第15章

Iregardyouinanycaseasamanofnoblecharacterandnotwithoutelementsofmagnanimity,thoughIdon\'tagreewithallyourconvictions。Iwantedtotellyouthisfirst,franklyandquitesincerely,foraboveallIdon\'twanttodeceiveyou。WhenImadeyouracquaintance,Ifeltattractedbyyou。Perhapsyouwilllaughatmysayingso。Youhavearightto。Iknowyoudislikedmefromthefirstandindeedyou\'venoreasontolikeme。Youmaythinkwhatyoulike,butIdesirenowtodoallIcantoeffacethatimpressionandtoshowthatIamamanofheartandconscience。Ispeaksincerely。“

PorfiryPetrovitchmadeadignifiedpause。Raskolnikovfeltarushofrenewedalarm。ThethoughtthatPorfirybelievedhimtobeinnocentbegantomakehimuneasy。

“It\'sscarcelynecessarytogoovereverythingindetail,“PorfiryPetrovitchwenton。“IndeedIcouldscarcelyattemptit。Tobeginwiththerewererumours。Throughwhom,how,andwhenthoserumourscametome……andhowtheyaffectedyou,Ineednotgointo。Mysuspicionswerearousedbyacompleteaccident,whichmightjustaseasilynothavehappened。Whatwasit?Hm!Ibelievethereisnoneedtogointothateither。Thoserumoursandthataccidentledtooneideainmymind。Iadmititopenly-foronemayaswellmakeacleanbreastofit-Iwasthefirsttopitchonyou。Theoldwoman\'snotesonthepledgesandtherestofit-thatallcametonothing。

Yourswasoneofahundred。Ihappened,too,tohearofthesceneattheoffice,fromamanwhodescribeditcapitally,unconsciouslyreproducingthescenewithgreatvividness。Itwasjustonethingafteranother,RodionRomanovitch,mydearfellow!HowcouldIavoidbeingbroughttocertainideas?Fromahundredrabbitsyoucan\'tmakeahorse,ahundredsuspicionsdon\'tmakeaproof,astheEnglishproverbsays,butthat\'sonlyfromtherationalpointofview-

youcan\'thelpbeingpartial,forafterallalawyerisonlyhuman。

Ithought,too,ofyourarticleinthatjournal,doyouremember,onyourfirstvisitwetalkedofit?Ijeeredatyouatthetime,butthatwasonlytoleadyouon。Irepeat,RodionRomanovitch,youareillandimpatient。Thatyouwerebold,headstrong,inearnestand……

hadfeltagreatdealIrecognisedlongbefore。I,too,havefeltthesame,sothatyourarticleseemedfamiliartome。Itwasconceivedonsleeplessnights,withathrobbingheart,inecstasyandsuppressedenthusiasm。Andthatproudsuppressedenthusiasminyoungpeopleisdangerous!Ijeeredatyouthen,butletmetellyouthat,asaliteraryamateur,Iamawfullyfondofsuchfirstessays,fulloftheheatofyouth。Thereisamistinessandachordvibratinginthemist。Yourarticleisabsurdandfantastic,butthere\'satransparentsincerity,ayouthfulincorruptibleprideandthedaringofdespairinit。It\'sagloomyarticle,butthat\'swhat\'sfineinit。

Ireadyourarticleandputitaside,thinkingasIdidso\'thatmanwon\'tgothecommonway。\'Well,Iaskyou,afterthatasapreliminary,howcouldIhelpbeingcarriedawaybywhatfollowed?Oh,dear,Iamnotsayinganything,Iamnotmakinganystatementnow。I

simplynoteditatthetime。Whatisthereinit?Ireflected。There\'snothinginit,thatisreallynothingandperhapsabsolutelynothing。Andit\'snotatallthethingfortheprosecutortolethimselfbecarriedawaybynotions：hereIhaveNikolayonmyhandswithactualevidenceagainsthim-youmaythinkwhatyoulikeofit,butit\'sevidence。Hebringsinhispsychology,too;onehastoconsiderhim,too,forit\'samatteroflifeanddeath。WhyamI

explainingthistoyou?Thatyoumayunderstand,andnotblamemymaliciousbehaviouronthatoccasion。Itwasnotmalicious,Iassureyou,he-he!DoyousupposeIdidn\'tcometosearchyourroomatthetime?Idid,Idid,he-he!Iwasherewhenyouwerelyingillinbed,notofficially,notinmyownperson,butIwashere。Yourroomwassearchedtothelastthreadatthefirstsuspicion;butumsonst!I

thoughttomyself,nowthatmanwillcome,willcomeofhimselfandquickly,too;ifhe\'sguilty,he\'ssuretocome。Anothermanwouldn\'tbuthewill。AndyourememberhowMr。Razumihinbegandiscussingthesubjectwithyou?Wearrangedthattoexciteyou,sowepurposelyspreadrumours,thathemightdiscussthecasewithyou,andRazumihinisnotamantorestrainhisindignation。Mr。Zametovwastremendouslystruckbyyourangerandyouropendaring。Thinkofblurtingoutinarestaurant\'Ikilledher。\'Itwastoodaring,tooreckless。Ithoughtsomyself,ifheisguiltyhewillbeaformidableopponent。ThatwaswhatIthoughtatthetime。Iwasexpectingyou。

ButyousimplybowledZametovoverand……well,yousee,itallliesinthis-thatthisdamnablepsychologycanbetakentwoways!Well,Ikeptexpectingyou,andsoitwas,youcame!Myheartwasfairlythrobbing。Ach!

“Now,whyneedyouhavecome?Yourlaughter,too,asyoucamein,doyouremember?Isawitallplainasdaylight,butifIhadn\'texpectedyousospecially,Ishouldnothavenoticedanythinginyourlaughter。

Youseewhatinfluenceamoodhas!Mr。Razumihinthen-ah,thatstone,thatstoneunderwhichthethingswerehidden!Iseemtoseeitsomewhereinakitchengarden。Itwasinakitchengarden,youtoldZametovandafterwardsyourepeatedthatinmyoffice?Andwhenwebeganpickingyourarticletopieces,howyouexplainedit!Onecouldtakeeverywordofyoursintwosenses,asthoughtherewereanothermeaninghidden。

“Sointhisway,RodionRomanovitch,Ireachedthefurthestlimit,andknockingmyheadagainstapost,Ipulledmyselfup,askingmyselfwhatIwasabout。Afterall,Isaid,youcantakeitallinanothersenseifyoulike,andit\'smorenaturalso,indeed。Icouldn\'thelpadmittingitwasmorenatural。Iwasbothered!\'No,I\'dbettergetholdofsomelittlefact\'Isaid。SowhenIheardofthebell-ringing,Iheldmybreathandwasallinatremor。\'Hereismylittlefact,\'

thoughtI,andIdidn\'tthinkitover,Isimplywouldn\'t。Iwouldhavegivenathousandroublesatthatminutetohaveseenyouwithmyowneyes,whenyouwalkedahundredpacesbesidethatworkman,afterhehadcalledyoumurderertoyourface,andyoudidnotdaretoaskhimaquestionalltheway。Andthenwhataboutyourtrembling,whataboutyourbell-ringinginyourillness,insemi-delirium?

“Andso,RodionRomanovitch,canyouwonderthatIplayedsuchpranksonyou?Andwhatmadeyoucomeatthatveryminute?Someoneseemedtohavesentyou,byJove!AndifNikolayhadnotpartedus……anddoyourememberNikolayatthetime?Doyourememberhimclearly?Itwasathunderbolt,aregularthunderbolt!AndhowImethim!Ididn\'tbelieveinthethunderbolt,notforaminute。Youcouldseeitforyourself;andhowcouldI?Evenafterwards,whenyouhadgoneandhebeganmakingvery,veryplausibleanswersoncertainpoints,sothatIwassurprisedathimmyself,eventhenI

didn\'tbelievehisstory!Youseewhatitistobeasfirmasarock!No,thoughtI,morgenfruh。WhathasNikolaygottodowithit！”

“RazumihintoldmejustnowthatyouthinkNikolayguiltyandhadyourselfassuredhimofit……“

Hisvoicefailedhim,andhebrokeoff。Hehadbeenlisteninginindescribableagitation,asthismanwhohadseenthroughandthroughhimwentbackuponhimself。Hewasafraidofbelievingitanddidnotbelieveit。Inthosestillambiguouswordshekepteagerlylookingforsomethingmoredefiniteandconclusive。

“Mr。Razumihin！”criedPorfiryPetrovitch,seeminggladofaquestionfromRaskolnikov,whohadtillthen,beensilent。

“He-he-he!ButIhadtoputMr。Razumihinoff;twoiscompany,threeisnone。Mr。Razumihinisnottherightman,besidesheisanoutsider。Hecamerunningtomewithapaleface……Butnevermindhim,whybringhimin!ToreturntoNikolay,wouldyouliketoknowwhatsortofatypeheis,howIunderstandhim,thatis?Tobeginwith,heisstillachildandnotexactlyacoward,butsomethingbywayofanartist。Really,don\'tlaughatmydescribinghimso。Heisinnocentandresponsivetoinfluence。Hehasaheart,andisafantasticfellow。Hesingsanddances,hetellsstories,theysay,sothatpeoplecomefromothervillagestohearhim。Heattendsschooltoo,andlaughstillhecriesifyouholdupafingertohim;hewilldrinkhimselfsenseless-notasaregularvice,butattimes,whenpeopletreathim,likeachild。Andhestole,too,then,withoutknowingithimself,for\'Howcanitbestealing,ifonepicksitup?\'AnddoyouknowheisanOldBeliever,orratheradissenter?TherehavebeenWanderers*inhisfamily,andhewasfortwoyearsinhisvillageunderthespiritualguidanceofacertainelder。IlearntallthisfromNikolayandfromhisfellowvillagers。

Andwhat\'smore,hewantedtorunintothewilderness!Hewasfulloffervour,prayedatnight,readtheoldbooks,\'thetrue\'ones,andreadhimselfcrazy-

*Areligioussect-TRANSLATOR\'SNOTE-

“Petersburghadagreateffectuponhim,especiallythewomenandthewine。Herespondstoeverythingandheforgottheelderandallthat。Ilearntthatanartistheretookafancytohim,andusedtogoandseehim,andnowthisbusinesscameuponhim。

“Well,hewasfrightened,hetriedtohanghimself!Heranaway!HowcanonegetovertheideathepeoplehaveofRussianlegalproceedings!Theveryword\'trial\'frightenssomeofthem。Whosefaultisit?Weshallseewhatthenewjurieswilldo。Godgranttheydogood!Well,inprison,itseems,herememberedthevenerableelder,theBible,too,madeitsappearanceagain。Doyouknow,RodionRomanovitch,theforceoftheword\'suffering\'amongsomeofthesepeople!It\'snotaquestionofsufferingforsomeone\'sbenefit,butsimply,\'onemustsuffer。\'Iftheysufferatthehandsoftheauthorities,somuchthebetter。InmytimetherewasaverymeekandmildprisonerwhospentawholeyearinprisonalwaysreadinghisBibleonthestoveatnightandhereadhimselfcrazy,andsocrazy,doyouknow,thatoneday,aproposofnothing,heseizedabrickandflungitatthegovernor,thoughhehaddonehimnoharm。

Andthewayhethrewittoo：aimeditayardononesideonpurpose,forfearofhurtinghim。Well,weknowwhathappenstoaprisonerwhoassaultsanofficerwithaweapon。So\'hetookhissuffering。\'

“SoIsuspectnowthatNikolaywantstotakehissufferingorsomethingofthesort。Iknowitforcertainfromfacts,indeed。

Onlyhedoesn\'tknowthatIknow。What,youdon\'tadmitthattherearesuchfantasticpeopleamongthepeasants?Lotsofthem。Theeldernowhasbeguninfluencinghim,especiallysincehetriedtohanghimself。Buthe\'llcomeandtellmeallhimself。Youthinkhe\'llholdout?Waitabit,he\'lltakehiswordsback。Iamwaitingfromhourtohourforhimtocomeandabjurehisevidence。IhavecometolikethatNikolayandamstudyinghimindetail。Andwhatdoyouthink?He-he!Heansweredmeveryplausiblyonsomepoints,heobviouslyhadcollectedsomeevidenceandpreparedhimselfcleverly。

Butonotherpointsheissimplyatsea,knowsnothinganddoesn\'tevensuspectthathedoesn\'tknow!

“No,RodionRomanovitch,Nikolaydoesn\'tcomein!Thisisafantastic,gloomybusiness,amoderncase,anincidentofto-daywhentheheartofmanistroubled,whenthephraseisquotedthatblood\'renews,\'whencomfortispreachedastheaimoflife。Herewehavebookishdreams,aheartunhingedbytheories。Hereweseeresolutioninthefirststage,butresolutionofaspecialkind：heresolvedtodoitlikejumpingoveraprecipiceorfromabelltowerandhislegsshookashewenttothecrime。Heforgottoshutthedoorafterhim,andmurderedtwopeopleforatheory。Hecommittedthemurderandcouldn\'ttakethemoney,andwhathedidmanagetosnatchuphehidunderastone。Itwasn\'tenoughforhimtosufferagonybehindthedoorwhiletheybatteredatthedoorandrungthebell,no,hehadtogototheemptylodging,halfdelirious,torecallthebell-ringing,hewantedtofeelthecoldshiveroveragain……Well,thatwegrant,wasthroughillness,butconsiderthis：heisamurderer,butlooksuponhimselfasanhonestman,despisesothers,posesasinjuredinnocence。No,that\'snottheworkofaNikolay,mydearRodionRomanovitch！”

Allthathadbeensaidbeforehadsoundedsolikearecantationthatthesewordsweretoogreatashock。Raskolnikovshudderedasthoughhehadbeenstabbed。

“Then……whothen……isthemurderer？”heaskedinabreathlessvoice,unabletorestrainhimself。

PorfiryPetrovitchsankbackinhischair,asthoughhewereamazedatthequestion。

“Whoisthemurderer？”herepeated,asthoughunabletobelievehisears。“Whyyou,RodionRomanovitch!Youarethemurderer,“headdedalmostinawhisper,inavoiceofgenuineconviction。

Raskolnikovleaptfromthesofa,stoodupforafewsecondsandsatdownagainwithoututteringaword。Hisfacetwitchedconvulsively。

“Yourlipistwitchingjustasitdidbefore,“PorfiryPetrovitchobservedalmostsympathetically。“You\'vebeenmisunderstandingme,I

think,RodionRomanovitch,“headdedafterabriefpause,“that\'swhyyouaresosurprised。Icameonpurposetotellyoueverythinganddealopenlywithyou。“

“ItwasnotImurderedher,“Raskolnikovwhisperedlikeafrightenedchildcaughtintheact。

“No,itwasyou,youRodionRomanovitch,andnooneelse,“Porfirywhisperedsternly,withconviction。

Theywerebothsilentandthesilencelastedstrangelylong,abouttenminutes。Raskolnikovputhiselbowonthetableandpassedhisfingersthroughhishair。PorfiryPetrovitchsatquietlywaiting。

SuddenlyRaskolnikovlookedscornfullyatPorfiry。

“Youareatyouroldtricksagain,PorfiryPetrovitch!Youroldmethodagain。Iwonderyoudon\'tgetsickofit！”

“Oh,stopthat,whatdoesthatmatternow?Itwouldbeadifferentmatteriftherewerewitnessespresent,butwearewhisperingalone。

YouseeyourselfthatIhavenotcometochaseandcaptureyoulikeahare。Whetheryouconfessitornotisnothingtomenow;formyself,Iamconvincedwithoutit。“

“Ifso,whatdidyoucomefor？”Raskolnikovaskedirritably。“I

askyouthesamequestionagain：ifyouconsidermeguilty,whydon\'tyoutakemetoprison？”

“Oh,that\'syourquestion!Iwillansweryou,pointforpoint。Inthefirstplace,toarrestyousodirectlyisnottomyinterest。“

“Howso?Ifyouareconvincedyouought……“

“Ach,whatifIamconvinced?That\'sonlymydreamforthetime。WhyshouldIputyouinsafety?Youknowthat\'sit,sinceyouaskmetodoit。IfIconfrontyouwiththatworkmanforinstanceandyousaytohim\'wereyoudrunkornot?Whosawmewithyou?Isimplytookyoutobedrunk,andyouweredrunk,too。\'Well,whatcouldIanswer,especiallyasyourstoryisamorelikelyonethanhis,forthere\'snothingbutpsychologytosupporthisevidence-that\'salmostunseemlywithhisuglymug,whileyouhitthemarkexactly,fortherascalisaninveteratedrunkardandnotoriouslyso。AndIhavemyselfadmittedcandidlyseveraltimesalreadythatthatpsychologycanbetakenintwowaysandthatthesecondwayisstrongerandlooksfarmoreprobable,andthatapartfromthatIhaveasyetnothingagainstyou。AndthoughIshallputyouinprisonandindeedhavecome-quitecontrarytoetiquette-toinformyouofitbeforehand,yetItellyoufrankly,alsocontrarytoetiquette,thatitwon\'tbetomyadvantage。Well,secondly,I\'vecometoyoubecause……“

“Yes,yes,secondly？”Raskolnikovwaslisteningbreathless。

“Because,asItoldyoujustnow,IconsiderIoweyouanexplanation。Idon\'twantyoutolookuponmeasamonster,asI

haveagenuinelikingforyou,youmaybelievemeornot。AndinthethirdplaceI\'vecometoyouwithadirectandopenproposition-

thatyoushouldsurrenderandconfess。Itwillbeinfinitelymoretoyouradvantageandtomyadvantagetoo,formytaskwillbedone。

Well,isthisopenonmypartornot？”

Raskolnikovthoughtaminute。

“Listen,PorfiryPetrovitch。Yousaidjustnowyouhavenothingbutpsychologytogoon,yetnowyou\'vegoneonmathematics。Well,whatifyouaremistakenyourself,now？”

“No,RodionRomanovitch,Iamnotmistaken。Ihavealittlefacteventhen,providencesentitme。“

“Whatlittlefact？”

“Iwon\'ttellyouwhat,RodionRomanovitch。Andinanycase,I

haven\'ttherighttoputitoffanylonger,Imustarrestyou。Sothinkitover：itmakesnodifferencetomenowandsoIspeakonlyforyoursake。Believeme,itwillbebetter,RodionRomanovitch。“

Raskolnikovsmiledmalignantly。

“That\'snotsimplyridiculous,it\'spositivelyshameless。Why,evenifIwereguilty,whichIdon\'tadmit,whatreasonshouldI

havetoconfess,whenyoutellmeyourselfthatIshallbeingreatersafetyinprison？”

“Ah,RodionRomanovitch,don\'tputtoomuchfaithinwords,perhapsprisonwillnotbealtogetherarestfulplace。That\'sonlytheoryandmytheory,andwhatauthorityamIforyou?Perhaps,too,evennowIamhidingsomethingfromyou?Ican\'tlaybareeverything,he-he!Andhowcanyouaskwhatadvantage?Don\'tyouknowhowitwouldlessenyoursentence?Youwouldbeconfessingatamomentwhenanothermanhastakenthecrimeonhimselfandsohasmuddledthewholecase。Considerthat!IswearbeforeGodthatI

willsoarrangethatyourconfessionshallcomeasacompletesurprise。Wewillmakeacleansweepofallthesepsychologicalpoints,ofansuspicionagainstyou,sothatyourcrimewillappeartohavebeensomethinglikeanaberration,forintruthitwasanaberration。Iamanhonestman,RodionRomanovitch,andwillkeepmyword。“

Raskolnikovmaintainedamournfulsilenceandlethisheadsinkdejectedly。Heponderedalongwhileandatlastsmiledagain,buthissmilewassadandgentle。

“No！”hesaid,apparentlyabandoningallattempttokeepupappearanceswithPorfiry,“it\'snotworthit,Idon\'tcareaboutlesseningthesentence！”

“That\'sjustwhatIwasafraidof！”Porfirycriedwarmlyand,asitseemed,involuntarily。“That\'sjustwhatIfeared,thatyouwouldn\'tcareaboutthemitigationofsentence。“

Raskolnikovlookedsadlyandexpressivelyathim。

“Ah,don\'tdisdainlife！”Porfirywenton。“Youhaveagreatdealofitstillbeforeyou。Howcanyousayyoudon\'twantamitigationofsentence?Youareanimpatientfellow！”

“Agreatdealofwhatliesbeforeme？”

“Oflife。Whatsortofprophetareyou,doyouknowmuchaboutit?

Seekandyeshallfind。ThismaybeGod\'smeansforbringingyoutoHim。Andit\'snotforever,thebondage……“

“Thetimewillbeshortened,“laughedRaskolnikov。

“Why,isitthebourgeoisdisgraceyouareafraidof?Itmaybethatyouareafraidofitwithoutknowingit,becauseyouareyoung!Butanywayyoushouldn\'tbeafraidofgivingyourselfupandconfessing。“

“Ach,hangit！”Raskolnikovwhisperedwithloathingandcontempt,asthoughhedidnotwanttospeakaloud。

Hegotupagainasthoughhemeanttogoaway,butsatdownagaininevidentdespair。

“Hangit,ifyoulike!You\'velostfaithandyouthinkthatIamgrosslyflatteringyou;buthowlonghasyourlifebeen?Howmuchdoyouunderstand?Youmadeupatheoryandthenwereashamedthatitbrokedownandturnedouttobenotatalloriginal!Itturnedoutsomethingbase,that\'strue,butyouarenothopelesslybase。Bynomeanssobase!Atleastyoudidn\'tdeceiveyourselfforlong,youwentstraighttothefurthestpointatonebound。HowdoIregardyou?I

regardyouasoneofthosemenwhowouldstandandsmileattheirtorturerwhilehecutstheirentrailsout,ifonlytheyhavefoundfaithorGod。Finditandyouwilllive。Youhavelongneededachangeofair。Suffering,too,isagoodthing。Suffer!MaybeNikolayisrightinwantingtosuffer。Iknowyoudon\'tbelieveinit-butdon\'tbeover-wise;flingyourselfstraightintolife,withoutdeliberation;don\'tbeafraid-thefloodwillbearyoutothebankandsetyousafeonyourfeetagain。Whatbank?HowcanItell?Ionlybelievethatyouhavelonglifebeforeyou。Iknowthatyoutakeallmywordsnowforasetspeechpreparedbeforehand,butmaybeyouwillrememberthemafter。Theymaybeofusesometime。That\'swhyI

speak。It\'saswellthatyouonlykilledtheoldwoman。Ifyou\'dinventedanothertheoryyoumightperhapshavedonesomethingathousandtimesmorehideous。YououghttothankGod,perhaps。Howdoyouknow?PerhapsGodissavingyouforsomething。Butkeepagoodheartandhavelessfear!Areyouafraidofthegreatexpiationbeforeyou?No,itwouldbeshamefultobeafraidofit。Sinceyouhavetakensuchastep,youmusthardenyourheart。Thereisjusticeinit。Youmustfulfilthedemandsofjustice。Iknowthatyoudon\'tbelieveit,butindeed,lifewillbringyouthrough。Youwillliveitdownintime。Whatyouneednowisfreshair,freshair,freshair！”

Raskolnikovpositivelystarted。

“Butwhoareyou?whatprophetareyou?Fromtheheightofwhatmajesticcalmdoyouproclaimthesewordsofwisdom？”

“WhoamI?Iamamanwithnothingtohopefor,that\'sall。Amanperhapsoffeelingandsympathy,maybeofsomeknowledgetoo,butmydayisover。Butyouareadifferentmatter,thereislifewaitingforyou。Thoughwhoknows,maybeyourlife,too,willpassoffinsmokeandcometonothing。Come,whatdoesitmatter,thatyouwillpassintoanotherclassofmen?It\'snotcomfortyouregret,withyourheart!Whatofitthatperhapsnoonewillseeyouforsolong?It\'snottime,butyourselfthatwilldecidethat。Bethesunandallwillseeyou。Thesunhasbeforealltobethesun。Whyareyousmilingagain?AtmybeingsuchaSchiller?Ibetyou\'reimaginingthatIamtryingtogetroundyoubyflattery。Well,perhapsIam,he-he-he!Perhapsyou\'dbetternotbelievemyword,perhapsyou\'dbetterneverbelieveitaltogether,-I\'mmadethatway,Iconfessit。Butletmeadd,youcanjudgeforyourself,Ithink,howfarI

amabasesortofmanandhowfarIamhonest。“

“Whendoyoumeantoarrestme？”

“Well,Icanletyouwalkaboutanotherdayortwo。Thinkitover,mydearfellow,andpraytoGod。It\'smoreinyourinterest,believeme。“

“AndwhatifIrunaway？”askedRaskolnikovwithastrangesmile。

“No,youwon\'trunaway。Apeasantwouldrunaway,afashionabledissenterwouldrunaway,theflunkeyofanotherman\'sthought,foryou\'veonlytoshowhimtheendofyourlittlefingerandhe\'llbereadytobelieveinanythingfortherestofhislife。Butyou\'veceasedtobelieveinyourtheoryalready,whatwillyourunawaywith?

Andwhatwouldyoudoinhiding?Itwouldbehatefulanddifficultforyou,andwhatyouneedmorethananythinginlifeisadefiniteposition,anatmospheretosuityou。Andwhatsortofatmospherewouldyouhave?Ifyouranaway,you\'dcomebacktoyourself。Youcan\'tgetonwithoutus。AndifIputyouinprison,-sayyou\'vebeenthereamonth,ortwo,orthree-remembermyword,you\'llconfessofyourselfandperhapstoyourownsurprise。Youwon\'tknowanhourbeforehandthatyouarecomingwithaconfession。Iamconvincedthatyouwilldecide,\'totakeyoursuffering。\'Youdon\'tbelievemywordsnow,butyou\'llcometoitofyourself。Forsuffering,RodionRomanovitch,isagreatthing。Nevermindmyhavinggrownfat,I

knowallthesame。Don\'tlaughatit,there\'sanideainsuffering,Nokolayisright。No,youwon\'trunaway,RodionRomanovitch。“

Raskolnikovgotupandtookhiscap。PorfiryPetrovitchalsorose。

“Areyougoingforawalk?Theeveningwillbefine,ifonlywedon\'thaveastorm。Thoughitwouldbeagoodthingtofreshentheair。“

Hetootookhiscap。

“PorfiryPetrovitch,pleasedon\'ttakeupthenotionthatIhaveconfessedtoyouto-day,“Raskolnikovpronouncedwithsulleninsistence。“You\'reastrangemanandIhavelistenedtoyoufromsimplecuriosity。ButIhaveadmittednothing,rememberthat！”

“Oh,Iknowthat,I\'llremember。Lookathim,he\'strembling!

Don\'tbeuneasy,mydearfellow,haveityourownway。Walkaboutabit,youwon\'tbeabletowalktoofar。Ifanythinghappens,Ihaveonerequesttomakeofyou,“headded,droppinghisvoice。“It\'sanawkwardone,butimportant。Ifanythingweretohappen(thoughindeedIdon\'tbelieveinitandthinkyouquiteincapableofit),yetincaseyouweretakenduringthesefortyorfiftyhourswiththenotionofputtinganendtothebusinessinsomeotherway,insomefantasticfashion-layinghandsonyourself-(it\'sanabsurdproposition,butyoumustforgivemeforit)doleaveabriefbutprecisenote,onlytwolinesandmentionthestone。Itwillbemoregenerous。Come,tillwemeet!Goodthoughtsandsounddecisionstoyou！”

Porfirywentout,stoopingandavoidinglookingatRaskolnikov。

ThelatterwenttothewindowandwaitedwithirritableimpatiencetillhecalculatedthatPorfiryhadreachedthestreetandmovedaway。

Thenhetoowenthurriedlyoutoftheroom。

ChapterThreeHEHURRIEDtoSvidrigailov\'s。Whathehadtohopefromthatmanhedidnotknow。Butthatmanhadsomehiddenpoweroverhim。Havingoncerecognisedthis,hecouldnotrest,andnowthetimehadcome。

Ontheway,onequestionparticularlyworriedhim：hadSvidrigailovbeentoPorfiry\'s?

Asfarashecouldjudge,hewouldsweartoit,thathehadnot。

Heponderedagainandagain,wentoverPorfiry\'svisit;no,hehadn\'tbeen,ofcoursehehadn\'t。

Butifhehadnotbeenyet,wouldhego?Meanwhile,forthepresenthefanciedhecouldn\'t。Why?Hecouldnothaveexplained,butifhecould,hewouldnothavewastedmuchthoughtoveritatthemoment。Itallworriedhimandatthesametimehecouldnotattendtoit。Strangetosay,nonewouldhavebelieveditperhaps,butheonlyfeltafaintvagueanxietyabouthisimmediatefuture。

Another,muchmoreimportantanxietytormentedhim-itconcernedhimself,butinadifferent,morevitalway。Moreover,hewasconsciousofimmensemoralfatigue,thoughhismindwasworkingbetterthatmorningthanithaddoneoflate。

Andwasitworthwhile,afterallthathadhappened,tocontendwiththesenewtrivialdifficulties?Wasitworthwhile,forinstance,tomanoeuvrethatSvidrigailovshouldnotgotoPorfiry\'s?Wasitworthwhiletoinvestigate,toascertainthefacts,towastetimeoveranyonelikeSvidrigailov?

Ohhowsickhewasofitall!

AndyethewashasteningtoSvidrigailov;couldhebeexpectingsomethingnewfromhim,information,ormeansofescape?Menwillcatchatstraws!Wasitdestinyorsomeinstinctbringingthemtogether?Perhapsitwasonlyfatigue,despair;perhapsitwasnotSvidrigailovbutsomeotherwhomheneeded,andSvidrigailovhadsimplypresentedhimselfbychance。Sonia?ButwhatshouldhegotoSoniafornow?Tobeghertearsagain?HewasafraidofSonia,too。

Soniastoodbeforehimasanirrevocablesentence。Hemustgohisownwayorhers。Atthatmomentespeciallyhedidnotfeelequaltoseeingher。No,woulditnotbebettertotrySvidrigailov?Andhecouldnothelpinwardlyowningthathehadlongfeltthathemustseehimforsomereason。

Butwhatcouldtheyhaveincommon?Theirveryevil-doingcouldnotbeofthesamekind。Theman,moreover,wasveryunpleasant,evidentlydepraved,undoubtedlycunninganddeceitful,possiblymalignant。Suchstoriesweretoldabouthim。ItistruehewasbefriendingKaterinaIvanovna\'schildren,butwhocouldtellwithwhatmotiveandwhatitmeant?Themanalwayshadsomedesign,someproject。

TherewasanotherthoughtwhichhadbeencontinuallyhoveringoflateaboutRaskolnikov\'smind,andcausinghimgreatuneasiness。Itwassopainfulthathemadedistincteffortstogetridofit。HesometimesthoughtthatSvidrigailovwasdogginghisfootsteps。

SvidrigailovhadfoundouthissecretandhadhaddesignsonDounia。

Whatifhehadthemstill?Wasn\'titpracticallycertainthathehad?Andwhatif,havinglearnthissecretandsohavinggainedpoweroverhim,heweretouseitasaweaponagainstDounia?

Thisideasometimeseventormentedhisdreams,butithadneverpresenteditselfsovividlytohimasonhiswaytoSvidrigailov。

Theverythoughtmovedhimtogloomyrage。Tobeginwith,thiswouldtransformeverything,evenhisownposition;hewouldhaveatoncetoconfesshissecrettoDounia。WouldhehavetogivehimselfupperhapstopreventDouniafromtakingsomerashstep?Theletter?ThismorningDouniahadreceivedaletter。FromwhomcouldshegetlettersinPetersburg?Luzhin,perhaps?It\'strueRazumihinwastheretoprotecther,butRazumihinknewnothingoftheposition。

PerhapsitwashisdutytotellRazumihin?Hethoughtofitwithrepugnance。

InanycasehemustseeSvidrigailovassoonaspossible,hedecidedfinally。ThankGod,thedetailsoftheinterviewwereoflittleconsequence,ifonlyhecouldgetattherootofthematter;butifSvidrigailovwerecapable……ifhewereintriguingagainstDounia,-

then……

Raskolnikovwassoexhaustedbywhathehadpassedthroughthatmonththathecouldonlydecidesuchquestionsinoneway;“thenI

shallkillhim,“hethoughtincolddespair。

Asuddenanguishoppressedhisheart,hestoodstillinthemiddleofthestreetandbeganlookingabouttoseewherehewasandwhichwayhewasgoing。HefoundhimselfinX。Prospect,thirtyorfortypacesfromtheHayMarket,throughwhichhehadcome。Thewholesecondstoreyofthehouseontheleftwasusedasatavern。Allthewindowswerewideopen;judgingfromthefiguresmovingatthewindows,theroomswerefulltooverflowing。Thereweresoundsofsinging,ofclarionetandviolin,andtheboomofaTurkishdrum。Hecouldhearwomenshrieking。HewasabouttoturnbackwonderingwhyhehadcometotheX。Prospect,whensuddenlyatoneoftheendwindowshesawSvidrigailov,sittingatatea-tablerightintheopenwindowwithapipeinhismouth,Raskolnikovwasdreadfullytakenaback,almostterrified。Svidrigailovwassilentlywatchingandscrutinisinghimand,whatstruckRaskolnikovatonce,seemedtobemeaningtogetupandslipawayunobserved。Raskolnikovatoncepretendednottohaveseenhim,buttobelookingabsentmindedlyaway,whilehewatchedhimoutofthecornerofhiseye。Hisheartwasbeatingviolently。Yet,itwasevidentthatSvidrigailovdidnotwanttobeseen。Hetookthepipeoutofhismouthandwasonthepointofconcealinghimself,butashegotupandmovedbackhischair,heseemedtohavebecomesuddenlyawarethatRaskolnikovhadseenhim,andwaswatchinghim。WhathadpassedbetweenthemwasmuchthesameaswhathappenedattheirfirstmeetinginRaskolnikov\'sroom。AslysmilecameintoSvidrigailov\'sfaceandgrewbroaderandbroader。Eachknewthathewasseenandwatchedbytheother。AtlastSvidrigailovbrokeintoaloudlaugh。

“Well,well,comeinifyouwantme;Iamhere！”heshoutedfromthewindow。

Raskolnikovwentupintothetavern。HefoundSvidrigailovinatinybackroom,adjoiningthesalooninwhichmerchants,clerksandnumbersofpeopleofallsortsweredrinkingteaattwentylittletablestothedesperatebawlingofachorusofsingers。Theclickofbilliardballscouldbeheardinthedistance。OnthetablebeforeSvidrigailovstoodanopenbottle,andaglasshalffullofchampagne。Intheroomhefoundalsoaboywithalittlehandorgan,ahealthy-lookingred-cheekedgirlofeighteen,wearingatucked-upstripedskirt,andaTyrolesehatwithribbons。Inspiteofthechorusintheotherroom,shewassingingsomeservants\'hallsonginaratherhuskycontralto,totheaccompanimentoftheorgan。

“Come,that\'senough,“SvidrigailovstoppedheratRaskolnikov\'sentrance。Thegirlatoncebrokeoffandstoodwaitingrespectfully。

Shehadsunghergutturalrhymes,too,withaseriousandrespectfulexpressioninherface。

“Hey,Philip,aglass！”shoutedSvidrigailov。

“Iwon\'tdrinkanything,“saidRaskolnikov。

“Asyoulike,Ididn\'tmeanitforyou。Drink,Katia!Idon\'twantanythingmoreto-day,youcango。“Hepouredheroutafullglass,andlaiddownayellownote。

Katiadrankoffherglassofwine,aswomendo,withoutputtingitdown,intwentygulps,tookthenoteandkissedSvidrigailov\'shand,whichheallowedquiteseriously。Shewentoutoftheroomandtheboytrailedafterherwiththeorgan。Bothhadbeenbroughtinfromthestreet。SvidrigailovhadnotbeenaweekinPetersburg,buteverythingabouthimwasalready,sotospeak,onapatriarchalfooting;thewaiter,Philip,wasbynowanoldfriendandveryobsequious。

Thedoorleadingtothesaloonhadalockonit。Svidrigailovwasathomeinthisroomandperhapsspentwholedaysinit。Thetavernwasdirtyandwretched,notevensecondrate。

“Iwasgoingtoseeyouandlookingforyou,“Raskolnikovbegan,“butIdon\'tknowwhatmademeturnfromtheHayMarketintotheX。

Prospectjustnow。Inevertakethisturning。IturntotherightfromtheHayMarket。Andthisisn\'tthewaytoyou。Isimplyturnedandhereyouare。Itisstrange！”

“Whydon\'tyousayatonce\'it\'samiracle?\'“

“Becauseitmaybeonlychance。“

“Oh,that\'sthewaywithallyoufolk,“laughedSvidrigailov。“Youwon\'tadmitit,evenifyoudoinwardlybelieveitamiracle!Hereyousaythatitmaybeonlychance。Andwhatcowardstheyallarehere,abouthavinganopinionoftheirown,youcan\'tfancy,RodionRomanovitch。Idon\'tmeanyou,youhaveanopinionofyourownandarenotafraidtohaveit。That\'showitwasyouattractedmycuriosity。“

“Nothingelse？”

“Well,that\'senough,youknow,“Svidrigailovwasobviouslyexhilarated,butonlyslightlyso,hehadnothadmorethanhalfaglassofwine。

“IfancyyoucametoseemebeforeyouknewthatIwascapableofhavingwhatyoucallanopinionofmyown,“observedRaskolnikov。

“Oh,well,itwasadifferentmatter。Everyonehashisownplans。

AndaproposofthemiracleletmetellyouthatIthinkyouhavebeenasleepforthelasttwoorthreedays。Itoldyouofthistavernmyself,thereisnomiracleinyourcomingstraighthere。I

explainedthewaymyself,toldyouwhereitwas,andthehoursyoucouldfindmehere。Doyouremember？”

“Idon\'tremember,“answeredRaskolnikovwithsurprise。

“Ibelieveyou。Itoldyoutwice。Theaddresshasbeenstampedmechanicallyonyourmemory。Youturnedthiswaymechanicallyandyetpreciselyaccordingtothedirection,thoughyouarenotawareofit。WhenItoldyouthen,Ihardlyhopedyouunderstoodme。Yougiveyourselfawaytoomuch,RodionRomanovitch。Andanotherthing,I\'mconvincedtherearelotsofpeopleinPetersburgwhotalktothemselvesastheywalk。Thisisatownofcrazypeople。Ifonlywehadscientificmen,doctors,lawyersandphilosophersmightmakemostvaluableinvestigationsinPetersburgeachinhisownline。Therearefewplaceswheretherearesomanygloomy,strongandqueerinfluencesonthesoulofmanasinPetersburg。Themereinfluencesofclimatemeansomuch。Andit\'stheadministrativecentreofallRussiaanditscharactermustbereflectedonthewholecountry。Butthatisneitherherenortherenow。ThepointisthatIhaveseveraltimeswatchedyou。Youwalkoutofyourhouse-holdingyourheadhigh-

twentypacesfromhomeyouletitsink,andfoldyourhandsbehindyourback。Youlookandevidentlyseenothingbeforenorbesideyou。

Atlastyoubeginmovingyourlipsandtalkingtoyourself,andsometimesyouwaveonehandanddeclaim,andatlaststandstillinthemiddleoftheroad。That\'snotatallthething。Someonemaybewatchingyoubesidesme,anditwon\'tdoyouanygood。It\'snothingreallytodowithmeandIcan\'tcureyou,but,ofcourse,youunderstandme。“

“DoyouknowthatIambeingfollowed？”askedRaskolnikov,lookinginquisitivelyathim。

“No,Iknownothingaboutit,“saidSvidrigailov,seemingsurprised。

“Well,then,letusleavemealone,“Raskolnikovmuttered,frowning。

“Verygood,letusleaveyoualone。“

“Youhadbettertellme,ifyoucomeheretodrink,anddirectedmetwicetocomeheretoyou,whydidyouhide,andtrytogetawayjustnowwhenIlookedatthewindowfromthestreet?Isawit。“

“He-he!Andwhywasityoulayonyoursofawithclosedeyesandpretendedtobeasleep,thoughyouwerewideawakewhileIstoodinyourdoorway?Isawit。“

“Imayhavehad……reasons。Youknowthatyourself。“

“AndImayhavehadmyreasons,thoughyoudon\'tknowthem。“

Raskolnikovdroppedhisrightelbowonthetable,leanedhischininthefingersofhisrighthand,andstaredintentlyatSvidrigailov。

Forafullminutehescrutinisedhisface,whichhadimpressedhimbefore。Itwasastrangeface,likeamask;whiteandred,withbrightredlips,withaflaxenbeard,andstillthickflaxenhair。Hiseyesweresomehowtooblueandtheirexpressionsomehowtooheavyandfixed。Therewassomethingawfullyunpleasantinthathandsomeface,whichlookedsowonderfullyyoungforhisage。Svidrigailovwassmartlydressedinlightsummerclothesandwasparticularlydaintyinhislinen。Heworeahugeringwithapreciousstoneinit。

“HaveIgottobothermyselfaboutyoutoonow？”saidRaskolnikovsuddenly,comingwithnervousimpatiencestraighttothepoint。

“Eventhoughperhapsyouarethemostdangerousmanifyoucaretoinjureme,Idon\'twanttoputmyselfoutanymore。IwillshowyouatoncethatIdon\'tprizemyselfasyouprobablythinkIdo。I\'vecometotellyouatoncethatifyoukeeptoyourformerintentionswithregardtomysisterandifyouthinktoderiveanybenefitinthatdirectionfromwhathasbeendiscoveredoflate,Iwillkillyoubeforeyougetmelockedup。Youcanreckononmyword。YouknowthatIcankeepit。Andinthesecondplaceifyouwanttotellmeanything-forIkeepfancyingallthistimethatyouhavesomethingtotellme-makehasteandtellit,fortimeispreciousandverylikelyitwillsoonbetoolate。“

“Whyinsuchhaste？”askedSvidrigailov,lookingathimcuriously。

“Everyonehashisplans,“Raskolnikovansweredgloomilyandimpatiently。

“Youurgedmeyourselftofranknessjustnow,andatthefirstquestionyourefusetoanswer,“Svidrigailovobservedwithasmile。

“YoukeepfancyingthatIhaveaimsofmyownandsoyoulookatmewithsuspicion。Ofcourseit\'sperfectlynaturalinyourposition。ButthoughIshouldliketobefriendswithyou,Ishan\'ttroublemyselftoconvinceyouofthecontrary。Thegameisn\'tworththecandleandI

wasn\'tintendingtotalktoyouaboutanythingspecial。“

“Whatdidyouwantme,for,then?Itwasyouwhocamehangingaboutme。“

“Why,simplyasaninterestingsubjectforobservation。Ilikedthefantasticnatureofyourposition-that\'swhatitwas!Besidesyouarethebrotherofapersonwhogreatlyinterestedme,andfromthatpersonIhadinthepastheardaverygreatdealaboutyou,fromwhichIgatheredthatyouhadagreatinfluenceoverher;isn\'tthatenough?

Ha-ha-ha!StillImustadmitthatyourquestionisrathercomplex,andisdifficultformetoanswer。Here,you,forinstance,havecometomenotonlyforadefiniteobject,butforthesakeofhearingsomethingnew。Isn\'tthatso?Isn\'tthatso？”persistedSvidrigailovwithaslysmile。“Well,can\'tyoufancythenthatI,too,onmywayhereinthetrainwasreckoningonyou,onyourtellingmesomethingnew,andonmymakingsomeprofitoutofyou!Youseewhatrichmenweare！”

“Whatprofitcouldyoumake？”

“HowcanItellyou?HowdoIknow?YouseeinwhatatavernIspendallmytimeandit\'smyenjoyment,that\'stosayit\'snogreatenjoyment,butonemustsitsomewhere;thatpoorKatianow-yousawher?……IfonlyIhadbeenagluttonnow,aclubgourmand,butyouseeIcaneatthis。“

Hepointedtoalittletableinthecornerwheretheremnantsofaterriblelookingbeef-steakandpotatoeslayonatindish。

“Haveyoudined,bytheway?I\'vehadsomethingandwantnothingmore。Idon\'tdrink,forinstance,atall。ExceptforchampagneI

nevertouchanything,andnotmorethanaglassofthatalltheevening,andeventhatisenoughtomakemyheadache。Iordereditjustnowtowindmyselfup,forIamjustgoingoffsomewhereandyouseemeinapeculiarstateofmind。ThatwaswhyIhidmyselfjustnowlikeaschoolboy,forIwasafraidyouwouldhinderme。ButI

believe,“hepulledouthiswatch,“Icanspendanhourwithyou。It\'shalf-pastfournow。IfonlyI\'dbeensomething,alandowner,afather,acavalryofficer,aphotographer,ajournalist……Iamnothing,nospecialty,andsometimesIampositivelybored。Ireallythoughtyouwouldtellmesomethingnew。“

“Butwhatareyou,andwhyhaveyoucomehere？”

“WhatamI?Youknow,agentleman,Iservedfortwoyearsinthecavalry,thenIknockedabouthereinPetersburg,thenImarriedMarfaPetrovnaandlivedinthecountry。Thereyouhavemybiography！”

“Youareagambler,Ibelieve？”

“No,apoorsortofgambler。Acard-sharper-notagambler。“

“Youhavebeenacard-sharperthen？”

“Yes,I\'vebeenacard-sharpertoo。“

“Didn\'tyougetthrashedsometimes？”

“Itdidhappen。Why？”

“Why,youmighthavechallengedthem……altogetheritmusthavebeenlively。“

“Iwon\'tcontradictyouandbesidesIamnohandatphilosophy。I

confessthatIhastenedhereforthesakeofthewomen。“

“AssoonasyouburiedMarfaPetrovna？”

“Quiteso,“Svidrigailovsmiledwithengagingcandour。“Whatofit?Youseemtofindsomethingwronginmyspeakinglikethataboutwomen？”

“YouaskwhetherIfindanythingwronginvice？”

“Vice!Oh,that\'swhatyouareafter!ButI\'llansweryouinorder,firstaboutwomeningeneral;youknowIamfondoftalking。

Tellme,whatshouldIrestrainmyselffor?WhyshouldIgiveupwomen,sinceIhaveapassionforthem?It\'sanoccupation,anyway。“

“Soyouhopefornothingherebutvice？”

“Oh,verywell,forvicethen。Youinsistonitsbeingvice。ButanywayIlikeadirectquestion。Inthisviceatleastthereissomethingpermanent,foundedindeeduponnatureandnotdependentonfantasy,somethingpresentinthebloodlikeanever-burningember,foreversettingoneonfireandmaybe,nottobequicklyextinguished,evenwithyears。You\'llagreeit\'sanoccupationofasort。“

“That\'snothingtorejoiceat,it\'sadiseaseandadangerousone。“

“Oh,that\'swhatyouthink,isit?Iagree,thatitisadiseaselikeeverythingthatexceedsmoderation。And,ofcourse,inthisonemustexceedmoderation。Butinthefirstplace,everybodydoessoinonewayoranother,andinthesecondplace,ofcourse,oneoughttobemoderateandprudent,howevermeanitmaybe,butwhatamItodo?IfIhadn\'tthis,Imighthavetoshootmyself。Iamreadytoadmitthatadecentmanoughttoputupwithbeingbored,butyet……“

“Andcouldyoushootyourself？”

“Oh,come！”Svidrigailovparriedwithdisgust。“Pleasedon\'tspeakofit,“headdedhurriedlyandwithnoneofthebraggingtonehehadshowninallthepreviousconversation。Hisfacequitechanged。“I

admitit\'sanunpardonableweakness,butIcan\'thelpit。IamafraidofdeathandIdislikeitsbeingtalkedof。DoyouknowthatIamtoacertainextentamystic？”

“Ah,theapparitionsofMarfaPetrovna!Dotheystillgoonvisitingyou？”

“Oh,don\'ttalkofthem;therehavebeennomoreinPetersburg,confoundthem！”hecriedwithanairofirritation。“Let\'srathertalkofthat……though……H\'m!Ihavenotmuchtime,andcan\'tstaylongwithyou,it\'sapity!Ishouldhavefoundplentytotellyou。“

“What\'syourengagement,awoman？”

“Yes,awoman,acasualincident……No,that\'snotwhatIwanttotalkof。“

“Andthehideousness,thefilthinessofallyoursurroundings,doesn\'tthataffectyou?Haveyoulostthestrengthtostopyourself？”

“Anddoyoupretendtostrength,too?He-he-he!Yousurprisedmejustnow,RodionRomanovitch,thoughIknewbeforehanditwouldbeso。

Youpreachtomeaboutviceandaesthetics!You-aSchiller,you-anidealist!Ofcoursethat\'sallasitshouldbeanditwouldbesurprisingifitwerenotso,yetitisstrangeinreality……Ah,whatapityIhavenotime,foryou\'reamostinterestingtype!Andby-the-way,areyoufondofSchiller?Iamawfullyfondofhim。“

“Butwhatabraggartyouare,“Raskolnikovsaidwithsomedisgust。

“Uponmyword,Iamnot,“answeredSvidrigailovlaughing。

“However,Iwon\'tdisputeit,letmebeabraggart,whynotbrag,ifithurtsnoone?IspentsevenyearsinthecountrywithMarfaPetrovna,sonowwhenIcomeacrossanintelligentpersonlikeyou-

intelligentandhighlyinteresting-Iamsimplygladtotalkandbesides,I\'vedrunkthathalf-glassofchampagneandit\'sgonetomyheadalittle。Andbesides,there\'sacertainfactthathaswoundmeuptremendously,butaboutthatI……willkeepquiet。Whereareyouoffto？”heaskedinalarm。

Raskolnikovhadbegungettingup。Hefeltoppressedandstifledand,asitwere,illateaseathavingcomehere。HefeltconvincedthatSvidrigailovwasthemostworthlessscoundrelonthefaceoftheearth。

“A-ach!Sitdown,stayalittle！”Svidrigailovbegged。“Letthembringyousometea,anyway。Stayalittle,Iwon\'ttalknonsense,aboutmyself,Imean。I\'lltellyousomething。IfyoulikeI\'lltellyouhowawomantried\'tosave\'me,asyouwouldcallit?Itwillbeananswertoyourfirstquestionindeed,forthewomanwasyoursister。MayItellyou?Itwillhelptospendthetime。“

“Tellme,butItrustthatyou……“

“Oh,don\'tbeuneasy。Besides,eveninaworthlesslowfellowlikeme,AvdotyaRomanovnacanonlyexcitethedeepestrespect。“

ChapterFour“YOUknowperhaps-yes,Itoldyoumyself,“beganSvidrigailov,“thatIwasinthedebtors\'prisonhere,foranimmensesum,andhadnotanyexpectationofbeingabletopayit。There\'snoneedtogointoparticularsofhowMarfaPetrovnaboughtmeout;doyouknowtowhatapointofinsanityawomancansometimeslove?Shewasanhonestwoman,andverysensible,althoughcompletelyuneducated。Wouldyoubelievethatthishonestandjealouswoman,aftermanyscenesofhystericsandreproaches,condescendedtoenterintoakindofcontractwithmewhichshekeptthroughoutourmarriedlife?ShewasconsiderablyolderthanI,andbesides,shealwayskeptacloveorsomethinginhermouth。Therewassomuchswinishnessinmysoulandhonestytoo,ofasort,astotellherstraightoutthatIcouldn\'tbeabsolutelyfaithfultoher。Thisconfessiondrovehertofrenzy,butyetsheseemsinawaytohavelikedmybrutalfrankness。ShethoughtitshowedIwasunwillingtodeceiveherifIwarnedherlikethisbeforehandandforajealouswoman,youknow,that\'sthefirstconsideration。Aftermanytearsanunwrittencontractwasdrawnupbetweenus：first,thatIwouldneverleaveMarfaPetrovnaandwouldalwaysbeherhusband;secondly,thatIwouldneverabsentmyselfwithoutherpermission;thirdly,thatIwouldneversetupapermanentmistress;fourthly,inreturnforthis,MarfaPetrovnagavemeafreehandwiththemaidservants,butonlywithhersecretknowledge;fifthly,Godforbidmyfallinginlovewithawomanofourclass;sixthly,incaseI-whichGodforbid-shouldbevisitedbyagreatseriouspassionIwasboundtorevealittoMarfaPetrovna。

Onthislastscore,however,MarfaPetrovnawasfairlyatease。Shewasasensiblewomanandsoshecouldnothelplookinguponmeasadissoluteprofligateincapableofreallove。Butasensiblewomanandajealouswomanaretwoverydifferentthings,andthat\'swherethetroublecamein。Buttojudgesomepeopleimpartiallywemustrenouncecertainpreconceivedopinionsandourhabitualattitudetotheordinarypeopleaboutus。Ihavereasontohavefaithinyourjudgmentratherthaninanyone\'s。PerhapsyouhavealreadyheardagreatdealthatwasridiculousandabsurdaboutMarfaPetrovna。Shecertainlyhadsomeveryridiculousways,butItellyoufranklythatI

feelreallysorryfortheinnumerablewoesofwhichIwasthecause。

Well,andthat\'senough,Ithink,bywayofadecorousoraisonfunebreforthemosttenderwifeofamosttenderhusband。Whenwequarrelled,Iusuallyheldmytongueanddidnotirritateherandthatgentlemanlyconductrarelyfailedtoattainitsobject,itinfluencedher,itpleasedher,indeed。Theseweretimeswhenshewaspositivelyproudofme。Butyoursistershecouldn\'tputupwith,anyway。Andhowevershecametorisktakingsuchabeautifulcreatureintoherhouseasagoverness!MyexplanationisthatMarfaPetrovnawasanardentandimpressionablewomanandsimplyfellinloveherself-literallyfellinlove-withyoursister。Well,littlewonder-lookatAvdotyaRomanovna!Isawthedangeratthefirstglanceandwhatdoyouthink,Iresolvednottolookathereven。ButAvdotyaRomanovnaherselfmadethefirststep,wouldyoubelieveit?WouldyoubelieveittoothatMarfaPetrovnawaspositivelyangrywithmeatfirstformypersistentsilenceaboutyoursister,formycarelessreceptionofhercontinualadoringpraisesofAvdotyaRomanovna。Idon\'tknowwhatitwasshewanted!Well,ofcourse,MarfaPetrovnatoldAvdotyaRomanovnaeverydetailaboutme。Shehadtheunfortunatehabitoftellingliterallyeveryoneallourfamilysecretsandcontinuallycomplainingofme;howcouldshefailtoconfideinsuchadelightfulnewfriend?IexpecttheytalkedofnothingelsebutmeandnodoubtAvdotyaRomanovnaheardallthosedarkmysteriousrumoursthatwerecurrentaboutme……Idon\'tmindbettingthatyoutoohaveheardsomethingofthesortalready？”

“Ihave。Luzhinchargedyouwithhavingcausedthedeathofachild。

Isthattrue？”

“Don\'trefertothosevulgartales,Ibeg,“saidSvidrigailovwithdisgustandannoyance。“Ifyouinsistonwantingtoknowaboutallthatidiocy,Iwilltellyouoneday,butnow……“

“Iwastoldtooaboutsomefootmanofyoursinthecountrywhomyoutreatedbadly。“

“Ibegyoutodropthesubject,“Svidrigailovinterruptedagainwithobviousimpatience。

“Wasthatthefootmanwhocametoyouafterdeathtofillyourpipe?……youtoldmeaboutityourself,“Raskolnikovfeltmoreandmoreirritated。

SvidrigailovlookedathimattentivelyandRaskolnikovfanciedhecaughtaflashofspitefulmockeryinthatlook。ButSvidrigailovrestrainedhimselfandansweredverycivilly。

“Yes,itwas。Iseethatyou,too,areextremelyinterestedandshallfeelitmydutytosatisfyyourcuriosityatthefirstopportunity。Uponmysoul!IseethatIreallymightpassforaromanticfigurewithsomepeople。JudgehowgratefulImustbetoMarfaPetrovnaforhavingrepeatedtoAvdotyaRomanovnasuchmysteriousandinterestinggossipaboutme。Idarenotguesswhatimpressionitmadeonher,butinanycaseitworkedinmyinterests。WithallAvdotyaRomanovna\'snaturalaversionandinspiteofmyinvariablygloomyandrepellentaspect-shedidatleastfeelpityforme,pityforalostsoul。Andifonceagirl\'sheartismovedtopity,it\'smoredangerousthananything。Sheisboundtowantto\'savehim,\'tobringhimtohissenses,andlifthimupanddrawhimtonobleraims,andrestorehimtonewlifeandusefulness,-well,weallknowhowfarsuchdreamscango。Isawatoncethatthebirdwasflyingintothecageofherself。AndItoomadeready。Ithinkyouarefrowning,RodionRomanovitch?There\'snoneed。Asyouknow,itallendedinsmoke。(Hangitall,whatalotI

amdrinking!)Doyouknow,Ialways,fromtheverybeginning,regrettedthatitwasn\'tyoursister\'sfatetobeborninthesecondorthirdcenturyA。D。,asthedaughterofareigningprinceorsomegovernororproconsulinAsiaMinor。Shewouldundoubtedlyhavebeenoneofthosewhowouldenduremartyrdomandwouldhavesmiledwhentheybrandedherbosomwithhotpincers。Andshewouldhavegonetoitofherself。AndinthefourthorfifthcenturyshewouldhavewalkedawayintotheEgyptiandesertandwouldhavestayedtherethirtyyearslivingonrootsandecstasiesandvisions。Sheissimplythirstingtofacesometortureforsomeone,andifshecan\'tgethertorture,she\'llthrowherselfoutofawindow。I\'veheardsomethingofaMr。

Razumihin-he\'ssaidtobeasensiblefellow;hissurnamesuggestsit,indeed。He\'sprobablyadivinitystudent。Well,he\'dbetterlookafteryoursister!IbelieveIunderstandher,andIamproudofit。Butatthebeginningofanacquaintance,asyouknow,oneisapttobemoreheedlessandstupid。Onedoesn\'tseeclearly。Hangitall,whyisshesohandsome?It\'snotmyfault。Infact,itbeganonmysidewithamostirresistiblephysicaldesire。AvdotyaRomanovnaisawfullychaste,incrediblyandphenomenallyso。Takenote,Itellyouthisaboutyoursisterasafact。Sheisalmostmorbidlychaste,inspiteofherbroadintelligence,anditwillstandinherway。Therehappenedtobeagirlinthehousethen,Parasha,a。black-eyedwench,whomIhadneverseenbefore-shehadjustcomefromanothervillage-verypretty,butincrediblystupid：sheburstintotears,wailedsothatshecouldbeheardallovertheplaceandcausedscandal。OnedayafterdinnerAvdotyaRomanovnafollowedmeintoanavenueinthegardenandwithflashingeyesinsistedonmyleavingpoorParashaalone。Itwasalmostourfirstconversationbyourselves。

I,ofcourse,wasonlytoopleasedtoobeyherwishes,triedtoappeardisconcerted,embarrassed,infactplayedmypartnotbadly。Thencameinterviews,mysteriousconversations,exhortations,entreaties,supplications,eventears-wouldyoubelieveit,eventears?Thinkwhatthepassionforpropagandawillbringsomegirlsto!I,ofcourse,threwitallonmydestiny,posedashungeringandthirstingforlight,andfinallyresortedtothemostpowerfulweaponinthesubjectionofthefemaleheart,aweaponwhichneverfailsone。It\'sthewell-knownresource-flattery。Nothingintheworldisharderthanspeakingthetruthandnothingeasierthanflattery。Ifthere\'sthehundredthpartofafalsenoteinspeakingthetruth,itleadstoadiscord,andthatleadstotrouble。Butifall,tothelastnote,isfalseinflattery,itisjustasagreeable,andisheardnotwithoutsatisfaction。Itmaybeacoarsesatisfaction,butstillasatisfaction。Andhowevercoarsetheflattery,atleasthalfwillbesuretoseemtrue。That\'ssoforallstagesofdevelopmentandclassesofsociety。Avestalvirginmightbeseducedbyflattery。IcanneverrememberwithoutlaughterhowIonceseducedaladywhowasdevotedtoherhusband,herchildren,andherprinciples。Whatfunitwasandhowlittletrouble!Andtheladyreallyhadprinciples,ofherown,anyway。Allmytacticslayinsimplybeingutterlyannihilatedandprostratebeforeherpurity。Iflatteredhershamelessly,andassoonasIsucceededingettingapressureofthehand,evenaglancefromher,Iwouldreproachmyselfforhavingsnatcheditbyforce,andwoulddeclarethatshehadresisted,sothatIcouldneverhavegainedanythingbutformybeingsounprincipled。I

maintainedthatshewassoinnocentthatshecouldnotforeseemytreachery,andyieldedtomeunconsciously,unawares,andsoon。Infact,Itriumphed,whilemyladyremainedfirmlyconvincedthatshewasinnocent,chaste,andfaithfultoallherdutiesandobligationsandhadsuccumbedquitebyaccident。AndhowangryshewaswithmewhenIexplainedtoheratlastthatitwasmysincereconvictionthatshewasjustaseagerasI。PoorMarfaPetrovnawasawfullyweakonthesideofflattery,andifIhadonlycaredto,Imighthavehadallherpropertysettledonmeduringherlifetime。(Iamdrinkinganawfullotofwinenowandtalkingtoomuch。)Ihopeyouwon\'tbeangryifImentionnowthatIwasbeginningtoproducethesameeffectonAvdotyaRomanovna。ButIwasstupidandimpatientandspoileditall。AvdotyaRomanovnahadseveraltimes-andonetimeinparticular-beengreatlydispleasedbytheexpressionofmyeyes,wouldyoubelieveit?Therewassometimesalightinthemwhichfrightenedherandgrewstrongerandstrongerandmoreunguardedtillitwashatefultoher。Noneedtogointodetail,butweparted。ThereIactedstupidlyagain。Ifelltojeeringinthecoarsestwayatallsuchpropagandaandeffortstoconvertme;Parashacameontothesceneagain,andnotshealone;infacttherewasatremendousto-do。Ah,RodionRomanovitch,ifyoucouldonlyseehowyoursister\'seyescanflashsometimes!Nevermindmybeingdrunkatthismomentandhavinghadawholeglassofwine。Iamspeakingthetruth。Iassureyouthatthisglancehashauntedmydreams;theveryrustleofherdresswasmorethanIcouldstandatlast。IreallybegantothinkthatImightbecomeepileptic。IcouldneverhavebelievedthatIcouldbemovedtosuchafrenzy。Itwasessential,indeed,tobereconciled,butbythenitwasimpossible。AndimaginewhatIdidthen!Towhatapitchofstupidityamancanbebroughtbyfrenzy!Neverundertakeanythinginafrenzy,RodionRomanovitch。I

reflectedthatAvdotyaRomanovnawasafterallabeggar(ach,excuseme,that\'snottheword……butdoesitmatterifitexpressesthemeaning?),thatshelivedbyherwork,thatshehadhermotherand,youtokeep(ach,hangit,youarefrowningagain),andIresolvedtoofferherallmymoney-thirtythousandroublesIcouldhaverealisedthen-ifshewouldrunawaywithmehere,toPetersburg。OfcourseIshouldhavevowedeternallove,rapture,andsoon。Doyouknow,IwassowildaboutheratthattimethatifshehadtoldmetopoisonMarfaPetrovnaortocutherthroatandtomarryherself,itwouldhavebeendoneatonce!Butitendedinthecatastropheofwhichyouknowalready。YoucanfancyhowfranticIwaswhenIheardthatMarfaPetrovnahadgotholdofthatscoundrellyattorney,Luzhin,andhadalmostmadeamatchbetweenthem-whichwouldreallyhavebeenjustthesamethingasIwasproposing。Wouldn\'tit?Wouldn\'tit?I

noticethatyou\'vebeguntobeveryattentive……youinterestingyoungman……“

Svidrigailovstruckthetablewithhisfistimpatiently。Hewasflushed。Raskolnikovsawclearlythattheglassorglassandahalfofchampagnethathehadsippedalmostunconsciouslywasaffectinghim-

andheresolvedtotakeadvantageoftheopportunity。HefeltverysuspiciousofSvidrigailov。

“Well,afterwhatyouhavesaid,IamfullyconvincedthatyouhavecometoPetersburgwithdesignsonmysister,“hesaiddirectlytoSvidrigailov,inordertoirritatehimfurther。

“Oh,nonsense,“saidSvidrigailov,seemingtorousehimself。“Why,I

toldyou……besidesyoursistercan\'tendureme。“

“Yes,Iamcertainthatshecan\'t,butthat\'snotthepoint。“

“Areyousosurethatshecan\'t？”Svidrigailovscreweduphiseyesandsmiledmockingly。“Youareright,shedoesn\'tloveme,butyoucanneverbesureofwhathaspassedbetweenhusbandandwifeorloverandmistress。There\'salwaysalittlecornerwhichremainsasecrettotheworldandisonlyknowntothosetwo。WillyouanswerforitthatAvdotyaRomanovnaregardedmewithaversion？”

“Fromsomewordsyou\'vedropped,Inoticethatyoustillhavedesigns-andofcourseevilones-onDouniaandmeantocarrythemoutpromptly。“

“What,haveIdroppedwordslikethat？”Svidrigailovaskedinnaivedismay,takingnottheslightestnoticeoftheepithetbestowedonhisdesigns。

“Why,youaredroppingthemevennow。Whyareyousofrightened?

Whatareyousoafraidofnow？”

“Me-afraid?Afraidofyou?Youhaverathertobeafraidofme,cherami。Butwhatnonsense……I\'vedrunktoomuchthough,Iseethat。I

wasalmostsayingtoomuchagain。Damnthewine!Hi!there,water！”

Hesnatchedupthechampagnebottleandflungitwithoutceremonyoutofthewindow。Philipbroughtthewater。

“That\'sallnonsense！”saidSvidrigailov,wettingatowelandputtingittohishead。“ButIcanansweryouinonewordandannihilateallyoursuspicions。DoyouknowthatIamgoingtogetmarried？”

“Youtoldmesobefore。“

“DidI?I\'veforgotten。ButIcouldn\'thavetoldyousoforcertainforIhadnotevenseenmybetrothed;Ionlymeantto。ButnowIreallyhaveabetrothedandit\'sasettledthing,andifitweren\'tthatIhavebusinessthatcan\'tbeputoff,Iwouldhavetakenyoutoseethematonce,forIshouldliketoaskyouradvice。Ach,hangit,onlytenminutesleft!See,lookatthewatch。ButImusttellyou,forit\'saninterestingstory,mymarriage,initsownway。Whereareyouoffto?Goingagain？”

“No,I\'mnotgoingawaynow。“

“Notatall?Weshallsee。I\'lltakeyouthere,I\'llshowyoumybetrothed,onlynotnow。Foryou\'llsoonhavetobeoff。YouhavetogototherightandItotheleft。DoyouknowthatMadameResslich,thewomanIamlodgingwithnow,eh?Iknowwhatyou\'rethinking,thatshe\'sthewomanwhosegirltheysaydrownedherselfinthewinter。

Come,areyoulistening?Shearrangeditallforme。You\'rebored,shesaid,youwantsomethingtofillupyourtime。For,youknow,Iamagloomy,depressedperson。DoyouthinkI\'mlight-hearted?No,I\'mgloomy。Idonoharm,butsitinacornerwithoutspeakingawordforthreedaysatatime。AndthatResslichisaslyhussy,Itellyou。Iknowwhatshehasgotinhermind;shethinksIshallgetsickofit,abandonmywifeanddepart,andshe\'llgetholdofherandmakeaprofitoutofher-inourclass,ofcourse,orhigher。Shetoldmethefatherwasabroken-downretiredofficial,whohasbeensittinginachairforthelastthreeyearswithhislegsparalysed。Themamma,shesaid,wasasensiblewoman。Thereisasonservingintheprovinces,buthedoesn\'thelp;thereisadaughter,whoismarried,butshedoesn\'tvisitthem。Andthey\'vetwolittlenephewsontheirhands,asthoughtheirownchildrenwerenotenough,andthey\'vetakenfromschooltheiryoungestdaughter,agirlwho\'llbesixteeninanothermonth,sothatthenshecanbemarried。Shewasforme。Wewentthere。Howfunnyitwas!Ipresentmyself-alandowner,awidower,ofawell-knownname,withconnections,withafortune。

WhatifIamfiftyandsheisnotsixteen?Whothinksofthat?Butit\'sfascinating,isn\'tit?Itisfascinating,ha-ha!YoushouldhaveseenhowItalkedtothepapaandmamma。Itwasworthpayingtohaveseenmeatthatmoment。Shecomesin,curtseys,youcanfancy,stillinashortfrock-anunopenedbud!Flushinglikeasunset-shehadbeentold,nodoubt。Idon\'tknowhowyoufeelaboutfemalefaces,buttomymindthesesixteenyears,thesechildisheyes,shynessandtearsofbashfulnessarebetterthanbeauty;andsheisaperfectlittlepicture,too。Fairhairinlittlecurls,likealamb\'s,fulllittlerosylips,tinyfeet,acharmer!……Well,wemadefriends。I

toldthemIwasinahurryowingtodomesticcircumstances,andthenextday,thatisthedaybeforeyesterday,wewerebetrothed。WhenIgonowItakeheronmykneeatonceandkeepherthere……Well,sheflusheslikeasunsetandIkisshereveryminute。Hermammaofcourseimpressesonherthatthisisherhusbandandthatthismustbeso。It\'ssimplydelicious!Thepresentbetrothedconditionisperhapsbetterthanmarriage。Hereyouhavewhatiscalledlanatureetlaverite,ha-ha!I\'vetalkedtohertwice,sheisfarfromafool。