第2章

Andyouarenothingbutaditch。

No，myfriend，Lucywilldrivewithyou，andtotalktoyou，andsingyoursongs；shewilltakecareofyou，andprayforyou，andcrywhenyougotothewar；ifsheisnotyourdaughteroryoursister，shewill，perhaps，inamomentofweaknessorinsanity，marryyou；shewillbeafaithfulwife，andfloatyoutotheend；butifyouwishtobeherlove，herhero，herideal，herdelight，herspontaneity，herutterrestandultimatum，youmustattuneyoursoultofineissues，——youmustbringouttheangelinyou，andkeepthebruteunder。

Itisnotthatyoushallstopmakingshoes，andbegintowritepoetry。Thatisjustasmuchdiscriminationasyouhave。Tellyoutobegentle，andyouthinkwewillhaveyoudissolveintomilk-and-water；tellyoutobepolite，andyouinferhypocrisy；

tobeneat，andyouleapoverintodandyism，fancyingallthewhilethatblusterismanliness。No，sir。Youmaymakeshoes，youmayrunengines，youmaycarrycoals；youmayblowthehuntsman\'shorn，hurlthebase-ball，followtheplough，smitetheanvil；yourfacemaybebrown，yourveinsknotted，yourhandsgrimed；andyetyoumaybeahero。And，ontheotherhand，youmaywriteversesandbeaclown。Itisnotnecessarytofeedonambrosiainordertobecomedivine；norshallonebeaccursed，thoughhedrinkoftheninefoldStyx。TheIsraelitesateangels\'foodinthewilderness，andremainedstiff-neckedanduncircumcisedinheartandears。Thewhitewater-lilyfeedsonslime，andunfoldsaheavenlyglory。ComeastheJunemorningcomes。Ithasnotpickeditswaydaintily，passingonlyamongtheroses。Ithasbreathedupthewholeearth。Ithasblownthroughthefieldsandbarnyardsandallthecommonplacesoftheland。Ithasshrunkfromnothing。

Itspurityhasbreastedandoverborneallthings，andsomingledandharmonizedallthatitsweepsaroundyourforeheadandsinksintoyourheartassoftandsweetandpureasthefragrancyofParadise。Socomeyou，roughfromtheworld\'sroughwork，allout-doorairsblowingaroundyou，andallyourearth-smellsclingingtoyou，butwithafineinwardgrace，sostrong，sosweet，sosalubriousthatitmeetsandmastersallthings，blendingeveryfaintestorfoulestodorofearthlinessintothegratefulincenseofapureandloftylife。

ThusIreadandmusedinthesoftsummerfog，andthefirstI

knewthecarshadstopped，Iwasstandingontheplatform，andCoventryandhisknightwere——where？WanderingupanddownsomewhereamongtheBerkshirehills。Atsomejunctionofroads，Isuppose，Ileftthemonthecushion，forIhaveneverbeheldthemsince。Tellme，OyedaughtersofBerkshire！haveyouseenthem，——aprincelypair，sorewearyinyourmountain-land，butregalstill，throughalltheirtravel-stain？Iprayyou，entreatthemhospitably，fortheirmissionis"notofanage，butforalltime。"

PARTII。

ThedescentfromPatmoreandpoetrytoNewYorkissomewhatabrupt，nottosayprecipitous，butwemadeitinsafety；andsoshallyou，ifyouwillbeagile。

NewYorkisapleasantlittleDutchcity，onadotofislandafewmilessouthwestofMassachusetts。Foracityentirelyunobtrusiveandunpretending，ithasreallygreatattractionsandsolidmerit；butthesuperiorimportanceofotherplaceswillnotpermitmetotarrylongwithinitshospitablewalls。

Infact，weonlyarrivedlateatnight，anddepartedearlythenextmorning；butevenasix-hourssojourngavemeasolemnand"realizingsense"ofitsmarkedworth，——for，when，tiredandlistless，Iaskedforaservanttoassistme，thewaitersaidhewouldsendthehousekeeper。Accordingly，when，afewmomentsafter，itknockedatthedoorwithlight，lightfinger，(seeDelaMotteFouque，)Idrawled，"Comein，"andtheQueenofShebastoodbeforeme，cladinpurpleandfinelinen，withringsonherfingersandbellsonhertoes。Istaredindismay，andperceivedmyselfrapidlytransmigratingintoaridiculusmus。Mygrayanddingytravelling-dressgrewabject，andburnedintomysoulliketunicofNessus。IshouldassoonhavethoughtofaskingQueenVictoriatobrushoutmyhairasthatfineladyinbrocadesilkandMechlinlace。Butshewasgoodandgracious，anddidnotannihilatemeonthespot，assheeasilyhavedone，forwhichIshallthankheraslongasIlive。

"Yousentforme？"sheinquired，withtheblandestaccentsimaginable。Ican\'ttellalie，pa，——youknowIcan\'ttellalie；besides，Ihadnottimetomakeupone，andIsaid，"Yes，"

andthen，ofallstupiddevicesthatcouldfilterintomybrain，ImustneedsstammeroutthatIshouldlikeafewmatches！Aprettythingtobringadowagerduchessupninepairsofstairsfor！

"Iwillringthebell，"shesaid，withatender，reproachfulsweetnessanddignity，whichconveyedwithoutunkindnesstheseverestrebuketemperedbywomanlypity，andproceededtoinstructmeinthenatureandusesofthebell-rope，asshewouldanylittledairy-maidwhohadheardonlythechimeofcow-bellsallthedaysofherlife。Thenshesailedoutoftheroom，sereneandmajestic，likeaseventy-fourman-of-war，whileI，asqualid，salt-haygunlow，(Venetianblind-edintogondola，)firstsankdowninconfusion，andthenroseupinfuryandbrushedallthehairoutofmyhead。

"Ideclare，"IsaidtoHalicarnassus，whenwewerefairlybeyondear-shotofthecitynextmorning，"Idon\'tapproveofsumptuarylaws，andIlikeAmericatobetheElDoradoofthepoorman，andIgoforthelargestlibertyoftheindividual；

butIdothinkthereoughttobeaclauseintheConstitutionprovidingthatservantsshallnotbedressedandeducatedandaccomplisheduptothepointofmakingpeopleuncomfortable。"

"No，"saidHalicarnassus，sleepily；"perhapsitwasn\'taservant。"

"Well，"Isaid，havinglookedatitinthatlightsilentlyforhalfanhour，andcomingtothesurfaceinanotherplace，"ifIcoulddressandcarrymyselflikethat，Iwouldnotkeeptavern。"

"Oh！eh？"yawning；"whodoes？"

"Mrs。Astor。OfcoursenobodylessrichthanMrs。Astorcouldgoup-stairsanddown-stairsandinmylady\'schamberinShirazsilkandgoldofOphir。Why，Cleopatrawasnothingtoher。

Imakenodoubtsheusesgold-dustforsugarinhercoffeeeverymorning；andasforthethreemiserablelittlewherriesthatIsabellafurnishedColumbus，andhistorianshavetowedthroughtheirtomeseversince，ifyouknowofanybodythathasacontinenthewishestodiscover，sendhimtothishousekeeper，andshecanfitoutafleetoftransportsandMonitorsforconvoywithoneofherbracelets。"

"Idon\'t，"saidHalicarnassus，rubbinghiseyes。

"Ionlywish，"Iadded，"thatshewouldturnRebelsothatgovernmentmightconfiscateher。Papercurrencywouldgoupatoncefromthesuddeninfluxofgold，andthecreditofthecountryreceiveanewleaseoflife。ShemustbealinealdescendantofSirRogerdeCoverley，forsureherfingersparkleswithahundredofhisrichestacres。"

BeforebiddingafinalfarewelltoNewYork，Iventuretomakeasingleremark。IregrettobeforcedtoconfessthatI

greatlyfeareventhisvirtuouslittlecityhasnotescapedquitefree，thegeneraldeteriorationofmoralsandmanners。

TheNewYorkhackmen，forinstance，areveryobligingandattentive；butifitwouldnotseemungrateful，Iwouldhazardthestatementthattheirattentionsareunremittingtothedegreebeingalmostembarrassing，andprofferedtothevergeofobtrusiveness。Ithink，inshort，thattheyarehardlyquitedelicateintheirpoliteness。Theypresstheirhospitalityonyoutillyousighforalittlemarkedneglect。

Theyarenotcontentwithsimplestatement。Theyofferyoutheirhack，forinstance。Youdeclinewiththanks。Theysaythattheywillcarryyoutoanypartofthecity。Whereisthepertinenceofthat，ifyoudonotwishtogo？Buttheynotonlysayit，theyrepeatit，theydwelluponitasifitwereacardinalvirtue。Nowyouhaveneverexpressedorentertainedtheremotestsuspicionthattheywouldnotcarryyoutoanypartofthecity。Youhavenottheslightestintentionordesiretodiscredittheirassertion。Theonlytroubleis，asIsaidbefore，youdonotwishtogotoanypartofthecity。Veryfewpeoplehavetimetodriveaboutinthatgeneralway；andsurely，whenyouhaveoncedistinctlyinformedthemthatyoudonotdesigntoinspectNewYork，theyoughttoseeplainlythatyoucannotchangeyourwholeplanofoperationsoutofgratitudetothem，andthatthepartoftruepolitenessistowithdraw。Buttheyevengobeyondacensurableurgency；foranoldgentlemanandlady，evidentlyunaccustomedtotravelling，hadgiventhemselvesinchargeofadriver，whoplacedtheminhiscoach，leavingthedooropenwhilehewentbackseekingwhomhemightdevour。Presentlyarivalcoachmancameupandsaidtotheagedandrespectablecouple，——

"Here\'sacarriageallreadytostart。"

"But，"repliedthelady，"wehavealreadytoldthegentlemanwhodrivesthiscoachthatwewouldgowithhim。"

"Catchmetogointhatcoach，ifIwasyou！"respondedthewickedcoachman。"Why，thatcoachhashadthesmall-poxinit。"

Theladystartedupinhorror。Atthatmomentthefirstdriverappearedagain；andSatanenteredintome，andIfeltinmyheartthatIshouldliketoseeafight；andthenconsciencesteppedupanddrovehimaway，butconsoledmebytheassurancethatIshouldseethefightallthesame，forsuchduplicitydeservedtheseverestpunishment，anditwasmydutytomakeanexposeandvindicatehelplessinnocenceimposeduponinthepersonsofthatworthypair。AccordinglyIsaidtothedriver，ashepassedme，——

"Driver，thatmaninthegraycoatistryingtofrightentheoldladyandgentlemanawayfromyourcoach，bytellingthemithashadthesmall-pox。"

Oh！butdidnotthefireflashintohishonesteyes，andleapintohisswarthycheek，andnervehisbrawnyarm，andclinchhishornyfist，ashemarchedstraightwayuptothedoomedoffender，fiercelydenouncedhisdishonesty，andviolentlydemandedredress？Ah！thenandtherewashurryingtoandfro，andeagernessanddelightoneverycountenance，andaringformed，andtheprospectofalovely"row，"——andIdidit；butapolice-officersprangup，full-armed，fromsomewhereunderground，andundiditall，andenforcedareluctantpeace。

AndsoweareatSaratoga。Now，ofallplacestostayatinthesummer-time，Saratogaistheverylastonetochoose。Itmayhaveattractionsinwinter；but，ifonewishestorestandchangeandrootdownandshootupandbranchout，hemightaswelltakelodgingsinthewater-wheelofasaw-mill。Theuniformityandvarietywillbemuchthesame。Itisallanoiselesskindofdin，narrowandintense。ThereisnothinginSaratoganorofSaratogatoseeortohearortofeel。

Theytellyouofalake。Youjamintoanomnibusandridefourmiles。Thenyoustepintoacockle-shellandcircumnavigateapond，sosmallthatitalmostmakesyoudizzytosailaroundit。Thisisthelake，——averynicethingasfarasitgoes；

butwhenithastobeconstantlyondutyasthenaturalsceneryofthewholesurroundingcountry，itisputtingaltogethertoofineapointonit。ThepicturesquepeoplewillinformyouofanIndianencampment。Yougotoseeit，thinkingoftheforestprimeval，andexpectingtobetransportedbacktotomahawks，scalps，andforefathersbutyoureturnwithoutthem，andthatisall。Ineverheardofanybody\'sgoinganywhere。Infacttheredidnotseemtobeanywheretogo。Anysuggestionofminetostrikeoutintothechampaignwasfrowneddownintheseverestmanner。AsfarasIcouldsee，nobodyeverdidanything。Thereneverwasanyplanonfoot。Nothingwaseverstirring。Peoplesatonthepiazzaandsewed。Theywenttothesprings，andthespringsaredreadful。Theybubbleupsaltsandsenna。Ineverknewanythingthatpretendedtobewaterthatwashalfasbad。Ithasnooneredeemingquality。

Itisbitter。Itisgreasy。Everyspringisworsethanthelast，whicheverendyoubeginat。Theytoldapocryphalstoriesofpeople\'sdrinkingsixteenglassesbeforebreakfast；andyetitmayhavebeentrue；for，ifonecouldbringhimselftothepointofdrinkingoneglassofit，Ishouldsupposeitwouldhavetakensuchaforcetoenablehimtodoitthathemightgoondrinkingindefinitely，fromthemereactionoftheoriginalimpulse。Ishouldthinkonedoseofitwouldrenderapersonpermanentlyindifferenttosavors，andmakehim，likeMithridates，poison-proof。Nevertheless，peoplegotothespringsanddrink。Thentheygotothebowling-alleysandbowl。Intheevening，ifyouarehilariouslyinclined，youcanmakethetourofthehotels。Inoneyouseealargeandbrilliantlylightedparlor，alongthefoursidesofwhicharewomensitting，solemnandstately，inrowsthreedeep，amandroppedinhereandthere，aboutasthickasperiodsonapage，veryyoungorveryoldorinwhitecravats。Apianoorabandorsomethingthatcanmakeanoisemakesitatintervalsatoneendoftheroom。Theyalllookasiftheywaitingforsomething，butnothinginparticularhappens。Sometimes，afterthemountainhaslaboredawhile，somelittlemouseofaboyandgirlwillgetup，executeananticortwoandsitdownagain，wheneverythingrelapsesintoitsoriginalsolemnity。Atverylongintervalssomebodywalksacrossthefloor。Thereisamoderateflutteringoffansandanoccasionalwhisper。Expectationinterspersedwithgimcracksseemstobetheprogramme。ThegreaterpartofthedancingthatIsawwasdonebyboysandgirls。Itwasprettyandpainful。Nobodydancessowellaschildren；nograceisequaltotheirgrace；buttogointoahotelatteno\'clockatnight，andseelittlethings，eight，ten，twelveyearsold，whooughttobeinbedandasleep，trickedoutinflouncesandribbonsandalltheparaphernaliaofballet-girls，anddancinginthecentreofahollowsquareofstrangers，——Icallitmurderinthefirstdegree。Whatcanmothersbethinkingoftoabusetheirchildrenso？Childrenarenaturallyhealthyandsimple；whyshouldtheybespoiled？Theywillhavetoplungeintotheworldfullsoonenough；whyshouldtheworldbeplungedintothem？Physically，mentally，andmorally，theinnocentsaremassacred。NightafternightIsawthesamechildrenledouttotheslaughter，andasIlookedIsawtheirround，redcheeksgrowthinandwhite，theirdelicatenerveslosetoneandtension，theirbrainsbecomefeebleandflabby，theirmindsflutteroutweaklyinmuslinandribbons，theirvanitykindledbyinjudiciousadmiration，thesweetchild-unconsciousnesswitheringawayintheglareofindiscriminategazing，theinnocenceandsimplicityandnaturalnessandchildlikenessswallowedupinaseethingwhirlpoolofartificialness，allthefine，goldenbutterfly-dustofmodestyanddelicacyandretiringgirlhoodruthlesslyrubbedoffforeverbeforegirlhoodhadevenreddenedfromthedimdawnofinfancy。Oh！itiscrueltosacrificechildrenso。Whatcanatoneforalostchildhood？Whatcanbegiveninrecompensefortheethereal，spontaneous，sharplydefined，new，delicioussensationsofasheltered，untainted，openinglife？

Thoroughlyworkedintoawhiteheatofindignation，weleavethebabesinthewoodtobedespatchedbytheirruffianrelatives，andgotootherhotel。Alargerparlor，largerrows，butstillthreedeepandsolemn。Atallman，withafaceinwhichmelancholyseemstobegivingwaytodespair，amanmostproperforanundertaker，butpalpablyoutofplaceinadrawing-room，walksupanddownincessantly，butnoiselessly，inapersistentendeavortobringoutadance。Nowhefastensuponanewlyarrivedman。Nowheplantshimselfbeforeabenchofmisses。Youcanhearthelowrumbleofhisexhortationandthetitteringreplies。Afteraperseveringcourseofentreatyandpersuasion，asetisdrafted，themusicgalvanizes，andthedancebegins。

Iliketoseepeopledowiththeirmightwhatsoevertheirhandsortheirtonguesortheirfeetfindtodo。Ahalf-and-halfperformanceoftherightisjustaboutasmischievousastheperpetrationofthewrong。Itisvacillation，hesitation，lackofwill，feeblenessofpurpose，imperfectexecution，thatworksillinalllife。Bemonarchofallyousurvey。Ifawomandecidestodoherownhousework，lethergoinroyallyamongherpotsandkettles，andseteverythinga-stewingandbakingandbroilingandboiling，asaqueenmight。Ifshedecidesnottodohousework，buttosuperintenditsdoing，lethersaytoherservant，"Go，"andhegoeth，toanother，"Come，"andhecometh，toathird，"Dothis，"andhedoethit，andnotpotterabout。So，whengirlsgetthemselvesupandgotoSaratogaforaregularcampaign，lettheirbearingbesoldierly。Letthembegaywithabandonment。Letthemtakeholdofitasiftheylikedit。Idonotaffectthewordflirtation，butthethingitselfisnothalfsocriminalasonewouldthinkfromtheanimadversionsvisiteduponit。Ofcourse，adeliberatesettingyourselftoworktomakesomeonefallinlovewithyou，forthemerepurposeofshowingyourpower，isabominable，——orwouldbe，ifanybodyeverdidit；butIdonotsupposeiteverwasdone，exceptinfifth-ratenovels。WhatImeanis，thatitisentertaining，harmless，andbeneficialforyoungpeopletoamusethemselveswitheachothertothetopoftheirbent，iftheirbentisanaturalandrightone。Afewheartsmaysufferaccidental，transientinjury；butheartsarelikelimbs，allthestrongerforbeingbroken。Besides，whereonemanorwomanisinjuredbylovingtoomuch，ninehundredandninety-ninediethedeathfromnotlovingenough。ButtheseSaratogagirlsdidneitheronethingnoranother。Theydressedthemselvesintheirbest，makingapointofit，andfailed。Theyassembledthemselvestogetherofsetpurposetobelively，andtheywereinfectiouslydismal。Theydidnotdresswell:onelookedrustic；anotherwasdowdyish；athirdwasover-fine；afourthwasinsignificant。Theirbearingwasnotgood，inthemain。Theydanced，andwhispered，andlaughed，andlookedlikemilkmaids。Theyhadnostyle，nofigure。Theirshoulderswerehigh，andtheirchestswereflat，andtheywereone-sided，andtheystooped，——allofwhichwouldhavebeennoaccount，iftheyhadonlybeenunconsciouslyenjoyingthemselves:buttheyconsciouslywerenot。Itispossiblethattheythoughttheywerehappy，butIknewbetter。

Youareneverhappy，unlessyouaremasterofthesituation；

andtheywerenot。Theyendeavoredtoappearatease，——athingwhichpeoplewhoareateaseneverdo。TheylookedasiftheyhadalltheirlivesbeenmeaningtogotoSaratoga，andnowtheyhadgotthereandweredeterminednottobetrayanyunwontedness。

Itwasnotthetimid，eager，delighted，fascinating，gracefulawkwardnessofanewyounggirl；itwasnotthecareless，hearty，whole-souledenjoymentofanexperiencedgirl；itwasnotthenatural，indifferent，imperialqueeningitofanacknowledgedmonarch:butsomethingthatcaughtholdofthehemofthegarmentofthemall。Itwastheywiththesheendampedoff。

Soitwasnotimposing。Icouldpickyouupadozengirlsstraightalong，rightoutofthepantriesandthebutteries，rightupfromthewashing-tubsandthesewing-machines，whoshouldbeabundantlyableto"hoetheirrow"withthemanywhere。

Inshort，Iwasextremelydisappointed。Iexpectedtoseethehighfashion，theverybirthandbreeding，thecreamcheeseofthecountry，anditwasskim-milk。Ifthatisbirth，onecandoquiteaswellwithoutbeingbornatall。Occasionallyyouwouldseeagirlwithgentlebloodinherveins，whetheritwerebutcher-bloodorbanker-blood，butsheonlymadetheprevailingplebsinessmorestriking。NowImaintainthatawomanoughttobeveryhandsomeorveryclever，orelsesheoughttogotoworkanddosomething。Beautyisofitselfadivinegiftandadequate。

"Beautyisitsownexcuseforbeing"anywhere。Itoughtnottobefencedinormonopolized，anymorethanastatueoramountain。Itoughttobefreeandcommon，abenedictiontoallwearywayfarers。Itcanneverbeprofaned；foritveilsitselffromtheunappreciativeeye，andshinesonlyuponitsworshippers。

Soacleverwoman，whethershebeapainterorateacheroradress-maker，——ifshereallyhasanobjectinlife，acareer，sheissafe。Sheisapower。Shecommandsarealm。Sheownsaworld。Sheisbringingthingstobear。Letheralone。Butitisaverydangerousandaverymelancholythingcommonwomentobe"lyingontheiroars"longatatime。Someofthesewere，I

suppose，whatWinthropcalls"business-women，fightingtheirwayoutofvulgarityintostyle。"Theprocessisratheruninteresting，buttheresultmaybeglorious。Yetagoodmanyofthemweregoodhonest，kind，commongirls，onlydemoralizedbylonglyingaroundinawaitingposture。Ithadtakenthefireandsparkleoutofthem。Theywerenotinahealthystate。Theyweredegraded，contracted，flaccid。Theydidnotholdthemselveshigh。Theyknewthatinamarket-pointofviewtherewasafrightfulglutofwomen。Theusuallysmallratioofmenwasunusuallydiminishedbytheabsenceofthosewhogonetothewar，andofthosewho，aswascurrentlyreported，wereashamedthattheyhadnotgone。Afewavailablemenhaditalltheirownway；

thewomenwereonthelookoutforthem，insteadofbeingthemselveslookedoutfor。Theytalkedabout"gentlemen，"andbeing"companionabletoGEN-tlemen，"andwhowas"fascinatingtoGEN-tlemen，"tillthe"grandoldnamebecameanuisance。

Therewasanunder-currentofunsatedcoquetry。Idon\'tsupposetheywereanysillierthantherestofus；butwhenoursillinessismixedinwithhousekeepingandsewingandteachingandreturningvisits，itpassesoffharmless。Whenitisstrippedofallthesemodifiers，however，andgoesoffexposedtoSaratoga，andmeltsinwithahundredothersillinesses，itmakesagreatshow。

No，Idon\'tlikeSaratoga。Idon\'tthinkitiswholesome。Noplacecanbehealthythatkeepsupsuchanunmitigateddressing。

"Wheredoyouwalk？"Iaskedanartlesslittlelady。

"O，almostalwaysonthelongpiazza。Itissocleanthere，andwedon\'tliketosoilourdresses。"

NowIaskifgirlscouldevergetintothatstateinthenaturalcourseofthings！Itistheresultofbadhabits。

Theyceasetocareforthingswhichtheyoughttoliketodo，andtheydevotethemselvestowhatoughttobeonlyanincident。Peopledressintheirbestwithoutbreak。Theygotothespringsbeforebreakfastinshiningraiment，andtheygointotheparloraftersupperinshiningraiment，anditisshine，shine，shine，allthewaybetween，andadifferentshineeachtime。YoumaywellsupposethatIwaslikeanowlamongbirdsofParadise，forwhatlittlefineryIhadwasinmy(eminently)travelling-trunk:yet，thoughitwasbutadory，comparedwiththeNoah\'sarksthatdroveupeveryday，Ifeltthat，ifIcouldonlyoncegetinsideofit，Icouldmakethingsflytosomepurpose。LikepoorRabette，Iwouldshowthecitythatthecountrytoocouldwearclothes！IneverwalkeddownBroadwaywithoutseeingadozenwhitetrunks，andeverywhitetrunkthatIsawIwasfullyconvincedwasmine，ifIcouldonlygetatit。Byandbyminecame，andI

blossomed。Iarrayedmyselfformorning，noon，andnight，andeverythingelsethatcameup，andwas，asthepoetsays，——

"Prodigiousinchange，Andendlessinrange，"——

forIwouldhavescornednottobeasgoodasthebest。Theresultwas，thatinthreedaysItouchedbottom。Butthenwewentaway，andmyreputationwassaved。Idon\'tbelieveanybodyeverdidalargerbusinessonasmallercapital；butIputaboldfaceonit。IcherishthehopethatnobodysuspectedIcouldnotgooninthatruinouswayallsummer，——

I，whointhreedayshadmusteredintoserviceeverydressandsashandribbonandthatIhadhadinthreeyearsorexpectedtohaveinthreemore。ButIneverwill，ifIcanhelpit，holdmyheaddownwhereotherpeopleareholdingtheirheadsup。

Iwouldnotbeunderstoodasdecryingordepreciatingdress。

Itisadutyaswellasadelight。Mrs。Madisonisreportedtohavesaidthatshewouldneverforgiveayoungladywhodidnotdresstoplease，oronewhoseemedpleasedwithherdress。

Andnotonlyyoungladies，butoldladiesandoldgentlemen，andeverybody，oughttomaketheirdressaconcordandnotadiscord。ButSaratogaispitchedonaperpetualfalsetto，andstunsyou。Onebecomessatedwithaninterminablepiecederesistanceoffulldress。Attheseasideyoubathe；atthemountainsyouputonstoutbootsandcoarsefrocksandgoa-fishing；butSaratoganever"letsup，"——ifImaybepardonedthephrase。Consequently，youseemuchofcrinolineandlittleofcharacter。YouhavetogetatthehumannaturejustasThoreauusedtogetatbird-natureandfish-natureandturtle-nature，bysittingperfectlystillinoneplaceandwaitingpatientlytillitcomesout。Youseemoreoftherealityofpeopleinasingleday\'strampthanintwentydaysofguardedmonotone。NowIcannotconceiveofanyreasonwhypeopleshouldgotoSaratoga，excepttoseepeople。True，asageneralthing，theyarethelastobjectsyoudesiretosee，whenyouaresummering。ButifonehasbeencoopedupinthehouseorblockedupinthecountryduringtheninemonthsofourNorthernwinter，hemayhaveamightyhungerandthirst，whenheisthawedout，toseehumanfacesandhearhumanvoices；buteventhenSaratogaisnottheplacetogoto，onaccountofthisveryartificialness。ByartificialIdonotmeandeceitful。Isawnobodybutnicepeoplethere，smooth，kind，andpolite。ByartificialImeanwroughtup。Youdon\'tgetattheheartofthings。Artificialnessspreadsandspansallwithacrystalbarrier，——invisible，butpalpable。Nothingwaslefttogrowandgoatitsownsweetwill。Theveryspringswerepavedandpavilioned。Forgreenfieldsandwellingfountainsandapossibilityofbrooks，whichoneexpectsfromthename，youfoundaGreektemple，andapleasure-ground，gradedandgrassedandpathedlikeacemetery，whereinnymphstroddaintilyinelaboratemorning-costume。

Everythingtookpatternandwaselaborate。Nothingwaslefttotheimagination，thetaste，thecuriosity。Abland，smooth，smilingsurfacebaffledandblindedyou，andthreatenedprofanity。Nowprofanityiswickedandvulgar；butifyoulistentothereedsnextsummer，Iamnotsurethatyouwillnothearthemwhispering，under，"Thunder！"

FortherestorativequalitiesofSaratogaIhavenothingtosay。IwaswellwhenIwentthere；nordidmyexperienceeverfurnishmewithanydiseasethatIshouldconsiderworsethananintermittentattackofherspringwaters。Butwhateveritmaydoforthebody，Idonotbelieveitisforthesoul。I

donotbelievethatsuchplaces，suchscenes，suchafashionoflifeevernourishesavigorouswomanhoodormanhood。Takenhomeopathically，itmaybeharmless；butbecomeahabit，anecessity，itmustvitiate，enervate，destroy。Mencanstandit，forthesea-breezesandthemountain-breezesmayhavefullsweepthroughtheirlife；butwomencannot，fortheyjustgohomeandliveair-tight。

Iftherailroad-menatSaratogatellyouthatyoucangostraightfromtheretothefootofLakeGeorge，don\'tyoubelieveawordofit。Perhapsyoucan，andperhapsyoucannot；

butyouarenotanymorelikelyto"can"fortheirsayingso。

WeleftSaratogaforFort-William-HenryHotelinfullfaithofanafternoonrideandasunsetarrival，basedonrepeatedandunhesitatingassurancestothateffect。Insteadofwhich，wewentafewmiles，andwerethendumpedintoablackberry-patch，wherewewereinformedthatwemustwaitsevenhours。Somuchfortheafternoonridethroughsummerfieldsand"SunsetonLakeGeorge，"fromthetopofacoach。ButImadenounmanlylaments，forwewereoutofSaratoga，andthatwashappiness。

Wewereamongcowsandbarnsandhomelyrail-fences，andthatwascomfort；sowestrolledcontentedlythroughthepasture，foundariver，——IbelieveitwastheHudson；atanyrate，Halicarnassussaidso，thoughIdon\'timagineheknew；buthewouldtakeoathitwasAcheronratherthanownuptoignoranceonanypointwhatever，——watchedthecanal-boatsandboatmengodown，marvelledatthearbor-vitaetreesgrowingwildalongtheriver-banks，green，hale，stately，andsymmetrical，againstthedismalmentalbackgroundoftwolittleconsumptiveshootsbolsteredupinourfrontyardathome，anddyingdaily，notwithstandingpersistentandaffectionatenursingwith"flannelsandrum，"andthenwewentbacktotheblackberry-

stationandinquiredwhethertherewasnothingcelebratedinthevicinitytowhichvisitorsofreceivedOrthodoxcreedshoulddutifullypaytheirrespects，andweregratifiedtolearnthatwewerebutafewmilesfromJaneMcCreaandherIndianmurderers。Wasacarriageprocurable？Well，yes，iftheladieswouldbewillingtogointhat。Itwasn\'tverysmart，butitwouldtake\'emsafe，——asif"theladies"wouldhaveraisedanyobjectionstogoinginawheelbarrow，haditbeennecessary，andsowebundledin。Thehillsweresteep，andourhorse，thepropertyofanadventitiousby-stander，wasoftheRosinantebreed；wewereinnohurry，seeingthattheonlythingawaitingusthissidethesunsetwasablackberry-patchwithoutanyblackberries，andwewalkeduphillandscrapeddown，tillwegotintoalanewhichsomebodytoldusledtotheFort，fromwhichthevillage，FortEdward，takesitsname。But，insteadofafort，thelaneranfulltiltagainstapairofbars。

"Nowwearelost，"Isaid，sententiously。

"Agemofcountlessprice，"pursuedHalicarnassus，whoneverquotespoetryexcepttodestroymyequilibrium。

"Howlongwillitbeprofitabletoremainhere？"askedGrande，whenwehadsatimmovableandspeechlessforthespaceoffiveminutes。

"Thereseemstohenowhereelsetogo。Wehavegottotheend，"saidHalicarnassus，roamingastohiseyesoverintothewheat-fieldbeyond。

"Wemightturn，"suggestedtheAnakim，lookingbright。

"Howcanyouturnahorseinthisknitting-needleofalane？"

Idemanded。

"Idon\'tknow，"repliedHalicarnassus，dubiously，"unlessI

takehimupinmyarms，andsethimdownwithhisheadtheotherway，"——andimmediatelyturnedhimdeftlyinacornerabouthalfaslargeasthewagon。

Thenextlanewecametowastherightone，andbeingnarrow，rocky，andrough，weleftourcarriageandwalked。

Awholevolumeofthepeacefulandprosperoushistoryofourbelovedcountrycouldbereadinthefactthattheoncebelligerent，life-saving，death-dealingfortwasrepresentedbyahen-coop；yetIwasdisappointed。Iwashungryforaruin，——somevisiblehintofthepast。Suchishumannature，——

everpronetobemoreimpressedbyadisappointmentofitsownmomentarygratificationthanbythemostobviouswell-beingofanationbut，gladorsorry，ofFortEdwardwasnotleftonestoneuponanother。Severalsinglestoneslayabout，promiscuousratherthanbelligerent。Flag-staffandpalisadeslivedonlyinafewstragglingbean-poles。Fortheheavyboomingofcannonrosethe"quauk！"ofducksandthecacklingofhens。WewenttothespotwhichtraditionpointsoutastheplacewhereJaneMcCreametherdeath。Riverflowed，andraftsmensangbelow；womenstoodattheirwashing-tubs，andwhite-headedchildrenstaredatusfromabove；norfromtheunheedingriverortheforgetfulweedscameorcryorfaintestwailofpain。

Whenwewerelittle，andgeographyandhistorywerebutprintedwordsonwhitepaper，notplacesandevents，JaneMcCreawastousnosufferingwoman，butapictureofalow-necked，long-

skirted，scantydress，longhairgraspedbyanakedIndian，andtwounnatural-lookinghandsraisedinentreaty。Itwasinterestingasapicture，butitexcitednopity，nohorror，becauseitwasonlyapicture。Weneversawwomendressedinthatstyle。Weknewthatwomendidnottakejourneysthroughwoodswithoutbonnetorshawl，andwespreadaveilofignorant，indifferentincredulityoverthewhole。Butaswegrowup，printedwordstakeonnewlife。Thelatentfireinthemlightsupandglows。Themysticwordsthrobwithvitalheat，andburndownintooursoulstoanansweringfire。Aswestand，onthissoftsummerday，bytheoldtreewhichtraditiondeclarestohavewitnessedthatfatefulscene，wegobackintoasummerlongago，butfair，andjustlikethis。

JaneMcCreaisnolongeramyth，butayounggirl，bloomingandbeautifulwiththerosesofherseventeenyears。Fartherbackstill，weseeanoldman\'sdarling，littleJennyoftheManse，alight-heartedchild，withsturdyScotchbloodleapinginheryoungveins，——thenatenderorphan，shelteredbyabrother\'scare，——thenagentlemaiden，light-heartednolonger，heavy-freighted，rather，butwithapricelessburden，——ahappygirl，towhomlovecallswithstrongervoicethanbrother\'sblood，strongereventhanlife。Yonderinthewoodslurkwilyandwaryfoes。Deathwithunspeakablehorrorsliesinambushthere；butyonderalsostandsthesoldierlover，andpossiblegreeting，afterlong，wearyabsence，isthere。Whatfearcanmasterthatoverpoweringhope？Estrangementoffamilies，politicaldisagreement，aseparatedloyalty，allmeltaway，arefusedtogetherinthewarmthofgirlishlove。Taxes，representation，whatthingsarethesetocomebetweentwohearts？NoTory，notraitorisherlover，butherownbraveheroandtrueknight。Woe！woe！theeagerdreamisbrokenbymadwar-whoops！alas！tothosefiercewildmen，whatislove，orloveliness？Pride，andpassion，andtheoldaccursedhungerforgoldflameupintheirsavagebreasts。Wrathful，loathsomefingersclutchthelong，fairhairthateventhefingersoflovehavecaressedbutwithreverenthalf-touch，——andloveandhopeandlifegooutinonedreadmomentofhorroranddespair。

Now，throughthereverberationsofmorethanfourscoreyears，throughallthetempest-rageofawarmoreawfulthanthat，andfraught，wehope，withagranderjoy，aclear，youngvoice，madesharpwithagony，ringsthroughtheshudderingwoods，cleavesupthroughthesummersky，andwakensineveryheartathrillofspeechlesspain。AlongthesepeacefulbanksIseeabowedformwalking，youthinhisyears，butdeeperfurrowsinhisfacethancanplough，strickendownfromtheheightsofambitionanddesire，allthevigorandfireofmanhoodcrushedandquenchedbeneaththehorrorofonefearfulmemory。

Sweetsummersky，bendingaboveussoftandsaintly，beyondyourbluedepthsistherenotHeaven？

"WemayaswellgiveDobbinhisoatshere，"saidHalicarnassus。

Wehadbroughtafewinabagforluncheon，thinkingitmighthelphimoverthehills。Sothewagonwasrummaged，thebagbroughttolight，andIwassenttooneofthenearesthousestogetsomethingforhimtoeatoutof。Ididnotthinktoaskwhatparticularvesseltoinquirefor；butafterIhadknocked，Idecideduponameat-platterorapudding-dish，andwiththegoodwoman\'spermissionfinallytookboth，thatHalicarnassusmighthavehischoice。

"Whichisthebest？"Iasked，holdingthemup。

Hesurveyedthemcarefully，andthensaid，——

"Nowrunrightbackandgetatumblerforhimtodrinkoutof，andateaspoontofeedhimwith。"

Istartedingoodfaith，fromamerehabitofunquestioningobedience，butwiththefourthstepmyreasonreturnedtome，andIreturnedtoHalicarnassusand——kickedhim。Thatsoundsverydreadfulandhorrible，anditis，ifyouarethinkingofagreat，brutal，brogankick，suchasastupidfarmergivestohispatientoxen；butnot，ifyoumeanonlyadelicate，compact，penetrativenudgewiththetoeofatight-fittinggaiter，——addressedrathertotheconsciencethanthesole，tothesensibilitiesratherthanthesenses。Thekickmasculineiscoarse，boorish，unmitigated，predicableonlyofCalibans。

Thekickfeminineisexpressive，suggestive，terse，electric，——

anindispensableinstrumentindomesticdiscipline，aswomenwillbearmewitness，andnotatallincompatiblewithbeauty，grace，andamiability。But，rightorwrong，afterallthisintervalofrestandreflection，infullviewofallthecircumstances，myonlyregretisthatIdidnotkickhimharder。

"Nowgoandfetchyourowntools！"Icried，shakingofftheyokeofservitude。"Iwon\'tbeyourstable-boyanylonger！"

Then，perforce，hegatheredupthecrockery，marchedoffindisgrace，andcamebackwithamolasses-hogshead，orawash-tub，orsomesuchovergrownmastodon，toturnhissixpenny-worthofoatsinto。

Havingfedourmettlesomesteed，thenextthingwastowaterhim。TheAnakimrememberedtohaveseenapumpwithatroughsomewhere，andtheyproposedtoreconnoitrewhileweshould"waitBYthewagon"theirreturn。No，Isaidwewoulddriveontothepump，whiletheywalked。

"Youdrive！"ejaculatedHalicarnassus，contemptuously。

NowIdonot，asageneralthing，haveanoverweeningrespectforfemaleteamsters。ThereisbutonewomanintheworldtowhosehandsIconfidethereinsandmyboneswithentireequanimity；andshesays，that，whensheisdriving，shedreadsofallthingstomeetadrivingwoman。Ifamansaidthis，itmightbesetdowntoprejudice。Idon\'tmakeanyaccountofHalicarnassus\'sassertion，that，iftwowomenwalkingintheroadonamuddydaymeetacarriage，theyneverkeeptogether，butinvariablyonerunstotherightandonetotheleft，sothatthedrivercannotfavorthematall，buthastocrowdbetweenthem，anddrivebothintothemud。Thatispalpablyinterestedfalsewitness。Hethinksitisfinefuntopushwomenintothemud，andframessuchflimsyexcuses。Butasawoman\'sthoughtsaboutwomen，thiswoman\'sutterancesaredeservingofattention；andshesaysthatwomenarenottobedependedupon。Sheisneversurethattheywillnotturnoutonthewrongside。Theyarenervous；theyaretimid；theyareunreasoning；theyarereckless。Theywillgiveahorseadisconnected，anutterlyinconsequent"cut，"makinghimspring，tothejeopardyoftheirownandothers\'safety。Theyarenotconcentrative，andtheyarenotinfalliblycourteous，asmenare。IrememberIwasdrivingwithheroncebetweenNewburyportandBoston。Itwasgettinglate，andwewereverydesiroustoreachourdestinationbeforenightfall。

Aheadofusawomanandagirlwerejoggingalonginacountrywagon。Aswewishedtogomuchfasterthanthey，weturnedasidetopassthem；butjustaswewerewellabreast，thewomanstartedupherhorse，andheskimmedoverthegroundlikeabird。

Welaughed，andfollowed，wellcontent。Butafterhehadgoneperhapsaneighthofamile，hisspeedslackeneddowntotheformerjog-trot。Threetimesweattemptedtopassbeforewereallycomprehendedthefactthatthatinfamouswomanwasdeliberatelydetainingandannoyingus。Thethirdtime，whenwehadsonearlypassedthemthatourhorsewasturningintotheroadagain，shestruckhersupsosuddenlyandunexpectedlythatherwheelsalmostgrazedours。Ofcourse，understandinghergame，weceasedtheattempt，havingnotasteforhorse-racing；andnearlyallthewayfromNewburyporttoRowley，shekeptupthatbrigandry，joggingon，andforcingustojogon，neithergoingaheadherselfnorsufferingustodoso，——aperfectandmostprovokingdoginamanger。Hergirl-associatewouldlookbehindeverynowandthentotakeobservations，andImentallyhopedthatthefriskyBucephaluswouldfriskhismistressoutofthecartandbreakherne——

arm，oratleastputhershoulderoutofjoint。Ifhedid，Ihadfullydeterminedinmyownmindtohastentoherassistance，andshamehertodeathwithdelicateandassiduouskindness。Butfatelingeredlikealltherestofus。ShereachedRowleyinsafety，andthereourroadsseparated。

Whethershestoppedthere，ordroveintoEthiopianwastesbeyond，Icannotsay；buthavenodoubtthatthemilkwhichshecarriedintoNewburyporttomarketwasblue，thebutterfrowy，andthepotatoesexceedinglysmall。

Nowdoyoumeantotellmethatanymanwouldhavebeenguiltyofsuchathing？Idon\'tmean，wouldhavecommittedsuchdiscourtesytoawoman？Ofcoursenot；butwouldamaneverdoittoaman？Never。Hemighttryitonceortwice，justforfun，justtoshowoffhishorse，butheneverwouldhavepersistedinittillajokebecameaninsult，nottosayapossibleinjury。

Still，asIwasabouttosay，whenthatRowleyjadeinterruptedme，thoughIhavesmallfaithinDi-Vernonismgenerally，andnolargefaithinmyownpersonalprowess，IdidfeelmyselfequaltothetaskofholdingthereinswhileourRosinantewalkedalonganopenroadtoapump。IthereforeresentedHalicarnassus\'scontemptuoustones，mountedthewagonwithasmuchdignityaswagonsallow，satstraightasanarrowonthedriver\'sseat，tookthereinsinbothhands，——astheyusedtotellmeImustnot，whenIwasalittlegirl，becausethatwaswomen\'sway，butIfindnowthatmenhaveadoptedit，soI

supposeitisallright，——andproceededtoshow，likeSamPatch，thatsomethingscanbedoneaswellasothers。

HalicarnassusandtheAnakimtookuptheirpositioninlineontheothersideoftheroad，hatinhand，watching。

"Gofast，andshamethem，"whisperedGrande，fromtheback-seat，andthesuggestionjumpedwithmyownmood。

Itwasamomentofintenseexcitement。Tobeornottobe。Ijerkedthelines。Pegasusdidnotstart。

"C-l-k-l-k！"Noforwardmovement。

"Huddup！"Stillwaitingforreinforcements。

"H-w-e。"(Attemptatawhistle。Deadfailure。)

(Sottovoce。)"Oyoubeast！"(Pianiassimo。)"Gee！Haw！haw！

haw！"withaterriblejerkingofthereins。

Avoiceovertheway，distinctlyaudible，uttersthecabalisticwords，"Twoforty。"Anothervoice，asaudible，asks，"Which\'llyoubeton？"Itwasnotsoothing。Itdidseemasiftheimpoftheperversehadtakenpossessionofthatterriblenagtogoandmakesuchadisplayatsuchamoment。Butashiswillrose，sodidmine，andmywillwentup，mywhipwentwithit；

butbeforeitcamedown，Halicarnassusmadeshifttodroneout，"Wouldn\'tFloragofaster，ifshewasuntied？"

Tobesure，Ihadforgottentounfastenhim，andtherethosetwomenhadstoodandknownitallthetime！Iwasinthewagon，sotheyweresecurefrompersonalviolence，butIhaveavagueimpressionofsome"petnames"flyingwildlyaboutintheairinthatvicinity。Thenwetrundledsafelydownthelane。Weweretogointhedirectionleadingawayfromhome，——

thehorse\'s。Idon\'tthinkheperceiveditatfirst，butassoonhedidsnuffthefact，whichhappenedwhenhehadgoneperhapsthreerods，hequietlyturnedaroundandheadedtheotherway，payingnomoreattentiontomyreinsormyterrific"whoas！"thanifIwereasleepingbabe。Ahorseisnoneofyourwoman\'s-rightsmen。HeisPauline。Hesuffersnotthewomantousurpauthorityoverhim。Heneversaysanythingnorvotesanything，butdeclareshimselfunequivocallybytakingthingsintohisownhands，wheneverheknowsthereisnobodybutawomanbehindhim，——andsomehowhealwaysdoesknow。

AfterHalicarnassushadturnedhimbackandsethimgoingtherightway，Itookonagruff，mannyvoice，todeceive。

Nonsense！Icouldalmostseehimsnaphisfingersatme。Hemindedmywhipnomorethanhedidafly，——notsomuchashedidsomeflies。Grandesaidshesupposedhisbackwasallcallous。Iacteduponthesuggestion，kneltdowninthebottomofthewagon，andleanedoverthedashertowhiphimonhisbelly，thenclimbedoutontheshaftsandsnappedabouthisears；buthestooditmuchbetterthanI。FinallyIfoundthatbytakingthesmallendofthewoodenwhip-handle，andstickingitintohim，Icouldelicitafaintflashoflight；soIdiditwithassiduity，butthemoderatetrotwhicheventhatproducedwasnotenoughtoaccomplishmydesign，whichwastooutstripthetwomenandmakethemrunorbeg。Theopposingforcesarrivedatthepumpaboutthesametime。

Halicarnassustookthehandle，andgaveaboutfivejerks。ThentheAnakimtookitandgavefivemore。Thentheybothstoppedandwipedtheirfaces。

"Whatdoyousupposethispumpwasputherefor？"askedHalicarnassus。

"Amilestone，probably，"repliedtheAnakim。

ThentheyresumedtheirHerculeaneffortstillthewatercame，andthentheygotintothewagon，andwedroveintotheblackberriesoncemore，wherewearrivedjustinseasontoescapeathunder-shower，andpilemerrilyintooneofseveralcoacheswaitingtoconveypassengersinvariousdirectionsassoonasthetrainshouldcome。

Itisveryselfish，butfinefun，tohavesecuredyourownchosenseatandbestowedyourownluggage，andhavenothingtodobutwitnesstheanxietiesandeffortsofotherpeople。Theexquisitepleasureweenjoyedforfifteenminutes，edifiedatthelastbyhearingoneofourcoachmencallout，"Here，Rosey，thisway！"——whereuponamanlyvoice，inthedarkness，nearus，soliloquized，"RespectfulwayofaddressingajudgeoftheSupremeCourt！"and，beinginterrogated，thevoiceinformedusthat"Rosey"wasthevulgateforJudgeRosecranz；whereuponHalicarnassusovertherampantdemocracybyremarkingthatthediminutivewasprobablyatermofendearmentratherthanfamiliarity；whereuponthemanlyvoice——ifImightsayit——

snickeredaudiblyinthedarkness，andweallrelapsedintosilence。Butcouldanythingbemorecharacteristicofacertainphaseofthemannersofourgreatandgloriouscountry？

WherearetheTrollopes？WhereisDickens？WhereisBasilHall？

ItisbutadrearyridetoLakeGeorgeonadarkandrainyevening，unlesspeoplelikeridingforitsownsake，asIdo。

Iftherearesunsandstarsandskies，verywell。Iftherearenot，verywelltoo:Iliketorideallthesame。IlikeeverythinginthisworldbutSaratoga。Onceortwiceourmonotonywasbrokenupbyshorthaltsbeforecountryinns。

Atoneanexcitementwasgoingon。"Hadacasualtyherethisafternoon，"remarkedafreshpassenger，assoonashewasfairlyseated。Acasualtyisawindfalltoacountryvillage。

Itisreallyworthwhiletohaveaheadbrokenoccasionally，forthewholesomestirring-upitgivestotheheadsthatarenotbroken。Onthewhole，Iquestionwhethercollisionsandcollusionsdonotcauseasmuchgoodasharm。Certainly，peopleseemtotakethemostlivelysatisfactioninreceivingandimpartingallthedetailsconcerningthem。Ourpassenger-friendopenedhisbudgetwithasmuchcomplacenceaseverdidMr。GladstoneorDisraeli，andwithaconfidentairofknowingthathewasgoingnotonlytoenjoyapieceofgood-fortunehimself，buttoadministeragreatgratificationtous。Our"casualty"turnedouttobetheaffairofaCatholicpriest，ofwhichourinformerspokeonlyindarkhintsandwithsignificantshoulder-shrugsandeyebrow-elevations，becauseitwas"notexactlythethingtogetout，youknow"；

butifitwasn\'ttogetout，whydidheletitout？andsofrommydarkcornerIwatchedhimasacatdoesamouse，andthelamp-lightshonefulluponhim，andIunderstoodeverywordandshrug，andIamgoingtotellitalltotheworld。I

translatedthattheholyfatherhadbeen"skylarking"inaboat，andingaysocietyhadforgottenhisvowsoffrugalityandabstinenceandgeneralmortificationoftheflesh，andhadbecome，notverydrunk，butdrunkenoughtobedangerous，whenhecameashoreandtookahorseinhishands，andsoupsethiscarriage，andgashedhistemporalartery，andcametogrief，whichissuchacasualtyasdoesnothappeneveryday，andI

don\'tblamepeopleformakingthemostofit。Thenthemoralwaspointed，thetaleadorned，andtheimpressiondeepened，solemnized，andstruckhomebythefactthattheveryhorseconcernedinthe"casualty"wastobefastenedbehindourcoach，andthewholepopulationcameoutwithinternsandumbrellastotiehimon，——allbutoneman，whowasdeaf，andstoodonthepiazza，anxiousandeagertoknoweverythingthathadbeenandwasstilloccurring，andyetsorrytogivetrouble，andsocompromisingthematterandmakingitworse，ascompromisersgenerallydo，byquestioningeverybodywithadeprecating，fawningair。

Item。Weshallall，ifwelivelongenough，bedeaf，butweneednotbemeekaboutit。Iforoneamdeterminedtowalkuptopeopleanddemandwhattheyaresayingatthepointofthebayonet。Deafness，ifitmustbeso，butindependenceatanyrate。

Andwhenthefulnessoftimeiscome，wealightatFort-William-HenryHotel，andallnightlongthroughthesentientwoodsIheartheboomingofJohnson\'scannon，therattleofDieskan\'sguns，andthatwildwar-whoop，moreterriblethanall。AgainoldMonrowatchesfromhisfortress-wallsthesteadilyapproachingfoe，andlooksinvainforhelp，savetohisownbraveheart。Iseethelightofconquestshininginhisfoeman\'seye，darkenedbytheshadowofthefatethatwaitshiscomingonableakNorthernhillbut，generousinthehourofvictory，heshallnotbelessnobleindefeat，——fortogenerousheartsallgenerousheartsarefriendly，whethertheystandfacetofaceorsidebyside。

Overthewoodsandthewaves，whenthemorningbreaks，likeabridegroomcomingforthfromhischamber，rejoicingasastrongmantorunarace，comesupthesuninhismightandcrownshimselfking。Allthesummerday，frommorntodewyeve，wesailoverthelakesofParadise。Bluewaters，andbluesky，softcloudsandgreenislands，andfair，fruitfulshores，sharp-pointedhills，long，gentleslopesandswells，andthelightsandshadowsoffar-stretchingwoods；andoverallthepotenceoftheunseenpast，thegrand，historicpast，——softoveralltheinvisiblemantlewhichourfathersflungattheirdeparting，——themysticeffluenceofthespiritsthattrodthesewildsandsailedthesewaters，——thecourageandthefortitude，thehopethatbattledagainsthope，thecomprehensiveoutlook，thesagaciouspurpose，theresolutewill，theunhesitatingself-sacrifice，theundaunteddevotionwhichhasmadethisheroicground；casttheseintoyourownglowingcrucible，O

graciousfriend，andcrystallizeforyourselfsuchagemofdaysasshallworthilybesetforeverinyourcrownofthebeatitudes。

PARTIII。

SometimesIbecomedisgustedwithmyself。Notveryoften，itistrue，forIdon\'tunderstandtheself-abhorrencethatI

occasionallyseelongdrawnoutinthestrictlyprivateprinteddiariesofgooddeadpeople。Aman\'sself-knowledge，asregardshisMaker，isamatterthatliesonlybetweenhisMakerandhimself，ofwhichnoprintedorwritten(scarcelyevenspoken)wordscangive，oroughttogive，atruetranscript；

butinrespectofourrelationstootherpeopleIsupposewemaytaketolerablyaccurateviews，andstatethemwithoutwickedness，ifitcomesintheway；andsincethegeneraltrendofopinionseemstobetowardsexcessivemodesty，Iwillsacrificemyselftothegoodofsociety，andsaythat，inthemain，IthinkIamarather"nice"sortofperson。OfcourseIdoagreatmanythings，andsayagreatmanythings，andthinkagreatmanythings，thatIoughtnot；butwhenIthinkofthesinsthatIdon\'tcommit，——themanytimeswhenIfeelcrossenoughto"biteaten-pennynailintwo，"andonlybitemylips，——thesacrificesImakeforotherpeople，anddon\'tmentionit，andtheythemselvesneverknowit，——thequietcheerfulnessImaintainwhenthefiregoesout，orunexpectedguestsarriveandthereisnobreadinthehouse，ormymanuscriptisrespectfullydeclinedbythatinfatuatededitor，——

whenIreflectuponthesethings，andathousandotherslikeuntothem，Imustsay，Iamlostinadmirationofmyownvirtues。Youmaynotlikeme，butthatisameredifferenceoftaste。Atanyrate，Ilikemyselfverywell，andfindmyselfverygoodcompany。Manyalaugh，and"lots"or"heaps"

(accordingasyouareaNorthernoraSouthernprovincial)ofconversationwehaveallalone，andareusuallyonexceedinggoodterms，whichisapleasure，evenwhenotherpeoplelikeme，andanimmenseconsolationwhentheydon\'t。ButasIwassaying，Idosometimesfalloutwithmyself，andwithhumannatureingeneral(and，infact，Iratherthinkthesecretofself-complacencelurkssomewherehereabouts，——inamentalassumptionthatourvirtuesareourown，butourfaultsbelongtotherace)。Buttothinkthatweweresopunyandpuerilethatwecouldnotstandthebeautythatbreathedaroundus！

Idonotmeanthatitkilledus，butitdrainedus。Itdidnotceasetobebeautiful，butweceasedtobeoverpowered。Whenthedaybegan，eyeandsoulwerefilledwiththelightthatneverwasonseaorshore。Wespokelowandlittle，gazingwiththrobbinghearts，breathless，receptive，solemn，andbeforetwelveo\'clockweflattedoutandmadejests。Thisishumiliation，——thatourdullardsoulscannotkeepuptothepitchofsublimityfortwohours；thatwecouldsailthroughGloryandBeauty，throughPastandPresent，andlaugh。LowasIsankwiththerest，though，IdobelieveIheldoutthelongest:butwhatcanonefrailpebbledoagainstariver？

"Howprettycowslookinalandscape，"Isaid；foryouknow，evenifyoumustcomedown，itisbettertorolldownaninclinedplanethantodropoveraprecipice；andIthought，sinceIsawthatdescentwasinevitable，Iwouldatleastengineerthepartygentlythroughaestheticstopuns。SoI

said，"Howprettycowslookinalandscape，socalmandreflective，andsheepharmoniouslyhappyinthesummer-tide。"

"Yes，"saidtheAnakim，whoisNewHampshireborn；"butyououghttoseetheNewHampshiresheep，ifyouwanttherealarticle。"

"Idon\'t，"Iresponded。"Ionlywantthepicture。"

"EvernoticethedifferencebetweenVermontandNewHampshiresheep？"struckupHalicarnassus，whomustalwaysputinhisoar。

"No，"Isaid，"andIdon\'tbelievethereisany。"

"Pooh！TellNewHampshiresheepasfaroffasyoucansee\'em，"hepersisted，"bytheirshortlegsandlongnoses。Shortlegstobring\'emnearthegrass，andlongnosestopokeundertherocksandgetit。"

"Yes，myboy，yes，"saidtheAnakimpleasantly。"IOU1"

"Hehathmadeeverythingbeautifulinhistime，"murmuredGrande，partlybecause，gazingatthedistantprospect，shethoughtso，andpartlyasapraiseworthyattempt，inherturn，topluckusoutofthesloughintowhichwehadfallen。

"Ihaveheard，"saidHalicarnassus，whoisalwayslugginginlittlescrapsofinformationapropostoeverything，——"IhavebeentoldthatDr。AlexanderwassogreatanadmireroftheProverbsofSolomon，thatheusedtoreadthemovereverythreemonths。"

"Ibegyourpardon，"Iinterposed，gladoftheopportunitytocorrectandhumiliatehim，"butthatwasnotoneoftheProverbsofSolomon。"

"Whosaiditwas？"askedtheGrandMogul，savagely。

"Nobody；butyouthoughtitwaswhenshesaidit，"answeredhisantagonist，coolly。

"Andwhoseproverbisit，myLadySuperior？"

"ItisinEcclesiastes，"Isaid。

"Well，EcclesiastesisnextdoortoSolomon。It\'sallone。"

Halicarnassuscancreepthroughthesmallestknot-holeofanymanofhissizeithaseverbeenmylottomeet，providedthereisanythingontheothersidehewishestogetat。Ifthereisnot，andespeciallyifanythingistherewhichhewishestoshun，afourhundredandfiftypoundercannotcrashaholelargeenoughforyoutopushhimthrough。BysuchapitifulchinkasthatdidhisInfallibleHighnesswrigglehimselfoutoftherangeofmyguns，andpursuehislineofremark。

"ButIreallycannotsaythatIhavebeenabletodetecttheexcessivesuperiorityofSolomon\'sproverbs。Ifitwerenotforthenameofit，IthinkSanchoPanza\'smuchbetter。"

"Taisez-vous。Holdyourtongue，"Isaid，withoutmitigation。

IfthereisanythingIcannotawaywith，itistrivialapostasy。Itoleratelatitudinarianismwhenitishereditary。

Wherepeople\'sfathersandmothersbeforethemhavebeenPagans，andCatholics，andMohammedans，youdon\'tblameTHEM

forbeingso。Youregrettheirerror，andstrivetoleadthembackintotherightpath；onlytheyarenotinflammatory。Buttohavepeoplegooutfromthefaithoftheirfatherswithmaliceaforethoughtandtheireyesopen——well，thatisnotexactlywhatImeaneither。Thatisasorrowful，butnotnecessarilyanexasperatingthing。WhatImeanisthis:I

seepeopleOrthodoxfromtheircradles，(andprobablyonlyfromtheircradles，certainlynotfromtheirbrains，)whothinkitissomethingprettytobecomeUnitarianistic。Theydon\'tbecomeUnitarians，astheyneverwereOrthodox，becausetheyhavenotthoughtenoughorsenseenoughtobecomeortobeanything；buttheyliketomakeastirandattractattention。

Theyseemtothinkitindicatesgreatliberalityofcharacter，andgreatbreadthofview，tobecontinuallyflingingoutagainsttheirownfaith，ridiculingthis，that，andtheotherpointheldbytheirChurch，andshockingdevoutandsimple-mindedOrthodoxbytheirquasi-profanity。NowforgoodOrthodoxChristiansIhaveagreatrespect；andforgoodUnitarianChristiansIhaveagreatrespect；andforsincere，sadseekers，whocanfindnorestforthesoleoftheirfoot，Ihaveagreatrespect；butfortheseBorderStatemen，whoareneitherherenorthere，onwhomyounevercanlayyourhand，becausetheyaretwitteringeverywhere，Ihaveaprofoundcontempt。Iwishpeopletobeeitheronethingoranother。

Idesirethemtobelievesomething，andknowwhatitis，andsticktoit。Ihavenopatiencewiththismodernoutcryagainstcreeds。Youhearpeopleinveighagainstthem，withoutforamomentthinkingwhattheyare。Theytalkasifcreedsweretheheadandfrontofhumanoffending，theinfalliblesignofbigotryandhypocrisy，incompatiblealikewithpietyandwisdom。Donotthesewisemenknowthatthethinkersanddoersoftheearth，inoverwhelmingmajority，havebeencreedmen？

Creedsmayexistwithoutreligion，butneitherreligion，norphilosophy，norpolitics，norsociety，canexistwithoutcreeds。Theremustbeacreedinthehead，ortherecannotbereligionintheheart。YoumustbelievethatDeityexists，beforeyoucanreverenceDeity。Youmustbelieveinthefactofhumanity，oryoucannotloveyourfellows。Acreedisbuttheconcentration，thecrystallization，ofbelief。Truthisofbutlittleworthtillitissocrystallized。Truthlyingdissolvedinoceansoferrorandnonsenseandignorancemakesbutafeeblediluent。Itswasheseverywhere，buttodeluge，nottobenefit。Precipitateit，andyouhavethesaltoftheearth。Politicalopposition，inorganic，isbutablind，cumbrous，awkward，inefficientthing；butconstructaplatform，andimmediatelyitbecomeslithe，efficient，powerful。Evenbeforetheysetfootontheserudeshores，ourforefathersmadeacompact，andanationwasborninthatday。Itisoncreedsthatstrongmenarenourished，andthatwhichnourishestheleadersintoeminenceisnecessarytokeepthemassesfromsinking。Amanwhoreallythinks，willthinkhiswayintolight。Hemayturnmanyasomersault，buthewillcomerightsideupatlast。Butpeopleingeneraldonotthink，andiftheyrefusetobewalledinbyotherpeople\'sthoughts，theyinevitablyflopandflounderintopitiableprostration。Soimportantisit，thatapoorcreedisbetterthannoneatall。

Truth，evenadulteratedaswegetit，isatonic。Bringforwardsomethingtangible，somethingpositive，somethingthatmeanssomething，anditwilldo。Butthisflowery，misty，dreamyhumanitarianism，——Isayhumanitarianism，becauseIdon\'tknowwhatthatis，andIdon\'tknowwhatthethingIamdrivingatis，soIputthetwounknownquantitiestogetherinamathematicalhopethatminusintominusmaygiveplus，——thismilk-and-waterymuddleofdrearynegations，thatremitstheworldtoitsoriginalfluidicstateofchaos，Ispewitoutofmymouth。ItwasnotonsuchpapourCaesarsfedthatmadethemgrowsogreat。IbelievethatthecommonpeopleofearlyNewEnglandweresuchlustymen，becausetheystrengthenedthemselvesbygnawingattheirtougholdcreeds。Giveonesomethingtobelieve，andhecangetatitandbelieveit；butsetoutbuttingyourheadagainstnothing，andthechancesarethatyouwillbreakyourneck。TakeagoodstoutChristian，oragoodsturdyPagan，andyoufindsomethingtobringupagainst；butwithnebulousvapidistsyouarealwaysslumpingthroughandsprawlingeverywhere。

Ofcourse，Idonotmeanthatsincereandsensiblepeopleneverchangenormodifytheirfaith。Iwishtosay，foritsemphasis，ifyouwillallowme，thattheyneverdoanythingelse；butgenerallythechangeisagradualandnaturalone，——

agrowth，notaconvulsion，——areformation，notarevolution。

Whenitisotherwise，itisaseriousmatter，nottobelightlydoneorflippantlydiscussed。Ifyoureallyhadareligiousbelief，itthrewoutrootsandrootletsthroughallyourlife。

Itsuckedinstrengthfromeverysource。Itintertwineditselfthroughloveandlabor，throughsufferingandsong，abouteveryfibreofyoursoul。Youcannotpullitupordigitup，orinanywaydisplaceit，withoutsettingtheveryfoundationsofyourlifea-quivering。True，itmaybebestthatyoushoulddothis。Ifitwasbutacumbereroftheground，tearitup，rootandbranch，andplantinitssteadtheseedsofthattreewhoseleavesareforthehealingofthenations。Butsuchthingsaredonewithcircumspection，——notasuntoman。Ifyouaregayandjovialaboutit，ifyoufeelnodartsoftortureflashingthroughbefastnessesofyourlife，donotflatteryourselfthatyouaremakingradicalchanges。Youareonlypullinguppig-weedtosetoutsmart-weed，andthelessyousayaboutitthebetter。

NowHalicarnassusisreallyjustasOrthodoxasI。HewouldnotlieorstealanyquickerthanI。Hewouldnotwillinglysacrificeonejotortittleofhisfaith，andyetheisalwaysstartlingyouwithsmallheresies。Heislikeacalftiedtoatreeintheorchardbyalongrope。IntheexuberanceofhisgleeBossystartsfromthepost，tailup，inahandgallop。

Youwouldthink，fromthewayhesetsout，thathewasgoingtoracearoundthewholeorchard，andprobablyhethinksheishimself。Butbythetimeheisfairlyunderfullheadway，hisropetightensupwithajerk，andawayhegoesheelsoverhead。

Theonlydifferenceis，thatHalicarnassusknowsthelengthofhistether，andalwaysfetchesupintimetoescapeanoverturn；butotherpeopledonotknowit，andtheyimagineheisgoingpell-mellintoinfidelity。NowIwasdeterminedtohavenoneofthistrashinasteamboat。Onehasnodesiretoencountersuperfluousrisksinacountrywherelifeandlimbareheldonsouncertainatenureasinthis。TherearequitechancesenoughofshipwreckwithouthavinganyJonahsaboard。

Besides，inpointofthefinearts，heterodoxyisworsethanpuns。SoIheadedhimoffatthefirstonset。ButIshouldnothavebeensoentirelysuccessfulintheattempthadInotbeenassistedbyapairofbirdswhocametodistracthisandourattentionfromaneighboringthicket。Theywheeled——thegentle，graceful，sly，tantalizingthings——incirclesandellipses，nowskimmingalongthesurfaceofthewater，nowswoopingawayingreatsmoothcurves，thendartingoffinheadlongflightandpursuit。"Mykingdomforagun！"exclaimedHalicarnassuswithamateurardor。

"Iamgladyouhavenogun，"saidcompassionateGrande。"Whyshouldyoukillthem？"

"Donotbealarmed，"Isaid，soothingly，"adistaffwouldbeasdeadlyinhishands。"

"Doyouspeakbythebook，Omphale？"askedtheAnakim，whostillcarriedthoseNewHampshiresheeponhisback。

"Wewenta-duckingoncedowninSwampshire，"Ianswered。

"Didyoucatchany？"queriedGrande。

"Duckings？no，"saidHalicarnassus。

"Norduckseither，"Iadded。"Hemadegreatadowithhisguns，andhispouches，andhisfanfaronade，andknockingmewithhiselbowsandtellingmetokeepstill，whennomousecouldbemorestillthanI，andafterallhedidnotcatchone。"

"Onlyfiredonceortwice，"saidHalicarnassus，"justforfun，andtoshowherhowtodoit。"

"Hownottodoit，youmean，"saidtheAnakim。

"Youfiredfortytimes，"Isaidquietly，butfirmly，"andtheduckswouldcomeoutandlookatyouasinterestedascouldbe。

Youknowyoudidn\'tscarealittlemeadow-hen。Theyknewyoucouldn\'thit。"

"Tradeoffyourducksagainstmysheep，andcalliteven？"

chuckledtheAnakim；andso，chattingandhappy，weglidedalong，enjoying，notentranced，comfortable，butnotsublime，contenttodrinkinthesunnysweetnessofthesummerday，happyonlyfromthepleasantsenseofbeing，tanglingeachotherinsillytalkoutofmerewantonness，purlingupbubblesofairynothingsinsheereffervescenceofanimaldelight；

fallingintoperiodicfitsofusefulknowledge，undertheinfluenceofwhichweconsultedourmapsandourwatchesinaconjointandclamorousendeavortolocateourselves，whichwouldnosoonerbesatisfactorilyaccomplishedthansomethingwouldturnupandsetourcalculationsandislandsadrift，andwewouldhavetobeginnew。DomeIslandwemadeoutbyitsshape，unquestionably；Whortleberrywehazardedonthestrengthofitsbushes；"HenandChicks，"byabiggishislandbroodinghalfadozenlittleones；FleaIsland，fromacertainsnappishnessofaspect；Half-WayIsland，byourdistancefromdinner；Anthony\'sNose，byitsunlikenesstoanythingelse，certainlynotfromitsresemblancetonosesingeneral，letalonetheindividualnoseofMarkAntony，orMadAnthony，oranyAnthonybetween。Andthenwedisembarkedandpostedourselvesonthecoach-topforasix-mileridetoChamplain；

andGrandesaid，herfacestillburiedinthemap，"Hereontheleftis\'TroutBrook\'runningintothelake，andacrossonit，and\'Lt。Howefell，1758。\'Thatisworthseeing。"

"Yes，"Isaid，"Americalovedhisbrother。"

"AmericalovedHIM，"howledHalicarnassus，thinkingtocorrectmeandavengehimself。NowIknewquitewellthatAmericalovedhim，anddidnotlovehisbrother，butwiththementionofhisnamecameintomymindthetender，grievedsurpriseofthatpatheticlittleappeal，andIjustsaidthoughtitaloud，——

assuminghistoricknowledgeenoughinmylistenerstopreventmisconception。ButtothisdayHalicarnassuspersistsinthinkingoratleastinasserting，thatItrippedoverLordHowe。Ashedoesnotoftengetsuchachance，Ilethimcomforthimselfwithitasmuchashecan；butthatisthewaywithyourwhippersnappercritics。Theyputontheir"specs，"

andpouncedownuponsomemicroscopicmote，whichtheythinktobeignorance，butwhichisreallythediamond-dustofimagination。"Butletusseetheplace，"saidGrande。"Wemustdrivewithinsightofit。"