下载辰思小说免费APP
XXXVIII
Annadrovetothechemist’sforOwen’sremedy。Onthewayshestoppedhercabatabook—shop，andemergedfromitladenwithliterature。SheknewwhatwouldinterestOwen，andwhathewaslikelytohaveread，andshehadmadeherchoiceamongthenewestpublicationswiththepromptnessofadiscriminatingreader。Butonthewaybacktothehotelshewasovercomebytheironyofaddingthismentalpanaceatotheother。Therewassomethinggrotesqueandalmostmockingintheideaofofferingajudiciousselectionofliteraturetoamansettingoutonsuchajourney。"Heknows……heknows……"shekeptonrepeating；andgivingtheportertheparcelfromthechemist’sshedroveawaywithoutleavingthebooks。
Shewenttoherapartment，whitherhermaidhadprecededher。Therewasafireinthedrawing—roomandthetea—tablestoodreadybythehearth。Thestormyrainbeatagainsttheuncurtainedwindows，andshethoughtofOwen，whowouldsoonbedrivingthroughittothestation，alonewithhisbitterthoughts。Shehadbeenproudofthefactthathehadalwayssoughtherhelpindifficulthours；andnow，inthemostdifficultofall，shewastheonebeingtowhomhecouldnotturn。Betweenthem，henceforth，therewouldalwaysbethewallofaninsurmountablesilence……Shestrainedherachingthoughtstoguesshowthetruthhadcometohim。Hadheseenthegirl，andhadshetoldhim？Instinctively，Annarejectedthisconjecture。Butwhatneedwasthereofassuminganexplicitstatement，wheneverybreaththeyhaddrawnforthelastweekshadbeenchargedwiththeimmanentsecret？AsshelookedbackoverthedayssinceDarrow’sfirstarrivalatGivresheperceivedthatatnotimehadanyonedeliberatelyspoken，oranythingbeenaccidentallydisclosed。Thetruthhadcometolightbytheforceofitsirresistiblepressure；
andtheperceptiongaveherastartledsenseofhiddenpowers，ofachaosofattractionsandrepulsionsfarbeneaththeorderedsurfacesofintercourse。Shelookedbackwithmelancholyderisiononheroldconceptionoflife，asakindofwell—litandwellpolicedsuburbtodarkplacesoneneedneverknowabout。Heretheywere，thesedarkplaces，inherownbosom，andhenceforthshewouldalwayshavetotraversethemtoreachthebeingsshelovedbest！
Shewasstillsittingbesidetheuntouchedtea—tablewhensheheardDarrow’svoiceinthehall。Shestartedup，sayingtoherself："ImusttellhimthatOwenknows……"butwhenthedooropenedandshesawhisface，stilllitbythesamesmileofboyishtriumph，shefeltanewtheuselessnessofspeaking……HadheeversupposedthatOwenwouldnotknow？
Probably，fromtheheightofhisgreaterexperience，hehadseenlongsincethatallthathappenedwasinevitable；andthethoughtofit，atanyrate，wasclearlynotweighingonhimnow。
Hewasalreadydressedfortheevening，andashecametowardherhesaid："TheAmbassador’sbookedforanofficialdinnerandI’mfreeafterall。Whereshallwedine？"
Annahadpicturedherselfsittingalonealltheeveningwithherwretchedthoughts，andthefactofhavingtoputthemoutofhermindforthenextfewhoursgaveheranimmediatesensationofrelief。AlreadyherpulsesweredancingtothetuneofDarrow’s，andastheysmiledateachothershethought："NothingcaneverchangethefactthatIbelongtohim。"
"Whereshallwedine？"herepeatedgaily，andshenamedawell—knownrestaurantforwhichshehadonceheardhimexpressapreference。Butasshedidsoshefanciedshesawashadowonhisface，andinstantlyshesaidtoherself："ItwasTHEREhewentwithher！"
"Oh，no，notthere，afterall！"sheinterruptedherself；andnowshewassurehiscolourdeepened。
"Whereshallitbe，then？"
Shenoticedthathedidnotaskthereasonofherchange，andthisconvincedherthatshehadguessedthetruth，andthatheknewshehadguessedit。"HewillalwaysknowwhatIamthinking，andhewillneverdaretoaskme，"shethought；andshesawbetweenthemthesameinsurmountablewallofsilenceasbetweenherselfandOwen，awallofglassthroughwhichtheycouldwatcheachother’sfaintestmotionsbutwhichnosoundcouldevertraverse……
TheydrovetoarestaurantontheBoulevard，andthere，intheirintimatecorneroftheserriedscene，thesenseofwhatwasunspokenbetweenthemgraduallyceasedtooppressher。Helookedsolight—heartedandhandsome，soingenuouslyproudofher，soopenlyhappyatbeingwithher，thatnootherfactcouldseemrealinhispresence。HehadlearnedthattheAmbassadorwastospendtwodaysinParis，andhehadreasontohopethatinconsequencehisowndepartureforLondonwouldbedeferred。HewasexhilaratedbytheprospectofbeingwithAnnaforafewhourslonger，andshedidnotaskherselfifhisexhilarationwereasignofinsensibility，forshewastooconsciousofhispowerofswayinghermoodsnottobesecretlyproudofaffectinghis。
Theylingeredforsometimeoverthefruitandcoffee，andwhentheyrosetogoDarrowsuggestedthat，ifshefeltdisposedfortheplay，theywerenottoolateforthesecondpartoftheprogrammeatoneofthesmallertheatres。
HismentionofthehourrecalledOwentoherthoughts。Shesawhistrainrushingsouthwardthroughthestorm，and，inacorneroftheswayingcompartment，hisface，whiteandindistinctasithadloomedonherintherainytwilight。
Itwashorribletobethusperpetuallypayingforherhappiness！
Darrowhadcalledforatheatricaljournal，andhepresentlylookedupfromittosay："IhearthesecondplayattheAtheneeisamusing。"
ItwasonAnna’slipstoacquiesce；butasshewasabouttospeakshewonderedifitwerenotattheAtheneethatOwenhadseenDarrowwithSophyViner。Shewasnotsurehehadevenmentionedthetheatre，butthemerepossibilitywasenoughtodarkenhersky。ItwashatefultohertothinkofaccompanyingDarrowtoplaceswherethegirlhadbeenwithhim。Shetriedtoreasonawaythisscruple，sheevenremindedherselfwithabitterironythatwhenevershewasinDarrow’sarmsshewaswherethegirlhadbeenbeforeher——butshecouldnotshakeoffhersuperstitiousdreadofbeingwithhiminanyofthescenesoftheParisianepisode。
Sherepliedthatshewastootiredfortheplay，andtheydrovebacktoherapartment。Atthefootofthestairsshehalf—turnedtowishhimgoodnight，butheappearednottonoticehergestureandfollowedheruptoherdoor。
"Thisiseversomuchbetterthanthetheatre，"hesaidastheyenteredthedrawing—room。
Shehadcrossedtheroomandwasbendingoverthehearthtolightthefire。Sheknewhewasapproachingher，andthatinamomenthewouldhavedrawnthecloakfromhershouldersandlaidhislipsonherneck，justbelowthegathered—uphair。Theseprivilegeswerehisand，howeverdeferentlyandtenderlyheclaimedthem，thejoyouseaseofhismannermarkedadifferenceandproclaimedaright。
"Afterthetheatretheycamehomelikethis，"shethought；
andatthesameinstantshefelthishandsonhershouldersandshrankback。
"Don’t——oh，don’t！"shecried，drawinghercloakabouther。
Shesawfromhisastonishedstarethatherfacemustbequiveringwithpain。
"Anna！Whatonearthisthematter？"
"Owenknows！"shebrokeout，withaconfuseddesiretojustifyherself。
Darrow’scountenancechanged。"Didhetellyouso？Whatdidhesay？"
"Nothing！Iknewitfromthethingshedidn’tsay。"
"Youhadatalkwithhimthisafternoon？"
"Yes：forafewminutes。Icouldseehedidn’twantmetostay。"
Shehaddroppedintoachair，andsattherehuddled，stillholdinghercloakabouthershoulders。
Darrowdidnotdisputeherassumption，andshenoticedthatheexpressednosurprise。Hesatdownatalittledistancefromher，turningaboutinhisfingersthecigar—casehehaddrawnoutas
