第6章

CHAPTERV

AndyettheBoyChiefwasnotentirelyhappy。Indeed，attimesheseriouslythoughtofacceptingtheinvitationextendedbytheGreatChiefatWashington，immediatelyafterthemassacreofthesoldiers，andoncemorerevisitingthehauntsofcivilization。Hissoulsickenedinfeverishinactivity；schoolmasterspalledonhistaste；hehadintroducedbaseball，blindhooky，marbles，andpeg-

topamonghisIndiansubjects，butonlywithindifferentsuccess。

Thesquawsinsistedinboringholesthroughthechinaalleysandwearingthemasnecklaces；hiswarriorsstuckspikesintheirbaseballbatsandmadewarclubsofthem。Hecouldnotbutfeel，too，thatthegentleMushymush，althoughdevotedtoherpale-facedbrother，wasdeficientinculinaryeducation。Hermincepieswereabominable；herjamfarinferiortothatmadebyhisAuntSallyofDoemville。OnlyanunexpectedincidentkepthimequallyfromtheextremeoflistlessSybariticindulgence，orofmorbidcynicism。

Indeed，attheageoftwelve，healreadyhadbecomedisgustedwithexistence。

Hehadreturnedtohiswigwamafteranexhaustingbuffalohuntinwhichhehadslaintwohundredandseventy-fivebuffaloswithhisownhand，notcountingtheindividualbuffaloonwhichhehadleapedsoastojointheherd，andwhichheafterwardledintothecampacaptiveandapresenttothelovelyMushymush。Hehadscalpedtwoexpressridersandacorrespondentofthe"NewYorkHerald"；haddespoiledtheOverlandMailStageofaquantityofvoucherswhichenabledhimtodrawdoublerationsfromthegovernment，andwasrecliningonabearskin，smokingandthinkingofthevanityofhumanendeavor，whenascoutentered，sayingthatapale-faceyouthhaddemandedaccesstohisperson。

"Isheacommissioner？Ifso，saythattheredmanisrapidlypassingtothehappyhunting-groundsofhisfathers，andnowdesiresonlypeace，blankets，andammunition；obtainthelatterandthenscalpthecommissioner。"

"Butitisonlyayouthwhoasksaninterview。"

"Doeshelooklikeaninsuranceagent？Ifso，saythatIhavealreadypoliciesinthreeHartfordcompanies。Meanwhilepreparethestake，andseethatthesquawsarereadywiththeirimplementsoftorture。"

Theyouthwasadmitted；hewasevidentlyonlyhalftheageoftheBoyChief。Asheenteredthewigwamandstoodrevealedtohishosttheybothstarted。Inanothermomenttheywerelockedineachother’sarms。

"Jenky，oldboy！"

"Bromley，oldfel！"

B。F。Jenkins，forsuchwasthenameoftheBoyChief，wasthefirsttorecoverhiscalmness。Turningtohiswarriorshesaid，proudly——

"LetmychildrenretirewhileIspeaktotheagentofourGreatFatherinWashington。Hereafternolatchkeyswillbeprovidedforthewigwamsofthewarriors。Thepracticeoflatehoursmustbediscouraged。"

"How！"saidthewarriors，andinstantlyretired。

"Whisper，"saidJenkins，drawinghisfriendaside；"IamknownhereonlyastheBoyChiefofthe’Pigeontoes。’"

"AndI，"saidBromleyChitterlings，proudly，"amknowneverywhereasthePirateProdigy——theBoyAvengerofthePatagonianCoast。"

"Buthowcameyouhere？"

"Listen！Mypiratebrig，the’LivelyMermaid，’nowliesatMeiggs’sWharfinSanFrancisco，disguisedasaMendocinolumbervessel。MypiratecrewaccompaniedmehereinapalacecarfromSanFrancisco。"

"Itmusthavebeenexpensive，"saidtheprudentJenkins。

"Itwas，buttheydefrayeditbyacollectionfromtheotherpassengers——youunderstand，anenforcedcollection。Thepaperswillbefullofitto-morrow。Doyoutakethe’NewYorkSun’？"

"No；IdisliketheirIndianpolicy。Butwhyareyouhere？"

"Hearme，Jenk！’Tisalongandasadstory。ThelovelyElizaJ。

Sniffen，whofledwithmefromDoemville，wasseizedbyherparentsandtornfrommyarmsatNewRochelle。Reducedtopovertybythebreakingofthesavingsbankofwhichhewaspresident，——afailuretowhichIlargelycontributed，andtheprofitsofwhichI

enjoyed，——IhavesinceascertainedthatElizaJaneSniffenwasforcedtobecomeaschoolmistress，departedtotakechargeofaseminaryinColorado，andsincethenhasneverbeenheardfrom。"

WhydidtheBoyChiefturnpale，andclutchatthetent-poleforsupport？Why，indeed！

"ElizaJ。Sniffen，"gaspedJenkins，"agedfourteen，red-haired，withaslighttendencytostrabismus？"

"Thesame。"

"Heavenhelpme！Shediedbymymandate！"

"Traitor！"shriekedChitterlings，rushingatJenkinswithadrawnponiard。

Butafigureinterposed。TheslightgirlishformofMushymushwithoutstretchedhandsstoodbetweentheexasperatedPirateProdigyandtheBoyChief。

"Forbear，"shesaidsternlytoChitterlings；"youknownotwhatyoudo。"

Thetwoyouthspaused。

"Hearme，"shesaidrapidly。"Whencapturedinaconfectioner’sshopatNewRochelle，E。J。Sniffenwastakenbacktopoverty。Sheresolvedtobecomeaschoolmistress。HearingofanopeningintheWest，sheproceededtoColoradototakeexclusivechargeofthepensionnatofMad。Choflie，lateofParis。OnthewaythithershewascapturedbytheemissariesoftheBoyChief——"

"InconsummationofafatalvowImadenevertospareeducationalinstructors，"interruptedJenkins。

"Butinhercaptivity，"continuedMushymush，"shemanagedtostainherfacewithpoke-berryjuice，andminglingwiththeIndianmaidenswasenabledtopassforoneofthetribe。Onceundetected，sheboldlyingratiatedherselfwiththeBoyChief，——howhonestlyanddevotedlyhebestcantell，——forI，Mushymush，thelittlesisteroftheBoyChief，amElizaJaneSniffen。"

ThePirateProdigyclaspedherinhisarms。TheBoyChief，raisinghishand，ejaculated：——

"Blessyou，mychildren！"

"Thereisbutonethingwantingtocompletethisreunion，"saidChitterlings，afterapause，butthehurriedentranceofascoutstoppedhisutterance。

"AcommissionerfromtheGreatFatherinWashington。"

"Scalphim！"shriekedtheBoyChief；"thisisnotimefordiplomatictrifling。"

"Wehave，buthestillinsistsuponseeingyou，andhassentinhiscard。"

TheBoyChieftookit，andreadaloud，inagonizedaccents：——

"CharlesF。HallGolightly，latePageinUnitedStatesSenate，andActingCommissionerofUnitedStates。"

Inanothermoment，Golightly，pale，bleeding，and，asitwere，prematurelybald，butstillcoldandintellectual，enteredthewigwam。Theyfelluponhisneckandbeggedhisforgiveness。

"Don’tmentionit，"hesaid，quietly；"thesethingsmustandwillhappenunderourpresentsystemofgovernment。Mystoryisbrief。

Obtainingpoliticalinfluencethroughcaucuses，IbecameatlastPageintheSenate。ThroughtheexertionsofpoliticalfriendsI

wasappointedclerktothecommissionerwhosefunctionsInowrepresent。Knowingthroughpoliticalspiesinyourowncampwhoyouwere，Iacteduponthephysicalfearsofthecommissioner，whowasanex-clergyman，andeasilyinducedhimtodeputizemetoconsultwithyou。Indoingso，Ihavelostmyscalp，butasthehirsutesignsofjuvenilityhaveworkedagainstmypoliticalprogressIdonotregretit。AsapartiallybaldyoungmanIshallhavemorepower。ThetermsthatIhavetoofferaresimplythis：

youcandoeverythingyouwant，goanywhereyouchoose，ifyouwillonlyleavethisplace。Ihaveahundredthousand-dollardraftontheUnitedStatesTreasuryinmypocketatyourimmediatedisposal。"

"Butwhat’stobecomeofme？"askedChitterlings。

"Yourcasehasalreadybeenunderadvisement。TheSecretaryofState，whoisanintelligentman，isdeterminedtorecognizeyouasdejureanddefactotheonlyloyalrepresentativeofthePatagoniangovernment。YoumaysafelyproceedtoWashingtonasitsenvoyextraordinary。Idinewiththesecretarynextweek。"

"Andyourself，oldfellow？"

"IonlywishthattwentyyearsfromnowyouwillrecognizebyyourinfluenceandvotestherightsofC。F。H。Golightlytothepresidency。"

Andhereendsourstory。Trustingthatmydearyoungfriendsmaytakewhateverexampleormoraltheirrespectiveparentsandguardiansmaydeemfittestfromthesepages，IhopeinfutureyearstoportrayfurtherthecareerofthosethreeyoungheroesIhavealreadyintroducedinthespring-timeoflifetotheircharitableconsideration。

THEMANWHOSEYOKEWASNOTEASY

Hewasaspareman，and，physically，anill-conditionedman，butatfirstglancescarcelyaseedyman。Theindicationsofreducedcircumstancesinthemaleofthebetterclassare，Ifancy，firstvisibleinthebootsandshirt；thebootsoffensivelyexhibitingadegreeofpolishinconsistentwiththeirdilapidatedcondition，andtheshirtshowinganextentofostentatioussurfacethatisinvariablyfataltothethreadbarewaist-coatthatitpartiallycovers。Hewasapaleman，and，Ifancied，stillpalerfromhisblackclothes。

Hehandedmeanote。

Itwasfromacertainphysician；amanofbroadcultureandbroaderexperience；amanwhohaddevotedthegreaterpartofhisactivelifetothealleviationofsorrowandsuffering；amanwhohadliveduptothenoblevowsofanobleprofession；amanwholockedinhishonorablebreastthesecretsofahundredfamilies，whosefacewasaskindly，whosetouchwasasgentle，inthewardsofthegreatpublichospitalsasitwasbesidethelacedcurtainsofthedyingNarcissa；amanwho，throughlongcontactwithsuffering，hadacquiredauniversaltendernessandbreadthofkindlyphilosophy；amanwho，dayandnight，wasatthebeckandcallofanguish；amanwhoneveraskedthecreed，belief，moralorworldlystandingofthesufferer，orevenhisabilitytopaythefewcoinsthatenabledhim（thephysician）toexistandpracticehiscalling；inbrief，amanwhosonearlyliveduptotheexampleoftheGreatMasterthatitseemsstrangeIamwritingofhimasadoctorofmedicineandnotofdivinity。

Thenotewasinpencil，characteristicallybrief，andranthus：——

"HereisthemanIspokeof。Heoughttobegoodmaterialforyou。"

ForamomentIsatlookingfromthenotetotheman，andsoundingthe"dimperilousdepths"ofmymemoryforthemeaningofthismysteriouscommunication。Thegood"material，"however，soonrelievedmyembarrassmentbyputtinghishandonhiswaistcoat，comingtowardme，andsaying，"Itisjusthere，youcanfeelit。"

Itwasnotnecessaryformetodoso。InaflashIrememberedthatmymedicalfriendhadtoldmeofacertainpoorpatient，onceasoldier，who，amonghisothertrialsanduncertainties，wasafflictedwithananeurismcausedbythebuckleofhisknapsackpressinguponthearchoftheaorta。Itwasliabletoburstatanyshockoranymoment。Thepoorfellow’syokehadindeedbeentooheavy。

InthepresenceofsuchatremendouspossibilityIthinkforaninstantIfeltanxiousonlyaboutmyself。WhatIshoulddo；howdisposeofthebody；howexplainthecircumstanceofhistakingoff；howevadetheubiquitousreporterandthecoroner’sinquest；

howasuspicionmightarisethatIhadinsomeway，throughnegligenceorforsomedarkpurpose，unknowntothejury，precipitatedthecatastrophe，allflashedbeforeme。Eventhenote，withitsdarklysuggestiveofferof"goodmaterial"forme，lookeddiabolicallysignificant。Whatmightnotanintelligentlawyermakeofit？

Itoreitupinstantly，andwithfeverishcourtesybeggedhimtobeseated。

"Youdon’tcaretofeelit？"heasked，alittleanxiously。

"No。"

"Norseeit？"

"No。"

Hesighed，atriflesadly，asifIhadrejectedtheonlyfavorhecouldbestow。Isawatoncethathehadbeenunderfrequentexhibitiontothedoctors，andthathewas，perhaps，atriflevainofthisattention。Thisperceptionwascorroboratedamomentlaterbyhisproducingacopyofamedicalmagazine，witharemarkthatonthesixthpageIwouldfindafullstatementofhiscase。

"CouldIservehiminanyway？"Iasked。

ItappearedthatIcould。IfIcouldhelphimtoanylightemployment，somethingthatdidnotrequireanygreatphysicalexertionormentalexcitement，hewouldbethankful。Buthewantedmetounderstandthathewasnot，strictlyspeaking，apoorman；

thatsomeyearsbeforethediscoveryofhisfatalcomplainthehadtakenoutalifeinsurancepolicyforfivethousanddollars，andthathehadrakedandscrapedenoughtogethertopayitup，andthathewouldnotleavehiswifeandfourchildrendestitute。"Yousee，"headded，"ifIcouldfindsomesortoflightworktodo，andkindersledalong，youknow——until——"

Hestopped，awkwardly。

Ihaveheardseveralnotedactorsthrilltheiraudienceswithasinglephrase。IthinkIneverwasashonestlymovedbyanyspokenwordasthat"until，"orthepausethatfollowedit。Hewasevidentlyquiteunconsciousofitseffect，forasItookaseatbesidehimonthesofa，andlookedmorecloselyinhiswaxenface，Icouldseethathewasevidentlyembarrassed，andwouldhaveexplainedhimselffurther，ifIhadnotstoppedhim。

Possiblyitwasthedramaticidea，orpossiblychance；butafewdaysafterward，meetingacertainkind-heartedtheatricalmanager，Iaskedhimifhehadanylightemploymentforamanwhowasaninvalid？"Canhewalk？""Yes。""Standupforfifteenminutes？"

"Yes。""ThenI’lltakehim。He’lldoforthelastsceneinthe’DestructionofSennacherib’——it’satremendousthing，youknow。

We’llhavetwothousandpeopleonthestage。"Iwasatriflealarmedatthetitle，andventuredtosuggest（withoutbetrayingmypoorfriend’ssecretthathecouldnotactivelyengageinthe"DestructionofSennacherib，"andthateventhespectacleofitmightbetoomuchforhim。"Needn’tseeitatall，"saidmymanagerialfriend；"puthiminfront，nothingtodobutmarchinandmarchout，anddodgecurtain。"

Hewasengaged。IadmitIwasattimeshauntedbygravedoubtsastowhetherIshouldnothaveinformedthemanagerofhisphysicalcondition，andthepossibilitythathemightsomeeveningperpetratearealtragedyonthemimicstage，butonthefirstperformanceof"TheDestructionofSennacherib，"whichI

conscientiouslyattended，Iwassomewhatrelieved。Ihadoftenbeenamusedwiththeplacidwayinwhichthechorusintheoperainvariablyreceivedthemostastoundinginformation，andwitnessedthemostappallingtragediesbypoisonortheblock，withoutanythingmorethanavocalprotestorcommand，alwaysdeliveredtotheaudienceandnevertotheactors，butIthinkmypoorfriend’sutterimpassivenesstothewildcarnageandtheterribleexhibitionsofincendiarismthatweregoingonaroundhimtranscendedeventhat。Dressedinacostumethatseemedtobetheverysoulofanachronism，hestoodalittleoutsidetheproscenium，holdingaspear，theotherhandpressedapparentlyuponthesecretwithinhisbreast，calmlysurveying，withhiswaxenface，thegayauditorium。Icouldnothelpthinkingthattherewasacertainpridevisibleeveninhisplacidfeatures，asofonewhowasconsciousthatatanymomenthemightchangethissimulatedcatastropheintorealterror。IcouldnothelpsayingthistotheDoctor，whowaswithme。"Yes，"hesaidwithprofessionalexactitude；"whenithappenshe’llthrowhisarmsupabovehishead，utteranejaculation，andfallforwardonhisface，——it’sasingularthing，theyalwaysfallforwardontheirface，——andthey’llpickupthemanasdeadasJuliusCaesar。"

Afterthat，Iusedtogonightafternight，withacertainhideousfascination；but，whileitwillberememberedthe"DestructionofSennacherib"hadatremendousrun，itwillalsoberememberedthatnotasinglelifewasreallylostduringitsrepresentation。

Itwasonlyafewweeksafterthismodestfirstappearanceontheboardsof"TheManwithanAneurism，"that，happeningtobeatdinnerpartyofpracticalbusinessmen，Isoughttointerestthemwiththedetailsoftheabovestory，deliveredwithsuchskillandpathosasIcouldcommand。Iregrettosaythat，asapatheticstory，itforamomentseemedtobeadeadfailure。Atlastaprominentbankersittingnexttometurnedtomewiththeawfulquestion："Whydon’tyourfriendtrytorealizeonhislifeinsurance？"Ibeggedhispardon，Ididn’tquiteunderstand。"Oh，discount，sellout。Lookhere——（afterapause）。Lethimassignhispolicytome，it’snotmuchofarisk，onyourstatement。

Well——I’llgivehimhisfivethousanddollars，clear。"

Andhedid。Undertheadviceofthiscool-headed——IthinkImayaddwarm-hearted——banker，"TheManwithanAneurism"investedhismoneyinthenameofandforthebenefitofhiswifeincertainsecuritiesthatpaidhimasmallbutregularstipend。Buthestillcontinuedupontheboardsofthetheatre。

Byreasonofsomebusinessengagementsthatcalledmeawayfromthecity，Ididnotseemyfriendthephysicianforthreemonthsafterward。WhenIdidIaskedtidingsofTheManwiththeAneurism。TheDoctor’skindfacegrewsad。"I’mafraid——thatis，Idon’texactlyknowwhetherI’vegoodnewsorbad。Didyoueverseehiswife？"

Ineverhad。

"Well，shewasyoungerthanhe，andratherattractive。Oneofthosedoll-facedwomen。Youremember，hesettledthatlifeinsurancepolicyonherandthechildren：shemighthavewaited；

shedidn’t。Theotherdaysheelopedwithsomefellow，Idon’trememberhisname，withthechildrenandthefivethousanddollars。"

"Andtheshockkilledhim，"Isaidwithpoeticpromptitude。

"No——thatis——notyet；Isawhimyesterday，"saidtheDoctor，withconscientiousprofessionalprecision，lookingoverhislistofcalls。

"Well，whereisthepoorfellownow？"

"He’sstillatthetheatre。James，ifthesepowdersarecalledfor，you’llfindthem，hereinthisenvelope。TellMrs。BlankI’llbethereatseven——andshecangivethebabythisuntilIcome。

Saythere’snodanger。Thesewomenareanawfulbother！Yes，he’satthetheatreyet。Whichwayareyougoing？Downtown？Whycan’tyoustepintomycarriage，andI’llgiveyoualift，andwe’lltalkonthewaydown？Well——he’satthetheatreyet。And——

and——doyourememberthe’DestructionofSennacherib？’No？Yesyoudo。Yourememberthatwomaninpink，whopirouettedinthefamousballetscene！Youdon’t？Why，yesyoudo！Well，I

imagine，ofcourseIdon’tknow，it’sonlyasummarydiagnosis，butIimaginethatourfriendwiththeaneurismhasattachedhimselftoher。"

"Doctor，youhorrifyme。"

"Therearemorethings，Mr。Poet，inheavenandearththanareyetdreamtofinyourphilosophy。Listen。Mydiagnosismaybewrong，butthatwomancalledtheotherdayatmyofficetoaskabouthim，hishealth，andgeneralcondition。Itoldherthetruth——andsheFAINTED。ItwasaboutasdeadafaintasIeversaw；Iwasnearlyanhourinbringingheroutofit。Ofcourseitwastheheatoftheroom，herexertionstheprecedingweek，andIprescribedforher。Queer，wasn’tit？Now，ifIwereawriter，andhadyourfaculty，I’dmakesomethingoutofthat。"

"Buthowishisgeneralhealth？"

"Oh，aboutthesame。Hecan’tevadewhatwillcome，youknow，atanymoment。Hewasupheretheotherday。Why，thepulsationwasasplain——why，theentirearchoftheaorta——What！yougetouthere？Good-by。"

Ofcoursenomoralist，nomanwritingforasensitiveandstrictlyvirtuouspublic，couldfurtherinteresthimselfinthisman。SoI

dismissedhimatoncefrommymind，andreturnedtotheliterarycontemplationofvirtuethatwasclearlyandpositivelydefined，andofSin，thatinvariablycommencedwithacapitalletter。Thatthisman，inhisawfulcondition，hoveringonthevergeofeternity，shouldallowhimselftobeattractedby——butitwashorribletocontemplate。

Nevertheless，amonthafterwards，IwasreturningfromafestivitywithmyintimatefriendSmith，mydistinguishedfriendJobling，mymostrespectablefriendRobinson，andmywittiestfriendJones。Itwasaclear，star-litmorning，andweseemedtoholdthebroad，beautifulavenuetoourselves；andIfearweactedasifitwereso。AswehilariouslypassedthecornerofEighteenthStreet，acouperolledby，andIsuddenlyheardmynamecalledfromitsgloomydepths。

"Ibegyourpardon，"saidtheDoctor，ashisdriverdrewupbythesidewalk，"butI’vesomenewsforyou。I’vejustbeentoseeourpoorfriend————。OfcourseIwastoolate。Hewasgoneinaflash。"

"What！dead？"

"AsPharaoh！Inaninstant，justasIsaid。Yousee，therupturetookplaceinthedescendingarchof——"

"But，Doctor！"

"It’saqueerstory。AmIkeepingyoufromyourfriends？No？

Well，youseeshe——thatwomanIspokeof——hadwrittenanotetohimbasedonwhatIhadtoldher。Hegotit，anddroppedinhisdressing-room，deadasaherring。"

"Howcouldshehavebeensocruel，knowinghiscondition？Shemight，withwoman’stact，haverejectedhimlessabruptly。"

"Yes；butyou’reallwrong。ByJove！sheACCEPTEDhim！waswillingtomarryhim！"

"What？"

"Yes。Don’tyousee？Itwasjoythatkilledhim。Gad，weneverthoughtofTHAT！Queer，ain’tit？Seehere，don’tyouthinkyoumightmakeastoryoutofit？"

"But，Doctor，ithasn’tgotanymoral。"

"Humph！That’sso。Goodmorning。Driveon，John。"

MYFRIEND，THETRAMP

IhadbeensaunteringoverthecloverdownsofacertainnotedNewEnglandseaport。ItwasaSabbathmorning，sosingularlyreposefulandgracious，sorepletewiththesignificanceoftheseventhdayofrest，thateventheSabbathbellsringingamileawayoverthesaltmarsheshadlittlethatwasmonitory，mandatory，orevensupplicatoryintheirdrowsyvoices。Rathertheyseemedtocallfromtheircloudytowers，likesomerenegademuezzin："Sleepisbetterthanprayer；sleepon，OsonsofthePuritans！Slumberstill，Odeaconsandvestrymen！Let，ohletthosefeetthatareswifttowickednesscurlupbeneaththee！thosepalmsthatareitchingfortheshekelsoftheungodlylieclaspedbeneaththypillow！Sleepisbetterthanprayer。"

And，indeed，thoughitwashighmorning，sleepwasstillintheair。Wroughtuponatlastbythecombinedinfluencesofseaandskyandatmosphere，Isuccumbed，andlaydownononeofthebouldersofalittlestonyslopethatgaveuponthesea。ThegreatAtlanticlaybeforeme，notyetquiteawake，butslowlyheavingtherhythmicalexpirationofslumber。Therewasnosailvisibleinthemistyhorizon。Therewasnothingtodobuttolieandstareattheunwinkingether。

SuddenlyIbecameawareofthestrongfumesoftobacco。Turningmyhead，Isawapalebluesmokecurlingupfrombehindanadjacentboulder。Rising，andclimbingovertheintermediategranite，I

cameuponalittlehollow，inwhich，comfortablyextendedonthemossesandlichens，layapowerfully-builtman。Hewasveryragged；hewasverydirty；therewasastrongsuggestionabouthimofhishavingtoomuchhair，toomuchnail，toomuchperspiration；

toomuchofthosesuperfluousexcrescencesandexudationsthatsocietyandcivilizationstrivetokeepunder。Butitwasnoticeablethathehadnotmuchofanythingelse。ItwasTheTramp。

Withthatswiftseveritywithwhichwealwaysvisitrebukeuponthepersonwhohappenstopresentanyoneofourvicesoffensivelybeforeus，inhisownperson，Iwasdeeplyindignantathislaziness。PerhapsIshoweditinmymanner，forherosetoahalf-

sittingattitude，returnedmystareapologetically，andmadeamovementtowardknockingthefirefromhispipeagainstthegranite。

"Shure，sur，andifI’dbelavedthatIwastrispassinonyerhonor’sgrounds，it’smeselfthatwouldhevlaiddownonthesayshoreandtakin’thesaltwavesformeblankits。Butit’ssivinteenmilesI’vewalkedthisblessednoight，withnothin’tosustainme，andhevin’amortalwakenesstofightwidinmebowels，byreasonofstarvation，andonlyabito’baccythattheWiddyMaloneygi’meatthecrossroads，tokapemeupentoirley。ButitwasthedarkdayIleftmehomeinMilwaukeetowalktoBoston；andifye’llobligealonemanwhohasleftawifeandsixchildreninMilwaukee，widtheloanoftwenty-fivecints，furninstthetimehegitsworruk，God’llbegoodtoye。"

Itinstantlyflashedthroughmymindthatthemanbeforemehadthepreviousnightpartakenofthekitchenhospitalityofmylittlecottage，twomilesaway。Thathepresentedhimselfintheguiseofadistressedfisherman，mulctedofhiswagesbyaninhumancaptain；

thathehadawifelyingsickofconsumptioninthenextvillage，andtwochildren，oneofwhomwasacripple，wanderinginthestreetsofBoston。IrememberedthatthistremendousindictmentagainstFortunetouchedthefamily，andthatthedistressedfishermanwasprovidedwithclothes，food，andsomesmallchange。

Thefoodandsmallchangehaddisappeared，butthegarmentsfortheconsumptivewife，wherewerethey？Hehadbeenusingthemforapillow。

Iinstantlypointedoutthisfact，andchargedhimwiththedeception。Tomysurprise，hetookitquietly，andevenalittlecomplacently。

"Bedad，yerroight；yesee，sur"（confidentially），"yesee，sur，untilIgetworruk——andit’sworrukI’mlukin’for——Ihavetodesavenowandthintoshutethelocality。Ah，Godsaveus！butonthesay-coastthay’rthathar-ruduponthimthatdon’tbelongtothesay。"

Iventuredtosuggestthatastrong，healthymanlikehimmighthavefoundworksomewherebetweenMilwaukeeandBoston。

"Ah，butyeseeIgotfreepassageonafreighttrain，anddidn’tsthop。ItwasintheAistthatIexpectedtofindworruk。"

"Haveyouanytrade？"

"Trade，isit？I’mabrickmaker，Godknows，andmany’stheliftI’vehadatmakin’bricksinMilwaukee。Shure，I’veasaisyahandatitasanyman。Maybeyerhonormightknowofakillhereabout？"

Nowtomycertainknowledge，therewasnotabrickkilnwithinfiftymilesofthatspot，andofallunlikelyplacestofindonewouldhavebeenthissandypeninsula，givenuptothesummerresidencesofafewwealthypeople。YetIcouldnothelpadmiringtheassumptionofthescamp，whoknewthisfactaswellasmyself。

ButIsaid，"Icangiveyouworkforadayortwo；"and，biddinghimgatheruphissickwife’sapparel，ledthewayacrossthedownstomycottage。AtfirstIthinktheoffertookhimbysurprise，andgavehimsomeconsternation，buthepresentlyrecoveredhisspirits，andalmostinstantlyhisspeech。"Ah，worruk，isit？Godbepraised！it’smeselfthat’sreadyandwillin’。’Thoughmaybemehandisspoiltwidbrickmakin’。"

IassuredhimthattheworkIwouldgivehimwouldrequirenodelicatemanipulation，andsowefaredonoverthesleepydowns。

ButIcouldnothelpnoticingthat，althoughaninvalid，Iwasamuchbetterpedestrianthanmycompanion，frequentlyleavinghimbehind，andthatevenasa"tramp，"hewasetymologicallyanimpostor。Hehadawayoflingeringbesidethefenceswehadtoclimbover，asiftocontinuemoreconfidentiallythehistoryofhismisfortunesandtroubles，whichhewasdeliveringtomeduringourhomewardwalk，andInoticedthathecouldseldomresisttheinvitationofamossyboulderoratussockofsaltgrass。"Yesee，sur，"hewouldsay，suddenlysittingdown，"it’salonguvmemisfortunesbeginnin’inMilwaukeethat——"anditwasnotuntilI

wasoutofhearingthathewouldlanguidlygatherhistrapsagainandsaunterafterme。WhenIreachedmyowngardengateheleanedforamomentoverit，withbothofhispowerfularmsextendeddownward，andsaid，"Ah，butit’sablessin’thatSundaycomestogiverestfurthewakeandtheweary，andthemaswalkssivinteenmilestogetit。"OfcourseItookthehint。Therewasevidentlynoworktobehadfrommyfriend，theTramp，thatday。Yethiscountenancebrightenedashesawthelimitedextentofmydomain，andobservedthatthegarden，socalled，wasonlyaflower-bedabouttwenty-fivebyten。Ashehaddoubtlessbeforethisbeenutilized，totheextentofhiscapacity，indigging，hehadprobablyexpectedthatkindofwork；andIdaresayIdiscomfittedhimbypointinghimtoanalmostleveledstonewall，abouttwentyfeetlong，withtheremarkthathisworkwouldbetherebuildingofthatstonewall，withstonebroughtfromtheneighboringslopes。

Inafewmomentshewascomfortablyprovidedforinthekitchen，wherethecook，awomanofhisownnativity，apparently，"chaffed"

himwitharaillerythatwastomequiteunintelligible。YetI

noticedthatwhen，atsunset，heaccompaniedBridgettothespringforwater，ostentatiouslyflourishingtheemptybucketinhishand，whentheyreturnedinthegloamingBridgetwascarryingthewater，andmyfriend，theTramp，wassomepacesbehindher，cheerfully"colloguing，"andpickingblackberries。

Atseventhenextmorninghestartedincheerfullytowork。Atnine，A。M。，hehadplacedthreelargestonesonthefirstcourseinposition，anhourhavingbeenspentinlookingforapickandhammer，andintheincidental"chaffing"withBridget。Atteno’clockIwenttooverlookhiswork；itwasarashaction，asitcausedhimtorespectfullydoffhishat，discontinuehislabors，andleanbackagainstthefenceincheerfulandeasyconservation。

"Areyoufonduvblackberries，Captain？"Itoldhimthatthechildrenwereinthehabitofgettingthemfromthemeadowbeyond，hopingtoestopthesuggestionIknewwascoming。"Ah，but，Captain，it’smeselfthatwithwanderin’andhavin’nothin’topassmelipsbuttheberriesI’dpickfromthehedges，——it’smeselfknowswheretofindthim。Sure，it’syerchilder，andfoineboystheyare，Captain，that’sbesachingmetogowid’emtotheplace，known’stonlytomeself。"Itisunnecessarytosaythathetriumphed。Afterthemannerofvagabondsofalldegrees，hehadenlistedthewomenandchildrenonhisside——andmyfriend，theTramp，hadhisownway。Hedepartedatelevenandreturnedatfour，P。M。，withatindinner-pailhalffilled。Oninterrogatingtheboysitappearedthattheyhadhada"bullytime，"butoncross-examinationitcameoutthatTHEYhadpickedtheberries。

Fromfourtosix，threemorestoneswerelaid，andthearduouslaborsofthedaywereover。AsIstoodlookingatthefirstcourseofsixstones，myfriend，theTramp，stretchedhisstrongarmsouttotheirfullestextentandsaid："Ay，butit’sworrukthat’sgoodforme；givemeworruk，andit’sallI’llbeaskin’

fur。"

Iventuredtosuggestthathehadnotyetaccomplishedmuch。

"Waittillto-morror。Ah，butye’llseethin。It’smehandthat’syetonaisywidbrick-makin’andsthrangetotheshtones。Anye’llwaittillto-morror？"

UnfortunatelyIdidnotwait。Anengagementtookmeawayatanearlyhour，andwhenIrodeuptomycottageatnoonmyeyesweregreetedwiththeastonishingspectacleofmytwoboyshardatworklayingthecoursesofthestonewall，assistedbyBridgetandNorah，whoweredraggingstonesfromthehillsides，whilecomfortablystretchedonthetopofthewalllaymyfriend，theTramp，quietlyoverseeingtheoperationwithlazyandhumorouscomment。ForaninstantIwasfoolishlyindignant，buthesoonbroughtmetomysenses。"Shure，sur，it’sonlylarnin’theboysthehabitsuvindusthryIwas——andmaytheyniverknow，bethesametoken，whatitistoworrukfurthebreadbetunetheirlips。Shureit’sbutmakin’’emthinkitplayIwas。Asfurthecolleensbeyintinthekitchen，sureisn’titbetthertheywashelpingyourhonorherethancolloguingwiththemselvesinside？"

Nevertheless，Ithoughtitexpedienttoforbidhenceforthanyinterruptionofservantsorchildrenwithmyfriend’s"worruk。"

PerhapsitwastheresultofthisembargothatthenextmorningearlytheTrampwantedtoseeme。

"Andit’ssorryIamtosayittoye，sur，"hebegan，"butit’sthehandlin’ofthisstunthat’sdesthroyin’metouchatthebrick-

makin’，andit’sbetterIshouldlaveyeandfindworrukatmeownthrade。Forit’sworrukIamnadin’。Itisn’tmeself，Captain，toatethebreadofoidlenesshere。Andsogood-bytoye，andifit’sfiftycintsyecanbegivin’meontilI’llfindakill——it’sGodthat’llrepayye。"

Hegotthemoney。Buthegotalsoconditionallyanotefrommetomynextneighbor，awealthyretiredphysician，possessedofalargedomain，amaneminentlypracticalandbusinesslikeinhismanagementofit。Heemployedmanylaborersonthesterilewastehecalledhis"farm，"anditoccurredtomethatiftherereallywasanyworkinmyfriend，theTramp，whichmyownindolenceandpreoccupationhadfailedtobringout，hewasthemantodoit。

Imethimaweekafter。ItwaswithsomeembarrassmentthatI

inquiredaftermyfriend，theTramp。"Oh，yes，"hesaid，reflectively，"let’ssee：hecameMondayandleftmeThursday。Hewas，Ithink，astout，strongman，awell-meaning，good-humoredfellow，butafflictedwithamostsingularvarietyofdiseases。

ThefirstdayIputhimatworkinthestableshedevelopedchillsandfevercaughtintheswampsofLouisiana——"

"Excuseme，"Isaidhurriedly，"youmeaninMilwaukee！"

"IknowwhatI’mtalkingabout，"returnedtheDoctor，testily；"hetoldmehiswholewretchedstory——hisescapefromtheConfederateservice，theattackuponhimbyarmednegroes，hisconcealmentinthebayousandswamps——"

"Goon，Doctor，"Isaid，feebly；"youwerespeakingofhiswork。"

"Yes。Well，hissystemwasfullofmalaria；thefirstdayIhadhimwrappedupinblankets，anddosedwithquinine。Thenextdayhewastakenwithallthesymptomsofcholeramorbus，andIhadtokeephimuponbrandyandcapsicum。Rheumatismsetinonthefollowingday，andincapacitatedhimforwork，andIconcludedI

hadbettergivehimanotetothedirectoroftheCityHospitalthankeephimhere。Asapathologicalstudyhewasgood；butasI

waslookingforamantohelpaboutthestable，Icouldn’taffordtokeephiminbothcapacities。"

AsInevercouldreallytellwhentheDoctorwasinjokeorinearnest，Idroppedthesubject。Andsomyfriend，theTramp，graduallyfadedfrommymemory，nothoweverwithoutleavingbehindhiminthebarnwherehehadsleptalingeringflavorofwhisky，onions，andfluffiness。Butintwoweeksthishadgone，andthe"Shebang"（asmyfriendsirreverentlytermedmyhabitation）knewhimnomore。Yetitwaspleasanttothinkofhimashavingatlastfoundajobatbrick-making，orhavingreturnedtohisfamilyatMilwaukee，ormakinghisLouisianahomeoncemorehappywithhispresence，oragaintemptingthefish-producingmain——thistimewithanobleandequitablecaptain。

ItwasalovelyAugustmorningwhenIrodeacrossthesandypeninsulatovisitacertainnotedfamily，whereofallthesonswerevaliantandthedaughtersbeautiful。Thefrontofthehousewasdeserted，butontherearverandaIheardtherustleofgowns，andaboveitarosewhatseemedtobethevoiceofUlysses，recitinghiswanderings。Therewasnomistakingthatvoice，itwasmyfriend，theTramp！

FromwhatIcouldhastilygatherfromhisspeech，hehadwalkedfromSt。John，N。B。，torejoinadistressedwifeinNewYork，whowas，however，livingwithopulentbutobjectionablerelatives。

"An’shure，miss，Iwouldn’tbeaskin’yetheloanofacintifI

couldgetworrukatmetradeofcarpet-wavin’——andmaybeyeknowofsomemannfacthorywheretheywavecarpetsbeyanthere。Ah，miss，andifyedon’tgivemeacint，it’senoughfortheloikesofmetoknowthatmetroubleshasbroughtthetearsinthemostbeautifuloiyesinthewurruld，andGodblessyeforit，miss！"

NowIknewthattheMostBeautifulEyesintheWorldbelongedtooneofthemostsympatheticandtenderestheartsintheworld，andIfeltthatcommonjusticedemandedmyinterferencebetweenitandoneofthebiggestscampsintheworld。So，withoutwaitingtobeannouncedbytheservant，Iopenedthedoor，andjoinedthegroupontheveranda。

IfIexpectedtotouchtheconscienceofmyfriend，theTramp，byadramaticentrance，Ifailedutterly；fornosoonerdidheseeme，thanheinstantlygaveventtoahowlofdelight，and，fallingonhiskneesbeforeme，graspedmyhand，andturnedoratoricallytotheladies。

"Oh，butit’shimself——himselfthathascomeasawitnesstomecarrakther！Oh，butit’shimselfthatliftedmefourwakesago，whenIwaslyin’withamortalwakenessonthesay-coast，andtukmetohishouse。Oh，butit’shimselfthatshupportedmeoverthefaldes，andwhinthechillsandfavercameonmeandIshiveredwidthecold，itwashimself，Godblesshim，assthrippedthecoatoffhisback，andgivitme，sayin’，’Takeit，Dinnis，it’sshtarvedwiththecowldsayairye’llbeentoirely。’Ah，butlookathim——

willye，miss！Lookathisswate，modistface——ablushin’likeyourown，miss。Ah！lookathim，willye？He’llbedenyin’ofitinaminit——maytheblessin’uvGodfollyhim。Lookathim，miss！

Ah，butit’saswatepairye’dmake！（therascalknewIwasamarriedman）。Ah，miss，ifyoucouldseehimwroightin’dayandnightwithsuchanilliganthandofhisown——（hehadevidentlybelievedfromthegossipofmyservantsthatIwasaprofessorofchirography）——ifyecouldseehim，miss，asIhave，ye’dbeproudofhim。"

Hestoppedoutofbreath。IwassocompletelyastoundedIcouldsaynothing：thetremendousindictmentIhadframedtoutterasI

openedthedoorvanishedcompletely。AndastheMostBeautifulEyesintheWurruldturnedgratefullytomine——well——

Istillretainedenoughprincipletoasktheladiestowithdraw，whileIwouldtakeuponmyselfthedutyofexaminingintothecaseofmyfriend，theTramp，andgivinghimsuchreliefaswasrequired。（Ididnotknowuntilafterward，however，thattherascalhadalreadydespoiledtheirscantpursesofthreedollarsandfiftycents。）WhenthedoorwascloseduponthemIturneduponhim。

"Youinfernalrascal！"

"Ah，Captain，andwouldyeberefusin’MEacarraktherandmegivin’YEsuchaoneasOidid！Godsaveus！butifye’dhav’seenthelukthatthepurtyonegiveye。Well，beforethechillsandfaverbrukmespiritsentirely，whenIwasayoungman，andmakin’

metindollarsaweekbrick-makin’，it’smeselfthatwudhav’

given——"

"Iconsider，"Ibrokein，"thatadollarisafairpriceforyourstory，andasIshallhavetotakeitallbackandexposeyoubeforethenexttwenty-fourhourspass，IthinkyouhadbetterhastentoMilwaukee，NewYork，orLouisiana。"

Ihandedhimthedollar。"Mind，Idon’twanttoseeyourfaceagain。"

"Yewun’t，captain。"

AndIdidnot。

Butitsochancedthatlaterintheseason，whenthemigratoryinhabitantshadflowntotheirhot-airregistersinBostonandProvidence，Ibreakfastedwithonewhohadlingered。ItwasacertainBostonlawyer，——repletewithprinciple，honesty，self-

discipline，statistics，aesthetics，andaperfectconsciousnessofpossessingallthesevirtues，andafullrecognitionoftheirmarketvalues。Ithinkhetoleratedmeasakindofforeigner，gentlybutfirmlywaivingallargumentonanytopic，frequentlydistrustingmyfacts，generallymydeductions，andalwaysmyideas。