaofamangiventosucharelaxation，norofsuchanindividualasthecottagersdescribedhim。Ihadearlyformedmyopinionofhim；and，inspiteofMissMurray\'sobjurgations:wasfullyconvincedthathewasamanofstrongsense，firmfaith，andardentpiety，butthoughtfulandstern:

andwhenIfoundthat，tohisothergoodqualities，wasaddedthatoftruebenevolenceandgentle，consideratekindness，thediscovery，perhaps，delightedmethemore，asIhadnotbeenpreparedtoexpectit。

chapter12

CHAPTERXII-THESHOWER

THEnextvisitIpaidtoNancyBrownwasinthesecondweekinMarch:for，thoughIhadmanyspareminutesduringtheday，I

seldomcouldlookuponanhourasentirelymyown；since，whereeverythingwaslefttothecapricesofMissMatildaandhersister，therecouldbenoorderorregularity。WhateveroccupationI

chose，whennotactuallybusiedaboutthemortheirconcerns，I

had，asitwere，tokeepmyloinsgirded，myshoesonmyfeet，andmystaffinmyhand；fornottobeimmediatelyforthcomingwhencalledfor，wasregardedasagraveandinexcusableoffence:notonlybymypupilsandtheirmother，butbytheveryservant，whocameinbreathlesshastetocallme，exclaiming，\'You\'retogototheschoolroomDIRECTLY，mum，theyoungladiesisWAITING!!\'

Climaxofhorror!actuallywaitingfortheirgoverness!!!

ButthistimeIwasprettysureofanhourortwotomyself；forMatildawaspreparingforalongride，andRosaliewasdressingforadinner-partyatLadyAshby\'s:soItooktheopportunityofrepairingtothewidow\'scottage，whereIfoundherinsomeanxietyabouthercat，whichhadbeenabsentallday。Icomfortedherwithasmanyanecdotesofthatanimal\'srovingpropensitiesasIcouldrecollect。\'I\'mfearedo\'th\'gamekeepers，\'saidshe:\'that\'sall\'atIthinkon。Ifth\'younggentlemenhadbeenathome，Ishoulda\'thoughtthey\'dbeensettingtheirdogsather，an\'worriedher，poorthing，astheydidMANYapoorthing\'scat；butIhaven\'tthattobefearedonnow。\'Nancy\'seyeswerebetter，butstillfarfromwell:shehadbeentryingtomakeaSundayshirtforherson，buttoldmeshecouldonlybeartodoalittlebitatitnowandthen，sothatitprogressedbutslowly，thoughthepoorladwanteditsadly。SoIproposedtohelpheralittle，afterIhadreadtoher，forIhadplentyoftimethatevening，andneednotreturntilldusk。Shethankfullyacceptedtheoffer。\'An\'you\'llbeabito\'companyformetoo，Miss，\'saidshe；\'IlikeasIfeellonesomewithoutmycat。\'ButwhenIhadfinishedreading，anddonethehalfofaseam，withNancy\'scapaciousbrassthimblefittedontomyfingerbymeansofarollofpaper，IwasdisturbedbytheentranceofMr。Weston，withtheidenticalcatinhisarms。

Inowsawthathecouldsmile，andverypleasantlytoo。

\'I\'vedoneyouapieceofgoodservice，Nancy，\'hebegan:thenseeingme，heacknowledgedmypresencebyaslightbow。IshouldhavebeeninvisibletoHatfield，oranyothergentlemanofthoseparts。\'I\'vedeliveredyourcat，\'hecontinued，\'fromthehands，orratherthegun，ofMr。Murray\'sgamekeeper。\'

\'Godblessyou，sir!\'criedthegratefuloldwoman，readytoweepforjoyasshereceivedherfavouritefromhisarms。

\'Takecareofit，\'saidhe，\'anddon\'tletitgoneartherabbit-

warren，forthegamekeeperswearshe\'llshootitifheseesitthereagain:hewouldhavedonesoto-day，ifIhadnotbeenintimetostophim。Ibelieveitisraining，MissGrey，\'addedhe，morequietly，observingthatIhadputasidemywork，andwaspreparingtodepart。\'Don\'tletmedisturbyou-Ishan\'tstaytwominutes。\'

\'You\'llBOTHstaywhilethisshowergetsowered，\'saidNancy，asshestirredthefire，andplacedanotherchairbesideit；\'what!

there\'sroomforall。\'

\'Icanseebetterhere，thankyou，Nancy，\'repliedI，takingmyworktothewindow，whereshehadthegoodnesstosuffermetoremainunmolested，whileshegotabrushtoremovethecat\'shairsfromMr。Weston\'scoat，carefullywipedtherainfromhishat，andgavethecatitssupper，busilytalkingallthetime:nowthankingherclericalfriendforwhathehaddone；nowwonderinghowthecathadfoundoutthewarren；andnowlamentingtheprobableconsequencesofsuchadiscovery。Helistenedwithaquiet，good-

naturedsmile，andatlengthtookaseatincompliancewithherpressinginvitations，butrepeatedthathedidnotmeantostay。

\'Ihaveanotherplacetogoto，\'saidhe，\'andIsee\'(glancingatthebookonthetable)\'someoneelsehasbeenreadingtoyou。\'

\'Yes，sir；MissGreyhasbeenaskindasreadmeachapter；an\'nowshe\'shelpingmewithashirtforourBill-butI\'mfearedshe\'llbecoldthere。Won\'tyoucometoth\'fire，Miss？\'

\'No，thankyou，Nancy，I\'mquitewarm。Imustgoassoonasthisshowerisover。\'

\'Oh，Miss!Yousaidyoucouldstopwhiledusk!\'criedtheprovokingoldwoman，andMr。Westonseizedhishat。

\'Nay，sir，\'exclaimedshe，\'praydon\'tgonow，whileitrainssofast。\'

\'ButitstrikesmeI\'mkeepingyourvisitorawayfromthefire。\'

\'No，you\'renot，Mr。Weston，\'repliedI，hopingtherewasnoharminafalsehoodofthatdescription。

\'No，sure!\'criedNancy。\'What，there\'slotso\'room!\'

\'MissGrey，\'saidhe，half-jestingly，asifhefeltitnecessarytochangethepresentsubject，whetherhehadanythingparticulartosayornot，\'Iwishyouwouldmakemypeacewiththesquire，whenyouseehim。HewasbywhenIrescuedNancy\'scat，anddidnotquiteapproveofthedeed。ItoldhimIthoughthemightbetterspareallhisrabbitsthanshehercat，forwhichaudaciousassertionhetreatedmetosomeratherungentlemanlylanguage；andIfearIretortedatrifletoowarmly。\'

\'Oh，lawfulsir!Ihopeyoudidn\'tfalloutwi\'th\'maisterforsakeo\'mycat!hecannotbideansweringagain-canth\'maister。\'

\'Oh!it\'snomatter，Nancy:Idon\'tcareaboutit，really；IsaidnothingVERYuncivil；andIsupposeMr。Murrayisaccustomedtouseratherstronglanguagewhenhe\'sheated。\'

\'Ay，sir:it\'sapity。\'

\'Andnow，Ireallymustgo。Ihavetovisitaplaceamilebeyondthis；andyouwouldnothavemetoreturninthedark:besides，ithasnearlydonerainingnow-sogood-evening，Nancy。Good-

evening，MissGrey。\'

\'Good-evening，Mr。Weston；butdon\'tdependuponmeformakingyourpeacewithMr。Murray，forIneverseehim-tospeakto。\'

\'Don\'tyou；itcan\'tbehelpedthen，\'repliedhe，indolorousresignation:then，withapeculiarhalf-smile，headded，\'Butnevermind；IimaginethesquirehasmoretoapologiseforthanI；\'

andleftthecottage。

IwentonwithmysewingaslongasIcouldsee，andthenbadeNancygood-evening；checkinghertoolivelygratitudebytheundeniableassurancethatIhadonlydoneforherwhatshewouldhavedoneforme，ifshehadbeeninmyplaceandIinhers。I

hastenedbacktoHortonLodge，where，havingenteredtheschoolroom，Ifoundthetea-tableallinconfusion，thetrayfloodedwithslops，andMissMatildainamostferocioushumour。

\'MissGrey，whateverhaveyoubeenabout？I\'vehadteahalfanhourago，andhadtomakeitmyself，anddrinkitallalone!I

wishyouwouldcomeinsooner!\'

\'I\'vebeentoseeNancyBrown。Ithoughtyouwouldnotbebackfromyourride。\'

\'HowcouldIrideintherain，Ishouldliketoknow。Thatdamnedpeltingshowerwasvexatiousenough-comingonwhenIwasjustinfullswing:andthentocomeandfindnobodyintotea!andyouknowIcan\'tmaketheteaasIlikeit。\'

\'Ididn\'tthinkoftheshower，\'repliedI(and，indeed，thethoughtofitsdrivingherhomehadneverenteredmyhead)。

\'No，ofcourse；youwereundershelteryourself，andyouneverthoughtofotherpeople。\'

Iborehercoarsereproacheswithastonishingequanimity，evenwithcheerfulness；forIwassensiblethatIhaddonemoregoodtoNancyBrownthanharmtoher:andperhapssomeotherthoughtsassistedtokeepupmyspirits，andimpartarelishtothecupofcold，overdrawntea，andacharmtotheotherwiseunsightlytable；and-

Ihadalmostsaid-toMissMatilda\'sunamiableface。Butshesoonbetookherselftothestables，andleftmetothequietenjoymentofmysolitarymeal。

chapter13

CHAPTERXIII-THEPRIMROSES

MISSMURRAYnowalwayswenttwicetochurch，forshesolovedadmirationthatshecouldnotbeartoloseasingleopportunityofobtainingit；andshewassosureofitwhereversheshowedherself，that，whetherHarryMelthamandMr。Greenwerethereornot，therewascertaintobesomebodypresentwhowouldnotbeinsensibletohercharms，besidestheRector，whoseofficialcapacitygenerallyobligedhimtoattend。Usually，also，iftheweatherpermitted，bothsheandhersisterwouldwalkhome；

Matilda，becauseshehatedtheconfinementofthecarriage；she，becauseshedislikedtheprivacyofit，andenjoyedthecompanythatgenerallyenlivenedthefirstmileofthejourneyinwalkingfromthechurchtoMr。Green\'spark-gates:nearwhichcommencedtheprivateroadtoHortonLodge，whichlayintheoppositedirection，whilethehighwayconductedinastraightforwardcoursetothestillmoredistantmansionofSirHughMeltham。Thustherewasalwaysachanceofbeingaccompanied，sofar，eitherbyHarryMeltham，withorwithoutMissMeltham，orMr。Green，withperhapsoneorbothofhissisters，andanygentlemenvisitorstheymighthave。

WhetherIwalkedwiththeyoungladiesorrodewiththeirparents，dependedupontheirowncapriciouswill:iftheychoseto\'take\'

me，Iwent；if，forreasonsbestknowntothemselves，theychosetogoalone，Itookmyseatinthecarriage。Ilikedwalkingbetter，butasenseofreluctancetoobtrudemypresenceonanyonewhodidnotdesireit，alwayskeptmepassiveontheseandsimilaroccasions；andIneverinquiredintothecausesoftheirvaryingwhims。Indeed，thiswasthebestpolicy-fortosubmitandobligewasthegoverness\'spart，toconsulttheirownpleasurewasthatofthepupils。ButwhenIdidwalk，thefirsthalfofjourneywasgenerallyagreatnuisancetome。Asnoneofthebefore-mentionedladiesandgentlemenevernoticedme，itwasdisagreeabletowalkbesidethem，asiflisteningtowhattheysaid，orwishingtobethoughtoneofthem，whiletheytalkedoverme，oracross；andiftheireyes，inspeaking，chancedtofallonme，itseemedasiftheylookedonvacancy-asiftheyeitherdidnotseeme，orwereverydesiroustomakeitappearso。Itwasdisagreeable，too，towalkbehind，andthusappeartoacknowledgemyowninferiority；

for，intruth，Iconsideredmyselfprettynearlyasgoodasthebestofthem，andwishedthemtoknowthatIdidso，andnottoimaginethatIlookeduponmyselfasameredomestic，whoknewherownplacetoowelltowalkbesidesuchfineladiesandgentlemenastheywere-thoughheryoungladiesmightchoosetohaveherwiththem，andevencondescendtoconversewithherwhennobettercompanywereathand。Thus-Iamalmostashamedtoconfessit-

butindeedIgavemyselfnolittletroubleinmyendeavours(ifI

didkeepupwiththem)toappearperfectlyunconsciousorregardlessoftheirpresence，asifIwerewhollyabsorbedinmyownreflections，orthecontemplationofsurroundingobjects；or，ifIlingeredbehind，itwassomebirdorinsect，sometreeorflower，thatattractedmyattention，andhavingdulyexaminedthat，Iwouldpursuemywalkalone，ataleisurelypace，untilmypupilshadbiddenadieutotheircompanionsandturnedoffintothequietprivateroad。

OnesuchoccasionIparticularlywellremember；itwasalovelyafternoonaboutthecloseofMarch；Mr。Greenandhissistershadsenttheircarriagebackempty，inordertoenjoythebrightsunshineandbalmyairinasociablewalkhomealongwiththeirvisitors，CaptainSomebodyandLieutenantSomebody-else(acoupleofmilitaryfops)，andtheMissesMurray，who，ofcourse，contrivedtojointhem。SuchapartywashighlyagreeabletoRosalie；butnotfindingitequallysuitabletomytaste，Ipresentlyfellback，andbegantobotaniseandentomologisealongthegreenbanksandbuddinghedges，tillthecompanywasconsiderablyinadvanceofme，andIcouldhearthesweetsongofthehappylark；thenmyspiritofmisanthropybegantomeltawaybeneaththesoft，pureairandgenialsunshine；butsadthoughtsofearlychildhood，andyearningsfordepartedjoys，orforabrighterfuturelot，aroseinstead。

Asmyeyeswanderedoverthesteepbankscoveredwithyounggrassandgreen-leavedplants，andsurmountedbybuddinghedges，Ilongedintenselyforsomefamiliarflowerthatmightrecallthewoodydalesorgreenhill-sidesofhome:thebrownmoorlands，ofcourse，wereoutofthequestion。Suchadiscoverywouldmakemyeyesgushoutwithwater，nodoubt；butthatwasoneofmygreatestenjoymentsnow。AtlengthIdescried，highupbetweenthetwistedrootsofanoak，threelovelyprimroses，peepingsosweetlyfromtheirhiding-placethatthetearsalreadystartedatthesight；buttheygrewsohighaboveme，thatItriedinvaintogatheroneortwo，todreamoverandtocarrywithme:IcouldnotreachthemunlessIclimbedthebank，whichIwasdeterredfromdoingbyhearingafootstepatthatmomentbehindme，andwas，therefore，abouttoturnaway，whenIwasstartledbythewords，\'Allowmetogatherthemforyou，MissGrey，\'spokeninthegrave，lowtonesofawell-knownvoice。Immediatelytheflowersweregathered，andinmyhand。ItwasMr。Weston，ofcourse-whoelsewouldtroublehimselftodosomuchforME？

\'Ithankedhim；whetherwarmlyorcoldly，Icannottell:butcertainIamthatIdidnotexpresshalfthegratitudeIfelt。

Itwasfoolish，perhaps，tofeelanygratitudeatall；butitseemedtome，atthatmoment，asifthiswerearemarkableinstanceofhisgood-nature:anactofkindness，whichIcouldnotrepay，butnevershouldforget:soutterlyunaccustomedwasItoreceivesuchcivilities，solittlepreparedtoexpectthemfromanyonewithinfiftymilesofHortonLodge。Yetthisdidnotpreventmefromfeelingalittleuncomfortableinhispresence；andIproceededtofollowmypupilsatamuchquickerpacethanbefore；though，perhaps，ifMr。Westonhadtakenthehint，andletmepasswithoutanotherword，Imighthaverepeateditanhourafter:buthedidnot。Asomewhatrapidwalkformewasbutanordinarypaceforhim。

\'Youryoungladieshaveleftyoualone，\'saidhe。

\'Yes，theyareoccupiedwithmoreagreeablecompany。\'

\'Thendon\'ttroubleyourselftoovertakethem。\'Islackenedmypace；butnextmomentregrettedhavingdoneso:mycompaniondidnotspeak；andIhadnothingintheworldtosay，andfearedhemightbeinthesamepredicament。Atlength，however，hebrokethepausebyasking，withacertainquietabruptnesspeculiartohimself，ifIlikedflowers。

\'Yes；verymuch，\'Ianswered，\'wild-flowersespecially。\'

\'Ilikewild-flowers，\'saidhe；\'othersIdon\'tcareabout，becauseIhavenoparticularassociationsconnectedwiththem-exceptoneortwo。Whatareyourfavouriteflowers？\'

\'Primroses，blue-bells，andheath-blossoms。\'

\'Notviolets？\'

\'No；because，asyousay，Ihavenoparticularassociationsconnectedwiththem；fortherearenosweetvioletsamongthehillsandvalleysroundmyhome。\'

\'Itmustbeagreatconsolationtoyoutohaveahome，MissGrey，\'

observedmycompanionafterashortpause:\'howeverremote，orhoweverseldomvisited，stillitissomethingtolookto。\'

\'ItissomuchthatIthinkIcouldnotlivewithoutit，\'repliedI，withanenthusiasmofwhichIimmediatelyrepented；forI

thoughtitmusthavesoundedessentiallysilly。

\'Oh，yes，youcould，\'saidhe，withathoughtfulsmile。\'Thetiesthatbindustolifearetougherthanyouimagine，orthananyonecanwhohasnotfelthowroughlytheymaybepulledwithoutbreaking。Youmightbemiserablewithoutahome，butevenYOU

couldlive；andnotsomiserablyasyousuppose。Thehumanheartislikeindia-rubber；alittleswellsit，butagreatdealwillnotburstit。If"littlemorethannothingwilldisturbit，littlelessthanallthingswillsuffice"tobreakit。Asintheoutermembersofourframe，thereisavitalpowerinherentinitselfthatstrengthensitagainstexternalviolence。Everyblowthatshakesitwillservetohardenitagainstafuturestroke；asconstantlabourthickenstheskinofthehand，andstrengthensitsmusclesinsteadofwastingthemaway:sothatadayofarduoustoil，thatmightexcoriatealady\'spalm，wouldmakenosensibleimpressiononthatofahardyploughman。

\'Ispeakfromexperience-partlymyown。TherewasatimewhenI

thoughtasyoudo-atleast，Iwasfullypersuadedthathomeanditsaffectionsweretheonlythingsthatmadelifetolerable:

that，ifdeprivedofthese，existencewouldbecomeaburdenhardtobeendured；butnowIhavenohome-unlessyouwoulddignifymytwohiredroomsatHortonbysuchaname；-andnottwelvemonthsagoIlostthelastanddearestofmyearlyfriends；andyet，notonlyIlive，butIamnotwhollydestituteofhopeandcomfort，evenforthislife:thoughImustacknowledgethatIcanseldomenterevenanhumblecottageatthecloseofday，andseeitsinhabitantspeaceablygatheredaroundtheircheerfulhearth，withoutafeelingALMOSTofenvyattheirdomesticenjoyment。\'

\'Youdon\'tknowwhathappinessliesbeforeyouyet，\'saidI:\'youarenowonlyinthecommencementofyourjourney。\'

\'Thebestofhappiness，\'repliedhe，\'isminealready-thepowerandthewilltobeuseful。\'