第3章

Thestrangepartofthestory，however，isthatthoughtheyascribemoraldefectstotheeffectofmisfortuneeitherincharacterorsurroundings，theywillnotlistentothepleaofmisfortuneincasesthatinEnglandmeetwithsympathyandcommiserationonly。

Illluckofanykind，orevenilltreatmentatthehandsofothers，isconsideredanoffenceagainstsociety，inasmuchasitmakespeopleuncomfortabletohearofit。Lossoffortune，therefore，orlossofsomedearfriendonwhomanotherwasmuchdependent，ispunishedhardlylessseverelythanphysicaldelinquency。

Foreign，indeed，assuchideasaretoourown，tracesofsomewhatsimilaropinionscanbefoundeveninnineteenth-centuryEngland。

Ifapersonhasanabscess，themedicalmanwillsaythatitcontains“peccant“matter，andpeoplesaythattheyhavea“bad“

armorfinger，orthattheyarevery“bad“allover，whentheyonlymean“diseased。”AmongforeignnationsErewhonianopinionsmaybestillmoreclearlynoted。TheMahommedans，forexample，tothisday，sendtheirfemaleprisonerstohospitals，andtheNewZealandMaoriesvisitanymisfortunewithforcibleentryintothehouseoftheoffender，andthebreakingupandburningofallhisgoods。

TheItalians，again，usethesamewordfor“disgrace“and“misfortune。”IonceheardanItalianladyspeakofayoungfriendwhomshedescribedasendowedwitheveryvirtueunderheaven，“ma。”

sheexclaimed，“poverodisgraziato，haammazzatosuozio。”(“Poorunfortunatefellow，hehasmurderedhisuncle。”)

Onmentioningthis，whichIheardwhentakentoItalyasaboybymyfather，thepersontowhomItolditshowednosurprise。HesaidthathehadbeendrivenfortwoorthreeyearsinacertaincitybyayoungSiciliancabdriverofprepossessingmannersandappearance，butthenlostsightofhim。Onaskingwhathadbecomeofhim，hewastoldthathewasinprisonforhavingshotathisfatherwithintenttokillhim——happilywithoutseriousresult。

Someyearslatermyinformantagainfoundhimselfwarmlyaccostedbytheprepossessingyoungcabdriver。“Ah，carosignore。”heexclaimed，“sonocinqueannichenonlovedo——treannidimilitare，edueannididisgrazia。”&c。(“Mydearsir，itisfiveyearssinceIsawyou——threeyearsofmilitaryservice，andtwoofmisfortune“)——duringwhichlastthepoorfellowhadbeeninprison。

Ofmoralsenseheshowednotsomuchasatrace。Heandhisfatherwerenowonexcellentterms，andwerelikelytoremainsounlesseitherofthemshouldagainhavethemisfortunemortallytooffendtheother。

InthefollowingchapterIwillgiveafewexamplesofthewayinwhichwhatweshouldcallmisfortune，hardship，ordiseasearedealtwithbytheErewhonians，butforthemomentwillreturntotheirtreatmentofcasesthatwithusarecriminal。AsIhavealreadysaid，these，thoughnotjudiciallypunishable，arerecognisedasrequiringcorrection。Accordingly，thereexistsaclassofmentrainedinsoul-craft，whomtheycallstraighteners，asnearlyasIcantranslateawordwhichliterallymeans“onewhobendsbackthecrooked。”ThesemenpractisemuchasmedicalmeninEngland，andreceiveaquasi-surreptitiousfeeoneveryvisit。

Theyaretreatedwiththesameunreserve，andobeyedasreadily，asourowndoctors——thatistosay，onthewholesufficiently——becausepeopleknowthatitistheirinteresttogetwellassoonastheycan，andthattheywillnotbescoutedastheywouldbeiftheirbodieswereoutoforder，eventhoughtheymayhavetoundergoaverypainfulcourseoftreatment。

WhenIsaythattheywillnotbescouted，IdonotmeanthatanErewhonianwillsuffernosocialinconvenienceinconsequence，wewillsay，ofhavingcommittedfraud。Friendswillfallawayfromhimbecauseofhisbeinglesspleasantcompany，justasweourselvesaredisinclinedtomakecompanionsofthosewhoareeitherpoororpoorly。Noonewithanysenseofself-respectwillplacehimselfonanequalityinthematterofaffectionwiththosewhoarelessluckythanhimselfinbirth，health，money，goodlooks，capacity，oranythingelse。Indeed，thatdislikeandevendisgustshouldbefeltbythefortunatefortheunfortunate，oratanyrateforthosewhohavebeendiscoveredtohavemetwithanyofthemoreseriousandlessfamiliarmisfortunes，isnotonlynatural，butdesirableforanysociety，whetherofmanorbrute。

Thefact，therefore，thattheErewhoniansattachnoneofthatguilttocrimewhichtheydotophysicalailments，doesnotpreventthemoreselfishamongthemfromneglectingafriendwhohasrobbedabank，forinstance，tillhehasfullyrecovered；butitdoespreventthemfromeventhinkingoftreatingcriminalswiththatcontemptuoustonewhichwouldseemtosay，“I，ifIwereyou，shouldbeabettermanthanyouare。”atonewhichisheldquitereasonableinregardtophysicalailment。Hence，thoughtheyconcealillhealthbyeverycunningandhypocrisyandartificewhichtheycandevise，theyarequiteopenaboutthemostflagrantmentaldiseases，shouldtheyhappentoexist，whichtodothepeoplejusticeisnotoften。Indeed，therearesomewhoare，sotospeak，spiritualvaletudinarians，andwhomakethemselvesexceedinglyridiculousbytheirnervoussuppositionthattheyarewicked，whiletheyareverytolerablepeopleallthetime。Thishoweverisexceptional；andonthewholetheyusemuchthesamereserveorunreserveaboutthestateoftheirmoralwelfareaswedoaboutourhealth。

Hencealltheordinarygreetingsamongourselves，suchas，Howdoyoudo？andthelike，areconsideredsignsofgrossill-breeding；

nordothepoliterclassestolerateevensuchacommoncomplimentaryremarkastellingamanthatheislookingwell。

Theysaluteeachotherwith，“Ihopeyouaregoodthismorning；“or“IhopeyouhaverecoveredfromthesnappishnessfromwhichyouweresufferingwhenIlastsawyou；“andifthepersonsalutedhasnotbeengood，orisstillsnappish，hesayssoatonceandiscondoledwithaccordingly。Indeed，thestraightenershavegonesofarastogivenamesfromthehypotheticallanguage(astaughtattheCollegesofUnreason)，toallknownformsofmentalindisposition，andtoclassifythemaccordingtoasystemoftheirown，which，thoughIcouldnotunderstandit，seemedtoworkwellinpractice；fortheyarealwaysabletotellamanwhatisthematterwithhimassoonastheyhaveheardhisstory，andtheirfamiliaritywiththelongnamesassureshimthattheythoroughlyunderstandhiscase。

Thereaderwillhavenodifficultyinbelievingthatthelawsregardingillhealthwerefrequentlyevadedbythehelpofrecognisedfictions，whicheveryoneunderstood，butwhichitwouldbeconsideredgrossill-breedingtoevenseemtounderstand。Thus，adayortwoaftermyarrivalattheNosnibors’，oneofthemanyladieswhocalledonmemadeexcusesforherhusband’sonlysendinghiscard，onthegroundthatwhengoingthroughthepublicmarket-

placethatmorninghehadstolenapairofsocks。IhadalreadybeenwarnedthatIshouldnevershowsurprise，soImerelyexpressedmysympathy，andsaidthatthoughIhadonlybeeninthecapitalsoshortatime，Ihadalreadyhadaverynarrowescapefromstealingaclothes-brush，andthatthoughIhadresistedtemptationsofar，IwassadlyafraidthatifIsawanyobjectofspecialinterestthatwasneithertoohotnortooheavy，Ishouldhavetoputmyselfinthestraightener’shands。

Mrs。Nosnibor，whohadbeenkeepinganearonallthatIhadbeensaying，praisedmewhentheladyhadgone。Nothing，shesaid，couldhavebeenmorepoliteaccordingtoErewhonianetiquette。Shethenexplainedthattohavestolenapairofsocks，or“tohavethesocks“(inmorecolloquiallanguage)，wasarecognisedwayofsayingthatthepersoninquestionwasslightlyindisposed。

Inspiteofallthistheyhaveakeensenseoftheenjoymentconsequentuponwhattheycallbeing“well。”Theyadmirementalhealthandloveitinotherpeople，andtakeallthepainstheycan(consistentlywiththeirotherduties)tosecureitforthemselves。

Theyhaveanextremedisliketomarryingintowhattheyconsiderunhealthyfamilies。Theysendforthestraighteneratoncewhenevertheyhavebeenguiltyofanythingseriouslyflagitious——

ofteneveniftheythinkthattheyareonthepointofcommittingit；andthoughhisremediesaresometimesexceedinglypainful，involvingcloseconfinementforweeks，andinsomecasesthemostcruelphysicaltortures，IneverheardofareasonableErewhonianrefusingtodowhathisstraightenertoldhim，anymorethanofareasonableEnglishmanrefusingtoundergoeventhemostfrightfuloperation，ifhisdoctorstoldhimitwasnecessary。

WeinEnglandnevershrinkfromtellingourdoctorwhatisthematterwithusmerelythroughthefearthathewillhurtus。Welethimdohisworstuponus，andstanditwithoutamurmur，becausewearenotscoutedforbeingill，andbecauseweknowthatthedoctorisdoinghisbesttocureus，andthathecanjudgeofourcasebetterthanwecan；butweshouldconcealallillnessifweweretreatedastheErewhoniansarewhentheyhaveanythingthematterwiththem；weshoulddothesameaswithmoralandintellectualdiseases，——weshouldfeignhealthwiththemostconsummateart，tillwewerefoundout，andshouldhateasingleflogginggiveninthewayofmerepunishmentmorethantheamputationofalimb，ifitwerekindlyandcourteouslyperformedfromawishtohelpusoutofourdifficulty，andwiththefullconsciousnessonthepartofthedoctorthatitwasonlybyanaccidentofconstitutionthathewasnotinthelikeplighthimself。SotheErewhonianstakeafloggingonceaweek，andadietofbreadandwaterfortwoorthreemonthstogether，whenevertheirstraightenerrecommendsit。

Idonotsupposethatevenmyhost，onhavingswindledaconfidingwidowoutofthewholeofherproperty，wasputtomoreactualsufferingthanamanwillreadilyundergoatthehandsofanEnglishdoctor。Andyethemusthavehadaverybadtimeofit。

ThesoundsIheardweresufficienttoshowthathispainwasexquisite，buthenevershrankfromundergoingit。Hewasquitesurethatitdidhimgood；andIthinkhewasright。Icannotbelievethatthatmanwilleverembezzlemoneyagain。Hemay——butitwillbealongtimebeforehedoesso。

Duringmyconfinementinprison，andonmyjourney，Ihadalreadydiscoveredagreatdealoftheabove；butitstillseemedsurpassinglystrange，andIwasinconstantfearofcommittingsomepieceofrudeness，throughmyinabilitytolookatthingsfromthesamestand-pointasmyneighbours；butafterafewweeks’staywiththeNosnibors，Igottounderstandthingsbetter，especiallyonhavingheardallaboutmyhost’sillness，ofwhichhetoldmefullyandrepeatedly。

ItseemedthathehadbeenontheStockExchangeofthecityformanyyearsandhadamassedenormouswealth，withoutexceedingthelimitsofwhatwasgenerallyconsideredjustifiable，oratanyrate，permissibledealing；butatlengthonseveraloccasionshehadbecomeawareofadesiretomakemoneybyfraudulentrepresentations，andhadactuallydealtwithtwoorthreesumsinawaywhichhadmadehimratheruncomfortable。Hehadunfortunatelymadelightofitandpooh-poohedtheailment，untilcircumstanceseventuallypresentedthemselveswhichenabledhimtocheatuponaveryconsiderablescale；——hetoldmewhattheywere，andtheywereaboutasbadasanythingcouldbe，butIneednotdetailthem；——heseizedtheopportunity，andbecameaware，whenitwastoolate，thathemustbeseriouslyoutoforder。Hehadneglectedhimselftoolong。

Hedrovehomeatonce，brokethenewstohiswifeanddaughtersasgentlyashecould，andsentoffforoneofthemostcelebratedstraightenersofthekingdomtoaconsultationwiththefamilypractitioner，forthecasewasplainlyserious。Onthearrivalofthestraightenerhetoldhisstory，andexpressedhisfearthathismoralsmustbepermanentlyimpaired。

Theeminentmanreassuredhimwithafewcheeringwords，andthenproceededtomakeamorecarefuldiagnosisofthecase。HeinquiredconcerningMr。Nosnibor’sparents——hadtheirmoralhealthbeengood？Hewasansweredthattherehadnotbeenanythingseriouslyamisswiththem，butthathismaternalgrandfather，whomhewassupposedtoresemblesomewhatinperson，hadbeenaconsummatescoundrelandhadendedhisdaysinahospital，——whileabrotherofhisfather’s，afterhavingledamostflagitiouslifeformanyyears，hadbeenatlastcuredbyaphilosopherofanewschool，whichasfarasIcouldunderstanditboremuchthesamerelationtotheoldashomoeopathytoallopathy。Thestraightenershookhisheadatthis，andlaughinglyrepliedthatthecuremusthavebeenduetonature。Afterafewmorequestionshewroteaprescriptionanddeparted。

Isawtheprescription。ItorderedafinetotheStateofdoublethemoneyembezzled；nofoodbutbreadandmilkforsixmonths，andaseverefloggingonceamonthfortwelve。Iwassurprisedtoseethatnopartofthefinewastobepaidtothepoorwomanwhosemoneyhadbeenembezzled，butoninquiryIlearnedthatshewouldhavebeenprosecutedintheMisplacedConfidenceCourt，ifshehadnotescapeditsclutchesbydyingshortlyaftershehaddiscoveredherloss。

AsforMr。Nosnibor，hehadreceivedhiseleventhfloggingonthedayofmyarrival。Isawhimlateronthesameafternoon，andhewasstilltwinged；buttherehadbeennoescapefromfollowingoutthestraightener’sprescription，fortheso-calledsanitarylawsofErewhonareveryrigorous，andunlessthestraightenerwassatisfiedthathisordershadbeenobeyed，thepatientwouldhavebeentakentoahospital(asthepoorare)，andwouldhavebeenmuchworseoff。Suchatleastisthelaw，butitisnevernecessarytoenforceit。

OnasubsequentoccasionIwaspresentataninterviewbetweenMr。

Nosniborandthefamilystraightener，whowasconsideredcompetenttowatchthecompletionofthecure。Iwasstruckwiththedelicacywithwhichheavoidedeventheremotestsemblanceofinquiryafterthephysicalwell-beingofhispatient，thoughtherewasacertainyellownessaboutmyhost’seyeswhicharguedabilioushabitofbody。Tohavetakennoticeofthiswouldhavebeenagrossbreachofprofessionaletiquette。Iwastold，however，thatastraightenersometimesthinksitrighttoglanceatthepossibilityofsomeslightphysicaldisorderifhefindsitimportantinordertoassisthiminhisdiagnosis；buttheanswerswhichhegetsaregenerallyuntrueorevasive，andheformshisownconclusionsuponthematteraswellashecan。Sensiblemenhavebeenknowntosaythatthestraightenershouldinstrictconfidencebetoldofeveryphysicalailmentthatislikelytobearuponthecase；butpeoplearenaturallyshyofdoingthis，fortheydonotlikeloweringthemselvesintheopinionofthestraightener，andhisignoranceofmedicalscienceissupreme。Iheardofonelady，indeed，whohadthehardihoodtoconfessthatafuriousoutbreakofill-humourandextravagantfanciesforwhichshewasseekingadvicewaspossiblytheresultofindisposition。“Youshouldresistthat。”saidthestraightener，inakind，butgravevoice；“wecandonothingforthebodiesofourpatients；suchmattersarebeyondourprovince，andIdesirethatImayhearnofurtherparticulars。”

Theladyburstintotears，andpromisedfaithfullythatshewouldneverbeunwellagain。

ButtoreturntoMr。Nosnibor。Astheafternoonworeonmanycarriagesdroveupwithcallerstoinquirehowhehadstoodhisflogging。Ithadbeenverysevere，butthekindinquiriesuponeverysidegavehimgreatpleasure，andheassuredmethathefeltalmosttemptedtodowrongagainbythesolicitudewithwhichhisfriendshadtreatedhimduringhisrecovery：inthisIneedhardlysaythathewasnotserious。

DuringtheremainderofmystayinthecountryMr。Nosniborwasconstantlyattentivetohisbusiness，andlargelyincreasedhisalreadygreatpossessions；butIneverheardawhispertotheeffectofhishavingbeenindisposedasecondtime，ormademoneybyotherthanthemoststrictlyhonourablemeans。Ididhearafterwardsinconfidencethattherehadbeenreasontobelievethathishealthhadbeennotalittleaffectedbythestraightener’streatment，buthisfriendsdidnotchoosetobeover-curiousuponthesubject，andonhisreturntohisaffairsitwasbycommonconsentpassedoverashardlycriminalinonewhowasotherwisesomuchafflicted。Fortheyregardbodilyailmentsasthemorevenialinproportionastheyhavebeenproducedbycausesindependentoftheconstitution。Thusifapersonruinhishealthbyexcessiveindulgenceatthetableorbydrinking，theycountittobealmostapartofthementaldiseasewhichbroughtitabout，andsoitgoesforlittle，buttheyhavenomercyonsuchillnessesasfeversorcatarrhsorlungdiseases，whichtousappeartobebeyondthecontroloftheindividual。Theyareonlymorelenienttowardsthediseasesoftheyoung——suchasmeasles，whichtheythinktobelikesowingone’swildoats——andlookoverthemaspardonableindiscretionsiftheyhavenotbeentooserious，andiftheyareatonedforbycompletesubsequentrecovery。

Itishardlynecessarytosaythattheofficeofstraightenerisonewhichrequireslongandspecialtraining。Itstandstoreasonthathewhowouldcureamoralailmentmustbepracticallyacquaintedwithitinallitsbearings。Thestudentfortheprofessionofstraightenerisrequiredtosetapartcertainseasonsforthepracticeofeachviceinturn，asareligiousduty。Theseseasonsarecalled“fasts。”andarecontinuedbythestudentuntilhefindsthathereallycansubdueallthemoreusualvicesinhisownperson，andhencecanadvisehispatientsfromtheresultsofhisownexperience。

Thosewhointendtobespecialists，ratherthangeneralpractitioners，devotethemselvesmoreparticularlytothebranchinwhichtheirpracticewillmainlylie。Somestudentshavebeenobligedtocontinuetheirexercisesduringtheirwholelives，andsomedevotedmenhaveactuallydiedasmartyrstothedrink，orgluttony，orwhateverbranchofvicetheymayhavechosenfortheirespecialstudy。Thegreaternumber，however，takenoharmbytheexcursionsintothevariousdepartmentsofvicewhichitisincumbentuponthemtostudy。

FortheErewhoniansholdthatunalloyedvirtueisnotathingtobeimmoderatelyindulgedin。Iwasshownmorethanonecaseinwhichtherealorsupposedvirtuesofparentswerevisiteduponthechildrentothethirdandfourthgeneration。Thestraightenerssaythatthemostthatcanbetrulysaidforvirtueisthatthereisaconsiderablebalanceinitsfavour，andthatitisonthewholeagooddealbettertobeonitssidethanagainstit；buttheyurgethatthereismuchpseudo-virtuegoingabout，whichisapttoletpeopleinverybadlybeforetheyfinditout。Thosemen，theysay，arebestwhoarenotremarkableeitherforviceorvirtue。ItoldthemaboutHogarth’sidleandindustriousapprentices，buttheydidnotseemtothinkthattheindustriousapprenticewasaveryniceperson。

CHAPTERXI：SOMEEREWHONIANTRIALS

InErewhonasinothercountriestherearesomecourtsofjusticethatdealwithspecialsubjects。Misfortunegenerally，asIhaveaboveexplained，isconsideredmoreorlesscriminal，butitadmitsofclassification，andacourtisassignedtoeachofthemainheadsunderwhichitcanbesupposedtofall。NotverylongafterIhadreachedthecapitalIstrolledintothePersonalBereavementCourt，andwasmuchbothinterestedandpainedbylisteningtothetrialofamanwhowasaccusedofhavingjustlostawifetowhomhehadbeentenderlyattached，andwhohadlefthimwiththreelittlechildren，ofwhomtheeldestwasonlythreeyearsold。

Thedefencewhichtheprisoner’scounselendeavouredtoestablishwas，thattheprisonerhadneverreallylovedhiswife；butitbrokedowncompletely，forthepublicprosecutorcalledwitnessafterwitnesswhodeposedtothefactthatthecouplehadbeendevotedtooneanother，andtheprisonerrepeatedlyweptasincidentswereputinevidencethatremindedhimoftheirreparablenatureofthelosshehadsustained。Thejuryreturnedaverdictofguiltyafterverylittledeliberation，butrecommendedtheprisonertomercyonthegroundthathehadbutrecentlyinsuredhiswife’slifeforaconsiderablesum，andmightbedeemedluckyinasmuchashehadreceivedthemoneywithoutdemurfromtheinsurancecompany，thoughhehadonlypaidtwopremiums。

Ihavejustsaidthatthejuryfoundtheprisonerguilty。Whenthejudgepassedsentence，Iwasstruckwiththewayinwhichtheprisoner’scounselwasrebukedforhavingreferredtoaworkinwhichtheguiltofsuchmisfortunesastheprisoner’swasextenuatedtoadegreethatrousedtheindignationofthecourt。

“Weshallhave。”saidthejudge，“thesecrudeandsubversionarybooksfromtimetotimeuntilitisrecognisedasanaxiomofmoralitythatluckistheonlyfitobjectofhumanveneration。Howfaramanhasanyrighttobemoreluckyandhencemorevenerablethanhisneighbours，isapointthatalwayshasbeen，andalwayswillbe，settledproximatelybyakindofhigglingandhagglingofthemarket，andultimatelybybruteforce；buthoweverthismaybe，itstandstoreasonthatnomanshouldbeallowedtobeunluckytomorethanaverymoderateextent。”

Then，turningtotheprisoner，thejudgecontinued：-“Youhavesufferedagreatloss。Natureattachesaseverepenaltytosuchoffences，andhumanlawmustemphasisethedecreesofnature。ButfortherecommendationofthejuryIshouldhavegivenyousixmonths’hardlabour。Iwill，however，commuteyoursentencetooneofthreemonths，withtheoptionofafineoftwenty-fivepercent。

ofthemoneyyouhavereceivedfromtheinsurancecompany。”

Theprisonerthankedthejudge，andsaidthatashehadnoonetolookafterhischildrenifhewassenttoprison，hewouldembracetheoptionmercifullypermittedhimbyhislordship，andpaythesumhehadnamed。Hewasthenremovedfromthedock。

Thenextcasewasthatofayouthbarelyarrivedatman’sestate，whowaschargedwithhavingbeenswindledoutoflargepropertyduringhisminoritybyhisguardian，whowasalsooneofhisnearestrelations。Hisfatherhadbeenlongdead，anditwasforthisreasonthathisoffencecameonfortrialinthePersonalBereavementCourt。Thelad，whowasundefended，pleadedthathewasyoung，inexperienced，greatlyinaweofhisguardian，andwithoutindependentprofessionaladvice。“Youngman。”saidthejudgesternly，“donottalknonsense。Peoplehavenorighttobeyoung，inexperienced，greatlyinaweoftheirguardians，andwithoutindependentprofessionaladvice。Ifbysuchindiscretionstheyoutragethemoralsenseoftheirfriends，theymustexpecttosufferaccordingly。”Hethenorderedtheprisonertoapologisetohisguardian，andtoreceivetwelvestrokeswithacat-of-nine-

tails。

ButIshallperhapsbestconveytothereaderanideaoftheentireperversionofthoughtwhichexistsamongthisextraordinarypeople，bydescribingthepublictrialofamanwhowasaccusedofpulmonaryconsumption——anoffencewhichwaspunishedwithdeathuntilquiterecently。ItdidnotoccurtillIhadbeensomemonthsinthecountry，andIamdeviatingfromchronologicalorderingivingithere；butIhadperhapsbetterdosoinorderthatImayexhaustthissubjectbeforeproceedingtoothers。MoreoverI

shouldnevercometoanendwereItokeeptoastrictlynarrativeform，anddetailtheinfiniteabsurditieswithwhichIdailycameincontact。

Theprisonerwasplacedinthedock，andthejurywereswornmuchasinEurope；almostallourownmodesofprocedurewerereproduced，eventotherequiringtheprisonertopleadguiltyornotguilty。Hepleadednotguilty，andthecaseproceeded。Theevidencefortheprosecutionwasverystrong；butImustdothecourtthejusticetoobservethatthetrialwasabsolutelyimpartial。Counselfortheprisonerwasallowedtourgeeverythingthatcouldbesaidinhisdefence：thelinetakenwasthattheprisonerwassimulatingconsumptioninordertodefraudaninsurancecompany，fromwhichhewasabouttobuyanannuity，andthathehopedthustoobtainitonmoreadvantageousterms。Ifthiscouldhavebeenshowntobethecasehewouldhaveescapedacriminalprosecution，andbeensenttoahospitalasforamoralailment。Theview，however，wasonewhichcouldnotbereasonablysustained，inspiteofalltheingenuityandeloquenceofoneofthemostcelebratedadvocatesofthecountry。Thecasewasonlytooclear，fortheprisonerwasalmostatthepointofdeath，anditwasastonishingthathehadnotbeentriedandconvictedlongpreviously。Hiscoughingwasincessantduringthewholetrial，anditwasallthatthetwojailorsinchargeofhimcoulddotokeephimonhislegsuntilitwasover。

Thesummingupofthejudgewasadmirable。Hedweltuponeverypointthatcouldbeconstruedinfavouroftheprisoner，butasheproceededitbecameclearthattheevidencewastooconvincingtoadmitofdoubt，andtherewasbutoneopinioninthecourtastotheimpendingverdictwhenthejuryretiredfromthebox。Theywereabsentforabouttenminutes，andontheirreturntheforemanpronouncedtheprisonerguilty。Therewasafaintmurmurofapplause，butitwasinstantlyrepressed。ThejudgethenproceededtopronouncesentenceinwordswhichIcanneverforget，andwhichIcopiedoutintoanote-booknextdayfromthereportthatwaspublishedintheleadingnewspaper。Imustcondenseitsomewhat，andnothingwhichIcouldsaywouldgivemorethanafaintideaofthesolemn，nottosaymajestic，severitywithwhichitwasdelivered。Thesentencewasasfollows：-

“Prisoneratthebar，youhavebeenaccusedofthegreatcrimeoflabouringunderpulmonaryconsumption，andafteranimpartialtrialbeforeajuryofyourcountrymen，youhavebeenfoundguilty。

AgainstthejusticeoftheverdictIcansaynothing：theevidenceagainstyouwasconclusive，anditonlyremainsformetopasssuchasentenceuponyou，asshallsatisfytheendsofthelaw。Thatsentencemustbeaverysevereone。Itpainsmemuchtoseeonewhoisyetsoyoung，andwhoseprospectsinlifewereotherwisesoexcellent，broughttothisdistressingconditionbyaconstitutionwhichIcanonlyregardasradicallyvicious；butyoursisnocaseforcompassion：thisisnotyourfirstoffence：youhaveledacareerofcrime，andhaveonlyprofitedbytheleniencyshownyouuponpastoccasions，tooffendyetmoreseriouslyagainstthelawsandinstitutionsofyourcountry。Youwereconvictedofaggravatedbronchitislastyear：andIfindthatthoughyouarenowonlytwenty-threeyearsold，youhavebeenimprisonedonnolessthanfourteenoccasionsforillnessesofamoreorlesshatefulcharacter；infact，itisnottoomuchtosaythatyouhavespentthegreaterpartofyourlifeinajail。

“Itisallverywellforyoutosaythatyoucameofunhealthyparents，andhadasevereaccidentinyourchildhoodwhichpermanentlyunderminedyourconstitution；excusessuchasthesearetheordinaryrefugeofthecriminal；buttheycannotforonemomentbelistenedtobytheearofjustice。Iamnotheretoenteruponcuriousmetaphysicalquestionsastotheoriginofthisorthat——

questionstowhichtherewouldbenoendweretheirintroductiononcetolerated，andwhichwouldresultinthrowingtheonlyguiltonthetissuesoftheprimordialcell，orontheelementarygases。

Thereisnoquestionofhowyoucametobewicked，butonlythis——

namely，areyouwickedornot？Thishasbeendecidedintheaffirmative，neithercanIhesitateforasinglemomenttosaythatithasbeendecidedjustly。Youareabadanddangerousperson，andstandbrandedintheeyesofyourfellow-countrymenwithoneofthemostheinousknownoffences。

“Itisnotmybusinesstojustifythelaw：thelawmayinsomecaseshaveitsinevitablehardships，andImayfeelregretattimesthatIhavenottheoptionofpassingalessseveresentencethanI

amcompelledtodo。Butyoursisnosuchcase；onthecontrary，hadnotthecapitalpunishmentforconsumptionbeenabolished，I

shouldcertainlyinflictitnow。

“Itisintolerablethatanexampleofsuchterribleenormityshouldbeallowedtogoatlargeunpunished。Yourpresenceinthesocietyofrespectablepeoplewouldleadthelessable-bodiedtothinkmorelightlyofallformsofillness；neithercanitbepermittedthatyoushouldhavethechanceofcorruptingunbornbeingswhomighthereafterpesteryou。Theunbornmustnotbeallowedtocomenearyou：andthisnotsomuchfortheirprotection(fortheyareournaturalenemies)，asforourown；forsincetheywillnotbeutterlygainsaid，itmustbeseentothattheyshallbequartereduponthosewhoareleastlikelytocorruptthem。

“Butindependentlyofthisconsideration，andindependentlyofthephysicalguiltwhichattachesitselftoacrimesogreatasyours，thereisyetanotherreasonwhyweshouldbeunabletoshowyoumercy，evenifwewereinclinedtodoso。Irefertotheexistenceofaclassofmenwholiehiddenamongus，andwhoarecalledphysicians。Weretheseverityofthelaworthecurrentfeelingofthecountrytoberelaxedneversoslightly，theseabandonedpersons，whoarenowcompelledtopractisesecretlyandwhocanbeconsultedonlyatthegreatestrisk，wouldbecomefrequentvisitorsineveryhousehold；theirorganisationandtheirintimateacquaintancewithallfamilysecretswouldgivethemapower，bothsocialandpolitical，whichnothingcouldresist。Theheadofthehouseholdwouldbecomesubordinatetothefamilydoctor，whowouldinterferebetweenmanandwife，betweenmasterandservant，untilthedoctorsshouldbetheonlydepositariesofpowerinthenation，andhaveallthatweholdpreciousattheirmercy。Atimeofuniversaldephysicalisationwouldensue；medicine-vendorsofallkindswouldaboundinourstreetsandadvertiseinallournewspapers。Thereisoneremedyforthis，andoneonly。Itisthatwhichthelawsofthiscountryhavelongreceivedandactedupon，andconsistsinthesternestrepressionofalldiseaseswhatsoever，assoonastheirexistenceismademanifesttotheeyeofthelaw。Wouldthatthateyewerefarmorepiercingthanitis。

“ButIwillenlargenofurtheruponthingsthatarethemselvessoobvious。Youmaysaythatitisnotyourfault。Theanswerisreadyenoughathand，anditamountstothis——thatifyouhadbeenbornofhealthyandwell-to-doparents，andbeenwelltakencareofwhenyouwereachild，youwouldneverhaveoffendedagainstthelawsofyourcountry，norfoundyourselfinyourpresentdisgracefulposition。Ifyoutellmethatyouhadnohandinyourparentageandeducation，andthatitisthereforeunjusttolaythesethingstoyourcharge，Ianswerthatwhetheryourbeinginaconsumptionisyourfaultorno，itisafaultinyou，anditismydutytoseethatagainstsuchfaultsasthisthecommonwealthshallbeprotected。Youmaysaythatitisyourmisfortunetobecriminal；Ianswerthatitisyourcrimetobeunfortunate。

“Lastly，Ishouldpointoutthateventhoughthejuryhadacquittedyou——asuppositionthatIcannotseriouslyentertain——IshouldhavefeltitmydutytoinflictasentencehardlylessseverethanthatwhichImustpassatpresent；forthemoreyouhadbeenfoundguiltlessofthecrimeimputedtoyou，themoreyouwouldhavebeenfoundguiltyofonehardlylessheinous——Imeanthecrimeofhavingbeenmalignedunjustly。

“Idonothesitatethereforetosentenceyoutoimprisonment，withhardlabour，fortherestofyourmiserableexistence。DuringthatperiodIwouldearnestlyentreatyoutorepentofthewrongsyouhavedonealready，andtoentirelyreformtheconstitutionofyourwholebody。Ientertainbutlittlehopethatyouwillpayattentiontomyadvice；youarealreadyfartooabandoned。Diditrestwithmyself，IshouldaddnothinginmitigationofthesentencewhichIhavepassed，butitisthemercifulprovisionofthelawthateventhemosthardenedcriminalshallbeallowedsomeoneofthethreeofficialremedies，whichistobeprescribedatthetimeofhisconviction。Ishallthereforeorderthatyoureceivetwotablespoonfulsofcastoroildaily，untilthepleasureofthecourtbefurtherknown。”

Whenthesentencewasconcludedtheprisoneracknowledgedinafewscarcelyaudiblewordsthathewasjustlypunished，andthathehadhadafairtrial。Hewasthenremovedtotheprisonfromwhichhewasnevertoreturn。Therewasasecondattemptatapplausewhenthejudgehadfinishedspeaking，butasbeforeitwasatoncerepressed；andthoughthefeelingofthecourtwasstronglyagainsttheprisoner，therewasnoshowofanyviolenceagainsthim，ifonemayexceptalittlehootingfromthebystanderswhenhewasbeingremovedintheprisoners’van。Indeed，nothingstruckmemoreduringmywholesojourninthecountry，thanthegeneralrespectforlawandorder。

CHAPTERXII：MALCONTENTS

IconfessthatIfeltratherunhappywhenIgothome，andthoughtmorecloselyoverthetrialthatIhadjustwitnessed。ForthetimeIwascarriedawaybytheopinionofthoseamongwhomIwas。

Theyhadnomisgivingsaboutwhattheyweredoing。Theredidnotseemtobeapersoninthewholecourtwhohadthesmallestdoubtbutthatallwasexactlyasitshouldbe。Thisuniversalunsuspectingconfidencewasimpartedbysympathytomyself，inspiteofallmytraininginopinionssowidelydifferent。Soitiswithmostofus：thatwhichweobservetobetakenasamatterofcoursebythosearoundus，wetakeasamatterofcourseourselves。

Andafterall，itisourdutytodothis，saveupongraveoccasion。

ButwhenIwasalone，andbegantothinkthetrialover，itcertainlydidstrikemeasbetrayingastrangeanduntenableposition。Hadthejudgesaidthatheacknowledgedtheprobabletruth，namely，thattheprisonerwasbornofunhealthyparents，orhadbeenstarvedininfancy，orhadmetwithsomeaccidentswhichhaddevelopedconsumption；andhadhethengoneontosaythatthoughheknewallthis，andbitterlyregrettedthattheprotectionofsocietyobligedhimtoinflictadditionalpainononewhohadsufferedsomuchalready，yetthattherewasnohelpforit，I

couldhaveunderstoodtheposition，howevermistakenImighthavethoughtit。Thejudgewasfullypersuadedthattheinflictionofpainupontheweakandsicklywastheonlymeansofpreventingweaknessandsicklinessfromspreading，andthattentimesthesufferingnowinflictedupontheaccusedwaseventuallywardedofffromothersbythepresentapparentseverity。IcouldthereforeperfectlyunderstandhisinflictingwhateverpainhemightconsidernecessaryinordertopreventsobadanexamplefromspreadingfurtherandloweringtheErewhonianstandard；butitseemedalmostchildishtotelltheprisonerthathecouldhavebeeningoodhealth，ifhehadbeenmorefortunateinhisconstitution，andbeenexposedtolesshardshipswhenhewasaboy。

Iwritewithgreatdiffidence，butitseemstomethatthereisnounfairnessinpunishingpeoplefortheirmisfortunes，orrewardingthemfortheirsheergoodluck：itisthenormalconditionofhumanlifethatthisshouldbedone，andnoright-mindedpersonwillcomplainofbeingsubjectedtothecommontreatment。Thereisnoalternativeopentous。Itisidletosaythatmenarenotresponsiblefortheirmisfortunes。Whatisresponsibility？Surelytoberesponsiblemeanstobeliabletohavetogiveananswershoulditbedemanded，andallthingswhichliveareresponsiblefortheirlivesandactionsshouldsocietyseefittoquestionthemthroughthemouthofitsauthorisedagent。

Whatistheoffenceofalambthatweshouldrearit，andtendit，andlullitintosecurity，fortheexpresspurposeofkillingit？

Itsoffenceisthemisfortuneofbeingsomethingwhichsocietywantstoeat，andwhichcannotdefenditself。Thisisample。Whoshalllimittherightofsocietyexceptsocietyitself？Andwhatconsiderationfortheindividualistolerableunlesssocietybethegainerthereby？Whereforeshouldamanbesorichlyrewardedforhavingbeensontoamillionaire，wereitnotclearlyprovablethatthecommonwelfareisthusbetterfurthered？Wecannotseriouslydetractfromaman’smeritinhavingbeenthesonofarichfatherwithoutimperillingourowntenureofthingswhichwedonotwishtojeopardise；ifthiswereotherwiseweshouldnotlethimkeephismoneyforasinglehour；wewouldhaveitourselvesatonce。

Forpropertyisrobbery，butthen，weareallrobbersorwould-berobberstogether，andhavefounditessentialtoorganiseourthieving，aswehavefounditnecessarytoorganiseourlustandourrevenge。Property，marriage，thelaw；asthebedtotheriver，soruleandconventiontotheinstinct；andwoetohimwhotamperswiththebankswhilethefloodisflowing。

Buttoreturn。EveninEnglandamanonboardashipwithyellowfeverisheldresponsibleforhismischance，nomatterwhathisbeingkeptinquarantinemaycosthim。Hemaycatchthefeveranddie；wecannothelpit；hemusttakehischanceasotherpeopledo；

butsurelyitwouldbedesperateunkindnesstoaddcontumelytoourself-protection，unless，indeed，webelievethatcontumelyisoneofourbestmeansofself-protection。Again，takethecaseofmaniacs。Wesaythattheyareirresponsiblefortheiractions，butwetakegoodcare，oroughttotakegoodcare，thattheyshallanswertousfortheirinsanity，andweimprisontheminwhatwecallanasylum(thatmodernsanctuary！)ifwedonotliketheiranswers。Thisisastrangekindofirresponsibility。Whatweoughttosayisthatwecanaffordtobesatisfiedwithalesssatisfactoryanswerfromalunaticthanfromonewhoisnotmad，becauselunacyislessinfectiousthancrime。

Wekillaserpentifwegoindangerbyit，simplyforbeingsuchandsuchaserpentinsuchandsuchaplace；butweneversaythattheserpenthasonlyitselftoblamefornothavingbeenaharmlesscreature。Itscrimeisthatofbeingthethingwhichitis：butthisisacapitaloffence，andwearerightinkillingitoutoftheway，unlesswethinkitmoredangertodosothantoletitescape；neverthelesswepitythecreature，eventhoughwekillit。

ButinthecaseofhimwhosetrialIhavedescribedabove，itwasimpossiblethatanyoneinthecourtshouldnothaveknownthatitwasbutbyanaccidentofbirthandcircumstancesthathewasnothimselfalsoinaconsumption；andyetnonethoughtthatitdisgracedthemtohearthejudgegiveventtothemostcrueltruismsabouthim。Thejudgehimselfwasakindandthoughtfulperson。Hewasamanofmagnificentandbenignpresence。Hewasevidentlyofanironconstitution，andhisfaceworeanexpressionofthematurestwisdomandexperience；yetforallthis，oldandlearnedashewas，hecouldnotseethingswhichonewouldhavethoughtwouldhavebeenapparenteventoachild。Hecouldnotemancipatehimselffrom，nay，itdidnotevenoccurtohimtofeel，thebondageoftheideasinwhichhehadbeenbornandbred。

Sowasitalsowiththejuryandbystanders；and——mostwonderfulofall——sowasitevenwiththeprisoner。Throughoutheseemedfullyimpressedwiththenotionthathewasbeingdealtwithjustly：hesawnothingwantoninhisbeingtoldbythejudgethathewastobepunished，notsomuchasanecessaryprotectiontosociety(althoughthiswasnotentirelylostsightof)，asbecausehehadnotbeenbetterbornandbredthanhewas。ButthisledmetohopethathesufferedlessthanhewouldhavedoneifhehadseenthematterinthesamelightthatIdid。And，afterall，justiceisrelative。

Imayherementionthatonlyafewyearsbeforemyarrivalinthecountry，thetreatmentofallconvictedinvalidshadbeenmuchmorebarbarousthannow，fornophysicalremedywasprovided，andprisonerswereputtotheseverestlabourinallsortsofweather，sothatmostofthemsoonsuccumbedtotheextremehardshipswhichtheysuffered；thiswassupposedtobebeneficialinsomeways，inasmuchasitputthecountrytolessexpenseforthemaintenanceofitscriminalclass；butthegrowthofluxuryhadinducedarelaxationoftheoldseverity，andasensitiveagewouldnolongertoleratewhatappearedtobeanexcessofrigour，eventowardsthemostguilty；moreover，itwasfoundthatjurieswerelesswillingtoconvict，andjusticewasoftencheatedbecausetherewasnoalternativebetweenvirtuallycondemningamantodeathandlettinghimgofree；itwasalsoheldthatthecountrypaidinrecommittalsforitsover-severity；forthosewhohadbeenimprisonedevenfortriflingailmentswereoftenpermanentlydisabledbytheirimprisonment；andwhenamanhadbeenonceconvicted，itwasprobablethathewouldseldomafterwardsbeoffthehandsofthecountry。

Theseevilshadlongbeenapparentandrecognised；yetpeopleweretooindolent，andtooindifferenttosufferingnottheirown，tobestirthemselvesaboutputtinganendtothem，untilatlastabenevolentreformerdevotedhiswholelifetoeffectingthenecessarychanges。Hedividedallillnessesintothreeclasses——

thoseaffectingthehead，thetrunk，andthelowerlimbs——andobtainedanenactmentthatalldiseasesofthehead，whetherinternalorexternal，shouldbetreatedwithlaudanum，thoseofthebodywithcastor-oil，andthoseofthelowerlimbswithanembrocationofstrongsulphuricacidandwater。

Itmaybesaidthattheclassificationwasnotsufficientlycareful，andthattheremedieswereillchosen；butitisahardthingtoinitiateanyreform，anditwasnecessarytofamiliarisethepublicmindwiththeprinciple，byinsertingthethinendofthewedgefirst：itisnot，therefore，tobewonderedatthatamongsopracticalapeoplethereshouldstillbesomeroomforimprovement。Themassofthenationarewellpleasedwithexistingarrangements，andbelievethattheirtreatmentofcriminalsleaveslittleornothingtobedesired；butthereisanenergeticminoritywhoholdwhatareconsideredtobeextremeopinions，andwhoarenotatalldisposedtorestcontenteduntiltheprinciplelatelyadmittedhasbeencarriedfurther。

Iwasatsomepainstodiscovertheopinionsofthesemen，andtheirreasonsforentertainingthem。Theyareheldingreatodiumbythegeneralityofthepublic，andareconsideredassubvertersofallmoralitywhatever。Themalcontents，ontheotherhand，assertthatillnessistheinevitableresultofcertainantecedentcauses，which，inthegreatmajorityofcases，werebeyondthecontroloftheindividual，andthatthereforeamanisonlyguiltyforbeinginaconsumptioninthesamewayasrottenfruitisguiltyforhavinggonerotten。True，thefruitmustbethrownononesideasunfitforman’suse，andthemaninaconsumptionmustbeputinprisonfortheprotectionofhisfellow-citizens；buttheseradicalswouldnotpunishhimfurtherthanbylossoflibertyandastrictsurveillance。Solongashewaspreventedfrominjuringsociety，theywouldallowhimtomakehimselfusefulbysupplyingwhateverofsociety’swantshecouldsupply。Ifhesucceededinthusearningmoney，theywouldhavehimmadeascomfortableinprisonaspossible，andwouldinnowayinterferewithhislibertymorethanwasnecessarytopreventhimfromescaping，orfrombecomingmoreseverelyindisposedwithintheprisonwalls；buttheywoulddeductfromhisearningstheexpensesofhisboard，lodging，surveillance，andhalfthoseofhisconviction。Ifhewastooilltodoanythingforhissupportinprison，theywouldallowhimnothingbutbreadandwater，andverylittleofthat。

Theysaythatsocietyisfoolishinrefusingtoallowitselftobebenefitedbyamanmerelybecausehehasdoneitharmhitherto，andthatobjectiontothelabourofthediseasedclassesisonlyprotectioninanotherform。Itisanattempttoraisethenaturalpriceofacommoditybysayingthatsuchandsuchpersons，whoareableandwillingtoproduceit，shallnotdoso，wherebyeveryonehastopaymoreforit。

Besides，solongasamanhasnotbeenactuallykilledheisourfellow-creature，thoughperhapsaveryunpleasantone。Itisinagreatdegreethedoingofothersthatheiswhatheis，orinotherwords，thesocietywhichnowcondemnshimispartlyanswerableconcerninghim。Theysaythatthereisnofearofanyincreaseofdiseaseunderthesecircumstances；forthelossofliberty，thesurveillance，theconsiderableandcompulsorydeductionfromtheprisoner’searnings，theverysparinguseofstimulants(ofwhichtheywouldallowbutlittletoany，andnonetothosewhodidnotearnthem)，theenforcedcelibacy，andaboveall，thelossofreputationamongfriends，areintheiropinionasamplesafeguardstosocietyagainstageneralneglectofhealthasthosenowresortedto。Aman，therefore，(sotheysay)shouldcarryhisprofessionortradeintoprisonwithhimifpossible；ifnot，hemustearnhislivingbythenearestthingtoitthathecan；butifhebeagentlemanbornandbredtonoprofession，hemustpickoakum，orwriteartcriticismsforanewspaper。

Thesepeoplesayfurther，thatthegreaterpartoftheillnesswhichexistsintheircountryisbroughtaboutbytheinsanemannerinwhichitistreated。

Theybelievethatillnessisinmanycasesjustascurableasthemoraldiseaseswhichtheyseedailycuredaroundthem，butthatagreatreformisimpossibletillmenlearntotakeajusterviewofwhatphysicalobliquityproceedsfrom。Menwillhidetheirillnessesaslongastheyarescoutedonitsbecomingknownthattheyareill；itisthescouting，notthephysic，whichproducestheconcealment；andifamanfeltthatthenewsofhisbeinginill-healthwouldbereceivedbyhisneighboursasadeplorablefact，butoneasmuchtheresultofnecessaryantecedentcausesasthoughhehadbrokenintoajeweller’sshopandstolenavaluablediamondnecklace——asafactwhichmightjustaseasilyhavehappenedtothemselves，onlythattheyhadthelucktobebetterbornorreared；andiftheyalsofeltthattheywouldnotbemademoreuncomfortableintheprisonthantheprotectionofsocietyagainstinfectionandthepropertreatmentoftheirowndiseaseactuallydemanded，menwouldgivethemselvesuptothepoliceasreadilyonperceivingthattheyhadtakensmall-pox，astheygonowtothestraightenerwhentheyfeelthattheyareonthepointofforgingawill，orrunningawaywithsomebodyelse’swife。

Butthemainargumentonwhichtheyrelyisthatofeconomy：fortheyknowthattheywillsoonergaintheirendbyappealingtomen’spockets，inwhichtheyhavegenerallysomethingoftheirown，thantotheirheads，whichcontainforthemostpartlittlebutborrowedorstolenproperty；andalso，theybelieveittobethereadiesttestandtheonewhichhasmosttoshowforitself。Ifacourseofconductcanbeshowntocostacountryless，andthisbynodishonourablesavingandwithnoindirectlyincreasedexpenditureinotherways，theyholdthatitrequiresagooddealtoupsettheargumentsinfavourofitsbeingadopted，andwhetherrightlyorwronglyIcannotpretendtosay，theythinkthatthemoremedicinalandhumanetreatmentofthediseasedofwhichtheyaretheadvocateswouldinthelongrunbemuchcheapertothecountry：butIdidnotgatherthatthesereformerswereopposedtomeetingsomeofthemoreviolentformsofillnesswiththecat-of-

nine-tails，orwithdeath；fortheysawnosoeffectualwayofcheckingthem；theywouldthereforebothflogandhang，buttheywoulddosopitifully。

Ihaveperhapsdwelttoolonguponopinionswhichcanhavenopossiblebearinguponourown，butIhavenotsaidthetenthpartofwhatthesewould-bereformersurgeduponme。Ifeel，however，thatIhavesufficientlytrespassedupontheattentionofthereader。

CHAPTERXIII：THEVIEWSOFTHEEREWHONIANSCONCERNINGDEATH

TheErewhoniansregarddeathwithlessabhorrencethandisease。Ifitisanoffenceatall，itisonebeyondthereachofthelaw，whichisthereforesilentonthesubject；buttheyinsistthatthegreaternumberofthosewhoarecommonlysaidtodie，haveneveryetbeenborn——not，atleast，intothatunseenworldwhichisaloneworthyofconsideration。AsregardsthisunseenworldIunderstandthemtosaythatsomemiscarryinrespecttoitbeforetheyhaveevenreachedtheseen，andsomeafter，whilefewareevertrulybornintoitatall——thegreaterpartofallthemenandwomenoverthewholecountrymiscarryingbeforetheyreachit。Andtheysaythatthisdoesnotmattersomuchaswethinkitdoes。

Asforwhatwecalldeath，theyarguethattoomuchhasbeenmadeofit。Themereknowledgethatweshallonedaydiedoesnotmakeusveryunhappy；noonethinksthatheorshewillescape，sothatnonearedisappointed。Wedonotcaregreatlyeventhoughweknowthatwehavenotlongtolive；theonlythingthatwouldseriouslyaffectuswouldbetheknowing——orratherthinkingthatweknow——

theprecisemomentatwhichtheblowwillfall。Happilynoonecanevercertainlyknowthis，thoughmanytrytomakethemselvesmiserablebyendeavouringtofinditout。Itseemsasthoughthereweresomepowersomewherewhichmercifullystaysusfromputtingthatstingintothetailofdeath，whichwewouldputthereifwecould，andwhichensuresthatthoughdeathmustalwaysbeabugbear，itshallneverunderanyconceivablecircumstancesbemorethanabugbear。

Foreventhoughamaniscondemnedtodieinaweek’stimeandisshutupinaprisonfromwhichitiscertainthathecannotescape，hewillalwayshopethatareprievemaycomebeforetheweekisover。Besides，theprisonmaycatchfire，andhemaybesuffocatednotwitharope，butwithcommonordinarysmoke；orhemaybestruckdeadbylightningwhileexercisingintheprisonyards。

Whenthemorningiscomeonwhichthepoorwretchistobehanged，hemaychokeathisbreakfast，ordiefromfailureoftheheart’sactionbeforethedrophasfallen；andeventhoughithasfallen，hecannotbequitecertainthatheisgoingtodie，forhecannotknowthistillhisdeathhasactuallytakenplace，anditwillbetoolatethenforhimtodiscoverthathewasgoingtodieattheappointedhourafterall。TheErewhonians，therefore，holdthatdeath，likelife，isanaffairofbeingmorefrightenedthanhurt。

Theyburntheirdead，andtheashesarepresentlyscatteredoveranypieceofgroundwhichthedeceasedmayhimselfhavechosen。Nooneispermittedtorefusethishospitalitytothedead：people，therefore，generallychoosesomegardenororchardwhichtheymayhaveknownandbeenfondofwhentheywereyoung。Thesuperstitiousholdthatthosewhoseashesarescatteredoveranylandbecomeitsjealousguardiansfromthattimeforward；andthelivingliketothinkthattheyshallbecomeidentifiedwiththisorthatlocalitywheretheyhaveoncebeenhappy。

Theydonotputupmonuments，norwriteepitaphs，fortheirdead，thoughinformeragestheirpracticewasmuchasours，buttheyhaveacustomwhichcomestomuchthesamething，fortheinstinctofpreservingthenamealiveafterthedeathofthebodyseemstobecommontoallmankind。Theyhavestatuesofthemselvesmadewhiletheyarestillalive(those，thatis，whocanaffordit)，andwriteinscriptionsunderthem，whichareoftenquiteasuntruthfulasareourownepitaphs——onlyinanotherway。Fortheydonothesitatetodescribethemselvesasvictimstoilltemper，jealousy，covetousness，andthelike，butalmostalwayslayclaimtopersonalbeauty，whethertheyhaveitornot，and，often，tothepossessionofalargesuminthefundeddebtofthecountry。Ifapersonisuglyhedoesnotsitasamodelforhisownstatue，althoughitbearshisname。Hegetsthehandsomestofhisfriendstositforhim，andoneofthewaysofpayingacomplimenttoanotheristoaskhimtositforsuchastatue。Womengenerallysitfortheirownstatues，fromanaturaldisinclinationtoadmitthesuperiorbeautyofafriend，buttheyexpecttobeidealised。Iunderstoodthatthemultitudeofthesestatueswasbeginningtobefeltasanencumbranceinalmosteveryfamily，andthatthecustomwouldprobablybeforelongfallintodesuetude。

Indeed，thishasalreadycomeabouttothesatisfactionofeveryone，asregardsthestatuesofpublicmen——notmorethanthreeofwhichcanbefoundinthewholecapital。Iexpressedmysurpriseatthis，andwastoldthatsomefivehundredyearsbeforemyvisit，thecityhadbeensooverrunwiththesepests，thattherewasnogettingabout，andpeoplewereworriedbeyondendurancebyhavingtheirattentioncalledateverytouchandturntosomething，which，whentheyhadattendedtoit，theyfoundnottoconcernthem。Mostofthesestatuesweremereattemptstodoforsomemanorwomanwhatananimal-stufferdoesmoresuccessfullyforadog，orbird，orpike。Theyweregenerallyfoistedonthepublicbysomecoteriethatwastryingtoexaltitselfinexaltingsomeoneelse，andnotunfrequentlytheyhadnootherinceptionthandesireonthepartofsomememberofthecoterietofindajobforayoungsculptortowhomhisdaughterwasengaged。Statuessobegottencouldneverbeanythingbutdeformities，andthisisthewayinwhichtheyaresuretobebegotten，assoonastheartofmakingthematallhasbecomewidelypractised。

Iknownotwhy，butallthenoblestartsholdinperfectionbutforaverylittlemoment。Theysoonreachaheightfromwhichtheybegintodecline，andwhentheyhavebeguntodeclineitisapitythattheycannotbeknockedonthehead；foranartislikealivingorganism——betterdeadthandying。Thereisnowayofmakinganagedartyoungagain；itmustbebornanewandgrowupfrominfancyasanewthing，workingoutitsownsalvationfromefforttoeffortinallfearandtrembling。

TheErewhoniansfivehundredyearsagounderstoodnothingofallthis——Idoubtwhethertheyevendosonow。Theywantedtogetthenearestthingtheycouldtoastuffedmanwhosestuffingshouldnotgrowmouldy。TheyshouldhavehadsomesuchanestablishmentasourMadameTussaud’s，wherethefigureswearrealclothes，andarepainteduptonature。Suchaninstitutionmighthavebeenmadeself-supporting，forpeoplemighthavebeenmadetopaybeforegoingin。Asitwas，theyhadlettheirpoorcoldgrimycolourlessheroesandheroinesloafaboutinsquaresandincornersofstreetsinallweathers，withoutanyattemptatartisticsanitation——fortherewasnoprovisionforburyingtheirdeadworksofartoutoftheirsight——nodrainage，sotospeak，wherebystatuesthathadbeensufficientlyassimilated，soastoformpartoftheresiduaryimpressionofthecountry，mightbecarriedawayoutofthesystem。

Hencetheyputthemupwithalightheartonthecacklingoftheircoteries，andtheyandtheirchildrenhadtolive，oftenenough，withsomewordywindbagwhosecowardicehadcostthecountryuntoldlossinbloodandmoney。

Atlasttheevilreachedsuchapitchthatthepeoplerose，andwithindiscriminatefurydestroyedgoodandbadalike。Mostofwhatwasdestroyedwasbad，butsomefewworksweregood，andthesculptorsofto-daywringtheirhandsoversomeofthefragmentsthathavebeenpreservedinmuseumsupanddownthecountry。Foracoupleofhundredyearsorso，notastatuewasmadefromoneendofthekingdomtotheother，buttheinstinctforhavingstuffedmenandwomenwassostrong，thatpeopleatlengthagainbegantotrytomakethem。Notknowinghowtomakethem，andhavingnoacademicstomisleadthem，theearliestsculptorsofthisperiodthoughtthingsoutforthemselves，andagainproducedworksthatwerefullofinterest，sothatinthreeorfourgenerationstheyreachedaperfectionhardlyifatallinferiortothatofseveralhundredyearsearlier。

Onthisthesameevilsrecurred。Sculptorsobtainedhighprices——

theartbecameatrade——schoolsarosewhichprofessedtoselltheholyspiritofartformoney；pupilsflockedfromfarandneartobuyit，inthehopesofsellingitlateron，andwerestruckpurblindasapunishmentforthesinofthosewhosentthem。

Beforelongasecondiconoclasticfurywouldinfalliblyhavefollowed，butfortheprescienceofastatesmanwhosucceededinpassinganActtotheeffectthatnostatueofanypublicmanorwomanshouldbeallowedtoremainunbrokenformorethanfiftyyears，unlessattheendofthattimeajuryoftwenty-fourmentakenatrandomfromthestreetpronouncedinfavourofitsbeingallowedasecondfiftyyearsoflife。Everyfiftyyearsthisreconsiderationwastoberepeated，andunlesstherewasamajorityofeighteeninfavouroftheretentionofthestatue，itwastobedestroyed。

Perhapsasimplerplanwouldhavebeentoforbidtheerectionofastatuetoanypublicmanorwomantillheorshehadbeendeadatleastonehundredyears，andeventhentoinsistonreconsiderationoftheclaimsofthedeceasedandthemeritofthestatueeveryfiftyyears——buttheworkingoftheActbroughtaboutresultsthatonthewholeweresatisfactory。Forinthefirstplace，manypublicstatuesthatwouldhavebeenvotedundertheoldsystem，werenotordered，whenitwasknownthattheywouldbealmostcertainlybrokenupafterfiftyyears，andinthesecond，publicsculptorsknowingtheirworktobesoephemeral，scampedittoanextentthatmadeitoffensiveeventothemostunculturedeye。

Hencebeforelongsubscriberstooktopayingthesculptorforthestatueoftheirdeadstatesmen，onconditionthathedidnotmakeit。Thetributeofrespectwasthuspaidtothedeceased，thepublicsculptorswerenotmulcted，andtherestofthepublicsufferednoinconvenience。

Iwastold，however，thatanabuseofthiscustomisgrowingup，inasmuchasthecompetitionforthecommissionnottomakeastatueissokeen，thatsculptorshavebeenknowntoreturnaconsiderablepartofthepurchasemoneytothesubscribers，byanarrangementmadewiththembeforehand。Suchtransactions，however，arealwaysclandestine。Asmallinscriptionisletintothepavement，wherethepublicstatuewouldhavestood，whichinformsthereaderthatsuchastatuehasbeenorderedfortheperson，whoeverheorshemaybe，butthatasyetthesculptorhasnotbeenabletocompleteit。TherehasbeennoActtorepressstatuesthatareintendedforprivateconsumption，butasIhavesaid，thecustomisfallingintodesuetude。

ReturningtoErewhoniancustomsinconnectionwithdeath，thereisonewhichIcanhardlypassover。Whenanyonedies，thefriendsofthefamilywritenolettersofcondolence，neitherdotheyattendthescattering，norwearmourning，buttheysendlittleboxesfilledwithartificialtears，andwiththenameofthesenderpaintedneatlyupontheoutsideofthelid。Thetearsvaryinnumberfromtwotofifteenorsixteen，accordingtodegreeofintimacyorrelationship；andpeoplesometimesfinditanicepointofetiquettetoknowtheexactnumberwhichtheyoughttosend。

Strangeasitmayappear，thisattentionishighlyvalued，anditsomissionbythosefromwhomitmightbeexpectediskeenlyfelt。

Thesetearswereformerlystuckwithadhesiveplastertothecheeksofthebereaved，andwereworninpublicforafewmonthsafterthedeathofarelative；theywerethenbanishedtothehatorbonnet，andarenownolongerworn。

Thebirthofachildislookeduponasapainfulsubjectonwhichitiskindernottotouch：theillnessofthemotheriscarefullyconcealeduntilthenecessityforsigningthebirth-formula(ofwhichhereafter)rendersfurthersecrecyimpossible，andforsomemonthsbeforetheeventthefamilyliveinretirement，seeingverylittlecompany。Whentheoffenceisoveranddonewith，itiscondonedbythecommonwantoflogic；forthismercifulprovisionofnature，thisbufferagainstcollisions，thisfrictionwhichupsetsourcalculationsbutwithoutwhichexistencewouldbeintolerable，thiscrowninggloryofhumaninventionwherebywecanbeblindandseeatoneandthesamemoment，thisblessedinconsistency，existshereaselsewhere；andthoughthestrictestwritersonmoralityhavemaintainedthatitiswickedforawomantohavechildrenatall，inasmuchasitiswrongtobeoutofhealththatgoodmaycome，yetthenecessityofthecasehascausedageneralfeelinginfavourofpassingoversucheventsinsilence，andofassumingtheirnon-existenceexceptinsuchflagrantcasesasforcethemselvesonthepublicnotice。Againstthesethecondemnationofsocietyisinexorable，andifitisbelievedthattheillnesshasbeendangerousandprotracted，itisalmostimpossibleforawomantorecoverherformerpositioninsociety。

Theaboveconventionsstruckmeasarbitraryandcruel，buttheyputastoptomanyfanciedailments；forthesituation，sofarfrombeingconsideredinteresting，islookeduponassavouringmoreorlessdistinctlyofaveryreprehensibleconditionofthings，andtheladiestakecaretoconcealitaslongastheycanevenfromtheirownhusbands，inanticipationofaseverescoldingassoonasthemisdemeanourisdiscovered。Alsothebabyiskeptoutofsight，exceptonthedayofsigningthebirth-formula，untilitcanwalkandtalk。Shouldthechildunhappilydie，acoroner’sinquestisinevitable，butinordertoavoiddisgracingafamilywhichmayhavebeenhithertorespected，itisalmostinvariablyfoundthatthechildwasoverseventy-fiveyearsold，anddiedfromthedecayofnature。

CHAPTERXIV：MAHAINA

IcontinuedmysojournwiththeNosnibors。InafewdaysMr。

Nosniborhadrecoveredfromhisflogging，andwaslookingforwardwithgleetothefactthatthenextwouldbethelast。Ididnotthinkthatthereseemedanyoccasionevenforthis；buthesaiditwasbettertobeonthesafeside，andhewouldmakeupthedozen。

Henowwenttohisbusinessasusual；andIunderstoodthathewasnevermoreprosperous，inspiteofhisheavyfine。Hewasunabletogivememuchofhistimeduringtheday；forhewasoneofthosevaluablemenwhoarepaid，notbytheyear，month，week，orday，butbytheminute。Hiswifeanddaughters，however，mademuchofme，andintroducedmetotheirfriends，whocameinshoalstocalluponme。

OneofthesepersonswasaladycalledMahaina。Zulora(theelderofmyhost’sdaughters)ranuptoherandembracedherassoonassheenteredtheroom，atthesametimeinquiringtenderlyafterher“poordipsomania。”Mahainaansweredthatitwasjustasbadasever；shewasaperfectmartyrtoit，andherexcellenthealthwastheonlythingwhichconsoledherunderheraffliction。

Thentheotherladiesjoinedinwithcondolencesandthenever-

failingsuggestionswhichtheyhadreadyforeverymentalmalady。

TheyrecommendedtheirownstraighteneranddisparagedMahaina’s。

Mrs。Nosniborhadafavouritenostrum，butIcouldcatchlittleofitsnature。Iheardthewords“fullconfidencethatthedesiretodrinkwillceasewhentheformulahasbeenrepeated***thisconfidenceisEVERYTHING***farfromundervaluingathoroughdeterminationnevertotouchspiritsagain***failtoooften**

*formulaaCERTAINCURE(withgreatemphasis)***prescribedform***fullconviction。”Theconversationthenbecamemoreaudible，andwascarriedonatconsiderablelength。Ishouldperplexmyselfandthereaderbyendeavouringtofollowtheingeniousperversityofalltheysaid；enough，thatinthecourseoftimethevisitcametoanend，andMahainatookherleavereceivingaffectionateembracesfromalltheladies。Ihadremainedinthebackgroundafterthefirstceremonyofintroduction，forIdidnotlikethelooksofMahaina，andtheconversationdispleasedme。WhenshelefttheroomIhadsomeconsolationintheremarkscalledforthbyherdeparture。

Atfirsttheyfelltopraisingherverydemurely。Shewasallthisthatandtheother，tillIdislikedhermoreandmoreateveryword，andinquiredhowitwasthatthestraightenershadnotbeenabletocureherastheyhadcuredMr。Nosnibor。

TherewasashadeofsignificanceonMrs。Nosnibor’sfaceasIsaidthis，whichseemedtoimplythatshedidnotconsiderMahaina’scasetobequiteoneforastraightener。Itflashedacrossmethatperhapsthepoorwomandidnotdrinkatall。IknewthatIoughtnottohaveinquired，butIcouldnothelpit，andaskedpointblankwhethershedidornot。

“Wecannoneofusjudgeoftheconditionofotherpeople。”saidMrs。NosniborinagravelycharitabletoneandwithalooktowardsZulora。

“Oh，mamma。”answeredZulora，pretendingtobehalfangrybutrejoicedatbeingabletosayoutwhatshewasalreadylongingtoinsinuate；“Idon’tbelieveawordofit。It’sallindigestion。I

rememberstayinginthehousewithherforawholemonthlastsummer，andIamsuresheneveroncetouchedadropofwineorspirits。Thefactis，Mahainaisaveryweaklygirl，andshepretendstogettipsyinordertowinaforbearancefromherfriendstowhichsheisnotentitled。Sheisnotstrongenoughforhercalisthenicexercises，andsheknowsshewouldbemadetodothemunlessherinabilitywasreferredtomoralcauses。”

Heretheyoungersister，whowaseversweetandkind，remarkedthatshethoughtMahainadidtippleoccasionally。“Ialsothink。”sheadded，“thatshesometimestakespoppyjuice。”

“Well，then，perhapsshedoesdrinksometimes。”saidZulora；“butshewouldmakeusallthinkthatshedoesitmuchoftenerinordertohideherweakness。”

Andsotheywentonforhalfanhourandmore，bandyingaboutthequestionastohowfartheirlatevisitor’sintemperancewasrealorno。Everynowandthentheywouldjoininsomecharitablecommonplace，andwouldpretendtobeallofonemindthatMahainawasapersonwhosebodilyhealthwouldbeexcellentifitwerenotforherunfortunateinabilitytorefrainfromexcessivedrinking；

butassoonasthisappearedtobefairlysettledtheybegantobeuncomfortableuntiltheyhadundonetheirworkandleftsomeseriousimputationuponherconstitution。Atlast，seeingthatthedebatehadassumedthecharacterofacycloneorcircularstorm，goingroundandroundandroundandroundtillonecouldneversaywhereitbegannorwhereitended，Imadesomeapologyforanabruptdepartureandretiredtomyownroom。

HereatleastIwasalone，butIwasveryunhappy。Ihadfallenuponasetofpeoplewho，inspiteoftheirhighcivilisationandmanyexcellences，hadbeensowarpedbythemistakenviewspresentedtothemduringchildhoodfromgenerationtogeneration，thatitwasimpossibletoseehowtheycouldeverclearthemselves。

WastherenothingwhichIcouldsaytomakethemfeelthattheconstitutionofaperson’sbodywasathingoverwhichheorshehadhadatanyratenoinitialcontrolwhatever，whilethemindwasaperfectlydifferentthing，andcapableofbeingcreatedanewanddirectedaccordingtothepleasureofitspossessor？CouldIneverbringthemtoseethatwhilehabitsofmindandcharacterwereentirelyindependentofinitialmentalforceandearlyeducation，thebodywassomuchacreatureofparentageandcircumstances，thatnopunishmentforill-healthshouldbeevertoleratedsaveasaprotectionfromcontagion，andthatevenwherepunishmentwasinevitableitshouldbeattendedwithcompassion？Surely，iftheunfortunateMahainaweretofeelthatshecouldavowherbodilyweaknesswithoutfearofbeingdespisedforherinfirmities，andifthereweremedicalmentowhomshecouldfairlystatehercase，shewouldnothesitateaboutdoingsothroughthefearoftakingnastymedicine。Itwaspossiblethathermaladywasincurable(forIhadheardenoughtoconvincemethatherdipsomaniawasonlyapretenceandthatshewastemperateinallherhabits)；inthatcaseshemightperhapsbejustlysubjecttoannoyancesoreventorestraint；

butwhocouldsaywhethershewascurableornot，untilshewasabletomakeacleanbreastofhersymptomsinsteadofconcealingthem？Intheireagernesstostampoutdisease，thesepeopleovershottheirmark；forpeoplehadbecomesocleveratdissembling——theypaintedtheirfaceswithsuchconsummateskill——

theyrepairedthedecayoftimeandtheeffectsofmischancewithsuchprofounddissimulation——thatitwasreallyimpossibletosaywhetheranyonewaswellorilltillafteranintimateacquaintanceofmonthsoryears。Eventhentheshrewdestwereconstantlymistakenintheirjudgements，andmarriageswereoftencontractedwithmostdeplorableresults，owingtotheartwithwhichinfirmityhadbeenconcealed。

Itappearedtomethatthefirststeptowardsthecureofdiseaseshouldbetheannouncementofthefacttoaperson’snearrelationsandfriends。Ifanyonehadaheadache，heoughttobepermittedwithinreasonablelimitstosaysoatonce，andtoretiretohisownbedroomandtakeapill，withouteveryone’slookinggraveandtearsbeingshedandalltherestofit。Asitwas，evenuponhearingitwhisperedthatsomebodyelsewassubjecttoheadaches，awholecompanymustlookasthoughtheyhadneverhadaheadacheintheirlives。Itistruetheywerenotveryprevalent，forthepeoplewerethehealthiestandmostcomelyimaginable，owingtotheseveritywithwhichillhealthwastreated；still，eventhebestwereliabletobeoutofsortssometimes，andtherewerefewfamiliesthathadnotamedicine-chestinacupboardsomewhere。

CHAPTERXV：THEMUSICALBANKS

Onmyreturntothedrawing-room，IfoundthattheMahainacurrenthadexpendeditself。Theladieswerejustputtingawaytheirworkandpreparingtogoout。Iaskedthemwheretheyweregoing。Theyansweredwithacertainairofreservethattheyweregoingtothebanktogetsomemoney。

NowIhadalreadycollectedthatthemercantileaffairsoftheErewhonianswereconductedonatotallydifferentsystemfromourown；Ihad，however，gatheredlittlehitherto，exceptthattheyhadtwodistinctcommercialsystems，ofwhichtheoneappealedmorestronglytotheimaginationthananythingtowhichweareaccustomedinEurope，inasmuchasthebanksthatwereconducteduponthissystemweredecoratedinthemostprofusefashion，andallmercantiletransactionswereaccompaniedwithmusic，sothattheywerecalledMusicalBanks，thoughthemusicwashideoustoaEuropeanear。

AsforthesystemitselfIneverunderstoodit，neithercanIdosonow：theyhaveacodeinconnectionwithit，whichIhavenottheslightestdoubtthattheyunderstand，butnoforeignercanhopetodoso。Onerulerunsinto，andagainst，anotherasinamostcomplicatedgrammar，orasinChinesepronunciation，whereinIamtoldthattheslightestchangeinaccentuationortoneofvoicealtersthemeaningofawholesentence。Whateverisincoherentinmydescriptionmustbereferredtothefactofmyneverhavingattainedtoafullcomprehensionofthesubject。

Sofar，however，asIcouldcollectanythingcertain，Igatheredthattheyhavetwodistinctcurrencies，eachunderthecontrolofitsownbanksandmercantilecodes。Oneofthese(theonewiththeMusicalBanks)wassupposedtobeTHEsystem，andtogiveoutthecurrencyinwhichallmonetarytransactionsshouldbecarriedon；

andasfarasIcouldsee，allwhowishedtobeconsideredrespectable，keptalargerorsmallerbalanceatthesebanks。Ontheotherhand，ifthereisonethingofwhichIammoresurethananother，itisthattheamountsokepthadnodirectcommercialvalueintheoutsideworld；IamsurethatthemanagersandcashiersoftheMusicalBankswerenotpaidintheirowncurrency。